Pwhy do people die?

- “God did not create death and does not rejoice in the destruction of the living, for He created everything for existence” (Wis. 1:13-14). Death appeared as a result of the fall of the first people. “Righteousness is immortal, but unrighteousness causes death: the wicked attracted her with hands and words, considered her a friend and wasted away, and made a covenant with her, for they are worthy to be her lot” (Wis. 1:15-16).

To understand the issue of mortality, it is necessary to distinguish between spiritual and physical death. Spiritual death is the separation of the soul from God, Who for the soul is the Source of eternal joyful existence. This death is the most terrible consequence of the Fall of man. A person gets rid of it in Baptism.

Although physical death after Baptism remains in a person, it takes on a different meaning. From punishment, it becomes the door to heaven (for people who were not only baptized, but also lived in a manner pleasing to God) and it is already called the “dormition.”

What happens to the soul after death?

According to Church Tradition, based on the words of Christ, the souls of the righteous are treated by angels on the threshold of heaven, where they remain until Last Judgment, expecting eternal bliss: “The beggar died and was carried by the angels into Abraham’s bosom” (Luke 16:22). The souls of sinners fall into the hands of demons and are “in hell, in torment” (see Luke 16:23). The final division into the saved and the condemned will occur at the Last Judgment, when “many of those sleeping in the dust of the earth will awaken, some to eternal life, others to eternal reproach and shame” (Dan. 12:2). In the parable of the Last Judgment, Christ speaks in detail about the fact that sinners who did not do deeds of mercy will be condemned, and the righteous who did such deeds will be justified: “And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life” (Matthew 25). :46).

What do the 3rd, 9th, 40th days after the death of a person mean? What should you do these days?

Holy Tradition preaches to us from the words of holy ascetics of faith and piety about the mystery of testing the soul after its departure from the body. For the first two days, the soul of a deceased person remains on earth and, with the Angel accompanying it, walks through those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, good and evil deeds. This is how the soul spends the first two days, but on the third day the Lord, in the image of His three-day Resurrection, commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. On this day, the church commemoration of the soul of the deceased, who appeared before God, is timely.

Then the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. The soul remains in this state for six days - from the third to the ninth. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. The soul stands before the Throne of the Most High with fear and trembling. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the Merciful Judge to place the soul of the deceased with the saints.

After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of God. Now her fate is being decided - she is assigned a certain place, which she has been awarded due to her deeds. That's why it's so timely church prayers and commemorations on this day. They ask for forgiveness of sins and the inclusion of the soul of the deceased in paradise with the saints. On these days, the Church celebrates memorial services and litias.

The Church commemorates the deceased on the 3rd day after his death in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity. Commemoration on the 9th day is performed in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King and representatives to Him, petition for pardon for the deceased. The commemoration on the 40th day, according to the tradition of the apostles, is based on the forty-day cry of the Israelis about the death of Moses. In addition, it is known that the forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparing and receiving a special Divine gift, for receiving the gracious help of the Heavenly Father. Thus, the prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the Law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb after forty days. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering in the desert. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established the commemoration of the departed on the 40th day after their death, so that the soul of the deceased would ascend the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be rewarded with the sight of God, achieve the bliss promised to it and settle in the heavenly villages with the righteous.

On all these days, it is very important to order the commemoration of the deceased in the Church, submitting notes for commemoration at the Liturgy and memorial service.

What soul does not go through ordeals after death?

From Sacred Tradition it is known that even Mother of God Having received notification from the Archangel Gabriel about the approaching hour of Her relocation to heaven, prostrating herself before the Lord, she humbly begged Him, so that, at the hour of the departure of Her soul, She would not see the prince of darkness and hellish monsters, but that the Lord Himself would accept Her soul into His Divine embrace. It is all the more useful for the sinful human race to think not about who does not go through ordeals, but about how to go through them, and do everything to cleanse the conscience and correct life according to the commandments of God. “The essence of everything: fear God and keep His commandments, because this is everything for man; For God will bring every work into judgment, even every secret thing, whether it is good or evil” (Eccl. 12:13-14).

What concept of heaven should you have?

Heaven is not so much a place as it is a state of mind; just as hell is suffering stemming from the inability to love and non-participation in the Divine light, so heaven is the bliss of the soul stemming from the excess of love and light, to which the one who has united with Christ fully and completely participates. This is not contradicted by the fact that heaven is described as a place with various “abodes” and “chambers”; all descriptions of paradise are only attempts to express in human language that which is inexpressible and surpasses the human mind.

In the Bible, "paradise" is the garden where God placed man; The same word in the ancient church tradition was used to describe the future bliss of people redeemed and saved by Christ. It is also called the “Kingdom of Heaven,” “the life of the age to come,” “the eighth day,” “the new heaven,” “the heavenly Jerusalem.” The Holy Apostle John the Theologian says: “I saw a new heaven and new land, for the former heaven and the former earth have passed away, and the sea is no more. And I, John, saw the holy city Jerusalem, new, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven, saying: Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them; they will be His people, and God Himself with them will be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death; There will be no more crying, no crying, no pain, for the former things have passed away. And He who sat on the throne said: Behold, I am creating all things new... I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end; to the thirsty I will give freely from the fountain of living water... And the angel lifted me up in the spirit to great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, holy Jerusalem, which came down from heaven from God. It has the glory of God... But I did not see a temple in it, for the Lord God Almighty is its temple, and the Lamb. And the city has no need of either the sun or the moon for its illumination; for the glory of God has illuminated it, and its lamp is the Lamb. The saved nations will walk in its light...And nothing unclean will enter into it, nor anyone who practices abomination and lies, but only those who are written in the Lamb’s book of life” (Rev. 21:1-6,10,22-24,27 ). This is the earliest description of heaven in Christian literature.

When reading descriptions of paradise found in theological literature, it is necessary to keep in mind that many Church Fathers talk about the paradise that they saw, into which they were caught up by the power of the Holy Spirit. In all descriptions of paradise, it is emphasized that earthly words can only to a small extent depict heavenly beauty, since it is “inexpressible” and surpasses human comprehension. It also speaks of the “many mansions” of paradise (John 14:2), that is, of different degrees of bliss. “God will honor some with great honors, others with less,” says St. Basil the Great, “because “star differs from star in glory” (1 Cor. 15:41). And since the Father “has many mansions,” He will rest some in a more excellent and higher state, and others in a lower state.” However, for everyone, his “abode” will be the highest fullness of bliss available to him - in accordance with how close he is to God in earthly life. “All the saints who are in paradise will see and know one another, and Christ will see and fill everyone,” says St. Simeon the New Theologian.

What concept should you have of hell?

There is no person deprived of the love of God, and there is no place that is not involved in this love; however, everyone who has made a choice in favor of evil voluntarily deprives himself of God's mercy. Love, which for the righteous in heaven is a source of bliss and consolation, for sinners in hell becomes a source of torment, since they recognize themselves as not participating in love. According to Saint Isaac, “the torment of Gehenna is repentance.”

According to the teachings of St. Simeon the New Theologian, main reason the torment of a person in hell is an acute feeling of separation from God: “None of the people who believe in You, Master,” writes the Monk Simeon, “none of those who were baptized in your name will not endure this great and terrible burden of separation from You, Merciful One, because this is a terrible sorrow, unbearable, terrible and eternal sadness.” If on earth, says the Monk Simeon, those who are not involved in God have bodily pleasures, then there, outside the body, they will experience one incessant torment. And all the images of hellish torment that exist in world literature - fire, cold, thirst, red-hot ovens, lakes of fire, etc. - are only symbols of suffering, which comes from the fact that a person feels not involved in God.

For Orthodox Christian the thought of hell and eternal torment is inextricably linked with the mystery that is revealed in worship Holy Week and Easter - the mystery of Christ's descent into hell and the deliverance of those there from the dominion of evil and death. The Church believes that after His death, Christ descended into the abysses of hell in order to abolish hell and death, to destroy the terrible kingdom of the devil. Just as by entering the waters of the Jordan at the moment of His Baptism, Christ sanctifies these waters, filled with human sin, so by descending into hell, He illuminates it with the light of His presence to the last depths and limits, so that hell can no longer tolerate the power of God and perishes. Saint John Chrysostom in the Easter Catechetical Sermon says: “Hell was upset when it met You; he was grieved because he was abolished; he was upset because he was ridiculed; he was grieved because he was killed; I was upset because I was deposed.” This does not mean that hell no longer exists at all after the Resurrection of Christ: it exists, but the death sentence has already been passed on it.

Every Sunday, Orthodox Christians hear hymns dedicated to the victory of Christ over death: “The council of angels was surprised, in vain you were imputed to the dead, but the mortal fortress, O Savior, was destroyed... and freed all from hell” (from hell, who freed everyone). Deliverance from hell, however, should not be understood as some kind of magical action performed by Christ against the will of man: for one who consciously rejects Christ and eternal life, hell continues to exist as suffering and the torment of abandonment by God.

How to cope with grief at death loved one?

The grief of separation from the deceased can be satisfied only by prayer for him. Christianity does not perceive death as the end. Death is the beginning of a new life, and earthly life is only a preparation for it. Man was created for eternity; in paradise he fed from the “tree of life” (Gen. 2:9) and was immortal. But after the Fall, the path to the tree of life was blocked and man became mortal and corruptible.

But life does not end with death, the death of the body is not the death of the soul, the soul is immortal. Therefore, it is necessary to see off the soul of the deceased with prayer. “Do not give up your heart to sorrow; move her away from you, remembering the end. Do not forget this, for there is no return; and you will not bring him any benefit, but will harm yourself... With the repose of the deceased, soothe the memory of him, and take comfort in him after the outcome of his soul” (Sir. 38:20-21,23).

What should you do if, after the death of a loved one, you are tormented by your conscience about the wrong attitude towards him during life?

The voice of conscience denouncing guilt subsides and ceases after sincere heartfelt repentance and confession to God to the priest of one’s sinfulness towards the deceased. It is important to remember that with God everyone is alive and the commandment of love also applies to the dead. The deceased are in great need prayer help living and alms given for them. A person who loves will pray, give alms, submit church notes for the repose of the departed, strive to live in a manner pleasing to God, so that God will show His mercy for them.

If you constantly remain in active concern for others and do good to them, then not only peace will be established in your soul, but deep satisfaction and joy.

What to do if you dream of a dead person?

You don't need to pay attention to dreams. However, we should not forget that the eternally living soul of the deceased experiences a great need for constant prayer for it, because it itself can no longer do good deeds with which it would be able to appease God. Therefore, prayer in church and at home for deceased loved ones is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.

How many days do people mourn for the deceased?

There is a tradition of mourning for forty days for a deceased loved one. According to the Tradition of the Church, on the fortieth day the soul of the deceased receives a certain place in which it will remain until the time of the Last Judgment of God. That is why, until the fortieth day, intense prayer is required for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, and the external wearing of mourning is intended to promote internal concentration and attention to prayer, and to prevent active involvement in previous everyday affairs. But you can have a prayerful attitude without wearing black clothes. The internal is more important than the external.

Who is the newly deceased and ever-memorable?

In church tradition, a deceased person is called newly deceased within forty days after death. The day of death is considered first, even if death occurred a few minutes before midnight. On the 40th day of the Church, God (at the private judgment of the soul) determines its afterlife fate until the general Last Judgment prophetically promised by the Savior (see Matt. 25:31-46).

A person is usually called eternally remembered after forty days after his death. Ever-memorable - the word “ever-memorable” means always. And the ever-memorable one is always remembered, that is, the one for whom they always remember and pray. In funeral notes, they sometimes write “of everlasting memory” before the name when the next anniversary of the death of the deceased(s) is celebrated.

How is the last kiss of the deceased performed? Do I need to be baptized at the same time?

The farewell kiss of the deceased occurs after his funeral service in the temple. They kiss the aureole placed on the forehead of the deceased, or apply it to the icon in his hands. At the same time, they are baptized on the icon.

What to do with the icon that was in the hands of the deceased during the funeral service?

After the funeral service for the deceased, the icon can be taken home or left in the church.

What can be done for the deceased if he was buried without a funeral service?

If he was baptized in the Orthodox Church, then you need to come to the church and order an absentee funeral service, as well as order magpies, memorial services and pray for him at home.

How to help the deceased?

It is possible to alleviate the fate of the deceased if you create for him frequent prayers and give alms. It is good to work for the Church in memory of the deceased, for example, in a monastery.

Why is the remembrance of the dead performed?

Prayer for those who have passed from temporary life to eternal life is ancient tradition Church, sanctified by centuries. Leaving the body, a person leaves the visible world, but he does not leave the Church, but remains its member, and it is the duty of those remaining on earth to pray for him. The Church believes that prayer eases a person’s posthumous fate. While a person is alive, he is able to repent of sins and do good. But after death this possibility disappears, only hope remains in the prayers of the living. After the death of the body and private judgment, the soul is on the threshold of eternal bliss or eternal torment. It depends on how the short earthly life was lived. But much depends on prayer for the deceased. The lives of the holy saints of God contain many examples of how, through the prayer of the righteous, the posthumous fate of sinners was eased - right up to their complete justification.

Is it possible to cremate the deceased?

Cremation is a custom alien to Orthodoxy, borrowed from Eastern cults and spread as the norm in a secular (non-religious) society during the Soviet period. Therefore, the relatives of the deceased, if possible to avoid cremation, should prefer burying the deceased in the ground. There is no prohibition in the sacred books to burn the bodies of the dead, but there are positive indications from Christian doctrine of another way of burying bodies - this is burying them in the earth (see: Gen. 3:19; John 5:28; Matt. 27:59-60). This method of burial, accepted by the Church from the very beginning of its existence and sanctified by it with a special rite, stands in connection with the entire Christian worldview and with its very essence - the belief in the resurrection of the dead. According to the strength of this faith, burial in the ground is an image of the temporary euthanization of the deceased, for whom the grave in the bowels of the earth is a natural bed of repose and who is therefore called by the Church the deceased (and in worldly terms, the deceased) until the resurrection. And if the burial of the bodies of the dead instills and strengthens the Christian faith in the resurrection, then the burning of the dead is easily related to the anti-Christian doctrine of non-existence.

The Gospel describes the burial order of the Lord Jesus Christ, which consisted of washing His Most Pure Body, dressing in special funeral clothes and placing in the grave (Matthew 27:59-60; Mark 15:46; 16:1; Luke 23:53 ; 24:1; John 19:39-42). The same actions are supposed to be performed on deceased Christians in the present time.

Cremation may be permissible in exceptional cases when there is no way to bury the body of the deceased.

Is it true that on the 40th day, the commemoration of the deceased must be ordered in three churches at once, or in one, but three services in succession?

Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie from the Church. This is a daily intensified commemoration of the newly deceased during the first forty days - until the private trial, which determines the fate of the soul beyond the grave. After forty days, it is good to order an annual commemoration and then renew it every year. You can also order longer-term commemorations in monasteries. There is a pious custom - to order commemoration in several monasteries and churches (their number does not matter). The more prayer books there are for the deceased, the better.

What is eve?

Kanun (or eve) is a special square or rectangular table on which there is a Cross with a Crucifix and holes for candles. Before the eve there are funeral services. Here you can light candles and put food to commemorate the dead.

Why do you need to bring food to the temple?

Believers bring various foods to the temple so that the ministers of the Church will remember the deceased at a meal. These offerings serve as donations, alms for those who have passed away. In former times, in the courtyard of the house where the deceased was, on the most significant days for the soul (3rd, 9th, 40th) funeral tables were set, at which the poor, homeless, and orphans were fed, so that there would be many people praying for the deceased. For prayer and, especially for alms, many sins are forgiven, and the afterlife is made easier. Then these memorial tables began to be placed in churches on the days of the universal remembrance of all Christians who have died since centuries with the same purpose - to remember the departed.

What foods can you put on the eve?

The products can be anything. It is prohibited to bring meat food into the temple.

Which commemoration of the dead is the most important?

Prayers at the Liturgy have special power. The Church prays for all the departed, including those in hell. One of the kneeling prayers read on the feast of Pentecost contains a petition “for those kept in hell” and for the Lord to rest them “in a brighter place.” The Church believes that through the prayers of the living, God can alleviate the afterlife fate of the dead, saving them from torment and worthy of salvation with the saints.

Therefore, it is necessary, in the coming days after the death, to order a magpie in the church, that is, a commemoration at forty Liturgies: the Bloodless Sacrifice is offered forty times for the deceased, a particle is taken from the prosphora and immersed in the Blood of Christ with a prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of the newly deceased. This is a feat of love from the entirety of the Orthodox Church in the person of the priest who celebrates the Liturgy for the sake of the people commemorated at the proskomedia. This is the most necessary thing that can be done for the soul of the deceased.

What is Parents' Saturday?

On certain Saturdays of the year, the Church commemorates all previously deceased Christians. The memorial services that take place on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called Ecumenical Parental Saturdays. On the morning of Parents' Saturdays, during the Liturgy, all previously deceased Christians are remembered. On the eve of parental Saturday, on Friday evening, parastas is served (translated from Greek as “presence”, “intercession”, “intercession”) - the continuation of the great requiem for all deceased Orthodox Christians.

When are Parents' Saturdays?

Almost all parental Saturdays do not have a fixed date, but are associated with the moving day of Easter celebration. Meat Saturday occurs eight days before the start of Lent. Parents' Saturdays occur on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Lent. Trinity Parental Saturday - on the eve of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension. On the Saturday preceding the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica (November 8, new style) there is Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday.

Is it possible to pray for repose after parental Saturday?

Yes, you can and should pray for the repose of the deceased even after parental Saturdays. This is the duty of the living to the dead and an expression of love for them. The deceased themselves can no longer help themselves, they cannot bear the fruits of repentance or give alms. This is evidenced by the Gospel parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31). Death is not a departure into oblivion, but the continuation of the existence of the soul in eternity, with all its characteristics, weaknesses and passions. Therefore, the deceased (except for the saints glorified by the Church) need prayerful commemoration.

Saturdays (except Holy Saturday, Saturday on Bright Week and Saturdays coinciding with the twelve, great and temple holidays), in church calendar By tradition, they are considered days of special remembrance of the dead. But you can pray for the departed and submit notes in the church on any day of the year, even when, according to the charter of the Church, no memorial services are served; in this case, the names of the deceased are remembered at the altar.

What other days of remembrance of the dead are there?

Radonitsa - nine days after Easter, on Tuesday after Bright Week. On Radonitsa they share the joy of the Resurrection of the Lord with the deceased, expressing hope for their resurrection. The Savior Himself descended into hell to preach victory over death and brought from there the souls of the Old Testament righteous. Because of this great spiritual joy, the day of this commemoration is called “Rainbow”, or “Radonitsa”.

Special commemoration of all those who died during the Great Patriotic War of 1941-1945. established by the Church on May 9. Warriors killed on the battlefield are also remembered on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist on September 11, according to the new style.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on the anniversary of the death of a close relative?

The main days of remembrance of the deceased are the anniversaries of death and namesake. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased, relatives close to him pray for him, thereby expressing the belief that the day of a person’s death is not a day of destruction, but of a new birth for eternal life; the day of the transition of the immortal human soul to other conditions of life, where there is no longer any place for earthly illnesses, sorrows and sighs.

On this day it is good to visit the cemetery, but first you should come to the church at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration at the altar (better if it is commemorated at a proskomedia), at a memorial service and, if possible, pray during the service.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on Easter, Trinity, and Holy Spirit Day?

Sunday and holidays should be spent in prayer in the temple of God, and for visiting the cemetery there are special days commemoration of the deceased - parental Saturdays, Radonitsa, as well as anniversaries of death and namesake days of the deceased.

What to do when visiting a cemetery?

Arriving at the cemetery, you need to clean up the grave. You can light a candle. If possible, invite a priest to perform the litia. If this is not possible, then you can read the short rite of the lithium yourself, having first purchased the corresponding brochure in a church or Orthodox store. If you wish, you can read an akathist about the repose of the departed. Just be silent, remember the deceased.

Is it possible to have a “wake” in a cemetery?

Apart from the kutia consecrated in the temple, you should not eat or drink anything in the cemetery. It is especially unacceptable to pour vodka into a grave mound - this insults the memory of the deceased. The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by the Orthodox. There is no need to leave food on the grave - it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry.

What should you eat at a “wake”?

According to tradition, after the burial, a funeral table is assembled. The funeral meal is a continuation of the service and prayer for the deceased. The funeral meal begins with eating the kutia brought from the temple. Kutia or kolivo is boiled grains of wheat or rice with honey. Also traditionally they eat pancakes and sweet jelly. On a fast day, food should be lean. The funeral meal should be distinguished from a noisy feast by reverent silence and kind words about the deceased.

Unfortunately, the bad custom of remembering the deceased with vodka and a hearty snack has taken root. The same thing is repeated on the ninth and fortieth days. This is wrong, since the newly departed soul these days craves special fervent prayer for her to God and certainly not drinking wine.

Is it possible to place a photograph of the deceased on a grave cross?

A cemetery is a special place where the bodies of those who have passed on to another life are buried. Visible evidence of this is the tombstone cross, which is erected as a sign of the redemptive victory of the Lord Jesus Christ over death. Just as the Savior of the world was resurrected, having accepted death for people on the cross, so all the dead will be resurrected physically. People come to the cemetery to pray for them in this place of rest for the dead. A photograph on a grave cross often encourages reminiscence rather than prayer.

With the adoption of Christianity in Rus', the deceased were placed either in stone sarcophagi, with a cross depicted on the lid, or in the ground. A cross was placed on the grave. After 1917, when the destruction of Orthodox traditions became systematic, columns with photographs began to be placed on graves instead of crosses. Sometimes monuments were erected and a portrait of the deceased was attached to them. After the war, monuments with a star and a photograph began to predominate as a headstone. In the last decade and a half, crosses have increasingly begun to appear in cemeteries. The practice of placing photographs on crosses has been preserved from past Soviet decades.

Is it possible to take a dog with you when visiting a cemetery?

Of course, you shouldn’t take your dog to the cemetery for walking. But if necessary, for example, a guide dog for a blind person or for the purpose of protection when visiting a remote cemetery, you can take it with you. The dog should not be allowed to run over the graves.

If a person died on Bright Week (from the day of Holy Easter to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then the Easter Canon is read. Instead of the Psalter, on Bright Week the Acts of the Holy Apostles are read.

Is it necessary to serve a memorial service for a baby?

Dead babies are buried and memorial services are served for them, but in prayers they do not ask for forgiveness of sins, since babies do not consciously commit sins, but they ask the Lord to vouchsafe them the Kingdom of Heaven.

Is it possible to perform a funeral service in absentia for someone who died during the war if the place of his burial is unknown?

If the deceased was baptized, then the funeral service can be performed in absentia, and the one received after funeral service in absentia Sprinkle the earth in a cross pattern on any grave in an Orthodox cemetery.

The tradition of performing a funeral service in absentia appeared in the 20th century in Russia due to the large number of those killed in the war, and since it was often impossible to perform a funeral service over the body of the deceased due to the lack of churches and priests, due to the persecution of the Church and persecution of believers. There are also cases of tragic death when it is impossible to find the body of the deceased. In such cases, a funeral service in absentia is permissible.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for an unburied deceased?

Funeral services can be ordered if the deceased was baptized Orthodox person and not one of the suicides. The Church does not commemorate the unbaptized and suicides.

If it becomes known that the buried person was not buried according to the Orthodox rite, then he must be buried in absentia. During the funeral service, in contrast to the requiem service, the priest reads a special prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased.

It is important not only to “order” a memorial service and funeral service, but for the relatives and friends of the deceased to take part in them prayerfully.

Is it possible to perform a funeral service for a suicide and pray for his repose at home and in church?

In exceptional cases, after consideration of all the circumstances of suicide by the ruling bishop of the diocese, an absentee funeral service may be blessed. To do this, relevant documents and a written petition are submitted to the ruling bishop, where, with special responsibility for one’s words, all known circumstances and reasons for suicide are indicated. All cases are considered individually. When the bishop allows the funeral service in absentia, the temple prayer for repose becomes possible.

In all cases, for the prayerful consolation of the relatives and friends of a person who has committed suicide, a special prayer rite has been developed, which can be performed whenever the relatives of a person who has committed suicide turn to the priest for consolation in the grief that has befallen them.

In addition to performing this rite, relatives and friends can, with the blessing of the priest, read prayer at home venerable elder Leo of Optina: “Seek, O Lord, the lost soul of Thy servant (name): if it is possible, have mercy. Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not make this my prayer a sin, but Thy holy will be done” and give alms.

Is it true that suicides are commemorated on Radonitsa? What to do if, believing this, they regularly submitted notes to the temple commemorating suicides?

No, that's not true. If a person, out of ignorance, submitted notes to commemorate suicides (the funeral service of which was not blessed by the ruling bishop), then he must repent of this in confession and not do this again. All doubtful questions should be resolved with the priest, and not believe rumors.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased if he is Catholic?

Private, cell (home) prayer for a heterodox deceased is not prohibited - you can remember him at home, read psalms at the grave. In churches, funeral services are not performed or commemorated for those who never belonged to the Orthodox Church: non-Christians and all those who died unbaptized. The funeral service and requiem service were compiled taking into account the fact that the deceased and the funeral service were a faithful member of the Orthodox Church.

Is it possible to submit notes in church about the remembrance of the deceased who have not been baptized?

Liturgical prayer is prayer for the children of the Church. In the Orthodox Church, it is not customary to remember unbaptized Christians, as well as non-Orthodox Christians, at proskomedia (the preparatory part of the Liturgy). This, however, does not mean that you cannot pray for them at all. Cell (home) prayer for such deceased is possible. Christians believe that prayer can provide great help to the dead. True Orthodoxy breathes the spirit of love, mercy and condescension towards all people, including those outside the Orthodox Church.

The Church cannot remember the unbaptized for the reason that they lived and died outside the Church - they were not its members, were not reborn to a new, spiritual life in the Sacrament of Baptism, did not confess the Lord Jesus Christ and cannot be involved in the benefits that He promised to those who love Him.

For the relief of the fate of the souls of the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism, and of infants who died in the womb or during childbirth, Orthodox Christians pray at home and read the canon to the holy martyr Uar, who has the grace from God to intercede for the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism. From the life of the holy martyr Uar, it is known that through his intercession he delivered from eternal torment the relatives of the pious Cleopatra, who revered him, who were pagans.

They say that those who die on Bright Week receive the Kingdom of Heaven. Is it so?

The posthumous fate of the dead is known only to the Lord. “Just as you do not know the way of the wind and how the bones are formed in the womb of a pregnant woman, so you cannot know the work of God, who does all things” (Eccl. 11:5). Anyone who lived piously, did good deeds, wore a cross, repented, confessed and received communion - by the grace of God, he can be granted a blessed life in eternity, regardless of the time of death. And if a person spent his entire life in sins, did not confess or receive communion, but died on Bright Week, can it be said that he inherited the Kingdom of Heaven?

If a person died in whole week before Peter's Fast, does this mean anything?

Doesn't mean anything. The Lord ends the earthly life of each person in due time, providentially caring for each soul.

“Do not hasten death by the errors of your life, and do not attract destruction to yourself by the works of your hands” (Wis. 1:12). “Do not indulge in sin, and do not be foolish: why should you die at the wrong time?” (Eccl. 7:17).

Is it possible to get married in the year of your mother's death?

There is no special rule in this regard. Let your religious and moral feeling itself tell you what to do. For all significant life issues you need to consult a priest.

Why is it necessary to receive communion on the days of remembrance of relatives: on the ninth, fortieth days after death?

There is no such rule. But it will be good if the relatives of the deceased get ready and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, having repented, including of sins related to the deceased, forgive him all insults and ask for forgiveness themselves.

Is it necessary to cover the mirror if one of your relatives dies?

Hanging mirrors in the house is a superstition, and has nothing to do with church traditions of burying the dead. Is it necessary to cover a mirror if one of your relatives has died?

The custom of hanging mirrors in a house where a death has occurred partly stems from the belief that whoever sees his own reflection in the mirror of this house will also soon die. There are many “mirror” superstitions, some of them are associated with fortune telling on mirrors. And where there is magic and witchcraft, fear and superstition inevitably appear. Whether a mirror is hung or not has no effect on life expectancy, which depends entirely on the Lord.

There is a belief that before the fortieth day nothing of the deceased’s belongings should be given away. Is this true?

You need to plead for the defendant before the trial, not after it. Therefore, it is necessary to intercede for the soul of the deceased immediately after his death until the fortieth day and after it: pray and perform acts of mercy, distribute the things of the deceased, donate to the monastery, to the church. Before the Last Judgment, you can change the afterlife fate of the deceased through intense prayer for him and alms.

Whether it is possible to remember later the date of death and celebrate the anniversary with a delay, relatives of the deceased person are often interested. The clergy say it is possible. It is optimal to remember relatives in the exact date elapsed since the date of death. On an anniversary, it is always necessary to remember the dead, since at this time the immortal soul is reborn for eternal life. God gives life and he takes it away.

A person born into the world has his own mission and his own destiny. But life cannot go on forever. Everything comes to an end someday.

The Orthodox faith says a lot about burial rites and memorial customs. During the commemoration, people pay tribute to loved ones and relatives who have passed into the other world of the Kingdom of Heaven. With the help of Prayer, they ask God for the soul to rest and go to heaven.

IN modern world people have moved away from the church and do not observe customs, because of this questions often arise about proper organization funeral and wake.

A funeral service is a ceremony in which the memory of deceased relatives and friends should be honored.

The anniversary of death should always be accompanied by a wake. They are necessary to alleviate the suffering of the deceased, forgive sins and ease the path to afterworld. The commemoration of the dead must necessarily be accompanied by a prayer so that the one who has left the earthly abode will find eternal peace. The clergy in the church and loved ones at home pray for them. For God, everyone is one, both in heaven and on earth.

Rules for holding memorial days

The organization of the memorial day must be thought out in advance, and try to spend it in a calm and leisurely atmosphere. the main objective of this date - to remember with the kind words of the deceased person, to honor his memory, to gather people whom the deceased would be very glad to see during his lifetime. Remember all the good things that are associated with him. To alleviate mental suffering, you are allowed to watch a video, photo album, remembering happy and cheerful moments of life.

In carrying out memorial days exist certain rules, but people do it differently. Many people go to the cemetery (you should not take food or alcoholic drinks with you), clean up the grave, bring flowers, light candles, and have funeral dinners. Others distribute clothes left over from the deceased, donate money to the church, and treat friends with sweets and cookies.

In order to, it is necessary:

• in the first half of daylight hours of the day of death of the deceased, visit the cemetery;
• order at church funeral prayer and help people in need;
• light a candle for the repose of the soul;
• gather loved ones and remember the deceased at the funeral table.

After death, funeral services are organized several times:

1. On the day when a loved one left this world, or the next.
2. On the third day, when the soul of the deceased ascends to heaven. During this period they are usually buried.
3. On the ninth day from the time of death.
4. For forty days.
5. 6 months from the date of death, and then every year.

At a wake, as a rule, all the close friends and relatives of the deceased gather. You can come to the wake of the ninth day without an invitation. It is prohibited to refuse people who wish to take part in the commemoration. Do not forget that the main thing is not the set table, but the prayer for the deceased. Before starting the meal, you must read the “Our Father.”

Is it possible to make a funeral service before the date of death? The clergy do not advise organizing a memorial ceremony in advance; it is especially not recommended to celebrate the fortieth day earlier.

It is not advisable to remember a deceased person on his date of birth.

These relatives seem to give his soul no peace. You can remember in thoughts and prayers, but not at the refectory table

What not to do at a wake:

• It is not allowed to start conversations on abstract topics at a wake;
• drink strong alcoholic drinks;
• Under no circumstances should you speak badly about the deceased, shout, make trouble, or loudly express your emotions.

Postponement of the funeral ceremony

We are all human, and it often happens that celebrating a funeral on a certain day is inconvenient or impossible: work, health conditions and other reasons do not allow a funeral ceremony. Therefore, this begs the question: is it permissible to postpone the date of the funeral? How to do them more correctly - earlier or too late of death?

A meal on the anniversary of death is not at all a mandatory observance of tradition. We must proceed from objective reasons and build on the current situation.

• during Holy Easter;
• for Holy Week during Lent.

These days, all people’s thoughts should be directed to the great sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and on Easter all believers should rejoice at the news of the resurrection. It would be reasonable to move the commemoration to Radonitsa - this is the day of remembrance of all the dead. On Christmas Eve, it is better to celebrate the memorial day on the eighth, it will be good sign birth into eternal life. There is a custom after Easter to leave Easter cake and colored eggs on the windowsill so that souls will find their home, eat, and return to heaven on Sunday.

At the same time, we cannot help but remember that for our deceased relatives and loved ones, prayer for them is important.

To do this, you need to order a liturgy for the repose of the soul of the deceased. The main thing on the day of death is to pray, and you can gather people around the table on the day off after the anniversary of the death.

Every religion has its own traditions of remembrance

All religions of peoples have specially designated days for commemorating those who have passed on to another world. When for some reason it is not possible to remember loved ones on the anniversary of death, then this can be done on memorial days. In every religious direction dates don't match:

1. Radonitsa is a day of remembrance for Orthodox believers. It is celebrated on Tuesday in the second week after Easter. In addition to this day, there are 5 more similar dates.
2. Catholics celebrate All Souls' Day on November 2. The third, seventh and thirtieth days after death are considered optional.
3. Doesn't exist in Islam certain days. It is important that close relatives pray for the deceased, remembering with kind words. People should do good deeds at this time. Caring for orphans and helping people in need is approved. One rule must be observed - no one should know in whose name good deeds are done.
4. The festival of Ulambana falls on the seventh month from the first to the fifteenth day of the Lunar calendar. These days, Buddhists remember all the dead.

In our country, for a long time, the memory of those who died in Radonitsa has been revered. Radonitskaya week begins with Krasnaya Gorka on Sunday and continues on Monday and Tuesday. It is believed that the souls of the departed visit the earth from Maundy Thursday until Radonitskaya Week, and on Tuesday they return to their permanent abode, therefore Tuesday is considered the most successful day for seeing off those who have gone to another world.

Everyone knows that the dead must be remembered and not forgotten. There is a connection between deceased and living people, but not everyone feels it the same way. Why do people who have recently lost a loved one often have dreams about them? Sometimes they even feel his presence and can mentally talk to him. Usually in such cases it is recommended to remember the deceased, visit the grave, go to church, pray, and do good deeds and deeds. It may not always be possible to hold a memorial ceremony on time, but you can always leave a note to the priest, and he will read a prayer for the repose of the soul, so that the Lord will grant the deceased the Kingdom of Heaven.

Death is the beginning of a new life, and earthly life is only a preparation for it.

On what days are the dead remembered? Is it possible to perform funeral services for suicides? How to pray for deceased parents? Archpriest Igor FOMIN answered the most common questions about how to properly remember the dead.

What prayer should we use to remember the dead? How often do we remember the dead?

Christians remember their dead every day. In every prayer book you can find a prayer for the departed; it is an integral part of home prayer rule. You can also remember the departed by reading the Psalter. Every day Christians read one kathisma from the Psalter. And in one of the chapters we remember our relatives (relatives), friends who have gone to the Lord.

Why remember the dead?

The fact is that life continues after death. Moreover, the final fate of a person is decided not after death, but at the second coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, which we are all waiting for. Therefore, before the second coming we can still change this fate. When we are alive, we can do this ourselves by doing good deeds and believing in Christ. Having died, we can no longer influence our own afterlife, but this can be done by people who remember us and have heart problems. The best way to change the posthumous fate of the deceased is a prayer for him.

When are the dead remembered? On what days are the dead commemorated? At what time of day can you remember?

The time of day when one can remember the deceased is not regulated by the Church. Eat folk traditions, which go back to paganism and clearly prescribe how and at what hour to remember the dead - but they have nothing to do with Christian prayer. God lives in space without time, and we can reach heaven at any moment of the day or night.
The Church has established special days of remembrance of those who are dear to us and have passed on to another world - the so-called Parents' Saturdays. There are several of them a year, and all but one (May 9 - Commemoration of Deceased Warriors) have a moving date:
Meat Saturday (Ecumenical Parental Saturday) March 5, 2016.
Saturday of the 2nd week of Lent, March 26, 2016.
Saturday of the 3rd week of Lent, April 2, 2016.
Saturday of the 4th week of Lent, April 9, 2016.
Radonitsa May 10, 2016
May 9 - Commemoration of deceased soldiers
Trinity Saturday (Saturday before the holiday of Trinity). June 18, 2016.
Saturday Dimitrievskaya (Saturday before the day of memory of Dmitry Solunsky, which is celebrated on November 8). November 5, 2016.
In addition to Parental Saturdays, the deceased are remembered in church at every service - at proskomedia, part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it. Before the Liturgy, you can submit notes “of remembrance.” The note contains the name with which the person was baptized, in the genitive case.

How do you remember for 9 days? How do you remember for 40 days? How to remember for six months? How to remember for a year?

The ninth and fortieth days from the day of death are special milestones on the path from earthly life to eternal life. This transition does not occur immediately, but gradually. During this period (until the fortieth day), the deceased person gives an answer to the Lord. This moment is extremely important for the deceased; it is akin to childbirth, the birth of a little person. Therefore, during this period the deceased needs our help. Through prayer, good deeds, changing oneself in better side in honor and memory of someone close to us.
For six months, such a church commemoration does not exist. But there will be nothing bad if you remember it for six months, for example, by coming to the temple to pray.
An anniversary is a day of remembrance when we - those who loved a person - come together. The Lord commanded us: Where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them (Matthew 18:20). And joint remembrance, when we read a prayer for relatives and friends who are no longer with us, is a bright, resounding testimony to the Lord that the dead are not forgotten, that they are loved.

Should I remember on my birthday?

Yes, I believe that a person should be remembered on his birthday. The moment of birth is one of the significant, great stages in everyone’s life, so it will be good if you go to church, pray at home, go to the cemetery to remember the person.

Is it possible to perform funeral services for suicides? How to remember suicides?

The question of funeral services and church commemoration of suicides is very controversial. The fact is that the sin of suicide is one of the gravest. This is a sign of a person's distrust of God.
Each such case must be considered separately, because there are different types of suicides - conscious or unconscious, that is, in a state of severe mental disorder. The question of whether it is possible to have a funeral service and commemorate a baptized person who committed suicide in a church rests entirely with the responsibility of the ruling bishop. If a tragedy happened to one of your loved ones, you need to come to the ruling bishop of the region where the deceased lived and ask permission for a funeral service. The bishop will consider this question and give you an answer.
As for home prayer, you can certainly remember a person who committed suicide. But the most important thing is to do good deeds in his honor and memory.

What can you remember? Can you remember it with vodka? Why are they remembered with pancakes?

Trizny, funeral meals, came to us from time immemorial. But in ancient times they looked different. This was a treat, a feast not for the relatives of the deceased, but for the poor, crippled, orphans, that is, those who need help and would never be able to arrange such a meal for themselves.
Unfortunately, over time, the feast turned from a matter of mercy into an ordinary home feast, often with copious amounts of alcohol...
Of course, such libations have nothing to do with real Christian commemoration and cannot in any way influence the posthumous fate of the deceased.

How to remember an unbaptized person?

A person who did not want to unite himself with the Church of Christ, naturally, cannot be commemorated in church. His posthumous fate remains at the discretion of the Lord, and we cannot influence the situation here in any way.
Unbaptized relatives can be remembered by praying for them at home and doing good deeds in their honor and memory. Try to change your life for the better, be faithful to Christ, remembering all the good things that the one who died unbaptized did during his life.

How are Muslims remembered? How are Jews remembered? How are Catholics remembered?

In this matter it makes no difference whether the deceased was a Muslim, a Catholic or a Jew. They are not in the bosom of the Orthodox Church, therefore they are remembered as unbaptized. Their names cannot be written in notes for the proskomedia (the proskomedia is part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it), but in their memory you can do good deeds and pray at home.

How to remember the dead in church?

In the temple, all those dead who united themselves with the Church of Christ in the Sacrament of Baptism are remembered. Even if a person for some reason did not go to church during his life, but was baptized, he can and should be remembered. Before the Divine Liturgy, you can submit a note “for proskomedia.”
Proskomedia is the part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it. At the proskomedia, bread and wine are prepared for the future Sacrament of Communion - the transfusion of bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ. On it, not only the future Body of Christ (the Lamb is a large prosphora) and the future Blood of Christ for the Sacrament (wine) are prepared, but also a prayer is read for Christians - living or dead. For the Mother of God, the saints and us, ordinary believers, particles are taken out from the prosphora. Pay attention when they give you a small prosphora after Communion - it’s as if “someone picked out a piece” from it. It is the priest who takes out particles from the prosphoras for each name written in the note “for proskomedia.”
At the end of the Liturgy, pieces of bread, symbolizing the souls of living or dead Christians, are immersed in a chalice with the Blood of Christ. The priest at this moment reads the prayer “Wash away, Lord, the sins of those remembered here by Thy Blood through the honest prayers of Thy saints.”
Also in churches there are special memorial services - requiems. You can submit a separate note for the memorial service. But it is important not only to submit a note, but also to try to be personally present at the service where it will be read. You can find out about the time of this service from the temple servants, to whom a note is given.

How to remember the dead at home?

In every prayer book you can find a prayer for the departed; it is an integral part of the home prayer rule. You can also remember the departed by reading the Psalter. Every day Christians read one kathisma from the Psalter. And in one of the chapters we remember our relatives (relatives), friends who have gone to the Lord.

How to commemorate during Lent?

During Lent, there are special days of remembrance of the dead - Parental Saturdays and Sunday, when full (as opposed to shortened on other days of Lent) Divine Liturgies are served. During these services, a proskomedia commemoration of the dead is performed, when for each person a piece is taken out of a large prosphora, symbolizing his soul.

How to remember the newly deceased?

From the first day of a person’s repose, the Psalter is read over his body. If the deceased is a priest, then the Gospel is read. The Psalter must continue to be read even after the funeral - until the fortieth day.
The newly deceased is also remembered at the funeral service. The funeral service is supposed to take place on the third day after death, and it is important that it is carried out not in absentia, but over the body of the deceased. The fact is that all those who loved the person come to the funeral service, and their prayer is special, conciliar.
You can also remember the newly deceased with a sacrifice. For example, distribute his good, high-quality things to those in need - clothes, household items. This can be done from the first day after a person’s death.

When should you remember your parents?

There are no special days in the Church when we need to remember our parents, those who gave us life. Parents can always be remembered. And on Parents’ Saturdays in church, and every day at home, and by submitting notes “for proskomedia.” You can turn to the Lord at any day and hour, He will definitely hear you.

How to remember animals?

It is not customary to remember animals in Christianity. The teaching of the Church says that eternal life is prepared only for man, since only man has the soul for which we pray.

There are no uniform rules on how to conduct a funeral 3 years after death, traditions in different families have their own characteristics. The custom of remembering the dead is very ancient. It originated back in the days when people worshiped ancestral and tribal spirits - the first ancestors. Then all the deceased were considered patrons and protectors of the family. Funeral rites were influenced by cultural, national and religious characteristics different nations and generations. However, respectful attitude towards deceased relatives has survived to this day. It is still customary to remember the deceased on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day. A memorial service is then held annually on the day of the relative's death.

Who to invite to the third anniversary

It is believed that for three years after death one must last time invite to the funeral service all relatives and friends of the deceased who care about the memory of the deceased. In all subsequent years, the relative is commemorated in a narrow family circle. If the deceased has no relatives left, then close friends remember him.

In some families, on the third anniversary, 12 closest relatives gather at the funeral table, similar to the 12 apostles who were present at the last meal of Jesus Christ. However, the memorial tradition itself is of pagan, not ecclesiastical origin. In ancient times, food and drink were left at the grave of the deceased, and lavish feasts were held at home. Relatives and friends of the deceased not only ate, but also competed in prowess, sang and danced.

The Church believes that it is best to remember the deceased in church or at home in front of icons.

At the same time, church canons do not prohibit a funeral feast and do not limit the number of guests who are invited to the funeral. Any person who cared about the deceased can remember him and honor his memory in the third year.

If guests come to funerals and fortieth anniversaries without an invitation, then on the third anniversary not everyone is welcome. The family of the deceased decides how to conduct the funeral and who to invite. The third anniversary is an event for those closest to you. At the funeral table you can gather only those you want to see. It is advisable to find out in advance who exactly can come. If an unwanted visitor comes to the funeral, the relatives have the right not to allow him to attend the funeral meal.

It is not recommended to invite too many people. The wake should not turn into a noisy party. The atmosphere at the funeral feast should be quiet and intimate. In the circle of loved ones who cherish the memory of the deceased, they have quiet conversations. It is customary to share memories of the deceased, emphasize his dignity and be sad about his death. We need to thank the deceased for all the good things he left behind. IN big company it will be difficult for guests to hear each other.

How to organize an event

The feast can be made both at home and in a cafe. When decorating a room, the family should be guided by their tastes and preferences of the deceased. You can create an atmosphere that was dear to him by filling the room with his favorite objects. Funeral ribbons, artificial flowers and candles will indicate the memorial nature of the event.

It is necessary to choose in advance an institution where such events are held.

When agreeing to rent a hall, you must inform about the nature of the event.

It is inappropriate to hold a wake in a restaurant next to noisy, partying companies. Therefore, you need to rent either the entire premises or a part of it, isolated from other visitors.

When choosing a room for a funeral, you should pay attention to the interior. You should not order a wake for 3 years in halls decorated in a youth or festive style. It is advisable to give preference to rooms with a classic or antique interior without frills.

At a wake, quiet music can be played that does not force the interlocutors to raise their voices. It is better to use a melody that the deceased liked, choosing one suitable for the funeral event. It is appropriate to listen to songs that he performed himself after the death of a person.

To pay tribute to the deceased, a photograph of him is placed near the memorial table. The custom of putting a glass of water or vodka and a piece of bread has pagan roots. It is up to the organizers of the event to decide whether to adhere to it or not. It is not customary to condemn relatives for using certain traditions. You cannot drink water or vodka intended for the deceased, just like eating his bread. The food is taken to the cemetery and the drink is poured on the grave.

The most respectable and oldest members of the family speak first.

After the first speech, guests remember the deceased with a minute of silence. Believers can say the “Our Father” prayer at this time. Then the floor is passed on to other guests according to seniority. Young guests must wait their turn. It is advisable for each of the guests to make a speech about the deceased.

Table setting

When choosing dishes for a funeral dinner, you need to be guided by the preferences of the deceased. An obligatory element of the table is the funeral kutia. It is prepared from rice, barley or wheat. Ritual porridge symbolizes the Kingdom of Heaven, into which the deceased enters after death. Also served at the wake are the first course, pies with potatoes and cabbage, pancakes, jelly or compote. The most common main course is chicken and noodle soup. However, if the deceased preferred another dish, you can prepare that too. Pies are eaten during the meal, and are also distributed to guests before they leave.

You should not order gourmet dishes, trying to surprise your guests.

Is not festive feast. Food should be as simple and modest as possible. Cooking mashed potatoes, sliced ​​meat, cabbage rolls, meat casserole, cutlets and 2-3 salads. Since the symbol of Christianity is fish, fish pies, aspic, fried or stewed fish are placed on the funeral table. The range of dishes should be modest.

You can put wine or vodka on the table. However, the amount of alcoholic drinks should be kept to a minimum. Guests should not be allowed to become heavily intoxicated. Portions of alcohol should be symbolic. Sweet and sparkling alcoholic drinks are not placed on the funeral table.

If the wake took place on a church holiday or fast, then you need to take this into account and prepare suitable dishes. During strict fasting meat dishes replaced with mushrooms, beans, lentils.

Before starting the meal, believers should read the 90th Psalm or “Our Father.” If there are atheists among the guests, then they should respect the feelings of believers.

The only requirement is an even number of cutlery on the table.

If the wake is held at home, then the place where the deceased most often sat is not occupied.

It is believed that the soul of the deceased is present at the wake and takes its usual place. The food left over after the meal is given to those in need.

Using knives and forks

There is a widespread belief that there should be no sharp objects(knives and forks). Until the end of the 17th century, the fork was considered a smaller copy of the devil's fork. Many believers still believe that a demonic symbol at a wake can cause harm to the deceased in the afterlife.

Knife and fork are not used so as not to “pok into the kutya”. People believe that sharp cutlery can be used to “prick” the symbol of the Kingdom of Heaven - kutya. This will disturb the soul of the deceased and cause him pain.

The Church does not consider the use of forks and knives at funerals a sin. The decision on table setting should be made by the relatives of the deceased. However, they should listen to the opinions of other guests and take into account their beliefs.

Visit to the church and cemetery

To order a commemoration during the Divine Liturgy for the deceased, you must come to the temple early in the morning before the start of the service. The note must indicate full name deceased. It is advisable to stay in the church until the end of the morning service, after which you need to take a prosphora. It should be eaten at home and on an empty stomach. After visiting the temple, it is recommended to give alms. Money, cookies and candy are distributed to those in need, colleagues, neighbors and children. At the same time they ask to pray for the deceased.

If it is not possible to visit church, then you can pray at home.

They light a candle or lamp in front of the icon and turn to the Lord with a prayer for the deceased. After three years from the date of death, the following prayer is read:

- God, merciful Lord, remembering the third anniversary of the death of Your servant (name), we ask You to honor him (her) with a place in Your Kingdom, grant blessed peace and lead him into the radiance of Your glory. Lord, look mercifully on our prayers for the soul of Your servant (name), whose anniversary of death we remember. We ask You to number him (her) among the host of Your saints, grant forgiveness of sins and eternal peace. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

According to tradition, on Memorial Day you must go to the cemetery before 12 noon. It is believed that in the morning hours the soul of the deceased is at the place of his burial.

It is advisable to visit the grave in advance to put it in order.

Before the third anniversary, you need to not only clean up the area, but also plant a tree (birch, thuja, rowan, willow, viburnum or spruce), shrubs (boxwood, lilac), perennial flowers (peonies, irises) on it and erect a new fence or monument.

On the day of the third anniversary, fresh flowers are brought to the grave and a lamp is lit. In many families, it is customary to bring food and drinks to the grave. The best pieces are left at the grave along with the drink. In addition, food that remains uneaten is left at the cemetery. You cannot take anything with you. It is believed that birds and animals will come and eat food “for the sake of the soul.” Some believe that the dead are reincarnated as them when they visit their grave.

What's the best way to dress for a funeral?

Guests invited to the funeral may visit the cemetery and church with the family of the deceased. If you are planning a trip to the grave, you must wear comfortable clothes and low-heeled shoes. Must be taken into account weather. It is advisable to take warm clothes, an umbrella and a hat with you. If guests are cold or wet at the cemetery, then the wake will be a mess. When planning to go to church, women should take a scarf and a long skirt with them.

It is not necessary to wear black clothes to a wake.

You need to choose a formal suit in neutral shades without unnecessary decorations. Outfits with a neckline, short skirt, bows or ruffles are not allowed. Inappropriate to wear open shoes, tracksuits, shorts and T-shirts, even if the weather is hot on the day of the funeral.

Is it possible to reschedule the funeral date?

Funerals 3 years after death, the traditions of which are not too complicated, also stipulate that you need to pray for the deceased on the day of his death. If it is not possible to make a commemoration on the day of the third anniversary, then you need to order a commemoration in the temple in advance and read the prayer at home.

It is better to organize memorial events after the anniversary in the coming weekend. Before the day of death it is not recommended. It is believed that before this date the deceased was alive and enjoying life, so it is impossible to remember him.

It is necessary to postpone the funeral if the day of death coincides with the day of the week of Holy Easter or holy week Great Lent. During this period, all the thoughts of believers should be directed towards joy from the news of the resurrection of Jesus Christ or to sadness in connection with his crucifixion. It is best to arrange a commemoration on Radonitsa - the day of remembrance of the dead. Radonitsa is called Tuesday of the second week after Easter.

It is also undesirable to hold a wake if the date of death fell on Christmas Eve.

It is better to postpone the event to January 8. In this case, the wake will be dedicated to the fact of birth into eternal life.

Many people do not know whether it is necessary to hold a memorial service 3 years after the date of death. Funeral traditions are voluntary. If your family doesn’t need them, then you don’t have to adhere to them. However, a properly conducted wake helps loved ones come to terms with the separation.

Grief can befall every family. The anniversary of death is one of the mourning dates that you just need to get over. These days, all relatives remember the deceased with kind words, express their condolences, and share their experiences. As a rule, the anniversary of the death of a loved one is celebrated in a small, narrow family circle. Many people ask questions: how to remember the deceased correctly, what dishes to prepare for the table, what prayers to know and what to put in the church. Let's try to understand all these points from the point of view of Christian morality, which prevails over other religions. We'll start with a little historical background.

History of the Wake

Commemoration and meals on the occasion of the anniversary of the death of close relatives began from the time of the advent of Christianity in Rus'. The wake itself or remembrance is a mourning ritual during which they remember the deceased and honor his memory. Essentially, every religion has a funeral and memorial ritual. We will talk about Christian beliefs solely because this religion is the most widespread in Russia. However, according to Orthodox teachings, you can only remember baptized people. Orthodox Church does not pray or remember suicides, unbaptized people, and all non-Orthodox and apostates. Christians commemorate all the dead in 3 stages: on the third day after death, on the ninth and fortieth days. The basis is a funeral lunch. During this ceremony, relatives, friends and acquaintances remember with kind words the deceased, his good deeds and deeds. On the day of the funeral, everyone can come to the cemetery, as well as sit at the funeral table. IN mandatory the body of the deceased is taken to church or the funeral service is held at home. And for 9 days only close people are invited to the funeral table. Be sure to place a photograph of the deceased next to it, pour a glass of water and add salt and bread. It should be noted that they began to do this far before the adoption of Christianity in Rus'; in fact, this pagan tradition, which has taken root to this day.

On the fortieth day after death, everyone can be invited, including those relatives and friends who could not come to the funeral. The meal turns out to be big. The same thing happens on the anniversary of death, when relatives and friends are called.

Christian traditions

We are used to celebrating Funerals on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day. But why does this happen? What does this say? Orthodox faith? On the third day we commemorate the deceased in honor of the Resurrection of Christ, who ascended to heaven just on the third day after the crucifixion. The ninth day came to us from Orthodox tradition honor the angels who ask the Lord for remembrance for dead soul. The fortieth day is revered by Orthodox Christians in honor of the Ascension of Christ. It was before this period that it was generally accepted that the soul was in wanderings, looking for God. And this solution occurs precisely on the 40th day. It is then that the main thing happens - they determine the place of the soul before the Last Judgment. And here it begins new life from the anniversary after death.

Organization of the Funeral

On your death anniversary, you need to be well prepared. You need to notify in advance all people whom you consider important to see on funeral wake. As a rule, these are the closest people: relatives, friends, work colleagues. You need to decide exactly how many servings to set the table for. It is better to cook or order more food and give the leftovers to the poor and needy.

The first thing to do on the anniversary of death is to visit the grave of the deceased and lay flowers, you can light a lamp and read the funeral prayer. So, in order to properly organize a memorial anniversary, you will need:

• Invite all relatives of the deceased in advance;
• Determine the location of the funeral. This can be done at home or in a cafe;
• Go to church to order all the necessary church rituals;
• Visit the cemetery in the morning, lay flowers and read the funeral prayer;
• Help the poor.

Perhaps the main thing in all this is a sincere prayer for the soul of the deceased, which will help to find peace in the next world. Of course, it’s better to order at the church Divine Liturgy and be present at it, together with other parishioners, ascend with words of grief and respect for the soul of the deceased.

What should you order at the temple?

Without prayer, the soul of the deceased will remain in suffering. That is why they order the Liturgy and early in the morning they order a mass for the repose of the soul. To do this, you need to come to the temple before the service begins. Afterwards they eat the prosphora and commemorate the deceased. Some people order Sorokoust for the year and without fail light a candle for the repose of their soul. In addition, you can always read funeral prayers.

Funeral dinner

Many people are interested in the following questions:

• What dishes are best to prepare for the anniversary of death;
• What devices are needed;
• The order of serving dishes;
• What and how to say;
• How to behave properly at the table during a funeral event.

The main thing here is to know for sure whether this day falls on church holiday or fasting. If this happens, you need to adhere to church canons and prepare Lenten food. If a day on the Christian calendar allows you to eat meat dishes, then they can also be included in the funeral menu. Christian dogma says:

Just before sitting down at the table, the older adult man reads a prayer and thanks the deceased for all the good things. Lunch should start with kutia, which you need to eat 3 spoons. Please note that the only cutlery on the table is spoons. It’s better to cook kutya from grain. This is also a pagan tradition, symbolizing the Sunday of the soul.

Each housewife selects dishes for the funeral table according to her own taste. It is better that these are modest, lean dishes, without any special frills, and the food that the deceased loved most. Most often it is borscht or noodles for the first course, potatoes with meat, boiled and Fried fish, cabbage salads, cabbage rolls, etc. They cook a lot of compote, uzvar, and serve sweet drinks for children.

The number of dishes on the funeral table is not essential. After all, the main thing is not the decoration of the table, but the memory of the deceased, kind words and thoughts. After all, every person with whom fate brings us together teaches us something in one way or another. On a separate table you must place a photograph of the deceased with a black ribbon, a glass of water, salt and a piece of bread. From this day on, the soul of the deceased passes into the Kingdom of Heaven.

Behavior rules

On this day you need to dress in dark clothes, women cover their heads with black scarves, men wear jackets and suits. You should not speak loudly; at the table after prayer you can make a speech of gratitude, remember the kindness of the deceased, and recall some interesting incident from his life.

Don't start loud conversations or make trouble. This is why it is better not to drink alcohol. Give preference to Cahors or weak dry wines. If someone present is intoxicated, it is better to quietly take him out of the refectory or politely ask him to leave.

At the end of the day, it would not be a bad idea to give food from the table to the sick and poor. By such actions you will do good not only for the departed soul, but also for yourself. It’s never too late to become merciful and kind!

Postponement of anniversary

Sometimes, for various reasons, it happens that the anniversary of a death needs to be postponed. Is it possible to celebrate a day of mourning in advance? Your Orthodox priest will definitely be able to answer this question, to whom you will tell about the reason for the transfer and will be able to consult. It happens that the date falls on some major Orthodox holiday. In this case, you can postpone the funeral date by several days.