Marriage is a Sacrament in which, with the bride and groom freely promising mutual marital fidelity before the priest and the Church, their marital union is blessed, in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church, and they ask for the grace of pure unanimity for the blessed birth and Christian upbringing of children. Marriage itself is a great sacred thing. It becomes a saving path for a person with the right attitude towards it. Marriage is the beginning of a family, and the family is the small church of Christ.
What is the purpose of Christian marriage? Is it just the birth of children?
Embodying the original will of the Lord for creation, the marital union blessed by Him became a means of continuing and multiplying the human race: “And God blessed them, and God said to them: be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it” (Gen. 1:28). But having children is not the only purpose of marriage. The difference between the sexes is a special gift of the Creator to the people He created. “And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27). Being equally bearers of the image of God and human dignity, man and woman are created for integral unity with each other in love: “For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife; and the two will become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).
Therefore, for Christians, marriage has become not just a means of procreation, but, in the words of St. John Chrysostom, “the sacrament of love,” the eternal unity of spouses with each other in Christ.
The Christian family is called " small church“, for the unity of people in marriage is similar to the unity of people in the Church, the “big family” - it is unity in love. In order to love, a person must reject his egoism and learn to live for the sake of another person. This goal is served by Christian marriage, in which spouses overcome their sinfulness and natural limitations.
There is another purpose for marriage - protection from debauchery and preservation of chastity. “To avoid fornication, each one have his own wife, and each one have his own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2). “If they cannot abstain, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to be inflamed” (1 Cor. 7:9).
Is it necessary to get married?
If both spouses are believers, baptized and Orthodox, then the wedding is necessary and obligatory, since during this Sacrament the husband and wife receive a special grace that sanctifies their marriage. Marriage in the Sacrament of Wedding is filled with the grace of God for the creation of the family as a domestic church. A lasting house can only be built on a foundation of which the Lord Jesus Christ is the cornerstone. In a Christian marriage, God's grace becomes the foundation on which the building is built happy life families.
Participation in the Sacrament of Marriage, as in all other Sacraments, must be conscious and voluntary. The most important motivation for a wedding should be the desire of the husband and wife to live in a Christian, evangelical manner; This is why God’s help is given in the Sacrament. If there is no such desire, but you decide to get married “according to tradition,” or because it is “beautiful,” or so that “the family will be stronger” and “no matter what happens,” so that the husband does not go on a spree, the wife does not fall out of love, or because For similar reasons, this is wrong. Before getting married, it is advisable to approach the priest for an explanation of the meaning of marriage, the necessity and importance of a wedding.
When does a wedding not take place?
Weddings are prohibited during all four multi-day fasts; during Cheese Week (Maslenitsa); on Bright (Easter) Week; from the Nativity of Christ (January 7) to Epiphany (January 19); on the eve of the twelve holidays; on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the year; September 10, 11, 26 and 27 (in connection with strict fasting for the Beheading of John the Baptist and the Exaltation of the Holy Cross); on the eve of patronal church days (each church has its own).
The days on which weddings are permitted are marked in the Orthodox calendar.
Sacrament of wedding rules and preparation
What is required to get married?
The marriage must be registered in the registry office. It is necessary to find out in advance at the church about the requirements that apply to those wishing to enter into a church marriage. In many churches, an interview is held before the wedding.
Those approaching such an important Sacrament, following the pious tradition, try to prepare themselves for participation in it, cleansing themselves through Confession, Communion and prayer.
Usually for a wedding you need to have wedding rings, icons, white towel, candles and witnesses. Everything is clarified more specifically in a conversation with the priest who will perform the wedding.
How to sign up for a wedding?
It would be more correct not just to “sign up” for the Wedding, but first of all to learn about how to prepare for it. For this it is good to talk to a priest. If the priest sees that those who wish to enter into a church marriage are already ready for this, then they can “sign up”, that is, agree on a specific time for the celebration of the Sacrament.
How to properly confess and receive communion before the wedding?
Preparation for Confession and Communion before the wedding is the same as at any other time.
Is it necessary to have witnesses at a wedding?
Traditionally, a married couple has witnesses. Witnesses were especially needed during that historical period when church marriage had the status of an official state act. Currently, the absence of witnesses is not an obstacle to a wedding; you can get married without them.
Is it possible to get married after the birth of a child?
It is possible, but not earlier than 40 days after birth.
Is it possible for someone who has been married for a long time to get married?
It is possible and necessary. Those couples who get married in adulthood usually take their wedding more seriously than young people. The pomp and solemnity of a wedding is replaced by reverence and awe before the greatness of marriage.
Why should a wife submit to her husband?
- “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church” (Eph. 5:22-23).
All people have the same human dignity. Both men and women alike are bearers of the image of God. Fundamental equality of dignity of the sexes does not abolish their natural differences and does not mean the identity of their vocations both in the family and in society. One should not misinterpret the words of the Apostle Paul about the special responsibility of the husband, who is called to be the “head of the wife,” loving her as Christ loves His Church, as well as about the call of the wife to submit to her husband, as the Church submits to Christ (Eph. 5:22-23; Col. 3:18). In these words we're talking about, of course, not about the despotism of the husband or the enslavement of the wife, but about primacy in responsibility, care and love; We should also not forget that all Christians are called to mutual “submission to one another in the fear of God” (Eph. 5:21). Therefore, “neither is husband without wife, nor wife without husband, in the Lord. For as the wife is from the husband, so is the husband through the wife; yet it is from God” (1 Cor. 11:11-12).
By creating man as a man and a woman, the Lord creates a hierarchically structured family - the wife is created as a helper to her husband: “And the Lord God said: It is not good for man to be alone; Let us make him a helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18). “For man is not from woman, but woman is from man; and man was not created for the wife, but the woman for the man” (Cor. 11:8-9).
The family as a home church is a single organism, each of whose members has its own purpose and ministry. The Apostle Paul, speaking about the structure of the Church, explains: “The body is not made of one member, but of many. If the leg says: I do not belong to the body because I am not a hand, then does it really not belong to the body? And if the ear says: I do not belong to the body, because I am not an eye, then does it really not belong to the body? If the whole body is eyes, then where is the hearing? If everything is hearing, then where is the sense of smell? But God arranged the members, each one within the body, as He pleased. And if everyone had one member, where would the body be? But now there are many members, but one body. The eye cannot tell the hand: I don’t need you; or also head to feet: I don’t need you. On the contrary, the members of the body that seem weakest are much more necessary, and those that seem to us less noble in the body, we take more care of; and our unseemly ones are covered more plausibly, but our good-looking ones have no need for it. But God proportioned the body, instilling greater care for the less perfect, so that there would be no division in the body, but all members would equally care for each other” (1 Cor. 12:14-25). All of the above also applies to the “small church” - the family.
The headship of the husband is an advantage among equals, just as in the Holy Trinity among equal Persons, unity of command belongs to God the Father.
Therefore, the husband’s service as the head of the family is expressed, for example, in the fact that in the most important issues for the family, he makes decisions on behalf of the entire family, and also bears responsibility for the entire family. But it is not at all necessary that the husband, when making a decision, does it alone. It is impossible for one person to be an expert in all areas. And a wise ruler is not one who can decide everything himself, but one who has wise advisers in every area. Likewise, a wife may be better versed in some family issues (for example, in matters of relationships between children) than her husband, then the wife’s advice becomes simply necessary.
Does the Church allow second marriage?
However, after confirmation by the diocesan authorities of the canonical grounds for divorce, such as adultery and others recognized by the Russian Orthodox Church as legitimate, a second marriage is permitted to the innocent spouse. Persons whose first marriage broke up and was dissolved through their fault are allowed to enter into a second marriage only on condition of repentance and fulfillment of penance imposed in accordance with the canonical rules. In those exceptional cases when a third marriage is allowed, the period of penance, according to the rules of St. Basil the Great, is increased.
In its attitude towards second marriage, the Orthodox Church is guided by the words of the Apostle Paul: “Are you united to your wife? don't look for a divorce. Are you left without a wife? don't look for a wife. However, even if you get married, you will not sin; and if a girl marries, she will not sin... A wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives; if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:27-28, 39).
Can persons over 50 years of age enter into a church marriage?
Church marriage law sets the highest limit for marriage. St. Basil the Great specifies the limit for widows - 60 years, for men - 70 years (rules 24 and 88). Holy Synod on the basis of instructions given by Patriarch Adrian (+ 1700), he prohibited persons over the age of 80 from entering into marriage. Persons aged 60 to 80 years old must seek permission from the bishop (Archpriest Vladislav Tsypin) to get married.
(25 votes: 4.24 out of 5)Then the Epistle to the Ephesians of the Holy Apostle Paul (), where the marriage union is likened to the union of Christ and the Church, for which the Savior who loved her gave Himself, is read. The love of a husband for his wife is a similarity to the love of Christ for the Church, and the lovingly humble submission of a wife to her husband is a similarity to the relationship of the Church to Christ. This is mutual love to the point of selflessness, a willingness to sacrifice oneself in the image of Christ, who gave Himself to be crucified for sinful people, and in the image true followers of Him, through suffering and martyrdom who confirmed their loyalty and love to the Lord.
The last saying of the apostle: let the wife fear her husband - calls not for the fear of the weak before the strong, not for the fear of the slave in relation to the master, but for the fear of making him sad loving person, disrupt the unity of souls and bodies. The same fear of losing love, and therefore the presence of God in family life, a husband whose head is Christ must also experience. In another letter, the Apostle Paul says: The wife has no authority over her own body, but the husband does; Likewise, the husband has no power over his body, but the wife does. Do not deviate from each other, unless by agreement, for a while, to exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance ().
Husband and wife are members of the Church and, being parts of the fullness of the Church, are equal to each other, obeying the Lord Jesus Christ.
After the Apostle, the Gospel of John is read (). It proclaims God's blessing of the marital union and its sanctification. The miracle of the Savior turning water into wine prefigured the action of the grace of the sacrament, by which earthly marital love is elevated to heavenly love, uniting souls in the Lord. The saint speaks about the moral change necessary for this: “Marriage is honorable and the bed is undefiled, for Christ blessed them in Cana at the wedding, eating food in the flesh and turning water into wine, revealing this first miracle, so that you, the soul, would change” (Great canon, in Russian translation, troparion 4, canto 9).
After reading the Gospel, a short petition for the newlyweds and a priest’s prayer are pronounced on behalf of the Church, in which we pray to the Lord that He will preserve those who were married in peace and unanimity, that their marriage will be honest, that their bed will be undefiled, that their cohabitation will be immaculate, that He will make them worthy to live until old age, while fulfilling His commandments from a pure heart.
The priest proclaims: “And grant us, O Master, with boldness and without condemnation to dare to call on You, Heavenly God the Father, and say…”. And the newlyweds, together with everyone present, sing the prayer “Our Father,” the foundation and crown of all prayers, commanded to us by the Savior Himself.
In the mouths of those getting married, she expresses her determination to serve the Lord with her small church, so that through them on earth His will would be fulfilled and reign in their family life. As a sign of submission and devotion to the Lord, they bow their heads under the crowns.
After the Lord’s Prayer, the priest glorifies the Kingdom, the power and glory of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and, having taught peace, commands us to bow our heads before God, as before the King and Master, and at the same time before our Father. Then a cup of red wine, or rather a cup of communion, is brought, and the priest blesses it for the mutual communion of husband and wife. Wine at a wedding is served as a sign of joy and fun, reminiscent of the miraculous transformation of water into wine performed by Jesus Christ in Cana of Galilee.
The priest gives the young couple three times to drink wine from a common cup - first to the husband, as the head of the family, then to the wife. Usually they take three small sips of wine: first the husband, then the wife.
Having presented the common cup, the priest connects the husband's right hand with right hand wife, covers their hands with stole and places his hand on top of it. This means that through the hand of the priest, the husband receives a wife from the Church itself, uniting them in Christ forever. The priest leads the newlyweds around the lectern three times.
During the first circumambulation, the troparion “Isaiah, rejoice...” is sung, in which the sacrament of the incarnation of the Son of God Emmanuel from the Unartificed Mary is glorified.
During the second circumambulation, the troparion “To the Holy Martyr” is sung. Crowned with crowns, as conquerors of earthly passions, they show the image of the spiritual marriage of a believing soul with the Lord.
Finally, in the third troparion, which is sung during the last circumambulation of the lectern, Christ is glorified as the joy and glory of the newlyweds, their hope in all circumstances of life: “Glory to Thee, Christ God, the praise of the apostles, the joy of the martyrs, and their preaching. Trinity Consubstantial."
This circular walk signifies the eternal procession that began on this day for this couple. Their marriage will be an eternal procession hand in hand, a continuation and manifestation of the sacrament performed today. Remembering the common cross laid upon them today, “bearing each other’s burdens,” they will always be filled with the gracious joy of this day. At the end of the solemn procession, the priest removes the crowns from the spouses, greeting them with words filled with patriarchal simplicity and therefore especially solemn:
“Be magnified, O woman, like Abraham, and be blessed like Isaac, and be multiplied like Jacob, walk in peace, and do the righteousness of the commandments of God.”
“And you, bride, have been magnified like Sarah, and you have rejoiced like Rebecca, and you have multiplied like Rachel, rejoicing over your husband, keeping the limits of the law; therefore God has been so pleased.”
Then, in the two subsequent prayers, the priest asks the Lord, who blessed the marriage in Cana of Galilee, to accept the crowns of the newlyweds undefiled and immaculate in His Kingdom. In the second prayer, read by the priest, with the newlyweds bowing their heads, these petitions are sealed with the name of the Most Holy Trinity and the priestly blessing. At the end of it, the newlyweds testify to their holy and pure love for each other with a chaste kiss.
Further, according to custom, the newlyweds are led to the royal doors, where the groom kisses the icon of the Savior, and the bride kisses the image of the Mother of God; then they change places and are applied accordingly: the groom - to the icon of the Mother of God, and the bride - to the icon of the Savior. Here the priest gives them a cross to kiss and hands them two icons: the groom - the image of the Savior, the bride - the image of the Most Holy Theotokos.
What should a wedding meal be like?
The Sacrament of Marriage is celebrated solemnly and joyfully. From the multitude of people: loved ones, relatives and acquaintances, from the shine of candles, from church singing, one somehow involuntarily feels festive and happy in the soul.
After the wedding, the newlyweds, parents, witnesses, and guests continue the celebration at the table.
But how indecently some of the invitees sometimes behave. People often get drunk here, make shameless speeches, sing immodest songs, and dance wildly. Such behavior would be shameful even for a pagan, “ignorant of God and His Christ,” and not just for us Christians. The Holy Church warns against such behavior. In the 53rd canon of the Council of Laodicea it is said: “It is not appropriate for those attending marriages (that is, even relatives of the bride and groom and guests) to jump or dance, but to modestly sup and dine, as is appropriate for Christians.” The wedding feast should be modest and quiet, should be free from all intemperance and indecency. Such a quiet and modest feast will be blessed by the Lord Himself, who sanctified the marriage in Cana of Galilee with His presence and performance of the first miracle.
What can hinder a Christian marriage?
Often those preparing for a wedding first register civil marriage at the registry office. The Orthodox Church considers civil marriage to be devoid of grace, but recognizes it as a fact and does not consider it illegal, fornicating cohabitation. However, the conditions for marriage civil law and according to church canons they have differences. However, not every civil marriage can be consecrated in the church.
The Church does not allow marriage more than three times. According to civil law, a fourth and fifth marriage is allowed, which the Church does not bless.
A marriage is not blessed if one of the spouses (and especially both) declares himself an atheist and says that he came to the wedding only at the insistence of his spouse or parents.
A wedding is not permitted if at least one of the spouses is not baptized and does not intend to be baptized before the wedding.
A wedding is impossible if one of the future spouses is actually married to another person. First, you need to dissolve the civil marriage, and if the marriage was church, be sure to take the bishop’s permission to dissolve it and his blessing to enter into a new marriage.
Another obstacle to marriage is the blood relationship of the bride and groom and the spiritual relationship acquired through succession at baptism.
When there is no wedding
According to the canonical rules, it is not allowed to perform a wedding during all four fasts, during cheese week, Easter week, and during the period from the Nativity of Christ to Epiphany (Christmastide). According to pious custom, it is not customary to celebrate marriages on Saturday, as well as on the eve of the twelve, great and temple holidays, so that the pre-holiday evening does not pass in noisy fun and entertainment. In addition, in the Russian Orthodox Church, marriages are not celebrated on Tuesdays and Thursdays (the day before fast days- Wednesdays and Fridays), on the eve and on the days of the Beheading of John the Baptist (August 29/September 11) and the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord (September 14/27). Exceptions to these rules can be made due to need only by the ruling bishop.
Cm. .
I Answer knows that the essence of marriage is mutual recognition
newlyweds, responsibility for each other and future children, for the sake of the spouse
they sacrifice their freedom and independence for their love. Wedding
- this is a union forever. People unite on earth to be together in eternity.
In addition, this is a very beautiful and majestic Christian rite. For
believers great importance has precisely marriage in the face of God.
Close people of the spouses are present at the wedding.
Why is the ceremony called a wedding? There is a well-known story about 40 martyrs who accepted the Christian faith.
during the persecution of Christians. For this the pagans drove them into ice water, V
which Christians had to stand until death or renounce the faith.
One could not stand it and renounced Christ. One of the tormentors is so
I was struck by the faith of the martyrs that he himself joined the Christians with
words that he will also confess Christian faith. Happened
vision: God placed 40 crowns on the martyrs. All the martyrs died on this
day, but did not change their faith. Therefore, a wedding means that
to each his own thorny path, there is no such thing as a smooth married life, and
only love helps to endure all suffering. How does the Sacrament of Wedding take place?
A church marriage takes place in a church. The ceremony consists of betrothal, wedding, permission of crowns and thanksgiving prayer.
Ritual
Weddings are performed by a priest and deacon. The whole ceremony lasts about forty minutes.
During the Sacrament of Wedding, the newlyweds are not allowed to sit down.
During the wedding, the priest hands the young couple lighted candles.
Candles are a symbol of joy and warmth. Then he puts on the rings, three times,
starting with the groom. One ring is gold, and the second is silver. Golden
the ring symbolizes the sun, the husband is likened to him, and the silver ring symbolizes the moon,
the radiance of the moon reflects the sun, it is for the wife. After three times exchange
the silver ring goes to the husband, and the gold ring goes to the wife, as a symbol of fidelity.
After the engagement, the priest asks the newlyweds if they are voluntarily
marry and whether they are promised to others. Reads a prayer, asking
God's blessings to the married couple. Then on the heads of the young
lay crowns as a symbol of the crown of the Heavenly King (richly decorated
crowns). The priest says three times: “Lord our God, with glory and
Crown them with honor!” and reads a passage from the Gospel, like the Lord
blesses the marriage in Cana of Galilee. Then a cup of wine is served (as
a symbol of life's joy and sorrow that spouses share until the end of their lives
days). The newlyweds drink wine in three doses. The priest joins their hands and
leads around the lectern three times, while singing prayers (the circle symbolizes
eternity, and the following of the spouses to the priest is a service to the Church). By
At the end of the Sacrament of Wedding, the priest leads the newlyweds to the Royal Doors
altar and pronounces words of edification to them.
Relatives and friends of the young people congratulate the Christian family.
Festive meal after the wedding.
Your soul feels warm and joyful after the wedding. Guests and
young family continues celebrating dining table. Behavior
guests and the festive dinner itself should be modest without excessive
libations and dancing. The Lord blesses a quiet and modest feast. "
It is not appropriate for those who go to marriages to jump and dance, but to sup modestly and
dine as befits Christians.” — 53rd rules of the Council of Laodicea.
A couple wishing to get married must be:
Orthodox, believer, baptized, wear a cross, registered in marriage.
Before getting married, you need to decide for yourself unambiguously so as not to
there was no doubt whether you were ready for this. Spouses who want to get married
must realize that a wedding is a huge responsibility.
Unauthorized dissolution of a church marriage and violation of the vow of fidelity –
a very big sin.
The spouses should discuss the day and time of the wedding
in advance in person with the priest. Have an individual conversation and receive
spiritual blessing.
How to prepare for a wedding.
Fast for three days and pray. Come to church for confession. You need to confess sincerely. Receive Holy Communion.
What is needed for a wedding.
Two icons. Icon Mother of God and the Savior,
The priest will bless the couple with them during the Sacrament of Wedding.
Parents must bring icons. In the old days they used icons
passed down from generation to generation as the greatest shrine. Now
There is an opinion that icons should be new so as not to carry
family energy storage and semantic load from previous
families. This issue is controversial. Everyone decides for themselves.
Wedding rings.
Ring
–
a symbol of eternity and inseparability of the union of two people. You can use
wedding rings, but it is advisable to buy a couple of rings, just for
weddings In the old days, it was customary to buy one gold ring and the other
silver Gold symbolizes the shine of the sun - the husband, and silver -
tenderness and patience - wife. As a result of the exchange, silver goes to the husband, and
gold - to the wife, as a sign of fidelity. Wedding rings are put on and worn on
ring finger of the left hand.
White handkerchiefs , in order to hold candles.
Candles, They are bought in the temple where you will get married.
White towel or a towel, young people will stand on it. White color symbolizes purity of thoughts.
Wine "Cahors".
Very desirable for weddings two witnesses.
Important
so that both witnesses are Orthodox, preferably already married
people. The responsibility of witnesses throughout life will be spiritually
lead the family. Witnesses hold crowns during the wedding ceremony.
If there are no witnesses, the crowns are placed on the couple's head.
Necessarily marriage registration certificate.
Without
This document will not marry you. To get married without a certificate
marriage registration, you need to ask and convince Father. Wedding without
certificates are at the discretion of the priest.
Wedding dress.Bride's dress
For
wedding ceremony should be white and preferably modest (a symbol of holiness and
cleanliness). According to the rules, shoulders and arms must be covered (it is better to check with
the church in which you decided to get married). Headdress required
for the bride: veil or scarf. You need to wear everything for the Sacrament of Wedding
new and most beautiful. Cosmetics and jewelry may be present, but
minimal. Both spouses must have crosses.
Behavior in the temple during a wedding.
You can’t talk, laugh, stand with your back to the iconostasis and
images, walk around the temple. At the time of the wedding, the church and clergy
They pray only for a couple entering into church marriage. Spouses need to be
especially attentive to church services and listen to prayers, they
will have an impact on the rest of their married life. All
those in the Temple, and the newlyweds themselves must sincerely pray during
Sacraments of Wedding.
They don't get married.
Relatives, blood or not, cannot be married until the fourth
tribes, half-brothers and sisters, godfathers cannot be married between
themselves and their godchildren, if the young people have a very big difference in
age and minor (the bishop's permission will be required). If
one of the spouses of a different faith, prerequisite for wedding
is, dedication to Orthodox faith future children. If one of
atheist spouses. A church marriage is not allowed if one of the spouses
is married to another person. In this case it is required
the bishop's permission and his blessing. The Church does not bless
fourth and subsequent marriages.
Days on which people do not get married.
They do not marry on fasting dates and holidays. From Christmas
Christ before Baptism. During multi-day fasts: Rozhdestvensky,
Uspensky, Petrov, the Great. During Maslenitsa and Easter. The day before
twelve feasts and patronal temple days. They will also not get married:
on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday.
Before
When choosing a wedding date, check the church calendar and check with
the chosen church, whether the date you are interested in is available for a wedding.
Popular superstitions, for example, “you can’t get married in May” and others, are stupid and the church does not support them.
How to get debunked.
The Church can allow one to be “debunked” only with very compelling reasons.
arguments. For example, betrayal of one of the spouses, with mental
illness, inability to cohabitate in marriage, assault on life
spouse or children, leprosy, syphilis or AIDS, with
chronic alcoholism or drug addiction, the wife committing an abortion, if
Husband is against it. Excuses like “they didn’t get along” won’t work here.
Submit a written request stating the reason why you decide
debunk.
The wedding ceremony has quite ancient roots, it dates back to the 9th-10th centuries and has not only beautiful content, but also carries a deep meaning. Wedding is a ceremony that unites a man and a woman in the face of God. eternal love and fidelity, turning marriage into a sacrament related to spiritual existence.
The essence of a wedding
IN modern world Unfortunately, many people misinterpret the very essence of the sacrament and treat it as a fashionable and beautiful event that can brighten up the solemn wedding day. Without even thinking about the fact that a wedding is not a simple formality. Only those people who believe in the eternity of marriage on earth and in heaven should take this step. And such a decision can be made only with mutual consent, as a conscious and well-thought-out act. We should not forget that the rite refers to one of the seven sacraments, as a result of which the grace of the Holy Spirit is transmitted to a person, and this happens in an invisible way.
Wedding rules
If, nevertheless, the relationship in a couple is time-tested, the feelings are deep, and the desire to perform the ceremony is well weighed, then it is worth familiarizing yourself with the conditions without which a wedding is impossible. The rules are mandatory:
- The basis for a wedding is a marriage certificate.
- The main role in the family is given to the husband, who must love his wife selflessly. And the wife must obey her husband of her own free will.
It is the husband who has the responsibility to maintain the family's connection with the church. Debunking is allowed only in the most urgent situations, for example, when one of the spouses cheats or in case of mental illness. By the way, the latter can also become a reason for refusal of a wedding.
In ancient times, there was a custom when young people submitted a petition to a priest for a wedding, he announced this at a people's meeting, and only after a lapse of time, if there were no people who could report the impossibility of marriage, was the ceremony carried out.
The total number of weddings a person has throughout his life cannot exceed three times.
Only baptized young people and their witnesses are allowed to participate in the ceremony; everyone must wear a pectoral cross.
If one of those getting married does not know whether he has been baptized or not, it is imperative to discuss this issue with the priest. As a rule, a positive answer is possible if the young people agree to give birth and raise children, following Orthodox traditions.
Age restrictions: a man must be at least 18 years old, and a woman must be at least 16.
Wedding is a primordially Christian rite, therefore people professing another religion (Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, etc.), as well as atheists, are not allowed to participate in it.
A ban on weddings is imposed if the bride and groom are related, even in the fourth generation. And it is undesirable to enter into marriage between godparents and godchildren.
If one of the newlyweds has a secondary marriage, the wedding is prohibited.
But circumstances such as the wife’s pregnancy, or if the newlyweds do not have parental blessing, are not grounds for refusing the wedding.
When can the wedding take place?
By Orthodox calendar Weddings can be held throughout the year, with the exception of days of major fasts - Nativity (from November 28 to January 6), Great Lent (seven weeks before Easter), Peter's Lent (from the second Monday after Trinity to July 12), Assumption (from 14 to August 27), Maslenitsa, on the eve of all great church holidays. Wedding ceremonies are held on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. But, according to folk beliefs, Wednesday and Friday are not suitable for performing the sacrament. It’s also better to avoid getting married on the 13th.
But the happiest periods for marriage are considered to be the periods after the Intercession in the fall, from Epiphany to Maslenitsa in the winter, between Petrov and the Dormition Lent in the summer, and on Krasnaya Gorka in the spring.
Many couples want to get married on the day of official marriage registration, but this cannot be called correct. Priests, as a rule, dissuade young people from such hasty actions. It is best when couples get married on their wedding anniversary or after the birth of children. The later this happens, the more conscious this act will be. The wedding year will be a memorable event that will testify to the sincerity of feelings and confidence in family ties.
Preparation for the wedding
Of particular importance is the process of preparation for such a ritual as a wedding in Orthodox Church. The rules are also present here.
The very first thing that needs to be done is to decide on the church and the priest who will conduct the ceremony. This is quite a responsible task, since the choice must be made with the soul. Young people in the temple should feel comfortable and calm, only in this way will the whole process be of truly great significance. Whether it will be a small church or a majestic cathedral depends primarily on the wishes of the newlyweds; absolutely the entire atmosphere of the holy place should harmoniously fit not only into the spiritual essence of the ceremony, but also correspond to the mental state of the young couple who have decided to link their fate forever.
You also need to talk to the priest, discuss not only organizational issues, but also to take a closer look at each other, to find a common language - this is also very important for the ritual. Many priests pay Special attention conversation with the newlyweds, sometimes they may advise postponing the procedure or holding off, then the priest’s advice should be heeded.
Also, what is important, not all priests have the right to perform wedding ceremonies; for example, those who have been tonsured as monks and are under canonical prohibitions are prohibited from doing so. Sometimes the ceremony, at the request of a young couple, can be performed by a clergyman from another church or cathedral, if, for example, he is their spiritual father.
carrying out the ceremony
It is necessary to agree with the priest on the date and time for which it is scheduled. Orthodox wedding. The rules of church life oblige this. Sometimes several couples can get married in a church at the same time; this nuance also needs to be discussed. You should be concerned if several cameramen will be taking photos and videos at the wedding, so that there is no confusion and this does not spoil the entire ceremony.
A week before the wedding, the newlyweds must begin to fast: do not eat meat, do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, and abstain from marital intimacy. Before the wedding, the newlyweds must attend a service, confess and receive communion.
It is also necessary to take care in advance about purchasing the Mother of God, which must be consecrated, wedding rings, which must be given to the priest before the ceremony, candles, two white towels and four handkerchiefs. It should be noted that according to church canons, rings should be bought for the groom from gold, for the bride from silver. As a rule, the acquisition of all required attributes rests with the witnesses.
The tradition of using it in the ritual also has ancient historical roots. Since ancient times, parents blessed their children using holy icons: a son - Christ the Savior, a daughter - the Virgin Mary, thus giving guidance on the true path.
It is customary to leave a reward for performing a wedding ceremony; you should also ask the priest about money. If the couple does not have the financial ability to pay the entire amount, you can talk about it. Sometimes the amount is not announced at all, and the priest offers to give alms to the church, in the amount that is possible for the newlyweds.
Choosing an outfit for the bride
Concerning wedding dress bride, which she will wear for a wedding in an Orthodox church, the rules are as follows:
- the dress should not be very tight or short, but too fluffy and chic outfits are also not suitable;
- In no case should the shoulders, neckline or arms above the elbows be exposed;
- you can use a cape that will cover exposed parts of the body;
- the outfit should be white or another pale color;
- the head must be covered, for this a scarf or veil is used;
- Do not use too bright makeup or a rich aroma of perfume;
- instead of wedding bouquet the bride should have in her hands
You should also take care of your shoes in advance; closed-toe shoes with low heels are best, because the wedding ceremony lasts about an hour, the bride should feel comfortable throughout this time.
There is a very interesting belief. The bride's dress must have a long train. According to folk legend, the longer the train, the more time the young people will be together. If a train is not provided in the outfit, it can be attached only for the duration of the wedding.
Also, when a wedding takes place in an Orthodox church, the rules apply to the appearance of all guests present. Women should wear dresses or skirts with their knees covered; they should also not expose their neckline or arms; their heads should be covered with a scarf or scarf. It is not necessary for all wedding guests to be present at the wedding ceremony; these can be people who truly believe in the sacrament of the ceremony and treat this process sincerely. To maintain formality, it is better not to attend such events, but to come only to the banquet.
Wedding ceremony
The wedding always begins only after the service. The ceremony consists of two stages: the first is the betrothal, the wedding is the second stage. In the past they were separated by time. After the engagement, the couple could separate if there were reasons for it; the wedding could take place only if the feelings were strong and sincere, because the husband and wife chose each other not only for earthly life, but forever. In the modern rite, both components of the ceremony occur on the same day.
Engagement
The engagement takes place at the entrance to the church. The bride becomes left hand from the groom. The priest reads a prayer, after which he blesses the couple three times and gives lighted candles to their hands. He reads the prayer again and betroths the newlyweds with rings. The rings are changed from the young man's hand to the bride's hand three times, in the end Golden ring The groom remains on the young woman’s hand, and her silver ring is on the finger of her future husband. Only now can the couple call themselves bride and groom.
Wedding
The priest takes the couple into the temple and places them in front of the lectern on a white towel. The man and woman are asked whether they came here of their own free will and whether there are any obstacles to getting married. Witnesses take the crowns in their hands and hold them over the heads of the bride and groom. It should be noted here that this is not so easy to do, especially if the witnesses are short and the young people are tall, and the ceremony time is no less than forty minutes in city churches, and if the ceremony is held in a monastery, then more than an hour. Therefore, it is advisable to choose higher witnesses. After the prayers are read, the newlyweds are brought out a cup of wine, which they must drink three times as a symbol of the fact that from that moment everything in the couple will be shared equally - both happiness and bitterness.
The bride should be warned: while drinking wine from a cup, a situation may arise when the veil gets very close to the candle and ignition occurs. To prevent this from happening, it is advisable to worry in advance about the length of the veil, which should not be too long.
The hands of the newlyweds are tied with a white towel and they are circled around the lectern three times. At this time the church choir is singing. The priest leads the couple to the altar and reads a sermon on eternal life together. After the wedding, all the guests begin to congratulate the newlyweds, and the bell rings, signaling the birth of a young family.
If the newlyweds want to capture a wedding for a long time, photography and video shooting can be done with the permission of the priest. It is best to agree on exactly where the operator should be and how best to stand or move. Typically, churches and cathedrals have quite specific lighting, therefore, in order to ensure that the quality of the shooting does not disappoint later, it is advisable to turn to a good specialist. There are cases when filming is strictly prohibited, so that the memorable event remains in family archives, you can take photos against the backdrop of a cathedral or temple.
Royal wedding
There is one more ancient custom, which should be mentioned in order to bring some historical clarity, is the wedding to the kingdom. This ritual was performed during the coronation ceremony of monarchs, and Ivan the Terrible was the first to start it. The crown that was used went down in history under the name known to everyone - the Monomakh cap. The obligatory attributes of the action were barmas, an orb and a scepter. And the process itself had a sacred content, the main essence of which was the sacrament of anointing. But this ritual has nothing to do with marriage.
The sacrament of a wedding can be called the most reverent and exciting moment in the life of the newlyweds. But at the same time, it is an incredibly responsible step that requires careful step-by-step preparation.
Choosing a date and temple
Preparations for a wedding in the Orthodox Church should begin with choosing a temple. A few weeks before the desired day, you need to finally decide on the location. Each church has its own rules. Therefore, such aspects as the arrangement of guests, the duration of the wedding, and the presence of a choir can vary significantly. Please note that the possibility of photography is also agreed upon in advance, and the cost of a wedding may vary in each temple.
Newlyweds are advised to set a wedding date as early as possible. Take this seriously, because church rules It is not possible to hold a ceremony on all calendar dates. Restrictions apply to the following days: Maslenitsa and Easter week, Thursday, Tuesday and Saturday, during the period of fasting, as well as certain church holidays. You can see a list of all dates in church calendar or check with the temple itself. The wedding day must be agreed upon in advance with the priest.
Please also note that the wedding ceremony does not have to take place directly after the wedding in the registry office. There are no time restrictions, so newlyweds can get married 5 years after their official marriage.
Deciding on a priest
You may not be limited to the choice of priests offered by the temple in which you decided to hold the ceremony. Newlyweds are allowed to use the services of their own priest. The main thing is that the ceremony is performed by a clergyman without monastic vows.
To ensure that your wedding preparations are successful, discuss with your priest in advance all your questions regarding the ceremony. You may need to read special prayers, attend a service, or receive communion before the ceremony.
We purchase the necessary things
While preparing for the wedding, newlyweds should acquire a set of things that will be needed during the ceremony:
- Wedding candles.
- Icon of the Savior
- Icon of the Mother of God.
- Four white, preferably cotton scarves for candles (possibly with embroidery).
- Two clean white towels, on which, according to the rules, the newlyweds should stand.
You can purchase each item separately, or buy the entire set in advance at the church store.
Appearance and outfits of the newlyweds
Unlike a wedding banquet, where the newlyweds can choose stylized outfits and show their imagination, for the wedding ceremony there is certain rules regarding appearance couples. Originally ancient traditions have been preserved here: the groom dressed in a classic dark suit and the future wife in a snow-white dress.
The future wife is not allowed to be in the temple with bare shoulders, neckline and uncovered head. An abundance of jewelry is also considered inappropriate. To keep your head covered, you can wear a veil or scarf. If your dress is too revealing to avoid changing once again, you can simply prepare a cape for the duration of the ceremony. Makeup should be natural and discreet. Avoid high heels. Better pick comfortable shoes, since the wedding can last several hours. And don’t forget your wedding rings, you must bring them with you.
- To undergo the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds and witnesses must be baptized.
- Many priests recommend that preparations for the wedding be accompanied by confession of the newlyweds and morning communion. If you decide to adhere to these rituals, then refrain from consuming alcoholic drinks and cigarettes the day before the ceremony.
- Wedding rings must be illuminated on the Throne, so you should hand them over to the priest in advance.
- During the ceremony, crowns can either be placed on the heads of the newlyweds, or it is possible that witnesses hold them over the future spouses. Try to find out from the priest in advance how this tradition is observed in the church. If the crowns need to be placed on the head, the bride should be careful that her hair does not get damaged because of this. It is recommended to wear a white cotton scarf so that the crown does not catch on your hair or fall off your head.
- If you plan to take photographs in a temple, this point must be clarified in advance. It may be that photography is not allowed in all places, or is prohibited altogether. Considering that the lighting in the temple is quite specific, the photographer must visit the chosen place in advance.
- Young people and witnesses must wear pectoral crosses. It is recommended that all invitees also adhere to this tradition, but this is not obligatory for them.
In order for the ceremony to be successful, you should not only carry out the main stages of preparation for the ceremony, but also become familiar with the wedding rules that the newlyweds will need during the event itself.