Funeral speech at a funeral text - farewell words spoken in memory of the deceased by his family and friends. They are pronounced over the grave of the buried with all their hearts. The speaker talks about important and significant events associated with this person, his achievements, and also speaks favorably about the character and personality of the deceased. It is advisable if he says this orally, and not reads it from a piece of paper.

Funeral speech

Quite a lot of people attend funerals and wakes. Mostly these are relatives and friends of the deceased, but there are others - colleagues, acquaintances, school friends and others. As a rule, the head of the family or the oldest and closest person is the first to pronounce the funeral words. In the event that he is in a strong emotional state, then others present can give a speech at the wake.

Funeral speech example:

"My grandmother was wonderful person with a difficult but interesting fate. She, along with her three younger brothers and sister, were raised by her mother alone during the difficult post-war years. To say that they lived poorly then would be an understatement. She had to endure many difficulties and hardships, but she never lost her optimism and presence of mind, constantly helping her mother and taking care of the younger members of the family. And later, having married her military grandfather, she steadfastly endured all the hardships of service. In any circumstances, she always maintained exemplary order at home and taught all family members to do so. Grandma was sometimes strict, but fair. I am glad that I managed to learn from her neatness and order, the ability to organize my life. And her famous apple pies were simply incomparable, no one else could do anything like them! I will always remember you, my dear, beloved grandmother! Your warmth, love and care will remain with us forever.”

If others don’t know you well, then at the beginning of your speech you should introduce yourself and explain under what circumstances you met the deceased. The funeral speech should contain words of gratitude towards the deceased and reflect his positive traits. You can mention any significant moment that occurred with the participation of the deceased.

Funeral words for 40 days:

“I’ll introduce myself for those who don’t know me: my name is (name). We have worked together with (name of deceased) for the past few years and I would like to say a few words in memory of him. He was a true professional in his field, a Specialist with a capital S. Many of our colleagues, young and not only, learned the basics of their craft from him and often used his advice and help. He was very patient and responsive, he could always listen to everyone who turned to him for support, advise something, help out, and never refused anyone’s requests. He could perfectly lift the spirits of anyone who was upset, confused or depressed about something. The countless funny stories, toasts, jokes and anecdotes he told could amuse anyone. We will all greatly miss him at our dinner gatherings and corporate events, where he invariably shone at the table, lifting our morale. There is no other person like him in our team. And maybe it won’t be in my memory anymore. We will all miss him greatly. Until the end of his life, he will remain in my memory and the memory of all our colleagues as an example of perseverance, sparkling cheerfulness, activity and professionalism! Rest in peace, dear colleague!”

It is advisable if you prepare the words for the wake in advance and memorize them. Because a well-formulated text will sound good and be perceived by others. And sluggish, boring speech with hesitations can be regarded as disrespect for the deceased and his family. If you are afraid that you will forget the words, you can take with you a piece of paper with a sample of the funeral speech. You need to pronounce words clearly and slowly. You need to speak confidently and so that others can hear you, but not too loudly.

Speech at a wake examples

Funeral words on the anniversary of death (from a colleague):

"Friends! The deceased worked honestly at the (name) enterprise for more than twenty years. We all knew him as a decent, honest and modest person. Valued for skillful hands and reliable character. We will miss his many invisible but irreplaceable contributions to the work! The bright memory of him will remain in our hearts!”

Speech at the wake 1 year (from friends):

“Friends, the best of us has gone to another world. We are all deeply saddened. Our souls are bleeding from untimely loss. The deceased was a support to all of us. He was the first to help and did not wait for requests or complaints. His kind heart and a wide soul were always wide open. He was a clear beacon and guide in the complex and dangerous world for all of us, his friends! May the soul of this magnificent man rest in peace! We will always remember him with a feeling of light sadness mixed with secret melancholy!”

Memorial speech for 40 days (from relatives):

“All his life, our father was a worthy example not only to his children, but also to those around him. In everyday life, he demonstrated a wise understanding of true values, kindness and devotion. Any person left him with an enlightened soul. And to us, his children, our father instilled a love for people, a high sense of responsibility and devotion to the Motherland. We consider his departure unfairly early. Eternal, blessed memory to him!”

“Our grandfather was very kind and a good man. His path was long and difficult. He perceived all the difficulties that befell the country as his own. He worked and raised children without complaining about the lack of benefits, lack of food or amenities. He raised children and was a support for his grandchildren. This magnificent man will be greatly missed by all of us. May his memory be blessed!”

Words of condolences are expressed not only during funerals, but also on days of remembrance of the deceased. They say a speech at the wake 40 days, a year after the date of death, and also during Parents' Saturdays and others Orthodox holidays. Speeches can be made both at the cemetery and during funeral dinners.

What do they say at funerals? At this event, all deceased relatives and friends are remembered. They remember what they were like during life, what they were interested in, what they loved. Words of condolences are spoken and the blessed memory of the deceased is honored. It is forbidden to say anything bad about the deceased or to recall old grievances. It’s either good or nothing, says the popular saying.

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Funeral poems

In addition to the funeral speech, condolences can be expressed in poetry or toasts. These options are more suitable for a wake than for the funeral itself. For example, memorial poems are read on the anniversary of death. They can be written with your own hand or taken ready-made. If you do not have the opportunity to personally attend the wake, you can express your condolences by posting memorial poems in the newspaper.

***
Two tears fell into the flowers,
Two big, pink roses!
From my tormented soul
Hopeless tears rolled out!
They see my wet eyes
Something they don't believe in at all
What you can never change
What is measured with pain and tears!
My heart beats stubbornly
And desperately doesn't want to know
That you can no longer see your beloved eyes,
And you can no longer hug your dear ones!!!

***
You have always been an example to us,
As a person with a pure soul.
And the memory of you is alive
In the hearts and souls of your loved ones.

***
People close to us are leaving.
Do not realize that - forever,
Do not exhaust all the pain of separation,
And he hits backhand - never.

We won't see them, we won't hear them,
We won't ask, we won't talk,
Although, as before, we breathe them,
We love them, we wait for them, we adore them.

Ridiculous, strange, impossible,
That dawn has come again,
Call, scream or cry heart-rendingly,
And there are no more loved ones nearby.

***
We cannot understand or comprehend
Can't survive, can't overcome,
That the chariot of life circles,
As it was before, exactly the same.

The sun is shining and the air is so fresh,
What days it is, but it’s very sad.
Gone is the beautiful hope from hopes
And again my heart is sad and empty.
There has been silence in the apartment for six months now,
Everything there is yours and it’s hard to believe in it.
I would drink the cup of grief to the dregs,
But it still cannot be measured.
I really want to come to you again,
Kiss and just be with you.
With hope to resist in the fight,
Argue with illness and disease.
The further you go, the more immeasurable the depth
The abyss that has come between us
Like you now, like in childhood, I need you,
But it is impossible to beg with tears.
I'm strong, you know I can do it
After all, you and I have been through so much.
I am forever in your debt,
You are an eternal piece in my world.
I'll bring you flowers and stand
And the heart will touch with its wound.
And you will feel how much I love you
My beloved, only mother.

***
Memorial verses for 1 year:
You died too early
Words cannot express our pain.
Sleep, dear, you are our pain and wound,
The memory of you is always alive.

***
We come here
To put flowers,
It’s very difficult, dear,
We can live without you.

***
The Great Tribulation cannot be measured,
Tears won't help my grief.
You are not with us, but forever
You will not die in our hearts.

***
Where do all the dreams go?
And why don't they return?
How we experience pain
After all, they were happy once.
Like waking up every day
Understand that this is all reality,
How painful it is to remember that day
When everything in life changed.

***
My soul is worried without you,
You don't need girlfriends or friends.
Why is it possible without millions?
Why is it impossible without one?

***
I don't rock you in your crib
I come again to the cold fence
I will fix the fallen wreath
And I will sing to you, dear son...

***
They usually leave without saying goodbye,
Without whispering yours last words,
Perhaps without going on a long journey,
On that long road of dreams and dreams.
Just yesterday they smiled sweetly at us,
Their eyes emitted a bright light,
And as always, waiting for us to visit,
We dreamed of giving our friendly advice.
They, like all of us, really wanted to live,
And every moment brought them joy,
We didn’t have time to do everything we wanted to do,
They still had so much strength.
At some point, everything broke off,
Someone from above told them their deadline,
The soul rushed about in confusion,
That she didn’t even have time to tell us a few words.
Even if they are not with us, we love them,
And we remember joyful days,
And our heart will never forget them,
It’s as if they are somewhere nearby.

***
We are sad and sad
And there are no other feelings.
Let's remember all the parents,
Let's remember all our relatives!

Let's remember all those who have passed away,
In the prime of his life,
Brothers and sisters of the dead,
Friends and strangers!

They once lived
And they made us happy
Laughed and loved
They took care of us.

A long time ago or recently
They are no longer with us
And reverently to the grave
We bring a bouquet!

In fast-flowing time
We don’t remember other things,
But you are family to us
More than alive!

We ask You, Lord,
About mercy alone,
Forgive their sins, Lord,
May their souls rest!
***
Among those who love there is agreement
Among the lonely there is only pain
Among those deceived by love - revenge
And among the dead - memory and separation

***
Death took you away on a path of no return
And brought me beyond the boundaries of existence.
Here I dissolved in the quiet echo of the alarm
A life lived “in Russian” is yours.
And all that was in the heart before was pain and rage,
Dreams, hopes, faith and love -
In the space of space it suddenly invisibly disintegrated,
But maybe it will be reborn in someone again.
And there are white-trunked birches near the grave,
When the moon is silent in the night,
Tears and dew fall before the clear dawns of the earth,
That the mother's eyes did not drain to the bottom.

***
Your watch has stopped. how you didn’t want to leave!!!
But the heart has stopped beating, and we can’t bring you back,
You've been through a lot in your life,
War and famine, but you survived in spite of everyone.
Your clock ticks in your friends' houses, everyone loved you! you've always been lucky!
Giving life to your family’s watches, you poured your breath into them.
You lubricated their hearts and eased the hours of suffering.
But you couldn’t help yourself, and it’s useless to lubricate your heart.
I didn’t win this fight, I gave it all, I gave it all for free.
We gave you the warmth of our hearts, and we were always with you,
Our dear grandfather, father-in-law, father and father-in-law,
You were so afraid to be alone, you were so afraid to be with yourself.
But the black hag came to you, swinging her scythe and hitting you straight in the heart.
The clock has stopped, but the soul
Stayed with us, we are always with you, we are together.
February, frost, trees without leaves, and we haven’t learned to live without you.
You wanted to be with us so much, but alas
Your watch has stopped...

Funeral toasts

Funeral toasts at a wake are usually said at the table. They do not necessarily specify the identity of the deceased. You can express general condolences to all the deceased:

The grandfather sat in heaven and wept bitterly. A boy came up to him and asked why he was grieving. The old man answered him:
- There is a custom on earth - to drink for the repose of our souls. And then we are always full and with a full jug of wine. We are glad that the children remember us. And now I have an empty jug and that’s why I’m sad.
So let's drink to those who are not with us!

Friends, today is a day of sorrow. There was a time when we had fun and rejoiced with someone who left us. But today you and I drink this cup of sorrow ourselves, seeing off a person close to us on their last journey. Not everyone in the world was honored with the Dormition, like the Mother of God and other holy people. But we will keep in our hearts the good memory of our friend, having hope for the resurrection and new meeting in a new place. Let's drink to the dregs the wine of sadness!

IN wolf pack the leader died suddenly without leaving a will. The wolves announced a meeting to elect a new leader. For three days they argued and squabbled, because each was afraid that the new leader would begin to take revenge on those who voted against him. When they were already hoarse from screaming, the old wise wolf stood up and said:
- Let's choose someone from outside our pack to be an impartial leader.
Everyone agreed and asked who. Then the wise old wolf suggested choosing a goat as leader. The wolves began to be indignant:
- We just didn’t have enough goats yet!
But the wise old wolf explained:
- Even though he is a goat, he has one advantage: if he starts causing chaos, he can always be bullied.
The wolves agreed with a laugh and called the goat. When they brought the goat trembling with fear, they said to him:
- Listen carefully! We will choose you as our leader if you don’t act like a jerk.
The goat became even more frightened and replied:
- I'm a goat. But I renounce my asshole past. I swear I will never be an asshole again.
The wolves made an approving noise and dedicated the goat to their leader.
“Now you are our leader,” said the old wise wolf. - You can order us whatever you want, and we will obey. Our fate is in your hands.
All the wolves, with their tails between their legs, nodded affirmatively and asked the goat to make a speech. The goat quickly jumped onto the rock, spread his legs wider, fluffed out his beard, stuck out his horns, looked around the silent flock with a slow gaze and bleated sternly:
- Well, which one of us is the goat?
So let's remember our glorious leaders!

Toasts at a wake can also be expressed in poetic form:

Blessed memory of those who have left us,
Let's drink to this now.
Let it be like granite in our hearts,
Preserves the memory of loved ones who have passed away.
Let all the good things that happened to them
A damp grave will not bury you.
No matter how long we keep the memory,
He will live with us for that long.

Funeral notes

You can also honor the memory of the deceased with the help of memorial notes. In churches there is a special table where there is a sample memorial note on which you can write it. A cross is placed at the very top of the sheet and marked “for repose.” Then they write full names deceased in the genitive case and in church writing (for example, Ivan - John), neatly and legibly. Usually about ten to fifteen names are written. Moreover, everyone who is written there must be baptized in the Orthodox Church.

In addition to the names, the note indicates which deceased person is: newly deceased - deceased for forty days after death or ever-memorable (worthy of constant remembrance) - deceased who has a memorable date on this day.

When going to a funeral or wake, it is important to remember etiquette. You need to behave delicately and tactfully. It is worth preparing words of condolences, which can be expressed through a funeral speech, memorial poems or toasts. An appropriate and competent speech will be appreciated with gratitude by the family and friends of the deceased.

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It is traditionally believed that a wake is not only a funeral meal, but also a prayer. Moreover, holding a wake involves visiting the cemetery and cleaning its territory.

Orthodox commemoration of the dead primarily involves prayer. And only after this is the funeral table. Of course, the funeral itself, days 9 and 40 are no less significant events, to which all relatives, close friends, acquaintances and colleagues from work are invited.

However, at the funeral of 1 year, you can not do this, but spend the day in prayer among your dearest people in family circle. Also, a year after a sad event, it is customary to visit the cemetery.

One year commemoration

If a person was baptized during his lifetime, he is ordered to have a funeral commemoration at the Liturgy. Prayer is a huge help for people who have left this world. After all, by and large, the deceased does not need either a monument or a luxurious meal, the only thing that can be done is close person for his soul is to read prayers and remember his good deeds.

You can order the Liturgy in the church in the evening the day before the funeral or in the morning on the same day. Among other things, the deceased is also remembered at meals. On this day, it is customary to prepare various dishes: this is necessarily soup, main course, and at the request of relatives, the favorite dishes of the deceased are prepared. Don't forget about pancakes, jelly and pastries.

On the day of commemoration of the death of the deceased, you should definitely visit his grave. If necessary, they restore order there: they tint the fence, plant flowers, pine needles (thuja takes root best, it does not grow in breadth and does not take root, but only grows upward). If there was a temporary monument on the grave, then it is exactly in the year after death that it is replaced with a permanent one.

Memorial meal at the wake for 1 year

Of course, the hosts want to treat the invited people tastier, but do not forget about Orthodox posts. So, if the funeral took place on the day of fasting, prohibited foods should be excluded and only those dishes that are allowed to be served should be served.

At the table it is necessary to remember the deceased, his good deeds and character traits. You should not turn the funeral table into a “drunken gathering.” After all, the word “commemoration” arose from the word “remember.”

The first dish served at the funeral table is kutia. It is boiled rice or wheat cereal with honey and raisins. While eating the dish, they think about the deceased. Such food is considered a symbol of resurrection; according to tradition, it can be sprinkled with holy water.

The following dishes on the funeral table, namely soup and main course, can be anything, depending on the taste preferences of the deceased or the hosts. It could be regular chicken noodle soup or rich borscht, goulash with pasta or jellied meat, stuffed peppers or pilaf, as long as meat dishes were not prohibited by fasting. As a pastry, you can serve pie with filling or pancakes.

It should be noted that the days of remembrance must be met in a good mood, be in the mood and not be offended by the deceased for leaving this world. Moreover, it is considered correct to distribute alms and clothes or other belongings of the deceased to those in need at the funeral.

A wake is a ritual performed to honor the memory of the deceased. The basis of a wake is a joint meal, arranged by loved ones in the house of the deceased person, or in the dining room.

Funeral services are carried out by:

• on the day of death;
• three days after death - the day of the funeral, when the soul goes to another world;
• on the ninth day;
• on the fortieth day;
• the memorial meal is held six months after the death, and then on all subsequent anniversaries.

As usual, relatives or close people of the deceased come to the wake. It is important to remember that you cannot drive away those who come to honor the memory of the deceased. As a rule, wakes are organized not for guests and not for the sake of a feast, but with the goal of remembering the deceased and praying for his repose. It is especially important to read a prayer for the deceased before the funeral meal. Priests advise reading the seventeenth Kathisma from the Psalter and the prayer “Our Father” before starting to eat.

Shift of funeral date

It happens that the memorial day falls on religious holiday, or on weekdays, when it is not possible to leave work, in connection with the preparation of everything necessary for the funeral meal. As a result, the question arises: is it possible to postpone the date of commemoration?

The priests believe that the meal can be held earlier or later exact date death. If there are good reasons that prevent you from holding a memorial dinner, you should focus, first of all, on them. However, if there are no compelling reasons to postpone the funeral meal to another day, it is better not to do this, because the afterlife has its own rules. On this day it is better to focus on good deeds, for example, distributing funeral food to people in need.

Funerals should not be held during Happy Easter And holy week Great Lent. These weeks everything is focused on the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, as well as the news of his return to life. Therefore, if the date allotted for funeral dinner, coincides with these periods, it is best to move the memorial meal to the day of Radonitsa - the day when the dead are remembered.

If Memorial Day falls on the eve of the Christmas holidays, it would be more correct if the commemoration is moved to January 8th. Such an event is taken as good omen, because the wake is dedicated to the event of birth into an endless life in another world.

The priests also recommend remembering that you should first pray for the deceased. Therefore, the day before the memorial meal, it is recommended to order the Liturgy for the burial of the Soul of the deceased and the Panikhida for the memorial day. And the memorial meal can be postponed to one of the first days off of subsequent anniversaries of death. However, it is not advisable to postpone the wake, organized on the fortieth day after repose, to an early date.

Memorial Day

In every religion for memorial day a certain date is set aside when relatives or simply close people remember the deceased. If, due to urgent circumstances, it was not possible to honor the memory of loved ones who have died on the day of their death, this must be done on the memorial day.

• In the Orthodox faith, the Tuesday of the second week after Easter is set aside for the memorial day. However, this is not the only day when you can remember your loved ones. In addition to Radonitsa, there are five more days dedicated to the memory of the deceased;
• In the Catholic faith, the memorial day falls on November 2. Commemoration on the third, seventh and thirtieth days may not suit you;
• In the religion of Islam, the main task is to remember the deceased through prayer, to do good deeds on his behalf: to help orphans and poor people. In this religion, it does not matter at all on what day after the repose of the soul the memorial meal will be held. It is important that no one should know in whose name these acts are committed;
• In Buddhism, the day of obedience - the Ulambana holiday - falls on the first half of the seventh month according to the Lunar calendar.

Everyone knows that people who have passed on to another world should be remembered, but people do not often understand for what purpose this should be done. Do not forget that there is a connection between the living and the dead. Therefore, after the death of a person, his loved ones are restless, there is anxiety and sadness in their souls, they often dream of the dead who ask for food or to provide them with some kind of help.

It is generally accepted that after such dreams a person should pray, visit a temple, and do some good deed (help the poor, orphans). All this goodness has good influence on the souls of the dead. If it is not possible to arrange a memorial service on the appointed day, do not be upset. You can leave a note for the clergyman, and he will conduct it himself.

The spiritual state of a person also influences the state of the deceased in the afterlife, in another world in order to help them. To do this, you should begin to change, first of all, yourself and the society around you. To begin with, it would be nice to free yourself from bad habits, forgive all your offenders, not bear grudges against them, start praying, visiting churches, reading the Bible, helping others and orphans.

During the commemoration, one should remember the purpose of a kind of ritual. When saying a general prayer, it is better to ask the Lord God to endow the deceased with the Kingdom of Heaven and give rest to his Soul.

People say that a person dies when the people who loved him during his lifetime stop talking and remembering him. Preserving the fond memory of a close relative is a task that must be understood and accepted, regardless of the transience of our time and the pain of loss. Love and gratitude for all good deeds are difficult to express in words, and in order to properly honor the memory of the deceased, it is necessary to understand why and how a memorial service is organized in his honor.

When should a funeral be held?

It is traditional to hold a wake immediately after the funeral, on the ninth and 40th day, as well as on the anniversary. The belief says that during the first nine days after death, the soul of the deceased is in heaven, and then goes to heaven to appear before the Lord God. This date is also dedicated to the nine “ranks of angels.” Funerals on the 40th day allow, through universal prayer, to atone for the sins that the deceased managed to commit during his life. The date itself, the fortieth day, personifies the ascension of Jesus Christ to heaven after the resurrection. The next day when it is customary to honor the memory of the deceased is the anniversary of his death. Only the closest people come to the meal on this day, remembering how he lived and everything connected with the earthly life of the deceased. Christian believers also celebrate the birthday and day of the angel of the deceased. If relatives are determined to hold prayers, then a memorial service can be held either a few months or six months after the death.

Visit to the cemetery

The first duty on the day of the funeral is to visit the grave of the deceased. This is done both before and after the meal. Fresh flowers are brought to the grave and the grave is decorated with artificial wreaths and baskets. If the rules allow, you can plant a small tree. Plants at the burial site are symbols of eternal life.

In days special commemorations the deceased should clean up the surrounding area, clean up the grave, clear the area of ​​debris, remove excess weeds, paint the fence or renew the cross.

So that the soul of the deceased finds peace, Orthodox faith provides for a special ritual - a meal. Before it begins, those present perform the rite of requiem - lithium. If this is not possible, you need to read the prayer: “Our Father”, Kathisma 17 or Psalm 90.

A funeral meal involves special serving and the presence of special food appropriate Orthodox traditions. The eating of food begins with the serving of kutya. Kutya is made from whole grains (rice, cereals), seasoned with honey and sweet raisins, as a symbol of sweet afterlife, and is also sprinkled with holy water. An obligatory element of the meal are pancakes - a ritual food that symbolizes earthly ideas about the afterlife and the sun. Next, it is necessary to serve the first courses: soup, borscht or cabbage soup, since since ancient times the funeral meal was arranged with the aim of feeding all the participants in the funeral, those who helped dig the grave, carry the coffin, prayed for the deceased and, of course, it was considered a sacred duty to feed the poor or give alms . It was also believed that common prayer during the funeral meal will ease the path of the deceased to the Kingdom of Heaven. It is considered a tradition to serve such dishes as jelly, fish (mainly herring), kulebyaki, vegetable and sausage cuts. After the funeral meal is over, cookies are distributed to everyone present.

During the meal, those present are prohibited from consuming alcoholic beverages. Unfortunately, many families ignore this rule, which is why unnecessary squabbles and showdowns that are not appropriate for such a significant event begin at the table.

Funeral etiquette

Even in those moments when it is very difficult to restrain yourself, it is necessary to follow the rules of etiquette. Their basis, first of all, is a dignified attitude towards the memory of the deceased person, respect for the feelings of loved ones. So, if you become a participant in a funeral procession or wake, you should not behave defiantly, laugh, make noise, or talk actively and very loudly. Don't wave your arms, don't jump, don't be happy. Behave with restraint and calm. You cannot violate the order of speech that has developed, according to generally accepted mourning etiquette.

It is necessary to speak about a deceased person only with positive side. Do not insult other participants in the meal, do not enter into conflicts, or show aggression. You should not come to a wake without an invitation. At the table, sometimes, one empty place is left for the deceased. Next to him is usually placed his portrait, framed with a black ribbon. The first to leave the funeral meal should be the deceased's acquaintances, colleagues, and distant relatives. The last to leave the table are the closest friends and relatives.

According to the rules of mourning etiquette, a strict, classic, straight-cut, dark-colored suit would be appropriate for men. A light-colored shirt and tie are a good complement. It is allowed to have a dim and not too provocative pattern on the tie. A man should not wear a headdress. The exception is cases when it is necessary due to a particular religion. During the hot season, you are allowed to take off your jacket. Regarding representatives military service, here it is acceptable to have a dark-colored dress uniform.

Women should wear a sober dress with a hem that covers the knees. The head must be covered; hats may only be removed indoors. A veil or scarf may be suitable. The presence of any decorations (with the exception of wedding ring) it is not advisable to wear earrings and chains to a funeral. Hair should be picked up, and the face should be free of bright makeup.

How to seat guests at the table?

Regardless of where the memorial ceremony takes place (in a banquet hall or at home), guests must be seated based on a certain principle. First of all, the closest relatives sit at the table, then those present are seated at the table according to the principle of kinship. Regarding the friends of the deceased, they are imprisoned according to seniority.

An Orthodox funeral is a complex ritual, the purpose of which is to honor the memory of a person who has passed away and to pray for his soul. Our funeral agency will help you organize the actual funeral high level. Do not forget that remembering the deceased is our sacred duty.

Days of commemoration after death: on the day of the funeral, 9 and 40days, after 1 year.The essence of the wake. What to say at a wake? Funeral words and funeral speech. Lenten menu.

What to say at a wake

The first word at a wake is traditionally given to the head of the family.. In the future, the duty to monitor general conversation and gently directing its course rests with one of the fairly close or dear people, but still not with the closest relative. It is cruel to expect a mother mourning a child or a spouse bereaved to be able to maintain order while dealing with with your own feelings. Selected for this role a person who knew the deceased well enough and able, in a tense moment, to remember some trait of his character, a nice habit or an event from his life that he can tell those gathered about.

It should be noted that The usual rules of a “social party” do not apply to a wake.: there is no need to try to fill the pause that has arisen in the conversation or break the silence with insignificant remarks - especially on an abstract topic. Silence at a wake is not only normal, but even correct: in silence, everyone remembers the deceased and feels more fully their connection with him.

Funeral speech at a wake

If you want to speak out- stand up, briefly outline how you remember the deceased (naturally, it's only about positive features ), which made him a special person in your eyes. If you remember any case when the deceased did a good deed for you personally or for someone abstract or unfamiliar, tell about it, but do not tell stories in which someone present appears. Everyone can speak at a wake, but try don't drag out your speech too much: After all, it’s already hard for many of those gathered.

You may not know absolutely exactly how to conduct a funeral “correctly”- don't worry too much about it. The main thing in this case is sincere intention and pure thoughts towards the deceased. When you do something in memory of the deceased with an open heart, you can't go wrong. It is important to remember only one thing: the funeral in a secular sense are needed more by the living than by the deceased: like any ritual action in our lives, designed to ease experiences and accept the new reality of life. Therefore, when organizing a memorial service, do not forget about the feelings of those who come to honor the memory of the deceased.

As for strictly Orthodox commemoration, then, of course, it is better to do everything in accordance with the canon, so as not to unknowingly do anything unacceptable from the point of view of the Russian Orthodox Church. It is better to learn about these rules in advance in the church - for example, when you order a funeral service.