In our world, sometimes pious, and in some cases sinful, there are many moments that make you think before doing even a good deed. Such situations may include Christenings.
It so happens that a young couple has a beautiful daughter, but their friend, who is not married, refuses to be a godmother.
Let's figure out whether an unmarried girl can be baptized first and whether there can be negative consequences after this event.
Superstitions in our lifeThere is a belief that if unmarried people baptize their first girl, they will give her their feminine happiness and will never get married. Baptism is a church sacrament, therefore, let us turn to the ministers of the church and the Bible for clarification of the question of why the first girl cannot be baptized by an unmarried girl. The Holy Fathers always give a simple and unambiguous answer to this situation: all this is superstition and nonsense. Christening is a righteous and good deed and there can be no restrictions if you are baptized and have reached the age of thirteen. But superstition is one of them church sins, about which the Bible says: “Do not accept the hearing of vain, lest you join with the unrighteous and be a witness to the unrighteous” (Exodus XXIII, 1). Therefore, it is possible for an unmarried girl to baptize the first girl, but refusing to be baptized according to biblical canons is a great sin.
Our thoughts are materialIn this situation, there is another interesting aspect: all our thoughts are material. It’s probably hard to call it superstition, but it’s quite a theory. Therefore, if you have decided to baptize your first girl, then you must do this with positive emotions and bright thoughts about your future and the future of your goddaughter.
So, whether it is possible for an unmarried woman to baptize the first girl is up to you personally to decide. The Church allows and welcomes such an undertaking, but if you still doubt or are afraid, it is better to refuse. After all, this is a joyful event in which there is no place for fear and dread.
Is it possible to baptize unmarried girls girls? Yes. To become a godmother, you need to have a firm faith in God, profess Orthodoxy, love your future goddaughter as your daughter, and trust her parents as you trust yourself. Age, Family status future godmother does not matter. There can be only one restriction for a believing girl: you cannot baptize a child together with your future husband. That is, a couple who is dating and planning to start a family cannot become godparents for the same child.
Superstitions
Often, when choosing future godparents, mom and dad ask themselves the question: is it possible for an unmarried girl to baptize her first girl? This is due to folk signs and superstitions, nothing to do with Orthodox teaching not having. For some reason, it is generally accepted that an unmarried godmother gives her happiness to her goddaughter. These are, in Russian, "old wives' tales." “According to your faith, be it done to you,” is the correct attitude towards all signs and superstitions. “Don’t believe it and it won’t come true,” said the saint Venerable Seraphim Sarovsky about bad omens. If a girl believes with all her soul that she and her goddaughter find common happiness during the Sacrament, then that’s exactly what will happen. You can say to yourself out of spite: “In this way I call on God’s blessing for my own happy marriage and motherhood.” And, believe me, this is exactly what will come true if you truly believe. So, is it possible for unmarried girls to baptize girls? It is possible and necessary if you approach your future title responsibly.
If you baptized a child together, you cannot marry
An unmarried girl? The girl is baptized by the godmother, the boy by the godfather. But at the same time, for a girl, both the father and the mother are often invited. Here arises important condition, which can become an obstacle to choosing a particular person for the role of godmother or godfather. It seems very cute when future couple seals his feelings by jointly baptizing the baby. This is what people who are ignorant of church canons often do. The fact is that the recipients, when performing the Sacrament, enter into a spiritual relationship. This is the obstacle. If the couple subsequently wishes to get married, they will be refused. It is forbidden to perform the Sacrament of Wedding on people who are in such a relationship, that is, who are the spiritual parents of the same baby.
Nowadays, such stories also happen: mom and dad get divorced, then dad wants to marry his godfather. Such marriages are also not blessed. Answer to the question: “Can unmarried girls have girls baptized?” next: it is possible if the girl is going to become a nun, has simply taken a vow of celibacy, and also if the godfather does not take part in the baptism or is not her likely groom.
What does it mean to be a godmother?
“You can’t baptize the first girl for an unmarried girl!” - states categorically folk sign. Answer: it doesn’t matter what gender the child is, whether he is the first or the tenth. It is important to take the upcoming Sacrament responsibly. The baby does not yet and cannot have his own faith; the baby is baptized according to the faith of his or her successor. The girl gives God her word that she will bring this baby to Him. The spiritual mother becomes the guardian of faith and piety for the goddaughter. On Last Judgment godparents will answer for the sins of their godchildren, for the fact that they spent their lives outside the Church, outside Christ's faith. That is, if the girl herself does not really believe or knows that the parents of the future goddaughter will not raise her in the Orthodox faith, it is better to refuse the offered role. You can baptize the daughter of unbelieving parents, provided that the godmother has the opportunity to take an active part in her upbringing, for example, a governess or a very close relative. A clear example: a believing girl baptizes a baby from the orphanage where she works, firmly knowing that raising her goddaughter will fall on her shoulders at least for the next few years. But in no case should children be baptized by people who are atheists, people of other faiths (Muslims, Buddhists, etc.) or unchurched (those who do not attend church services more often than once every few months and do not receive communion at least once a year ).
How to prepare
About how to properly prepare for a future godmother, it is best to ask the priest who will perform this Sacrament. In most churches, special conversations are held on how to prepare yourself and prepare a child for parents and future adoptees. If there is no such opportunity in the church where the Baptism will take place, and the priest for some reason could not devote time to the future godparents, then you can purchase the appropriate literature. In any case, it is advisable for the godmother to receive communion on the day of the Sacrament or the day before, having made the necessary preparations beforehand. It’s good if you manage to find time to read the Gospel during the week before baptism. Be sure to throughout the week before and during the Sacrament itself, you must pray with all your heart to God and the Mother of God for blessings for yourself and your goddaughter, and ask for help in fulfilling your obligations. Is it possible for unmarried girls to have girls baptized? Any girl or woman who seriously, responsibly, and reverently approaches her role in the Sacrament and all can baptize a girl. future life child.
12.07.2016
The rite of baptism in Rus' has always been one of the most exciting and mysterious, so it is not surprising that our ancestors at one time associated this solemn event with various kinds of beliefs. One of these superstitions that has survived to this day is the assertion that the first girl cannot be baptized by an unmarried girl.
The first version of the appearance of this belief sounds quite realistic and reasonable. The fact is that the godmother is the spiritual mentor of the child, who must explain to the child a lot about the spiritual component of our life. It is believed that a very young unmarried person does not have enough life experience to provide the child with proper protection.
But we must also take into account the fact that in our time some young girls are already independent mature individuals capable of taking care of others and, especially, their godchildren. And some representatives of the fair sex, having a wealth of experience family life behind them, they are children even for their own households.
The conclusion is obvious: nowadays everything depends on the person. We must also take into account the fact that previously in Rus' girls did not have so many options for personal development outside of marriage, so it is likely that the role of godmother was suitable only for those who had already gotten married.
Second version of appearance this superstition is no longer so real and does not have any evidence. However, our ancestors were sure that if a young unmarried girl took on the role of godmother of a little girl, then in the future she would face misfortunes in her personal life, and she would never be able to give birth.
Many people are still confident in the validity of this statement, and, frankly, it is useless to argue with them. Among them are even those who are able to give examples from their own life experience. True, these “cases from life”, as a rule, turn out to be just an invention of the narrator.
Church workers, answering the question of whether it is possible for an unmarried girl to baptize a little girl, are of the opinion that such a decision should be made based on one’s own readiness to accept such responsibility.
The only condition that the church obliges to comply with is that the godfather and godmother must never tie their lives by marriage in the future. The fact is that after christening these people already become relatives. However, this rule concerns mainly the wedding ceremony and, to some extent, also relates to the area of superstition.
There are many signs and superstitions associated with the institution of godparents. When becoming godparents, you need to take care of the child, try to take part in his upbringing if possible, and no godparents can ever do without gifts. Why is there a sign that a girl cannot be baptized first? For men, such superstitions have no strength or power, but more emotional women tend to take signs on faith and follow them folk wisdom. Here ancient signs and superstitions are intertwined: not only is it impossible to baptize a girl first, but also whether nursing mothers can drink milk, why they can’t sit on the table, why they can’t give certain things as gifts. The roots of these superstitions go back to ancient times, but you can try to figure out what’s terrible about the ban on baptizing a girl first.
According to some beliefs, you cannot baptize if the future godmother is not married and has not yet given birth. It was believed that the goddaughter would take away her godmother’s future happiness and she would not marry. There is also a belief that a girl can take over the fate of her godmother in the future. Therefore, those who are happily married should be chosen for this honorable role.
The next superstition says that if the first godson is a boy, then such a girl’s own destiny in the future will be happy. Such friends who refuse to be godparents can seriously offend young parents, who may believe in omens, but the child’s happiness is more important to them.
An interesting belief from England can be read on the Internet. It turns out that in Northern and Western England this problem arose for a completely different reason. According to medieval English superstition, a girl cannot be baptized first because the witches flying around will give her the ability to take all the hair from the second baby - a boy, and he will be without a mustache and beard for the rest of his life, which in those days was considered a sign of Satan's henchman.
Parents decide whether to believe in such signs or not. It is extremely shameful to refuse such an honorable mission as becoming a child’s godmother. After all, baptism is a sacred rite, and bad omens and superstitions are invented to justify own mistakes and failures. The Orthodox Church has never confirmed such superstitions, and not a single church minister will refuse to baptize a girl first, because it is the church that stands in the way of such signs. Therefore, you should not give up such an honorable right as becoming a godmother for fear of losing something in life. Baptism imparts such positive energy that nothing bad can happen.
Do you believe in omens????
What is Baptism? Why is it called a Sacrament? You will find comprehensive answers to all these questions in this article prepared by the editors of Pravmir.
The Sacrament of Baptism: answers to readers' questions
Today I would like to tell the reader about the sacrament of Baptism and about godparents.
For ease of understanding, I will present the article to the reader in the form of questions most often asked by people about Baptism and the answers to them. So first question:
What is Baptism? Why is it called a Sacrament?
Baptism is one of the seven sacraments of the Orthodox Church, in which the believer, by immersing the body three times in water with the invocation of the name of the Holy Trinity - the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, dies to a life of sin, and is reborn by the Holy Spirit to Eternal Life. Of course, this action has a basis in Holy Scripture: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God” (John 3:5). Christ says in the Gospel: “Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved; and whoever does not believe will be condemned” (Mark 16:16).
So, baptism is necessary for a person to be saved. Baptism is a new birth for spiritual life in which a person can achieve the Kingdom of Heaven. And it is called a sacrament because through it, in a mysterious, incomprehensible way for us, the invisible saving power of God - grace - acts on the person being baptized. Like other sacraments, baptism is divinely ordained. The Lord Jesus Christ Himself, sending the apostles to preach the Gospel, taught them to baptize people: “Go and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19). Having been baptized, a person becomes a member of the Church of Christ and can now begin the rest of the church sacraments.
Now that the reader has become familiar with the Orthodox concept of baptism, it is appropriate to consider one of the most frequently asked questions regarding the baptism of children. So:
Infant baptism: is it possible to baptize infants, because they do not have independent faith?
It’s absolutely true that young children do not have independent, conscious faith. But don’t the parents who brought their child for baptism in the temple of God have it? Won't they instill in their child faith in God from childhood? It is obvious that parents have such a belief, and, most likely, will instill it in their child. In addition, the child will also have godparents - recipients from the baptismal font, who vouch for him and undertake to raise their godchild in the Orthodox faith. Thus, infants are baptized not according to their own faith, but according to the faith of their parents and godparents who brought the child to baptism.
The prototype of New Testament baptism was Old Testament circumcision. IN Old Testament On the eighth day, babies were brought to the temple for circumcision. By this, the child’s parents showed their and his faith and belonging to God’s chosen people. Christians can say the same about baptism in the words of John Chrysostom: “Baptism constitutes the most obvious difference and separation of the faithful from the unfaithful.” Moreover, there is a basis for this in the Holy Scriptures: “Circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the sinful body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ; being buried with Him in baptism” (Col. 2:11-12). That is, baptism is dying and burial to sin and resurrection to perfect life with Christ.
These justifications are quite sufficient for the reader to realize the importance of infant baptism. After this, a completely logical question would be:
When should children be baptized?
There are no specific rules in this matter. But usually children are baptized on the 40th day after birth, although this can be done earlier or later. The main thing is not to postpone baptism until for a long time without emergency. It would be wrong to deprive a child of such a great sacrament for the sake of prevailing circumstances.
An inquisitive reader may have questions regarding the days of baptism. For example, on the eve of multi-day fasts, the question most often heard is:
Is it possible to baptize children during fasting days?
Of course you can! But technically it doesn’t always work out. In some churches, during the days of Great Lent, baptisms are performed only on Saturdays and Sundays. This practice is most likely based on the fact that weekday Lenten services are very long, and the intervals between morning and evening services can be short. On Saturdays and Sundays, services are somewhat shorter in time, and the priests can devote more time to the needs. Therefore, when planning the day of baptism, it is better to find out in advance about the rules observed in the church where the child will be baptized. Well, if we talk at all about the days on which you can be baptized, then there are no restrictions in this matter. Children can be baptized on any day when there are no technical obstacles to this.
I have already mentioned that, if possible, every person should have godparents - recipients from the baptismal font. Moreover, children who are baptized according to the faith of their parents and successors should have them. The question arises:
How many godparents should a child have?
Church rules require that the child have a recipient of the same gender as the person being baptized. That is, for a boy it is a man, and for a girl it is a woman. In tradition, both godparents are usually chosen for the child: father and mother. This does not contradict the canons in any way. It will also not be a contradiction if, if necessary, the child has a recipient of a different gender than the person being baptized. The main thing is that this is a truly religious person who would subsequently conscientiously fulfill his duties in raising the child in the Orthodox faith. Thus, the person being baptized can have one or, at most, two recipients.
Having dealt with the number of godparents, the reader will most likely want to know:
What are the requirements for godparents?
The first and main requirement is the undoubted Orthodox faith of the recipients. Godparents must be churchgoers, living a church life. After all, they will have to teach their godson or goddaughter the basics Orthodox faith, give spiritual instructions. If they themselves are ignorant in these matters, then what can they teach the child? Godparents are entrusted with the enormous responsibility of spiritual education of their godchildren, for they, together with their parents, are responsible for it before God. This responsibility begins with renouncing “Satan and all his works, and all his angels, and all his service, and all his pride.” Thus, the godparents, being responsible for their godson, make a promise that their godchild will be a Christian.
If the godson is already an adult and himself utters the words of renunciation, then the godparents present at the same time become guarantors before the Church of the fidelity of his words. Godparents are obliged to teach their godchildren to resort to the saving Sacraments of the Church, mainly confession and communion, they must give them knowledge about the meaning of worship, the peculiarities church calendar, about the power of grace miraculous icons and other shrines. Godparents must teach those received from the font to attend church services, fast, pray and observe other provisions of the church charter. But the main thing is that godparents should always pray for their godson. Obviously, strangers cannot be godparents, for example, some compassionate grandmother from the church, whom the parents persuaded to “hold” the baby at baptism.
But you should also not take simply close people or relatives as godparents who do not meet the spiritual requirements that were set out above.
Godparents should not become an object of personal gain for the parents of the person being baptized. The desire to become related to an advantageous person, for example, a boss, often guides parents when choosing godparents for a child. At the same time, forgetting about the true purpose of baptism, parents can deprive the child of a real godfather, and impose on him one who subsequently will not care at all about the spiritual education of the child, for which he himself will also answer before God. Unrepentant sinners and people leading an immoral lifestyle cannot become godparents.
Some details of baptism include the following question:
Is it possible for a woman to become a godmother during her monthly cleansing? What to do if this does happen?
On such days, women should refrain from participating church sacraments, which includes baptism. But if this did happen, then it is necessary to repent of this in confession.
Perhaps someone reading this article will become a godfather in the near future. Realizing the importance of the decision being made, they will be interested in:
How can future godparents prepare for baptism?
Some special rules There is no preparation of recipients for baptism. At some churches, special conversations are held, the purpose of which is usually to explain to a person all the provisions of the Orthodox faith regarding baptism and succession. If it is possible to attend such conversations, then it is necessary to do so, because... this is very useful for future godparents. If future godparents are sufficiently churched, constantly confess and receive communion, then attending such conversations will be quite a sufficient measure of preparation for them.
If potential recipients themselves are not yet sufficiently churched, then good preparation for them will be not only the acquisition of the necessary knowledge about church life, but also the study of the Holy Scriptures, the basic rules of Christian piety, as well as three days of fasting, confession and communion before the sacrament of baptism. There are several other traditions regarding recipients. Usually the godfather takes upon himself the cost (if any) of the baptism itself and the purchase pectoral cross for his godson. Godmother buys a baptismal cross for the girl, and also brings things necessary for baptism. Typically, a baptismal set includes a baptismal shirt, a sheet and a towel.
But these traditions are not mandatory. Often in different regions and even individual churches have their own traditions, the implementation of which is strictly monitored by parishioners and even priests, although they do not have any dogmatic or canonical basis. Therefore, it is better to learn more about them in the temple in which the baptism will take place.
Sometimes you hear a purely technical question related to baptism:
What should godparents give for baptism (to the godson, to the godson's parents, to the priest)?
This question does not lie in the spiritual realm, regulated by canonical rules and traditions. But I think that the gift should be useful and remind of the day of baptism. Useful gifts on the day of baptism could be icons, the Gospel, spiritual literature, prayer books, etc. In general, in church shops you can now find a lot of interesting and spiritually useful things, so purchasing a worthy gift should not be a big difficulty.
A fairly common question asked by unchurched parents is:
Can non-Orthodox Christians or non-Orthodox Christians become godparents?
It is quite obvious that no, because they will not be able to teach their godson the truths of the Orthodox faith. Not being members of the Orthodox Church, they cannot take part in church sacraments at all.
Unfortunately, many parents do not ask about this in advance and, without any remorse, invite non-Orthodox and non-Orthodox people to be godparents to their children. At baptism, of course, no one talks about this. But then, having learned about the inadmissibility of what they had done, the parents came running to the temple, asking:
What to do if this happens by mistake? Is baptism considered valid in this case? Is it necessary to baptize a child?
First of all, such situations show the extreme irresponsibility of parents when choosing godparents for their child. Nevertheless, such cases are not uncommon, and they occur among unchurched people who do not live a church life. A clear answer to the question “what to do in this case?” It is impossible to give, because There is nothing like this in the church canons. This is not surprising, because canons and rules were written for members of the Orthodox Church, which cannot be said about heterodox and non-Orthodox people. Nevertheless, as an accomplished fact, baptism took place, and it cannot be called invalid. It is legal and valid, and the baptized person has become a full-fledged Orthodox Christian, because was baptized by an Orthodox priest in the name of the Holy Trinity. No rebaptism is required; there is no such concept at all in the Orthodox Church. A person is born physically once, he cannot repeat this again. Also - only once a person can be born for spiritual life, therefore there can be only one baptism.
Let me make a small digression and tell the reader how I once had to witness a not very pleasant scene. A young married couple brought their newborn son to be baptized in the temple. The couple worked in a foreign company and invited one of their colleagues, a foreigner, Lutheran by religion, to become godfather. True, the godmother was supposed to be a girl of the Orthodox faith. Neither the parents nor the future godparents were distinguished by special knowledge in the field of Orthodox doctrine. The parents of the child received the news of the impossibility of having a Lutheran as their son’s godparents with hostility. They were asked to find another godfather or baptize the child with one godmother. But this proposal angered father and mother even more. The persistent desire to see this particular person as a receiver prevailed over common sense The parents and the priest had to refuse to baptize the child. Thus, the illiteracy of the parents became an obstacle to the baptism of their child.
Thank God that such situations have never occurred in my priestly practice. An inquisitive reader may well assume that there may be some obstacles to accepting the sacrament of baptism. And he will be absolutely right. So:
In what case can a priest refuse to baptize a person?
Orthodox believe in the Trinity of God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Founder Christian faith there was a Son - the Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, a person who does not accept the Divinity of Christ and does not believe in the Holy Trinity cannot be an Orthodox Christian. Also, a person who denies the truths of the Orthodox faith cannot become an Orthodox Christian. The priest has the right to refuse baptism to a person if he is going to accept the sacrament as some kind of magical rite or has some kind of pagan belief regarding baptism itself. But this is a separate issue and I will touch on it later.
A very common question about receivers is:
Can spouses or those about to get married become godparents?
Yes they can. Contrary to popular belief, there is no canonical prohibition for spouses or those about to get married to be godparents to one child. There is only a canonical rule that prohibits the godfather from marrying the child’s natural mother. The spiritual relationship established between them through the sacrament of baptism is higher than any other union, even marriage. But this rule does not in any way affect the possibility of godparents marrying or the possibility of spouses becoming godparents.
Sometimes unchurched parents of children, wanting to choose godparents for their children, ask the following question:
Can people living in a civil marriage become recipients?
At first glance, this is enough complex issue, but from the church point of view it is resolved unambiguously. Such a family cannot be called complete. And in general, prodigal cohabitation cannot be called a family. After all, in fact, people living in a so-called civil marriage live in fornication. This is a big problem modern society. People who have been baptized in the Orthodox Church, at a minimum, who recognize themselves as Christians, for some unknown reason, refuse to legitimize their union not only before God (which is undoubtedly more important), but also before the state. There are countless excuses to hear. But, unfortunately, these people simply do not want to understand that they are looking for any excuses for themselves.
For God, the desire to “get to know each other better” or “not wanting to stain your passport with unnecessary stamps” cannot be an excuse for fornication. In fact, people living in a “civil” marriage trample all Christian concepts about marriage and family. Christian marriage presupposes the responsibility of the spouses for each other. During the wedding, they become one whole, and not two different people who made a promise to henceforth live under the same roof. Marriage can be compared to two legs of one body. If one leg stumbles or breaks, won't the other one bear the entire weight of the body? And in a “civil” marriage, people don’t even want to take on the responsibility of putting a stamp in their passport.
What then can we say about such irresponsible people who still want to be godparents? What good things can they teach a child? Is it possible that, having very shaky moral foundations, they will be able to set a good example for their godson? No way. Also, according to church canons, people leading an immoral life (“civil” marriage should be regarded as such) cannot be recipients of the baptismal font. And if these people finally decide to legitimize their relationship before God and the state, then they, especially, will not be able to be godparents to one child. Despite the apparent complexity of the question, there can be only one answer to it - unequivocally: no.
The topic of gender relations is always very pressing in all areas of human life. It goes without saying that this results in various issues that are directly related to baptism. Here is one of them:
Can a young man (or girl) become a godfather for his bride (groom)?
In this case, they will have to terminate their relationship and limit themselves to only a spiritual connection, because... in the sacrament of baptism, one of them will become the godparent of the other. Can a son marry his own mother? Or should the daughter marry her own father? Quite obviously not. Of course, church canons cannot allow this to happen.
Much more often than others there are questions about the possible adoption of close relatives. So:
Can relatives become godparents?
Grandfathers, grandmothers, uncles and aunts may well become godparents to their little relatives. There is no contradiction to this in church canons.
Can an adoptive father (mother) become a godfather to an adopted child?
According to 53 rule VI Ecumenical Council, it is unacceptable.
Based on the fact that a spiritual relationship is established between godparents and parents, the inquisitive reader may ask the following question:
Can a child’s parents become godparents to the children of their godfathers (their children’s godparents)?
Yes, this is completely acceptable. Such an action does not in any way violate the spiritual relationship established between parents and recipients, but only strengthens it. One of the parents, for example, the mother of a child, can become godmother to the daughter of one of the godfathers. And the father may well be the godfather of the son of another godfather or godfather. Other options are possible, but, in any case, spouses cannot become adopters of one child.
Sometimes people ask this question:
Can a priest be a godfather (including the one who performs the sacrament of baptism)?
Yes maybe. In general, this question is very pressing. From time to time I hear requests to become a godfather from complete strangers. Parents bring their child to baptism. For some reason it was not found godfather for a child. They start asking to become godfather to the child, motivating this request by the fact that they heard from someone that in the absence of a godfather, the priest should fulfill this role. We have to refuse and baptize with one godmother. A priest is a person like everyone else, and he may well refuse strangers to be godfather to their child. After all, he will have to bear responsibility for raising his godchild. But how can he do this if he sees this child for the first time and is completely unfamiliar with his parents? And, most likely, he will never see it again. Obviously this is impossible. But a priest (even if he himself will perform the sacrament of baptism) or, for example, a deacon (and the one who will serve with the priest at the sacrament of baptism) may well become recipients of the children of their friends, acquaintances or parishioners. There are no canonical obstacles to this.
Continuing the theme of adoption, one cannot help but recall such a phenomenon as the desire of parents, for some, sometimes completely incomprehensible, reasons, to “adopt a godfather in absentia.”
Is it possible to take a godfather “in absentia”?
The very meaning of succession involves the godfather accepting his godson from the font itself. By his presence, the godfather agrees to be the recipient of the baptized person and undertakes to raise him in the Orthodox faith. There is no way to do this in absentia. In the end, the person who is being tried to be “registered in absentia” as a godparent may not at all agree to this action and, as a result, the person being baptized may be left without a godparent at all.
Sometimes you hear questions from parishioners about the following:
How many times can a person become a godfather?
In the Orthodox Church there is no clear canonical definition regarding how many times a person can become a godfather during his life. The main thing that a person agreeing to become a successor must remember is that this is a great responsibility for which he will have to answer before God. The measure of this responsibility determines how many times a person can take on succession. This measure is different for each person and, sooner or later, a person may have to abandon the new adoption.
Is it possible to refuse to become a godfather? Wouldn't that be a sin?
If a person feels internally unprepared or has fundamental fears that he will not be able to conscientiously fulfill his duties godparent, then he may well refuse to allow the child’s parents (or the person being baptized, if he is an adult) to become their child’s godfather. There is no sin in this. This will be more honest towards the child, his parents and himself than, having taken responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of the child, not fulfilling his immediate responsibilities.
Continuing this topic, I will give a few more questions that people usually ask regarding the number of possible godchildren.
Is it possible to become godfather to the second child in the family if the first one has already been one?
Yes, you can. There are no canonical obstacles to this.
Is it possible for one person to be the recipient of several people (for example, twins) during baptism?
There are no canonical prohibitions against this. But technically this can be quite difficult if infants are baptized. The receiver will have to hold and receive both babies from the bath at the same time. It would be better if each godson had his own godparents. After all, each of those baptized individually is different people who have the right to their godfather.
Many people will probably be interested in this question:
At what age can you become a foster child?
Minor children cannot become godparents. But, even if a person has not yet reached adulthood, then his age should be such that he can realize the full weight of the responsibility he has assumed and will conscientiously fulfill his duties as a godfather. It seems that this may be an age close to adulthood.
The relationship between the child's parents and godparents also plays an important role in raising children. It is good when parents and godparents have spiritual unity and direct all their efforts towards the proper spiritual education of their child. But human relationships are not always cloudless, and sometimes you hear the following question:
What should you do if you quarreled with your godson’s parents and for this reason you can’t see him?
The answer suggests itself: make peace with the godson’s parents. For what can people who have a spiritual relationship and at the same time be at enmity with each other teach a child? It is worth thinking not about personal ambitions, but about raising a child and, having patience and humility, try to improve relations with the godson’s parents. The same can be advised to the child’s parents.
But a quarrel is not always the reason why a godfather cannot see his godson for a long time.
What to do if, due to objective reasons, you have not seen your godson for years?
I think that the objective reasons are the physical separation of the godfather from the godson. This is possible if the parents and the child moved to another city or country. In this case, all that remains is to pray for the godson and, if possible, communicate with him using all available means of communication.
Unfortunately, some godparents, having baptized the baby, completely forget about their immediate responsibilities. Sometimes the reason for this is not only the recipient’s elementary ignorance of his responsibilities, but his falling into grave sins, making their own spiritual life very difficult. Then the child’s parents involuntarily have a completely legitimate question:
Is it possible to abandon godparents who do not fulfill their duties, who have fallen into serious sins or who lead an immoral lifestyle?
The rite of renunciation of godparents Orthodox Church does not know. But parents can find an adult who, without being the actual recipient of the font, would help in the spiritual education of the child. At the same time, he cannot be considered a godfather.
But having such an assistant is better than depriving a child of communication with a spiritual mentor and friend. After all, a moment may come when a child begins to look for spiritual authority not only in the family, but also outside it. And at this moment such an assistant would be very useful. And as the child grows up, you can teach him to pray for his godfather. After all, the spiritual connection of a child with the person who received him from the font will not be severed if he takes responsibility for a person who himself could not cope with this responsibility. It happens that children surpass their parents and mentors in prayer and piety.
Praying for someone who is sinning or lost will be a manifestation of love for that person. It is not without reason that the Apostle James says in his letter to Christians: “Pray for one another so that you may be healed; the fervent prayer of the righteous can accomplish much” (James 5:16). But all these actions must be coordinated with your confessor and receive a blessing for them.
And here's another one interest Ask periodically asked by people:
When is there no need for godparents?
There is always a need for godparents. Especially for children. But not every adult baptized can boast of a good knowledge of the Holy Scriptures and church canons. If necessary, an adult can be baptized without godparents, because he has conscious faith in God and is quite capable of independently pronouncing the words of renunciation of Satan, uniting with Christ and reading the Creed. He is fully aware of his actions. The same cannot be said for babies and small children. Their godparents do all this for them. But, in case of extreme need, you can baptize a child without godparents. Such a need can undoubtedly become complete absence worthy godparents.
Godless times have left their mark on the destinies of many people. The result of this was that some people, after many years of unbelief, finally gained faith in God, but when they came to the temple, they did not know whether they had been baptized in childhood by believing relatives. A logical question arises:
Is it necessary to baptize a person who does not know for sure whether he was baptized as a child?
According to Rule 84 of the VI Ecumenical Council, such people must be baptized if there are no witnesses who could confirm or refute the fact of their baptism. In this case, a person is baptized, pronouncing the formula: “If he is not baptized, the servant of God is baptized...”.
I'm all about children and children. Among the readers, perhaps, there are people who have not yet received the saving sacrament of baptism, but who strive for it with all their souls. So:
What does a person who is preparing to become an Orthodox Christian need to know? How should he prepare for the sacrament of baptism?
A person’s knowledge of faith begins with reading the Holy Scriptures. Therefore, a person who wants to be baptized, first of all, needs to read the Gospel. After reading the Gospel, a person may have a number of questions that require a competent answer. Such answers can be obtained at so-called public conversations, which are held in many churches. At such conversations, the basics of the Orthodox faith are explained to those wishing to be baptized. If the church in which a person is going to be baptized does not have such conversations, then you can ask all your questions to the priest in the church. It will also be useful to read some books that explain Christian dogmas, for example, The Law of God. It will be good if, before receiving the sacrament of baptism, a person memorizes the Creed, in which briefly outlines the Orthodox doctrine of God and the Church. This prayer will be read at baptism, and it would be wonderful if the person being baptized himself confessed his faith. Direct preparation begins a few days before baptism. These days are special, so you should not divert attention to other, even very important, problems. It is worth devoting this time to spiritual and moral reflection, avoiding fuss, empty talk, participation in various entertainments. We must remember that baptism, like other sacraments, is great and holy. It must be approached with the greatest awe and reverence. It is advisable to fast for 2-3 days; married people should abstain from marital relations the night before. You need to show up for baptism extremely clean and tidy. You can wear new smart clothes. Women should not wear cosmetics, as always, when visiting a temple.
There are many superstitions associated with the sacrament of baptism, which I would also like to touch upon in this article. One of the most common superstitions is:
Can a girl be the first to baptize a girl? They say that if you baptize a girl first, and not a boy, then the godmother will give her her happiness...
This statement is also a superstition that has no basis either in Holy Scripture or in church canons and traditions. And happiness, if it is deserved before God, will not escape a person.
Another strange thought that I have heard more than once:
Can a pregnant woman become a godmother? Would this somehow affect her own child or godson?
Of course you can. Such a misconception has nothing to do with church canons and traditions and is also superstition. Participation in church sacraments can only be for the benefit of the expectant mother. I also had to baptize pregnant women. The babies were born strong and healthy.
A lot of superstitions are associated with the so-called crossing. Moreover, the reasons for such an insane action are sometimes very bizarre and even funny. But most of these justifications are of pagan and occult origin. Here, for example, is one of the most common superstitions of occult origin:
Is it true that in order to remove the damage caused to a person, it is necessary to cross himself again, and keep the new name secret, so that new attempts at witchcraft do not work, because... do they cast spells specifically on the name?
To be honest, hearing such statements makes me want to laugh heartily. But, unfortunately, this is no laughing matter. What kind of pagan stupidity must one reach? Orthodox person to decide that baptism is a certain magic ritual, a kind of antidote to damage. An antidote to some vague substance, the definition of which no one even knows. What is this ghostly corruption? It is unlikely that any of those who are so afraid of her will be able to clearly answer this question. This is not surprising. Instead of looking for God in life and fulfilling His commandments, the “church” people with enviable zeal look for the mother of all evils in everything - corruption. And where does it come from?
I'll allow myself a little lyrical digression. A man is walking down the street and stumbles. Everything is jinxed! We urgently need to run to the temple to light a candle so that everything is fine and the evil eye passes. While walking to the temple, he stumbled again. Apparently, they not only jinxed it, but also caused damage! Wow, infidels! Well, it’s okay, now I’ll come to the temple, pray, buy candles, stick all the candlesticks, and fight the damage with all my might. The man ran to the temple, stumbled again on the porch and fell. That's it - lie down and die! Damage to death, a family curse, and there’s also some nasty stuff there, I forgot the name, but it’s also something very scary. Three-in-one cocktail! Candles and prayer will not help against this, this is a serious matter, an ancient voodoo spell! There is only one way out - to be baptized again, and only with a new name, so that when these same voodoo whispers in the old name and stick needles into the dolls, all their spells fly by. They won't know the new name. And all witchcraft is done in the name, didn’t you know? What fun it will be when they whisper and conjure intensely, and everything flies by! Bam, bam and - past! Oh, it’s good when there is baptism - a cure for all diseases!
This is approximately how superstitions associated with rebaptism appear. But much more often the sources of these superstitions are figures in the occult sciences, i.e. fortune tellers, psychics, healers and other “God-gifted” individuals. These tireless “generators” of newfangled occult terminology go to all sorts of tricks to seduce people. They also come into play generational curses, and crowns of celibacy, and karmic knots destinies, translations, love spells with lapels and other occult nonsense. And all you need to do to get rid of all this is to cross yourself. And the damage was gone. And laughter and sin! But many fall for these parachurch tricks of “Mothers Glafir” and “Fathers Tikhon”, and run to the temple for re-baptism. It would be good if they told them where they had such an ardent desire to cross themselves, and they would be denied this blasphemy, having previously explained what the consequences of going to the occultists would be. And some do not even say that they have already been baptized and are being baptized again. There are also those who are baptized several times, because... previous baptisms “didn’t help.” And they won't help! It is difficult to imagine a greater blasphemy against the sacrament. After all, the Lord knows the heart of a person, knows about all his thoughts.
It’s worth saying a few words about the name, which “good people” advise changing. A person is given a name on the eighth day from birth, but since many do not know about this, basically the prayer for naming a name is read by the priest immediately before baptism. Surely everyone knows that a person is given a name in honor of one of the saints. And it is this saint who is our patron and intercessor for us before God. And, of course, I think that every Christian should call on his saint as often as possible and ask for his prayers before the throne of the Almighty. But what actually happens? Not only does a person neglect his name, but he also neglects his saint, after whom he is named. And instead of calling on your friend for help in times of trouble or danger heavenly patron- his saint, visits fortune tellers and psychics. An appropriate “reward” will follow for this.
There is another superstition related directly to the sacrament of baptism itself. Almost immediately after baptism, the ceremony of cutting hair follows. In this case, the receiver is given a piece of wax in which to roll the cut hair. The receiver must throw this wax into the water. This is where the fun begins. I don't know where the question comes from:
Is it true that if at baptism the wax with cut hair sinks, then the life of the person being baptized will be short?
No, it's superstition. According to the laws of physics, wax cannot sink in water at all. But if you throw it from a height with sufficient force, then at the first moment it will actually go under water. It is good if the superstitious receiver does not see this moment and “fortune telling with baptismal wax” will give a positive result. But, as soon as the godfather notices the moment the wax is immersed in water, lamentations immediately begin, and the newly-made Christian is almost buried alive. After this, it is sometimes difficult to bring the child’s parents out of their state of terrible depression, who are told about the “sign of God” seen at baptism. Of course, this superstition has no basis in church canons and traditions.
To summarize, I would like to note that baptism is a great sacrament, and the approach to it should be reverent and thoughtful. It is sad to see people who have received the sacrament of baptism and continue to live their former sinful life. Having been baptized, a person must remember that now he is Orthodox Christian, soldier of Christ, member of the Church. This requires a lot. First of all, to love. Love for God and neighbors. So let each of us, regardless of when he was baptized, fulfill these commandments. Then we can hope that the Lord will lead us into the Kingdom of Heaven. That Kingdom, the path to which the sacrament of Baptism opens for us.