Someone who is always late is a problem person. They don’t take him to movies or concerts. Comes for a birthday, when the guests are going home; He is warned about the picnic a week in advance, setting a time two hours earlier - then he won’t be too late. But this is nothing compared to what he does at work. Neither the persuasion of loyal superiors nor the irritation of colleagues will help - he will come up with new reasons for being late, tell tall tales, or be offended that no one will take his position.

You can spend a lot of words and time proving why it is important to do everything on time. Being late is not a harmless habit. As long as no one is waiting for you, you don’t seem to be letting anyone down. Minibuses, trains and planes leave and take off on schedule. I was late and nothing happened. We'll leave on the next one. I’m late for work, for a date, for an interview - we’ll find someone else. Oddly enough, those who are chronically late live in a state of stress. He constantly convinces himself: “I will make it.” Then: “I’ll be late.” Further: “Oh, I’m late. What could you come up with?” His professional skills are negated by constant missed deadlines. Lack of punctuality is just the tip of the iceberg. Below are optionality, procrastination (a new word meaning the habit of putting things off until later), lack of internal discipline, dishonesty (what did you think? To promise and not deliver means to deceive), laziness, sloppiness, and disregard for others. If a person is not able to show up on time, keep a promise, or do his work on time, he will not be trusted in other matters.

Dan Kennedy's Hardcore Management has a chapter on "The Shelby List." Every morning a cry could be heard from Shelby’s office: “Give me the number and get out!” On the wall in his office was a numbered list of excuses for being late to work. “#14: My dog ​​swallowed my car keys. No. 37: I have my period. #41: I got on the wrong bus...” Shelby thought the list was a huge time saver. It would be interesting if we weren’t talking about paid work time stolen from the company. And that the manager accepted the unacceptable behavior of the employees and partly played along with them.

Why is it important to be on time?

If you are an unpunctual boss, your employees will also be late. Coming to work later than expected, staying late during your lunch break, putting off important things. Only a punctual person can demand punctuality from others. On the other hand, seeing how you value other people's time will make your colleagues and business partners value your time.

Punctuality is the basis of authority and moral advantage. This is where a professional begins. To achieve a lot, you need to work hard. Much does not mean long. A lot means quickly and efficiently. If you have a goal, a business, a career, then a vital rule is to do everything on time. Be the first to arrive business meeting and to work. Plan tasks, submit assignments on time, don’t stay late at work at the expense of your personal life because you didn’t organize your day well.

Punctuality is the basis good relations. If you respect another person, you respect not only their time, but also their opinion. A punctual person is more likely to be entrusted with an important task. He gains an advantage automatically, at the expense of lazy and unorganized colleagues.

Punctual means decent

Punctuality is not only about being on time, it is also about doing it on time. Provide a service to a client, work to a customer, an offer to a partner. Do not steal other people's time with long conversations, unnecessary discussions, meet deadlines and schedules. If the person to whom you ordered a service is late for a meeting with you, where is the guarantee that he will complete the order on time? If an employee does not call the customer back on time, how will he receive the order? If an employee is late for an interview, it is cheaper for yourself not to hire him. If a guy is late for a date, don’t bother waiting for him.

Punctuality is keeping promises. If you are communicating with a person who does not keep his word, do not listen to his excuses. Do what an employer would do - punish, fire, teach a lesson. Or as a business partner - no longer have common affairs. Because by accepting such an attitude towards yourself, you show that your interests can be neglected. Who then, besides you, will protect your interests?

Being late as a symptom of a problem

We don't care why we are let down. The result does not change. Sometimes the person who lets you down does not understand the reasons for his actions. Is there a clear explanation for the fact that all the employees came to work on time and work like bees, but one girl, as always, is late. Standing at home in front of the mirror, she chooses the color of lipstick to match her bra strap and frowns - why doesn’t anyone call her? What if she got sick or something happened? When she comes to work, she may make excuses, but, most likely, she will sit down with a dissatisfied look. workplace. This is a special delay - a demand for attention, love or an imaginary demonstration of one’s importance. Still would. No one can, but she can. This is true. This unhappy person shows by his or her behavior that he or she needs special treatment. He will do what he wants and demand that nothing be done to him for it. He came not for a salary, but for love or respect. He has no self-respect and, like a capricious, spoiled child, will demand respect from others. This kind of conspicuous pig behavior makes him (or her) feel important.

Sometimes the problem is not so disguised. A person who breaks routine demonstrates that for him own time doesn't matter. It’s not about you that he doesn’t care when he’s half a day late, loses documents, forgets about orders. He doesn't care about himself. He declares his low self-esteem. An optional employee turns even this disadvantage into an unexpected bonus. He will never be involved in a burning project, will not be left for an important task, will not be invited to a meeting. It will not be controlled because it is useless. True, he will never be promoted, his salary will not be increased, and he will be fired at the first opportunity. He will still talk about fundamental disagreements with his employer, not understanding why they did this to him and how much blood he drank from everyone.

How to learn to live according to a schedule

No matter how many time management books you read, there are few rules. If you decide to do something, do it right away. There are many techniques that allow you to complete fourteen tasks instead of ten, find three more hours in the day, get enough sleep on the go, work on the subway, check email in the toilet, turn off your mobile phone, etc. But the rule does not change: do what you need right away, on time and quickly. The quality of work does not compensate for lost time. Who needs a great presentation if the speaker is late for his talk and the audience thinks bad things about him? So there is only one rule. You can't be late. All actions, processes and events occur in time. Those who spend their time rationally accomplish more. In fairness, it must be said that achieving a lot and doing more differ in both quality and quantity. To achieve a lot, you need talent, hard work, energy, but it all starts with self-organization. Time management is the key to efficiency. Some people get little done because they take so long to do everything. That is, the best. The so-called perfectionist paradox. He did his best, spent a lot of time and is waiting for praise. Also a manifestation of low self-esteem. For some people, it takes incredible effort to get moving or start working.

A few additional tricks will help you stop being late.

Rule 1

Always be on time.

Rule 2

Make a list of planned things to do. It may turn out that there are too many tasks, you need to change the sequence or assign priorities. Do important things first.

Rule 3

Leave the house earlier. Take into account possible traffic jams, lack of transport, and other force majeure. Don't convince yourself that you'll make it in time by leaving the house at the last minute.

Rule 4

Don't take on too much. Working quickly does not mean rushing. If you have a time-consuming task, contact your boss and tell them how much time it will take.

Rule 5

Work at work. Don't think about work, but work. Don’t think that there is a lot to do and you won’t be able to cope. Break the task into parts and start doing it.

Rule 6

Go to bed on time, wake up early. Don't waste time browsing the Internet, watching TV shows, or doing nothing. Don't leave important work overnight. Better get some sleep and do it in the morning.

Rule 7

If you arrive early, don't be nervous about having to wait. Take a book, a notepad, and download a movie with you so you have something to do.

Rule 8

First thing in the morning, take a shower and apply makeup. You can have a quick snack, but it’s impossible to get dressed and put on makeup quickly. While you shower, you can brew oatmeal and tea.

Rule 9

Decide in the evening what you will wear in the morning. Prepare your clothes, decide what you will have for breakfast. Pack a lunch to take to work.

Rule 10

Don't overeat before bed. It will be difficult to fall asleep and difficult to get enough sleep. You can have a small snack, but it is better to fall asleep on an empty stomach. In the morning you want to get up and eat normally.

Rule 11

Imagine that you are already late. Imagine what those who are waiting for you thought about you. Imagine what they will tell you when you finally run out of breath with your true story. Introduced? Now get up, take your purse, turn off electrical appliances, check the gas, electricity and immediately leave the house.

Top 8 books on time management

“Time Drive: How to have time to live and work” Gleb Arkhangelsky (publishing house “Mann, Ivanov and Ferber”, 2013, 165 UAH)

“Hard Time Management: Take Control of Your Life” Dan Kennedy (Alpina Publishing House, 2013, 170 UAH)

“Time management using a pomodoro: How to concentrate on one thing for at least 25 minutes” by Staffan Neteberg (Alpina publishing house, 2013, 140 UAH)

“Complete control & management of life and time” Yitzhak Pintosevich (Print publishing house, 2013, 105 UAH)

“Work less, accomplish more. Personal effectiveness program" Kerry Gleason (publishing house "Mann, Ivanov and Ferber", 2013, 170 UAH)

"This strange life» Daniil Granin (publishing house Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2013, 165 UAH)

“The Psychology of Personal Effectiveness: How to Beat Stress, Stay Focused, and Enjoy Work” by Neil Fiore (Mann, Ivanov and Ferber Publishing, 2013, 177 UAH)

“Willpower: How to develop and strengthen” Kelly McGonigal (Mann, Ivanov and Ferber publishing house, 2013, 186 UAH)

I'm worried. These people are always worried, worried about anything, fall into unreasonable panic, and most importantly, they gravitate toward planning. It’s best to plan your vacation six months or even a year in advance, start preparing for a date a week in advance, and leave the house an hour and a half before the appointed time, especially if it takes no more than fifteen minutes to get there. This behavior has its own reasons. The fact is that for an anxious person, any means to avoid stressful situation, including conviction in case of lateness. That is why it is much easier for people prone to stress to arrive early than to be even one minute late. Arriving earlier than the appointed time becomes a kind of safety mechanism.

I'm not confident in myself. Arriving early can also mean an extreme degree of self-doubt. So, for example, a person who has the bad habit of being late everywhere and always is sure that they will wait for him, because where he is expected, he is needed. Anyone who prefers to show up for a meeting twenty minutes before the appointed time subconsciously doubts his need, in other words, is panicky afraid of being late for a date and finding an empty space.

I don't know how to respect myself. Psychologists say that one of the reasons for early arrivals may be insufficient self-esteem. In other words: I am worthless, and coming early is an attempt to prove my worth to the world around me.

Who always arrives on time:

I'm a perfectionist. Punctuality is always appreciated. Employers prefer for a particular position those applicants who show up for interviews on the minute. However, punctuality, coupled with intolerance towards those who are late, indicates signs of another character trait - perfectionism. In scientific terms, perfectionism is an endless pursuit of perfection. The pedant strives to do everything perfectly correctly and on time. You must arrive at work exactly at 00 minutes, leave at 00, and not a minute later, but not a minute earlier. Rest assured, if you have a meeting scheduled, the pedant will appear exactly at the appointed hour. With enviable consistency, perfectionists are not late.

The danger of perfectionism is that in an attempt to achieve perfection, a person can become obsessed with an idea. Pathological perfectionism can cause a person himself a lot of problems in the form of feelings of constant dissatisfaction, anxiety, and irritability. But the main problem is the inability to achieve this or that goal. WITH an ordinary person It’s simple - if we haven’t achieved it, then we’ll try tomorrow, or at worst, we’ll give up altogether. For a perfectionist, failure is a real tragedy, which he often cannot cope with on his own. Often a punctual person is defined as a neurotic - after all, if something does not go according to plan, the mood sharply deteriorates, a wave of anger rises inside, which is quite difficult to cope with, and the day seems to be unsuccessful.

Who is always late:

Remember, you probably have acquaintances, friends, relatives, and maybe all of them together, who never arrive anywhere on time. Swear? Useless. Beg? No prospects. Cry with anger? Effective, but no nerves will be enough. However, maybe it’s not worth wasting your nerves? It turns out that chronic tardiness has its own reasons, which lie in the character and psychology of a person.

I don't want to come. It’s funny, but it’s true, there are also those who are extremely punctual, say, if we are talking about going to the theater, to the cinema, especially when it comes to an important trip, but they always show up to the office for thirty minutes, if not forty minutes Later. This can be explained by simple fact that the person simply does not want to come. He does not like the job, the position he holds, and simply does not like working where he works. This state of affairs forces the unfortunate person to extremely delay the terrible moment when the office door still has to be opened and entered there for the whole day. From a psychological point of view, by being late, the human psyche is protected from negative emotions, so no matter how much you pull yourself together, hurry up, and leave fifteen minutes early, the inevitable remains inevitable: you will be late because you don’t want to show up.

I want to be needed. One of the common reasons for constant lateness, oddly enough, is the need for necessity. “They are waiting for me, which means I am needed.” Making yourself wait means making others nervous and worried. This desire is subconscious and does not at all mean that the person who is late wishes you harm and every time makes plans to make you nervous. Perhaps he lacks attention. Maybe we should try to compensate for this lack in other ways?

I want to be free. For many of us as children, our parents set a fairly high standard that we must meet. We grow up in an atmosphere of iron rules and rock-solid discipline, not allowing ourselves to relax for a minute. This inability to “let go of the situation” moves with us into adult life. True, if you always keep a tight rein on yourself, control and leave no room for error, you can go to the hospital with a nervous breakdown. For such people, exhausted by their upbringing, it is simply vital to find a kind of outlet for themselves, to break the rule in at least some area of ​​life. Since it will not be possible to organize a “big revolution”, we are not used to it, then there is only one option left - to be late. This kind of freedom allows a person accustomed to discipline to feel free and independent from other people’s opinions and rules.

I do not want to wait. Yes, yes, there are those who even panic attack, before nervous breakdown Can't stand waiting. That is why it is easier for a representative of this “type” to come last, rather than first. The languid wait for anything is more exhausting than a sprint to the meeting place under the angry calls of those waiting.

Ambivalence, frustration, rigidity - if you want to express your thoughts not at the level of a fifth grader, then you will have to understand the meaning of these words. Katya Shpachuk explains everything in an accessible and understandable way, and visual gifs help her with this.
1. Frustration

Almost everyone experienced a feeling of unfulfillment, encountered obstacles on the way to achieving goals, which became an unbearable burden and a reason for reluctance. So this is frustration. When everything is boring and nothing works.

But you shouldn’t take this condition with hostility. The main way overcome frustration - realize the moment, accept it, and be tolerant. A state of dissatisfaction and mental tension mobilize a person’s strength to deal with a new challenge.

2. Procrastination

- So, starting tomorrow I’m going on a diet! No, better from Monday.

I'll finish it later when I'm in the mood. There's still time.

Ah..., I’ll write tomorrow. It's not going anywhere.

Sound familiar? This is procrastination, that is, putting things off until later.

A painful state when you need it and don’t want it.

Accompanied by tormenting oneself for not completing the assigned task. This is the main difference from laziness. Laziness is an indifferent state, procrastination is an emotional state. At the same time, a person finds excuses and activities that are much more interesting than doing specific work.

In fact, the process is normal and inherent to most people. But don't overuse it. The main way to avoid this is motivation and proper prioritization. This is where time management comes to the rescue.

3. Introspection


In other words, introspection. A method by which a person examines his own psychological tendencies or processes. Descartes was the first to use introspection when studying his own mental nature.

Despite the popularity of the method in the 19th century, introspection is considered a subjective, idealistic, even unscientific form of psychology.

4. Behaviorism


Behaviorism is a direction in psychology that is based not on consciousness, but on behavior. Human reaction to an external stimulus. Movements, facial expressions, gestures - in short, everything external signs became the subject of study by behaviorists.

The founder of the method, American John Watson, assumed that through careful observation, one could predict, change or shape appropriate behavior.

Many experiments have been conducted to study human behavior. But the most famous was the following.

In 1971, Philip Zimbardo conducted an unprecedented psychological experiment called the Stanford Prison Experiment. Absolutely healthy, mentally stable young people were placed in a suspended prison. The students were divided into two groups and assigned tasks: some had to play the role of guards, others prisoners. The student guards began to show sadistic tendencies, while the prisoners were morally depressed and resigned to their fate. After 6 days the experiment was stopped (instead of two weeks). During the course, it was proved that the situation influences a person’s behavior more than his internal characteristics.

5. Ambivalence


Many psychological thriller writers are familiar with this concept. So, “ambivalence” is a dual attitude towards something. Moreover, this relationship is absolutely polar. For example, love and hatred, sympathy and antipathy, pleasure and displeasure that a person experiences simultaneously and in relation to something (someone) alone. The term was introduced by E. Bleuler, who considered ambivalence one of the signs of schizophrenia.

According to Freud, “ambivalence” takes on a slightly different meaning. This is the presence of opposing deep motivations, which are based on the attraction to life and death.

6. Insight


Translated from English, “insight” is insight, the ability to gain insight, insight, suddenly finding a solution, etc.

There is a task, the task requires a solution, sometimes it is simple, sometimes complex, sometimes it is solved quickly, sometimes it takes time. Usually, in complex, labor-intensive, seemingly impossible tasks, insight comes. Something non-standard, unexpected, new. Along with insight, the previously established nature of action or thinking changes.

7. Rigidity


In psychology, “rigidity” is understood as a person’s unwillingness to act not according to plan, fear of unforeseen circumstances. Also referred to as “rigidity” is the unwillingness to give up habits and attitudes, from the old, in favor of the new, etc.

A rigid person is a hostage to stereotypes, ideas that are not created independently, but taken from reliable sources.
They are specific, pedantic, and are irritated by uncertainty and carelessness. Rigid thinking is banal, cliched, uninteresting.

8. Conformism and non-conformism


“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to stop and think,” wrote Mark Twain. Conformity is a key concept social psychology. Expressed as a change in behavior under the real or imagined influence of others.

Why is this happening? Because people are afraid when they are not like everyone else. This is a way out of your comfort zone. This is the fear of not being liked, of looking stupid, of being outside the masses.

A conformist is a person who changes his opinion, beliefs, attitudes, in favor of the society in which he is located.

Nonconformist is the opposite concept to the previous one, that is, a person who defends an opinion that differs from the majority.

9. Catharsis

From ancient Greek, the word “katharsis” means “purification,” most often from feelings of guilt. A process of long experience, excitement, which at the peak of development turns into liberation, something maximally positive. It is common for a person to worry for various reasons, from the thought of the iron not being turned off, etc. Here we can talk about everyday catharsis. There is a problem that reaches its peak, a person suffers, but he cannot suffer forever. The problem begins to go away, the anger goes away (for some), the moment of forgiveness or awareness comes.

10. Empathy


Do you experience together with the person who tells you his story? Do you live with him? Do you emotionally support the person you are listening to? Then you are an empath.

Empathy – understanding people’s feelings, willingness to provide support.

This is when a person puts himself in the place of another, understands and lives his story, but, nevertheless, remaining with his reason. Empathy is a feeling and responsive process, somewhere emotional.

Ecology of life. Psychology: Each of us, at every moment of time, is where he needs to be, and plays out the situation that he needs...

The real reasons for being late

A common problem associated with the energy of dissatisfaction is being late.A person who is constantly late or constantly worries about being late (which is essentially the same thing) is at the mercy of energy of discontent.

If he is really late, he is extremely dissatisfied with himself, although he may not show it.

If he does arrive on time, this is achieved at the cost of incredible efforts, loss of strength or Have a good mood. The dissatisfaction that had to be overcome takes away strength. It seems like he arrived on time, but still no satisfaction.

And again we ask ourselves: How does a balanced person behave? Is he really never late for anything? Or does it filter through traffic jams using esoteric techniques?

It’s just that such a person does not lose his balance due to being late. He feels that no matter what time he arrives, he is always on time.

In fact, this is true. Each of us at every moment of time is where he needs to be, and plays out the situation that he needs. A man was late for the lecture, missed half of it, but heard the only thing he really needed right now, and received an answer to his question. Even when it seems that he’s already definitely done, he’s late, the train has left, and the person remains on the platform, he’s still on time: he was late to board the train, but managed to stay for something more important.

If they are late for you

Now let's look at the opposite situation: when someone is late for you.

Being late always irritates those who wait. Of course, the time that a person spends in painful anticipation, he could spend usefully for himself. Irritation is a manifestation of the same energy of dissatisfaction, and therefore it also takes away strength and deprives one of a good mood.

If everyone is late to you, everywhere, then you will have to admit that dissatisfaction fills you to the limit, and those around you point out this problem to you in such an unpleasant way. By releasing this energy from yourself, you will stop provoking others to be late and make you dissatisfied.

If only the same person is late for you, then this indicates an incorrectness in your relationship with him: somewhere there is a transfer of the result at a subtle level from you to him. And your task is to disagree with this.

How can you change the situation?

If this is a person dear to you, we need to negotiate and adapt to each other in some way. A common example from our practice is that the wife is always late, the husband is always waiting and is always dissatisfied. In this situation, both need to try: the wife learns to get ready in advance, the husband makes plans taking into account the characteristics of his wife.

It's another matter if this person is not your partner. Then you need, firstly, to express your point of view. And if a person does not try to meet you halfway, then level your relationship with him differently: either refuse to interact with him, or respond in kind. The criterion is the ability not to lose energy, that is, in this case, to remain satisfied.published

If you have any questions on this topic, ask them to the experts and readers of our project.

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness, we are changing the world together! © econet

Everything is on the shelves, joint to joint, minute by minute - what do you call a person who does everything perfectly? How to describe a person who loves maximum order in everything and does not tolerate any shortcomings? What is the complexity of this phenomenon and why such behavior can interfere with life.

A person who does everything to the maximum is called a perfectionist. Moreover, people with this trait try to do everything perfectly, regardless of their real opportunities. Sometimes, causing negativity in life.

Perfectionism is a character trait

It’s more of a lifestyle, which sometimes backfires on the perfectionist himself. The whole point is that the main thing and the most important description This phenomenon is to do the job as clearly and efficiently as possible. Be it simple cleaning and decluttering of a closet with things or wallpapering your apartment. So what's the problem? Okay, good quality?

Sometimes, perfectionists take on tasks that are beyond their capabilities. Trying to complete it 100%, they “hang” over the problem for hours, not having the psychological ability to delegate it to another person. Spending time, they try to understand the niche and complete the task as efficiently as possible. Although, a person who does not have such a “illness” would simply do the job as best he can.

Another characteristic disadvantage of perfectionism is frequent disappointment in oneself. As with everything around them, this type of people also places high demands on themselves. In addition to external components, perfectionist people are very scrupulous in “rummaging” in their inner world trying to make it perfect.

Perfectionist in relationships

Of course, both in relationships and in family life, a person who is used to doing everything to the maximum will try to arrange everything as “beautifully” as possible. Of course, regarding your perception of beauty.

The partner of a perfectionist is, as a rule, a person not endowed with such a character trait. On the contrary, subconsciously perfectionists are looking for a mate that they will “finish to perfection.”

Despite the obvious disadvantages, a lifestyle where you do everything to the maximum is more of an advantage than a disadvantage. In a world where everyone is only chasing money, not caring about quality, a perfectionist is a real find.