Interpersonal conflicts can be considered as a clash of personalities in the process of their relationships. Such clashes can occur in various spheres and areas (economic, political, industrial, sociocultural, everyday, etc.). The reasons for such clashes are infinitely diverse (from a convenient seat in public transport to the presidential seat in government agencies). As in others social conflicts, here we can talk about objectively and subjectively incompatible or opposing (mutually exclusive) interests, needs, goals, values, attitudes, perceptions, assessments, opinions, modes of behavior, etc.
Objective factors create the potential for conflict to arise. For example, a vacant position for a department head may become a cause of conflict between two employees if both are applying for this position. The social (impersonal) relations between potential participants in the conflict, for example, their status and role positions, can also be considered conditionally objective.
Subjective factors in interpersonal conflict are formed on the basis of individual (socio-psychological, physiological, ideological, etc.) characteristics of individuals. These factors largely determine the dynamics of the development and resolution of interpersonal conflict and its consequences.
Interpersonal conflicts arise both between people meeting for the first time and between people who are constantly communicating. In both cases, the personal perception of the partner or opponent plays an important role in the relationship. The process of interpersonal perception has a complex structure. IN social psychology the process of reflection presupposes at least three positions that characterize the mutual reflection of subjects:
1) the subject himself, as he really is;
2) the subject, how he sees himself;
3) the subject as he appears to another.
In the relationship between subjects, we have the same three positions on the part of the other subject of reflection. The result is a process of double, mirror mutual reflection of each other by the subjects (Fig. 1).
A scheme of interaction between subjects, similar in structure to the reflexive one, but slightly different in content, was proposed by the American psychotherapist Eric Berne (Fig. 2).
In this scheme, the basis of the conflict is the different states of the subjects of interaction, and the “provocation” of the conflict is intersecting transactions. Combinations “a” and “b” are conflicting. In combination “c”, one of the subjects of interaction clearly dominates the other or occupies the position of a patron, the other subject is content with the role of a “child”. In this combination, conflicts do not arise due to the fact that both subjects take their positions for granted. The most productive position in human communication is the “g” position (B*^B). This is communication between equal people, without infringing on the dignity of either party.
Already established stereotypes often interfere with the adequate perception of a person by others. For example, a person has a preconceived idea of an official as a soulless bureaucrat, a red tape worker, etc. In turn, the official may also form a negative image of a petitioner who is undeservedly seeking special benefits for himself. In communication, these individuals will not interact real people, and stereotypes are simplified images of certain social types. Stereotypes develop in conditions of a lack of information, like generalizations personal experience and preconceived notions accepted in society or in a particular social environment. Examples of stereotypes can be statements like: “all salesmen...”, “all men...”, “all women...”, etc.
A formed, possibly false, image of another can seriously deform the process of interpersonal interaction and contribute to the emergence of conflict.
An obstacle to finding agreement between individuals can be negative attitude, formed by one opponent in relation to another. Attitude is the readiness, predisposition of a subject to act in a certain way. This is a certain direction of the manifestation of the psyche and behavior of the subject, readiness to perceive future events. It is formed under the influence of rumors, opinions, judgments about a given individual (group, phenomenon, etc.). For example, an entrepreneur has previously arranged a meeting with his colleague from another company to conclude an important business agreement. In preparation for the meeting, he heard negative comments from third parties about the business and ethical qualities of the proposed partner. Based on these reviews, the entrepreneur has formed a negative attitude and the meeting may either not take place or not produce the expected results.
In conflict situations, a negative attitude deepens the rift between opponents and makes it difficult to resolve and resolve interpersonal conflicts.
Often the causes of interpersonal conflicts are misunderstandings (misunderstanding of one person by another). This occurs due to different ideas about the subject, fact, phenomenon, etc. “We often expect,” writes Maxwell Moltz, “that others will react to the same facts or circumstances in the same way as we do, doing the same the very conclusions. We forget that a person does not react to real facts, but on your ideas about them.” People have different ideas, sometimes diametrically opposed, and this fact must be accepted as a completely natural phenomenon, not conflict, but try to understand others.
When interacting with people, a person protects, first of all, his personal interests and this is quite normal. The conflicts that arise are a reaction to obstacles to achieving goals. And how significant the subject of the conflict seems to be for a particular individual will largely depend on his conflict setting– predisposition and readiness to act in a certain way in a perceived conflict. It includes the goals, expectations and emotional orientation of the parties.
In interpersonal interaction, an important role is played by the individual qualities of opponents, their personal self-esteem, self-reflection, individual threshold of tolerance, aggressiveness (passivity), type of behavior, sociocultural differences, etc. There are concepts interpersonal compatibility and interpersonal incompatibility. Compatibility presupposes mutual acceptance of partners in communication and joint activities. Incompatibility - mutual rejection (antipathy) of partners, based on discrepancy (opposition) social attitudes, value orientations, interests, motives, characters, temperaments, psychophysical reactions, individual psychological characteristics of the subjects of interaction.
Interpersonal incompatibility can cause emotional conflict (psychological antagonism), which is the most complex and difficult to resolve form of interpersonal confrontation.
In the development of interpersonal conflict, it is also necessary to take into account the influence of the social and socio-psychological environment. For example, conflicts between gentlemen in the presence of ladies can be especially cruel and uncompromising, since they affect the honor and dignity of opponents.
Individuals encounter interpersonal conflicts, defending not only their personal interests. They can also represent the interests of individual groups, institutions, organizations, labor collectives, society as a whole. In such interpersonal conflicts, the intensity of the struggle and the possibility of finding compromises is largely determined by the conflict attitudes of those social groups, whose representatives are opponents.
Options for the outcome of interpersonal conflict
All causes of interpersonal conflicts arising from clashes of goals and interests can be divided into three main types.
First– presupposes a fundamental clash in which the realization of the goals and interests of one opponent can be achieved only by infringing on the interests of the other.
Second– affects only the form of relations between people, but does not infringe on their spiritual, moral and material needs and interests.
Third– represents imaginary contradictions that can be provoked either by false (distorted) information or incorrect interpretation of events and facts.
Interpersonal conflicts can take the form of:
? rivalry– desire for dominance;
? spore– disagreements regarding finding the best solution to joint problems;
? discussions- discussion of a controversial issue.
Depending on the causes of the conflict and on the methods of conflict behavior of opponents, interpersonal conflict can have the following types outcome:
1) care from resolving a conflict when one of the parties does not seem to notice the contradictions that have arisen;
2) smoothing contradictions, when one of the parties either agrees with the claims made against it (but only in this moment), or seeks to justify himself;
3) compromise– mutual concessions of both parties;
4) escalation of tension and the escalation of the conflict into an all-encompassing confrontation;
5) power option suppression of a conflict, when one or both parties are forced by force (threat of force) to accept one or another outcome of the conflict.
Prevention and resolution of interpersonal conflicts
If a conflict situation has arisen, then before “getting involved in a fight,” you need to seriously weigh all the possible pros and cons of the proposed conflict and ask a few questions:
Are there really contradictions that are worth fighting over?
Is it possible to solve the problems that have arisen in other ways without resorting to conflict?
Are there any guarantees that you will achieve the desired results in the upcoming conflict?
What will be the price of victory or defeat for you and your opponent?
What are possible consequences conflict?
How will the people around you react to the conflict?
It is advisable that your opponent in the alleged conflict analyze the conflict situation that has arisen from the same positions and possible ways its development. Comprehensive analysis conflict situation contributes to finding mutually acceptable solutions, prevents open confrontation between the parties and helps not only to maintain normal relations between former opponents, but also to establish mutually beneficial cooperation between them.
You can also avoid conflict by avoiding direct contact with conflicting people, with those who irritate you in some way, with those whom you irritate. There are different types of so-called difficult people, communication with whom is fraught with conflicts. Here are some of these types:
1) aggressiveists - they bully others and become irritated if they are not listened to;
2) complainers - they always complain about something, but they themselves usually do nothing to solve the problem;
3) silent people - calm and laconic, but it is very difficult to find out what they are thinking about and what they want;
4) overly flexible - they agree with everyone and promise support, but such people’s words do not match their deeds;
5) eternal pessimists - they always foresee failures and believe that nothing will come of what they are planning;
6) know-it-alls - they consider themselves higher, smarter than others and demonstrate their superiority in every possible way;
7) indecisive – they hesitate to make a decision because they are afraid of making a mistake;
8) maximalists - they want something right now, even if it is not necessary;
9) hidden - they harbor grievances and unexpectedly attack their opponent;
10) innocent liars - mislead others with lies and deception;
11) false altruists - they supposedly do good, but “carry a stone in their bosom.”
If, due to certain circumstances, it is not possible to avoid communicating with difficult people, then an appropriate approach should be used in relationships with them. All these approaches, according to Jeanie Scott, are built on basic principles:
1. Realize that the person is difficult to communicate with and determine what type of person he is.
2. Do not fall under the influence of this person, his point of view, his attitude; remain calm and neutral.
3. If you do not want to avoid communicating with such a person, try to talk with him and identify the reasons for his difficulties.
4. Try to find a way to satisfy his hidden interests and needs.
5. Use a collaborative approach to resolving conflicts that arise after the difficult person's behavior has been categorized, neutralized, or controlled."
One of the methods of conflict prevention is self-distance from the conflict situation. In accordance with this method, you should avoid solving problems that do not affect your interests, and your participation in solving them is not conditional on anything. For example, someone is very irritated and emotionally agitated. You are trying to help this person with the best of intentions, although you were not asked to do so. As a result, you can get involved in someone else's conflict and become an object for a “volley release” of negative emotions.
If it was not possible to prevent an interpersonal conflict, then the problem of its settlement and resolution arises. One of the first steps in this direction is the fact of recognizing the contradictions that exist between individuals. There are times when one of the opponents has not yet fully realized the causes of problems. When both sides of the conflict are aware of the existence of contradictions, a frank conversation helps to more clearly define subject of dispute, outline boundaries of mutual claims, identify positions of the parties. All this opens up the next stage in the development of the conflict - the stage of a joint search for options for resolving it.
A joint search for a way out of a conflict situation also requires compliance with a number of conditions, for example:
Separate real reasons conflict from an incident - a formal reason for starting a clash;
Focus on existing problems rather than on personal emotions;
Act according to the “here and now” principle, i.e. solve problems that directly caused this conflict, without remembering other controversial events and facts;
Create an environment of equal participation in the search possible options conflict resolution;
Speak only for yourself; be able to listen and hear others;
Maintain a respectful attitude towards the opponent’s personality, talk about facts and events, and not about the qualities of a particular person;
Create a climate of mutual trust and cooperation.
If negative tendencies predominate in an interpersonal conflict (mutual hostility, grievances, suspicions, mistrust, hostile moods, etc.) and opponents cannot or do not want to engage in dialogue, then the so-called indirect methods resolving interpersonal conflict. Let's look at some of these methods.
1. Method« outlet for feelings" The opponent is given the opportunity to express everything that is painful to him, and thereby reduces the emotional and psychological tension provoked by the conflict. After this, the person is more predisposed to search for options for constructive resolution of the conflict situation.
2. Method« positive attitude towards the individual" The person in conflict, whether he is right or wrong, is always a sufferer. We must express our sympathies to him and give a positive description of his personal qualities: “You are an intelligent person, etc.” Seeking to justify positive assessment, addressed to him, the opponent will strive to find a constructive way to resolve the conflict.
3. Intervention method« authoritarian third" A person in an interpersonal conflict, as a rule, does not perceive the positive words expressed by his opponent towards him. A trusted “third party” can assist in such a matter. Thus, the conflicting person will know that his opponent does not have such a bad opinion of him, and this fact can be the beginning of a search for a compromise.
4. Reception« naked aggression" In a playful manner, in the presence of a third person, opponents are allowed to “talk out the painful issues.”
In such conditions, the quarrel, as a rule, does not reach extreme forms and the tension in the relations between the opponents decreases.
5. Reception« forced hearing of the opponent" Those in conflict are required to listen carefully to each other. Moreover, everyone, before answering their opponent, must reproduce his last remark with a certain accuracy. This is quite difficult to do, since those in conflict hear only themselves, attributing words and tone to the opponent that actually did not exist. The opponents' bias towards each other becomes obvious and the intensity of tension in their relationship subsides.
6. Exchange of positions. Those in conflict are encouraged to express their claims from the position of their opponent. This technique allows them to “go beyond” their personal grievances, goals and interests and better understand their opponent.
7. Expanding the spiritual horizon of those disputing. This is an attempt to take those in conflict beyond the subjective perception of the conflict and help them see the situation as a whole, with all possible consequences.
An important stage on the path to resolving a conflict is the readiness to resolve it. Such readiness appears as a result of a reassessment of values, when one or both conflicting parties begin to realize the futility of continuing the confrontation. During this period, changes occur in attitudes towards the situation, towards the opponent and towards oneself. The conflict attitude also changes.
“The mere willingness to resolve a problem,” according to Helena Cornelius and Shoshana Fair, “does not mean that you are wrong. This means that you have given up your attempts to prove the other side wrong: you are ready to forget the past and start over."
For successful resolution conflict ultimately requires both parties to be willing to resolve it. But if such a desire is demonstrated by at least one side, then this will give more opportunities to the other side for a reciprocal step. In an interpersonal conflict, people seem to be mutually bound by mutual grievances, claims, and other negative emotions. Taking the first step towards resolving a conflict is quite difficult: everyone believes that the other should give in. Therefore, the readiness to resolve the conflict shown by one of the parties can play a role decisive role in resolving the conflict in general.
From book Kindergarten and preparation for school author Biryukov ViktorTip 34 Conflicts lurk in kindergarten How to avoid them Conflict resolution is, frankly speaking, not a child's business. Here's an example. It happened somewhere in the early 1980s, i.e. in the USSR. My dad, who lives in a distant province, got hold of a squirrel fur coat in Moscow that cost as much as 80 rubles - crazy money for
From the book The Lifestyle We Choose author Förster Friedrich Wilhelm From the book Our Good Teenagers author Litvak NellyConflicts are our weakness Let's look at ourselves honestly and without hypocrisy. You don't have to have the cynicism of Kurt Vonnegut to recognize that humanity loves conflict. If we were treated poorly at work, if neighbors make noise behind the wall after midnight, if we are against all sorts of
From the book Mom and Baby. From birth to three years author Pankova Olga Yurievna From the book Jewish Children Love Their Mother author Rabinovich Slava From the book The most important book for parents (collection) author Gippenreiter Yulia Borisovna From the book How to Raise a Healthy and Smart Child. Your baby from A to Z author Shalaeva Galina PetrovnaConflicts Conflict arises when a person has two mutually exclusive desires. A weak desire often gives way to a stronger one. But sometimes the problem of choice can be very serious. A person often has to decide what is preferable at the moment. To kid
From the book Conflictology author Ovsyannikova Elena Alexandrovna4. Conflicts in various spheres of humanity
The Kid knows better from the book. Secrets of calm parents by Solomon Deborah4.2. Family conflicts The family is the oldest institution of human interaction, unique phenomenon. Its uniqueness lies in the fact that several people interact very closely over a long period of time, spanning decades, i.e.
From the book All the best methods of raising children in one book: Russian, Japanese, French, Jewish, Montessori and others author Team of authorsSeminar lesson 5 Topic: “Intrapersonal conflicts” Plan 1. Basic psychological concepts of intrapersonal conflict:? Z. Freud and his followers;? K. Levin;? A. Maslow;? V. Frank;? A. Leontyev.2. Definition and types of intrapersonal conflicts.3. Reasons and
From the author's bookSeminar lesson 7 Topic: “Family conflicts” Plan 1. The role of the family in the education and upbringing of children.2. Causes, typology and structure of family conflicts.3. Functions and consequences of conflict in the family.4. Basic ways to resolve family disputes
From the author's bookSeminar lesson 8 Topic: “Conflicts in the organization” Plan 1. Structure and functions of a modern organization.2. Classification of organizational conflicts.3. Prevention, resolution and management of conflicts in an organization. Literature (main)1. Antsupov A. Ya.
From the author's bookSeminar lesson 10 Topic: “Interethnic conflicts” Plan1. The concept of “ethnicity” in the sociological dimension.2. Sources of interethnic conflicts.3. War as one of the forms of interethnic conflict.4. The main ways to resolve interethnic conflicts
From the author's bookSeminar lesson 11 Topic: “Political conflicts” Plan 1. Concept and typology of political conflict.2. Political regime and socio-political contradictions in society.3. Problems of achieving social harmony in society. Literature (main)1. Aniskevich A.S.
From the author's bookConflicts between siblings It may take a child some time to understand that his little sister is not a doll to be squeezed tightly. You need to touch her gently and not hug her too tightly. It is the parents who must provide
From the author's bookDo not involve yourself in adult conflicts, do not break down. When children are present, relationships and actions of adults are not discussed; children are not criticized in the presence of other people or relatives. This is what the Yiddish mother thinks. Also, in front of children, they do not complain about others; they do not unite with the child against
The collision of individuals in the process of their interaction in conflictology is defined as interpersonal conflict. There are a number of reasons that lead to these contradictions between people: socio-psychological, personal and psychological. A prerequisite for their occurrence is any conflict situation.
In ordinary terms, any conflict carries an exclusively negative meaning, but this is a delusion. Emerging contradictions contribute to the development of man as an individual, as well as society as a whole. They unite like-minded people, help set priorities, and lead to new contacts with other people and groups. These are the positives that can be taken from the current situation.
They arise in all spheres of human life and activity (professional, family, household, etc.).
Let's look at some examples of interpersonal conflicts:
Conflict often occurs in the workplace between manager and subordinate or between two workers. Most often this happens when there are disagreements in the organization of the work process. For example, one employee did not complete part of the work that affects the success of the entire common business. In this case, the conflict situation will most likely affect not only the manager, but also the colleagues of the negligent employee. Sometimes a new employee does not accept the norms and principles of the existing team. In this case, there is also a high probability of conflict developing.
Interpersonal conflicts at work can arise when there is a change of leadership. They often arise due to a change in the style and method of managing a team. The “old” boss was more loyal in his demands, while the “new” boss was an adherent of a more authoritarian style. This disrupts the established relationship between employees and the manager. If you do not accept the new conditions dictated by your superiors, a conflict situation will certainly arise.
An example of interpersonal conflict is all kinds of marital strife. They can arise for any reason: how to spend a vacation, what TV to buy, what to cook for dinner, etc.
Conflicts are common in everyday life between representatives of different age generations. Each opponent staunchly defends his position (what music to listen to, how to dress, who to be friends with, etc.). These interpersonal conflicts are widely covered in world literature and are known as “father-son conflicts.”
An example of interpersonal conflict You can always find them, for example, on public transport. Someone stepped on his foot with a heel, someone leaned a bag on his head. Often in this case people become irritated and conflict.
Interpersonal conflicts arise constantly, but we should not forget that they also have positive functions.
Self-interest on the part of the current forces also cannot lead to success in this field. Conflict- there is a simultaneous deployment of action and counteraction. This is the realization of intentions and at the same time... united by a commonality of position. 3. Conflicts between associations (parties). 4. Intra- and inter-institutional conflicts. 5. Conflicts between sectors of the social division of labor. 6. Conflicts between state entities. 7. Conflict between cultures or types of cultures. ...
https://www.site/psychology/1379
For example, overstimulation or understimulation may interfere with development. They must, however, be distinguished from conflicts development - or a mismatch between external demands and children's desires that arise at the appropriate time (for example... desires (for example, the desire to please the mother and the desire for immediate defecation). Similar conflicting desires are prototypes of internal conflicts, which worsen as they develop; They are usually divided into those containing ambiva...
https://www.site/psychology/11770
Get out of a dubious situation with minimal losses. Do not communicate from a “pushing” position - try to talk about desires and requests Many conflicts begin with the question: “Why are you (moron, pig, lazy, mediocrity) doing this?” Tell me honestly - when you ask such questions... try to calmly explain everything to him. Never say “never” World wars grew from local ones conflicts. Quite often, serious family quarrels lead to divorce, “blowing up” from minor situations. Sometimes...
https://www.site/psychology/11177
Raise yourself, pull yourself up to the required (conflict-free) level, and also (silently) influence your partner who is asking for conflict, often without realizing it or realizing it. This same scheme is the essence of human spiritual evolution. ... his idle curiosity or selfish needs, but also sincerely strives towards them with good intentions. In case of conflict You should not “pull the blanket over yourself” by defending your “truth.” There is no need to become attached to her, realizing that...
https://www.site/religion/111255
With a coercive strategy consisting of a choice between the value of an item conflict and value interpersonal relationships. Unlike the fight strategy, the concession strategy gives priority to interpersonal relationships. When analyzing this strategy, it should be taken into account that: ... subjects of conflict interaction. Thus, the absence of unnecessary “battles” allowed employees in the above example maintain normal relations with each other; - the conditions of a compromise may be imaginary when the subjects...
https://www.site/psychology/13020
Or in relations between an individual and a group they turn out to be derivatives of this general position. Various types of conflicts between people: from interpersonal and family to social-class and interstate. Conflicts- essential part of our life. When two parties are in contact, no matter the reason for their interaction, there is always the possibility of...
https://www.site/psychology/1418
And data for its construction) and from trial, training activities in which communication skills. In the process of discussions, students come to understand that the main conditions that give rise to interpersonal tension and conflict, is actually aggressiveness (similarity of needs and limited opportunity their satisfaction (when the need of one interferes with the satisfaction of the needs of another), as well as egocentric and narrow group attitudes of the parties...
https://www.site/psychology/12242
People who can get carried away example- noble, low or indifferent. In general, Mikhailovsky’s characteristics of the crowd coincide with Le Bon’s characteristics. Important issues social psychology, including psychology interpersonal communication is considered in... habitual behavior leads to the fertilization of all work...". Scientific understanding of human behavior and their interpersonal communication is facilitated by the doctrine of attitudes of the Georgian psychologist Dmitry Uznadze (1886/87-1950), whose research...
There are five main interpersonal styles of conflict resolution:
Evasion. This style is characterized by implying that a person is trying to escape conflict. One of the ways to resolve a conflict is not to get into situations that provoke the emergence of contradictions, not to enter into a discussion of issues that are fraught with disagreement. Then you won’t have to get into an excited state, even if you are trying to solve a problem.
Smoothing. This style is characterized by behavior that is dictated by the belief that there is no point in getting angry because “we are all one happy team and we should not rock the boat.” The “smoother” tries not to let out signs of conflict and bitterness, appealing to the need for solidarity. Unfortunately, they completely forget about the problem underlying the conflict. You can extinguish the desire for conflict in another person by repeating: “This has no of great importance. Think about the good that has manifested itself here today.” The result may be peace, harmony and warmth, but the problem will remain. There is no longer any possibility of expressing emotions, but they live inside and accumulate. General anxiety becomes apparent, and the likelihood that an explosion will eventually occur increases.
Compulsion. Within this style, attempts to force people to accept their point of view at any cost prevail. The one who tries to do this is not interested in the opinions of others. A person using this style tends to be aggressive and usually uses power through coercion to influence others. The conflict can be taken under control by showing that you have the strongest power, suppressing your opponent, wresting a concession from him by right of superior. This coercive style can be effective in situations where the leader has significant power over subordinates.
The disadvantage of this style is that... that it suppresses the initiative of subordinates, creates a high probability that not all important factors will be taken into account, since only one point of view is presented. It can cause resentment, especially among younger and more educated staff.
Compromise. This style is characterized by accepting the other party's point of view, but only to some extent. The ability to compromise is highly valued in management situations, as it minimizes ill will and often allows conflict to be resolved quickly to the satisfaction of both parties. However, using a compromise at an early stage of a conflict that has arisen over an important decision can prevent the diagnosis of the problem and reduce the time it takes to find an alternative. Such a compromise means agreeing only to avoid a quarrel, even if this involves a failure to act prudently. This trade-off is one of being satisfied with what is available rather than persistently seeking what is logical in light of the available facts and data.
Solution to the problem. This style- recognition of differences of opinion and a willingness to engage with other points of view in order to understand the causes of the conflict and find a course of action acceptable to all parties. Anyone who uses this style does not try to achieve his goal at the expense of others, but rather seeks best option resolving a conflict situation. Differences in views are seen as an inevitable result of the fact that smart people have their own ideas about what is right and what is wrong. Emotions can only be eliminated through direct dialogues with a person different from your gaze.
Deep analysis and resolution of conflict is possible, only this requires maturity and the art of working with people... Such constructiveness in resolving conflict (by solving the problem) helps to create an atmosphere of sincerity, so necessary for the success of the individual and the company as a whole.
It is known from research that high-performing companies used a problem-solving style more than low-performing companies in conflict situations. In these high-performing organizations, leaders openly discussed their differences of opinion, without emphasizing the differences, but without pretending that they did not exist.
Some suggestions for using this style of conflict resolution:
2. Once the problem is identified, identify solutions that are acceptable to both parties.
3. Focus on the issue, not the other party's personal qualities.
4. Create an atmosphere of trust by increasing mutual influence and information exchange.
5. During communication, create a positive attitude towards each other by showing sympathy and listening to the other party's opinion, and minimizing the expression of anger and threats.
Example of a conflict situation
The staff includes both men and women, different ages. At the next meeting of the establishment's managers, it was decided to hire a second administrator of the hall into its staff. During the meeting, the current administrator was absent for some reason and was not aware of this decision. The next day, management began selection for new position, and reported this to the administrator. The latter's reaction was to act out a quarrel with the manager. His opinion contradicted the management's opinion about the need for a second vacant position.
The conflict has gone new round; Our staff began to complain about the unpleasant psychological atmosphere at work.
As a result of misunderstanding and conflict, the administrator resigned. Leaving behind the last word in the biased attitude of management towards him.
Let's start with:
The basis or basis for the above proposed conflict was that the management of the establishment was clearly not satisfied with the work of the existing administrator of the hall, and the current situation provoked a conflict that had previously been brewing between them.
The object of the conflict is the opinion of the administrator’s personal superiority and authority among the staff.
The subject of this conflict is the impossibility of reconciliation, since the conflict was already mature.
The parties to the conflict are management and subordinates.
The social position of the subjects is different social position.
The environment - a cafe, an entertainment establishment, a friendly staff, however, of course, there is also responsible work with staff, which requires high professionalism and qualifications.
A conflict incident is when the conflict becomes visible to the entire team.
The outcome of a conflict situation is the departure of the dissenting party and accusations of incompetence on the management.
In my opinion, in this situation it would be perfect better strategy cooperation aimed at constructive resolution of the conflict, that is, working with the problem, not the conflict. Employees should, firstly, recognize the conflict (emphasizing the common basis for interaction, which can be even one desire to find a way out of the current situation together), and secondly, putting aside emotions, openly discuss their interests and positions on this issue, and thirdly, find a joint solution to the problem and alternative paths way out of the conflict, transferring it into a peaceful, constructive channel.
Conclusion: I think the solution to the existing conflict is real, because At the initial stage of the conflict, management should have settled relations with the administrator. But since it missed this situation, a serious conflict occurred that affected everyone around.
Interpersonal conflict is one of the strongest stressors affecting the mental and physical health. At the same time, conflict is part Everyday life, and not necessarily bad part. Relationships with frequent conflicts may be more vibrant than those without visible conflicts. Conflicts arise at all levels of social interaction - at work, between friends, between family members and between loving people. The occurrence of conflict can weaken the relationship, or it can strengthen it. Thus, conflict can be called a critical event in the development of relationships. However, if conflict is resolved optimally, it can lead to greater understanding, respect and intimacy between people. The quality of relationships does not depend on the number of conflicts experienced, but on how these conflicts are resolved.
People often avoid conflict, and there can be many reasons for this. For example, they may fear that habitually suppressed feelings of anger may spiral out of control. Or they may feel insecure in their current relationship. Or they may not be able to express their views and feelings. Children who grow up in an environment of frequent destructive conflicts, growing up, avoid participating in any kind of confrontation, since they did not have an example before their eyes effective communication during conflicts.
Typically, people use several styles of behavior in conflict situations. The most common one is avoidance And negation the existence of a conflict. In this case, the conflict itself does not disappear anywhere, but continues to “hang” over the participants and create tension, thus increasing the conflict potential. An equally common style of behavior is anger And accusation- this style is resorted to when the conflict itself is mistakenly equated with the feeling of anger that it can cause. This style of behavior does not at all contribute to resolving the conflict, but, on the contrary, increases disagreements between the participants, strengthening the protective measures they take.
Another style of behavior is application strength And influence to win the conflict participants over to their side. Proponents of this approach enjoy engaging in conflict because it allows them to satisfy their need to compete with other people; however, the conflict itself is not resolved, since the losing side continues to resist, hiding and suppressing its feelings. Close to this style manipulation- when one participant in the conflict pretends to accept a compromise, while using the truce to manipulate other participants. This style of behavior in a conflict situation leads to a loss of trust between the parties and strengthening of conflict positions.
There are more constructive methods of conflict resolution.
Conflicts usually develop from small, insignificant issues to disputes and arguments that can jeopardize the relationship itself. Conflict situations with loved ones and friends, of course, are different from conflict situations with strangers who do not care about your feelings and needs. However, there are general principles, uniting all constructive ways to resolve conflicts.
The main one is that both parties to the conflict must see the conflict as a problem that requires a rational solution. It is the awareness of the conflict as such that will allow all participants to take part in finding a solution and subsequently feel satisfaction from its resolution. Each participant should make an effort to find the optimal solution that suits all stakeholders - a seemingly simple principle in theory, but difficult to implement in practice.
We can become so caught up in pursuing our own interests that we risk putting the relationship itself at risk. If we neglect the other person's interests, if we use fear and power to get what we want, if things always work out “our way,” then the other person will feel resentful and the relationship with them will suffer irreparably. Conversely, if we always give in to others to avoid conflict, we send the message that it is okay to act based on our own interests and ignore our opinions. As a result, self-esteem suffers, internal resistance increases, and we feel deceived. It is much better when both parties are open and honest in expressing their feelings and desires, and are also respectful of the feelings and desires of the other party. Mutual respect and trust, as well as a friendly attitude, are a necessary basis for good relationships.
Anticipating conflict
Most people don't seek out conflict. Most of us have a good understanding of other people's behavior to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. It is in our interests to maintain soft, flexible and mutually developing relationships. The problem arises when we stop engaging in constructive ways of interacting. We rarely consciously encourage conflict to arise; Most often we do this because we have little understanding of how our own behavior influences the emergence of interpersonal conflicts. There are days when everything falls out of hand in the morning; sometimes we forget something or get very irritated. At times we are so focused on our own feelings that we completely ignore the needs of other people. It is at this point that we find ourselves caught up in conflict.
To prevent conflict from arising, it is important to recognize our own role in causing misunderstandings. To do this, you need to remember the last conflict situation, your remarks in it and think about them, trying to find more best option phrases. Try to find language that could reduce tension and help establish a tone of trust. In the future, you need to try to apply the found options in practice and see how successful they are in preventing conflicts.
Using effective communication techniques to reduce conflict
Once you find yourself in a conflict situation, it is worth making an effort to soften and reduce the emotional intensity so that you can discuss your differences in a more meaningful way. calm state and perhaps find a compromise.
Stress Relief: Your opponent may be angry and armed with many compelling arguments proving he is right and why you should be blamed for all the troubles. Your job is to address the emotion of anger itself, and to do this you need to agree with what your opponent is saying. If you find some truth in his accusations and agree with them, it will be difficult for the person accusing you to remain angry. Yes, from your point of view, the accusations may be completely unfounded, but it is worth recognizing that there is always a grain of truth in what the other person says - if only because he sees the situation from the other side, which may not be visible to you. This does not mean that you should compromise your principles. We simply indicate that we recognize the right of another person to have their own point of view on this issue so that we can move on to the stage of finding a solution. This method is not easy to apply in a rapidly changing situation or with a hot-tempered opponent, but an indicator of a stronger and more integral personality is precisely the ability to restrain immediate reactions in order to achieve more important goals - in this case, conflict resolution.
Empathy: Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, to see the situation through their eyes. The first thing to do is to show your opponent that what he is trying to say is understood by other people. To express empathy, use paraphrased remarks from your opponent. For example, “I understand that you are saying that you can’t trust me like you used to.”
It is also worth trying to understand exactly how your opponent feels. At the same time, it is better not to attribute to others feelings that may not exist, for example, “You are confused by everything that has befallen you.” Instead, it is better to voice a more believable option, like “I think you must be very angry with me right now” - that is, voice your perception of how the other person is feeling.
Study: Ask about what the other person is feeling and thinking. Encourage others to express their feelings openly. For example, “Is there anything else you want to tell me?”
I-messages: Take responsibility only for your own motives and thoughts, expressing this in the form of special phrases called “I-messages”. For example, “I'm very upset about this disagreement” instead of “You made me very upset.” This form of expression removes the need to take a defensive position, which means it will relieve unnecessary tension.
Stroking: Say nice things about the other person, even if that person is angry with you. Be respectful. For example, “I sincerely respect you for having the courage to raise this problematic issue.”
A rational way to resolve conflicts
Here are a few steps to help resolve interpersonal conflicts constructively:
1) Define the problem. Discuss the issue from all sides - this way both you and your opponent will have a chance to express their point of view. Find the points that you both agree on, as well as the points that cause the most disagreement. It is important here not to interrupt and listen to what all parties to the conflict have to say, as well as to use I-messages and avoid direct accusations.
2) Come up with a few various solutions. Despite how unrealistic the ideas may be, try to use all the resources of your imagination.
3) Weigh the solutions found. Consider the options one by one, listing all the pros and cons until the list is reduced to 2-3 acceptable options. It is very important that each participant is honest and participates in the discussion. The solutions found will most likely not be ideal and will require some compromise.
4) Choose the best solution - that is, acceptable the largest number participants in the conflict. It may not completely satisfy everyone. But such an approach will be more fair, which means that all parties will be willing to adhere to this decision, and the conflict will be settled.
5) Bring it to life decision. Outline all the actions that each party must take to make the decision come true, as well as the actions that will need to be taken if the agreement begins to fall apart.
6) Don't stop thinking about your decision. Conflict resolution is more of a process than a one-time event, so ask yourself from time to time how things are going for each party. Unforeseen circumstances may arise or important points that were missed in the original discussion. The adopted agreement must be open to changes, but the need for these changes must be approved by all participants.