Good afternoon friends! Elena Melnikova is with you. Have you ever met happy people? Those that sparkle with a joyful smile and illuminate the world around with their eyes? There are few of them, but they still exist. I hope this article will help you become one of them.

Absolute happiness, which is based (based) on harmony with oneself, the world and the ability to gratefully accept everything that exists, is not only a gift, but also daily work souls. This is the ideal to which we all strive. But the most important thing to understand is that our happiness is in our hands.

The components of happiness, of course, are different for everyone. But in any case, you cannot do without accepting yourself - your personality and way of life.

Does everyone live the way they want? Alas... Many restrictions dictated by a sense of duty, financial problems, failures and stereotypes regularly create obstacles for us on the path to our dreams. And we, humbled, continue to bend under the weight of discontent.

Humility - good quality. And it, too, is a gift and spiritual labor. But as the Serenity Prayer says, “Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference.” . Therefore, do not forget that, in addition to humility, life is given to us for development and change. For the better.

“Man is created for happiness, like a bird is created for flight” (V. G. Korolenko). “If you want to be happy, be happy” (Kozma Prutkov).

We simply must hang these words at the head of our bed and confirm them with daily efforts to bring them to life. Without pessimism. Without disbelief in your own capabilities. Without fear of failure.

Phrases about the comfort zone, like a cocoon, made up of stereotypes and habits and like a web, drawing us into everyday life, have already become commonplace. I don’t want to, but I have to repeat them over and over again so that everyone thinks: “Is this how I want to live? Am I happy? Are you satisfied with the current state of affairs? And what gives me true joy?”

Don't think, I am in no way claiming that our everyday life is an annoying routine burden that needs to be dropped as soon as possible. No, the everyday life around us can also be beautiful, as long as you blend in harmoniously with it.

But, if you still feel that you are living in discord with yourself, do not have the opportunity to realize your potential and as if you are living someone else’s life, it’s time to act. Bravely and decisively!

So how can you change your life for the better? Remember (what a sad word... No, don’t forget!) your main dream. Tell yourself where and with whom you would like to live, what to do, what to think about before going to bed. Have you talked? Now start moving towards your dream in small (or immediately large) steps.

To help you, I will give three stories from the lives of my friends. These people were able to step out of their comfort zone, challenge habits and go towards their desires. I have known some of them for several years, others for several months, but well enough to admire their courage and readiness for change.

So, the first story, slightly reminiscent of the fairy tale about Cinderella

Alyonushka was born in an ordinary Nizhny Novgorod village in a friendly large family. Life never spoiled her, and therefore, from the age of 15, Alena got a job. At first it was a part-time job as an administrator in children's center, night shifts at a grocery store, then employment at a cafe and, finally, at a beauty salon and fitness club.

By the age of 23, Alena was the administrator of a large shopping center and had several dozen people under her command. She liked her work; leading people was her calling. Along the way, she worked part-time as a beauty salon administrator and had the opportunity to look great for little money. But she understood that this was temporary. I wanted more.

Live in Nizhny Novgorod, despite the closeness of her family and abundance of friends, seemed boring to her. Moscow attracted our heroine more and more often, and one fine day she took a one-way ticket.
This is not a story about how Cinderella conquered Moscow. This is the story of how Alena searched for herself.

In Moscow, after wandering around with friends for a month and eating more than one dog in search of rented housing, brave girl found an inexpensive apartment in the center and a neighbor with whom they shared rent. All this time she was looking for a job, but did not grab the first offer that came her way. This must be a dream job. The kind that was worth going to the metropolis for.

Finally, the girl received a position as a project coordinator in a website development company. She had a lot to learn new information and join a difficult team. However, if Alena coped with her responsibilities perfectly, the team was not easy. The superior men made it clear that, in addition to direct duties, Alena needed to perform some other duties. Alena did not bend.

The desire to change something in her life again desperately bit her. But the wise office worker endured two years to gain the necessary experience, and then changed jobs. Simply put, it moved from customers to their own clients.

The new job was much more satisfying, but could not withstand the difficult economic situation. Department after department was closed. Alena was laid off.

And then, at one fine moment, circumstances (oh, great word!) developed in such a way that Alena’s skills helped her find. More precisely, the work itself found her. A friend, and part-time partner, recommended Alena to the contractors of the closing company. The salary was half as much, but the opportunity to work without going to the office was more attractive than any money. Now Alena was engaged in online advertising.

Together with new job the girl went to her parents in the village, to her friends at the dacha, and even to the Netherlands for an internship (yes, yes, remote workers have internships). With remote work, Alena was able to organize her work day in accordance with biorhythms, desires and habits. I started practicing yoga and found time for business English courses.

But the story doesn't end there. Remote work instilled (or, let’s say, finally instilled) in the girl a love of freedom and gave her an understanding of the optimal organization of the work process. And Alyonka is no stranger to organizational skills.

So, our heroine, having calculated all the risks in her mind (and those who don’t take risks, you know...), organized own company for website creation and related services. The business is developing, but, most importantly, it brings moral satisfaction. And this is worth a lot!

Elena comes from a small town in the Ivanovo region. Her father was a teacher, loved animals very much and even went about his business with a pet pig. Since childhood, Elena dreamed of working as a veterinarian.

But when it was time to go to college, Elena’s parents explained to Elena that being a veterinarian was an extremely unprestigious profession and she would have to settle in the village forever and “twist the cows’ tails on the farm.” Elena went to pedagogical school.

Elena is an excellent teacher. Children love her for her conscientious work and cordial attitude. But life in a service apartment in Nizhny Novgorod did not appeal to the lover of nature and furry animals of all kinds. She and her husband already had a house in a small, half-abandoned village.

Near the hut, which had been rebuilt over the course of many years from scraps and pieces (and gradually turned into a two-story house), unprecedented flowers were already blooming and future household preparations were growing. And one day chickens settled there.

And then it went like clockwork. Following the chickens, rabbits appeared (it all started with one pair), then the incubator started working, and all this was clearly going to spend the winter. At first, Elena and Alexander visited their pets every weekend.

Each trip was perceived as an exciting journey to our favorite places. And later, when Alexander retired from service, the couple decided to permanently move to their beloved village.

The children had already grown up by that time, but the animals required more and more trouble. And the zealous owners decided to completely move to the village. Elena did not wait for retirement. Instead, she made a suitable schedule for herself at work and goes to work in a city 120 km away every 4 days.

The city is tiring, but at the same time it is a place for purchasing feed and marketing agricultural products. And it cannot be counted, because sheep, goats and pigs appeared on the farm, and the total livestock grew to such an extent that the number of “all together” cannot be calculated in any way.

And even though you have to get up, as they say, before dawn, even though in the evening you feel a pleasant ache in your body, but the spouses greet every day with joy, and the children try to come to the village every free minute.

The third story is absolutely fantastic

Sometimes, to find your path, you need to deviate sharply from it.

Anna is a very young girl, she is only 19. She grew up in Tatarstan. At the age of 17 she moved from hometown to the capital of the republic. She started her career from the bottom, but in a large company. At one point (and again an accident?) the manager urgently needed a replacement person. Anyuta’s conditions were set as follows: if she copes, she will remain in her position. Anya did it.

By the age of 19, Anna held a high position at a well-known automobile company. The salary was enough to rent an apartment in the center of Kazan and not deny myself anything. But the other side of the coin is working hard, almost complete absence time for sleep and rest - made itself felt. More and more often Anna asked herself the question: in the name of what is all this? The neurosis grew.

One night, Anya turned on the TV and watched a film about a woman who, in a critical situation, went out into the field, shouted out everything that was in her soul, and after that improved her life.

The solution has been found!

Without thinking twice, Anyuta threw on her coat, grabbed her handbag and called a taxi to the nearest vacant lot. The starry sky and the cold March night awaited her revelations.

At dawn Anya walked towards the house. The road was as silent and deserted as at night, but the silence became the background for condescending insights. Anya understood: now she wants to fly away.

The rising sun found Anya at the airport. Anya flew to Crimea. Without going home. Without collecting things. Without saying goodbye to anyone. And that’s why the director’s call was so distant... So distant that Anyuta still hasn’t written a letter of resignation. She just left.

Arriving in Simferopol, literally, with nothing and nothing (in her purse there was a passport, a pack of cigarettes and 5,000 rubles), Anyuta began to live according to the laws of countless romantically minded tramps: fleeting acquaintances, a complete break from reality and boundless fun.

Having received free time, Anya learned to appreciate every moment. Now she began to listen to herself and think about what kind of life suits her.

Friends hosted Anya sometimes for several weeks. But the moment came when it was necessary to leave the most hospitable houses. Anya was not afraid of this. She was free like the wind. Without money. Mom was just topping up her mobile account.

Anna says about the difficulties endured along the way (and these included rain and cold): “I spent the night in the most beautiful and picturesque places on the southern coast and ate healthy food cooked with spring water.”

The most interesting thing is that the things that Anya sincerely needed came to her on their own. People gave her summer dresses, a swimsuit, shoes, a blanket and even a tent. At the moment when we met and were sunbathing in Foros, swimming goggles arrived (and this is not a metaphor) - this summer's dream.

Anna: “My journey has been beautiful and unique. I was accompanied by mountains, the sea, beautiful people, animals and birds. In addition, music accompanied me.

I received my harmonica as a gift in Fox Bay, and learned to play there. I played music on the embankments, which brought me enough money to buy food and cigarettes. I didn’t feel poor or unhappy for a minute.

Just six months ago, at the beginning of my journey, I would never have thought that tens of thousands of kilometers of walking and hitchhiking would change my world SO dramatically.”

Wonderful facts only confirm the idea that with the disappearance of familiar comfort, new opportunities open up for us. You just need to know how to use them.

Anyuta used it until she understood what she wanted from life: she would create and share her experience with others.

In August, Anya returned to her homeland. Having correctly set her priorities, she thought about choosing a profession (which will certainly be related to creativity), and is currently planning to go to China and India for inspiration. And I firmly believe that she will succeed.

These three wonderful women left a deep imprint on my life. Each of them knows what she wants and firmly moves towards her goal. And, if suddenly the goals change, each will be ready for a sharp turn. But all these goals can be reduced to one thing - harmony with oneself and happiness.

People who have changed their lives, despite fears, stereotypes and their own insecurities, change themselves in better side. At a minimum, they become more open, courageous and decisive. In addition, adapting to a new situation forces you to change your thinking, improving your flexibility and expanding your horizons. Which means it’s definitely worth a try.

I myself have repeatedly had to turn my life 90, and sometimes 180 degrees. Break your own stereotypes, radically change your views and principles and, most importantly, follow them.

Therefore, I have developed a certain algorithm of actions for a radical revolution in fate:

1. Let go of all fears. If this fails, think about your biggest fear and make sure that it is not so scary. (For example: the worst thing that can happen if I change jobs (move to another area) is that I will have very little money. But this is not the worst thing, because as a last resort I can get such and such a position, but In general, I write articles (and some of you bake cakes or sew clothes) to order).
2. Don't know where to start? Take the first step. Convince yourself that this is only the first step, which will not affect anything, does not oblige you to anything, and, if something happens, everything can end there. In fact, your first step affects many things, and once you take a step, you will move on to new level consciousness and achieving your own goal, which you can no longer refuse. Moreover, if you are on the right path, then you will see for yourself how everything starts to work out from the first step. In the future, of course, there will be difficulties, but the biggest difficulty - deciding to change - is already behind us.
3. Treat difficulties that arise along your path as tests and character building. Believe that all of them were sent down to you to show your true capabilities. In addition, do not forget that overcoming obstacles, coupled with drastic changes, instantly relieves depression caused by routine and everything that develops against its background. Proven on my own skin!
4. When most of the journey has already been completed, there is no point in stopping. But it always makes sense to adjust plans along the way. The main thing is not to break the contract with your dream.
5. Ask the Lord for help in business. If you don't believe in God, ask people. Support, advice, small service. Ask and it will be given to you.
6. Praise yourself for small but significant achievements. Consider further. Think about how things can be improved. And believe in success.

Be happy, dear readers! Don't be afraid of change!

Hello, Pavel Yamb is with you and today let’s talk about pleasant things: changes for the better. What the Lately Has your life gotten better? Earnings? Relationship? Health? Or is everything somehow the same as before? I’ll tell you one secret: if everything is as it was, it means it’s gotten worse. You just didn't notice it. Because our life is like a mountain: if you don’t go up, you slide down. The law of universal gravitation, you know, has not been canceled. Therefore, in order not to be disappointed in life, you need to know how to change your life for the better.

Up the hill

We are all human, we tend to forget, not finish things, relax, procrastinate for later... It’s these “tails” that pull us down.

For example, one day we got up in the morning, the mood was good, the sun was shining outside. And the plan was to clean the houses. But they didn’t clean it up, they went for a walk, to the park, with good company. We drank, sat, talked spiritually... We came home, fell, fell asleep. The next day you get up - your head is cast iron, you're at home, it's time to go to work - and then you wonder: why is this mood so bad? Yes, because he sits inside that he planned one thing - and did not do it.

But this is cleaning; you can rarely do without it. But if we're talking about about charging, for example, it’s more complicated.

I didn’t do it - I explained to myself: well, it’s only once. And in general, we did so many laps around the park - compensation!

I put it aside here, forgot there, changed my mind here... Where do you get self-confidence if you constantly don’t finish something? Our memory records absolutely everything, even if we forget something. This is how the quantity of unfinished tasks develops into quality - self-doubt.

Therefore, any improvements begin with a careful review and tidying up

• Houses;
• lifestyle;
• way of thinking;
• habits.

Where to begin?

It depends on the desire. You already have a master plan of action, all that remains is to decide on the volume, details and time. Well, let's say, let's not spread ourselves too thin and allocate a week for each change. Then we will get it done in one month, and at the end we will find ourselves with a decent amount of changes in our lives.

So: home

Do you like cleanliness and have recently done general cleaning? Commendable! What about old things? Maybe you need to look into the far corners of your closet and pull out old shirts and blouses that you haven’t worn for several years? Ask yourself, hand on heart: will you still wear them? It is clear that dear memories may be associated with them. But they can be stored in memory, not in the closet: at least more free space will.

But in general, good rule- get rid of everything old. That is why for many peoples this is always a tradition for some holiday. In Spain, for example, old things are disposed of at New Year. They just take old furniture and things and throw them out the windows.

Of course, it’s not worth it so radically, but going through the accumulated deposits means freeing up space for something new.

To make it easier to decide, imagine that you have to move. What will you take with you to new house, and what will you leave? Your future life is a new home. So choose only the best!

Lifestyle

Oh, these favorite habits! The hardest thing is to part with them. Have a delicious meal, sleep longer, hang out in front of the TV with a pack of chips or pizza, or computer game until dawn... However, overweight, circles under the eyes from sleepless nights and dullness from continuous action movies, soap operas and all the mental fluff, clearly show that this is not the best way to improve yourself.

Therefore, this week we are dedicating ourselves to a healthy lifestyle. We sit less, only for work reasons, we move more, eat vegetables, fruits and go to bed on time. It's like a mini-sanatorium at home. If you have the opportunity to go a couple of times a week to Gym or on a country walk - we don’t miss it. Massage, sauna, swimming pool - everything that will invigorate the body and shake out the accumulated deposits.

Or maybe you have some doctor’s advice lying around somewhere about vitamins that you need to take, or even the vitamins themselves, bought then, with the thought that I’ll take charge of my health? Don’t be shy, pull it out, start taking it this same week.

Mindset

Well, we already have obvious signs of improvement: the house is clean, our lifestyle has also been improved - now it’s time to put things in order in our heads. First of all, answer the following questions:

• How do you feel when you get up in the morning?
• What do you think about during the day?
• How do you feel in the evening?
• What bothers you before bed?
• How do you feel about tomorrow, about the future?

Thorough and honest answers to these questions will help reveal whether you are fulfilled. positive thoughts and feelings or are completely immersed in routine.

It is clear that we do not live in a vacuum; our expectations can be influenced by both global events and relationships with loved ones. However, what more people takes responsibility for his life and his happiness, the less his mood depends on others.

So, we begin to cultivate an optimistic way of thinking.

“I can do it,” “I can handle it,” “I can do this”—this is what should replace the usual whining and fears.

The coolest thing is that if you find key points where this uncertainty arises and start working with them - everything works out. This is not stupid auto-training with howls, like in the movies.

Just catching mental cravings and eliminating them. For example: you go to your boss. What do you think about this hike? That he will again be dissatisfied with your work? What will you have to do to kill time listening to his reasoning? Is this the kind of future you want for yourself?

No, we catch the brain-eater by the tail, slam it on the table and say: nothing! The boss will be pleased, tell me something useful, and generally give me sugar and a kiss on the nose prize!

The degree to which your plan will be implemented depends on:

a) neglect of problems with the boss;

b) inner confidence or courage.

I warn you right away: it may not work. If your relationship with your boss is difficult, then you can simply lock this problem in a distant closet for now and practice on something that does not cause such internal resistance. Practice on little things: bread in a store, a seat in transport...

The most important thing this week is to stop broadcasting your sad attitude towards life into the universe and start wishing yourself good, pleasant things. So as not to sound like the joke:

So sit your angel in front of you and dictate to him what you really expect and want from life.

Another tip for the week (wow, what a busy week it is!) – remember old promises you made to yourself and others. What didn’t you do not because it was impossible, but simply because you forgot? Give a book to read, learn something from another friend, return the drill... You need to sit down, remember, or better yet, write it down, and finally do it.

It's a small thing, isn't it? That’s why they forgot to do it, because – well, it’s a complete trifle! However, the thought that they fulfilled, kept their promise, and completed it is no longer a trifle. It will give you confidence and allow you to clear conscience turn your face to the future, and not constantly think about what you didn’t finish, forgot. Feel the difference in the mood that arises from what is accomplished and from the thought of something unfinished.

Of course, you can try to set yourself up for the future with this tail, but it’s the same as trying to beautifully fit into a turn at speed, having an unknown amount of different crap on the trailer. It is unlikely that it will come out, or it will even get stuck and inadvertently tear something off for you.

Let's shake ourselves

I must say that if you move according to this plan, you will significantly shake up old habits by the fourth week. However...

Leading the same lifestyle day after day, we get used to looking at the world from the same angle. If our life is not going well, it is difficult to force ourselves to look at it with a happy look. Therefore, our task this week is simply to change the usual view of the world. Take a different route to work. Do something that hasn't been done before. For example, did you go hiking? Would you like to go horseback riding?

Even better, something extreme makes you think about your life, for example, a parachute jump. Well, not with a parachute, but with an elastic band. Yes, even a flight hot-air balloon, finally! Imagine: a huge sky, wind (there is always wind at altitude) - and you are in a tiny, swinging basket above the ground! That's when you want to live! Immediately all thoughts about boredom and the impossibility of change will disappear somewhere, and every breath will become a thrill.

If you don’t want extreme sports, you can rethink the value of life in a different way: by visiting sick children. Orphans. Disabled people. Those who are much less fortunate. Of course they need care and attention. However, among them there are absolutely amazing personalities, next to whom it is a shame to be unhappy, having a healthy body, all limbs, eyes, hearing...

All these things will help you change your outlook on your life. Such a shake-up is sometimes necessary so as not to get hung up on your problems, which, compared to something else, often turn out to be so insignificant and stupid!

So simple

Well, four weeks that will change your life is not a long time, right? But everything can become completely different. By doing this monthly reboot, you can move to a new level. Understand that previously frightening things and insurmountable obstacles were only in your head. That you can do so much more. And most importantly, you want and can achieve more.

Big things can be seen from a distance. Allow yourself to step back from the wall against which you were vainly banging your head - and see that in fact it was just a cardboard wall, and most importantly, it was completely easy to get around it.

One month - is that difficult?

With this I say goodbye to you and hope that amazing changes await us all! See you in touch!

And for them to definitely happen, change your thinking:

No matter how old you are, it's never too late to change your life for the better. Read this article to learn how to make changes both external and internal to feel more fulfilled, happy, and peaceful.

Steps

Change of circumstances

1. Change your routine. Remember that your reality is the result of what you do on a daily basis, from what you eat for breakfast to where you go to work or school. If you are going to change the circumstances of your life, you will have to change what you do every day.

   • Even the smallest changes to your daily routine can help make life less boring. For example, take a different route to work, eat something new for breakfast, exercise before school instead of after it, or sit at a different cafe. Small changes like these may seem insignificant, but they will make your life more interesting in the long run by adding variety.
   • Ask yourself this question every day: Is what I'm doing (or not doing) helping me achieve what I want? This includes what you eat, whether you exercise or not, and how you spend most of your day. If the answer is no, then make the necessary changes.

2. Consider the path of your life. Whether you're at school, at work, looking for a job, volunteering, or traveling, take a look at your life and determine if it aligns with your values.

   • What are your hobbies, interests or goals? While it may take years to answer these questions, you can start by asking yourself what kind of legacy you want to leave behind. This question applies not only to your career, but also to your relationships. How would you like to be described and remembered by other people?
   • Determine whether your lifestyle aligns with your personal values. Chances are, to some extent, your life and your values ​​don't align. What could you do differently that would help you achieve your goals? You may want to consider changing your career, major, where you live, and how you manage your time and money.
3. • Work on the relationships you already have. Be sure to spend time with your loved ones and treat them with understanding and compassion. If you have neglected or quarreled with your loved one, then devote time to mending your relationship. You must be willing to make compromises and even admit that you were wrong.
   • Build new, constructive relationships with other people. If you feel lonely, then you will have to stop waiting for someone else to approach you. Take matters into your own hands and become active. Go out in public, strike up a conversation and remember to always smile. This is the best way to attract other people to you.

4. Get out of your comfort zone. Some people are more likely than others to get stuck in the comfort of routine and old habits. Regardless of your inhibitions or fears of change, people need variety to be happy. You must practice this daily on a small scale and also on a larger scale.

   • Try doing something that you don't do every day. Go to a show you've never been to, talk to a new person, eat something new, etc. You never know when you will discover something or someone who will end up having a life-changing impact on you.
   • Choose a new hobby or go to a new place. If you play an instrument or play any sport, push yourself to go beyond what you usually do. Run another mile, take a different route on a hike, explore new art styles.

   Changing Attitude

   1. Live in the present moment. The best way To feel happier in your life is to stop dwelling on the past and stop worrying about the future. If you suffer from anxiety or depression, it's probably because you're constantly doing one or both of these things and neglecting the present moment. If you find yourself constantly obsessing over negative memories, try the following exercise:

      • First, identify the memory and how it makes you feel. If this is a recent incident and you need to cry or vent, then do it. You can write about the event in a diary or talk about it with a loved one. After you have grieved enough about the memory, accept that it is over and nothing can be done to prevent it. Instead of being sad that it happened, be grateful that it is over and remember that it could have been worse. The next time that thought comes back into your head, acknowledge it, be grateful it's over, and let it go.
      • Although it is impossible to completely forget the past, many people tend to focus on negative or traumatic memories rather than positive ones. Remember all the good things that happened to you in the past. If it helps, make a list.

   2. Be positive. No matter what you have, where you are or who you are with, your perception your circumstances are much more important than those circumstances themselves. To put this into perspective, consider this fact: in any this moment There are other people in the world who have less money, less resources, fewer loved ones than you, and yet they are happier. Likewise, there are people who are richer than you, in better shape, with more resources, but feel less fulfilled than you.

      • Make it a habit to notice the positive aspects of any situation you find yourself in. If you start complaining about what's going on around you, counter every complaint you make with one or two positive observations.
      • Stop criticizing yourself and others. Again, everyone has both positive and negative qualities. This is a well-known fact. If you are constantly focused on negative qualities, for example, your spouse, then you will only notice them, and you will constantly be disappointed and irritated. Conversely, if you constantly remind yourself of the positive qualities of your spouse, then you will notice them and will feel grateful and happy.

   3. Don't compare yours own life with other people's lives. Part of what makes people feel dissatisfied with their lives is comparing their lives to the lives of others. People tend to compare the weak points in their lives with the positive points in other people's lives.

      • Get rid of envy. No one's life is perfect, no matter how it may seem on the outside. If you find yourself envying others for their money, their talents, or their relationships, remember that all of these people were struggling with difficulties and insecurities that may be even worse than your own.

      Change your appearance

      1. Get in shape. Regular exercise not only keeps you in top shape, but it also improves cardiovascular health, reduces the likelihood of certain diseases, gives you more energy, and even improves your sex life.

         • A healthy adult needs 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity per week. Moderate activity includes walking or leisurely swimming, and vigorous activity includes running, kickboxing or spinning.
         • You need to do strength training at least two days a week. Try powerlifting or floor exercises (crunches, push-ups, etc.) that use your own body as resistance.
         • Consider joining a local gym or a local sports team. Exercising with other people can help you stay motivated and make exercise more fun.

      2. Eat well. Remember that you are what you eat. Whether you want to lose weight or simply improve your overall health, what you eat matters.

         • Your diet should consist of fruits, vegetables, lean protein and whole grains. Read labels and stay away from products containing artificial colors, aspartame and other chemicals. Eat sugar and empty carbohydrates in moderation.
         • If you suffer from anxiety or depression, reduce your intake of alcohol and caffeine, as these substances can worsen these problems.

      3. Change your appearance. Changing your appearance will not only make you look better. Regular haircut change or purchase new clothes can make you feel like a new person. If you are not satisfied with your appearance or you are just bored with him, try changing everything.

         • Change your wardrobe. Get rid of clothes that make you feel old-fashioned, sloppy, or otherwise unhappy with yourself. Make an effort to look your best every day. This doesn't necessarily mean you have to dress smart or formal. You need to find clothes that suit your body shape, are stylish (in your opinion), affordable and appropriate for your age.
         • Change your hairstyle. Get a haircut or dye your hair a different color. Women with long hair might consider a layered hairstyle, bangs or a short bob.
         • Men can dramatically change their appearance with facial hair. Try growing a beard, mustache or sideburns. If you've always had a beard or mustache, try shaving it off for a change.
      • Try to balance your life between work and fun. If you are only busy with work, then you are missing out on the joys of life. If all you do is have fun, you'll eventually get bored and won't appreciate the fun times any more.
      • If you are married or in a long-term relationship where the magic is fading, then talk to your partner and decide together what changes you can make to spice up your love life.
      • Consider finding a positive role model to look up to. This person could be a teacher, a family member, or your favorite writer, actor, or musician. Positive influences in your life can help you find the motivation to overcome obstacles and achieve your dreams.
      • Go to bed early and get up early. Do something creative in the early hours. Make origami for your friend's child, write short story or go for a run.
      • If you want to change your appearance and don't know how, go to a stylist. Ask your hairdresser for advice on what hairstyle might suit you best.
      • This article is written with the assumption that a person generally has enough food for breakfast or a job to go to.

228 713 6 Life is amazing and beautiful in all its manifestations, with ups and downs, sorrows and joys, pros and cons... Simply because it exists. But if there are more and more downs and downs along the way, depression and apathy prevent you from being happy and do not let go of the feeling that everything has reached some kind of dead end, then it’s time to change your life for the better. And you need to do this, even when you don’t want to change at all.

We approached the preparation of this article very responsibly. It contains materials from various published publications, conferences, trainings and of course personal experience. The article is filled practical advice, the awareness and application of which will certainly lead to changes in your life. We'll tell you where to start. Each person must determine further actions for himself individually, in accordance with what he wants to receive. Well, let's go! How to change your life for the better.

How to change your life for the better

Where do thoughts about life changes come from?

Everyone wants to be happy, but in order to make the dream come true, sitting and waiting in one place is not enough. Therefore we have to act.

At first thoughts come that say that that’s enough, this is no longer possible! And they, in turn, materialize into actions. This, of course, with a responsible approach to your own life. After all, without doing anything to change the situation, you can bring yourself to a moral emptiness (which is very undesirable, since it is difficult to get out of there). In this regard, whenever the mind and soul are prompted to action, one should immediately begin making the first attempts to change one’s life.

First steps - where to start making changes ?

Everyone intuitively knows and feels that It's better to start with yourself. But it is very difficult to do this, and, in general, the first steps are always the most difficult. But the essence of the problem also lies in the fact that it is necessary to choose the only correct path along which it will be necessary to go, without turning, for some time. And also decide what exactly you would like to achieve. To do this you need:

1. Conduct a little research into your life and your own “I”. Think about what aspects you would like to correct, make better, what you don’t like at all, and what aspects it would be desirable to largely eliminate. It is easier to carry out such work not in the mind, but on a piece of paper, writing down all the exciting points, separating, of course, the positive from the negative.
2. Then you need to write down each position, that is, write opposite the desired one - why do you want to achieve this And how to achieve the goal. Those items on the list that have a negative connotation should also be written down, and then crossed out and forgotten about them.

It is precisely this action - writing down your desires, aspirations, needs on a piece of paper - that is the first step towards changing your life, becoming better! It's time for change! A checklist helps you most accurately determine your goal and understand what needs to be removed from your life and what needs to be added in order for it to satisfy you.

A start! But you cannot expect instant improvements, transformations and metamorphoses. This process is quite long and difficult. You need to have a lot of patience. Expecting quick changes can only ruin the whole mood, which will lead to an inevitable breakdown and a return to one’s “trough.”

To change your life you need to tirelessly, constantly work on yourself. It is possible that at first your head will be swarming with bad thoughts, the mind will seek all kinds of evidence that happiness is the lot of other people, etc. Almost everyone who has embarked on the path of positive change sins with this. The main thing is not to stop, pull yourself together and continue! And in order not to slip back into your previous attitudes again, you need to use the following recommendations and ways to change your life in a positive direction.

In order to achieve success in any business, you need to draw up a detailed plan actions. So, the first recommendation:

#1 Writing instructions

It is desirable that every maneuver on the way to the goal be considered in detail. This is important, because you can’t forget anything, everything needs to be done correctly. And then you can expect the desired effect.

Remember order in your head and thoughts = order in life! This should become an axiom on the path to change.

How to make a plan correctly? To do this, you should return to the very first step - your wish list. It has already outlined how to achieve each goal. And now this list will be very useful. Just so as not to miss a single detail and make detailed instructions from the notes.

Each list item can be presented in the form of a table. For example, there is a goal: lose weight .

Obstacles	What can help?	Actions	What will give you what you want?
1. Lack of willpower necessary to stick to the diet. 2. Food addiction. 3. Unhealthy snacks. 4. Eating problems.	1. Literature. 2. Internet. 3. Nutritionist, gastroenterologist and endocrinologist. 4. Marathon with a friend. 5. Motivating pictures.	1. Develop a menu for proper nutrition. 2. Gradually include sports (when?). 3. Weigh yourself once a week. 4. Come up with a reward system.	1. Health. 2. Beauty: clear skin, healthy complexion.

Of course, each table column can contain many more items. Everything is individual. It will also be useful to keep a diary or blog, where, in addition to the goals themselves, you can record your slightest achievements, describe your mistakes, etc.

#2 Mindset for the best results

Always, as soon as despondency and bad mood begin to gain ground again, you need to force yourself by force of will get back on the positive side. In any way: read affirmations, do something calming, listen to music, etc. It’s a good idea to always have some motivators on hand for such cases. At least just your own list, which lists all the good points that change will bring.

You always need to remember for what purposes everything was started. Don’t be shy to tell yourself out loud that everything will work out, write down your achievements. After all, they are quickly erased from memory in the face of even the smallest failures. Seeing the dynamics of positive changes in front of you, it will be much easier to survive the period of loss of strength.

How to proceed correctly at this stage? You need to eliminate negativity from your life.

1. Avoid quarrels and arguments. And, in general, from all sorts of clashes with people.
2. Always find a compromise solution. Or you can simply ignore the conflict situation.
3. Learn to enjoy the little things, pay attention only to the bright, kind, positive things around you. This leads to good changes and facilitates the transition to a new stage of one’s existence.
4. You need to let go of your past. Forgive yourself all the negative, sad moments, imperfect actions, etc. Now you should think about a new life, but you need to be “here and now.”

Of course, on the path to happiness, there will be breakdowns and explosions. But we must not allow them to cross out the entire path that has been made and return it to the level from which it began, if not lower. Constant work on yourself will not allow this to happen.

#3 Unnecessary and bad habits are a force pulling you back

This means not only alcohol, smoking, etc. But, in general, all habits that do not go into a new one. happy life. What could it be? It's simple:

• speak obscenities;
• going to bed late, constantly being in a state of extreme lack of sleep;
• forget promises;
• to be lazy;
• put everything off until tomorrow;
• there is a lot to eat or convey;
• watch TV often;
• play toys on the phone;
• forget to wash your hair :)
• biting nails, etc.

Everyone will continue the list for themselves. There are no ideal people, but no one stops you from striving for perfection. By getting rid of harmful things and acquiring useful things, you will feel better and more confident in yourself.. Getting rid of addictions is difficult, but fun and important process on the road to how to change your life for the better. This item must be included in the plan joyful changes. And today start replacing harmful things with useful ones. For example, normalize sleep, eliminate watching television from your daily routine, review your diet, etc. Over time (perhaps not immediately), the new habit will take root and bring you one step closer to a wonderful positive future. If you are familiar with this feeling, then remember it more often: the feeling when you realize that you have done a tremendous amount of work on yourself and have achieved a certain breakthrough! This will give you self-confidence, strength to move on, set new goals.

#4 Opening up to people - moving forward

• You can’t hide from people, your family, loved ones, friends, colleagues.. This refers to those who can encourage, support, and simply lift the spirit with their presence. If someone you know has something that is on your wish list, then you need to impartially consider the situation and think about what action allowed this person to have your dream. It’s better to ask how he went towards this goal and achieved it. Perhaps the advice will turn out to be practical, and today it will be possible to fit them into your own plan.

• You should communicate more with friends. It is not necessary to share your experiences and problems, especially if you don’t want to do this. You can simply recharge yourself with positive energy from a pleasant pastime and sweet conversations. The world seems much more beautiful when there is a person in the world whom you can rely on.
• But contacts with angry, pessimistic, and sad people should be significantly limited. And if possible, avoid them completely.

A good incentive for personal growth is the person next to you, to whom you need to grow, and not fall!

By the way, new acquaintances also allow you to move forward, changing previous ideas and attitudes towards new directions in life. After all, they teach you to open up to the world.

#5 Interests and hobbies are what you need!

We need to remember what we were interested in as a child. This is often where the calling lies. For example, you really liked collecting autumn leaves or clumsy sticks that looked like animals, sewing or knitting, decorating old furniture, cooking or baking, drawing something on whatman paper, teaching other children new foreign words, etc. Or maybe not in childhood, but in adulthood and completely conscious life I wanted to do something, but somehow I never got around to it or was overcome by doubts. But any person who finds himself in what he loves is happy. So why don't you become happy too!?

In addition, interests can be quite mundane. If you enjoy reading, doing handicrafts, or playing sports, then it’s worth setting aside time for this. And when it seems that nothing interests you, then it only seems. A huge number of things exist in this world in order to distract from sad thoughts and not allow despondency to win and push you back to the beginning of the path. There are many interesting courses and activities that can inspire. And inspiration brings joy!

Step by step comes the realization that there is no turning back, that the heart is completely open to change, the best and most beautiful changes in life. But the recommendations listed are not quite enough to turn the world upside down. in a good way. Therefore, more advice that will change your life is vital.

How to start new life and change yourself? You don't need to be a superman to do this. All methods are incredibly simple. The main thing is to start and over time there will be no trace of pessimism, suffering and complaints.

1. No best methods to change your life will help if you constantly clog your body. It is necessary to pay attention to quality and... We are what we eat! It is not necessary to eat only vegetables and fruits from your own garden and not drink alcohol at all. You just need to limit the flow of garbage inside as much as possible.
2. It's worth starting to learn another language. This will not only expand your worldview in amazing ways, but will also be a great opportunity for professional change. Sometimes, when trying to remember a new word, you start to think about its meaning and look for synonyms. All this leads to the development of thinking, forces us to go beyond the ordinary, thus leading to change. And besides, now knowledge of English is more a necessity than a whim.
3. Need to read more. Not magazines and other light reading, but something for development in your specialty. Or classics, sociology, psychology, history, etc. You don’t have to read, but listen. The main thing is to have at least one book in 7 days. That works out to about 52 per year. Fifty-two works that are sure to change your life.
4. Weekends should not be spent on the couch. Anywhere - in the gym, in nature, in a museum, at the cinema, at an exhibition, in another city or visiting relatives. You can even jump with a parachute, learn to ride a horse, touch type, etc. The main thing is to accumulate more impressions, they fill life, with them it becomes much more interesting. No need to sit still. We need to expand our horizons and the area of ​​contact with the world. Change starts with movement.
5. A personal blog or diary will help you deal with problems faster than they become unbearable.. Their benefit lies in the ability to reason, think and analyze. And it’s better to write in them about what you love most. And if Personal diary maybe no one will read it, then the blog will certainly find its fans, and will also help you earn extra money. And doing what you like and getting paid for it is the dream of many. After all, very often the opposite is true.
6. If you learn to manage your time, life will become much easier. We must develop the habit of making decisions immediately, acting today, and not tomorrow or “later.” Everything that is planned must be done or transferred to the shoulders of another. But, the main thing is that the planned tasks are completed and not postponed indefinitely. Otherwise, they will become a dead weight pulling you down. And we need to fly up! It would also be a good idea to remember everything unfulfilled and write it down. Understand whether there is a need under the given circumstances to complete these matters. If not, then with peace of mind you can cross them out. If yes, then do them soon. This will bring incredible relief and release a lot of new and much needed strength.
7. You should give up stupid spending time on the Internet, especially games, which steal not only time, but also life. If you use the limitless possibilities of the network, then only for good - for development, training, work, etc. And it’s better to communicate with friends live. What could be more beautiful personal meetings, conversations, tactile sensations, laughter, smiles? Shared pleasant memories are created this way, not by emoticons on the World Wide Web.
8. Stopping being interested in news does not mean falling behind the world. Everyone will talk about the main thing. And everything secondary and superficial only interferes with life, causing unnecessary worries, worries and overshadowing something really important. It's all confusing.
9. It is not for nothing that there is such a proverb - whoever gets up early, God gives him. Having learned to spend the morning hours profitably, you will very soon notice how much more things you can accomplish in a day. Much more than when you go to bed late. To get enough sleep a person needs 7 hours, provided that he leads healthy image life. If you go to bed at 23.00 and wake up at 06.00, then during your waking hours you can turn the whole world upside down. Today, more and more authors and personal growth coaches advise starting your day as early as possible. People are showing amazing results! There is no limit to admiration when all the work is done before lunch and there is time left to do something else or do something for fun.
10. Traveling is one of the ways to change yourself and your life. You don’t have to fly to distant Australia to understand how diverse the world is. You don’t need expensive tours to realize that there is no point in considering your small space as the whole Universe - it is much wider and goes beyond the limits of consciousness. Traveling makes a person more tolerant, more forgiving of his own and others’ weaknesses, wiser and calmer.
11. Creativity allows you to completely change your worldview. Creativity develops the right hemisphere, which helps us do several things at once without ignoring details. It doesn’t matter what type of creativity you do. The process itself is so captivating that there is no time left for sadness, melancholy and despondency. Much of what seemed unrealistically important and brought pain recedes and becomes secondary, and then completely disappears without a trace if a person is passionate about something. You can do:

• photography,
• drawing,
• singing,
• dancing,
• design, etc.

The main thing is that the work should be enjoyable. Perhaps in the future it will be able to generate income. Realizing yourself in something is very important!

Creative activity has amazing therapeutic properties. It allows you to experience the pain of loss, melancholy, and hopelessness.

1. Sports activities tone the body and provoke a surge of happiness hormones(and improve metabolism). And this is exactly what we are trying to achieve. Therefore regular exercise stress should definitely be one of the points in the plan to change your life.
2. Need to get out of your comfort zone. To get started, you don't need to do anything extreme. It’s just worth visiting a place you’ve never been to, getting to work a different way, changing your appearance or image. Even simple rearrangement of furniture helps. Sometimes exit is a painful process, but more often than not it is what encourages you to start a new life. This is quite interestingly written in the book of the same name “How to get out of your comfort zone” by Brian Tracy (MYTH publishing house). It is worth reading for anyone who has decided to take the path of changing their life.

1. It is necessary to restore order in the financial sector. Control of expenses and income, investments and other economic aspects must certainly be present in the plan of a person who wants to change his financial situation. Since nothing can unsettle you like financial difficulties. A blow to the wallet stops us on the path to change and at such moments even thinking about creativity and healthy eating I do not want. Include the problem of money in your Checklist: take on an additional part-time job, pay a loan on time, change jobs, ask for a raise, etc.
2. We need to throw away unnecessary things. Do not take them to the barn or garage, but rather get rid of them or give them to someone. And constantly maintain balance - by acquiring new things, removing old ones. Old things are the ballast of the past. Which follows you until you remove it from your eyes. To remove it, you need to throw it away. Psychologists advise going through your things as often as possible and throwing away those that you have not used for more than one year. The Internet is replete with a large number of projects about getting rid of unnecessary things that really produce results.

An interesting interview with a blogger who promotes and proves by personal example that you can and should get rid of unnecessary things, as well as what this leads to.

1. It is important to be able to accept the world “with all its giblets.” Refuse assessments and analysis, take a neutral position, or better yet a positive one. Very good at teaching you to see in everything positive sides Elinor Porter's wonderful book Pollyanna. You should read it to the end, this girl, the heroine of the work, will teach anyone to enjoy life, even the most inveterate pessimist.
2. Leave the past in the past. This needs to be done! To move on! No matter how good or bad this time is, it will drag you back, which is dangerous for positive change. We must say “thank you” to him for the lessons, experience, good impressions, pleasant memories and other positive moments and let him go in peace. The past has no place in the present, much less a happy future.

And you also need:

• give more than take,
• share your knowledge,
• do not be afraid and do not stop in front of obstacles,
• do what you like;
• develop;
• study;
• change from within.

Of course, that's not all. There is no limit to perfection. But all the ways to change your life for the better come down to the fact that you need to change yourself first. And then the world will be transformed in response!

But what prevents you from starting to live in a new way? The enemies of positive change are the mistakes reformers make. It is they who lead to the fact that any positive decision ends in defeat and a return to the original position, if not worse.

5 mistakes that stop positive change

1. The main aggressor opposing positive changes is our brain. Very often people forget that its function is to save lives, and not to make a person financially secure and happy in all areas. And he perceives the usual way of life, the established way of life, as a safe niche for existence. Anything beyond this will be met with hostility. That is he considers everything new dangerous and threatening to human life.

Therefore, when making an important decision to begin positive changes, it is important to first agree with yourself. Failures will be avoided not by the specificity of goals (although this is also extremely important), but by the simplicity of the steps to achieve it. That is, the most immodest aspiration should be described in such a way that our defender does not have the desire to give a signal to record the dream as unrealizable.

This influence itself is easy to notice when, for one specific positive thought in terms of changes for the better, there are a million thoughts-excuses from implementing the goal in life. For example, have you decided to run every morning? What about:

• Bad weather?
• Will people watch?
• There are no normal sneakers!
• I have absolutely no strength to do anything today!

Therefore, you need to think through everything down to the smallest detail!

1. It is often believed that to start changes you just need to make a decision and that’s it, then somehow everything will work out on its own. Of course, a solution is necessary. But to realize a goal, it must be specific. Well, it’s not enough to say: “That’s it, tomorrow I’m starting a new life!”, without having an idea of ​​what it will be like in principle. If there is no clearly defined task, there is no understanding of what exactly the result should be, then all the advice on how to change your life for the better may turn out to be useless. Because the lack of specificity deprives the brain of the opportunity to understand the goal and provide a solution to the problem in the form of steps to action.

1. The third mistake is the desire to achieve something without an appropriate supportive environment. This is real, of course, but it will require a huge amount of mental strength and nerves, the presence of the most iron willpower in the world and persistent, unbreakable motivation.

There will always be someone (and more than one) who will undermine confidence and try hard to persuade you to quit something new. life path. Perhaps these will be close friends. Of course, you shouldn’t break off an expensive relationship. But enlisting the support of a community that shares views on a new life is very important.

1. Another mistake that many people make when embarking on the path of change is the lack of encouragement. They should be for even the slightest achievements. Because everything needs balance. And it is necessary that the discomfort from changes (and it will be) is equalized by pleasant, albeit small, gifts to yourself. For example, after a week of proper nutrition - a good body cream that you have long dreamed of. In a month - a beautiful dress. This is, of course, for women. Men have their own stimulants and motivations.

1. Mistake #5 - not telling anyone about your decision to start a new life. This happens because of the fear that nothing will work out. And in fact it leads to the fact that it is not possible to implement the plan. A saving thought arises in my head: “It’s good that I didn’t tell anyone anything,” etc. In general, a vicious circle. It is not right. You need to speak about your decision, loudly and confidently. This fact imposes some obligations and indicates the seriousness of intentions. And gives strength and energy for success!

Boldness and courage in any endeavor are components of future success. But besides this, some other aspects are important.

1. Start your day right. Avoid office conversations in the morning tapa “I’m so tired of morning traffic jams. The workday would soon be over. The children don’t listen to me at all, I’m exhausted. I'm completely exhausted." Think about the pleasant things in your life, smile more often. Mentally record every time you think about something negative and transform it into something positive.
2. Appreciate what you have. We constantly want to achieve something, to get something that doesn’t exist at the moment. Always. Having acquired one, we immediately begin to think about the next item on the wish list, which is endlessly updated. And there is no time to simply be happy with what is. And it turns out that life is a game where you have to constantly think about how to move to another level. But still, it is very important to stop at least for a short moment and thank the higher powers for everything. The ability to thank yourself, God, the Universe for having an important moment that is often underestimated. Saying phrases of gratitude to yourself allows you to realize the good things you have and gives you strength to receive new things.
3. Take responsibility for yourself. You need to realize that everything that happens is the result of a choice once made. There is no need to blame others for your own problems. On the contrary, you should get together and start right now to change the situation created by your own hands and thoughts. And continue to remember that no one else can control your life, cope with obstacles and hold accountable for your actions and actions. It's difficult, but necessary. A third party can influence the choice, but only you make it yourself!
4. Help other people, take care of loved ones. Whatever one may say, love begets love, and a good deed done always returns to its source.
5. Listen to your inner voice, trust your intuition.
6. Forgive yourself and others. We all know that forgiveness is the best medicine for the soul. We know, but we continue to carry grievances in our hearts for years, destroying ourselves and our lives with this poison.
7. Eliminate forever from your existence such phenomena as laziness and fear. They are the main obstacles on the road to happiness. Laziness arises because you cannot be transported to another life with one click. To do this, you need to work constantly, constantly act, which you really don’t want to do. But fear can only lead to the fact that, having never decided to step into a new life, you will have to end the old one, without ever knowing what real happiness and joy are.
8. Don't beat yourself up if things don't work out. It is better to praise your efforts and encourage you to take further action, rather than convince yourself of your own worthlessness and abandon all your endeavors.
9. Accept what is impossible to change. Leave it alone. Otherwise you can have all your own best years spend it on fighting something that is not worth it.
10. You need to live your own life, not someone else's. Therefore, you should determine your true desires and goals, and go only towards them, and not fulfill someone’s will imposed from the outside.
11. End the day right. Never lie down in bad mood and under no circumstances quarrel with loved ones before going to bed. Go to bed on time, even if you feel that you still have the strength to work. It will be counted for you in the morning.
12. Remember that there is always potential within to change your life for the better. And for this you don’t need “tomorrow”, “Monday”, “when I lose weight”, etc. You can and should start right now!

Go back to your wish list. Review it again and know that all of this is achievable. But you need to understand that even the most shabby dream will remain so if you do not act and continue to live in the power of stereotypes. Expand the boundaries of your consciousness, learn, develop, change yourself. And then amazing changes will not keep you waiting.

A must-watch video on how to change your life. "Instructions for life"

Programmer, investor and entrepreneur James Altucher, who has already launched several startups, published on TechCrunch very simple, useful and honest instructions for those who want to radically change their field of activity, but do not know where to start. Below is the translation of this article.

Here's what it's like: I've been down a few times, I've come back to life a few times, I've done it again and again. I started new careers. People who knew me then don't know me now. And so on.

I started my career from scratch several times. Sometimes - because my interests changed. Sometimes - because all the bridges were burned completely, and sometimes because I desperately needed money. And sometimes because I hated everyone at my old job or they hated me.

There are other ways to reinvent yourself, so take what I say with a grain of salt. This is what worked in my case. I've seen this work for about a hundred other people. According to interviews, according to letters that have been written to me over the past 20 years. You can try it - or not.

1. Change never ends

Every day you reinvent yourself. You are always on the move. But every day you decide where exactly you are moving: forward or backward.

2. Start with a clean slate

All your past shortcuts are just vanity. Were you a doctor? An Ivy League graduate? Owned millions? Did you have a family? Nobody cares. You have lost everything. You are zero. Don't try to say that you are something more.

3. You need a mentor

Otherwise you will go down. Someone needs to show you how to move and breathe. But don't worry about finding a mentor (see below).

4. Three types of mentors

Straight. Someone ahead of you who will show you how they got there. What does "this" mean? Wait. By the way, the mentors are not like Jackie Chan’s character in the movie “The Karate Kid.” Most mentors will hate you.

Indirect. Books. Movies. You can get 90% of your instruction from books and other materials. 200–500 books equals a good mentor. When people ask me, “What is a good book to read?” - I don’t know what to answer them. There are 200-500 good books worth reading. I would turn to inspirational books. Whatever you believe, strengthen your beliefs with daily reading.

Anything can be a mentor. If you are a nobody and want to reinvent yourself, everything you look at can become a metaphor for your desires and goals. The tree you see, with its roots out of sight and the groundwater that feeds it, is a metaphor for programming if you connect the dots together. And everything you look at will “connect the dots.”

5. Don't worry if nothing excites you.

You care about your health. Start with him. Take small steps. You don't need passion to succeed. Do your work with love and success will become a natural symptom.

6. Time it takes to reinvent yourself: five years

Here is a description of these five years.

First year: you're floundering and reading everything and just starting to do something.

Second year: You know who you need to talk to and maintain working connections with. You do something every day. You finally understand what your own Monopoly game map looks like.

Third year: you are good enough to start making money. But for now, perhaps not enough to earn a living.

Fourth year: you provide for yourself well.

Fifth year: you make a fortune.

I got frustrated sometimes in the first four years. I asked myself: “Why hasn’t this happened yet?” - He hit the wall with his fist and broke his hand. It's okay, just keep going. Or stop and choose a new field of activity. It doesn't matter. Someday you will die, and then it will be really difficult to change.

7. If you do it too fast or too slow, something is going wrong.

A good example is Google.

8. It's not about the money

But money is a good measure. When people say, “It's not about the money,” they need to be sure they have some other unit of measurement. “How about you just do what you love?” There will be many days ahead when you won't like what you do. If you do it out of pure love, it will take much longer than five years. Happiness is just a positive reaction from your brain. Some days you will be unhappy. Your brain is just a tool, it does not define who you are.

9. When is it okay to say, “I’m doing X”? When does X become your new profession?

10. When can I start doing X?

Today. If you want to paint, buy canvas and paints today, start buying 500 books one at a time and paint pictures. If you want to write, do these three things:

Read

If you want to start your own business, start coming up with a business idea. Re-creating yourself begins today. Every day.

11. When will I earn money?

In a year, you will have invested 5,000–7,000 hours into this business. This is good enough to put you in the top 200-300 in the world in any specialty. Getting into the top 200 almost always provides a livelihood. By the third year you will understand how to make money. By the fourth, you will be able to increase your turnover and provide for yourself. Some people stop there.

12. By the fifth year you will be in the top 30-50, so you can make a fortune

13. How can I tell if it’s mine?

Any field in which you can read 500 books. Go to the bookstore and find it. If you get bored after three months, go to the bookstore again. It’s normal to get rid of illusions, that’s the meaning of defeat. Success is better than failure, but failures teach us the most important lessons. Very important: don’t rush. For my interesting life you can change yourself many times. And you will fail many times. It's fun too. These attempts will turn your life into a story book, not a textbook. Some people want their life to be a textbook. Mine is a book of stories, for better or worse. Therefore, changes occur every day.

14. The decisions you make today will be in your biography tomorrow.

Make interesting decisions and you will have an interesting biography.

15. The decisions you make today will become part of your biology.

16. What if I like something exotic? Biblical archeology or wars of the 11th century?

Repeat the above steps and by the fifth year you can become rich. We don't know how. There is no need to look for the end of the road when you are only taking the first steps.

17. What if my family wants me to become an accountant?

How many years of your life have you promised to give to your family? Ten? All life? Then wait next life. It's up to you to choose.

Choose freedom over family. Freedom, not prejudice. Freedom, not government. Freedom, not satisfying other people's needs. Then you will satisfy yours.

18. My mentor wants me to follow his path.

This is fine. Master his path. Then do it your way. Sincerely.

Luckily, no one is holding a gun to your head. Then you would have to comply with his demands until he puts the gun down.

19. My husband (wife) is worried: who will take care of our children?

A person who changes himself always finds free time. Part of changing yourself is finding moments and reframing them in the way you would like to use them.

20. What if my friends think I'm crazy?

What kind of friends are these?

21. What if I want to be an astronaut?

This is not changing yourself. This is a specific profession. If you like space, there are many careers. Richard Branson wanted to be an astronaut and created Virgin Galactic.

22. What if I like to drink and hang out with friends?

Read this post again in a year.

23. What if I'm busy? Am I cheating on my spouse or betraying my partner?

Read this post again in two or three years, when you are broke, without a job and everyone has turned their backs on you.

24. What if I don’t know how to do anything at all?

Read point 2 again.

25. What if I don’t have a diploma or it’s of no use?

Read point 2 again.

26. What if I need to focus on paying off my mortgage or other loan?

Read point 19 again.

27. Why do I always feel like an outsider?

Albert Einstein was an outsider. No one in authority would hire him to work. Everyone sometimes feels like an impostor. The greatest creativity comes from skepticism.

28. I can't read 500 books. Name one book you should read for inspiration

Then you can give up right away.

29. What if I’m too sick to change myself?

The change will spur the production of beneficial substances in your body: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. Move forward and you may not get completely better, but you will become healthier. Don't use health as an excuse.

Finally, rebuild your health first. Get more sleep. Eat better. Play sports. These are the key steps to change.

30. What if my partner set me up and I’m still getting married to him?

Drop the lawsuit and never think about him again. Half the problem was you.

31. What if I am sent to prison?

Wonderful. Re-read point 2. Read more books in prison.

32. What if I am a timid person?

Make your weakness your strength. Introverts are better at listening and concentrating, and they know how to evoke sympathy.

33. What if I can’t wait five years?

If you plan to be alive in five years, you can start today.

34. How to make contacts?

Build concentric circles. You should be in the middle. The next circle is friends and family. Then - online communities. Then - people you know from informal meetings and tea parties. Then there are conference participants and opinion leaders in their field. Then - mentors. Then there are the clients and those who make money. Start making your way through these circles.

35. What if my ego starts getting in the way of what I'm doing?

In six months or a year you will return to point 2.

36. What if I'm passionate about two things at once? And I can't choose?

Combine them and you will be the best in the world at this combination.

37. What if I am so passionate that I want to teach others what I am learning myself?

Read lectures on YouTube. Start with an audience of one and see if it grows.

38. What if I want to earn money in my sleep?

In the fourth year, start outsourcing what you do.

39. How to find mentors and experts?

Once you have enough knowledge (after 100-200 books), write 10 ideas for 20 different potential mentors.

None of them will answer you. Write 10 more ideas for 20 new mentors. Repeat this every week.

40. What if I can’t come up with ideas?

Then practice it. The thinking muscles tend to atrophy. They need to be trained.

I will have a hard time reaching my toes if I don't practice every day. I need to do this exercise every day for some time before this pose becomes easy for me. Don't expect to have good ideas from day one.

42. What if I do everything you say, but nothing seems to work?

It will work out. Just wait. Keep changing yourself every day.

Don't try to find the end of the road. You won't be able to see it in the fog. But you can see the next step, and you will realize that if you take it, you will eventually reach the end of the road.

43. What if I start to feel depressed?

Sit in silence for an hour a day. You need to get back to your core.

If you think it sounds stupid, don't do it. Move on with your depression.

44. What if there is no time to sit in silence?

Then sit in silence for two hours a day. This is not meditation. You just have to sit.

45. What if I get scared?

Sleep 8-9 hours a night and never engage in gossip. Sleep is the first secret good health. Not the only one, but the first. Some people write to me that four hours of sleep is enough for them or that in their country those who sleep a lot are considered lazy. These people will fail and die young.

When it comes to gossip, our brains are biologically programmed to have 150 friends. And when you talk to one of your friends, you might gossip about one of the other 150. And if you don't have 150 friends, your brain will want to read gossip magazines until it thinks it has 150 friends.

Don't be as stupid as your brain.

46. ​​What if it seems to me that I will never succeed?

Practice gratitude for 10 minutes a day. Don't suppress your fear. Notice your anger.

But also allow yourself to be grateful for what you have. Anger never inspires, but gratitude never inspires. Gratitude is the bridge between your world and parallel universe, where all creative ideas live.

47. What if I constantly have to deal with some personal squabbles?

Find other people to be around.

A person who changes himself will constantly encounter people who try to suppress him. The brain is afraid of change - it may be unsafe. Biologically, the brain wants safety for you, and change is risk. So your brain will give you people trying to stop you.

Learn to say no.