DRAGON - Aries (March 21 - April 20) The unrelenting energy of the ruling planet - Mars influences the poor animal with such force that everyone around him runs around with burnt holes and smells of burning. Therefore, his undying care and attention, like himself, is difficult not to notice. He burns with all parts of speech honestly and straightforwardly, but it would be better to remain silent. The Serpent Gorynych is impulsive, he should count to thirty and think carefully with each of his heads before flying and creating, destroying everything to the ground. He cannot try on someone else’s skin; not a single skin can fit such a large-scale personality. Therefore, this is crawling, flying, sleeping and flame-throwing self-confidence, exorbitant pride and the ultimate truth. An ardent supporter of polite dictatorship and tactfully imposing his own opinion with targeted fire, but will not be the first to get into a fight. Each barrel contains a massive plug that seeks to control the owner of the barrel, the drink, and the barrel. Thinks globally, on a grand scale, greatly exaggerating facts. If you are sick all over, then three at once; if you have eaten one knight with the appetite, you swear that you have eaten a dozen. DOMOVOY - Taurus (April 21 - May 21) If you have a Domovoy in your apartment, do not despair, consider yourself very lucky, you bought a Taurus cheaply, and a Golden one at that. Take a deep breath and don’t breathe anymore, think about material things, don’t ask yourself the stupid question every day: “Where did the money go?” When money appears in the house, it is immediately stored in a reliable bank, which you cannot get to without a good reason or petition. It’s better to think about something spiritual, for example, about the soul, because Domovoy, although caring and practical, is an evil spirit, and a hectic life awaits you. The brownie is jealous, stubborn, selfish, unyielding in disputes, so it is better to silently agree to everything. The situation is especially unenviable when you moved in with your Domovoy samovar, but the previous residents did not take their Domovoy, and you do not have an address to express everything you think about them. You will have to live in hell for some time. The house will become unbearably hot, you will be accused of all mortal sins, beating, pricking, cutting household items will fly around, you will be tormented by insomnia and otherworldly dark voices that tediously find out who is boss in the house. If you thought this concerned you, relax and take your mind off things. GOBBER - Gemini (May 22 - June 21) Wildly changeable nature, shampoo and conditioner in one bottle. Three minutes ago, Leshy gave you a headache and gave you heat in the land of coal, which was not how they stood, whistled, picked mushrooms, and now it carefully blows coolness, like an air conditioner. What if you started sweating while you were sorting things out with him? Because in order to sort things out with Leshy, you need angelic patience, a sense of humor and a lot of free time. To listen to Leshy, everyone except him has arms, legs, and heads growing from the wrong place. You will have to turn your skin inside out, exchange your right shoe for your left, your left for your right, and guiltily back away from your business so that Leshy will spare you and not talk about twelve hours a day on any freely given topic. Don't sit on a tree stump, don't eat the pie - he'll talk too much, confuse you, and choke on the pie. The goblin has three gifts: the gift of speech, the gift of deeds and the gift of tediousness, and gives them away for free. Ruled by the fleet-footed Mercury, Leshy is as mobile as mercury, running around, flickering around, peddling a useless decoction of freshly dug moss. Better than him, no evil spirits can clutter up and quickly turn a normal, spacious forest into a slum. The goblin does not lie, but plays with his imagination, does not confuse his tracks, but jokes, does not plot, but has fun, is not late, but lingers. Therefore, he is an excellent politician, an intriguer and a talented critic of everyone and everything, but, like Vodyanoy, he is not appreciated in his native forest. KIKIMORA - Cancer (June 22 - July 22) Emotional, sentimental, dreamy, sensitive, affectionate and good-natured evil spirits. A dual, contradictory nature, she loves change and variety, she wants to be with women, then with girls, to be either a domestic, dependent Kikimora, or a wild-free, swamp Kikimora. Having quarreled with Vodyanoy, she runs to Domovoy, offended by Domovoy, returns to Vodyanoy, torn between home and swamp, as a rule, she is unhappy and misunderstood in her personal life. He has the gift of foresight; if you get drunk from a hoof, it means you’ll become a little goat; if you foolishly go drown yourself in a swamp, it means you’re not all at home. In any case, you will need an ambulance to help Kikimora. She will scream at you mentally, put a hundred leeches on you, pour on you cold water, smear him in healing mud, wrap him in mud and lay him under a bush to recover. Kikimora is selfless, knows how to keep secrets, you can trust her gold coin, while you lie down under the bush. She will bury it, and by morning you will have a whole tree covered in gold. If suddenly the tree does not grow, and Kikimora has forgotten in which field of fools she buried the coin, do not despair, the main thing is not the result, but the care and attention shown. Kikimora is faithful and devoted friend, falling into its claws, you are doomed. CAT BAYUN - Leo (July 23 - August 23) The king of animals, who retired to a dubious rest, fell into childhood, returned to his roots. He goes to the right - he starts a song, to the left - he tells a fairy tale, he does it masterfully with great charisma, even if he has neither hearing nor voice. It can lull you to sleep, even if it’s not the time, not the place, and you weren’t going to sleep. If you fall asleep, you will fall asleep forever, but you will see colorful dreams, like the Cat Bayun goes to the right - the song starts, to the left... Endowed with intelligence and magnetism, but often suffers from amnesia: “I am not me, and the kittens are not mine, where I was, whom I finished off with my intellect, I magnetized it tightly - I don’t remember.” Generous and noble: “I forgive everyone to whom I owe!” Loves to take care of, especially the weak: mouse, bunny, hamster, bird, fish. He takes care of him for a long time, carefully, with interest, and can then mercifully release him into the wild if he has had enough of playing. You should take vigilant care of him - feed him sour cream, fresh meat, give him cream, stroke his fur, comb out fleas, otherwise he will wither away and refuse to be your reason for life. Make no mistake, Cat Bayun is a wild animal, no matter how you feed him, he always looks into the forest. A stubborn, arrogant and damn smart predator, if he needs to get that sausage over there, will hunt until the sausage is surrendered to the mercy of the winner. BABA YAGA - Virgo (August 24 - September 23) In fact, this is Vasilisa the Wise, tired of the bustle and disillusioned with the human race, which she knows as flaky. Misanthrope and cynic eminence grise retired, who retired to the wilderness for ingenious bead weaving. Peacefully brews potions, dries fly agarics for the winter, so that on occasion he can treat his neighbor who has wandered into the forest. A closed nature, overly cautious, boring and demanding, she will check seven times why you came, and only once will cut off your tail right up to the ears, because she does not accept any compromises, you are torturing the case, but you are doing nothing, there is no middle ground, “after a difficult plowing lie on the stove, eating rolls" does not work as an argument. Evil spirits are fair, corrosive and meticulous, read bad thoughts, understand nasty things at a glance, and express themselves adequately in response. A weak strategist, but a strong tactician, is able to motivate him to send him to hell by handing him a small ball and pointing in the direction with a broom. Baba Yaga's remarks often hurt, her actions shock, her ruthlessness and coldness offend good fellows, but her help is as effective as “dead” + “living” water when you have already been chopped into cabbage. The evil spirits are hardworking, wasteful, economical and thrifty, but gambling, and “if they are in the mood” they can waste their accumulated funds by playing preference with the Nightingale the Robber. In Yaga’s hut there is an ideal organization of work, potions are arranged in the correct order, spiders weave webs in strictly designated corners, the cat shits exclusively where necessary, mice line up and run in a clear sequence like pigs, flies fly along the intended trajectory. Baba Yaga is taciturn, reserved, but curious, and conducts inquiries with passion over trifles. Carefully! Anything you mix up in your testimony will be used against you. MARA - Libra (September 24 - October 23) A ghost lives in a medieval castle in thick fog, especially in the mornings. Mysterious, murky creature, where will he go- doesn’t know what she’ll wear - hasn’t chosen with whom - unknown, why - hasn’t come up with an idea, most likely won’t go anywhere at all, because she has to get up, drag herself around, carefully weigh all the pros and cons. Without analyzing the situation, which she herself will muddy to the limit, Mara will not lift a finger, will not move her ear, will not rustle her shroud. You can lure evil spirits only “out of creepy interest.” A supporter of the beliefs: why run when you can stand, why stand when you can sit, and why sit when you can lie down. It is no coincidence that evil spirits are personified with death by suffocation; just go shopping with it, and you will either strangle it or exhaust yourself. To be or not to be in this suit is a matter of life, death and your nerves of steel. Mara is an extremely noisy and annoying ghost, arriving at midnight, rattling her chains until six o’clock in the morning, vigorously discussing with you the touching and funny story of “how she came to such a life after death,” even if you are silent, yawning and unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep. But Mara is not so much yours nightmare, like a villainous fate incarnate, sheer confusion and slight clouding of reason. He can get you from the other world and tactlessly, but affectionately, blow your brains out. Don’t worry, during the day the evil spirits won’t bother you; they can’t be seen or heard when it comes to everyday, dreary work. MERMAID - Scorpio (October 24 - November 22) If you are determined to swim, prepare for the worst. Cultivate willpower, be patient, learn to breathe evenly, buy waterproof earplugs and white rubber slippers, suddenly your life path Mermaid will meet. The mermaid will sit on a pebble in the middle of a pond and comb her wondrous hair with a wonderful comb for a loooong time, even if she has a short crew cut on her head. And you should hang out like an enthusiastic idol on the shore in slippers, with a towel at the ready, without breathing, so that no circles in the water interfere with the process. If you interfere, the Rusalka will drown you in a whirlpool of emotions, beat you to death with a comb and drag you to the bottom to build a crystal palace under a snag. The nature is complex, mysterious, emotional, rushing from one extreme to another, now sitting in a lake, now climbing into a bottle on an oak tree, now singing sweetly, now screaming with a fire siren, now an angel, now God knows what. Out of love for you, she is capable of giving her voice to a witch, and will immediately turn you into sea foam, because she is so changeable and impulsive. She can be forgiven, she has an internal conflict between the sublime and the base: the top want to bring their unearthly beauty to people, and the bottom has low self-esteem. The mermaid is independent, disobedient, willful, escapes from any net, evil spirits can be manipulated, but carefully, with tight velor gloves. Put more pressure on pity, the Mermaid, somewhere very deep in her soul, is kind and sympathetic. Dashing One-Eyed - Sagittarius - (November 23 - December 21) In fact, Dashing Two-Eyed, but if you wake up when you haven’t had enough sleep, it will start shooting you dashingly. Evil spirits will grab a bow, arrows, a pillow that comes to hand, carefully aim, squinting their eyes... they do everything carefully and neatly... you will remember this beautiful one-eyed face forever short life, leaving an admonition for posterity: DO NOT WAKE UP! It was about the child Dashing that they said: “Seven nannies have a child without an eye.” It grew up, the nannies fell under the dashing natural selection, but the evil spirits retained their restlessness, cheerfulness and energy, as well as their eyelessness. Dashing is a complete idealist and incurable romantic, believes in a bright future, in love at first sight, in friendship at second, in divorce and maiden name from the third. Stepping on the same rake, he stubbornly turns a blind eye to human vices of scattering utensils everywhere, so he proudly walks through life with a black eye and scars on his rake-wounded heart. If you are eager to find out the whole truth about yourself, without fear of an arrow in the ass, a pillow in the ears, or an onion in the eye, go to Likh and ask. KASHCHEY IMMORTAL - Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) The nature is integral, stubborn, ambitious, fireproof, waterproof, bulletproof and strong-willed. It’s about him that they tenderly say behind his back, “you’ve shown yourself, you’ll erase the figs, you little goat,” but in his eyes, they sternly say, “the salt of the Earth,” which is fair, it’s not sugar. The only evil spirit not prone to obesity, but don’t risk calling it a walking soup set, it forgives offense if only you, a young eagle, are sitting in a damp dungeon and rattling your chains on your last breath. The leader and strategist takes full responsibility for the gold obtained in the struggle, over which he voluntarily withers. Values ​​material goods “just like that,” in a chest, and not for comfort. You can always cry into his shin bone, he is a pessimist, he will sympathize so much with your grief, radiculitis and a bunch of problems with your teeth that you will immediately understand that it will be worse. Jealous, but restrained, he solves the problem of his headache radically - with your guillotine. He loves solitude with Vasilisa the Beautiful in the kitchen and with a dozen Ivanov-Tsareviches in the dungeon, because it is more fun to grumble, philosophize, be witty and appreciate everything beautiful in a pleasant company. Nightingale the Robber - Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) Lazy, friendly, irresponsible evil spirits, prefers to sit on the branches and constantly whistle at you. The nature is airy, flutters through life, pours water into its mill, successfully spinning the wheel of fortune. Knows perfectly well what, to whom and when to whistle with a dashing brave whistle so that the victim’s ears are blocked, she loses orientation in space, gives up her horse, throws down her weapon and blows different sides. Most often, the Nightingale the Robber chooses the creative professions of the pen and the axe. The evil spirits are charming to the point of trembling in the knees, optimistic, sociable, pouring out like a nightingale, so you are tormented by vague doubts, maybe this is not a highwayman, but Robin Hood, who abandoned the comforts of home in order to give freedom and freedom to an unsuspecting traveler. Nightingale the Robber is inquisitive and compassionate, he will carefully check how far you have been blown by the wind, how many arms and legs you have broken, how much food and uneaten food you have left in your knapsack. Evil spirits are generously gifted by nature, but they do not have time to develop their numerous talents, everything goes to waste. Creative, but in an eternal search, she easily builds castles in the air, and easily destroys them in front of the amazed public. A maniac and a gambler in everything, he is extremely patient, he can wait and catch up forever, he has time. Prefers to wear a casual suit that is soft, meek, white, fluffy, don’t be fooled, the bunny suit hides a duck, an egg, an iron character. AQUARIUS - Pisces (February 19 - March 20) If you sit in a deep puddle, you are quickly sucked in, you begin to perish and gurgle indignantly, but suddenly something pale, green, decisive appears, which pulls you like a hippopotamus, patriotically praising your native puddle, have no doubt - in front of you is Vodyanoy. He loves his swamp so much that he prefers not to crawl out of it. The truth deep down Vodyanoy - Large golden fish, dreams of the seas and corals, dangerous adventures and the fulfillment of any reasonable desires, from a trough to the pillars of the nobility. An incorrigible romantic under difficult living conditions, he believes in scarlet sails, has the vivid imagination of an oyster and the intellectual potential of a dolphin. The merman is modest, sociable, shy, nervous, when they do not understand his sublime impulses to help his neighbor stay afloat, he gets offended and hides under a snag for a long time. The soul of evil spirits is delicate and vulnerable, but in the swamp not a single creature appreciates this. Do not pass by bodies of water with bad intentions; it is dangerous for a pure-hearted Vodyanoi to get on your nerves with dirty thoughts. However, Vodyanoy prefers to avoid collisions and flow around obstacles rather than fight them. Always swims in the depths and looks to the root, they willingly reach out to Vodyanoy for advice, sometimes they drown in it.

A funny humorous horoscope of who is what evil spirit according to your zodiac sign. An excellent and rather large portion of positivity. Astrological humor :) Want to know

What kind of evil spirit are you according to your zodiac sign?

Then let's read...

Serpent Gorynych - Aries (March 21 - April 20) The unrelenting energy of the ruling planet, Mars, influences the poor animal with such force that everyone around him runs around with burnt holes and smells of burning. Therefore, his undying care and attention, like himself, is difficult not to notice. He burns with all parts of speech honestly and straightforwardly, but it would be better to remain silent.

The Serpent Gorynych is impulsive, he should count to thirty and think carefully with each of his heads before flying and creating, destroying everything to the ground. He fails to try on someone else’s skin; not a single skin can fit such a large-scale personality. Therefore, this is crawling, flying, sleeping and flame-throwing self-confidence, exorbitant pride and the ultimate truth.

An ardent supporter of polite dictatorship and tactfully imposing his own opinion with targeted fire, but will not be the first to get into a fight. Each barrel contains a massive plug that seeks to control the owner of the barrel, the drink, and the barrel.

Thinks globally, on a grand scale, greatly exaggerating facts. If you are sick all over, then three at once; if you have eaten one knight with the appetite, you swear that you have eaten a dozen. He doesn’t blush, because the green one sacredly believes every word he says. What else can a naive, gullible, noble reptile believe in our cruel times? It is true that the Serpent Gorynych grovels with dignity, devotion, of his own free will, and only before the humiliated and insulted. For this they pay him, usually with black ingratitude, trying to step on his tail and chop off all three heads at once. The evil spirits shine with acting talent, pretending to be dead so that the rushing crowd can arrange a festive volcanic eruption.

Brownie – Taurus (April 21 – May 21) If you have a Brownie in your apartment, don’t despair, consider yourself very lucky, you bought a Taurus, and a Golden one, at a low price. Take a deep breath and don’t breathe anymore, think about material things, don’t ask yourself the stupid question every day: “Where did the money go?” When money appears in the house, it is immediately stored in a reliable bank, which you cannot get to without a good reason or petition.

It’s better to think about something spiritual, for example, about the soul, because Domovoy, although caring and practical, is an evil spirit, and a hectic life awaits you. The brownie is jealous, stubborn, selfish, unyielding in disputes, so it is better to silently agree to everything. The situation is especially unenviable when you moved in with your Domovoy samovar, but the previous residents did not take their Domovoy, and you do not have an address to express everything you think about them. You will have to live in hell for some time.

The house will become unbearably hot, you will be accused of all mortal sins, beating, pricking, cutting household items will fly around, you will be tormented by insomnia and otherworldly dark voices that tediously find out who is boss in the house. If you thought this concerned you, relax and take your mind off things.

When communicating with Domovoy on business matters, for example, you cannot find something missing from its usual place, stand in the corner of the room and say loudly: “Domovoy, Domovoy, play and play and give it back!” The phrase will have to be repeated three hundred and thirty-three times, the brownie is a brake on principle.

Goblin - Gemini (May 22 - June 21) Wildly changeable nature, shampoo and conditioner in one bottle. Three minutes ago, Leshy gave you a headache and gave you heat in the land of coal, which was not how they stood, whistled, picked mushrooms, and now it carefully blows coolness, like an air conditioner. What if you started sweating while you were sorting things out with him? Because in order to sort things out with Leshy, you need angelic patience, a sense of humor and a lot of free time.

To listen to Leshy, everyone except him has arms, legs, and heads growing from the wrong place. You’ll have to turn your skin inside out, change your right shoe for a left one, your left one for a right one, and guiltily walk away on business so that Leshy will spare you and not talk about twelve hours a day on any freely given topic. Don’t sit on a tree stump, don’t eat the pie - he’ll talk too much, confuse you, and choke on the pie.

The goblin has three gifts: the gift of speech, the gift of deeds and the gift of tediousness, and he gives them away freely. Ruled by the fleet-footed Mercury, Leshy is as mobile as mercury, running around, flickering around, peddling a useless decoction of freshly dug moss. Better than him, no evil spirits can clutter up and quickly turn a normal, spacious forest into a slum. The goblin does not lie, but plays with his imagination, does not confuse his tracks, but jokes, does not plot, but has fun, is not late, but lingers. Therefore, he is an excellent politician, an intriguer and a talented critic of everyone and everything, but, like Vodyanoy, he is not appreciated in his native forest.

Kikimora – Cancer (June 22 – July 22) Emotional, sentimental, dreamy, sensitive, affectionate and good-natured evil spirits. A dual, contradictory nature, she loves change and variety, she wants to be with women, then with girls, either to be a domestic, dependent Kikimora, or a wild-free, swamp Kikimora. Having quarreled with Vodyanoy, she runs to Domovoy, offended by Domovoy, returns to Vodyanoy, torn between home and swamp, as a rule, unhappy and misunderstood in her personal life.

He has the gift of foresight; if you get drunk from the hoof, it means you’ll become a little goat; if you foolishly go drown yourself in a swamp, it means you’re not all at home. In any case, you will need an ambulance to help Kikimora. She will scream at you mentally, put a hundred leeches on you, pour cold water on you, smear you in healing mud, wrap you in mud and put you under a bush to recover.

Kikimora is selfless, knows how to keep secrets, you can trust her with a gold coin while you lie down under a bush. She will bury it, and by morning you will have a whole tree strewn with gold. If suddenly the tree does not grow, and Kikimora has forgotten in which field of fools she buried the coin, do not despair, the main thing is not the result, but the care and attention shown. Kikimora is a faithful and devoted friend; if you fall into her claws, you are doomed. Now for you and your children up to the seventh generation they will think one thing, say another and do a third. It won’t be boring, it won’t seem too small, because Kikimora has indomitable energy and a rich imagination.

Cat Bayun – Leo (July 23 – August 23) The king of beasts, who retired to a dubious rest, fell into childhood and returned to his roots. He goes to the right - he starts a song, to the left - he tells a fairy tale, he does it masterfully with great charisma, even if he has neither hearing nor voice. It can lull you to sleep, even if it’s not the time, not the place, and you weren’t going to sleep.

You will fall asleep - you will fall asleep forever, but you will see colorful dreams, as Cat Bayun goes to the right - the song starts, to the left... Posturing and boasting are in the blood of Cat Bayun, a primitive hut on chicken legs will turn into a Melodramatic One Actor Theater, if a grateful viewer “appeared, not got dusty."

Endowed with intelligence and magnetism, but often suffers from amnesia: “I am not me, and the kittens are not mine, where I was, whom I finished off with my intellect, magnetized tightly - I don’t remember.” Generous and noble: “I forgive everyone to whom I owe!” Loves to take care of, especially the weak: mouse, bunny, hamster, bird, fish. He takes care of him for a long time, carefully, with interest, and can then mercifully release him into the wild if he has had enough of playing.

You should take vigilant care of it - feed it with sour cream, fresh meat, drink cream, stroke its fur, comb out fleas, otherwise it will wither and refuse to be the meaning of your life. Make no mistake, Cat Bayun is a wild animal, no matter how you feed him, he keeps looking into the forest. A stubborn, arrogant and damn smart predator, if he needs to get that sausage over there, will hunt until the sausage is surrendered to the mercy of the winner. If Cat Bayun suddenly flared up, it’s their own fault; the soft sofa where he’s used to lying is too dusty, and his lordly inclinations require respectful and careful attitude.

Baba Yaga – Virgo (August 24 – September 23) In fact, this is Vasilisa the Wise, tired of the bustle and disillusioned with the human race, which she knows as flaky. A misanthrope and a cynic, a retired eminence grise who secluded himself in the wilderness for cunning weaving of beaded intrigues. Peacefully brews potions, dries fly agarics for the winter, so that on occasion he can treat his neighbor who has wandered into the forest.

A closed nature, overly cautious, boring and demanding, she will check seven times why you came, and only once will she cut off your tail right up to the ears, because she does not recognize any compromises, you are torturing the business or doing nothing, there is no middle ground, “after hard plowing lie on the stove, eat rolls” does not work as an argument.

Evil spirits are fair, corrosive and meticulous, read bad thoughts, understand nasty things at a glance, and express themselves adequately in response. A weak strategist, but a strong tactician, is able to motivate him to send him to hell by handing him a small ball and pointing in the direction with a broom. Baba Yaga’s remarks often hurt, her actions are shocking, her ruthlessness and coldness offend good fellows, but her help is as effective as “dead” + “living” water when you have already been chopped into cabbage.

The evil spirits are hardworking, wasteful, economical and thrifty, but gambling, and “if they are in the mood” they can waste their accumulated funds by playing preference with the Nightingale the Robber. Yaga has an ideal organization of work in her hut, potions are arranged in the correct order, spiders weave webs in strictly designated corners, the cat shits exclusively where it has to, the mice line up and run in a clear sequence like pigs, the flies fly along the intended trajectory. Baba Yaga is taciturn, reserved, but curious, and conducts inquiries with passion over trifles. Carefully! Anything you confuse in your testimony will be used against you.

Mara – Libra (September 24 – October 23) A ghost lives in a medieval castle in thick fog, especially in the morning. A mysterious, cloudy creature, where it will go - it doesn’t know what it will wear - it hasn’t chosen with whom - it’s unknown, why - it hasn’t come up with an idea, most likely it won’t go anywhere at all, because it needs to get up, drag itself, carefully weigh all the pros and cons. against". Without analyzing the situation, which she herself will muddy to the limit, Mara will not lift a finger, will not move her ear, will not rustle her shroud. You can lure evil spirits only “out of creepy interest.” A supporter of the beliefs: why run when you can stand, why stand when you can sit, and why sit when you can lie down.

The slow, ever-doubting evil spirits cannot choose whether to appear in the form of a hunched old woman in black, or to loom as a young woman in white, or to amuse adults at noon, or to frighten little children at midnight. It’s impossible to combine all the pleasures together, hence the eternal discord with the surrounding reality, because any evil spirits are scary in their image, and Mara has been in light thoughts and leisurely searches for herself for many centuries. It is no coincidence that evil spirits are personified with death by suffocation; just go shopping with it, and you will either strangle it or exhaust yourself.

To be or not to be in this suit is a matter of life, death and your nerves of steel. Mara is an extremely noisy and annoying ghost, arriving at midnight, rattling her chains until six o’clock in the morning, vigorously discussing with you the touching and funny story of “how she came to such a life after death,” even if you are silent, yawning and unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep. But Mara is not so much your nightmare as a villainous fate incarnate, sheer confusion and slight clouding of reason. He can get you from the other world and tactlessly, but affectionately, blow your brains out. Don’t worry, during the day the evil spirits will not bother you, they are neither visible nor heard when it comes to everyday, dreary work.

Mermaid – Scorpio (October 24 – November 22). If you are determined to swim, prepare for the worst. Cultivate willpower, be patient, learn to breathe evenly, buy waterproof earplugs and white rubber slippers, suddenly a Mermaid will meet on your path in life. Practice swimming on land first, because you can see mermaids even on the way to the bathroom, then water procedures are canceled for the near future. The “Navel of the Earth” is washed first and for as long as it considers necessary.

Evil spirits know exactly what SHE wants and she absolutely doesn’t give a damn about what YOU want. The mermaid will sit on a pebble in the middle of the pond and comb her wondrous hair with a wonderful comb for a loooong time, even if she has a short hedgehog on her head. And you should hang out like an enthusiastic idol on the shore in slippers, with a towel at the ready, without breathing, so that no circles in the water interfere with the process. If you interfere, the Rusalka will drown you in a whirlpool of emotions, beat you to death with a comb and drag you to the bottom to build a crystal palace under a snag.

The nature is complex, mysterious, emotional, rushing from one extreme to another, now sitting in a lake, now climbing into a bottle on an oak tree, now singing sweetly, now screaming with a fire siren, now an angel, now the devil knows what. Out of love for you, she is capable of giving her voice to a witch, and will immediately turn you into sea foam, because she is so changeable and impulsive. She can be forgiven, she has an internal conflict between the sublime and the base: the top want to bring their unearthly beauty to people, and the bottom has low self-esteem.

The mermaid is independent, disobedient, willful, escapes from any net, evil spirits can be manipulated, but carefully, with tight velor gloves. Put more pressure on pity, the Mermaid, somewhere very deep in her soul, is kind and sympathetic.

Dashing One-Eyed – Sagittarius – (November 23 – December 21). In fact, it's Dashing Two-Eyed, but if you wake it up when you haven't had enough sleep, it will start shooting you madly. Evil spirits will grab a bow, arrows, a pillow that comes to hand, carefully take aim, squinting your eyes... it does everything carefully and accurately... you will remember this beautiful one-eyed face for the rest of your short life, leaving an admonition for posterity: DO NOT WAKE UP! It was about the child Likho that they said: “Seven nannies have a child without an eye.” It grew up, the nannies fell under the dashing natural selection, but the evil spirits retained their restlessness, cheerfulness and energy, as well as their eyelessness.

Dashing is a complete idealist and incurable romantic, he believes in a bright future, in love at first sight, in friendship at second sight, in divorce and a maiden name at third. Stepping on the same rake, she stubbornly turns a blind eye to the human vices of scattering utensils everywhere, so she proudly walks through life with a black eye and scars on her rake-wounded heart. If you are eager to find out the whole truth about yourself, without fear of an arrow in the ass, a pillow in the ears, or an onion in the eye, go to Likh and ask.

Insightful, observant, frank, it will express personal opinion with the directness, tact and inevitability of an armored train flying towards you without brakes. Evil spirits intensely and passionately crave adventure in their lives. vivid impressions and new sensations, so she is carried and carried... to where it smells dangerous, curious and delicious.

Kashchei the Immortal - Capricorn (December 22 - January 20). The nature is integral, stubborn, ambitious, fireproof, waterproof, bulletproof and strong-willed. It’s about him that they tenderly say behind his back, “You show off, you’ll erase the figs, you little goat,” but in his eyes, sternly, “the salt of the Earth,” which is fair, it’s not sugar.

The only evil spirit not prone to obesity, but don’t risk calling it a walking soup set, it forgives offense if only you, a young eagle, are sitting in a damp dungeon and rattling your chains on your last breath. The leader and strategist takes full responsibility for the gold obtained in the struggle, over which he voluntarily withers.

Values ​​material values ​​“just like that,” in a chest, and not for comfort. You can always cry into his shinbone, he is a pessimist, he will sympathize so much with your grief, radiculitis and a bunch of dental problems that you will immediately understand that it will be worse. Jealous, but restrained, he solves the problem of his headache radically - with your guillotine.

He loves solitude with Vasilisa the Beautiful in the kitchen and with a dozen Ivanov-Tsareviches in the dungeon, because it is more fun to grumble, philosophize, be witty and appreciate everything beautiful in a pleasant company. A maniac and a gambler in everything, he is extremely patient, he can wait and catch up forever, he has time. Prefers to wear a casual suit that is soft, meek, white, fluffy, don’t be fooled, the bunny suit hides a duck, an egg, an iron character.

Nightingale the Robber - Aquarius (January 21 - February 18). Lazy, friendly, irresponsible evil spirits, prefers to sit on the branches and constantly whistle at you. The nature is airy, flutters through life, pours water into its mill, successfully spinning the wheel of fortune. He knows very well what, to whom and when to whistle with a dashing brave whistle so that the victim’s ears are blocked, she loses orientation in space, gives up her horse, throws down her weapon and blows in different directions.

Most often, the Nightingale the Robber chooses the creative professions of the pen and the axe. The evil spirits are charming to the point of trembling in the knees, optimistic, sociable, pouring out like a nightingale, so you are tormented by vague doubts, maybe this is not a highwayman, but Robin Hood, who abandoned the comforts of home in order to give freedom and freedom to an unsuspecting traveler.

Nightingale the Robber is inquisitive and compassionate, he will carefully check how far you have been blown by the wind, how many arms and legs you have broken, how much food and uneaten food you have left in your knapsack. Evil spirits are generously gifted by nature, but they do not have time to develop their numerous talents, everything goes to waste.

Creative, but in an eternal search, she easily builds castles in the air, and easily destroys them in front of an astonished public. The Nightingale Robber can be shot, but it is impossible to force him to act contrary to his wishes, even if he realizes the gravity of the consequences of his whistle. A hooligan bird can be caught, imprisoned in a cage, and even a whistling tooth knocked out, but it will still find something to whistle and express itself in an original way.

Water - Pisces (February 19 - March 20) If you sit in a deep puddle, you are rapidly sucked in, you begin to perish and gurgle indignantly, but suddenly something pale, green, determined appears, which pulls you like a hippopotamus, patriotically praising its native puddle, do not doubt - in front of you is Vodyanoy. He loves his swamp so much that he prefers not to crawl out of it. The truth is, deep down in his soul, the Vodyanoy is a Large Golden Fish, dreams of the seas and corals, dangerous adventures and the fulfillment of any reasonable desires, from a trough to the pillars of the nobility.

An incorrigible romantic under difficult living conditions, he believes in scarlet sails, has the vivid imagination of an oyster and the intellectual potential of a dolphin. The merman is modest, sociable, shy, nervous, when they do not understand his sublime impulses to help his neighbor stay afloat, he gets offended and hides under a snag for a long time.

The soul of evil spirits is delicate and vulnerable, but in the swamp not a single creature appreciates this. Do not pass by bodies of water with bad intentions; it is dangerous for a pure-hearted Vodyanoi to get on your nerves with dirty thoughts. However, Vodyanoy prefers to avoid collisions and flow around obstacles rather than fight them.

Always swims in the depths and looks to the root, they willingly reach out to Vodyanoy for advice, sometimes they drown in it. Evil spirits willingly, suffer a lot and often, are ready to sacrifice themselves and their time, this gives their life meaning and brings variety to their boring everyday life. Vodyanoy - The Swamp King, like any ruler, is thoughtful, lonely, significant and burdened.

Who is the evil spirit by zodiac sign? Interesting?! Go for it!

Wildly changeable nature, shampoo and conditioner in one bottle. Three minutes ago, Leshy gave you a headache and gave you heat in the land of coal, which was not how they stood, whistled, picked mushrooms, and now it carefully blows coolness, like an air conditioner. What if you started sweating while you were sorting things out with him? Because in order to sort things out with Leshy, you need angelic patience, a sense of humor and a lot of free time. To listen to Leshy, everyone except him has arms, legs, and heads growing from the wrong place. You will have to turn your skin inside out, exchange your right shoe for your left, your left for your right, and guiltily back away from your business so that Leshy will spare you and not talk about twelve hours a day on any freely given topic. Don’t sit on a tree stump, don’t eat the pie - he’ll talk too much, make you confused, and choke on the pie. The goblin has three gifts: the gift of speech, the gift of deeds and the gift of tediousness, and gives them away for free. Ruled by the fleet-footed Mercury, Leshy is as mobile as mercury, running around, flickering around, peddling a useless decoction of freshly dug moss. Better than him, no evil spirits can clutter up and quickly turn a normal, spacious forest into a slum. The goblin does not lie, but plays with his imagination, does not confuse his tracks, but jokes, does not plot, but has fun, is not late, but lingers. Therefore, he is an excellent politician, an intriguer and a talented critic of everyone and everything, but, like Vodyanoy, he is not appreciated in his native forest.

Emotional, sentimental, dreamy, sensitive, affectionate and good-natured evil spirits. A dual, contradictory nature, she loves change and variety, she wants to be with women, then with girls, either to be a domestic, dependent Kikimora, or a wild-free, swamp Kikimora. Having quarreled with Vodyanoy, she runs to Domovoy, offended by Domovoy, returns to Vodyanoy, torn between home and swamp, as a rule, unhappy and misunderstood in her personal life. He has the gift of foresight; if you get drunk from a hoof, it means you’ll become a little goat; if you foolishly go drown yourself in a swamp, it means you’re not all at home. In any case, you will need an ambulance to help Kikimora. She will scream at you mentally, put a hundred leeches on you, pour cold water on you, smear you in healing mud, wrap you in mud and put you under a bush to recover. Kikimora is selfless, knows how to keep secrets, you can trust her with a gold coin while you lie down under a bush. She will bury it, and by morning you will have a whole tree covered in gold. If suddenly the tree does not grow, and Kikimora has forgotten in which field of fools she buried the coin, do not despair, the main thing is not the result, but the care and attention shown. Kikimora is a faithful and devoted friend; if you fall into her claws, you are doomed.

The king of beasts, who retired to a dubious rest, fell into childhood and returned to his roots. He goes to the right - he starts a song, to the left - he tells a fairy tale, he does it masterfully with great charisma, even if he has neither hearing nor voice. It can lull you to sleep, even if it’s not the time, not the place, and you weren’t going to sleep. If you fall asleep, you will fall asleep forever, but you will see colorful dreams, like the Cat Bayun goes to the right - the song starts, to the left... Endowed with intelligence and magnetism, but often suffers from amnesia: “I am not me, and the kittens are not mine, where I was, whom I finished off with my intellect, I magnetized it tightly - I don’t remember.” Generous and noble: “I forgive everyone to whom I owe!” Loves to take care of, especially the weak: mouse, bunny, hamster, bird, fish. He takes care of him for a long time, carefully, with interest, and can then mercifully release him into the wild if he has had enough of playing. You should take vigilant care of him - feed him sour cream, fresh meat, drink cream, stroke his fur, comb out fleas, otherwise he will wither and refuse to be your reason for life. Make no mistake, Cat Bayun is a wild animal, no matter how you feed him, he always looks into the forest. A stubborn, arrogant and damn smart predator, if he needs to get that sausage over there, will hunt until the sausage is surrendered to the mercy of the winner.

In fact, this is Vasilisa the Wise, tired of the bustle and disillusioned with the human race, which she knows as flaky. A misanthrope and a cynic, a retired eminence grise who secluded himself in the wilderness for cunning weaving of beaded intrigues. Peacefully brews potions, dries fly agarics for the winter, so that on occasion he can treat his neighbor who has wandered into the forest. A closed nature, overly cautious, boring and demanding, she will check seven times why you came, and only once will she cut off your tail right up to the ears, because she does not accept any compromises, you are torturing the matter or doing nothing, there is no middle ground, “after hard plowing lie on the stove, eat rolls” does not work as an argument. Evil spirits are fair, corrosive and meticulous, read bad thoughts, understand nasty things at a glance, and express themselves adequately in response. A weak strategist, but a strong tactician, is able to motivate him to send him to hell by handing him a small ball and pointing in the direction with a broom. Baba Yaga’s remarks often hurt, her actions shock, her ruthlessness and coldness offend good fellows, but her help is as effective as “dead” + “living” water when you have already been chopped into cabbage. Evil spirits are hardworking, wasteful, economical and thrifty, but gambling, and “if they’re in the mood” they can waste their accumulated funds by playing preference with the Nightingale the Robber. In Yaga’s hut there is an ideal organization of work, potions are arranged in the correct order, spiders weave webs in strictly designated corners, the cat shits exclusively where necessary, mice line up and run in a clear sequence like pigs, flies fly along the intended trajectory. Baba Yaga is taciturn, reserved, but curious, and conducts inquiries with passion over trifles. Carefully! Anything you mix up in your testimony will be used against you.

A ghost lives in a medieval castle in thick fog, especially in the morning. A mysterious, cloudy creature, where it will go - it doesn’t know what it will wear - it hasn’t chosen with whom - it’s unknown, why - it hasn’t come up with an idea, most likely it won’t go anywhere at all, because it needs to get up, drag itself, carefully weigh all the pros and cons. against". Without analyzing the situation, which she herself will muddy to the limit, Mara will not lift a finger, will not move her ear, will not rustle her shroud. You can lure evil spirits only “out of creepy interest.” A supporter of the beliefs: why run when you can stand, why stand when you can sit, and why sit when you can lie down. It is no coincidence that evil spirits are personified with death by suffocation; just go shopping with it, and you will either strangle it or exhaust yourself. To be or not to be in this suit is a matter of life, death and your nerves of steel. Mara is an extremely noisy and annoying ghost, arriving at midnight, rattling her chains until six o’clock in the morning, vigorously discussing with you the touching and funny story of “how she came to such a life after death,” even if you are silent, yawning and unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep. But Mara is not so much your nightmare as a villainous fate incarnate, sheer confusion and slight clouding of reason. He can get you from the other world and tactlessly, but affectionately, blow your brains out. Don’t worry, during the day the evil spirits will not bother you, they are neither visible nor heard when it comes to everyday, dreary work.

If you are determined to swim, prepare for the worst. Cultivate willpower, be patient, learn to breathe evenly, buy waterproof earplugs and white rubber slippers, suddenly a Mermaid will meet on your path in life. The mermaid will sit on a pebble in the middle of a pond and comb her wondrous hair with a wonderful comb for a loooong time, even if she has a short crew cut on her head. And you should hang out like an enthusiastic idol on the shore in slippers, with a towel at the ready, without breathing, so that no circles in the water interfere with the process. If you interfere, the Rusalka will drown you in a whirlpool of emotions, beat you to death with a comb and drag you to the bottom to build a crystal palace under a snag. The nature is complex, mysterious, emotional, rushing from one extreme to another, now sitting in a lake, now climbing into a bottle on an oak tree, now singing sweetly, now screaming with a fire siren, now an angel, now God knows what. Out of love for you, she is capable of giving her voice to a witch, and will immediately turn you into sea foam, because she is so changeable and impulsive. She can be forgiven, she has an internal conflict between the sublime and the base: the top want to bring their unearthly beauty to people, and the bottom has low self-esteem. The mermaid is independent, disobedient, willful, escapes from any net, evil spirits can be manipulated, but carefully, with tight velor gloves. Put more pressure on pity, the Mermaid, somewhere very deep in her soul, is kind and sympathetic.

In fact, it's Dashing Two-Eyed, but if you wake it up when you haven't had enough sleep, it will start shooting you madly. The evil spirits will grab a bow, arrows, a pillow that comes to hand, carefully take aim, squinting your eyes... it does everything carefully and accurately... you will remember this beautiful one-eyed face for the rest of your short life, leaving an admonition for posterity: DO NOT WAKE UP! It was about the child Likho that they said: “Seven nannies have a child without an eye.” It grew up, the nannies fell under the dashing natural selection, but the evil spirits retained their restlessness, cheerfulness and energy, as well as their eyelessness. Dashing is a complete idealist and incurable romantic, he believes in a bright future, in love at first sight, in friendship at second sight, in divorce and a maiden name at third. Stepping on the same rake, he stubbornly turns a blind eye to human vices of scattering utensils everywhere, so he proudly walks through life with a black eye and scars on his rake-wounded heart. If you are eager to find out the whole truth about yourself, without fear of an arrow in the ass, a pillow in the ears, or an onion in the eye, go to Likh and ask.

The nature is integral, stubborn, ambitious, fireproof, waterproof, bulletproof and strong-willed. It’s about him that they tenderly say behind his back, “You show off, you’ll erase the figs, you little goat,” but in his eyes, sternly, “the salt of the Earth,” which is fair, it’s not sugar. The only evil spirit not prone to obesity, but don’t risk calling it a walking soup set, it forgives offense if only you, a young eagle, are sitting in a damp dungeon and rattling your chains on your last breath. The leader and strategist takes full responsibility for the gold obtained in the struggle, over which he voluntarily withers. Values ​​material values ​​“just like that,” in a chest, and not for comfort. You can always cry into his shinbone, he is a pessimist, he will sympathize so much with your grief, radiculitis and a bunch of dental problems that you will immediately understand that it will be worse. Jealous, but restrained, he solves the problem of his headache radically - with your guillotine. He loves solitude with Vasilisa the Beautiful in the kitchen and with a dozen Ivanov-Tsareviches in the dungeon, because it is more fun to grumble, philosophize, be witty and appreciate everything beautiful in a pleasant company. A maniac and a gambler in everything, he is extremely patient, he can wait and catch up forever, he has time. Prefers to wear a casual suit that is soft, meek, white, fluffy, don’t be fooled, the bunny suit hides a duck, an egg, an iron character.

Lazy, friendly, irresponsible evil spirits, prefers to sit on the branches and constantly whistle at you. The nature is airy, flutters through life, pours water into its mill, successfully spinning the wheel of fortune. He knows very well what, to whom and when to whistle with a dashing brave whistle so that the victim’s ears are blocked, she loses orientation in space, gives up her horse, throws down her weapon and blows in different directions. Most often, the Nightingale the Robber chooses the creative professions of the pen and the axe. The evil spirits are charming to the point of trembling in the knees, optimistic, sociable, pouring out like a nightingale, so you are tormented by vague doubts, maybe this is not a highwayman, but Robin Hood, who abandoned the comforts of home in order to give freedom and freedom to an unsuspecting traveler. Nightingale the Robber is inquisitive and compassionate, he will carefully check how far you have been blown by the wind, how many arms and legs you have broken, how much food and uneaten food you have left in your knapsack. Evil spirits are generously gifted by nature, but they do not have time to develop their numerous talents, everything goes to waste. Creative, but in an eternal search, she easily builds castles in the air, and easily destroys them in front of the amazed public.

If you sit down in a deep puddle, you are rapidly sucked in, you begin to perish and gurgle indignantly, but suddenly something pale, green, determined appears, which pulls you like a hippopotamus, patriotically praising its native puddle, do not doubt - in front of you is Vodyanoy. He loves his swamp so much that he prefers not to crawl out of it. The truth is, deep down in his soul, the Vodyanoy is a Large Golden Fish, dreams of the seas and corals, dangerous adventures and the fulfillment of any reasonable desires, from a trough to the pillars of the nobility. An incorrigible romantic under difficult living conditions, he believes in scarlet sails, has the vivid imagination of an oyster and the intellectual potential of a dolphin. The merman is modest, sociable, shy, nervous, when they do not understand his sublime impulses to help his neighbor stay afloat, he gets offended and hides under a snag for a long time. The soul of evil spirits is delicate and vulnerable, but in the swamp not a single creature appreciates this. Do not pass by bodies of water with bad intentions; it is dangerous for a pure-hearted Vodyanoi to get on your nerves with dirty thoughts. However, Vodyanoy prefers to avoid collisions and flow around obstacles rather than fight them. Always swims in the depths and looks to the root, they willingly reach out to Vodyanoy for advice, sometimes they drown in it. Enter title text

The unrelenting energy of the ruling planet, Mars, influences the poor animal with such force that everyone around him runs around with burnt holes and smells of burning. Therefore, his undying care and attention, like himself, is difficult not to notice. He burns with all parts of speech honestly and straightforwardly, but it would be better to remain silent. The Serpent Gorynych is impulsive, he should count to thirty and think carefully with each of his heads before flying and creating, destroying everything to the ground. He cannot try on someone else’s skin; not a single skin can fit such a large-scale personality. Therefore, this is crawling, flying, sleeping and flame-throwing self-confidence, exorbitant pride and the ultimate truth. An ardent supporter of polite dictatorship and tactfully imposing his own opinion with targeted fire, but will not be the first to get into a fight. Each barrel contains a massive plug that seeks to control the owner of the barrel, the drink, and the barrel. Thinks globally, on a grand scale, greatly exaggerating facts. If you are sick all over, then three at once; if you have eaten one knight with the appetite, you swear that you have eaten a dozen.

If you have a Brownie in your apartment, don’t despair, consider yourself very lucky, you bought a Taurus, and a Golden one, for cheap. Take a deep breath and don’t breathe anymore, think about material things, don’t ask yourself the stupid question every day: “Where did the money go?” When money appears in the house, it is immediately stored in a reliable bank, which you cannot get to without a good reason or petition. It’s better to think about something spiritual, for example, about the soul, because Domovoy, although caring and practical, is an evil spirit, and a hectic life awaits you. The brownie is jealous, stubborn, selfish, unyielding in disputes, so it is better to silently agree to everything. The situation is especially unenviable when you moved in with your Domovoy samovar, but the previous residents did not take their Domovoy, and you do not have an address to express everything you think about them. You will have to live in hell for some time. The house will become unbearably hot, you will be accused of all mortal sins, beating, pricking, cutting household items will fly around, you will be tormented by insomnia and otherworldly dark voices that tediously find out who is boss in the house. If you thought this was affecting you, relax and take the piss out of your ears.
Author Yulia Shapkina

A funny humorous horoscope of who is what evil spirit according to your zodiac sign. An excellent and rather large portion of positivity.

SERPENT GORYNYCH – Aries (March 21 – April 20)

The unrelenting energy of the ruling planet, Mars, influences the poor animal with such force that everyone around him runs around with burnt holes and smells of burning. Therefore, his undying care and attention, like himself, is difficult not to notice. He burns with all parts of speech honestly and straightforwardly, but it would be better to remain silent.

The Serpent Gorynych is impulsive, he should count to thirty and think carefully with each of his heads before flying and creating, destroying everything to the ground. He cannot try on someone else’s skin; not a single skin can fit such a large-scale personality. Therefore, this is crawling, flying, sleeping and flame-throwing self-confidence, exorbitant pride and the ultimate truth.

An ardent supporter of polite dictatorship and tactfully imposing his own opinion with targeted fire, but will not be the first to get into a fight. Each barrel contains a massive plug that seeks to control the owner of the barrel, the drink, and the barrel. Thinks globally, on a grand scale, greatly exaggerating facts. If you are sick all over, then three at once; if you have eaten one knight with the appetite, you swear that you have eaten a dozen.

DOMOVOY – Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

If you have a Brownie in your apartment, don’t despair, consider yourself very lucky, you bought a Taurus for cheap, and a Golden one at that. Take a deep breath and don’t breathe anymore, think about material things, don’t ask yourself the stupid question every day: “Where did the money go?” When money appears in the house, it is immediately stored in a reliable bank, which you cannot get to without a good reason or petition. It’s better to think about something spiritual, for example, about the soul, because Domovoy, although caring and practical, is an evil spirit, and a restless life awaits you.

The brownie is jealous, stubborn, selfish, unyielding in disputes, so it is better to silently agree to everything. The situation is especially unenviable when you moved in with your Domovoy samovar, but the previous residents did not take their Domovoy, and you do not have an address to express everything you think about them. You will have to live in hell for some time. The house will become unbearably hot, you will be accused of all mortal sins, beating, pricking, cutting household items will fly around, you will be tormented by insomnia and otherworldly dark voices that tediously find out who is boss in the house. If you thought that this concerns you, relax and take the noodles off your ears.

GOBBER – Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

Wildly changeable nature, shampoo and conditioner in one bottle. Three minutes ago, Leshy gave you a headache and gave you heat in the land of coal, which was not how they stood, whistled, picked mushrooms, and now it carefully blows coolness, like an air conditioner. What if you started sweating while you were sorting things out with him? Because in order to sort things out with Leshy, you need angelic patience, a sense of humor and a lot of free time. To listen to Leshy, everyone except him has arms, legs, and heads growing from the wrong place. You will have to turn your skin inside out, change your right shoe for a left one, your left one for a right one, and guiltily back away from your business so that Leshy will spare you and not talk about twelve hours a day on any freely given topic. Don’t sit on a tree stump, don’t eat the pie - he’ll talk too much, make you confused, and choke on the pie.

The goblin has three gifts: the gift of speech, the gift of deeds and the gift of tediousness, and gives them away for free. Ruled by the fleet-footed Mercury, Leshy is as mobile as mercury, running around, flickering around, peddling a useless decoction of freshly dug moss. Better than him, no evil spirits can clutter up and quickly turn a normal, spacious forest into a slum. The goblin does not lie, but plays with his imagination, does not confuse his tracks, but jokes, does not plot, but has fun, is not late, but lingers. Therefore, he is an excellent politician, an intriguer and a talented critic of everyone and everything, but, like Vodyanoy, he is not appreciated in his native forest.

KIKIMORA – Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Emotional, sentimental, dreamy, sensitive, affectionate and good-natured evil spirits. A dual, contradictory nature, she loves change and variety, she wants to be with women, then with girls, either to be a domestic, dependent Kikimora, or a wild-free, swamp Kikimora. Having quarreled with Vodyanoy, she runs to Domovoy, offended by Domovoy, returns to Vodyanoy, torn between home and swamp, as a rule, unhappy and misunderstood in her personal life.

He has the gift of foresight; if you drink from a hoof, it means you will become a little goat; if you foolishly try to drown yourself in a swamp, it means you are not at home. In any case, you will need an ambulance to help Kikimora. She will scream at you mentally, put a hundred leeches on you, pour cold water on you, smear you in healing mud, wrap you in mud and put you under a bush to recover.

Kikimora is selfless, knows how to keep secrets, you can trust her with a gold coin while you lie down under a bush. She will bury it, and by morning you will have a whole tree strewn with gold. If suddenly the tree does not grow, and Kikimora has forgotten in which field of fools she buried the coin, do not despair, the main thing is not the result, but the care and attention shown. Kikimora is a faithful and devoted friend; if you fall into her claws, you are doomed.

CAT BAYUN – Leo (July 23 – August 23)

The king of beasts, who retired to a dubious rest, fell into childhood and returned to his roots. He goes to the right - he starts a song, to the left - he tells a fairy tale, he does it masterfully with great charisma, even if he has neither hearing nor voice. It can lull you to sleep, even if it’s not the time, not the place, and you weren’t going to sleep. If you fall asleep, you will fall asleep forever, but you will see colorful dreams, like Cat Bayun goes to the right - the song starts, to the left...

Endowed with intelligence and magnetism, but often suffers from amnesia: “I am not I, and the kittens are not mine, where I was, whom I finished off with my intellect, magnetized tightly - I don’t remember.” Generous and noble: “I forgive everyone to whom I owe!” Loves to take care of, especially the weak: mouse, bunny, hamster, bird, fish. He takes care of him for a long time, carefully, with interest, and can then mercifully release him into the wild if he has had enough of playing. You should take vigilant care of him - feed him sour cream, fresh meat, drink cream, stroke his fur, comb out fleas, otherwise he will wither and refuse to be your reason for life. Make no mistake, Cat Bayun is a wild animal, no matter how you feed him, he always looks into the forest. A stubborn, arrogant and damn smart predator, if he needs to get that sausage over there, will hunt until the sausage is surrendered to the mercy of the winner.

BABA YAGA – Virgo (August 24 – September 23)

In fact, this is Vasilisa the Wise, tired of the bustle and disillusioned with the human race, which she knows as flaky. A misanthrope and a cynic, a retired eminence grise who secluded himself in the wilderness for cunning weaving of beaded intrigues. Peacefully brews potions, dries fly agarics for the winter, so that on occasion he can treat his neighbor who has wandered into the forest.

A closed nature, overly cautious, boring and demanding, she will check seven times why you came, and only once will she cut off your tail right up to the ears, because she does not accept any compromises, you are torturing the matter or doing nothing, there is no middle ground, “after hard plowing lie on the stove, eat rolls” does not work as an argument. Evil spirits are fair, corrosive and meticulous, read bad thoughts, understand nasty things at a glance, and express themselves adequately in response. A weak strategist, but a strong tactician, is able to motivate him to send him to hell by handing him a small ball and pointing in the direction with a broom.

Baba Yaga’s remarks often hurt, her actions shock, her ruthlessness and coldness offend good fellows, but her help is as effective as “dead” + “living” water when you have already been chopped into cabbage. Evil spirits are hardworking, wasteful, economical and thrifty, but gambling, and “if they’re in the mood” they can waste their accumulated funds by playing preference with the Nightingale the Robber.

In Yaga’s hut there is an ideal organization of work, potions are arranged in the correct order, spiders weave webs in strictly designated corners, the cat shits exclusively where necessary, mice line up and run in a clear sequence like pigs, flies fly along the intended trajectory. Baba Yaga is taciturn, reserved, but curious, and conducts inquiries with passion over trifles. Carefully! Anything you confuse in your testimony will be used against you.

MARA – Libra (September 24 – October 23)

A ghost lives in a medieval castle in thick fog, especially in the morning. A mysterious, cloudy creature, where it will go - it doesn’t know what it will wear - it hasn’t chosen with whom - it’s unknown, why - it hasn’t come up with an idea, most likely it won’t go anywhere at all, because it needs to get up, drag itself, carefully weigh all the pros and cons. against". Without analyzing the situation, which she herself will muddy to the limit, Mara will not lift a finger, will not move her ear, will not rustle her shroud. You can lure evil spirits only “out of creepy interest.”

A supporter of the beliefs: why run when you can stand, why stand when you can sit, and why sit when you can lie down. It is no coincidence that evil spirits are personified with death by suffocation; just go shopping with it, and you will either strangle it or exhaust yourself. To be or not to be in this suit is a matter of life, death and your nerves of steel.

Mara is an extremely noisy and annoying ghost, arriving at midnight, rattling her chains until six o’clock in the morning, vigorously discussing with you the touching and funny story of “how she came to such a life after death,” even if you are silent, yawning and unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep. But Mara is not so much your nightmare as a villainous fate incarnate, sheer confusion and slight clouding of reason. He can get you from the other world and tactlessly, but affectionately, blow your brains out. Don’t worry, during the day the evil spirits will not bother you, they are neither visible nor heard when it comes to everyday, dreary work.

RUSALKA – Scorpio (October 24 – November 22)

If you are determined to swim, prepare for the worst. Cultivate willpower, be patient, learn to breathe evenly, buy waterproof earplugs and white rubber slippers, suddenly a Mermaid will meet on your path in life. The mermaid will sit on a pebble in the middle of a pond and comb her wondrous hair with a wonderful comb for a loooong time, even if she has a short crew cut on her head. And you should hang out like an enthusiastic idol on the shore in slippers, with a towel at the ready, without breathing, so that no circles in the water interfere with the process. If you interfere, the Rusalka will drown you in a whirlpool of emotions, beat you to death with a comb and drag you to the bottom to build a crystal palace under a snag.

The nature is complex, mysterious, emotional, rushing from one extreme to another, now sitting in a lake, now climbing into a bottle on an oak tree, now singing sweetly, now screaming with a fire siren, now an angel, now God knows what. Out of love for you, she is capable of giving her voice to a witch, and will immediately turn you into sea foam, because she is so changeable and impulsive. She can be forgiven, she has an internal conflict between the sublime and the base: the top want to bring their unearthly beauty to people, and the bottom has low self-esteem.

The mermaid is independent, disobedient, willful, escapes from any net, evil spirits can be manipulated, but carefully, with tight velor gloves. Put more pressure on pity, the Mermaid, somewhere very deep in her soul, is kind and sympathetic.

FASTING ONE-EYED – Sagittarius – (November 23 – December 21)

In fact, it's Dashing Two-Eyed, but if you wake it up when you haven't had enough sleep, it will start shooting you madly. Evil spirits will grab a bow, arrows, a pillow that comes to hand, carefully aim, squinting their eyes... they do everything carefully and carefully... You will remember this beautiful one-eyed face for the rest of your short life, leaving an admonition for posterity: DO NOT WAKE UP! It was about the child Likho that they said: “Seven nannies have a child without an eye.” It grew up, the nannies fell under the dashing natural selection, but the evil spirits retained their restlessness, cheerfulness and energy, as well as their eyelessness.

Dashing is a complete idealist and incurable romantic, he believes in a bright future, in love at first sight, in friendship at second sight, in divorce and a maiden name at third. Stepping on the same rake, he stubbornly turns a blind eye to human vices of scattering utensils everywhere, so he proudly walks through life with a black eye and scars on his rake-wounded heart. If you are eager to find out the whole truth about yourself, without fear of an arrow in the ass, a pillow in the ears, or an onion in the eye, go to Likh and ask.

KASCHEY THE IMMORTAL – Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

The nature is integral, stubborn, ambitious, fireproof, waterproof, bulletproof and strong-willed. It’s about him that they tenderly say behind his back, “You show off, you’ll erase the figs, you little goat,” but in his eyes, sternly, “the salt of the Earth,” which is fair, it’s not sugar. The only evil spirit not inclined to be overweight, but don’t risk calling it a walking soup set, it forgives offense if only you, a young eagle, are sitting in a damp dungeon and rattling your chains on your last breath.

The leader and strategist takes full responsibility for the gold obtained in the struggle, over which he voluntarily withers. Values ​​material values ​​“just like that,” in a chest, and not for comfort. You can always cry into his shinbone, he is a pessimist, he will sympathize so much with your grief, radiculitis and a bunch of dental problems that you will immediately understand that it will be worse. Jealous, but restrained, he solves the problem of his headache radically - with your guillotine.

He loves solitude with Vasilisa the Beautiful in the kitchen and with a dozen Ivanov-Tsareviches in the dungeon, because it is more fun to grumble, philosophize, be witty and appreciate everything beautiful in a pleasant company. A maniac and a gambler in everything, he is extremely patient, he can wait and catch up forever, he has time. Prefers to wear a casual suit that is soft, meek, white, fluffy, don’t be fooled, the bunny suit hides a duck, an egg, an iron character.

Nightingale the Robber – Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)

Lazy, friendly, irresponsible evil spirits, prefers to sit on the branches and constantly whistle at you. The nature is airy, flutters through life, pours water into its mill, successfully spinning the wheel of fortune. He knows very well what, to whom and when to whistle with a dashing brave whistle so that the victim’s ears are blocked, she loses orientation in space, gives up her horse, throws down her weapon and blows in different directions. Most often, the Nightingale the Robber chooses the creative professions of the pen and the axe.

The evil spirits are charming to the point of trembling in the knees, optimistic, sociable, pouring out like a nightingale, so you are tormented by vague doubts, maybe this is not a highwayman, but Robin Hood, who abandoned the comforts of home in order to give freedom and freedom to an unsuspecting traveler. Nightingale the Robber is inquisitive and compassionate, he will carefully check how far you have been blown by the wind, how many arms and legs you have broken, how much food and unfinished food you have left in your knapsack.

Evil spirits are generously gifted by nature, but they do not have time to develop their numerous talents, everything goes to waste. Creative, but in an eternal search, she easily builds castles in the air, and easily destroys them in front of the amazed public.

AQUARIUS – Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

If you sit in a deep puddle, you are rapidly sucked in, you begin to perish and gurgle indignantly, but suddenly something pale, green, determined appears, which pulls you like a hippopotamus, patriotically praising its native puddle, do not doubt - in front of you is Vodyanoy.

He loves his swamp so much that he prefers not to crawl out of it. The truth is, deep down in his soul, the Vodyanoy is a Large Golden Fish, dreams of the seas and corals, dangerous adventures and the fulfillment of any reasonable desires, from a trough to the pillars of the nobility. An incorrigible romantic under difficult living conditions, he believes in scarlet sails, has the vivid imagination of an oyster and the intellectual potential of a dolphin.

The merman is modest, sociable, shy, nervous, when they do not understand his sublime impulses to help his neighbor stay afloat, he gets offended and hides under a snag for a long time. The soul of evil spirits is delicate and vulnerable, but in the swamp not a single creature appreciates this. Do not pass by bodies of water with bad intentions; it is dangerous for a pure-hearted Vodyanoi to get on your nerves with dirty thoughts. However, Vodyanoy prefers to avoid collisions and flow around obstacles rather than fight them. Always swims in the depths and looks to the root, they willingly reach out to Vodyanoy for advice, sometimes they drown in it.

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We all have some dark side of ourselves that we are not used to showing to others, or even to ourselves. But it turns out that representatives of different zodiac signs have something in common in how exactly this dark side manifests itself.

Introducing your ironic horoscope - although perhaps not so ironic. Every joke, as we know, contains only a fraction of a joke. Let's go.

Aries is called the Serpent Gorynych. Why is that? Yes, because he literally incinerates with his own gaze. Impulsive, fire-breathing, furious. All this is about the Serpent Gorynych, and all this is about Aries when he is unbalanced.

The shadow side of Taurus is the Brownie. This is the one who acts stubbornly in relation to his own material wealth and everyday life. It seems that inconspicuous, but no one can guide you as deftly on his own territory as Domovoy. He is also jealous and extremely unyielding.

Gemini, when they are too talkative, are terribly similar to Leshy. He is also prone to tire you with his hours-long tales, confuse thoughts (both his own and those of others), deceive, cajole and persuade people to do stupid things.

Kikimora - this is the kind of evil spirit that the shadow side of Cancer is associated with. Mired in their own romantic dreams that have nothing to do with reality, Cancers, like Kikimora, spend a lot of time shaking their snot on their fist in some swamp.

The dark side of Leo is that wild magnetism, thanks to which they hang noodles on the ears of those around them. They can beat around the bush for a long time, telling tall tales (mainly about themselves) in order to improve your ideas about him. So what will you be left with when the smoke clears?

This is Baba Yaga. Boring, cynical, scrupulous. She is also an incorrigible misanthrope: she hates people so much that she has gone far away so that the human spirit cannot be heard.

Libra is Mara. This evil spirit lives in medieval castles, sighs languidly at night so that the walls shake, which scares away all the living. If Mara wants something from you, she will take her heart out until she gets her way. But she won’t do anything herself – you will make her wishes come true.

The mermaid is cunning, languid, enveloping. She will seduce and deceive (almost like Mara, but much more insidious), it is better not to fight on her territory. In her native abyss she feels like a fish in water (what an irony!), so when communicating with her, do not swim beyond the buoys - in every sense.

The shadow side of Sagittarius is his exceptional love of truth and willingness to kill anyone who is not too truthful. Therefore, the evil spirits of Sagittarius are Dashing One-Eyed. It’s just as obstinate and unpredictable – it’s better not to wake it up again.

Capricorns are the real Kashchei Immortals. Extremely strong-willed, they languish over their own property and don’t give anything to anyone. Stubborn, bony, greedy. Yeah.

The shadow side of any Aquarius is his penchant for robbery. Reckless, daring, and all so airy - a real Nightingale the Robber. It’s better not to get in his way, and if he does, relax and have fun.

Pisces at its worst is a Waterman. Boring, sentimental, sitting in his swamp and complaining. There's nothing to add.