How to prepare for your first confession? This question worries many beginning Orthodox Christians. You will find out the answer to this question if you read the article!
Using the following below simple tips you can take your first steps.
How to confess and receive communion for the first time?
Confession in church
The only exception may be the briefest “memo” of basic sins, which are often not recognized as such.
An example of such a memo:
A. Sins against the Lord God:
– disbelief in God, recognition of any significance for other “spiritual forces”, religious doctrines, in addition to Christian faith; participation in other religious practices or rituals, even “for company,” as a joke, etc.;
– nominal faith, not expressed in any way in life, that is, practical atheism (you can recognize the existence of God with your mind, but live as if you were an unbeliever);
- creation of “idols”, that is, placing them in first place among life values anything other than God. Anything that a person really “serves” can become an idol: money, power, career, health, knowledge, hobbies - all this can be good when it occupies the appropriate place in the personal “hierarchy of values”, but when it comes first , turns into an idol;
– turning to various kinds of fortune tellers, sorcerers, sorcerers, psychics, etc. – an attempt to “subdue” spiritual forces magically, without repentance and personal effort to change life in accordance with the commandments.
b. Sins against one's neighbor:
– neglect of people, resulting from pride and selfishness, inattention to the needs of one’s neighbor (a neighbor is not necessarily a relative or acquaintance, it is every person who happens to be next to us in this moment);
– condemnation and discussion of the shortcomings of your neighbors (“By your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned,” says the Lord);
– prodigal sins of various kinds, especially adultery (violation of marital fidelity) and unnatural sexual relations, which is incompatible with being in the Church. The so-called so-called, widespread today, also refers to prodigal cohabitation. " civil marriage", that is, cohabitation without marriage registration. It should, however, be remembered that a registered but unmarried marriage cannot be regarded as fornication and is not an obstacle to remaining in the Church;
– Abortion is the taking of the life of a human being, essentially murder. One should repent even if the abortion was done according to medical indications. Inducing a woman to have an abortion (by her husband, for example) is also a serious sin. Repentance for this sin implies that the repentant will never knowingly repeat it again.
– appropriation of someone else’s property, refusal to pay other people’s labor (ticketless travel), withholding wages subordinates or hired workers;
- lies of various kinds, especially - slandering one's neighbor, spreading rumors (as a rule, we cannot be sure of the veracity of rumors), inability to keep one's word.
This is an approximate list of the most common sins, but we emphasize once again that you should not get carried away with such “lists”. When further preparing for confession, it is best to use the Ten Commandments of God and listen to your own conscience.
- Talk only about sins, and your own.
In confession you need to talk about your sins, without trying to minimize them or show them as excusable. It would seem that this is obvious, but how often do priests, when accepting confession, hear, instead of confessing sins, everyday stories about all their relatives, neighbors and acquaintances. When in confession a person talks about the grievances caused to him, he evaluates and condemns his neighbors, essentially justifying himself. Often in such stories, personal sins are presented in such a light that it would seem completely impossible to avoid them. But sin is always the fruit of personal choice. It is extremely rare that we find ourselves in such conflicts when we are forced to choose between two types of sin.
- Don't invent a special language.
When talking about your sins, you shouldn’t worry about how to call them “correctly” or “church wise”. We must call things by their proper names, in ordinary language. You are confessing to God, who knows even more about your sins than you do, and calling sin as it is will definitely not surprise God.
You won't surprise the priest either. Sometimes penitents are ashamed to tell the priest this or that sin, or there is a fear that the priest, having heard the sin, will condemn you. In fact, over the years of ministry, a priest has to listen to a lot of confessions, and it is not easy to surprise him. And besides, all sins are not original: they have practically not changed over thousands of years. Being a witness to sincere repentance of serious sins, the priest will never condemn, but will rejoice at the person’s conversion from sin to the path of righteousness.
- Talk about serious things, not trifles.
There is no need to start confession with such sins as breaking the fast, not going to church, working on holidays, watching TV, wearing/not wearing certain types of clothes, etc. First of all, these are definitely not your most serious sins. Secondly, this may not be a sin at all: if a person has not come to God for many years, then why repent of not keeping fasts if the very “vector” of life was directed in the wrong direction? Thirdly, who needs endless digging into everyday minutiae? The Lord expects from us love and giving of the heart, and we told him: “I ate fish on a fast day” and “embroidered on a holiday.”
The main focus should be on our relationship with God and our neighbors. Moreover, by neighbors, according to the Gospel, we mean not only people who are pleasant to us, but everyone who has met us in our lives. life path. And above all, our family members. Christian life For family people begins in the family and is checked by it. Here is the best field for cultivating Christian qualities: love, patience, forgiveness, acceptance.
- Start changing your life even before confession.
Repentance in Greek sounds like “metanoia,” literally “a change of mind.” It is not enough to admit that you have committed such and such offenses in life. God is not a prosecutor, and confession is not a confession. Repentance must be a change of life: the penitent intends not to return to sins and tries with all his might to keep himself from them. Such repentance begins some time before confession, and coming to church to see the priest already “captures” the change taking place in life. This is extremely important. If a person intends to continue sinning after confession, then maybe it’s worth postponing confession?
It is necessary to stipulate that when we talk about changing life and renouncing sin, we mean first of all the so-called “mortal” sins, according to the word of the Apostle John, that is, incompatible with being in the Church. With such sins Christian church Since ancient times, she considered renunciation of faith, murder and adultery. Sins of this kind can also include the extreme degree of other human passions: anger towards one’s neighbor, theft, cruelty, etc., which can be stopped once and for all by an effort of will, combined with the help of God. As for small, so-called “everyday” sins, they will largely be repeated after confession. One must be prepared for this and accept it humbly as an inoculation against spiritual exaltation: there are no perfect people, only God alone is sinless.
- Be at peace with everyone.
“Forgive and you will be forgiven,” says the Lord. - “By whatever court you judge, you will be judged.” And even more strongly: “If you bring your gift to the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” . If we ask God for forgiveness, then we ourselves must first forgive the offenders. Of course, there are situations when asking for forgiveness directly from a person is physically impossible, or this will lead to an aggravation of an already difficult relationship. Then it is important to at least forgive on your part and not have anything against your neighbor in your heart.
Some practical recommendations. Before you come to confession, it would be a good idea to find out when confession is usually held in the church. In many churches they serve not only on Sundays and holidays, but also on Saturdays, and in large churches and monasteries - on weekdays. The greatest influx of confessors occurs during Lent. Of course, the Lenten period is primarily a time of repentance, but for those who come for the first time or after a very long break, it is better to choose a time when the priest is not very busy. It may turn out that confession is held in the church on Friday evening or Saturday morning - on these days there will probably be fewer people than during Sunday services. It’s good if you have the opportunity to personally contact the priest and ask him to set a convenient time for you to confess.
There are special prayers that express a repentant “mood.” It is good to read them the day before confession. Penitential canon The Lord Jesus Christ is printed in almost any prayer book, except the shortest. If you are unfamiliar with praying in Church Slavonic, you can use the Russian translation.
During confession, the priest may assign you penance: abstaining from communion for a while, reading special prayers, prostrations or works of mercy. This is not a punishment, but a means to overcome sin and receive complete forgiveness. Penance can be prescribed when the priest does not meet the proper attitude towards serious sins on the part of the penitent, or, conversely, when he sees that the person has a need to do something practically to “get rid of” the sin. Penance cannot be indefinite: it is appointed for a certain time, and then must be terminated.
As a rule, after confession, believers take communion. Although confession and communion are two different sacraments, it is better to combine preparation for confession with preparation for communion. We will tell you what kind of preparation this is in a separate article.
If these little tips helped you prepare for confession, thank God. Do not forget that this sacrament must be regular. Don't put off your next confession for many years. Confession at least once a month helps you to always be “on your toes” and treat your life attentively and responsibly. Everyday life, in which, in fact, our Christian faith should be expressed.
Have you read the article?
The great Day is approaching when the Great God will sit to judge all His creation. All people will be resurrected: their immortal souls will forever be united with their bodies. And the fiery angels will carry everyone to God’s judgment, to give an account for all our deeds done on Earth. Complete justice will be restored. - The righteous will receive an eternal reward in the Kingdom of Heaven, and for all their atrocities, sinners will have to bear eternal retribution in the flames of hell.
There is only one way to avoid punishment for your atrocities - to repent to God for your sins and receive forgiveness in the sacrament of Confession and Communion. Perhaps this is because Jesus Christ died for our sins and took our punishment upon Himself. And therefore God forgives sins only to those who are members of the Orthodox Church, which is the mystical Body of Christ. The priest of the Church in the sacrament of Ordination (ordination to the priesthood) receives from God the power to forgive and retain the sins of people.
Anyone who wants to receive forgiveness of sins and be saved needs the following:
- Need to be Orthodox Christian who have received the sacrament of Baptism from a legal priest (those baptized by grandmothers or someone else must resolve this issue with the priest). We must firmly believe and accept the Revelation of God, given to the Church- The Bible. Its essence is summarized in the Creed, which we must know by heart. An explanation of our faith can be found in the book "Catechism". It is always available in the church store or library.
- You need to remember (and if you need to write down) your evil deeds, starting from the age of 7 (or from the moment of Baptism - who was baptized as an adult) and admit that only you are to blame for all your evil deeds, and no one else. Those who, in confession, talk about the sins of others do great evil.
- You must promise God that with His help you will make every effort not to repeat the sin, but to do the opposite good deed.
- If sin has led to damage to your neighbor, you must make every effort before confession to make amends for this damage (give back what was stolen, make peace with the offended person).
- We must forgive all offenses ourselves for the sake of the blood of Christ, then God will forgive us our sin.
After this, one must go to the priest for confession and tell without concealment all one’s evil deeds, which Christ, through the priest, will forgive the repentant. There is no need to be afraid that the priest will be shocked by your confession. During his ministry, every shepherd hears almost every conceivable sin. You won’t surprise or upset him with anything, except for an attempt to shift the blame onto someone else. We must remember that confession remains only between the priest and you. For disclosing the secret of confession, a priest can be defrocked.
To make it easier to prepare, we present short list sins that must be fought mercilessly, in accordance with the 10 Commandments.
- I am the Lord your God; you shall have no other gods before Me. Sins: atheism, false teachings, communism, magic, going to grandmothers and healers, astrology (including reading horoscopes), participation in sects, pride, boasting, careerism, arrogance, self-love.
- Do not make an idol for yourself, do not worship or serve them. Sins: idolatry, invoking spirits, feeding brownies, fortune telling, man-pleasing, love of money.
- Do not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. Sins: blasphemy, mockery of a sacred thing, swearing, desecration, breaking a promise to God, swearing, not reading the Bible every day.
- Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy; You shall work six days, and the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. Sins: missing Sunday services, working on holidays, parasitism, breaking fast.
- Honor your father and your mother. Sins: insulting parents, not honoring them and not remembering them in prayers, cursing at the priesthood and authorities, not respecting elders and teachers, not inviting a priest to visit relatives before death.
- Dont kill. Sins: murder, abortion, anger, swearing, fighting, hatred, resentment, rancor, irritability.
- Don't commit adultery. Sins: adultery, sex outside marriage, homosexuality, masturbation, watching pornography.
- Don't steal. Sins: theft, robbery, fraud, usury, stinginess.
- Do not bear false witness. Sins: perjury, lies, slander, gossip, betrayal, deception.
- Don't covet someone else's. Sins: envy, dissatisfaction with one's position, grumbling.
If you have repented of these sins, you should prepare for the greatest miracle Holy Communion, when, under the guise of bread and wine, the faithful partake of the Body and Blood of Christ for cleansing from sins and eternal life. Communion is celebrated in the morning during the Sacrament of the Divine Liturgy.
In order to receive communion worthily, one must prepare oneself by fasting (usually 3 days) and prayer. During fasting, one does not eat eggs, meat or dairy products. They read the Bible more than usual. On the evening before Communion, they must come to church for the evening service and confess their sins. During preparation, the “Rule for Holy Communion” and 3 canons are read - to the Lord, the Mother of God and the Guardian Angel. All these texts are in the Prayer Book. If some word in the prayers is not clear, you need to ask the priest about it.
On the day of communion they do not eat or drink anything from midnight. In the morning they come to the temple and during the Liturgy they reverently approach St. Remembering more often the Death and Resurrection of Christ. At the end of the Liturgy, they thank God and go out into the world to do good deeds.
May God give salvation to everyone who reads!
Confession. Unfortunately, we really have a lot of things mixed up in our heads, and it seems to us that if a person cannot help but sin, he must confess almost every day.
Frequent confession can be very useful at a certain stage of our life, especially when a person is just taking his first steps in faith, is just beginning to cross the threshold of the temple, and the space of a new life, almost unknown, opens up for him. He doesn’t know how to pray correctly, how to build his relationships with his neighbors, how to generally navigate this new life of his, so he makes mistakes all the time, all the time, it seems to him (and not only him), he does something wrong That.
Thus, frequent confession for those people whom we call neophytes is a very important and serious stage in their recognition of the Church and understanding of all the foundations of spiritual life. Such people enter the life of the Church, including through confession, through conversation with a priest. Where else can you talk so closely with a priest if not at confession? The main thing is that here they receive their main first Christian experience of understanding their mistakes, understanding how to build relationships with other people, with themselves. Such confession very often is a spiritual, confessional conversation more than repentance of sins. One might say - a catechetical confession.
But over time, when a person already understands a lot, knows a lot, and has gained some experience through trial and error, very frequent and detailed confession can become an obstacle for him. Not necessarily for everyone: some people feel quite normal with frequent confession. But for some it can become a barrier, because a person suddenly learns to think something like this: “If I live all the time, it means I sin all the time. If I sin all the time, then I have to confess all the time. If I don’t confess, how will I approach communion with my sins?” Here there is such, I would say, a syndrome of distrust in God, when a person thinks that for confessed sins he has been awarded the honor of receiving the Sacrament of the Body and Blood of Christ.
Of course this is not true. The contrite spirit with which we come to communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ does not cancel our confession. But confession does not cancel a contrite spirit.
The fact is that a person cannot confess at confession in such a way as to take all his sins and state them. Impossible. Even if he takes and simply rewrites a book listing all the various sins and perversions that exist on Earth. This will not be a confession. This will be absolutely nothing other than a formal act of distrust in God, which in itself, of course, is not very good.
The most terrible spiritual disease
People sometimes come to confession in the evening, then go to church in the morning, and then - ah! - at the Chalice itself they remember: “I forgot to confess this sin!” - and almost from the line for communion they run away to the priest, who continues the confession, in order to say what he forgot to say in confession. This is, of course, a problem.
Or they suddenly begin to babble at the Chalice: “Father, I forgot to say such and such in confession.” What does a person bring to communion? With love or with mistrust? If a person knows and trusts God, then he knows that God came into this world to save sinners. “From them I am first,” the priest says these words, and each of us says when he comes to confession. It is not the righteous who partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, but sinners, of whom each one who comes to the Chalice is the first, because he is a sinner. This means that he even goes to receive communion with sins.
He repents of these sins, laments over them; this contrition is the most important thing that gives a person the opportunity to partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Otherwise, if a person confessed before communion and felt confident that now he would receive communion worthily, now he has the right to receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ, then I think that nothing could be worse and worse than this.
As soon as a person feels worthy, as soon as a person feels entitled to receive communion, the most terrible spiritual illness that can befall a Christian will occur. Therefore, in many countries, communion and confession are not a mandatory combination. Confession is performed at its own time and place, communion is celebrated during the Divine Liturgy.
Therefore, those who confessed, say, a week ago, two weeks ago, and their conscience is peaceful, their relations with their neighbors are good, and their conscience does not convict a person of any sins that would weigh on his soul like a terrible and unpleasant stain , he can, lamentingly, approach the Chalice... It is clear that each of us is sinful in many ways, each of us is imperfect. We realize that without God’s help, without God’s mercy we will not become different.
To list the sins that God knows about us - why do something that is already clear? I repent of the fact that I am a proud person, but I cannot repent of this every 15 minutes, although every minute I remain the same proud. When I come to confession to repent of the sin of pride, I sincerely repent of this sin, but I understand that, having moved away from confession, I did not become humble, I did not completely exhaust this sin. Therefore, it would be pointless for me to come every 5 minutes and say again: “Sinful, sinful, sinful.”
My sin is my work, my sin is my work on this sin. My sin is constant self-reproach, daily attention to what I brought to God for confession. But I can’t tell God about this every time, He already knows it. I will say this next time when this sin trips me up again and again shows me all my insignificance and all my isolation from God. I once again bear sincere repentance for this sin, but as long as I know that I am infected with this sin, until this sin forced me to turn away from God so much that I felt how strong this distance was, this sin may not be the subject of my constant confession, but must be the subject of my constant struggle.
The same applies to everyday sins. Let's say it is very difficult for a person to live a whole day without judging anyone. Or live the whole day without saying a single unnecessary, idle word. The fact that we constantly name these sins in confession will not change anything. If every day in the evening, going to bed, we examine our conscience, not just read this memorized prayer, the last one in evening rule, where money-grubbing, extortion and any other incomprehensible “possession” are imputed to us as sin, but let’s just really examine our conscience and understand that today again we were a setback in our lives, that today again we did not keep up our Christian calling , then we will bring repentance to God, this will be our spiritual work, this will be exactly the work that the Lord expects from us.
But if we list this sin every time we come to confession, but do absolutely nothing, then this confession turns out to be very doubtful.
There is no heavenly accounting
Every Christian can approach the frequency of confession based on the realities of his spiritual life. But it’s strange to think of God as a prosecutor, to believe that there is some kind of heavenly accounting that takes all our confessed sins as offset and erases them from some ledger when we come to confession. That’s why we are afraid, what if we forgot, what if we didn’t say something, and what if it won’t be erased with an eraser?
Well, they forgot and forgot. It's OK. We hardly know our sins at all. Whenever we become spiritually alive, we suddenly see ourselves as we have not seen ourselves before. Sometimes a person, having lived for many years in the Church, says to the priest: “Father, it seems to me that I was better before, I have never committed such sins as now.”
Does this mean he was better? Of course not. It’s just that then, many years ago, he didn’t see himself at all, didn’t know who he was. And over time, the Lord revealed his essence to man, and then not completely, but only to the very extent to which man is capable of this. Because if at the beginning of our spiritual life the Lord had shown us all our inability for this life, all our weakness, all our inner ugliness, then perhaps we would have despaired of this so much that we would not have wanted to go anywhere further. Therefore, the Lord, by His mercy, even reveals our sins gradually, knowing how sinful we are. But at the same time he allows us to receive communion.
Confession is not training
I don't think confession is something a person trains himself to do. We have spiritual exercises in which we, in a sense, train ourselves, tune ourselves up - this is, for example, fasting. Its regularity is stated in the fact that during fasting a person tries to organize his life. Another spiritual “training” can include a prayer rule, which also really helps a person to organize his life.
But if the sacrament is considered from this point of view, then it is a disaster. You cannot take communion regularly for the sake of regularity of communion. Regular communion is not exercise, not physical education. This does not mean that since I have not received communion, then I have lost something and must receive communion in order to accumulate some kind of spiritual potential. It's not like that at all.
A person takes communion because he cannot live without it. He has a thirst to receive communion, he has a desire to be with God, he has a true and sincere desire to open himself to God and become different, uniting with God... And the sacraments of the Church cannot become some kind of physical training for us. They are not given for this, they are still not exercises, but life.
The meeting of friends and relatives does not happen because friends must meet regularly, otherwise they will not be friends. Friends meet because they are very attracted to each other. It is unlikely that friendship will be useful if, say, people set themselves the task: “We are friends, therefore, in order for our friendship to grow stronger, we must meet every Sunday.” This is absurd.
The same can be said about the sacraments. “If I want to confess correctly and develop a real feeling of repentance in myself, I must confess every week,” sounds absurd. Like this: “If I want to become a saint and be with God always, I must take communion every Sunday.” Just ridiculous.
Moreover, it seems to me that there is some kind of substitution in this, because everything is not in its place. A person confesses because his heart hurts, because his soul suffers from pain, because he has sinned and he is ashamed, he wants to cleanse his heart. A person receives communion not because the regularity of communion makes him a Christian, but because he strives to be with God, because he cannot help but receive communion.
Quality and frequency of confession
The quality of confession does not depend on the frequency of confession. Of course, there are people who confess once a year, take communion once a year - and do this without understanding why. Because it’s the way it’s supposed to be and somehow it has to be, the time has come. Therefore, they, of course, do not have some skill in confession, or understanding of its essence. Therefore, as I already said, in order to enter church life and learn something, of course, at first you need regular confession.
But regularity does not mean once a week. The regularity of confession can be different: 10 times a year, once a month... When a person builds his life spiritually, he feels that he needs to confess.
It’s like priests: they each set a certain regularity for their confession. I even think that there is not even any regularity here, except that the priest himself feels the moment when he needs to confess. There is a certain internal obstacle to communion, there is an internal obstacle to prayer, the understanding comes that life is beginning to fall apart, and you need to go to confession.
In general, a person must live like this in order to feel this. When a person does not have a sense of life, when a person measures everything by a certain external element, external actions, then, of course, he will be surprised: “How is it possible to receive communion without confession? Like this? This is some kind of horror!
O. Alexy Umninsky
One of the main sacred rites of the Orthodox Church is the communion of the believer. The sacrament of the Eucharist, performed sincerely, at the call of the soul, has great importance for a Christian. Going through a sacred ceremony with an understanding of the essence and importance of the ritual leads to sincere repentance, receiving forgiveness, and spiritual cleansing.
What is communion
Belonging to a religious denomination implies adherence to traditions. What is the Eucharist? The most important religious rite involves receiving from the hands of a clergyman and then eating bread and wine, symbolizing the Flesh and Blood of Jesus Christ. The sacrament includes prayers, bows, chants, and preaching. Communion in church introduces a person to God and strengthens the spiritual connection with the Higher powers. To conduct a ceremony in a church, the purity of the believer, both physical and mental, is required. Communion must be preceded by confession and preparation.
Sacrament of Communion
The ritual originates from the Last Supper, which preceded the crucifixion of Christ. Having gathered with his disciples at the table, the Savior took the bread, divided it into parts and distributed it with the words that it was His Flesh. Then Christ blessed the cup of wine, calling its contents his Blood. The Savior commanded his followers to always perform a ceremony in memory of Him. This custom is followed by Russian Orthodox Church, in which the rite of the Eucharist is celebrated daily. In pre-Petrine times, there was a decree according to which all laity were obliged to take communion in church at least once a year.
Why Holy Communion is Necessary
The sacrament of communion is of great importance for a believer. A layman who does not want to perform the rite of the Eucharist moves away from Jesus, who commanded to observe tradition. Disruption of communication with God leads to confusion and fear in the soul. A person who receives communion in church regularly, on the contrary, strengthens his religious faith, becomes more peaceful, closer to the Lord.
How to take communion in church
The Eucharist is the first step taken by a person towards God. This act must be conscious and voluntary. To confirm the purity of his intention, a layman should prepare for communion in church. First you need to ask for forgiveness from those who may be offended by you. For several days before the ceremony, an adult needs:
- Observe fasting by refusing to use meat dishes, eggs, dairy products. Dietary restrictions are imposed for a period of one to three days, depending on the physical condition.
- Give up the habit of “eating” yourself and others. Internal aggression should be kept to a minimum. You need to behave kindly to others; selfless help to your neighbors is useful.
- Eliminate foul language, tobacco, alcohol, and intimacy from everyday life.
- Do not attend entertainment events or watch entertaining television programs.
- Read evening morning prayers.
- Attend Liturgies, listen to sermons. It is especially recommended to attend the evening service on the eve of the day of communion and read the Sermon.
- Study spiritual literature, read the Bible.
- Confess on the eve of communion in church. This requires understanding life, events, and actions. Sincere confession is needed not only as preparation for communion. Repentance makes a believer purer, gives a feeling of lightness and freedom.
Rite of Communion
On the day of the ceremony, you need to skip breakfast and come to the temple early, feel the atmosphere of the place, get ready, and tune in to the right mood. What is communion in church? The sacrament begins during the service, closer to its end. The Royal Doors open, and a relic is brought out to visitors - a bowl with consecrated gifts - Cahors and bread. The dishes are symbols of the Flesh and Blood of the Savior. The bowl is placed on a special platform called the pulpit. The priest reads prayer of thanksgiving intended for communion.
How to take communion in church? The priest gives each parishioner who approaches the bowl a taste of the dish from a spoon. You need to get closer, cross your arms across your chest, say your name. Then you should kiss the base of the bowl. You can leave the temple after the end of the service. Before leaving you need to kiss the cross. A ritual performed sincerely and with all the heart brings the believer closer to Christ and gives the soul happiness and salvation. It is important to preserve holy grace in the heart after communion, and not to lose it outside the church.
How children receive communion
Communion of a child is important for his spiritual maturation. The ritual is necessary so that the baby is under the care of the guardian angel in whose honor he was baptized. The first communion in the church occurs after baptism. Children under seven years of age are not required to go to confession the day before. It doesn’t matter how often the baby’s parents take communion in church or whether they do it at all.
Important rule children's communion in church - carrying out the ceremony on an empty stomach. Allowed to have breakfast small child. It is better to feed the baby at least half an hour before the ceremony so that he does not burp. After three years, it is advisable to bring children to church on an empty stomach, but there is no strict rule. It is important that the child gradually gets used to the restrictions during preparation. For example, you can remove games, cartoons, meat, something very tasty. Compliance prayer rules children are not required.
You can come to communion with babies. You are allowed to arrive early with older children, depending on how long the child can stand standing in the temple. Children often lack patience; on the contrary, they have a lot of energy. This needs to be understood and not force the child to stand in one place, instilling a dislike for the ritual. During communion the name for small child pronounced by an adult. When the baby grows up, he must identify himself.
How does communion occur for the sick?
If a person, for health reasons, is unable to listen to the liturgy or take communion within the walls of the church, this can easily be resolved by performing the ceremony at home. Seriously ill patients are allowed by the canons of Orthodoxy to undergo the procedure. It is not necessary to read prayers and fast. However, confession and repentance for sins are necessary. Patients are allowed to receive communion after eating. Clergy often visit hospitals to give confession and communion to people.
How often can you take communion?
The ritual must be performed when the soul desires it, when there is an internal need. The number of sacraments is not regulated by representatives of the Patriarchate. Most believers receive communion once or twice a month. The ritual is necessary for special occasions - weddings, baptisms, name days, and during great holidays. The only restriction is the ban on communion more than once a day. The holy gifts are served from two church vessels; you only need to try from one.
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Once in our lives we receive Baptism and are anointed with Chrism. Ideally, we get married once. The Sacrament of the Priesthood is not all-encompassing; it is performed only on those whom the Lord has destined to be accepted into the clergy. In the Sacrament of Unction our participation is very small. But the Sacraments of Confession and Communion lead us through our entire lives to eternity, without them the existence of a Christian is unthinkable. We get to them time after time. So sooner or later we still have the opportunity to think: are we preparing for them correctly? And understand: no, most likely not entirely. Therefore, talking about these Sacraments seems very important to us. In this issue, in a conversation with the editor-in-chief of the magazine, Abbot Nektariy (Morozov), we decided to touch upon confession (because covering everything is an impossible task, too “boundless” a topic), and next time we will talk about Communion of the Holy Mysteries.
“I guess, or rather, I guess: nine out of ten who come to confession don’t know how to confess...
- Indeed, it is so. Even people who regularly go to church do not know how to do many things in it, but the worst thing is with confession. Very rarely does a parishioner confess correctly. You have to learn to confess. Of course, it would be better if an experienced confessor, a man of high spiritual life, spoke about the Sacrament of Confession and repentance. If I decide to talk about this here, it’s simply as a person who confesses, on the one hand, and on the other, as a priest who quite often has to accept confession. I will try to summarize my observations of my own soul and how others participate in the Sacrament of Repentance. But by no means do I consider my observations sufficient.
— Let's talk about the most common misconceptions, misconceptions and mistakes. A person goes to confession for the first time; he heard that before receiving communion, one must confess. And that in confession you need to tell your sins. He immediately has a question: for what period should he “report”? Over your entire life, starting from childhood? But can you retell all this? Or do you not need to retell everything, but just say: “In childhood and youth I showed selfishness many times” or “In my youth I was very proud and vain, and even now, in fact, I remain the same”?
- If a person comes to confession for the first time, it is quite obvious that he needs to confess for the whole past life. Starting from the age when he could already distinguish good from evil - and until the moment he finally decided to confess.
How can you tell your whole life in a short time? In confession, we do not tell our whole life, but what is sin. Sins are specific events. However, there is no need to recount all the times when you sinned with anger, for example, or with lies. You must say that you committed this sin, and cite some of the brightest, most terrible manifestations of this sin - those that truly hurt your soul. There is one more pointer: what do you least want to tell about yourself? This is exactly what needs to be said first. If you are going to confession for the first time, it is best for you to set yourself the task of confessing your heaviest, most painful sins. Then the confession will become more complete, deeper. The first confession cannot be like this - for several reasons: this is a psychological barrier (coming for the first time in front of a priest, that is, in front of a witness, telling God about your sins is not easy) and other obstacles. A person does not always understand what sin is. Unfortunately, not even all people living church life know and understand the Gospel well. And except in the Gospel, the answer to the question of what is sin and what is virtue, perhaps, will not be found anywhere. In the life around us, many sins have become commonplace... But even when reading the Gospel to a person, his sins are not immediately revealed, they are gradually revealed by the grace of God. St. Peter of Damascus says that the beginning of the health of the soul is seeing one’s sins as countless as the sand of the sea. If the Lord had immediately revealed to a person his sinfulness in all its horror, not a single person could have endured it. That is why the Lord reveals his sins to a person gradually. This can be compared to peeling an onion - first they removed one skin, then the second - and finally they got to the onion itself. That is why it very often happens: a person goes to church, regularly confesses, takes communion - and finally realizes the need for the so-called general confession. It very rarely happens that a person is ready for it right away.
- What it is? How does general confession differ from ordinary confession?
— General confession, as a rule, is called confession for the entire life lived, and in a certain sense this is true. But a confession that is not so comprehensive can also be called general. We repent of our sins from week to week, from month to month, this is a simple confession. But from time to time you need to give yourself a general confession - a review of your entire life. Not the one that was lived, but the one that is now. We see that we repeat the same sins, and we cannot get rid of them - that’s why we need to understand ourselves. Review your entire life as it is now.
— How to treat the so-called questionnaires for general confession? They can be seen in church shops.
— If by general confession we mean precisely confession for the entire life lived, then here there really is a need for some kind of external assistance. The best guide for confessors is the book by Archimandrite John (Krestyankin) “The Experience of Constructing a Confession”, it is about the spirit, in the right mood a repentant person, about what exactly needs to be repented. There is a book “Sin and Repentance of the Last Times. About the secret ailments of the soul" by Archimandrite Lazar (Abashidze). Useful excerpts from St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov) - “To help the penitent.” As for the questionnaires - yes, there are confessors, there are priests who do not approve of these questionnaires. They say that you can read in them such sins that the reader has never even heard of, but if he reads it, he will be harmed... But, unfortunately, there are almost no such sins left that modern man I wouldn't know. Yes, there are questions there that are stupid, rude, there are questions that are clearly sinning with excessive physiology... But if you treat the questionnaire as a working tool, like a plow with which you need to plow yourself all over once, then, I think, you can use it. In the old days, such questionnaires were called “renewal,” which is so wonderful to modern ears. Indeed, with their help, man renewed himself as the image of God, just as an old, dilapidated and grimy icon is renewed. Think about whether it's good or bad literary form These questionnaires are compiled entirely optionally. The serious shortcomings of some questionnaires include this: the compilers include in them something that, in essence, is not a sin. Didn’t you wash your hands with scented soap, for example, or didn’t you do your laundry on Sunday... If you did the laundry during Sunday service, that’s a sin, but if you did the laundry after the service because there was no other time, I personally don’t see it as a sin.
“Unfortunately, you can sometimes buy this in our church shops...
- This is why it is necessary to consult a priest before using the questionnaire. I can recommend the book by Priest Alexy Moroz “I Confess Sin, Father” - it is a reasonable and very detailed questionnaire.
— Here it is necessary to clarify: what do we mean by the word “sin”? Most of those who confess, when they pronounce this word, mean a sinful act. That is, in essence, a manifestation of sin. For example: “Yesterday I was harsh and cruel to my mother.” But this is not a separate, not some random episode, this is a manifestation of the sin of dislike, intolerance, unforgiveness, selfishness. This means that you shouldn’t say that, not “yesterday I was cruel,” but simply “I’m cruel, there’s little love in me.” Or how should I say it?
— Sin is a manifestation of passion in action. We must repent of specific sins. Not in passions as such, because passions are always the same, you can write one confession to yourself for the rest of your life, but in those sins that were committed from confession to confession. Confession is the Sacrament that gives us the opportunity to start a new life. We repented of our sins, and from that moment our life began anew. This is the miracle that takes place in the Sacrament of Confession. That is why you always need to repent - in the past tense. You shouldn’t say: “I offend my neighbors,” I should say: “I offended my neighbors.” Because I have the intention, having said this, not to offend people in the future.Each sin in confession should be named so that it is clear what exactly it is. If we repent of idle talk, we do not need to retell all the episodes of our idle talk and repeat all our idle words. But if in some case there was so much idle talk that we tired someone with it or said something completely unnecessary, we probably need to talk about this in confession in a little more detail, more definitely. There are such words from the Gospel: For every idle word that people speak, they will give an answer on the day of judgment (Matthew 12:36). You need to look at your confession in advance from this point of view - whether there will be idle talk in it.
- And yet about passions. If I feel irritated by my neighbor’s request, but I don’t show this irritation in any way and provide him with the necessary help, should I repent of the irritation I experienced as a sin?
- If you, feeling this irritation within yourself, consciously fought against it - this is one situation. If you accepted this irritation of yours, developed it in yourself, reveled in it - this is a different situation. Everything depends on the direction of a person's will. If a person, experiencing a sinful passion, turns to God and says: “Lord, I don’t want this and I don’t want it, help me get rid of it,” there is practically no sin on the person. There is sin - to the extent that our heart participated in these tempting desires. And how much we allowed him to participate in this.
— Apparently, we need to dwell on the “disease of telling,” which stems from a certain cowardice during confession. For example, instead of saying “I behaved selfishly,” I begin to tell: “At work... my colleague says... and in response I say...”, etc. I eventually report my sin, but - just like that, within the frame of the story. This is not even a frame, these stories play, if you look at it, the role of clothing - we dress in words, in the plot, so as not to feel naked in confession.
- Indeed, it’s easier this way. But you don’t need to make it easy for yourself to confess. Confession should not contain unnecessary details. There shouldn't be any other people with their actions. Because when we talk about other people, we most often justify ourselves at the expense of these people. We also make excuses due to some of our circumstances. On the other hand, sometimes the extent of the sin depends on the circumstances of the sin. Beating a person out of drunken anger is one thing, stopping a criminal while protecting the victim is quite another. To refuse to help one's neighbor because of laziness and selfishness is one thing, to refuse because the temperature that day was forty is another. If a person who knows how to confess confesses in detail, it is easier for the priest to see what is happening to this person and why. Thus, the circumstances of the sin need to be reported only if the sin you committed is not clear without these circumstances. This is also learned through experience.
Excessive telling during confession may also have another reason: a person’s need for participation, spiritual help and warmth. Here, perhaps, a conversation with a priest is appropriate, but it should be at a different time, certainly not at the time of confession. Confession is a Sacrament, not a conversation.
— Priest Alexander Elchaninov in one of his entries thanks God for helping him every time experience confession as a catastrophe. What should we do to ensure that our confession, at least, is not dry, cold, formal?
“We must remember that the confession that we say in church is the tip of the iceberg. If this confession is everything, and everything is limited to it, we can say that we have nothing. There was no actual confession. There is only the grace of God, which, despite our foolishness and recklessness, still acts. We have the intention to repent, but it is formal, it is dry and lifeless. It’s like that fig tree, which if it bears any fruit, it will be with great difficulty.Our confession is performed at another time and prepared at another time. When we, knowing that tomorrow we will go to church, confess, sit down and sort out our lives. When I think: why have I judged people so many times during this time? But because, judging them, I myself look better in my own eyes. Instead of dealing with my own sins, I condemn others and justify myself. Or I find some kind of pleasure in condemnation. When I understand that as long as I judge others, I will not have the grace of God. And when I say: “Lord, help me, otherwise, how long will I kill my soul with this?” After this, I will come to confession and say: “I condemned people countless times, I exalted myself over them, I found sweetness in this for myself.” My repentance lies not only in the fact that I said it, but in the fact that I decided not to do it again. When a person repents in this way, he receives very great grace-filled consolation from confession and confesses in a completely different way. Repentance is a change in a person. If no change occurred, confession remained to a certain extent a formality. “Fulfillment of Christian duty,” as for some reason it was customary to express it before the revolution.
There are examples of saints who brought repentance to God in their hearts, changed their lives, and the Lord accepted this repentance, although there was no stole over them, and the prayer for the remission of sins was not read. But there was repentance! But with us it’s different - the prayer is read, and the person receives communion, but repentance as such has not occurred, there is no break in the chain of sinful life.
There are people who come to confession and, having already stood in front of the lectern with the cross and the Gospel, begin to remember what they sinned. This is always a real torment - both for the priest, and for those who are waiting for their turn, and for the man himself, of course. How to prepare for confession? Firstly, an attentive, sober life. Secondly - there is good rule, in place of which you can’t think of anything: every day in the evening, devote five to ten minutes not even to thinking about what happened during the day, but to repentance before God for what a person considers himself to have sinned. Sit down and mentally go through the day - from the morning hours to the evening hours. And realize every sin for yourself. A big sin or a small one - you need to understand it, feel it and, as Anthony the Great says, put it between yourself and God. See it as an obstacle between yourself and the Creator. Feel this terrible metaphysical essence of sin. And for every sin ask God for forgiveness. And put in your heart the desire to leave these sins in the past. It is advisable to write down these sins in some kind of notebook. This helps to put a limit on sin. We did not write down this sin, we did not do such a purely mechanical action, and it “passed on” to the next day. And then it will be easier to prepare for confession. There is no need to “suddenly” remember everything.
— Some parishioners prefer confession in this form: “I sinned against such and such a commandment.” This is convenient: “I sinned against the seventh” - and there is no need to say anything more.
“I believe this is completely unacceptable.” Any formalization of spiritual life kills this life. Sin is pain human soul. If there is no pain, then there is no repentance. St. John Climacus says that the forgiveness of our sins is evidenced by the pain that we feel when we repent of them. If we do not experience pain, we have every reason to doubt that our sins have been forgiven. And the Monk Barsanuphius the Great, answering questions different people, has repeatedly said that a sign of forgiveness is a loss of sympathy for previously committed sins. This is the change that must happen to a person, an internal turn.
- Another common opinion: why would I repent if I know that I won’t change anyway - it will be hypocrisy and hypocrisy on my part.
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But here is a situation known to me personally: a girl regularly came to one of the Moscow churches and confessed that she earned her living by what is, as they say, the most ancient profession. No one allowed her to receive Communion, of course, but she continued to walk, prayed, and tried to somehow participate in the life of the parish. I don’t know if she managed to leave this craft, but I know for sure that the Lord protects her and does not leave her, waiting for the necessary change.
It is very important to believe in the forgiveness of sins, in the power of the Sacrament. Those who do not believe complain that after confession there is no relief, that they leave the church with a heavy soul. This comes from a lack of faith, even from a lack of faith in forgiveness. Faith should give a person joy, and if there is no faith, there is no need to hope for any spiritual experiences and emotions.
- Sometimes it happens that some long-standing (usually) action of ours evokes in us a reaction that is more humorous than repentant, and it seems to us that talking about this action in confession is excessive zeal, bordering on hypocrisy or coquetry. Example: I suddenly remember that once in my youth I stole a book from the library of a holiday home. I think that we need to say this in confession: no matter how you look at it, the eighth commandment has been broken. And then it becomes funny...
“I wouldn’t take it so lightly.” There are actions that cannot even be formally committed, because they destroy us - not even as people of faith, but simply as people of conscience. There are certain barriers that we must set for ourselves. These saints could have spiritual freedom, which allows them to do things that are formally condemned, but they did them only when these actions were for the good.
— Is it true that you do not need to repent of sins committed before Baptism if you were baptized in mature age?
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— We have talked quite a lot here about how to prepare for confession, but what should we read or, as they say, proofread at home the day before, what prayers? The prayer book contains the Follow-up to Holy Communion. Do I need to proofread it in its entirety and is that enough? In addition, Communion may not follow confession. What to read before confession?
— It is very good if a person reads the Canon of Repentance to the Savior before confession. There is also a very good Penitential Canon Mother of God. This could be simply a prayer with the repentant feeling “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” And it is very important, remembering every sin committed, bringing to the heart the awareness of its disastrousness for us, from the heart, in your own words, ask God for forgiveness for it, simply standing in front of icons or making bows. To come to what St. Nicodemus the Holy Mountainer calls the feeling of being “guilty.” That is, to feel: I am dying, and I am aware of it, and I am not justifying myself. I recognize myself as worthy of this death. But with this I go to God, surrender myself before His love and hope for His mercy, believing in it.
Abbot Nikon (Vorobiev) has a wonderful letter to a certain woman, no longer young, who, due to age and illness, had to prepare for the transition to Eternity. He writes to her: “Remember all your sins and repent of each one - even the one you confessed - before God until you feel that the Lord forgives you. It’s not a charm to feel that the Lord forgives; this is what the holy fathers called joyful crying—repentance that brings joy.” This is the most necessary thing - to feel peace with God.
Interviewed by Marina Biryukova