Inner harmony, calm and order, general peace of mind– these are the desired states of every person. Our life basically goes on a swing - from negative emotions to a state of joy, euphoria, and back.

How to find and maintain a point of balance so that the world is perceived positively and calmly, nothing irritates or frightens, and the present moment brings inspiration and joy? And is it possible to find lasting peace of mind? Yes, it's possible! Moreover, with peace comes true freedom and simple happiness to live.

These are simple rules, and they work religiously. You just need to stop thinking about HOW to change and start APPLYING them.

1. Stop asking, “Why did this happen to me?” Ask yourself another question: “What great happened? What good can this do for me? There is goodness for sure, you just need to see it. Any problem can turn into a real gift from above if you consider it as an opportunity, and not as punishment or injustice.

2. Cultivate gratitude. Every evening, take stock of what you can say “thank you” for during the day. If lost peace of mind– remember the good things you have and what you can be grateful for in life.

3. Exercise your body. Remember that the brain most actively produces “happiness hormones” (endorphins and enkephalins) precisely during physical training. Therefore, if you are overcome by problems, anxiety, insomnia, go outside and walk for several hours. A quick step or run will distract you from sad thoughts, saturate your brain with oxygen and raise the level of positive hormones.

4. Develop a “cheerful posture” and think of a happy pose for yourself. The body has a wonderful way of helping when you need to restore peace of mind. It will “remember” the feeling of joy if you simply straighten your back, straighten your shoulders, stretch happily and smile. Consciously hold yourself in this position for a while, and you will see that the thoughts in your head become calmer, more confident and happier.

5. Return yourself to the “here and now” state. A simple exercise can help you get rid of anxiety: look around, focus on what you see. Start mentally “sounding out” the picture by inserting as many words as “now” and “here” as possible. For example: “I’m walking down the street now, the sun is shining here. Now I see a man, he is carrying yellow flowers…" etc. Life consists only of “now” moments, don’t forget about it.

6. Don't exaggerate your problems. After all, even if you bring a fly close to your eyes, it will take on the size of an elephant! If some experience seems insurmountable to you, think as if ten years have already passed... How many problems have you already had before - you have solved them all. Therefore, this trouble will pass, don’t dive into it headlong!

7. Laugh more. Try to find something funny about the current state of affairs. If it doesn’t work out, then just find a reason to laugh sincerely. Watch a funny movie, remember a funny incident. The power of laughter is simply amazing! Peace of mind often returns after a good dose of humor.

8. Forgive more. Resentments are like heavy, foul-smelling stones that you carry around with you everywhere. What peace of mind can one have with such a load? So don't hold a grudge. People are just people, they cannot be perfect and always bring only goodness. So forgive the offenders and forgive yourself.

10. Communicate more. Any pain hidden inside multiplies and brings new sad fruits. Therefore, share your experiences, discuss them with loved ones, and seek their support. Don't forget that man is not meant to be alone. Peace of mind can only be found in close relationships - friendships, love, family.

11. Pray and meditate. Don't let bad, angry thoughts control you and cause panic, pain and irritation. Change them to short prayers- turning to God or meditating is a state of non-thinking. Stop the uncontrollable flow of self-talk. This is the basis of a good and stable state of mind.

How to get rid of negative emotions, restore peace of mind and health? These helpful tips will help you!

Why are more and more people seeking to find peace of mind?

Nowadays, people live very unsettled lives, which is due to various negative realities of a political, economic and social nature. Added to this is a powerful flow of negative information that falls on people from television screens, from Internet news sites and newspaper pages.

Modern medicine is often unable to relieve stress. She is not able to cope with mental and physical disorders, various diseases that are caused by disturbances in mental balance due to negative emotions, anxiety, restlessness, fear, despair, etc.

Such emotions have a destructive effect on human body at the cellular level, deplete his vitality, leading to premature aging.

Insomnia and loss of strength, hypertension and diabetes, heart and stomach diseases, cancer - these are far from full list those serious illnesses, the main cause of which can be stressful conditions in the body that arise as a result of such harmful emotions.

Plato once said: “The greatest mistake of doctors is that they try to cure a man’s body without trying to cure his soul; however, the soul and body are one and cannot be treated separately!”

Centuries, even millennia, have passed, but this saying of the great philosopher of antiquity remains true today. In modern living conditions, the problem of psychological support for people, protecting their psyche from negative emotions has become extremely relevant.

1. Healthy sleep!

First of all, it is important to have healthy, sound sleep, because it has a powerful calming effect on a person. A person spends approximately a third of his life sleeping, i.e. in a state when the body restores its vitality.

A good night's sleep is exclusively important for good health. During sleep, the brain diagnoses all functional systems of the body and triggers their self-healing mechanisms. As a result, the nervous and immune systems are strengthened, metabolism, blood pressure, blood sugar, etc. are normalized.

During sleep, the healing processes of wounds and burns are accelerated. People who get adequate sleep are less likely to suffer from chronic diseases.

Sleep gives many other positive effects, and most importantly, in sleep the human body is renewed, which means the aging process slows down and even reverses.

For proper sleep, the day should be active, but not tiring, and dinner should be early and light. Afterwards, it is advisable to take a walk in the fresh air. The brain needs to be given a couple of hours of rest before going to bed. Avoid watching TV shows in the evening that overload the brain and excite the nervous system.

It is also undesirable to try to solve any problems at this time. serious problems. It is better to engage in light reading or calm conversation.

Before going to bed, ventilate your bedroom, and warm time leave the windows open for years. Try to purchase a good orthopedic mattress for sleeping. Nightwear should be light and well-fitted.

Your last thoughts before falling asleep should be gratitude for the past day and hope for a good future.

If you wake up in the morning and feel a surge of vigor and energy, it means your sleep was strong, healthy, refreshing and rejuvenating.

2. A break from it all!

We are accustomed to daily perform hygienic and health procedures related to caring for the physical health of our body. This is a shower or bath, brushing your teeth, morning exercises.

It is equally advisable to regularly perform certain psychological procedures that induce a calm, peaceful state that promotes mental health. Here is one such procedure.

Every day, in the midst of a busy day, you should put everything aside for ten to fifteen minutes and be in silence. Sit in a secluded place and think about something that will completely distract you from your daily worries and bring you into a state of serenity and peace.

These could be, for example, pictures of beautiful, majestic nature presented in the mind: the contours of mountain peaks, as if drawn against the blue sky, the silvery light of the moon reflected by the sea surface, a green forest clearing surrounded by slender trees, etc.

Another calming procedure is immersing the mind in silence.

Sit or lie down in a quiet, private place for ten to fifteen minutes and relax your muscles. Then focus your attention on a specific object in your field of vision. Watch him, peer into him. Soon you will want to close your eyes, your eyelids will become heavy and droop.

Start listening to your breathing. This way you will be distracted from extraneous sounds. Feel the pleasure of immersing yourself in silence and a state of serenity. Calmly watch how your mind becomes silent, individual thoughts float away somewhere.

The ability to turn off thoughts does not come immediately, but the benefits of this process are enormous, since as a result you achieve the highest degree of peace of mind, and a rested brain significantly increases its performance.

3. Daytime nap!

For health purposes and to relieve stress, it is recommended to include in the daily routine the so-called siesta, widely practiced mainly in Spanish-speaking countries. This is an afternoon nap, usually lasting no more than 30 minutes.

Such sleep restores the energy expenditure of the first half of the day, relieves fatigue, helps a person become calm and rested and return to active work with fresh strength.

Psychologically, siesta gives a person two days in one, and this creates mental comfort.

4. Positive thoughts!

First thoughts are born, and only then action. That’s why it’s so important to direct your thoughts in the right direction. In the morning, recharge yourself with positive energy, set yourself up positively for the coming day, saying mentally or out loud approximately the following statements:

“Today I will be calm and businesslike, friendly and welcoming. I will be able to successfully accomplish everything I set out to do, and I will cope with all unforeseen problems that arise. No one and nothing will bring me out of my state of mental balance.”

5. Calm state of mind!

It is also useful to periodically repeat throughout the day for the purpose of self-hypnosis keywords: “calmness”, “serenity”. They have a calming effect.

If, nevertheless, any disturbing thought appears in your mind, try to immediately displace it with an optimistic message to yourself, setting you up that everything will be fine.

Try to break through any dark cloud of fear, anxiety, worry hanging over your consciousness with bright rays of joy and completely dispel it with the power of positive thinking.

Call on your sense of humor to help too. It is important to set yourself up so as not to worry about trifles. Well, what to do if you are faced with not a trivial, but a really serious problem?

Typically, a person reacts to threats from the surrounding world, worries about the fate of his family, children and grandchildren, fears various adversities in life, such as war, illness, loss of loved ones, loss of love, failure in business, failure at work, unemployment, poverty, etc. P.

But if this happens, then you need to show self-control, prudence, and displace anxiety from your consciousness, which does not help in anything. It does not provide answers to the questions that arise in life, but only leads to confusion in thoughts, a useless waste of vitality and deterioration of health.

A calm state of mind allows you to objectively analyze emerging life situations, make optimal decisions and, thereby, resist adversity and overcome difficulties.

So in any situation, let your conscious choice always be calm.

All fears and anxieties relate to the future tense. They're pumping up stressful state. This means that in order to relieve stress, you need these thoughts to dissipate and disappear from your consciousness. Try to change your perception of the world so that you can live in the present time.

6. Own rhythm of life!

Concentrate your thoughts on the present moment, live “here and now”, be grateful for every well-lived day. Set yourself up to take life lightly, as if you have nothing to lose.

When you are busy with work, you are distracted from restless thoughts. But you should develop a natural, and therefore corresponding to your character, pace of work.

And your whole life should go at a natural pace. Try to get rid of haste and fuss. Do not overextend your strength, do not spend too much vital energy in order to quickly get things done and solve problems that arise. The work should be done easily and naturally, and for this it is important to use rational methods of organizing it.

7. Proper organization of working time!

If, for example, the work is of an office nature, then leave on the table only those papers that are related to the issue at hand. given time task. Determine the priority order of the tasks facing you and strictly follow this order when solving them.

Take on only one task at a time and try to thoroughly understand it. If you have received enough information to make a decision, then do not hesitate to make it. Psychologists have found that fatigue contributes to feelings of anxiety. Therefore, organize your work in such a way that you can start resting before fatigue sets in.

With a rational organization of work, you will be surprised at how easily you cope with your responsibilities and solve the assigned tasks.

It is known that if the work is creative, interesting, and exciting, then the brain practically does not get tired, and the body gets tired much less. Fatigue is caused mainly by emotional factors - monotony and monotony, haste, tension, anxiety. That’s why it’s so important that the work arouses interest and a sense of satisfaction. Serene and happy are those who are absorbed in what they love.

8. Self-confidence!

Develop self-confidence in own strength, in the ability to successfully cope with all matters and solve problems that arise in front of you. Well, if you don’t have time to do something, or some problem can’t be solved, then you shouldn’t worry and get upset unnecessarily.

Consider that you have done your best and accept the inevitable. It is known that a person quite easily puts up with things that are undesirable for him. life situations, if he understands that they are inevitable, and then forgets about them.

Memory is a wonderful ability of the human mind. It allows a person to accumulate knowledge that is so necessary for him in life. But not all information should be memorized. Learn the art of selectively remembering mainly the good things that happened to you in life, and forgetting the bad.

Record your successes in life and remember them often.

This will help you maintain an optimistic attitude that crowds out anxiety. If you are committed to developing a mindset that will bring you peace and happiness, then follow the philosophy of joy in life. According to the law of attraction, joyful thoughts attract joyful events in life.

Respond with all your heart to any joy, no matter how small. The more small joys in your life, the less anxiety, more health, and vitality.

After all, positive emotions are healing. Moreover, they heal not only the soul, but also the human body, since they displace what is toxic to the body. negative energy, maintain homeostasis¹.

Strive to achieve peace of mind and harmony in your home, creating a peaceful, friendly atmosphere in it, and communicate with your children more often. Play with them, observe their behavior and learn from them their direct perception of life.

At least for a short time Immerse yourself in such an amazing, beautiful, serene world of childhood, where there is a lot of light, joy and love. Pets can have a beneficial effect on the atmosphere.

Calm, quiet, melodic music and singing also helps to maintain peace of mind and relax after a busy day. In general, try to make your home a place of peace, tranquility and love.

Take a break from your problems and show more interest in those around you. In your communication, conversations with family, friends and acquaintances, let there be as few topics as possible negative character, but more positive, jokes and laughter.

Try to do good deeds that evoke a joyful, grateful response in someone’s soul. Then your soul will be calm and good. By doing good to others, you are also helping yourself. So fill your souls with kindness and love. Live calmly, in harmony with yourself and the world around you.

Oleg Goroshin

There is everything for a successful life here!

"X-Archive" is an unusual project. Here you will find many valuable techniques, rare knowledge and unique recipes for all occasions. "X-Archive" is known not only in Russia, but also in the West. This is a global repository of exclusive information, only a small part of which is publicly available. The most rare and valuable materials on a variety of issues are kept in a closed private collection. Details here >>>

Notes and feature articles for deeper understanding of the material

¹ Homeostasis - self-regulation, ability open system maintain the constancy of one’s internal state through coordinated reactions aimed at maintaining dynamic balance (Wikipedia).

WITH peace helps to achieve inner balance, which is so necessary in everyday life. Sometimes even minor problems can lead to the soul being “out of place.” But in order to remain a balanced person, it is necessary, at least occasionally, to direct soul order and calm down.

If you feel that you have begun to experience inexplicable anxiety, quarrel for no reason with family and friends, and often raise your voice to others, then

You're clearly not doing well. Which means you need to find free time, at least one day, in order to rest and get back to normal. Even in case of serious troubles, you can always find a way to step away from them for a while. After all, by ignoring the state of your inner world, you risk developing health problems, and will also alienate people who love you, but cannot understand this

unbalanced

condition.

Put aside all your chores and worries, take a day off

At work

Send your husband (wife) and

visiting relatives, turn off the phone, forget about all sources of information. Stay alone with yourself and spend this day in

your pleasure

So that nothing disturbs the absolute peace around you. Get some sleep, then take a bath with some relaxing, aromatic oil or foam. Next, listen to soothing music or, for example, recordings such as sounds of nature, sea, etc. You can treat yourself to something

delicious

These little joys

will make you almost new

personality

Able to enjoy life again.

After rest, you will gain strength and will be able to spend the evening with your loved one.

person

Visit some place with which you have pleasant memories. Pleasant company and surroundings will help your soul calm down.

If possible, go on vacation. For example, to the sea. Water will remove

And a change of environment and activity will provide an opportunity to achieve inner harmony. Perhaps you will look at those problems that once seemed insoluble with different eyes. Understand that peace of mind is necessary for a calm, measured life.

A successful person can be defined not only by his achievements, but also by his internal state of satisfaction. It often manifests itself in life in the form of high spirits and enthusiasm. When you look at such a person, you can immediately tell that he is in the right place. But not everyone succeeds in finding this place on the first try.

What does it mean to be in the right place?

To the question of what “your place in life” is, you can give several answers. For some, being in the right place means having a successful career or getting established in professionally. For another person, it is enough to find a hobby to his liking, which will allow him to fully realize his inner creative potential. Still others consider themselves in their place when they are surrounded by like-minded people.

Regardless of the individual meaning of this concept, finding your place means being in your comfort zone. In such an environment, a person feels confident, has no doubts and does not waste time searching for his destiny. Being in his place, a person experiences satisfaction, peace and tranquility. Even inevitable minor troubles, which are difficult to live without in life, are not able to bring such a person out of a state of mental balance.

Finding your place in life

Almost every person, with rare exceptions, builds his life by trial and error. It's not so often that you meet those who are already in at a young age realized his destiny, chose his professional path and the area of ​​application of his natural talents. To search for the optimal life path the shortest, it makes sense to engage in introspection.

A kind of inventory of your abilities and interests will help you find your own place in life. In order to get into your destiny and feel in your place, it is important that the business that a person chooses as the main one is in agreement with the person’s internal attitudes and preferences. If you choose a niche for yourself that you have no interest in, you may feel out of place for the rest of your days.

It is best if, in the process of searching for a profession, a person finds something for himself that arouses his sincere interest. To achieve professional success, you have to devote yourself to work completely, without reserve. It will be very difficult to maintain the necessary motivation if the business you are doing does not arouse your enthusiasm. In this sense, finding your place means finding something you will do with passion.

For those who are still searching for their place in life and thinking, we can recommend a very strong psychological move. It consists of consciously expanding the usual comfort zone. To do this, it may be enough to visit places where you have never been before, do something that you consider too difficult for yourself, meet new people, or even completely change your environment.

By going beyond the boundaries of the previous comfort zone of life, a person expands his capabilities and often comes across the most unexpected areas of application of his abilities. At first, going beyond the usual may cause self-doubt and temporary discomfort. But for many people this decision becomes effective way get to know yourself better and realize your full personal potential.

Peace V soul- what it is? This includes a harmonious view of the world, calmness and self-confidence, the ability to rejoice and forgive, and cope with difficult situations. Inner harmony is not very common in modern world, where everyone has a busy schedule of activities and responsibilities, so there is simply not enough time to stop and admire the sunset. Find it in soul peace is possible. Psychologists give some advice on this matter.

Peace

and harmony are impossible without joy and

in heart. Don't be afraid to give your time and share yours.

soul

with great energy, treat people positively. If you expect good deeds from others, see the best in people and treat them with all

You may find that there are a lot of wonderful people around you. By treating people positively and kindly, you will notice that they reciprocate your feelings. When

person

Everything is fine

in a relationship

with other people, this is a good basis for internal balance.

Treat problems not as troubles that have fallen on your head at the wrong time, but as tasks that need to be completed. Many rush to blame their colleagues, acquaintances and relatives for their problems, they are ready to reveal all the secrets of their life to a fellow passenger on the train, complaining about life all the way, but they do not ask themselves what the real reason is

difficulties

And it very often lies in the very

person

Try to understand if there is something in yourself that is stopping you? Sometimes, in order to find harmony, you need to

change. Don't blame yourself, but work on yourself.

Forgive others. Everyone makes mistakes. If there are people whom you cannot forgive, you cannot forget what they did to you -

soul

You will not achieve any peace. Justice is a category of law, and even there it is not always achieved, and a person judges “by mercy,” so goodbye. Moreover, forgiveness should be given not only to others, but also to yourself! This is very important, because many

They cannot forgive themselves for any mistake, blaming themselves for all failures.

Rejoice

Life is made up of this, and not at all from serious and big events. If there is an opportunity to do some small thing that will please your loved ones, do not miss the opportunity to do it. Such things at first glance seem insignificant, but they allow you to achieve a constant good mood, and from this to

soul

Great peace is one step away.

When planning something, tell yourself not “I have to do this,” but “I want to do this.” After all, most of the things you “should”

In fact, they are your planned and desired things that you really want to do. For example, without feeling the desire to go to the store for flour right now, you still thought of it in order to bake something tasty and please your family. That is, in reality you should not go shopping, but want to do it to achieve your goal.

Related article

The relationship between stress and depression

how to find peace of mind - how to become happy how to find peace of mind

You can often hear people complaining that they cannot find peace of mind. If we define it as the internal and external harmony of a person, then this can mean reconciliation with oneself and the surrounding reality. This is a state when you have no internal contradictions and have established calm, friendly relationships with those around you. Peace of mind is necessary so that all misfortunes and illnesses pass you by.

One of the biblical parables says that a man suffering because he had no shoes was comforted when he saw a man who had no feet. If you feel bad, then direct your energy not to suffering, but to helping other people. If it’s even harder for one of your loved ones or friends, offer your participation and help him with deeds. A grateful look will be enough to make you feel peace and happiness from the fact that someone feels better.

When you understand that your life and your happiness depend only on you, that only you know best what you need and stop making claims to others, then you will stop being irritated and deceived in your expectations. Never accumulate grievances within yourself, forgive people who hurt you. Communicate with those who are pleasant to you and your

peace of mind

will get stronger every day.

Learn to appreciate life and notice how beautiful it is. Enjoy every minute, every day you live. Understand that external environment depends on your internal state. Depending on the mood, the attitude towards the same phenomena changes. So, control yourself and don’t let anger and envy influence your attitude. Don't judge other people, let them judge themselves.

Do not treat troubles as a punishment and an obstacle, be grateful to fate for the fact that they help you forge your character and achieve your goal by overcoming them. In any trouble or failure, look for positive moments and find them. Don't take every little thing as confirmation that everything in the world is against you. Give up negativity and become free.

Live in the present, because the past has already passed and suffering over it is a waste of time. The future begins today, so be happy with what you have now. Fill your soul with warmth and light, love and appreciate those who are next to you today, so that later you don’t regret that you didn’t see and appreciate it.

Peace of mind allows you to bring your emotional condition in order. The person becomes more cheerful and happy. The quality and speed of work increase noticeably, and relationships with people around you improve. But how to find peace of mind?

Control your thoughts. Don't let negativity curb your feelings. If you subconsciously look for bad things in the things around you, they will soon consist entirely of shortcomings. Program your consciousness for a positive flow of emotions. Teach him to see good even where there seems to be nothing good. Learn to control your thoughts. This will allow you to concentrate on the things that really matter.

Live today. The main enemy of peace of mind is mistakes of the past and constant worries. You need to admit to yourself that worrying will not help change the situation. It’s better to take specific actions to ensure that such a mistake does not happen again. Find positive sides in this unfortunate experience, just stop tormenting yourself because of a stupid mistake.

Focus on your goal. When a person knows what he is striving for, his state of mind becomes very stable. Do not doubt that you will be able to achieve what you want. Just keep going despite all the obstacles. Constantly imagine that you have already received what you wanted. This will give you an additional boost of strength to fight negativity.

Sit in silence. A few minutes of this practice can relieve emotional and physical stress, fatigue and mental anxiety. At such moments, you can talk about life and make plans for the future. Regular reflection in silence allows you to quickly find peace of mind.

Fussiness modern life makes us increasingly think about how to find inner peace. After all, you really want to achieve balance and be at peace with yourself. Every person who dares to look at their life from the outside and change it is able to do this.

Love yourself. Learn to accept yourself for who you are. With all the shortcomings, weaknesses and other moments that frighten you. Value yourself, your personality and your body.

Do what you love. Don't waste your vitality in an activity that you don't like. Choose a profession that will bring you pleasure. If you are in a position that contradicts your inner world, do not be afraid to leave it and retrain in the field that has always attracted you.

Surround yourself with close and loving people. Without them, it is quite difficult to achieve internal balance. Of course, self-sufficiency plays an important role, but it is friends who will come to the rescue when trouble happens in life, and they will share all your victories.

Dedicate time to self-care. This applies not only to the outer shell, but also to the inner world. Stay alone with yourself in order to feel your condition, get rid of worries, and enjoy your achievements.

Set your priorities. Decide for yourself what is more important to you. This could be family, work, your personal interests or the interests of a group (family, work team). Once you understand what is occupying most of your thoughts, you can focus on it and work more in the right direction. Over time, this will help you find inner peace and harmony, because you will no longer be bothered by the fact that you, for example, devote little time to your son.

Make peace with external circumstances that you cannot influence. Acceptance of the terms and rules of the game is important aspect inner peace. Try to understand that life will not always be the way you dreamed. But this does not mean that you need to give up.

note

If anxiety and irritability have been your companions for a long time, and you are unable to get rid of them, try consulting a psychologist. Perhaps your problems lie in relationships with your parents, unresolved issues from childhood, and so on.

There are times when it seems that the whole world has turned against you, everything that is happening around you seems gray and dull, and the future is bleak. Looking at yourself from the outside, think: are you trying to fight the reality of life? Complaining about the lack of harmony and mental balance is completely useless. After all, it is within your power to find both.

Try to realize for yourself:

what is he doing

makes you unhappy and prevents you from finding peace of mind? At the moment, circumstances are exactly as they are. Of course, you have to take them into account, but there is always a chance to change everything for the better. Guided by this, you will learn to restore your mental health.

equilibrium

Remember, to establish peace and tranquility in the soul, there are always two possibilities: change the situation or your attitude towards it.

Crises are necessary and rational stages of human development. Don't be afraid of them, they are given to people as a chance for personal growth, in order to discard everything unnecessary, take a new form, rise to the next level, become ourselves. A small child needs to learn to crawl, stand up and walk in order to get a toy. Man is designed in such a way that his entire development, from birth to death, occurs due to difficulties in achieving what he wants.

Get rid of resentment towards others from your soul, get rid of anger, guilt, fear, disappointments and expectations - become free. Are you offended by someone's criticism? Realize that if the critic is right, then you have no reason to be offended by him, because he only told the truth. If his statements are unfounded, then all this has nothing to do with you. Realize that your anger does not change anything, but only makes the situation worse. There is nothing that you should be afraid of, because you have the power to change a difficult situation at any time. Suffering from remorse and feeling guilty is stupid. It is much smarter to learn from your mistakes. When you let go of expectations, you stop

be disappointed

And also to be offended and angry.

Learn to perceive yourself, others and life itself unconditionally - as everyone really is. Free yourself from habitual stereotypes, old patterns of behavior, ideas, masks, roles. Try to live in reality, to be completely in the present moment. Through this liberation will come equanimity associated with finding harmony and mental health.

finding peace of mind

We all have to deal with toxic people at some time or another. We are talking about people with manipulative tendencies, making subjective judgments and inattentive to the feelings of other people. Communicating with such members of society can be very uncomfortable, especially if you are forced to see each other every day.

But first, let's define who these toxic people are. Here are 9 signs of a toxic person.

1. They talk more than they listen.

Toxic people have narcissistic tendencies and are unable to focus on anything other than themselves. This is contrary to the Buddhist worldview, in which compassion and kindness towards others (and oneself) are of paramount importance.

2. They think they are never wrong.

Everything they say is right, and everything you say is wrong. Toxic people do not want to learn and react very harshly to criticism.

3. Drama follows them everywhere.

They always experience some kind of tragedy. But if you offer advice, they will simply say that it won't work.

4. They build all relationships for show.

All of them love affairs are ostentatious in nature, since they do everything only so that other people can see it. They don't know how to simply enjoy relationships.

5. Them personal experience- this is the standard with which they compare everything.

They evaluate all things based on their personal life experience. For example, if they hate yoga, then it is 100% a waste of time and there is no point in arguing with them.

6. They often lie.

To some extent, they benefit from their lies, so they lie without a twinge of conscience.

7. They lack tact when communicating with other people.

Some of the signs of toxic people are a lack of empathy and a feeling of superiority over others. They are proud of their honesty, so they never bother choosing words when they want to achieve something from others.

8. They try to control other people.

They want you to act in a certain way for their benefit.

9. They love to talk about others.

They love to mock others behind their backs in order to increase their own self-esteem.

“The deeper your awareness of the present moment, the calmer you will be towards manifestations of hostility. And the more you think about it, the more deeply you will understand how much this person must suffer inside to behave this way. This knowledge will allow you to treat these people with the necessary degree of empathy and compassion, which will enable you to remain as calm as possible when dealing with them.

After all, with enough compassion and insight, you can easily put out the fire of hostility... When people see that they are being treated well despite hostility, they themselves change their behavior for the better. By helping them get rid of the poison that sits inside them, you are thereby helping yourself, since in the end you will see another person who is disposed towards you in a positive way.”

Publisher: Knarik Petrosyan- February 18, 2019

Entrepreneur and marketer Dan Waldschmidt shares provocative and sometimes sobering ideas on how to improve your business on his blog. Here are 26 more such ideas. (In the original, the tips are selected according to the letters of the English alphabet.)

Achieve more. Get things done. Stop starting - start finishing.

Believe in more. Remember that you have the strength to conquer the world.

Communicate more. Stop thinking that everyone already understands you. Share with people what motivates you.

Admire more. Bring the world a sense of wonder and excitement. Be unexpected.

Impact more. Help others recognize the changes they want to make.

Give more. Live for the love of others. Give to others as much as you would like to receive.

Help more. Lend a helping hand even when you need both hands to do your own thing.

More innovation. Be a creator, a puppeteer and an artist. Design something beautiful.

Unite more. Help people, ideas and opportunities find each other. Connect them.

Get on your knees. Humility will take you further than arrogance and the tendency to blame others.

Learn more. Never be satisfied with what you (think) you know. Open your mind.

Achieve more in more. Take the resources you have and tailor them to your needs.

Cherish and grow. Attract good people into great relationships. Let people be your priority.

Be a pioneer. Leave your mark. Take risks and move into the unknown.

Make more boundaries. Learn to say “NO” to good opportunities that don’t offer you great prospects.

Repair more. Fix all the “people problems” in your life. Fix your financial problems and sort out your health.

Specialize more. Do one thing well - instead of doing a dozen things poorly.

Experiment more. Press all the buttons. Turn all the handles. Formulate your own conclusions.

Discover more. Stop paying attention to superficial problems - look into the soul.

Win more. Stop losing. Start doing things that bring quick wins.

Analyze more. Be honest about your intentions and motives.

Shout more. Speak out loud and loud about what matters most to you.

Turn around more. See what everyone else thinks is necessary for you and do the opposite.

Publisher: Knarik Petrosyan- February 18, 2019

When we feel unhappy, there is no need to despair. We need to gradually change our thinking and behavior so that these changes bring us closer to happiness.

At such moments, moving forward, continuing your path in life becomes difficult if there is no serious motive to do so. But such a motive is not difficult to find, it is you yourself.

When we don't care about our own satisfaction emotional needs When it seems to us that nothing depends on us, the world seems to turn upside down.

You can try to cheer yourself up, you can tell yourself “time heals everything, the dark streak will pass...”, but this doesn’t really help. We need to “take fate into our own hands.”

Yes, there are times when nothing makes us happy. But you can’t let bad moments turn into a bad life...

We'll explain how to do this.

Strategies for situations when nothing makes you happy

If nothing makes us happy, if we feel that for three months we will have to live in a terrible mood, with insomnia, with apathy, with loss of interest in everything, we should consult a doctor.

It is quite possible that we have depression, and we need to consult with a specialist who will make a diagnosis and tell us how to deal with the disease.

The diagnosis of depression may not be confirmed. In any case, the strategies we will discuss will be useful.

Be aware of your rhythm: everything happens slower now

We feel bad, we cannot and should not hide it. Why smile and pretend that everything is fine when we are sad and feeling apathetic?

Don't try to fake feelings you don't feel.

• You have the right to be sad and sad. Negative emotions also bring certain benefits; they show us that “something in our life needs to be changed.”

Recognize that your mind and body now operate more slowly. They seem to tell us that there is no need to rush, but that we need to delve deeper into our thoughts in order to understand what is happening and find a way out of the current situation.

Focus not on how you feel, but on what needs to be done.

In this state, you often feel angry, sad, you want to sleep, and then talk to someone.

You need to focus your attention not on what you feel, but on what needs to be done.

• I need to look good.
• I need to be alone.
• I need new dreams.
• We need to start all over again.
• You need to stop being sad.
• I want to be needed by people.
• I want me to have high self-esteem.

Do something every day to make you feel better.

You cannot improve your condition instantly. You need to work on this constantly, gradually changing your thinking and behavior.

These small daily actions improve our emotional state and we gradually begin to feel better.

To be happy, you need to be able to give up some things and even people. This is not always easy to do and requires some courage.

• We must learn to listen to our needs, to our conscience. Then we will be able to understand that certain things contradict our essence, they do not allow us to be happy.
• Refusing also means completing certain stages, life “cycles.” It is important to be able to identify what no longer brings us anything good, does not enrich us, what makes us feel bad.
• It is often no one's fault that we are unhappy. Or rather, our fears and self-doubt are to blame, which close the door to happiness for us.

Learn to identify these internal “pests” and get rid of them. There shouldn't be any effort involved.

Publisher: Knarik Petrosyan- February 18, 2019

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Some people think you are dominant. Some people just think you're rude. But none of them are right. These words don't really reflect your personality.

Strong people don't need to win, they just don't want to let other people get in their way. Of course, some people may be afraid of you. But that's only because they don't understand how you can be so comfortable with yourself that you don't need anyone else.

Here are eight signs that you have a strong personality that might intimidate some people.

1. You don't like excuses.

Strong personalities do not tolerate excuses. When you are a strong personality, you don't want to listen to people who are bored about everything. You're better off focusing on what you can do and how you can overcome obstacles to do more.

2. You care about what you put into your life.

How strong man, you do not rely on other people, you clearly understand “who” you are, “why you are needed” or “what you can do.” You recognize that some people need to do the same in order to feel better.

3. You hate talking about nothing.

Useless conversation is terrible. If you are a strong person, you have a lot of ideas. You don't want to waste your time gossiping about people when you could be changing the world.

4. You cannot tolerate insensitivity, idiocy, or ignorance.

Strong personalities are the result of being caring and informed. There is a huge difference between them and dominants.

Because you've spent time and effort using your brain, you hate it when people make snap judgments about things they know nothing about. This is probably yours best quality, but not because you can use your knowledge to influence people. This is because you can use it to encourage people to actually think about what they are saying before they do it.

5. You know how to listen

Strong personalities know how to listen. You'd think people would appreciate it. But in reality, being heard and encouraged is a fear for people who are not used to it.

6. You don't need attention

Strong personalities don't need attention. Most people you meet think you excel at charisma, but that's not true. The amount of communication you have is off the charts, not because you want it, but because people need people like you.

7. You are fearless

Okay, that's not true. There are probably a couple of things that you are afraid of. But the difference between you and other people is that you don't let that fear dictate how you live your life.

8. You strive for growth and development.

Insecurity is an opportunity for you to do better. You know you're not perfect, but if you try to learn and grow, despite the risk of looking stupid.

Publisher: Knarik Petrosyan- February 18, 2019

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I recently received three emails with the same note: “I’m ready to start all over again.” This synchronicity caught my attention and made me think. All three people described in detail situations from their lives, and all three simultaneously asked the same question:

“I don’t know what to do, where to go, I only know that I want to be successful... But what should I do?”

Obviously, it is not so easy to find an answer to such a radical and open-ended question. But I'll try to do it - for all of us. I offer you 5 principles and strategies that I live by myself. These are 5 ways to change your life at any age.

1. Focus less on the future and more on today.

I agree, it’s absolutely normal to plan for your future. But - not to the detriment of today. The truth is that no matter how smart you are, and no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to accurately simulate your Tomorrow. Even people who always have a carefully thought-out plan (for example, all the steps to become a doctor, run a business, etc.) actually cannot predict what awaits them along the way. It would be naive to hope that everything will turn out exactly as you planned.

Life rarely goes according to plan. For every person who set a goal for himself and walked towards it unhindered until he achieved it, there are hundreds of those who started strong and confident, but never reached the finish line. And if this happened to you, it's okay. Unforeseen circumstances and new opportunities may appear in front of you like mushrooms after rain.

Perhaps in order to correct your perspective, strengthen your determination, and perhaps to help you understand that you are going the wrong way and should turn around. It is possible that the place you find yourself in tomorrow does not even exist today. For example, just 10 years ago it was impossible to imagine that you could make a career at Google, Facebook or Twitter.

So, if you can't plan for your future, what should you do? Focus less on the future. Focus on what you can do today, no matter what Tomorrow brings.

Read. Write. Learn new things and practice them. Test your new skills and ideas. Create something new. Work on your relationships. All this will help you when you encounter unforeseen circumstances in the future.

One of the best ways to get started with all this, I think, is to do or create something, even very small, in your free time. Most people spend their free time on things that are completely useless for their lives - watching TV, video games, social networks, etc. One year of such pastime - and you will have absolutely no ideas or desires left.

But if you draw every day, or learn graphic design, or write a blog, or open and run your own YouTube channel, or write a business project, or spend more time with people with relevant skills... in a year you will be able to create something or do. In addition, you will gain tremendous life experience, because you will be able to proudly say: “I created this and that that many people cannot do.”

It should be noted that this is possible not only for young, easy-going people, but also for each of us - regardless of age. It’s very simple: every day take at least a small step in the right direction, day after day, and so on for the rest of your life.

2. Focus on the journey itself, not the achievements.

We gain the most valuable experience in life not in achieving something, but in searching for ways and solutions. The most important thing is your journey to the endless horizon, when goals move with you, and you are calm and confident.

Why do we have to constantly move forward, move from one point to another? To understand the difference, to realize how the previous one differed from the next one, to see what is between the two points of your path. In the process, a lot of wonderful things will happen to you: you will meet your love, you will become stronger, you will gain invaluable experience. It is impossible to achieve all this without moving forward, without your journey through life.

In other words, the right journey is our destination.

3. Do difficult things.

If you want to stop growing and stop, make up an excuse for yourself. Lots of excuses. And, conversely, if you want to get out of this “trap,” do things that literally push you out of your comfort zone. Do something you've never done before.

There is no reasonable justification for not doing this. Not a single one - to repeat the same mistakes with enviable persistence. Life is too short. You must finally throw off your shackles and feel free.

One of the most important skills you can acquire in life is to learn to be comfortable outside of your comfort zone from time to time. Because truly worthwhile and magnificent things come into our lives only this way - hard, painfully, with effort.

Acquiring each new skill is not easy. Building a business is hard. Writing books is difficult. Getting married is also not easy. And raise children too. And keep in good physical shape. Everything is not easy and requires our efforts and efforts.

If you don't learn to do difficult things, you won't do or achieve anything.

How to achieve all this? Purposefully do things that are difficult for you every day. Start with the smallest things and gradually increase the complexity of the tasks. Start with 10 minutes if you find it very difficult at first.

Practice every day for a month until you reach a slightly more difficult level. Try, for example, meditating or practicing writing every evening for at least 10 minutes - for starters. When you feel that the level of discomfort has decreased, you can increase the time of exercise.

4. Make peace with uncertainty.

Developing the skill of “implementing difficult things” is directly related to the feeling of uncertainty. For example, if you decide to start your own business, which is commendable and wonderful. But if you are afraid of uncertainty, you may miss a lot.

You cannot know for sure how things will go, and in order to quickly respond to all challenges, you need to use new opportunities: come up with new projects, make new acquaintances. All this, of course, only adds uncertainty.

But if you accept uncertainty, you will open up a sea of ​​new possibilities. Of course, no one promises that it will be easy...

Sometimes you won't even fully understand which direction you're going. Each step will be difficult and will seem impossible. But you must remember that as long as you follow your intuition and take at least a small step towards your goal every day, your internal GPS will lead you to your destination.

You will realize that you good man and you do everything right. That you are in the right place at the right time. Trust your instincts (intuition). Relax. You know what you're doing. Living is learning along the way.

Don't forget: life is a pretty risky business. Every decision you make, every initiative, every step is a risk. Even in the morning, when you get out of bed, you are already taking quite a bit of risk. In truth, life is about being aware of this risk and accepting it, and never fooling yourself. The choice is small: either do not get out of bed, consoling yourself with illusory safety, or take risks and live.

If you simply ignore your feelings and allow uncertainty to defeat you, this is bad. After all, you will never know anything for sure. And this uncertainty is even worse than finding confirmation of your worst guesses. After all, if you are wrong, you can always correct everything and continue the path forward, without looking back and without fear of what awaits us ahead.

Afterword: When you learn to accept discomfort and uncertainty, you will be able to handle absolutely anything. You will be able to do what you were afraid to even think about yesterday. For example, travel the world and blog about it, write a book, start your own business, move to another city, learn to play some musical instrument, change your profession, sail to the island of your dreams with your family and much, much more. You don't have to wait years to do this. You can do this now, but with one condition - you will have to accept discomfort and uncertainty. Well, remember: better late than never.

5. Work on your relationships with other people.

There are people whom you consider good, and there are those whom you absolutely dislike. There are fake and hypocritical ones, and there are real and sincere friends. There are people who hurt you to the core, and there are people who will help heal these wounds. It's up to you to decide who you spend your time with.

True friends are always honest, they will always come to your aid - exactly at the moment when you need it most. Maintain relationships with people who support you and keep their word.

The truth is, if you spend your time on bad and unnecessary relationships (personal or professional), and vice versa, you spend little time strengthening good relationships, you will fall into the trap of fleeting romances and superficial friendships. Understanding this will still overtake you one day, so carefully analyze your relationship.

How to build healthy, lasting personal and professional relationships? How to find friends with whom you will grow and become better? How to meet the right people?

Have a conversation! Talk to a lot of people every day, even if it's uncomfortable for you. Bosses. Colleagues. Subordinates. Professors. Workers. Mentors. Neighbours. Friends. Friends of friends. Everything! This is how a “network” of your people is built.

I had three jobs after graduating from college (then I started my own business), but I was only interviewed by my first employer. The other two offered me a job without wasting time on conversation. At the same time, they were guided only by the recommendations of the previous employer. And this is normal practice: ask those you trust about a person.

If you start building a “network” of your people today, it will work for you for many years to come. You will meet acquaintances of acquaintances, new colleagues of former colleagues, etc. This is like a snowball effect and should continue throughout your life.

Again, don't think that this only applies to young people who easily make new acquaintances. This can be done easily at any age. There would only be a desire.

The main thing is to be sincere and honest in any relationship. When someone gives you the opportunity to work for them, their greatest fear is that you will not live up to their expectations. Therefore, people who are always honest and care about their reputation have better chances in life. Try to always be open and sincere in your relationships with everyone. If mistakes are pointed out to you, have the courage to admit them and work on them. Try to look beyond your personal or professional relationships when evaluating people—whether they're your boss or your subordinate.

If you adhere to these principles, you will easily gain a good reputation and build healthy and strong relationships with other people. And this is The best way get Good work, investing in your business or making a good friend.

Afterword

If you adhere to the principles described in this article, your life will change dramatically. You will be able to do and achieve much more than other people. There is no need to even compare here. You will have a lot of new opportunities: build a career, create something incredible with someone, come up with a business idea, acquire skills for your further growth, etc.

Of course, you don't have to do all this and choose the easiest path in life. Thus, we continue to move along the usual circle of old problems and despair.

Or you can start making changes from today, and make sure that the world around you is also changing.

Each of us has days when, it seems, everything is fine and nothing foretells trouble, and then overnight - boom! - and everything becomes bad and gloomy. Outwardly everything is the same, but inside a volcano begins to rage, and you realize that you are at the very bottom of your soul.

What was the reason for this? Someone's remark? Smell? Sound? It’s difficult to determine what exactly made you go into a dive, but the bottom line is that peace of mind is disturbed. Something very small sent you into rage, anger, despair or resentment. And so quickly that you yourself cannot understand how and why you got here.

How to avoid getting into such situations? How to find peace of mind? Is it possible to make sure that the body and soul are always in harmony and there are no breakdowns? Can. You can become a whole person, and then no small pricks or even big blows of fate will throw you off balance.

First lesson

If incidents constantly happen to you when there is a “last straw” - and this could be runaway milk, or a dead phone, or a broken heel, then there are those things that, in principle, are not even worth discussing, but they plunged you into the abyss of pain, then look into your childhood. Most likely, it all started there. Maybe you were ignored or insulted. Maybe they treated you with contempt or, on the contrary, they wanted too much. Childhood traumas are forgotten by the consciousness, but the subconscious remembers them and they, like shrapnel, are looking for a way out. And very often it happens this way.

We all have these holes. For some, they are small, you can easily bypass them, for others, they are simply an American canyon, left by the environment - relatives, acquaintances, teachers, friends, neighbors.

Serious reasons very rarely throw us into such pits. You feel them and therefore prepare. Or you shy away. Only little things can push you into such a mental hole. To combat such pitfalls, psychotherapists advise getting yourself a Personal Salvation Card. What does this mean: you draw up a registration card for yourself, in which you indicate all the evidence that you are an independent, adult, self-sufficient person. Write in it your age, education, all your regalia, including school certificates of merit, academic degrees, the fact that you know how to drive a car, have children, vote and all that other stuff - what a full-fledged adult has the right to do. When you find yourself on the edge of a mental hole, take out this card and read it. Secure yourself as an adult, realize that childhood has already passed. This will give you some support.

On the back, write the addresses and phone numbers of those people who are ready to lend you a helping hand at any moment. This is your Personal Rescue Service. Write here only those who truly love you for who you are. Those who are not afraid of your inner darkness and will do everything possible to pull you out into the light.

Lesson two

Never compare your life to how other people live! You have no idea how they live, and you draw conclusions only based on the external factors that they show you. You are trying to compare the incomparable - what you have inside with what they have outside. Believe me, it only seems to you that others have an easier and simpler life.

Don't covet someone else's life, live your own. It will be calmer this way.

You came into this world this way, not others. And the Universe wants you to remain yourself, and not try to live someone else's life. Yes, life kicks us like a soccer ball at the World Cup, try to find your charm in it - enjoy the sharp turns, descents and shaking. Enjoy this journey. This is only your journey - your life.

Lesson three

Our life is very short. And it’s up to you whether to deal with it or deal with death. If you are always in a state of mental confusion and at the same time do nothing to get rid of this oppressive feeling, you are not living, you are dealing with your death.

Life very often takes us to a fork in the road “Life – Death”, and it is up to us which path to take.

If you find yourself in a hole, get out of it as quickly as possible before it turns into a grave.

Lesson four

We live very little in the present. The majority lives in the past, a small percentage lives in the future, and those who enjoy the present moment can be counted on one hand. You can endure whatever life has in store for you if you don’t look into the future and constantly replay the past in your thoughts. Important rule In working on how to find peace of mind, it is always to remember that:

Can not be bad life. There are bad moments.

And these moments need to be experienced and sent back to the past. And never remember again.

This is how we get rid of deadly diseases. Those who have won the fight against cancer say: “I just lived today and never looked at the calendar. My task was one - to live today. And I did it.”

This approach can be applied to any situation. Just live NOW. André Dubus said it very well:

“Despair arises from our imagination, which lies that the future exists and persistently “predicts” millions of moments, thousands of days. It devastates you and you can no longer live in the present moment.”

Don't be wasted in fear of the future and don't regret the past. Live today.

Lesson five

This is perhaps the most fun lesson, which is not at all difficult to complete. We need to go back a little... to childhood.

Each of us remains a child inside. We try to look grown up and succeed until someone or something hits our “pet peeve” and we instantly turn into a scared, offended toddler.

Remove bad childhood memories - create a second childhood for yourself, which will be much happier than the first.

Remember what you wanted as a child, but you didn’t get it. And give it to yourself right now.

Have you wanted to have little pink booties? Go and buy it. Have you dreamed of owning a construction car? Go to the store immediately. Did you want to, but were afraid to climb a tree? Who's stopping you from doing this right now?

Here are some more ideas to help you find peace of mind:

• Go to the planetarium and make a wish on a shooting star;
• Paint the wallpaper in the bedroom;
• Watch cartoons all day;
• Pick a bouquet of dandelions;
• Ride on the swing;
• Walk in the rain without an umbrella;
• Ride your bike through the puddles;
• Have a picnic right on the living room floor;
• Build a fort out of tables, stools, sheets and blankets;
• Draw with chalk on the asphalt;
• Fill glasses with water and try to play some melody on them;
• Have a pillow fight;
• Jump on your bed until you get tired and fall asleep.

What to do is your choice. This list can be supplemented and supplemented. Come up with your own, go back to childhood. Remember that it is never too late to make yourself a happy childhood, which depends only on you.

We can talk about how to find peace of mind again and again. But even these five lessons, if you begin to implement them in your life, will add peace and inner harmony to you. Give it a try. Choose a fulfilling life, not dark pits, and you will find the long-awaited peace of mind. Good luck to you!

“Let troubled water calm down and it will become clear.” (Lao Tzu)
« Never rush and you will arrive on time» . (C. Talleyrand)

Another article from the “every day” section - theme of peace in human life. How to stay calm, why calm is so good for life and health. We specifically placed this article in the “every day” section, because we believe that it will be useful for every person to calm down in time, put their thoughts in order and just relax. When we make a hasty or emotional decision, we sometimes become disappointed and regret what we did after a while, feeling guilty. To prevent such situations from happening, you need to take this skill into your arsenal. And in general, peace of mind will have the most beneficial effect on health and success in life. In a clear and calm state, a person is able to more soberly assess the situation, feel himself and the world. Let's try to figure out what calmness is and try on this feeling for ourselves.

Your thoughts are like circles on water. Clarity disappears in excitement, but if you let the waves calm down, the answer will become obvious. (Cartoon Kung Fu Panda)

So, what are the benefits of peace of mind:

Calmness gives strength - to overcome external obstacles and internal contradictions.
Calmness gives liberation - it contains fears, complexes and self-doubt.
Calmness shows the way - for self-improvement.
Peace of mind comes from goodwill – from the people around you.
Calmness gives confidence – in one’s own abilities.
Calmness gives clarity - thoughts and actions.

Calm is a state of mind in which internal conflicts and contradictions do not arise, and external objects are perceived equally balanced.

Manifestations of calmness in everyday life; everyday situations, discussions, in families, extreme situations:

Everyday situations. The ability to extinguish an incipient quarrel between friends or loved ones is the skill of a calm person.
Discussions. The ability to calmly, without getting excited or lost, to defend one’s position is the ability of a calm person.
Scientific experiments. Only calm confidence in their own rightness helps scientists move towards their intended goal through a series of failures.
Extreme situations. Clarity of mind and rationality of actions are the advantages of a calm person that increase his chances of salvation even in the most difficult situations.
Diplomacy. A necessary quality for a diplomat is calm; it helps to restrain emotions and perform only rational actions.
Family education. Parents who raise their children in a calm environment, without excesses and loud quarrels, instill calmness in their children.

One cannot but agree:

Calmness is the ability to maintain clarity of mind and sobriety under any external circumstances.
Calmness is the willingness to always act rationally, based on logical conclusions, and not on an emotional outburst.
Calmness is a person’s self-control and strength of character, which helps to survive in force majeure and achieve success in ordinary circumstances.
Calmness is an expression of sincere trust in life and the world around us.
Calmness is a benevolent attitude towards the world and a friendly attitude towards people.

If you feel like time is passing too quickly, slow down your breathing....

How to achieve calmness, how to calm down right now, how to find calmness in practice

1. Sit on a chair and completely relax. Starting from your toes and gradually moving up to your head, relax every part of your body. Confirm relaxation with words: “My toes are relaxed... my fingers are relaxed... my facial muscles are relaxed...”, etc.
2. Imagine your mind as the surface of a lake in a thunderstorm, with waves rising and water bubbling.. But the waves subsided, and the surface of the lake became calm and smooth.
3. Spend two or three minutes recalling the most beautiful and tranquil scenes you have ever beheld.: for example, a mountainside at sunset, or a deep plain filled with the silence of the early morning, or a forest at noon, or the reflection of moonlight on ripples of water. Relive these pictures in your memory.
4. Repeat slowly the words of calm, calmly, melodiously a series of words expressing peace and quiet, for example: calm (say it slowly, in a low voice); serenity; silence. Think of some other words of this type and repeat them.
5. Make a mental list of times in your life when you knew you were under God's protection, and remember how He brought everything back to normal and calmed you down when you were worried and scared. Then read aloud this line from the old hymn: “Thy power has guarded me so long that I know it will QUIETLY guide me further.”
6. Repeat the following verse, which has amazing power to relax and calm the mind.: « You keep him who is strong in spirit in perfect peace, for he trusts in You."(Book of the Prophet Isaiah 26:3). Repeat it several times during the day, as soon as you have a free minute. Repeat this, if possible, out loud so that by the end of the day you have time to say it many times. See these words as powerful, vital words that penetrate your mind, and from there it sends them out into every area of ​​your thinking, like a healing balm. This is the most effective medicine to remove tension from your mind..

7. Allow your breathing to bring you to a calm state. Conscious breathing, which is a powerful meditation in itself, will gradually bring you into contact with the body. Pay attention to your breathing, how the air moves in and out of your body. Inhale and feel how with each inhalation and exhalation your stomach first rises slightly and then falls. If visualization is easy enough for you, then simply close your eyes and imagine yourself engulfed in light or immersed in a luminous substance - in a sea of ​​consciousness. Now breathe in this light. Feel how the luminous substance fills your body and also makes it glow. Then gradually shift your focus more to the feeling. So you are in the body. Just don't get attached to any visual image.

As you develop the techniques suggested in this chapter, the tendency toward the old behavior of tearing and throwing will gradually change. In direct proportion to your progress, the strength and ability to cope with any responsibility in your life will increase, which was previously suppressed by this unfortunate habit.

Learning to be calm - How to remain calm at a crucial moment, and in difficult situations, sound reasoning about a person’s calmness and emotions (in some places, especially at the beginning and end, and in the middle in some places):

What other methods and ways of finding peace of mind exist in life, where to go for peace of mind, what will help you find peace of mind, where to find peace of mind:

Faith gives a person peace of mind. A believer is always confident that everything in life - both good and bad - has meaning. Therefore, faith gives a person peace of mind. - "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."(Gospel of Matthew 11:28)
Psychological trainings. Inner peace training can help a person shed the shackles of self-doubt and get rid of fears; therefore, cultivate calmness in yourself.
Self improvement. The basis of calm is self-confidence; by overcoming complexes and constriction, cultivating self-respect, a person approaches a state of calm.
Education. For peace of mind, understanding is necessary - in order to understand the nature of things and their interrelationship, a person needs education

Selected quotes and aphorisms about calmness:

What elements make up happiness? Only of two, gentlemen, only of two: a calm soul and a healthy body. (Michael Bulgakov)
The greatest peace of heart is possessed by the one who cares neither about praise nor about blame. (Thomas à Kempis)
The highest degree of human wisdom is the ability to adapt to circumstances and remain calm despite external storms. (Daniel Defoe)
Peace of mind is the best relief in trouble. (Plautus)
Passions are nothing more than ideas in their first development: they belong to the youth of the heart, and he is a fool who thinks to worry about them all his life: many calm rivers begin with noisy waterfalls, but not one jumps and foams all the way to the sea. (Mikhail Lermontov)
Everything usually goes well as long as we are calm. This is the law of nature. (Max Fry)

What useful things will I take away for myself and for life from this article:
If any difficulties arise in life, I will first calm down and then make the right decision....
I will remember quotes about calmness that will help me in difficult times, in times of unrest....
I will put the methods of entering a calm state into practice....

We must value peace of mind if we want to live our lives happily!

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How to stay calm, the health benefits of calm, or how to stop tearing and throwing.

Many people unnecessarily complicate their lives, wasting their strength and energy, succumbing to an uncontrollable state, which is expressed in the words “tearing and throwing.”

Does it happen to you that you “tear and rush”? If yes, then I will paint you a picture of this condition. The word "to tear" means boiling, explosion, release of steam, irritation, confusion, seething. The word "throw" has similar meanings. When I hear it, I remember a sick child at night, who is capricious and either screams or whines pitifully. As soon as it subsides, it starts again. This is an annoying, annoying, destructive act. Throwing is a children's term, but it describes the emotional reaction of many adults.

The Bible advises us: “...not in Your wrath...” (Psalm 37:2). This helpful advice for the people of our time. We need to stop tearing and throwing and find peace if we want to maintain the strength for an active life. How can this be achieved?

The first stage is to moderate your stride, or at least the pace of your steps. We don't realize how much the pace of our lives has increased or the speed we set for ourselves. Many people are destroying their lives at this rate. physical body, but what’s even sadder is that they also tear their minds and souls to shreds. A person can live a calm physical life and at the same time maintain a high emotional pace. From this point of view, even a disabled person can live at too high a pace. This term defines the nature of our thoughts. When the mind frantically jumps from one position to another, it becomes extremely agitated, and the result is a state close to a flash of irritation. The pace of modern life must be slowed down if we do not want to suffer later from the debilitating overstimulation and excessive worry it causes. Such overexcitation produces toxic substances in the human body and leads to illnesses of an emotional nature. This is where fatigue and a feeling of disappointment arise, which is why we tear up and fight when it comes to everything, from our personal problems to events on a national or global scale. But if the influence of this emotional anxiety produces such an effect on our physiology, then what can we say about the effect on that deep inner essence of a person, which is called the soul?

It is impossible to find peace of mind when the pace of life increases so feverishly. God can't go that fast. He won't make an effort to keep up with you. It is as if He is saying, “Go ahead if you must adjust to this foolish pace, and when you are exhausted, I will offer you My healing. But I can make your life very fulfilling if you will slow down now and begin to live, move and abide in Me.” God moves calmly, slowly and in perfect harmony. The only reasonable pace for life is Divine Tempo. God makes sure that everything is done and done correctly. He does everything without haste. He doesn't tear or rush. He is calm, and therefore his actions are effective. This same peace is offered to us: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you...” (Gospel of John 14:27).

In a certain sense, this generation is worthy of pity, especially in big cities, since it is under the influence of constant nervous tension, artificial excitation and noise. But this disease also penetrates into remote rural areas, since air waves transmit this tension even there.

I was made to laugh by one elderly lady who, while discussing this problem, said: “Life is so mundane.” This line very well reflects the pressure, responsibility and tension that brings us everyday life. The constant insistent demands placed on us by life provoke this tension.

Someone may object: isn’t this generation so accustomed to tension that many feel unhappy due to the incomprehensible discomfort caused by the absence of the usual tension? The deep tranquility of forests and valleys, so well known to our forefathers, is an unusual state for modern people. The pace of their lives is such that in many cases they find themselves unable to find the sources of peace and quiet that the material world offers them.

One summer afternoon, my wife and I went for a long walk in the forest. We stayed at a beautiful mountain lodge on Lake Mohonk, located in one of America's most wonderful natural parks - 7,500 acres of virgin mountain slopes, between which is a lake that lies like a pearl in the middle of the forest. The word mohonk means "lake in the sky." Many centuries ago, a certain giant raised this part of the earth, which is why sheer cliffs were formed. From the dark forest you emerge onto a majestic headland, and your eyes rest on the vast clearings spread between hills strewn with stones and ancient as the sun. These forests, mountains and valleys are the place where one should get away from the turmoil of this world.

This afternoon, while walking, we watched the summer showers give way to bright sunshine. We were soaked through and began to discuss this excitedly, since it was necessary to wring out our clothes somewhere. And then we agreed that nothing bad will happen to a person if he gets a little wet with clean rainwater, that the rain is so pleasantly cool and refreshes the face, and that you can sit in the sun and dry off. We walked under the trees and talked, and then fell silent.

We listened, listened to the silence. Frankly, the woods are never quiet. An incredible, but invisible activity is constantly unfolding there, but nature does not make any sharp noises, despite the gigantic volume of its work. Natural sounds are always calm and harmonious.

On this beautiful afternoon, nature laid its hand of healing calm on us, and we felt the tension leave our body.
Just at the moment when we were under the spell of this spell, the distant sounds of music reached us. It was a fast, nervous variation of jazz. Soon three young men walked past us - two women and a man. The latter carried a portable radio. These were city dwellers who went for a walk in the forest and, out of habit, brought their city noise with them. They were not only young, but also friendly, because they stopped,

and we had a very nice conversation with them. I wanted to ask them to turn off the radio and invite them to listen to the music of the forest, but I understood that I had no right to lecture them. In the end they went their separate ways.

We talked about the fact that they lose a lot from this noise, that they can go through this calm and not hear the harmony and melodies as ancient as the world, the likes of which man will never be able to create: the song of the wind in the branches of the trees, the sweetest trills of birds pouring out in singing your heart, and the inexplicable musical accompaniment of all spheres in general.

All this can still be found in the countryside, in our forests and endless plains, in our valleys, in the majesty of our mountains, in the sound of foamy waves on the coastal sand. We should take advantage of their healing power. Remember the words of Jesus: “Go alone to a deserted place and rest a little” (Mark 6:31). Even now, as I write these words and give you this good advice, I remember occasions when I needed to remind myself and put into practice the same truth that teaches that we must value peace if we want to live our lives happily.

One autumn day Mrs. Peale and I took a trip to Massachusetts to see our son John, who was then studying at Deerfield Academy. We informed him that we would arrive promptly at 11am, as we prided ourselves on our good old-fashioned habit of being punctual. Therefore, noticing that we were a little late, we rushed headlong through the autumn landscape. But then the wife said, “Norman, do you see that sparkling mountainside?” “Which mountainside?” - I asked. “He was just on the other side,” she explained. “Look at this wonderful tree.” “What other tree?” - I was already a mile away from him. “This is one of the most magnificent days I have ever seen,” said the wife. - Is it possible to imagine such amazing colors as those that color the mountain slopes in New England in October? In essence,” she added, “it makes me happy from the inside out.”

This remark made such an impression on me that I stopped the car and turned back towards the lake, a quarter of a mile away and surrounded by steep hills dressed in autumn clothes. We sat down on the grass, looked at this beauty and thought. God, with the help of His genius and unsurpassed art, decorated this scene with a variety of colors that only He could create. In the still water of the lake there was a picture worthy of His greatness - a mountain slope of unforgettable beauty was reflected in this pond, as in a mirror. We sat for some time without saying a word, until finally my wife broke the silence with the only appropriate statement in such a situation: “ He leads me to still waters"(Psalm 23:2). We arrived in Deerfield at 11 a.m. but didn't feel any fatigue. On the contrary, we even seemed to be thoroughly refreshed.

To help reduce this daily stress, which seems to be the dominant condition of our people everywhere, you can start by slowing down your own pace. To do this, you need to slow down and calm down. Don't get annoyed. Don't worry. Try to remain calm. Follow this instruction: “...and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding...” (Philippians 4:7). Then notice how a feeling of calm strength wells up within you. A friend of mine who was forced to go on vacation because of the “pressure” he had acquired wrote me the following: “I learned a lot during this forced vacation. Now I understand what I did not understand before: in silence we are aware of His presence. Life can get extremely hectic. But as Lao Tzu says, let the troubled water calm down and it will become clear».

One doctor gave rather eccentric advice to his patient, an overly burdened businessman from the category of active acquirers. He excitedly told the doctor what an incredible amount of work he was forced to do, and that he had to do it immediately, quickly, or else...

“And I bring home my work in my briefcase for the evening,” he said excitedly. “Why do you bring work home every evening?” - the doctor asked calmly. “I have to do it,” the businessman said irritably. “Couldn’t someone else do it or help you deal with it?” - asked the doctor. “No,” the patient blurted out. - I'm the only one who can do it. It must be done right, and only I can do it right. It must be done quickly. It all depends on me". “If I give you a prescription, will you follow it?” - asked the doctor.

Believe it or not, this was the doctor's order: the patient was to take two hours out of each work day for a long walk. Then once a week he had to spend half a day in the cemetery.

The surprised businessman asked: “Why should I spend half my day in a cemetery?” “Because I want you to wander around and look at the headstones on the graves of the people who found their eternal rest there. I want you to reflect on the fact that many of them are there because they thought just like you, as if the whole world rested on their shoulders. Consider the serious fact that when you get there permanently, the world will remain the same as before, and other people just as important as you will be doing the same work that you are doing now. I advise you to sit on one of the tombstones and repeat the following verse: “ For in Your sight a thousand years are like yesterday when it is past, and like a watch in the night."(Psalm 89:5).

The patient understood this idea. He moderated his pace. He learned to delegate authority to other, fairly authoritative persons. He came to a correct understanding of his own importance. Stopped tearing and throwing. I found peace. And it should be added that he began to cope better with his work. He has developed a better organizational structure and admits that his business is now in better shape than before.

One famous industrialist suffered greatly from overload. Essentially, his mind was tuned to a state of constantly tense nerves. This is how he described his awakening: every morning he would jump out of bed and immediately start up at full throttle. He was in such a hurry and excitement that he “made himself a breakfast of soft-boiled eggs just because they go faster.” This hectic pace tired and exhausted him to the point of exhaustion by mid-day. Every evening he fell into bed completely exhausted.

It so happened that his house turned out to be located in a small grove. Early one morning, unable to sleep, he got up and sat by the window. And then he began to watch with interest the newly awakened bird. He noticed that the bird was sleeping with its head hidden under its wing, tightly covered with feathers. Having woken up, she stuck her beak out from under the feathers, looked around with her eyes still clouded from sleep, extended one leg to its full length, at the same time stretching her wing along it, opening it in the form of a fan. Then she retracted her paw and folded her wing and repeated the same procedure with the other paw and wing, after which she again hid her head in the feathers to take a little more sweet nap, and stuck her head out again. This time the bird looked around intently, turning its head back, stretched twice more, then uttered a trill - a touching, delightful song of praise for a new day - after which it flew down from the branch, took a sip of cold water and went in search of food.

My nervous friend said to himself: “If this method of awakening works for birds, slow and easy, then why wouldn’t it work for me?”

And he actually did the same performance, including singing, and noticed that the song had a particularly beneficial effect, since it served as a kind of reliever.

“I don’t know how to sing,” he grinned, remembering, “but I practiced: I sat quietly in a chair and sang. Mostly I sang hymns and happy songs. Just imagine - I’m singing! But I did it. My wife thought I was crazy. The only way my program differed from the bird’s was that I also prayed, and then, like the bird, I began to feel that it would not hurt for me to refresh myself, or rather, to eat a solid breakfast - scrambled eggs with ham. And I devoted the allotted time to this. Then, with a peaceful mind, I went to work. All this really contributed to an effective start to the day, without any stress, and helped to work through the day in a calm and relaxed state.”

A former member of a champion university rowing team told me that their team coach, a very insightful man, often reminded them: “ To win this or any other competition, row slowly " He pointed out that hasty rowing, as a rule, disrupts the stroke of the oar, and if this happens, then it is very difficult for the team to restore the rhythm necessary for victory. Meanwhile, other teams bypass the unlucky group. Truly this is wise advice - “to swim fast, row slowly”.

In order to row slowly or work leisurely and maintain a steady pace that leads to victory, the victim of high tempos would do well to coordinate his actions with the peace of God in his own mind, soul and, it might not hurt to add, also in his nerves and muscles.

Have you ever thought about the importance of the presence of Divine peace in your muscles and joints? Perhaps your joints would not hurt so much if there was Divine peace in them. Your muscles will work interconnectedly if their action is controlled by the Divine creative power. Every day tell your muscles, joints and nerves: “...not in Your wrath...” (Psalm 37:2). Relax on your couch or bed, think of each vital muscle from your head to your toes, and say to each one, “Divine peace is upon you.” Then learn to feel the calm flow through your entire body. In due course, your muscles and joints will be in perfect order.

Take your time because what you really want will be there in due time if you work towards it without stress or fuss. But if, continuing to follow Divine guidance and His smooth and unhurried pace, you do not get the desired result, then you must assume that it should not happen. If you missed it, it's probably for the best. Therefore, try to develop a normal, natural, God-determined pace. Develop and maintain mental calm. Learn the art of getting rid of all nervous excitement. To do this, stop your activities from time to time and affirm: “Now I am releasing nervous excitement - it flows out of me. I am calm". Don't tear it. Don't rush around. Develop calm.

In order to achieve this productive state of life, I recommend developing a calm mindset. Every day we perform a number of necessary procedures related to taking care of our body: taking a shower or bath, brushing our teeth, doing morning exercises. Likewise, we should devote some time and some effort to keeping our mind healthy. One way to achieve this is to sit in a quiet place and run a series of calming thoughts through your mind. For example, some memory of a majestic mountain you once saw or a valley above which fog rises, of a river sparkling in the sun where trout splashes, or the silvery reflection of moonlight on the surface of the water.

At least once a day, preferably during the most busy period of the day, deliberately stop all sorts of activities for ten to fifteen minutes and practice a state of serenity.

There are times when it is necessary to resolutely curb our headlong pace, and I must emphasize that the only way to stop is to stop and stop.

Once I went to one of the cities to give a lecture, which had been agreed upon in advance, and was met by representatives of some committee at the train. I was immediately quickly dragged into a bookstore, where I was forced to sign autographs. Then, just as quickly, I was dragged to a light breakfast arranged in my honor, after I quickly devoured this breakfast, I was picked up and taken to the meeting. After the meeting, I was driven back to the hotel at the same speed, where I changed clothes, after which I was hastily escorted to some reception, where I was greeted by several hundred people and where I drank three glasses of punch. Then I was quickly brought back to the hotel and warned that I had twenty minutes to change clothes for dinner. As I was changing, the phone rang and someone said, “Hurry up, please, we have to rush to lunch.” I answered excitedly: “I’m already rushing.”

I quickly ran out of the room, so excited that I could barely get the key into the keyhole. Having quickly felt myself to make sure I was fully dressed, I rushed to the elevator. And then he stopped. It took my breath away. I asked myself: “What is all this for? What is the point in this continuous race? It's funny!

And then I declared my independence and said: “I don’t care whether I get to dinner or not. I don't care whether I give a speech or not. I don’t have to go to this dinner and I don’t have to give a speech.” After that, I deliberately slowly returned to my room and slowly unlocked the door. Then he called the attendant, who was waiting below, and said: “If you are hungry, go ahead. If you want to take a place for me, then after some time I will go down, but I don’t intend to rush anywhere else.”

So I sat, rested and prayed for fifteen minutes. I will never forget the feeling of peace and self-control I felt when I left the room. It was as if I had heroically overcome something, taken control of my emotions, and when I arrived for dinner, the guests had just finished the first course. I only missed the soup, which, by all accounts, was not such a big loss.

This incident made it possible to verify the amazing effect of the healing Divine presence. I acquired these values ​​very in a simple way- stopped, calmly read the Bible, prayed sincerely, and for several minutes filled his mind with calming thoughts.
Doctors generally believe that most physical ailments could be avoided or overcome by constantly practicing the philosophical attitude - there is no need to tear and throw.

A well-known New Yorker once told me that his doctor advised him to come to our church clinic. “Because,” he said, “you need to develop a philosophical way of life. Your energy resources are exhausted."

“My doctor says I'm pushing myself to the limit. He says that I am too tense, too tense, that I tear and sword too much. He declares that the only suitable treatment for me is the development of what he calls a philosophical way of life."
My visitor stood up and began pacing excitedly up and down the room, and then asked: “But how the hell can I work this out? It’s easy to say, but difficult to do.”

Then this excited gentleman continued his story. His doctor gave him certain recommendations for developing this calm, philosophical way of life. The recommendations turned out to be really wise. “But then,” the patient explained, “the doctor suggested that I see your people here in the church, because he believes that if I learn to use religious faith in practice, it will give my mind peace and lower my blood pressure, after which I will feel better physically. And although I admit that my doctor’s prescription makes sense,” he concluded plaintively, “how can a fifty-year-old man, as high-strung by nature as I am, suddenly change the habits that he acquired throughout his life and develop this so-called philosophical image life?
Indeed, this did not seem to be an easy problem, since this man was a complete bundle of nerves inflated to the limit. He paced around the room, pounded the table with his fist, spoke in a loud, excited voice, and gave the impression of an extremely alarmed, confused person. Obviously, his affairs were in a very bad state, but in parallel with this, his inner state was also revealed. The picture thus obtained gave us a chance to help him because we were able to better understand his essence.

Listening to his words and observing his attitude, I understood anew why Jesus Christ has consistently maintained his amazing influence on people. Because He had the answer to problems like this, and I tested this fact by suddenly changing the topic of our conversation. Without any introduction, I began to quote some passages from the Bible, for example: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). And again: “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you: not as the world gives, I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (Gospel of John 14:27). And again: “You will keep him who is strong in spirit in perfect peace, for he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3).

I quoted these words quietly, slowly, thoughtfully. As soon as I fell silent, I immediately noticed that my visitor’s excitement had subsided. Calm came over him and we both sat in silence for a while. It seemed like we sat there for a few minutes, maybe less, but then he took a deep breath and said, “It's funny, I feel a lot better. Isn't that weird? I think those words did it.” “No, not only the words,” I replied, “although they certainly had a significant impact on your mind, but also something incomprehensible that happened after that. A minute ago He touched you - the Healer - with His healing touch. He was present in this room."

My visitor did not show any surprise at this statement, but readily and impulsively agreed - and conviction was written on his face. “That's right, He was definitely here. I felt Him. I understand what you meant. Now I know that Jesus Christ will help me develop a philosophical way of life.”

This man found what more and more people are discovering today: simple faith and the use of the principles and methods of Christianity bring peace and quiet, and therefore new strength to body, mind and spirit. This is the perfect antidote for those who vomit and rush. It helps a person find peace and thus discover new resources of strength.

Of course, it was necessary to teach this person a new way of thinking and behavior. This was done in part with the help of relevant literature written by experts in the field of spiritual culture. For example, we gave him lessons in the skill of going to church. We showed him that church service can be seen as a kind of therapy. We instructed him on the scientific use of prayer and relaxation. And eventually, as a result of this practice, he became healthy person. Anyone who is willing to follow this program and sincerely use these principles day after day, I am confident, will be able to develop inner peace and strength. Many of these methods are presented in this book.

Emotional control is of paramount importance in the daily practice of healing modalities. Control over emotions cannot be achieved with the wave of a magic wand or some the easy way. You can't develop this simply by reading a book, although that often helps. The only guaranteed method is regular, persistent, scientifically based work in this direction and the development of creative faith.

I advise you to start with such a thorough and simple procedure as regular practice being in physical peace. Don't walk from corner to corner. Don't wring your hands. Don't pound your fists on the table, don't shout, don't quarrel. Don't allow yourself to work to the point of exhaustion. With nervous excitement, a person’s physical movements become convulsive. Therefore, start with the simplest thing, stopping all physical movement. Stand still or sit or lie down for a while. And, it goes without saying, speak only in the lowest tones.

When developing control over your state, you need to think about silence, since the body is very sensitive and responds to the way of thinking that dominates the mind. Indeed, the mind can be calmed by calming the body first. In other words, a physical state can cause a desired mental attitude.

Once in my speech I touched upon the following incident, which occurred at a meeting of some committee where I was then present. To one gentleman who heard me tell this story, it produced strong impression, and he took this truth to heart. He tried the suggested methods and reported that they were very effective in gaining control of his tearing and throwing habits.

I once attended a meeting where the heated discussion became quite heated at the end. Passions flared up, and some of the participants were almost on the verge of a breakdown. Harsh remarks followed. And suddenly one man stood up, slowly took off his jacket, unbuttoned the collar of his shirt and lay down on the couch. Everyone was amazed, and someone even asked if he was sick.

“No,” he said, “I feel great, but I’m starting to lose my temper, and I know from experience that it’s hard to lose your temper while lying down.”

We all laughed and the tension subsided. Our eccentric friend then went into further explanation and told how he had learned to play “one little trick” on himself. He had an unbalanced character, and when he felt that he was losing his temper and began to clench his fists and raise his voice, he immediately slowly spread his fingers, preventing them from clenching into a fist again. He did the same with his voice: when tension increased or anger grew, he deliberately suppressed the sound of his voice and switched to a whisper. “It’s absolutely impossible to argue in a whisper,” he said with a laugh.

This principle can be effective in controlling emotional arousal, irritation and tension, as many have found in similar experiments. Therefore, the initial stage in achieving calm state is to practice your physical reactions. You will be surprised at how quickly this will cool the intensity of your emotions, and when this intensity subsides, you will no longer have any desire to tear and throw. You can’t even imagine how much energy and effort you will save. And how much less tired you will become. In addition, this is a very suitable procedure for developing phlegmatism, indifference and even indifference. Don't be afraid to try to develop inertia. Having such skills, people are less likely to experience emotional breakdowns. Highly organized individuals will benefit from this ability to switch their reactions. But it is quite natural that a person of this type will not want to lose such qualities as sensitivity and responsiveness. However, having developed a certain degree of phlegmatism, a harmonious personality acquires only a more balanced emotional position.

The following is a six-step method that I personally find extremely useful for those who want to break the habit of tearing and throwing. I have recommended this method to so many people who have found it extremely helpful.

Mantra of Universal Peace

Probably, every person always wants to be calm and balanced, and experience only pleasant worries, but not everyone succeeds.
Honestly, only a few people know how to feel this way, while the rest live as if “on a swing”: at first they are happy, and then they get upset and worry - unfortunately, people experience the second state much more often.

What is mental balance, and how can you learn to be in it all the time if you can’t achieve it?


What does it mean to have peace of mind?
Many people think that peace of mind is a utopia. Is it normal when a person does not experience negative emotions, does not worry or worry about anything? This probably only happens in a fairy tale, where everyone lives happily ever after. In fact, people have forgotten that a state of mental balance, harmony and happiness is completely normal, and life is beautiful in different manifestations, and not only when everything turns out “our way.”

As a result, in case of violations or complete absence emotional health physical health is seriously affected: not only nervous disorders– are developing serious illnesses. If you lose your peace of mind for a long time, you can “earn” peptic ulcers, skin problems, heart and vascular diseases, and even oncology.
In order to learn to live without negative emotions, you need to understand and be aware of your goals and desires, without replacing them with anyone’s opinions and judgments. People who know how to do this live in harmony with both their mind and soul: their thoughts do not diverge from their words, and their words do not diverge from their actions. Such people also understand those around them and know how to correctly perceive any situation, so they are usually respected by everyone - both at work and at home.
How to find and restore peace of mind
So is it possible to learn this? You can learn anything if you have the desire, but many people, complaining about fate and circumstances, actually do not want to change anything in life: having become accustomed to negativity, they find it the only entertainment and way to communicate - it is no secret that it is negative news that is discussed in many groups with great fervor. If you really want to find peace of mind and perceive the world With joy and inspiration, try to consider and use the methods described below.
- Stop reacting to situations in the “usual” way, and start asking yourself: how am I creating this situation? That’s right: we create any situations that “develop” in our lives ourselves, and then we cannot understand what is happening - we need to learn to see the cause-and-effect relationship. Most often, our thoughts work for the negative course of events - after all, the worst expectations are more common than the expectation of something good and positive.
- Look for opportunities in any trouble, and try to react “inappropriately.” For example, if your boss “got off” on you, don’t be upset, but be happy - at least smile and thank him (you can mentally, for starters) for reflecting your internal problems like a mirror.
- By the way, gratitude is the best way to protect yourself from negativity and restore peace of mind. Develop a good habit of thanking the Universe (God, Life) every evening for the good things that happened to you during the day. If it seems to you that nothing good happened, remember the simple values ​​that you have - love, family, parents, children, friendship: do not forget that not every person has all this.
- Constantly remind yourself that you are not in past or future problems, but in the present - “here and now.” Every person at any given time has what it takes to be free and happy, and this state continues as long as we do not allow past hurts or worst expectations to take over our consciousness. Look for the good in every moment of the present - and the future will be even better.
- You shouldn’t be offended at all - it’s harmful and dangerous: many practicing psychologists note that patients who carry grievances for a long time develop the most serious illnesses. Including oncological ones. It is clear that there is no question of mental balance here.
- Sincere laughter helps to forgive grievances: if you can’t find something funny in the current situation, amuse yourself. You can watch a funny movie or a funny concert, turn on funny music, dance or chat with friends. Of course, you shouldn’t discuss your grievances with them: it’s better to look at yourself from the outside and laugh at your problems together.
- If you feel that you cannot cope with “dirty” thoughts, learn to replace them: use short positive affirmations, meditation or small prayers– for example, try replacing negative thought wishing well to the whole world. This method is very important: after all, at one moment in time we can only hold one thought in our heads, and we ourselves choose “what thoughts to think.”
- Learn to monitor your state - be aware of what is happening to you “here and now”, and soberly assess your emotions: if you are angry or offended, try to stop interacting with others at least for a short time.
- Try to help other people as soon as possible - it brings joy and peace. Only help those who really need it, and not those who want to make you a “hanger” for their problems and grievances.
- An excellent way to help restore peace of mind is to regularly physical exercise. fitness and walking: the brain is saturated with oxygen, and the level of “joy hormones” increases. If something is depressing you, you are anxious and worried, go to a fitness club or gym; if this is not possible, just run or walk in the park or at the stadium - wherever you can. Peace of mind is hardly possible without physical health, and a person who does not know how to achieve balance will not be able to become completely healthy - he will always have disorders and diseases.
“Cheerful” posture is the path to mental balance
Psychologists note that people who take care of their posture are much less susceptible to stress and anxiety. There is nothing complicated here: try hunching over, lowering your shoulders, head, and breathing heavily - in just a few minutes life will seem difficult to you, and those around you will begin to irritate you. And, on the contrary, if you straighten your back, raise your head, smile and breathe evenly and calmly, your mood will immediately improve - you can check it. Therefore, when you work while sitting, do not hunch or “slouch” in your chair, keep your elbows on the table and place your feet next to each other - the habit of crossing your legs does not contribute to balance. If you are standing or walking, distribute your body weight evenly on both legs, and do not slouch - keep your back straight. Try to consciously maintain your posture for a few days, and you will notice that bad thoughts It’s become smaller, but I want to smile more often.
All these methods are very simple, but they only work when we apply them, and not just know about them and continue to think about how we can achieve peace of mind and change our lives for the better.