The child's mother and father do not have the right to be with him. It is worth noting that a husband and wife cannot be the adoptive parents of one child. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, brothers and other relatives are allowed to become godfathers or godmothers. It is recommended to take blood relatives as godparents. It is believed that the blood connection becomes stronger, since the adoptive parents are the second parents of the child.
Orthodox Christians
A person who is an Orthodox Christian and regularly receives communion can become a recipient. Atheists and others religious directions They cannot be godparents. At the same time, in mandatory must know the Creed and read it during baptism. The recipient will also be required to read a daily prayer for the godson, since he is now responsible for the spiritual in the future. Regular attendance at church and education in the Christian faith is an integral part of the responsibilities of a godfather.
Age
People under the age of fourteen cannot become godparents, since they do not have the spiritual experience that would be required to instruct a newborn in the right faith.
Church servants
The restriction applies only to the father or mother of the child, who cannot be godparents to their own child. Also, spouses are not allowed to become spiritual parents of one child (if a couple is just planning to get married, they are also prohibited). Other relatives, including siblings of the child's parents, as well as their parents, may well take on the responsibilities of godparents. Also, you should not choose priests or monks or young children as godparents. In addition, adoptive parents also cannot become godparents to their stepdaughters and stepsons.
By the way, in relation to godmothers there is a ban on the participation of ladies in the sacrament of Baptism during the period of monthly impurity.
What should godparents give to a child during the sacrament of Baptism?
It is usually stated that godparents must purchase for the rite of Baptism. Naturally, if a person who has been chosen for such an honorable position does not want to make a mistake, it is better to consult with his parents in advance.
Also, godparents often purchase silver ones for their godchildren. Such a gift is especially relevant if the baby is baptized at the age when his first tooth emerges.
The godfather should establish contact with his godson as much as possible. After all, he becomes not only the spiritual mentor of the baptized person, but also a kind of backup for the biological parents. After all, one of the responsibilities of a godfather is to raise a child in the event that the natural parents die or are unable, due to certain circumstances, to fulfill their parental responsibilities.
More from ancient Rus' In our country, a tradition has emerged of baptizing children, without giving them the opportunity to choose another faith.
Thus, in Russia, the majority of citizens adhere to Orthodox faith.
In order to baptize a child, you must choose godparents. And the Orthodox Church strictly sets the requirements for who can be godparents, so it is important to know and follow these rules.
The sacrament itself is performed directly in the church. There are no age restrictions for joining Orthodoxy, therefore this ritual can be committed by a person at any age.
But according to Russian customs, parents of newborns try to baptize their children in the first year of life. Thus, they place their baby under the protection of the Almighty.
Godparents must be present during the baptism ceremony. They are considered to be people who are in spiritual closeness with their godson. They should be the child's mentors in the future.
At the same time, it is believed that it is not at all necessary that there be two parents. One is enough, but for boys there must be a godfather, and for girls a godmother.
The presence of the parents in the church is not necessary, but if the child is small, then it will be much calmer for him to be close to his family in an unfamiliar place.
During the baptism process, the godparent must hold the child and be constantly with him. If the baby is small, then he is completely immersed in holy water.
If a person is already an adult, then he simply must plunge his head three times into holy water. After bathing the child, the godparent must pick him up, dry him and put on new clothes.
Before choosing godparents for your child, as well as agreeing to become a godfather for someone, it is important to understand the very essence of this rite and your further responsibilities towards the godson.
You cannot simply attend the ceremony and then forget about the responsibility to the child that is assigned by faith.
Baptism itself is called the second birth of a person. At this moment his spiritual world is born. Since faith implies that the life of the soul does not end after death, being in a human body, it should not accumulate sins within itself.
That is why the church imposes the following responsibilities on godparents:
The problem for many families is modern world is that their children undergo the rite of baptism, but in fact they do not see the embodiment of Christian ideas in the family.
If the family is not involved in the faith, and even more so if the basic commandments are violated, it will be much more difficult for the child to perceive life in accordance with these commandments.
Most churches now do not perform the baptism ceremony until the godparents have completed special courses.
This measure was created so that people are aware of the full responsibility of this step and are able to refuse before they assume their responsibilities to the Almighty.
After completing the courses, people become truly ready for the sacrament, and they understand what they should do after baptism throughout their lives.
Knowing all the responsibilities assigned to godparents, you need to choose those people who are most suitable for fulfilling them.
But it is also important to consider certain points:
- The religion of the godparents themselves.
- Family connection with the future godson.
- The family connection between the godparents themselves.
- Special periods for women.
- Age of godparents.
To take these features into account, you need to know who cannot be godparents according to church laws:
The question also often arises about whether it is possible to be pregnant at the sacrament of baptism? The Church does not prohibit the entry of women carrying a child under their hearts, and also does not prohibit women from becoming godmother.
Knowing all these features, as well as your close circle of friends and family, it can be quite difficult to choose someone.
Very often it turns out that among possible options godparents turn out to be the same people for many relatives and friends.
Therefore, it turns out that the same person is often offered to become godfather several times for different children.
And two main questions arise:
This is why courses for godparents, now organized by many churches, are important. Because, despite the fact that in 2019 it is becoming increasingly fashionable to baptize a child, as well as assign him influential godparents, the most important thing is forgotten, this is the essence of baptism itself.
The financial status of the appointed godparent is not so important as his lifestyle, which must comply with biblical covenants.
The godparent must be a spiritual mentor and show his godson by example how to live and what spiritual principles must be observed in any situation.
It is also important to know that you cannot change godparents after baptism.. Chosen parents become parents for life. Sometimes it happens that after baptism the godparent greatly changed his lifestyle for the worse.
But in this case, the godson himself and his parents must pray for the godparent’s deliverance from sins and try to put him on the right path.
No one has the right to refuse such a godparent. It is impossible to re-baptize. Therefore, it is very important to choose reliable godparents for your children.
However, in cases where the godparent renounced Orthodoxy, accepted another faith, or became an atheist, then such a sacred union will be considered dissolved.
Similarly, we can evaluate those cases when the godparent has sunk to the most forbidden sins, which are prohibited by the Testaments.
In this case, it is implied that this person does not want to live according to the precepts of the Bible, and also does not want to be an example for his godson.
In this case, the natural parents can ask other godly people to take charge of their child's spiritual lifestyle. It is imperative to inform the holy father about this situation before the ceremony itself.
Many godparents like to pamper their godchildren with expensive gifts in order to win their favor and bring them closer spiritually.
But you need to understand that this is not the purpose of godparents. Parents should not choose godparents based on the size of their wallet.
The most the best gifts that the church mentions are:
This is exactly what gifts from godparents to their godchildren should look like. But besides this, the church does not prohibit giving other gifts that will delight the child. But still, the main emphasis should be placed on the spiritual education of the godson.
It is also believed that the most important date for the gift are the name day of the godson's guardian angel. During the sacrament of baptism, a person who converts to Orthodoxy receives a second name.
It may coincide with his real name, if this name is in Orthodox book names And if the name is missing, then the child will be assigned a different name from this book.
Each such name has a name day date. If the selected name has several dates during the year when name days are celebrated, the date closest to the Orthodox person’s birthday is selected. It is on this date that godparents must give gifts to their godson.
Knowing all the nuances of the sacrament, as well as the requirements of the church for godparents, it is important to approach the choice of a godparent very responsibly.
It is better to make them a responsible relative than an influential family friend. Because financial values in this case are not as important as spiritual ones.
Video: Godparents. Responsibilities of a godfather. Baptism in church
The Sacrament of Baptism: answers to readers' questions
Why are children baptized?
What are the responsibilities of godparents? Can a girl become a girl’s godmother?
Is it possible to refuse to be a godfather? In what cases can baptism be denied?
The Sacrament of Baptism: answers to questions
What is baptism? Why is it called a sacrament?
Baptism is one of the seven sacraments of the Orthodox Church, in which the believer, by immersing the body three times in water with the invocation of the name of the Holy Trinity - the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, dies to a life of sin, and is reborn by the Holy Spirit to Eternal Life. Of course, this action has a basis in Holy Scripture: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God” (John 3:5). Christ says in the Gospel: “Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved; and whoever does not believe will be condemned” (Mark 16:16).
So, baptism is necessary for a person to be saved. Baptism is a new birth for spiritual life in which a person can achieve the Kingdom of Heaven. And it is called a sacrament because through it, in a mysterious, incomprehensible way for us, the invisible saving power of God - grace - acts on the person being baptized. Like other sacraments, baptism is divinely ordained. The Lord Jesus Christ Himself, sending the apostles to preach the Gospel, taught them to baptize people: “Go and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19). Having been baptized, a person becomes a member of the Church of Christ and can now begin the rest of the church sacraments.
Is it possible to baptize infants, because they do not have independent faith?
It’s absolutely true that young children do not have independent, conscious faith. But don’t the parents who brought their child for baptism in the temple of God have it? Won't they instill in their child faith in God from childhood? It is obvious that parents have such a belief, and, most likely, will instill it in their child. In addition, the child will also have godparents - recipients from the baptismal font, who vouch for him and undertake to raise their godchild in the Orthodox faith. Thus, infants are baptized not according to their own faith, but according to the faith of their parents and godparents who brought the child to baptism.
The prototype of New Testament baptism was Old Testament circumcision. IN Old Testament On the eighth day, babies were brought to the temple for circumcision. By this, the child’s parents showed their and his faith and belonging to God’s chosen people. Christians can say the same about baptism in the words of John Chrysostom: “Baptism constitutes the most obvious difference and separation of the faithful from the unfaithful.” Moreover, there is a basis for this in the Holy Scriptures: “Circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the sinful body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ; being buried with Him in baptism” (Col. 2:11-12). That is, baptism is dying and burial to sin and resurrection to perfect life with Christ.
When should children be baptized?
There are no specific rules in this matter. But usually children are baptized on the 40th day after birth, although this can be done earlier or later. The main thing is not to postpone baptism until for a long time without emergency. It would be wrong to deprive a child of such a great sacrament for the sake of prevailing circumstances.
Is it possible to baptize children during fasting days?
Of course you can! But technically it doesn’t always work out. In some churches, during the days of Great Lent, baptisms are performed only on Saturdays and Sundays. This practice is most likely based on the fact that weekday Lenten services are very long, and the intervals between morning and evening services can be short. On Saturdays and Sundays, services are somewhat shorter in time, and the priests can devote more time to the needs. Therefore, when planning the day of baptism, it is better to find out in advance about the rules observed in the church where the child will be baptized. Well, if we talk at all about the days on which you can be baptized, then there are no restrictions in this matter. Children can be baptized on any day when there are no technical obstacles to this.
How many godparents should a child have?
Church rules require that the child have a recipient of the same gender as the person being baptized. That is, for a boy it is a man, and for a girl it is a woman. In tradition, both godparents are usually chosen for the child: father and mother. This does not contradict the canons in any way. It will also not be a contradiction if, if necessary, the child has a recipient of a different gender than the person being baptized. The main thing is that this is a truly religious person who would subsequently conscientiously fulfill his duties in raising a child in the Orthodox faith. Thus, the person being baptized can have one or, at most, two recipients.
What are the requirements for godparents?
The first and main requirement is the undoubted Orthodox faith of the recipients. Godparents must be churchgoers, living a church life. After all, they will have to teach their godson or goddaughter the basics of the Orthodox faith and give spiritual instructions. If they themselves are ignorant in these matters, then what can they teach the child? Godparents are entrusted with the enormous responsibility of spiritual education of their godchildren, for they, together with their parents, are responsible for it before God. This responsibility begins with renouncing “Satan and all his works, and all his angels, and all his service, and all his pride.” Thus, the godparents, being responsible for their godson, make a promise that their godchild will be a Christian.
If the godson is already an adult and himself utters the words of renunciation, then the godparents present at the same time become guarantors before the Church of the fidelity of his words. Godparents are obliged to teach their godchildren to resort to the saving Sacraments of the Church, mainly confession and communion, they must give them knowledge about the meaning of worship, the peculiarities church calendar, about the power of grace miraculous icons and other shrines. Godparents must teach those received from the font to attend church services, fast, pray and observe other provisions of the church charter. But the main thing is that godparents should always pray for their godson. Obviously, strangers cannot be godparents, for example, some compassionate grandmother from the church, whom the parents persuaded to “hold” the baby at baptism.
But you should also not take simply close people or relatives as godparents who do not meet the spiritual requirements that were set out above.
Godparents should not become an object of personal gain for the parents of the person being baptized. The desire to become related to an advantageous person, for example, a boss, often guides parents when choosing godparents for a child. At the same time, forgetting about the true purpose of baptism, parents can deprive the child of a real godfather, and impose on him one who subsequently will not care at all about the spiritual education of the child, for which he himself will also answer before God. Unrepentant sinners and people leading an immoral lifestyle cannot become godparents.
Is it possible for a woman to become a godmother during her monthly cleansing? What to do if this does happen?
On such days, women should refrain from participating church sacraments, which includes baptism. But if this did happen, then it is necessary to repent of this in confession.
How can future godparents prepare for baptism?
Some special rules There is no preparation of recipients for baptism. At some churches, special conversations are held, the purpose of which is usually to explain to a person all the provisions of the Orthodox faith regarding baptism and succession. If it is possible to attend such conversations, then it is necessary to do so, because... this is very useful for future godparents. If future godparents are sufficiently churched, constantly confess and receive communion, then attending such conversations will be quite a sufficient measure of preparation for them.
If potential recipients themselves are not yet sufficiently churched, then good preparation for them will be not only the acquisition of the necessary knowledge about church life, but also the study of the Holy Scriptures, the basic rules of Christian piety, as well as three days of fasting, confession and communion before the sacrament of baptism. There are several other traditions regarding recipients. Usually Godfather takes upon himself the cost (if any) of the baptism itself and the purchase of a pectoral cross for his godson. The godmother buys a baptismal cross for the girl and also brings things necessary for baptism. Typically, a baptismal set includes a baptismal shirt, a sheet and a towel.
But these traditions are not mandatory. Often in different regions and even individual churches have their own traditions, the implementation of which is strictly monitored by parishioners and even priests, although they do not have any dogmatic or canonical basis. Therefore, it is better to learn more about them in the temple in which the baptism will take place.
What should godparents give for baptism (to the godson, to the godson’s parents, to the priest)?
This question does not lie in the spiritual realm, regulated by canonical rules and traditions. But I think that the gift should be useful and remind of the day of baptism. Useful gifts on the day of baptism could be icons, the Gospel, spiritual literature, prayer books, etc. In general, in church shops you can now find a lot of interesting and spiritually useful things, so purchasing a worthy gift should not be a big difficulty.
Can non-Orthodox Christians or non-Orthodox Christians become godparents?
It is quite obvious that no, because they will not be able to teach their godson the truths of the Orthodox faith. Not being members of the Orthodox Church, they cannot take part in church sacraments at all.
Unfortunately, many parents do not ask about this in advance and, without any remorse, invite non-Orthodox and non-Orthodox people to be godparents to their children. At baptism, of course, no one talks about this. But then, having learned about the inadmissibility of what they had done, the parents came running to the temple, asking:
What to do if this happens by mistake? Is baptism considered valid in this case? Is it necessary to baptize a child?
First of all, such situations show the extreme irresponsibility of parents when choosing godparents for their child. Nevertheless, such cases are not uncommon, and they occur among unchurched people who do not live a church life. A clear answer to the question “what to do in this case?” It is impossible to give, because There is nothing like this in the church canons. This is not surprising, because canons and rules were written for members of the Orthodox Church, which cannot be said about heterodox and non-Orthodox people. Nevertheless, as an accomplished fact, baptism took place, and it cannot be called invalid. It is legal and valid, and the baptized person has become a full-fledged Orthodox Christian, because was baptized by an Orthodox priest in the name of the Holy Trinity. No rebaptism is required; there is no such concept at all in the Orthodox Church. A person is born physically once, he cannot repeat this again. Also - only once a person can be born for spiritual life, therefore there can be only one baptism.
Let me make a small digression and tell the reader how I once had to witness a not very pleasant scene. A young married couple brought their newborn son to be baptized in the temple. The couple worked in a foreign company and invited one of their colleagues, a foreigner and Lutheran by religion, to become godfather. True, the godmother was supposed to be a girl of the Orthodox faith. Neither the parents nor the future godparents were distinguished by special knowledge in the field of Orthodox doctrine. The parents of the child received the news of the impossibility of having a Lutheran as their son’s godparents with hostility. They were asked to find another godfather or baptize the child with one godmother. But this proposal angered father and mother even more. The persistent desire to see this particular person as a receiver prevailed over common sense The parents and the priest had to refuse to baptize the child. Thus, the illiteracy of the parents became an obstacle to the baptism of their child.
Thank God that such situations have never occurred in my priestly practice. An inquisitive reader may well assume that there may be some obstacles to accepting the sacrament of baptism. And he will be absolutely right. So:
In what case can a priest refuse to baptize a person?
Orthodox believe in the Trinity of God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Founder Christian faith there was a Son - the Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, a person who does not accept the Divinity of Christ and does not believe in the Holy Trinity cannot be an Orthodox Christian. Also, a person who denies the truths of the Orthodox faith cannot become an Orthodox Christian. The priest has the right to refuse baptism to a person if he is going to accept the sacrament as some kind of magical rite or has some kind of pagan belief regarding baptism itself. But this is a separate issue and I will touch on it later.
A very common question about receivers is:
Can spouses or those about to get married become godparents?
The spiritual relationship established between recipients in the sacrament of baptism is higher than any other union, even marriage. Therefore, spouses cannot become godparents of one child. This will cast doubt on the possibility of the continued existence of their marriage. But individually they may well be godparents to different children from the same family. Those planning to get married cannot become godparents, because Having become recipients, they will have a spiritual degree of kinship, which is higher than the physical one. They will have to end their relationship and limit themselves to only spiritual kinship.
Unfortunately, many people do not know this. And from this ignorance sometimes completely undesirable consequences follow, such as the marriage of the recipients. So:
What to do if a man and woman became godparents to one child and then got married?
If this happened due to their ignorance of church canons, then it’s not so bad. It is worse if, knowing about the impossibility of their marriage, they nevertheless decided to get married, and at the wedding did not tell the priest anything about their spiritual relationship. In any case, this issue can only be resolved by the highest church authority in the person of the ruling bishop. To do this, you must contact the diocesan administration with a corresponding petition addressed to the ruling bishop. The marriage will either be declared invalid or the spouses will be called to repentance for a sin committed in ignorance.
There is also a slightly different situation when, out of ignorance, spouses become recipients. The question arises:
What to do if, out of ignorance, spouses become recipients?
The resolution of this issue is also under the jurisdiction of the diocesan bishop. In such a case, it is worth doing the same as in the case of married adoptees, i.e. contact the diocesan administration with a corresponding petition addressed to the bishop.
Sometimes unchurched parents of children, wanting to choose godparents for their children, ask the following question:
Can people living in a civil marriage become recipients?
At first glance, this is enough complex issue, but from the church point of view it is resolved unambiguously. Such a family cannot be called complete. And in general, prodigal cohabitation cannot be called a family. After all, in fact, people living in a so-called civil marriage live in fornication. This is a big problem modern society. People who have been baptized in the Orthodox Church, at a minimum, who recognize themselves as Christians, for some unknown reason, refuse to legitimize their union not only before God (which is undoubtedly more important), but also before the state. There are countless excuses to hear. But, unfortunately, these people simply do not want to understand that they are looking for any excuses for themselves.
For God, the desire to “get to know each other better” or “not wanting to stain your passport with unnecessary stamps” cannot be an excuse for fornication. In fact, people living in a “civil” marriage trample all Christian concepts about marriage and family. Christian marriage presupposes the responsibility of the spouses for each other. During the wedding, they become one whole, and not two different people who made a promise to henceforth live under the same roof. Marriage can be compared to two legs of one body. If one leg stumbles or breaks, won't the other one bear the entire weight of the body? And in a “civil” marriage, people don’t even want to take on the responsibility of putting a stamp in their passport.
What then can we say about such irresponsible people who still want to be godparents? What good things can they teach a child? Is it possible that, having very shaky moral foundations, they will be able to set a good example for their godson? No way. Also, according to church canons, people leading an immoral life (“civil” marriage should be regarded as such) cannot be recipients of the baptismal font. And if these people finally decide to legitimize their relationship before God and the state, then they, especially, will not be able to be godparents to one child. Despite the apparent complexity of the question, there can be only one answer to it - unequivocally: no.
The topic of gender relations is always very pressing in all areas of human life. It goes without saying that this results in various issues that are directly related to baptism. Here is one of them:
Can a young man (or girl) become a godfather for his bride (groom)?
In this case, they will have to terminate their relationship and limit themselves to only a spiritual connection, because... in the sacrament of baptism, one of them will become the godparent of the other. Can a son marry his own mother? Or should the daughter marry her own father? Quite obviously not. Of course, church canons cannot allow this to happen.
Much more often than others there are questions about the possible adoption of close relatives. So:
Can relatives become godparents?
Grandfathers, grandmothers, uncles and aunts may well become godparents to their little relatives. There is no contradiction to this in church canons. But they should not be married to each other.
Can an adoptive father (mother) become a godfather to an adopted child?
According to 53 rule VI Ecumenical Council, it is unacceptable.
Based on the fact that a spiritual relationship is established between godparents and parents, the inquisitive reader may ask the following question:
Can a child’s parents become godparents to the children of their godfathers (their children’s godparents)?
Yes, this is completely acceptable. Such an action does not in any way violate the spiritual relationship established between parents and recipients, but only strengthens it. One of the parents, for example, the mother of a child, can become godmother to the daughter of one of the godfathers. And the father may well be the godfather of the son of another godfather or godfather. Other options are possible, but, in any case, spouses cannot become adopters of one child.
Sometimes people ask this question:
Can a priest be a godfather (including the one who performs the sacrament of baptism)?
Yes maybe. In general, this question is very pressing. From time to time I hear requests to become a godfather from complete strangers. Parents bring their child to baptism. For some reason, there was no godfather for the child. They begin to ask to become the child’s godfather, motivating this request by the fact that they heard from someone that in the absence of a godfather, the priest must fulfill this role. We have to refuse and baptize with one godmother. A priest is a person like everyone else, and he may well refuse strangers to be godfather to their child. After all, he will have to bear responsibility for raising his godchild. But how can he do this if he sees this child for the first time and is completely unfamiliar with his parents? And, most likely, he will never see it again. Obviously this is impossible. But a priest (even if he himself will perform the sacrament of baptism) or, for example, a deacon (and the one who will serve with the priest at the sacrament of baptism) may well become recipients of the children of their friends, acquaintances or parishioners. There are no canonical obstacles to this.
Continuing the theme of adoption, one cannot help but recall such a phenomenon as the desire of parents, for some, sometimes completely incomprehensible, reasons, to “adopt a godfather in absentia.”
Is it possible to take a godfather “in absentia”?
The very meaning of succession involves the godfather accepting his godson from the font itself. By his presence, the godfather agrees to be the recipient of the baptized person and undertakes to raise him in the Orthodox faith. There is no way to do this in absentia. In the end, the person who is being tried to be “registered in absentia” as a godparent may not at all agree to this action and, as a result, the person being baptized may be left without a godparent at all.
Sometimes you hear questions from parishioners about the following:
How many times can a person become a godfather?
In the Orthodox Church there is no clear canonical definition regarding how many times a person can become a godfather during his life. The main thing that a person who agrees to become a successor must remember is that this is a great responsibility for which he will have to answer before God. The measure of this responsibility determines how many times a person can take on succession. This measure is different for each person and, sooner or later, a person may have to abandon the new adoption.
Is it possible to refuse to become a godfather? Wouldn't that be a sin?
If a person feels internally unprepared or has serious fears that he will not be able to conscientiously fulfill the duties of a godparent, then he may well refuse the child’s parents (or the person being baptized, if this is an adult) to become their child’s godparent. There is no sin in this. This will be more honest towards the child, his parents and himself than, having taken responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of the child, not fulfilling his immediate responsibilities.
Continuing this topic, I will give a few more questions that people usually ask regarding the number of possible godchildren.
You can become godfather to the second child in the family, if the first one already had one?
Yes, you can. There are no canonical obstacles to this.
Is it possible for one person to be the recipient of several people (for example, twins) during baptism?
There are no canonical prohibitions against this. But technically this can be quite difficult if infants are baptized. The receiver will have to hold and receive both babies from the bath at the same time. It would be better if each godson had his own godparents. After all, each of those baptized individually is different people who have the right to their godfather.
Many people will probably be interested in this question:
At what age can you become a foster child?
Minor children cannot become godparents. But, even if a person has not yet reached adulthood, then his age should be such that he can realize the full weight of the responsibility he has assumed and will conscientiously fulfill his duties as a godfather. It seems that this may be an age close to adulthood.
The relationship between the child's parents and godparents also plays an important role in raising children. It is good when parents and godparents have spiritual unity and direct all their efforts towards the proper spiritual education of their child. But human relationships are not always cloudless, and sometimes you hear the following question:
What should you do if you quarreled with your godson’s parents and for this reason you can’t see him?
The answer suggests itself: make peace with the godson’s parents. For what can people who have a spiritual relationship and at the same time be at enmity with each other teach a child? It is worth thinking not about personal ambitions, but about raising a child and, having patience and humility, try to improve relations with the godson’s parents. The same can be advised to the child’s parents.
But a quarrel is not always the reason why a godfather cannot see his godson for a long time.
What to do if, due to objective reasons, you have not seen your godson for years?
I think that the objective reasons are the physical separation of the godfather from the godson. This is possible if the parents and the child moved to another city or country. In this case, all that remains is to pray for the godson and, if possible, communicate with him using all available means of communication.
Unfortunately, some godparents, having baptized the baby, completely forget about their immediate responsibilities. Sometimes the reason for this is not only the recipient’s elementary ignorance of his responsibilities, but his falling into grave sins, making their own spiritual life very difficult. Then the child’s parents involuntarily have a completely legitimate question:
Is it possible to abandon godparents who do not fulfill their duties, who have fallen into serious sins or who lead an immoral lifestyle?
The Orthodox Church does not know the rite of renunciation of godparents. But parents can find an adult who, without being the actual recipient of the font, would help in the spiritual education of the child. At the same time, he cannot be considered a godfather.
But having such an assistant is better than depriving a child of communication with a spiritual mentor and friend altogether. After all, a moment may come when a child begins to look for spiritual authority not only in the family, but also outside it. And at this moment such an assistant would be very useful. And as the child grows up, you can teach him to pray for his godfather. After all, the spiritual connection of a child with the person who received him from the font will not be severed if he takes responsibility for a person who himself could not cope with this responsibility. It happens that children surpass their parents and mentors in prayer and piety.
Praying for someone who is sinning or lost will be a manifestation of love for that person. It is not without reason that the Apostle James says in his letter to Christians: “Pray for one another so that you may be healed; the fervent prayer of the righteous can accomplish much” (James 5:16). But all these actions must be coordinated with your confessor and receive a blessing for them.
When is there no need for godparents?
There is always a need for godparents. Especially for children. But not every adult baptized can boast of a good knowledge of the Holy Scriptures and church canons. If necessary, an adult can be baptized without godparents, because he has conscious faith in God and is quite capable of independently pronouncing the words of renunciation of Satan, uniting with Christ and reading the Creed. He is fully aware of his actions. The same cannot be said for babies and small children. Their godparents do all this for them. But, in case of extreme need, you can baptize a child without godparents. Such a need can undoubtedly become complete absence worthy godparents.
Godless times have left their mark on the destinies of many people. The result of this was that some people, after many years of unbelief, finally gained faith in God, but when they came to the temple, they did not know whether they had been baptized in childhood by believing relatives. A logical question arises:
Is it necessary to baptize a person who does not know for sure whether he was baptized as a child?
According to Rule 84 of the VI Ecumenical Council, such people must be baptized if there are no witnesses who could confirm or refute the fact of their baptism. In this case, a person is baptized, pronouncing the formula: “If he is not baptized, the servant of God is baptized...”.
What does a person who is preparing to become an Orthodox Christian need to know? How should he prepare for the sacrament of baptism?
A person’s knowledge of faith begins with reading the Holy Scriptures. Therefore, a person who wants to be baptized, first of all, needs to read the Gospel. After reading the Gospel, a person may have a number of questions that require a competent answer. Such answers can be obtained at so-called public conversations, which are held in many churches. At such conversations, the basics of the Orthodox faith are explained to those wishing to be baptized. If the church in which a person is going to be baptized does not have such conversations, then you can ask all your questions to the priest in the church. It will also be useful to read some books that explain Christian dogmas, for example, The Law of God. It will be good if, before receiving the sacrament of baptism, a person memorizes the Creed, in which briefly outlines the Orthodox doctrine of God and the Church. This prayer will be read at baptism, and it would be wonderful if the person being baptized himself confessed his faith. Direct preparation begins a few days before baptism. These days are special, so you should not divert attention to other, even very important, problems. It is worth devoting this time to spiritual and moral reflection, avoiding fuss, empty talk, participation in various entertainments. We must remember that baptism, like other sacraments, is great and holy. It must be approached with the greatest awe and reverence. It is advisable to fast for 2-3 days; married people should abstain from marital relations the night before. You need to show up for baptism extremely clean and tidy. You can wear new smart clothes. Women should not wear cosmetics, as always, when visiting a temple.
There are many superstitions associated with the sacrament of baptism, which I would also like to touch upon in this article. One of the most common superstitions is:
Can a girl be the first to baptize a girl? They say that if you baptize a girl first, and not a boy, then the godmother will give her her happiness...
This statement is also a superstition that has no basis either in Holy Scripture or in church canons and traditions. And happiness, if it is deserved before God, will not escape a person.
Another strange thought that I have heard more than once:
Can a pregnant woman become a godmother? Would this somehow affect her own child or godson?
Of course you can. Such a misconception has nothing to do with church canons and traditions and is also superstition. Participation in church sacraments can only be for the benefit of the expectant mother. I also had to baptize pregnant women. The babies were born strong and healthy.
A lot of superstitions are associated with the so-called crossing. Moreover, the reasons for such an insane action are sometimes very bizarre and even funny. But most of these justifications are of pagan and occult origin. Here, for example, is one of the most common superstitions of occult origin:
Is it true that in order to remove the damage caused to a person, it is necessary to cross himself again, and keep the new name secret, so that new attempts at witchcraft do not work, because... do they cast spells specifically on the name?
To be honest, hearing such statements makes me want to laugh heartily. But, unfortunately, this is no laughing matter. What kind of pagan stupidity must one reach? Orthodox person to decide that baptism is a certain magic ritual, a kind of antidote to damage. An antidote to some vague substance, the definition of which no one even knows. What is this ghostly corruption? It is unlikely that any of those who are so afraid of her will be able to clearly answer this question. This is not surprising. Instead of looking for God in life and fulfilling His commandments, the “church” people with enviable zeal look for the mother of all evils in everything - corruption. And where does it come from?
I'll allow myself a little lyrical digression. A man is walking down the street and stumbles. Everything is jinxed! We urgently need to run to the temple to light a candle so that everything is fine and the evil eye passes. While walking to the temple, he stumbled again. Apparently, they not only jinxed it, but also caused damage! Wow, infidels! Well, it’s okay, now I’ll come to the temple, pray, buy candles, stick all the candlesticks, and fight the damage with all my might. The man ran to the temple, stumbled again on the porch and fell. That's it - lie down and die! Damage to death, a family curse, and there’s also some nasty stuff there, I forgot the name, but it’s also something very scary. Three-in-one cocktail! Candles and prayer will not help against this, this is a serious matter, an ancient voodoo spell! There is only one way out - to be baptized again, and only with a new name, so that when these same voodoo whispers in the old name and stick needles into the dolls, all their spells fly by. They won't know the new name. And all witchcraft is done in the name, didn’t you know? What fun it will be when they whisper and conjure intensely, and everything flies by! Bam, bam and - by! Oh, it’s good when there is baptism - a cure for all diseases!
This is approximately how superstitions associated with rebaptism appear. But much more often the sources of these superstitions are figures in the occult sciences, i.e. fortune tellers, psychics, healers and other “God-gifted” individuals. These tireless “generators” of newfangled occult terminology go to all sorts of tricks to seduce people. They also come into play generational curses, and crowns of celibacy, and karmic knots destinies, translations, love spells with lapels and other occult nonsense. And all you need to do to get rid of all this is to cross yourself. And the damage was gone. And laughter and sin! But many fall for these parachurch tricks of “Mothers Glafir” and “Fathers Tikhon”, and run to the temple for re-baptism. It would be good if they told them where they had such an ardent desire to cross themselves, and they would be denied this blasphemy, having previously explained what the consequences of going to the occultists would be. And some do not even say that they have already been baptized and are being baptized again. There are also those who are baptized several times, because... previous baptisms “didn’t help.” And they won't help! It is difficult to imagine a greater blasphemy against the sacrament. After all, the Lord knows the heart of a person, knows about all his thoughts.
It’s worth saying a few words about the name, which “good people” advise changing. A person is given a name on the eighth day from birth, but since many do not know about this, basically the prayer for naming a name is read by the priest immediately before baptism. Surely everyone knows that a person is given a name in honor of one of the saints. And it is this saint who is our patron and intercessor for us before God. And, of course, I think that every Christian should call on his saint as often as possible and ask for his prayers before the throne of the Almighty. But what actually happens? Not only does a person neglect his name, but he also neglects his saint, after whom he is named. And instead of calling on your friend for help in times of trouble or danger heavenly patron- his saint, visits fortune tellers and psychics. An appropriate “reward” will follow for this.
There is another superstition related directly to the sacrament of baptism itself. Almost immediately after baptism, the ceremony of cutting hair follows. In this case, the receiver is given a piece of wax in which to roll the cut hair. The receiver must throw this wax into the water. This is where the fun begins. I don't know where the question comes from:
Is it true that if at baptism the wax with cut hair sinks, then the life of the person being baptized will be short?
No, it's superstition. According to the laws of physics, wax cannot sink in water at all. But if you throw it from a height with sufficient force, then at the first moment it will actually go under water. It is good if the superstitious receiver does not see this moment and “fortune telling with baptismal wax” will give a positive result. But, as soon as the godfather notices the moment the wax is immersed in water, lamentations immediately begin, and the newly-made Christian is almost buried alive. After this, it is sometimes difficult to bring the child’s parents out of their state of terrible depression, who are told about the “sign of God” seen at baptism. Of course, this superstition has no basis in church canons and traditions.
To summarize, I would like to note that baptism is a great sacrament, and the approach to it should be reverent and thoughtful. It is sad to see people who have received the sacrament of baptism and continue to live their former sinful life. Having been baptized, a person must remember that now he is Orthodox Christian, soldier of Christ, member of the Church. This requires a lot. First of all, to love. Love for God and neighbors. So let each of us, regardless of when he was baptized, fulfill these commandments. Then we can hope that the Lord will lead us into the Kingdom of Heaven. That Kingdom, the path to which the sacrament of Baptism opens for us.
When a baby is born, the first cry and sigh indicate its physical birth. Spiritually, this moment comes on the day of baptism. The ritual of accepting faith accompanies us for many generations. The right to be a godfather is considered honorable; it indicates a special, warm and trusting relationship between the child’s parents and adoptive parents. Their duty is to accept the spiritual birth of a person and be responsible for the faith of their godson.
The answer to the question of who can be the godparents of a boy or girl is obvious from the point of view of the church. People who support the Orthodox faith and have reached adulthood are worthy of this title. They are responsible for introducing the child to spiritual values.
What does the sacrament of baptism carry?
Baptism is an ancient rite performed in conditions Orthodox Church. The main purpose is to cleanse a person from offenses committed in past life so he can start his new way from scratch".
When a baby is brought to church for the first time in his life to be baptized, only the closest people remain in the holy place, and this is where the name “sacrament of baptism” comes from.
After the priest says all the prayers and washes the baby three times with water from the font, the ritual is considered completed.
Most of us were baptized in the first months of our lives, and therefore a person has no information in his memory about everything that is happening. People live, develop, build families. At some point in time, a moment comes when an offer is made to become a godparent. Or, moreover, a child is born into a family and needs to be baptized.
In such a situation, a logical question arises: “Who should be chosen as a godfather and is it possible to refuse to be a godfather?” We need to look for the answer not in faith or church, it is found within ourselves. It is very important to sensibly assess the capabilities of future godparents: will they be able to give the child what you cannot give, will they love him as if they were their own, and will they not lead him astray.
It is also necessary to understand that life is very unpredictable, and if the godfather or mother quarrels with the godson’s parents, this should in no way affect their personal relationships and disrupt the spiritual connection.
Spiritual kinship
Godparents worry no less than parents before a child’s baptism. This is, to a large extent, due to the progression of church illiteracy among the modern population. This often leads to a refusal to be a recipient. The main thing here is to understand that being a godfather is not scary if you take this step consciously. But it is not necessary to comply with church canons. It is possible that this event will change your inner world and perception, and you will be drawn to self-education in this regard.
It is important for the church that the chosen godparents will clearly understand: from now on they are responsible for the child in exactly the same way as is assigned to the biological parents.
When choosing adoptive parents for their child, parents should take into account that the church is not favorable to accepting the spiritual birth of a child if it is accepted by a married couple. But at the same time, a husband or wife can be godparents of several children of the same parents.
The child's godparents are close relatives - is it possible?
Before the baptism of a child, every conscious parent has a difficult question about how to choose a godfather and godmother for the baby. However, in most cases, the answer to this is on the surface; you just have to delve a little into the rules of the church.
In the old days, they tried to expand the circle of relatives as much as possible. This was done in order to increase the number of people who in the future will take care of the child and help him with difficult situations. That is why invitations to close relatives to be successors came only as an exception. This is due to the fact that in one family everyone takes care of each other anyway. Again, to increase family circle We tried to make sure that the brother and sister had different godfathers and mothers. But here the limitation is not on the part of the church, but under the influence of human concepts.
The main thing is that the godfather does not forget about his duties, and he does not have a question as to whether it is possible to refuse to be a godfather. After walking with the child, the parent should feel a spiritual connection with him.
How many children can one person baptize?
If a person is naturally kind, sociable and loves children, then he can repeatedly different families offer to become a receiver. The question involuntarily arises: are they mom and dad?
There are no quantitative restrictions on the part of the church, and you at will You can be the spiritual parents of several children. However, it is very important that the godfather understands the importance of this ritual and understands all the responsibility that is entrusted to him. A spiritual parent is a holy example for a godson. By not fulfilling his duties, he will answer not to the child’s parents, but to God. Throughout his life, the successor must take care of and protect his godchildren, no matter how many of them he has.
There is a rumor among the people that a woman who has baptized one child and wants to become a successor for another, removes the cross from her firstborn. Fortunately, this is just a myth and the church has its own view on it.
Re-baptism is like a second birth for a biological mother, who will never abandon her first baby if she has one or more children. The godmother bears equal responsibility for her godchildren, and, having become related in the church with several children, even from different parents, she won't be able to forget any of them.
Parents should think carefully about who will cope with this role, because among young people questions often arise about whether it is possible to refuse to be a godfather, having already undergone the ceremony.
How to choose godparents for your daughter
Choosing a godmother for a girl has always been more problematic than for a boy. Often, friends of the child’s mother wonder whether it is possible to refuse to be a godparent if the girl has not yet baptized the boy. This is another folk myth that says that a girl’s godmother, who has taken on these obligations for the first time and has not previously baptized a boy, will definitely remain single, and the goddaughter will “take away her beauty and luck.”
This misconception has no Christian justification, but is purely a superstition, which is sinful to obey. A girl's godmother must be a convinced Orthodox Christian. Another interesting point that not many parents know about is that the girl must have a successor, and the ceremony is allowed without a godfather.
Choosing a foster child for my son
It is also worth understanding who can be the boy’s godparents. Here, just as in the case of a girl, there are no rules or restrictions. The godfather must understand the responsibility he bears for the child and that he will need to maintain a spiritual connection with him throughout his life.
What are the responsibilities of receivers?
It’s hard to realize that not every person understands why a godmother and father are needed, and why this is the name of their new and such a responsible life role. The maximum that godparents' participation in a child's life is limited to is visits on name days and angel's day and giving gifts. This is, of course, wonderful, but from the spiritual side everything is much deeper.
The godfather's duties include praying for his son. At least once a day, the godparent must turn to God with a petition for his godson. Nothing special, exactly what you need to do for your children: ask for health and well-being, salvation and help. When wondering who can be the godparents of a boy and a girl, answer if any of your close friends can love a child the way you do. And only then will it be possible to decide.
When baptizing a child, the godmother assumes the same responsibilities as the father. She should help the biological mother, say prayers for her godson, go to church with him on holidays and develop him spiritually.
Preparing for a child's baptism
The main point is that the chosen godparents must come to the church to baptize the child with blessed crosses. The godmother must be in the temple only with her head covered. Clothes with trousers should be avoided. The dress or skirt should be below the knee and the shoulders should be covered.
The sacrament of baptism is a long ceremony that can last up to two hours, so shoes need to be stable, low-heeled and without heels. The recipient will have to hold the baby in his arms at all times.
It is enough for a man to wear a formal suit or trousers with a shirt.
Everything you need for the ceremony: towels, candles, icons can be purchased at the church. You should only bring a cross and clothes for your child.
Church is a place where you should refrain from attracting attention, so be modest in dress and behavior.
Common gifts for godchildren
Modern traditions regarding baptism are not much different from the ancient ones. Just as before, it is customary to give a child pectoral cross- this is the responsibility of the godfather, and the clothes are given by the godmother. This concerns the baptism of a boy.
If a girl is baptized, then the rules are the same, only in reverse. Nowadays, gifts are purchased by the child’s parents, but it is advisable that the godparents present some kind of memorable gift.
For a very long time it was customary to give a child a silver spoon. Her successors presented her as a gift when the child’s first tooth appeared.
It is believed that it is from this spoon that complementary foods should be introduced. This tradition has continued to this day.
Is it possible for a pregnant woman to become a foster child?
There are no prohibitions against a pregnant godmother taking part in the ritual. The Church cannot prevent a pregnant woman from baptizing a child. The only thing that can prevent this is the physical condition of the pregnant woman, but if she is sure that she can withstand 2 hours with the child in her arms in a standing position, then it is possible. The main thing is the realization that soon the mother will not only have her own child, but also a spiritual godson.
Who is prohibited from becoming a recipient of the church?
According to the laws, there are a number of restrictions, falling under which a person does not have the right to take part in the sacrament of baptism:
- godparents of a different, non-Christian faith - Buddhists, atheists, Catholics, Muslims, etc., even if they are the closest friends of the family;
- if parents who are related by marriage want to baptize a child or family relations;
- are not allowed to participate in the ceremony;
- if the parents were not baptized;
- if there is no desire to become a receiver;
- biological parents cannot baptize their own child;
- minors;
- It is forbidden for stepmothers and stepfathers to baptize their stepdaughters and stepsons;
- if a woman has her period, entry into the church is prohibited;
- monks and priests.
In the latter case, the exception is the situation if the priest is the godfather of a monk or a person belonging to the church.
Is it necessary to be married to become a godfather?
Another folk myth says that at least one of the godparents must be married. This belief is completely wrong. But at the same time, parents must understand that married man or married woman- these are more responsible and experienced people; accordingly, they clearly understand what responsibilities are assigned to them.
Being a recipient is very responsible and honorable. The godmother assumes responsibilities similar to those assumed by the father who baptized the boy.
What to do if the godparent has forgotten his purpose
Unfortunately, it happens that recipients forget about the responsibility that they took upon themselves at the time of the child’s baptism. The responsibilities of the godfather include the upbringing, care and spiritual development of the child.
If the parents made the wrong choice and the godfather turned out to be a careless person, then the blame for this lies only with them. In such a situation, they should do what the recipient should have done and introduce the child to the church.
Is it possible to refuse or change godparents?
The sacrament of baptism is a rite that is performed once in a lifetime, and no one can baptize a child. It doesn’t matter how much the child’s biological or godparents or the child himself have sinned. What was done before Bor cannot be changed in a holy place.
Depending on the life situation, an already matured child can make his own choice whether to communicate with godparents who have sinned or betrayed their faith, or not. If the successors took on this responsibility, but failed to fulfill their obligations and betrayed the godson, they will have to answer for this before God.
In this case, we can say that the spiritual union concluded between parents and child in infancy is destroyed.
The child’s parents must clearly understand and be confident in the choice of godparents as well as in themselves, because this is not a tribute to fashion, but a great sacrament that a person performs in the temple only once.
Being a godmother is a great honor, but also a great responsibility, because she has to become the spiritual mentor of her godson or goddaughter. If your loved ones have given you such an honor, it means they express special trust in you and hope that you will fulfill this role with dignity.
However, keep in mind that in addition to performing the duties of a godmother at baptism, you will later have to instruct your godson in matters of the Christian faith, take him to communion, and set an example of behavior for him.
As for preparing for baptism, this stage takes the godmother several days. What does the godmother do during baptism? What does she need to know about the ritual of this sacrament? We will answer these and some other questions.
According to the church charter, the godmother cannot be the child’s mother, a nun, an unbeliever or an unbaptized woman. Not only the mother’s friend, but also one of the relatives, for example, the baby’s grandmother or aunt, can act as a godmother. However, the adoptive mother cannot serve as a godmother either during or after the baptism.
How to prepare a godmother for the baptism ceremony
Preparations for baptism for the godmother begin several days before this ceremony. She, like her godfather, needs to fast for a period of time. three days, and then confess and receive communion.
You also need to talk with the priest, who will tell you in detail what the godmother needs to know about this sacrament and what she will have to do during the baptismal ceremony.
As a rule, the duties of a godmother in preparation for baptism include knowing by heart some of the prayers that will need to be read during this ceremony: “Creed”, “Our Father”, “Hail to the Virgin Mary”, “Heavenly King”, etc.
They express the essence of faith, help to cleanse oneself from sin and gain strength to overcome obstacles in life. life path. Although in some parishes knowledge of these prayers is not required: during the ceremony, the godparents will only need to repeat some phrases after the priest.
The godmother's preparation for the baptismal ceremony does not end there. She will need to purchase the things necessary for this ceremony and know what actions she will have to perform during the ceremony. However, let's talk about everything in order.
What else does a godmother need to know about the rules for baptizing a child? You should dress modestly for a christening. You cannot come to the temple in trousers, and the skirt must be below the knees. Women's head Orthodox church must be covered with a scarf.
What should a godmother do during a baptism? The ritual consists of the rite of catechumen (reading special prayers over the child), his renunciation of Satan and union with Christ, as well as the confession of the Orthodox faith. The godparents say the appropriate words for the baby on his behalf, renouncing the unclean spirit and promising to remain faithful to the Lord.
If a girl is being baptized, she should be held in her arms during the baptism ceremony. godmother, if a boy undergoes the ceremony, then the godfather. Although this can also be done by one of the godparents who better acquainted with the baby and next to whom the child feels more comfortable.
However, in any case, the godmother must be well acquainted with the child in order to maintain emotional contact with the baby and be able to calm him down if he cries.
After this, as a child is baptized, immersing him three times in water in the font and reading prayers at the same time, the godmother must take him in her arms. To do this you will need a kryzhma - a white towel. According to superstitions, drops from a baby’s face cannot be wiped off so that his life is happy.
Then the child is put on a cross (if it was not purchased in a church, it will need to be consecrated in advance) and a baptismal outfit - a shirt to the toes for a boy and a dress for a girl. The baby will also need a cap or scarf.
Even during preparation for baptism, the godmother is obliged to choose these things for the child. In the old days, women sewed them themselves, but nowadays baptismal attire and kryzhma can be bought in a store or church shop.
These things are not washed after christening and are not used for their intended purpose. It is recommended to keep them throughout a person’s life, as they serve as amulets, helping him avoid various troubles and diseases.
What else does a godmother need to do when baptizing a child? After initiation into the font, the godparents and the priest walk around it three times with the baby as a sign of spiritual joy from the union of a new member of the Church of Christ with the Savior for eternal life.
After the ritual of anointing, when parts of the child’s body are anointed with myrrh and prayers are read, the priest washes the myrrh with a special sponge moistened with holy water.
Then the priest lightly trims the child’s hair on four sides, which is folded onto a wax cake and lowered into the font, which symbolizes submission to God and sacrifice in gratitude for the beginning of spiritual life.
(The godmother will need a small bag in which to place the baby's cut hair, which can then also be stored with the towel and shirt.)
After this, the priest reads prayers for the child and his godparents, followed by churching. The priest carries the baby around the temple. If it is a boy, then he is brought into the altar. At the end of the ritual, the child is applied to one of the icons of the Savior and to the icon of the Mother of God, and then given to the parents.
In addition to the things necessary for the ceremony, the godmother can give the baby an icon with the image of his patron saint, a “measured icon”, a children’s Bible, a prayer book or items that do not have a church focus (clothes, shoes, toys, etc.), and also assist his parents in organizing festive feast on the occasion of christening.
We have already told you what the godmother has to know and do during the baptism ceremony of the child. But your mission doesn't end there. As already mentioned, you will need to be involved in the life of your godson and beyond.
You will attend church with your child if his parents are unable to do so due to illness or absence. You will need to contribute spiritual growth godson, give him advice in difficult life situations. In a word, take care of him along with his parents, because now you are responsible for the new member christian church before God.