By waiting for the right opportunity, you can wait until the end of your life - and this is unlikely to be part of your plans. Definitely not included in mine. In the meantime, in order to change life for the better, just need clear plan and one "hell week".

There is a joke: “To leave your comfort zone, you must first enter it.” But if we have already entered and are sitting in this warm swamp, then for the sake of the good cause of changing our only life I'll have to go out again.

What is comfort?

This is a habit and a familiar situation that gives the impression of being safe (in fact, it is not a fact that it is, but we perceive it that way). And even if we suffer and endure inconvenience, it is habitual suffering and familiar inconvenience.

One day, all this may make someone very sad - and the person makes a big mistake: he runs away abruptly and far away.

Tired of his favorite, but poorly paid and unpromising job, he quits and goes to Thailand. Everything in the family is so broken that it can’t be fixed - he leaves his family... and goes to Thailand. I took out a loan and have nothing to pay back...well, you understand...))

Meanwhile, according to former Norwegian special forces soldier Erik Bertrand Larssen, for real change you don’t need to run anywhere (you can’t run away from yourself). But we need to change the reality in which this moment life is realized.

Larssen went through “hell week” (this is a harsh way of selecting fighters). For seven days the newcomers eat nothing and hardly sleep, they go through new tests in the style of “reach the goal by ice water and dirt."

A week later, the Norwegian was almost exhausted, but proud of himself, and most importantly, his life had completely changed. He learned to appreciate simple things and realized that he could achieve anything he wanted.

So do we all.

Larssen has developed a civilian version of “hell week” that can be read and implemented independently at any time.

But we have all heard the parable about the broom. One twig can be easily broken, but several are more difficult. A whole broom with bare hands you won't break it at all. And doing something alone for your beloved life is very interesting and useful, but sometimes boring and difficult. The fuse quickly disappears, the head forgets everything.

So let's do this together. This is a hell of a week for everyone! :) In the morning - a motivating and “parental” kick, in the evening - a report and debriefing. This option will definitely work - and in seven days we will all receive new life on a silver platter.

It's decided. Stay tuned: as soon as everything is ready, I will announce mobilization.

Perhaps, there have been periods in every person’s life when they wanted to give up everything, cross it out, erase it, break it, and when they left, burn the bridges behind them in order to start a new life. How to start life with clean slate when all meaning is lost and disappointment in life reaches its climax? Adopt a series of drastic changes!

Changes of any nature can be either rapid, severe, comprehensive - revolutionary, or soft, long-lasting, gradual - evolutionary. Of course, evolution is better than revolution in changing your own life as well as in other areas.

Evolution is always less painful and destructive (both for the person himself and for those around him), but due to the fact that many people like to stretch their problems to the extent of a catastrophe, it is often possible to solve them only through revolutionary means. By analogy with illness, we can say that while life problem small, it can be eliminated by taking pills, but if it is already life-threatening, a serious operation is needed.

For example, if a woman has been putting up with her unemployed husband for ten years, who is idle and does nothing but beg her for money for drinks, while supporting him and the whole family, there is only one way out - divorce and eviction from the apartment. If the problem is that there is less passion and more routine in the relationship between husband and wife, the evolutionary method is suitable: make changes in everyday life, responsibilities, add extreme, novelty to life, change externally or internally for both or one of the spouses and etc.

Is it easy to start life from scratch?

To start life from scratch, sometimes you need absolutely minor changes, such as apartment renovation, conversation with wise man, a change of image or a trip to a country that you have long wanted to visit.

It happens that a new life begins unnoticed as a result of gradual personality development and self-improvement. But most often people need quick and significant change in life circumstances, which is unlikely to happen by itself (or it will take another life).

As a rule, several dramatic changes or a complete lifestyle change are required. To start living from scratch, you need to set yourself this target.

Unfortunately, there are people (and there are many of them) who live in ignorance or unwillingness to change anything, even if life brings them nothing but suffering. Such people either consciously choose the path of torment, considering it correct, or they simply find and receive unhealthy pleasure or hidden benefit from their torment.

What do they want people who realize the need for life changes? Most often these are the following desires:

The problems that caused the desire to start life from scratch are different, for each person they are special (although they may be perceived by others as typical), but the ultimate goal is the same - a happy life.

Every person wants to be happy, the only difference is that some people expect happiness as a miracle and believe in such a possibility for themselves, others always complain that they have had an unfortunate lot and do not try to change anything, and still others believe in better life and create it with their labor.

Analysis of the old and design of a new life

The Russian language is unusually rich in meaning. Very often, answers to many complex life questions are hidden in words, phrases, sayings and proverbs.

So the phrase “start life from scratch” already contains the answer to how to do this: arm yourself with a clean sheet of paper and a pen. For what? In order to describe the desired new life and begin to turn the dream into reality.

There are no and cannot be universal recommendations on how to start life from scratch, but psychologists recommend adhering to the following algorithm of actions:

1. The very first and most important thing is understand that it’s time to start life from scratch, dare to do it, overcoming fears and self-doubt. There is simply no other way but to gain courage and courage.

You need to pick up a blank sheet of paper and write the title “My new, happy life!”

1. Answer two questions:

• What prevents you from being happy?

The answers need to be written down one below the other on the left half of the sheet.

This question is easy for most people to answer. Everything that gets in the way are pressing problems: unloved work, loneliness, unfaithful husband/wife, lack of self-confidence, excess weight, lack of money and so on.

You need to write down everything that comes to mind, not only external interference, but also internal barriers. Then select and highlight the largest ones that give rise to other difficulties, life difficulties. It may be that there is only one main problem and, by pulling it like a thread, you will be able to unwind the whole tangle of troubles. If such a problem is discovered, it should be highlighted specifically.

• What will make me happy?

Also write down the answers in the column on the right, opposite the first list.

When answering this question, you need to try to be as precise as possible. If you need money, then how much, if a husband, then what kind, and so on.

As a result, you will get two columns that are very similar in content, only the first will describe the problems, and the second will solve them. Perhaps one problem will have several solutions, or vice versa.

Solutions will be either cardinal, revolutionary or softer, evolutionary.

For example, an annoying girlfriend who constantly calls on the phone and spends hours talking about her problems prevents her from living happily (as a result, things are not done, her mood is at zero, she has breakdowns with her family and quarrels with them). What is not enough for happiness is either a sharp and complete severance of relations with a friend (a drastic measure) or a gradual reduction in the time of communication with her (a softer measure).

You need to imagine, dream about how you want to live, and then write down or sketch all your desires on a piece of paper.

These dreams should not be exorbitant, but achievable. When dreaming, you imagine not only what is customary and fashionable to want in society, but what suits, complements, and makes you truly happy.

You can imagine one day in a happy life and describe it: where it begins, what kind of people are nearby, what the day is filled with, what the work schedule is, what the nature of the vacation is, and so on.

In fact, the picture of a happy life is a set of answers to the question “What will make me happy?”, only not scattered, but holistic.

From words to actions

After it becomes clear what you need to get rid of for good and what you need to bring into your life so that it changes radically in better side, we need to take active action.

Naturally, after the analytical work done, drawing up a picture of a happy life, making new plans, each person will have his own goals, but as an example we will further describe active actions to help you start living differently:

• changing thinking from negative to positive,
• increased self-confidence, optimism,
• taking responsibility for one's own life,
• changing of the living place,
• change of social circle, environment,
• change of type of activity or place of work,
• change of marital status,
• acquiring a new hobby,
• change in image, appearance,
• getting rid of fears, complexes and other psychological problems,
• resolution of health problems,
• getting rid of bad habits and addictions,
• acquiring new, positive habits (walking in nature, reading, playing sports, living in the present and enjoying life, asking for forgiveness and forgiving, helping loved ones, others).

Changes should start from the very beginning main problem. For example, if life is poisoned by an unloved job, you need, first of all, to change it, perhaps all other aspects of life will improve after that on their own.

If it is difficult to start with radical changes, you can take on smaller ones, the main thing is begin.

The second thing that is important to remember: fundamental changes must be thoughtful, and not hasty. When leaving a job, it is better to find another one in advance, or at least understand that it is possible to find one. When leaving to live in another city, learn in advance and as much as possible about how people live there. When entering into a new relationship, take a closer look at your partner, and not through rose-colored glasses.

What is also extremely important to know and not forget when changing your life is that any external changes impossible without internal transformations. Sometimes only internal work on oneself serves to change life.

For example, there is a huge difference between when a person moves to a new place of residence due to the fact that he cannot realize himself as a professional and another situation when he is unable to hold down any job due to an irresponsible attitude to work. In the first case, a person will move, find himself and live for a long time (maybe forever), and in the second he will continue to move from place to place, not understanding that it is not his job or place of residence that needs to be changed, but himself.

This leads to another important conclusion: it is necessary know what mistakes were made earlier so as not to repeat them in the future. At the same time, remember that no one is immune from mistakes. In the new life, they may also happen, but you should not perceive them as a failure, this is experience and while everything can still be corrected, this must be done immediately, without delaying or increasing the scale of the problems.

And finally, even if you have to step into nowhere, starting life from scratch, not knowing what lies ahead, it is better to take this risky step than to live your whole life feeling like an unhappy person.

Probably every person at least once wanted to start a new life. If you feel a desire to change something in your life, then it appeared for a reason and you should not ignore it.

How to start a new life and change yourself

There is no need to be afraid to part with the past.

Many people simply cannot imagine starting the next day any other way. After all, it often seems that things could get worse. However, if you are optimistic about tomorrow and look forward to changes for the better, it will happen.

Make a list of problems that you want to eliminate from your life.

Read it carefully, feel your negative attitude towards them and burn this list. This is a psychological technique that will help you overcome your troubles to start a new life.

Find a new hobby. Very often, new hobbies help a person overcome depression, open up new horizons in life, and help distract from negative thoughts. That is why a new hobby must appear in the life of a person who wants to start a new life.

Meet new people, make new friends.

From communicating with new people you can gain knowledge and emotions that will be useful to you in your new life. This doesn't mean you need to cut ties with friends from your past. You only need to break up with those people who create problems for you.

Remove from your sight everything that reminds you of past life.

It could be a photograph ex-wife or documents from previous work. You shouldn't destroy them, because when you start a new life, the memories won't be so painful.

Change your appearance.

It is not for nothing that there is an opinion that changes in appearance are equivalent to the beginning of a new life. We do not advise you to make radical changes in your appearance, although if you want, you can afford them. It’s enough just to slightly change your hairstyle, update your makeup, and consult with a stylist about your clothes. At first glance, this recommendation applies only to the fair sex, however, men can also change their appearance somewhat.

Learn from your mistakes from your past life and try not to repeat them.

Of course, you made the decision to start a new life for a reason, so try to make the most of your experience so as not to repeat the mistakes of your past life.

Starting a new life at 40

There is hardly a person in our country who has not heard catchphrase that “at forty, life is just beginning.” However, how true is it? This is not at all as simple as it seems, because forty years is a rather difficult time of a midlife crisis.

Focus on your achievements, not your failures.

The main difficulty of this age is that at this time most people begin to sum up some results, analyze what has been done and what has not been achieved. There will always be things that were not completed and goals that could not be achieved. Therefore, the main attention should be focused on the positive aspects, while outlining plans for the future.

If you want to change your life, change your attitude towards it.

Is it worth it once again remind that dissatisfaction own life will not lead to changes for the better. Live as if everything is fine with you, and soon you will see the first positive changes and realize that you managed to start a new life at 40 years old.

Do what you love.

If you've spent many years working in a job you don't love and that's stressful, maybe now is the time to make a change. Even if you can’t change jobs right now, find a hobby you enjoy. Who knows, maybe after a while it will become your job.

Make your cherished dream come true.

Nothing inspires and invigorates more than the fulfillment of long-standing desires. Maybe you for a long time you denied yourself some interesting trip, or maybe you wanted to buy something for yourself. Now is the time to do it.

Take care of your health.

You definitely need to take care of your health and appearance, because only a healthy and attractive person can confidently take on new things. In order to feel good, you need good sleep, balanced diet and moderate physical exercise. if you have bad habits, it's time to give them up. This will give you additional self-confidence and faith in own strength.

How to start life at 40? If you put in some effort and believe in yourself, you will definitely be able to achieve success. new stage development. The main thing is to remember that your soul has no age, which means you will definitely have enough vital energy to survive. a large number of new achievements.

What's stopping you from starting a new life?

Absolutely any day of the year is suitable for starting a new life. The question is often different: “How to start living again”? If you say that it is easy, it will not be true, but the efforts made will undoubtedly justify all your hopes. Before you begin direct leadership, keep in mind that you need an irresistible desire to change everything and an unshakable belief in success.

Let's get rid of the past

All the events you experienced, memories of them, negative thoughts represent your past. To start a new life, you need to get rid of this unnecessary burden, let's stretch our imagination and imagine the past in the form of a suitcase. Huge and inconvenient, crammed to capacity with unnecessary nonsense, it takes up both your hands and partially blocks your view. You have long understood that the contents only bother you and burden you, but you don’t dare throw them away, thereby freeing your hands.

Walking through life, as if through the streets, you notice new objects that you want to take, new people who you want to extend your hand to greet and get to know, but your hands are full. Now that you understand that your past is only weighing you down and taking up space in your heart and mind, you are ready to throw away your suitcase!

Forgiveness

It is impossible to start a new life without forgiving yourself and others associated with you. Forgiveness is the main condition of any liberation. This stage is perhaps the most difficult. To make it easier to overcome it, make a list of people who offended you, and everyone against whom you have even the slightest complaint, including relatives, loved ones, friends, parents, etc. Then, taking a comfortable position, close your eyes and imagine the people on the list.

Let each of them approach you in turn. Ask him sincerely (this is important!) for forgiveness for the hurt caused, and then listen to his apology, hug and feel relief. Then let the next person from the list come up and so on until it ends. This is the longest ritual on the path to liberation, but integral and important.

The last person in this line should be yourself. Ask for forgiveness for the opportunities you didn’t use, for the wrong decisions you made, perhaps for something else, and let your previously conflicting halves merge into one whole. Open your eyes, take a deep breath and feel empowered because your hands are now free.

Setting a goal and moving towards it

The main secret is the goal, the ability to set it correctly and achieve it. And to do this you only need to do two things:

• Determine your goal as accurately as possible.
• Act, daily performing the necessary manipulations to start a new life.

Make a list of goals, hang it above your bed or write it in your diary, and most importantly, constantly look at it, adjust or change goals, write down new ones. Monitor yourself with questions to determine the importance of your goals:

• How will I feel when I get what I want?
• Do I really want this or am I doing this to please someone?
• How does this goal combine with others, does it conflict?

Don't be afraid of anything and start every day with a smile.

Many people are familiar with the following situation: on Sunday evening they promise themselves to start a new life on Monday. It could be proper nutrition, jogging or sports, searching new job and so on. Each person may have their own priorities in life. Monday morning comes and all plans go to hell! Let's figure out why this happens in 90% of cases.

On Sunday evening everything looks rosy and it seems that tomorrow everything will change. But the night passes and for some reason the alarm clock, which you set an hour earlier, does not go off on time, and on the run, stuffing another sandwich, you run headlong to work. Having barely made it to the start of the meeting, you have to listen to the reproaches of your superiors, and at lunchtime, together with the same comrades in misfortune, you go out to smoke another cigarette.

After spending the day in constant hassle, you return home in a bad mood and scolds everyone around - your significant other, children, boss, mother-in-law and even your pet dog. And you understand that all your dreams about changes in life are shattered by the harsh life. Why does it happen in most cases? similar situation? Let's figure it out.

At the very beginning, you need to forget about Monday! Change must happen in the present tense. That is, if you decide to do something, then the decision about it must be finally and irrevocably made at this very moment. And it doesn’t matter if it’s 12 am on Sunday or 6 am on Monday!

You need to set a goal for yourself that will energize you for these changes. You should never doubt your ability to do this - a person can do anything!

1. At the very beginning of changes, it is necessary to correctly determine the goal. You shouldn’t follow other people’s lead and do what is accepted in society. Everyone wants to exercise in the morning, but if you don’t want to, then there’s no need to force yourself. Only has a chance to be achieved.
2. The second effective piece of advice would be to find like-minded people. If you can't find them in real life, it is worth visiting thematic forums on your topic. For those who want to exercise, quit smoking, lose weight - there are a huge number of them.
3. You should never be afraid to fail. Everyone makes mistakes and starts over. This is the only way to achieve success, and it consists of attempts and failures. The main thing is to patiently pursue your goal no matter what.
4. You need to let go of the past. Remember - you are already a completely different person who has new qualities. Now you are starting to change and are no longer the same loser you were. Remember this and try to behave accordingly.
5. Never expect help from anyone. If someone close to you can help you make changes, then strangers simply don’t care about them. Become your own main adviser, critic and coach. Don’t reproach yourself for failures, but don’t give yourself any concessions either. When intermediate goals are achieved, give encouragement.
6. Never complain or envy others. Especially those who have already done what you planned. It is better to learn from experience than to envy. destructive.
7. Constantly review your plans and goals. This will allow you to follow your own path and not take someone else’s path. Start gaining new knowledge and skills - take courses in English online, which are available on the website voxmate.ru, attend trainings or seminars on self-development. Lots of options!

If you want to start a new life and really change it for the better, then you need to constantly work on yourself so that one morning you wake up as a completely different person.

It’s scary - run, if you feel hungry - eat, there’s a lot of work - put it aside. The initial reactions were inherited from our ancestors by evolution. Meanwhile only modern man has the ability to create, plan and choose. Psychologist Neil Fiore in his book The easy way start a new life" gives instructions on how to awaken your “I” for an interesting and rich life.

Refuse stereotypes

Children under three years old grasp everything on the fly. It is more convenient to crawl, but within a year they stand on their feet. Learning to speak is not easy, but even foreign language will not be a problem for the child. And all because children are curious and not constrained by fears.

But unbridled interest in the world can lead to traumatic consequences, since as the child ages, it becomes more difficult to keep track of him. Then concerned parents set boundaries of what is permitted. Over time, the “little genius” falls asleep, and a constrained adult is born. He is afraid of seeming funny, of not being able to cope with the task, of remaining misunderstood.

What would be the first thing you would change in your life if you knew it would significantly improve its quality?

To reawaken a passion for life, you need to abandon stereotypes and combine unconscious impulses (sometimes, at first glance, “empty dreams”) with adult awareness of actions. As a result, you will be able to cope with any problem: quit smoking, overcome a serious illness, lose weight, finally go for a run, finish an important project - whatever.

First, honestly answer the question: what would you like to change in your life first of all if you knew that it would significantly improve its quality?

Make a choice

At the second stage, you already know what you intend to fight. Most likely, you have already tried to do this before, but for some reason you were unable to complete your plan.

But where are you then? Neil Fiore suggests giving yourself the power of an arbitrator: considering opposing points of view, tracking your reaction to them and finding the resultant of your multidirectional motives. This way you will reach the optimal solution. The psychologist calls this exercise the “third chair method.”

As you self-reflect, try to stick to the “yes” pattern: “yes, I understand your concerns,” “yes, it won’t be easy and we might fail,” “yes, it’s not an easy path, but it’s worth it,” and so on.

Maybe one part of your “I” is afraid of failure, and the second, on the contrary, is a supporter of radical methods?

Then be sure to draw the line: “and now I make a choice.” From now on, the awakened strongest “I” - that same judge - will protect you from any “what if”: after all, you already know about them and have accepted responsibility for them.

“No, I won’t be able to exercise three times a week, because I’m so tired at work” or “It’s better not to take risks, because if you don’t succeed, you will remain a failure forever” - what else does your inner voice tell you when you bet an ambitious but desirable goal? Unfortunately, there may be not two or three such voices, but much more.

Announce a “sharing party,” but instead of money or specialties, let parts of your “I” bring their doubts. Thoughts about possible risks, torment, benefits and consequences decision taken write it down in a notepad. When all points of view are brought to a common denominator, clearly formulate your choice.

After this, it will be much easier for you to remove obstacles from your path that previously seemed insurmountable. By regularly spending a few minutes on this exercise, you can get rid of ambivalence in making difficult decisions, no matter what they concern.

If you're afraid public speaking, imagine appearing with a report in front of a full hall of listeners. Notice how your body reacts: how your palms sweat and your knees shake. The exercise motivates you to boldly face danger.

Get support

Having set out on the path to a big goal, a person is faced with symptoms that can be divided into five groups:

• stress and fear;
• internal conflict and procrastination;
• depression and embarrassment;
• loneliness;
• self-accusation.

The strongest “I” has five response traits that will help cope with negative emotional reactions: instead of stress, it gives a feeling of security, instead of internal conflict - awareness of choice, instead of depression - presence in the current moment, instead of self-blame - focus on your task, instead of loneliness - connection with internal resources and capabilities.

By expanding the boundaries of perception and awakening the dormant resources of your “I”, you will learn to manage your dreams

Day by day, as you learn to recognize symptoms and replace them with positive solutions, you will become increasingly adaptable to external circumstances. For example, if you are so overwhelmed with “urgent” things that you already feel trapped (overwhelmed), you need to become aware of the moment “here and now.”

To do this, inhale and exhale deeply, concentrating on relaxing your body, and then repeat the cycle twice. Just 30 seconds will help you focus on the present and prioritize.

Be efficient

Long-term goals - building a house, losing 20 kg, getting... new profession- require a thoughtful plan. Write down the approximate date you want to achieve desired result, and move from it in time intervals up to the present day. What can you do today? After each completed stage, reward yourself and remember that the path itself is sometimes more important than the goal.

To awaken your strongest “I” and learn to be effective, you need to:

• Identify the problem. Guiding questions will help with this: what three habits would you like to get rid of in order to increase inner peace and self-esteem? What three qualities of yourself could you strengthen to make life more interesting and successful?
• Think about the pros and cons, and then make a decision like an arbitrator.
• Replace negative symptoms with positive qualities of the strongest “I”.
• Become a leader who integrates all parts of yourself to achieve a goal and achieve success.

No matter how unattainable a dream may seem, it will remain so as long as you are in the grip of stereotyped ideas about your capabilities. By expanding the boundaries of perception and awakening the dormant resources of your “I”, you will learn to manage your dream.