No matter how much people want it, everything has its beginning and its end, and human life is no exception. The great creation and gift of the Lord are given as an earthly path, the end of which, unfortunately, we await. When a person dies and his body is interred, certain days his relatives must perform special commemoration ceremonies, namely on the third, ninth and fortieth days.
During this period, according to church laws, the soul of the deceased completes its journey on Earth, and in order for it to be able to do this easily and naturally, it is necessary to adhere to the traditions established over time, among which the most important is the ninth day. So what does 9 days after death mean? And why are they so important?
How to count 9 days from the date of death
After death, the soul spends 9 days looking for its way to new world, because physically the person no longer exists. During this period, it is important for the relatives of the deceased not only to be faithful to the traditions of the church, but to try through pain and suffering to let go of the soul of their loved one, otherwise it will not be able to find peace for a long time (or never).
After all, if she is kept in this world by something unfinished, not done, unsaid, and she can no longer put an end to it, then it is her relatives who need to take care of her peace of mind. And the ninth day - best time for this.
The ninth day is very important for the soul of a deceased person, but the third and fortieth days are no less important, as are the beginning and the end.” heavenly path" And it is on the correct actions of loved ones that the soul’s path to eternity depends.
Soul after death: 3, 9, 40 days
After death, a person’s soul finds its “ new house”, but this does not mean that she forgets the former, as well as the people living in it. This invisible force becomes your faith and hope on the path of life in gratitude for the peace you received and the acquisition of eternal life.
Day three
- Funerals for the deceased on this day are performed in honor of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
- For the first two days, the soul, together with the Angel who accompanies it, walks through its favorite places, remembering its joys and sorrows, sits near its home, like a bird that, having built a nest, is forced to leave it forever.
- On the third day, the Lord allows her to ascend to heaven to worship him and appear before the face of the Just One.
Ninth day
- This is a time of remembrance in honor of the nine angelic ranks, who are the servants of the King of Heaven and our defenders at the court of God and can ask for mercy.
- On the fourth day, the soul, together with the Angel, enters the gates of heaven and can see all the beauty there. She spends six days like this. During this time, she forgets all the sorrow that she felt while in the body, and if she was sinful, she begins to reproach herself.
- On the 9th day, the Lord commands the Angels to bring the soul to him for worship. And already there, with fear and trembling, she will appear before the throne of the Almighty. And it is on this day that the church prays for God’s mercy towards the deceased.
Fortieth day
- After the second ascension of the soul to the Lord, the Angels take it to hell, where it can see the cruel torment of sinners who did not want to repent.
- And on the 40th day the soul ascends to God for the third time, and then its further fate is decided - according to its earthly affairs, it is assigned a place to stay until the Last Judgment.
- It is at this hour that the prayers of family and friends will be very necessary, since with their help the sins of the deceased are atoned for, which gives him the right to go to heaven.
It is also worth remembering the anniversary of a person’s death. On this day he should also be commemorated in church. If this is not possible, then a heartfelt commemoration by family, friends and relatives will be enough. For a believer, this is a birthday for a new eternal life.
9 days after death in Orthodoxy
Devyatiny after death is the very day of remembrance of the dead, because the body no earlier than this day turns to dust, and only the soul remains. The Church prays to God to number the deceased among the nine ranks of angels, who, in turn, will ask the Lord to accept the newly deceased, forgive him all his sins and grant new life next to them.
In Orthodoxy, this day is rightfully considered the main day among the rituals of repose. A person's soul in heaven is the work of his family on earth, and it must be done honestly and faithfully.
9 days after death: traditions
On this day, the relatives of the deceased attend church, where it is necessary to offer prayers for the repose of the soul. At home they cook kutya:
- Wheat seeds are boiled and mixed with something sweet, often sugar or honey.
- The dish should be quite sweet and pleasant to the taste.
The meaning of this tradition is very old:
- Seeds are life itself, because when planted in the ground, they give rise to a new plant. It is believed that this is how future resurrection occurs.
- And sugar and honey symbolize the faith of the living that the soul will find a sweet life in the afterlife.
What happens to the soul 9 days after death
The path of a person’s soul after death, what is it? The question is interesting and important for any believer. This path is laid out even during earthly life, since a person after death comes to God with all his “baggage,” which contains all his joys, troubles, fears, aspirations and hopes.
And when on the ninth day the soul appears before the Almighty, this “burden” no longer seems as unbearable to it as during life, but very important, because looking at it, the Lord decides the further path, at the end of which we await the long-awaited resurrection. Therefore, on the 9th day, remembering the deceased, relatives should behave calmly and humbly, quietly remembering only the best things about the deceased.
Knowing what happens on the 9th day after death, now in the most terrible moments of life, when a loved one dies, think about whether his soul will be able to find eternal peace after numerous earthly sufferings. And maybe you, with your prayers, and not your tears, will help her with this.
After all, the prayers of loved ones, like no other, are capable of great miracles. And then the answer to the question “Why are 9 days celebrated after death” will seem to you not just a beautiful legend, but will mean something more.
May the Lord protect you!
Funeral service for 9 days after death, what is prepared and how to conduct it? For Orthodox Christians, commemoration of the dead occurs on the ninth and fortieth days after death. Why?
The clergy answer this question in detail. According to church canons, the time from the moment of repose directly to the ninth is called the design of the “body of eternity.” During this period, the deceased is taken to “special places” in heaven. And in the world of the living, relatives and clergy conduct various funeral ceremonies.
What happens in the first 9 days after death?
In these very first 9 days after death the deceased can observe the people around them, see and hear them. Thus, the soul forever says goodbye to life in this world, to life on earth, gradually losing these opportunities and thereby moving away from the world of the living. Therefore, it is no coincidence that memorial services are ordered on the 3rd, 9th and 40th days. These days represent special milestones that every soul passes when leaving our world.
After the nine-day mark, the soul goes to hell in order to see the torment of unrepentant sinners. As a rule, the soul does not yet know what kind of fate is in store for it, and the terrible torment that will appear before its eyes will have to shake it and make it fear its fate. But not every soul is given such a chance. Some go straight to hell without worshiping God, which occurs on the third day. These souls delayed the ordeal.
Ordeals are posts where souls are detained by demons, or they are also called the princes of ordeals. There are twenty such posts. Demons gather at each one and expose to the soul all the sins it has committed. At the same time, the soul does not remain completely defenseless.
Guardian angels are always nearby in these difficult moments.
The Guardian Angel represents to the demons the good deeds of the soul that are opposite to sins. For example, generous assistance can be pitted against accusations of greed. Blessed Theodora, whose authority deserves attention, testifies that most often people get stuck in ordeals because of adultery. Because this topic is so personal and shameful, people are often sensitive about having to talk about it in confession.
And this sin remains hidden, thereby erasing the entire confession. Therefore, demons win the war for their lives. No matter what actions you commit, no matter how ashamed you are of them (this also applies intimate life) it is necessary to confess to the priest in full, otherwise the entire confession will not be counted.
If the soul does not go through all the ordeals, demons take it straight to hell. There she remains until doomsday. Relatives and friends of the deceased can soften the fate of his soul with prayers, so it is better to order a commemoration in the church.
On the third day, the soul that was able to go through the ordeal goes through the worship of God.
Then she is shown all the beauties of paradise, in comparison with which earthly joys simply fade. The happiness that becomes accessible to people in heaven, incomparable to anything. That's what the saints say.
Pure and beautiful nature, as it was before the fall of man, the fulfillment of all desires, righteous people who are all together, everything you can dream of - this is paradise. In hell there is none of this and all people are alone.
On the ninth day, the soul is brought down to hell as a spectator.
Having been in paradise and seen the righteous there, a person realizes that he deserves hell more than heaven because of his sins, so the soul awaits with great trepidation the period of 9 days after death. Prayer is very important here, with which loved ones help the soul. It is important to acquire a close connection with the soul of the deceased so that the verdict is rendered in favor of the Holy Place. You should order a service in the church so that your loved one has support from you.
Also at this time, you can think about how to arrange the burial site, for example, choose a granite monument.
9 days after death - commemoration of loved ones
First 9 days after death very difficult for the soul of a deceased person, so help your loved ones, order a memorial in the church, and it will be easier and calmer for you for your loved one and the soul of the deceased will be calm and peaceful. Not only church prayer is important, but also your personal one. Ask your father for help. He will help you master special rules in reading the psalter.
The custom of remembering loved ones at meals has been known since ancient times. Often, a wake is an occasion for relatives to get together, eat deliciously, and discuss business. In fact, people gather at the funeral table for a reason. Orthodox Christians should pray for those loved ones who have left the earthly world. Before starting your meal, you must mandatory lithium This is a small rite of requiem, it can be performed by a layman. You can read Psalm 90 and Our Father.
Kutia is the first dish, which is actually eaten at the funeral. It is usually prepared from boiled wheat or rice grains with honey and raisins. The grain is a symbol of resurrection, and honey is the sweetness that the righteous enjoy in paradise. Kutya should be consecrated during the funeral service with a special rite; if this is not possible, it should be sprinkled with holy water.
The desire of the owners to provide everyone who came to the funeral with a tasty treat is understandable, but it does not exempt them from observing the fasts established by the Church. On Wednesday, Friday and, accordingly, during long fasts, eat only permitted food. If during Lent a funeral service falls on a weekday, it should be moved to Saturday or Sunday.
The pagan custom of drinking at graves has nothing to do with Orthodox customs. Every Christian knows that what brings joy to our deceased loved ones is prayer for them and the piety we bring, and not the amount of alcohol we drink.
At home, during funeral meal, after the funeral service, a small glass of wine is allowed, which will be accompanied by a kind word addressed to the deceased. Do not forget that this is a completely optional thing at a wake. But other alcohol should be avoided altogether, as it will distract from the wake itself.
In Orthodoxy, the first to be seated at the funeral table are the poor and the poor, old women and children. You can also distribute the deceased’s belongings and clothes. You can hear many stories about cases when the charity of relatives helped the deceased, and received confirmation of this from the afterlife. Therefore, you can help the deceased by giving your savings to alms in order to benefit the soul in the afterlife.
A loss loved one can change your worldview, help you gain the desire to become real Orthodox Christian, take your very first step on the path to God. Start now to cleanse your soul, to confess, so that in the afterlife good deeds will prevail over sins.
Funeral 40 days: 7 rules that must be followed when organizing, 10 dishes that can be prepared, 6 prayers that are read for 9 and 40 days, 7 memorial dates in Christianity.
People who do not believe in an afterlife consider death to be the final chord of human existence. Like, he died - and that’s it, nothing was left of him except his grave. And about the immortal soul - this is all nonsense. But even among inveterate atheists, rarely does anyone decide to break funeral traditions.
40 days of commemoration is an opportunity to remember the deceased, drink a glass for the repose of his soul, light a candle in the church, and gather with relatives.
But this date is far from the only one that needs to be dedicated to the deceased.
People say that a person is alive as long as the memory of him is alive.
In the first year, the deceased is remembered quite often not only by grief-stricken loved ones, but also by everyone who takes part in the wake.
Funeral rites are mandatory for Orthodox Christians. They are carried out according to specific rules that you need to know in order to provide peace and grace to the soul of your loved one.
Conventionally, any commemoration can be divided into 2 parts:
- Church. This includes a memorial service ordered by relatives in the church and a series of prayers read by those close to the deceased. Unchurched people are afraid of making a mistake, ordering something wrong, doing something wrong. Don’t worry, because any temple will tell you the right decision.
- Gastronomic. That is, exactly what we mean when we say the word “wake”: a dinner to which people from close circle the deceased so that they remember his soul.
Another important point– visit to the cemetery. At a wake, you go “to visit” the deceased in order to:
- demonstrate to him that you have not forgotten about him;
- tidy up the grave;
- bring fresh flowers;
- put a treat for the poor, who will eat it with gratitude for the remembrance of the soul.
In the first year there are quite a lot of funerals:
- After the burial. It is on the day of the funeral that the first memorial dinner is held, to which everyone who paid their last respects to the deceased in the cemetery is usually invited.
- Breakfast. On the morning after the burial, the family goes to the graveyard to take breakfast to the “deceased” and remember him near the grave. No one except the closest relatives is invited to this action.
- 3 days. This date is important specifically for the family of the deceased. The main stages of the commemoration: visiting the burial and family dinner.
- 9 days. It is believed that for up to 9 days the human soul lives in the “booths of paradise”, but not yet in heaven. Funeral services are held precisely on the ninth day, because that is how many “angelic ranks” there are.
- 40 days. According to Christian canons, it was on the 40th day that Jesus Christ ascended to heaven - which is why the date is so important for Christians. Funeral services for the “fortieth birthday” are a prerequisite.
- Six months. The date of the funeral is not considered mandatory, and therefore is missed by many. If you want to remember your loved one on this day, visit the cemetery, order a memorial service in the church and sit modestly with your family, remembering the good things about the deceased.
- 1 year. The last major memorial number. On this day, they not only order a memorial prayer service, but also organize a large dinner in honor of the deceased. Ideally, you should invite everyone who was at the funeral, but if finances do not allow, then you can get by with a smaller number of “guests.”
After a year has passed from the date of death, you can remember your loved one whenever you want (for example, on the day of his birth and death, on other dates that are important to you), ordering memorial services and handing out candy for the repose of the soul. There is no longer any need to organize large feasts.
The most important memorial dates, in addition to the funeral date and 1 year, are the 9th and 40th days. We’ll talk about them in more detail later, because many traditions have been forgotten.
9 days: funeral according to the rules
This is the first of three important memorial dates. Eat certain rules and traditions to adhere to.
What does the soul expect from the wake on the 9th day?
According to church dogmas, exactly 9 days are given to a person after death to complete his earthly journey, say goodbye to family and friends whom he had to leave behind and prepare to meet the Lord.
9 is a sacred number in Christianity, because that is how many ranks of angels exist. It is the angels who must bring the spirit of the deceased on the 9th day after death to the Judgment of the Lord, so that her fate is decided: to remain in heaven or go down to hell if her sins are too serious.
But the verdict has not yet been pronounced, and from the 9th to the 40th day the soul will face ordeal. That is why relatives should be especially careful during this period, so as not to aggravate the sins of the deceased with their rash actions. And it's not just about proper organization wake.
Of course, you will grieve for your loved one, but it is important that your grief is not so inconsolable that your soul cannot leave this world at all.
Funeral for 9 days according to church canons
Relatives are required to express their grief for the deceased not with endless tears, but with prayers and good deeds.
Required on the day of the funeral:
- Book a memorial service at the church.
- Hold a service on this day to pray in church for the deceased and light a candle that will light the way for him during the days of ordeal.
- Give sweets and money to the poor.
You can make a donation on behalf of the deceased to those in need: orphanage or nursing home, hospital, homeless shelter, etc.
Be sure to visit the grave on the 9th day to remove dried flowers from the day of the funeral, light a candle, and pray for the soul of the deceased.
If possible, order a litiya - the priest will come and pray at the burial for your loved one. But it is also permissible to read the prayers yourself at the wake.
In addition to the traditional “Our Father,” you can read the following prayers:
God of spirits and all flesh, having trampled down death and abolished the devil, and given life to Thy world! O Lord, give rest to the souls of your departed servants: holy patriarchs, Your Eminence metropolitans, archbishops and bishops, who served You in the priestly, ecclesiastical and monastic ranks; the creators of this holy temple, the Orthodox forefathers, fathers, brothers and sisters, lying here and everywhere; leaders and warriors who laid down their lives for the faith and fatherland, the faithful, who were killed in internecine warfare, drowned, burned, frozen to death, torn to pieces by beasts, suddenly died without repentance and did not have time to reconcile with the Church and with their enemies; in the frenzy of the mind of the suicidal, those for whom we were commanded and asked to pray, for whom there is no one to pray and the faithful, Christian burials deprived of (the name of the rivers) in a bright place, in a green place, in a place of peace, from where illness, sadness and sighing can escape.
Every sin committed by them in word or deed or thought, as a good Lover of mankind, God forgives, as if there is no man who will live and not sin. For You are the only one besides sin, Your righteousness is truth forever, and Your word is truth. For You are the Resurrection, and the Life and Repose of Your departed servants (the name of the rivers), Christ our God, and to You we send glory with Your beginningless Father, and Your Most Holy, and Good, and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Remember that in prayer it is not so much the words themselves that are important, but sincerity.
40 days of commemoration: everything you need to know about this date
This is the second important date in the tradition of Christian remembrance, which in no case should be ignored if you care about the well-being of the deceased in the next world.
What happens to the soul on the 40th day and does it need a wake?
It is on the 40th day that the soul must hear God’s verdict on where it will be located next: in Heaven or Hell.
It is believed that it is after this time that the soul is completely detached from the body and realizes that it is dead.
40th day – deadline, when the spirit visits its native places to say goodbye to worldly life, things close and dear to the heart.
Relatives and friends should under no circumstances sob and lament heavily on the day of the funeral, so as not to increase the suffering of an already fragile soul, not to tie it forever to the earth, where it would forever wander between the worlds of the living and the dead.
You can often hear stories that it was on the 40th day that the deceased appeared to his relatives in a dream to say goodbye.
And after this period, you should stop feeling his presence nearby. If this did not happen, then somewhere at the wake you made a mistake, did something to tie the soul of the deceased to the earth.
Consult a priest on how to correct the situation.
Church rules for commemoration for 40 days
The deceased himself is no longer able to change anything, is not able to correct any of the mistakes made during life. But his loved ones can facilitate the transition of a loved one to Paradise with the help of a worthy wake on the 40th day.
Order a magpie from the church and give a donation to the temple. Be sure to pray yourself (in church or at home) in your own words or with the texts of special prayers:
Rest, O Lord, the souls of Your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven. Amen.
It would not be a bad idea to renounce some of your sins on the 40th day, for example, drunkenness or adultery, in order to make it easier for the dead to pass to heaven, or to make a monetary donation to some charitable foundation.
On the 40th day, in addition to the funeral at home or in some institution, visit the cemetery to:
- carry flowers;
- light a candle;
- give a treat to the poor (if you don’t meet anyone, place a treat on the grave);
pray; - say goodbye to last time- after all, soon the soul will finally leave the earth.
Funeral for the deceased
Funeral dinner on the 9th and 40th days
An important part memorial day- this is lunch. It is significant, first of all, alive, because more dead Church remembrance and sincere grief of loved ones are important.
Remember that neither on the 9th nor on the 40th day are invitations to the funeral sent out. Those who remember the deceased come and want to honor him with their attention. Therefore, commemoration usually takes place in a narrow circle of friends and relatives.
Here are a number of rules that must be followed when organizing funerals on the 9th and 40th days:
- Don't chase the amount of food. Don’t set yourself the goal of impressing the “guests”, showing them that you have money, or feeding those present to your heart’s content. Such pride is a sin from which it is the deceased who will suffer.
- Look for a post on the calendar. If the wake falls on a church fast on the 40th or 9th day, give up meat - give it up altogether. Several fish dishes are allowed, the rest of the food should be prepared from vegetables based on vegetable oil. If the fast is strict, then dairy products should also be excluded. But even if the wake falls during a period free from food restrictions, do not fill the table with meat. Adhere to a policy of moderation when creating your menu.
- Do not place forks on the funeral table. They symbolize the pitchforks that devils use in hell to torment sinners. The main cutlery is spoons, even for main courses and snacks. To the illiterate who are outraged by the lack of forks at a funeral, you can explain why you do what you do.
- Begin your meal with the Lord's Prayer. Ask everyone present to pray for the memory of a loved one and to bless themselves sign of the cross before starting lunch.
- Speeches in memory of the deceased should be welcomed by relatives. There is no need to force anyone to speak, but you also cannot prevent people from speaking or rush them to finish their speech quickly. Those present gathered not to eat for the week ahead, but to remember the deceased with a kind word.
- Prepare the room where the funeral will take place on the 9th and 40th days. Be sure to include a photo of the deceased with a mourning ribbon. Light a candle or lamp near the image and place a bouquet of flowers. A glass of water, covered with a slice of bread, and cutlery are also placed near the photo so that the deceased eats with everyone else.
- Keep order. If you see someone behaving inappropriately (foul language, laughing, talking loudly), carefully reprimand this uncultured person. If this does not work, ask him to leave, explaining that by his behavior he is increasing your grief. But under no circumstances start scandals at a wake - this is a great sin before people, before God, and before the deceased.
Dishes that can be prepared/ordered for funerals on the 9th and 40th day:
Separately, it is necessary to say about alcohol. The Church does not encourage drunkenness at funerals and believes that you can do without alcohol altogether, but people usually have a different opinion and put wine and/or vodka on the table.
There will be no great sin if you still add alcohol to funeral menu, but make sure that those present drink no more than three glasses, otherwise the wake will turn into a banal drinking party, during which they will forget why they gathered in the first place.
You can control the amount you drink on the 9th and 40th day after the funeral by limiting the number of bottles on the table. Estimate how many people came to the wake and how many bottles of wine/vodka are needed so that everyone drinks only 3 glasses. Hide the excess and do not give in to requests from drunks, such as: “Bring more alcohol. How can one commemorate Mikhalych on dry terms? He’ll be offended!”
40 days - funerals, which are organized only for those closest to you. It is not so much the feast itself that is important, but the church component of the commemoration and the sincerity of your feelings for the deceased.
Funeral words
reflection of grief and pain of loss
The death of loved ones, relatives, and friends is always a sad and tragic event in the life of every person. At such moments, it can be difficult to find the right words to express all the sorrow and pain. How can you say that the deceased was dear? That he was the most wonderful person? State it clearly and clearly best qualities and not to go too far? A funeral speech at a funeral is a text that is pronounced not from a piece of paper, but from the heart.
Funeral speech - sample
First you need to say your name. Not everyone present at a funeral or wake knows you. It should be remembered that long, vague, vague phrases are suitable for political debates, but not for funeral speech. You should speak briefly and to the point. So, examples of speech at a wake:
“I’ll introduce myself for those who don’t know me: my name is (name). We have worked together with (name of deceased) for the past few years and I would like to say a few words in memory of him.
He was a true professional in his field, a Specialist with a capital S. Many of our colleagues, young and not only, learned the basics of their craft from him and often used his advice and help. He was very patient and responsive, he could always listen to everyone who turned to him for support, advise something, help out, and never refused anyone’s requests. He could perfectly lift the spirits of anyone who was upset, confused or depressed about something. The countless funny stories, toasts, jokes and anecdotes he told could amuse anyone. We will all greatly miss him at our dinner gatherings and corporate events, where he invariably shone at the table, lifting our morale. There is no other person like him in our team. And maybe in my memory it will no longer be
We will all miss him greatly. Until the end of his life, he will remain in my memory and the memory of all our colleagues as an example of perseverance, sparkling cheerfulness, activity and professionalism!
Rest in peace, dear colleague!”
“My grandmother was a wonderful person with a difficult but interesting life. She, along with her three younger brothers and sister, were raised by her mother alone during the difficult post-war years. To say that they lived poorly then would be an understatement. She had to endure many difficulties and hardships, but she never lost her optimism and presence of mind, constantly helping her mother and taking care of the younger members of the family. And later, having married her military grandfather, she steadfastly endured all the hardships of service. In any circumstances, she always maintained exemplary order at home and taught all family members to do so. Grandma was sometimes strict, but fair. I am glad that I managed to learn from her neatness and order, the ability to organize my life. And her famous apple pies were simply incomparable, no one else could do anything like them!
I will always remember you, my dear, beloved grandmother! Your warmth, love and care will remain with us forever."
How to choose the right words?
Based on the examples presented above, several basic rules can be identified:
- It is best to address the audience in the introduction. For example: “Dear friends and family of our beloved (name) ....”
- It is necessary to introduce yourself. What does it have to do with not only the name, but also the degree of your acquaintance, relationship: “My name is Alexey, (name) and I have been close friends (colleagues) for many (you can be more specific) years.”
- It would not be amiss to say a few words about your own experiences, about the pain that the announcement of death caused.
- The following words characterize the deceased. Here it is important to remember the old Russian proverb, which perfectly indicates what they say at funerals: “It’s either good or nothing about the dead.”
- In conclusion, condolences are expressed or standard, but still relevant for this funeral words: “May he rest in peace,” “Rest in peace,” and so on.
In general, we note that the speech at the wake differs from the one pronounced directly at the funeral. So, at the moment of farewell it is customary to speak very briefly. Here, words of condolences are mainly spoken to the relatives of the deceased.
The funeral speech on the day of the funeral should under no circumstances be a memorized text. A few words from the heart, imbued with sincere empathy, would be more appropriate. In the first days, the relatives of the deceased are unable to perceive reality. The grief they have suffered is too hard for them, so their feelings should be respected.
Memorial words for 40 days, for an anniversary can be more intense. Here they often remember the best about the deceased. But even after time, one should not remember insults, disagreements and quarrels. If you can’t overcome this in yourself, the best thing to do is to remain silent or limit yourself to a couple of standard phrases.
Funeral poems
It was already indicated above that poetry would be extremely inappropriate at a funeral. A memorial speech for 40 days, 1 year may contain a small poetic inclusion. These could be the words of great poets or lines from an epitaph. Memorial poems for the anniversary of death mostly contain warm words that can be attributed to the personality of the deceased, and to a lesser extent condolences and bitterness. Examples include:
When parents leave
The light in the window fades forever.
Father's house is empty and maybe
I dream much more often.
* * *
We know you can't be brought back
Your deeds are an eternal memory,
And only your pure soul is with us,
You illuminate our life path.
* * *
Sleep, my angel, peacefully and sweetly.
Eternity will take you into its arms.
You held yourself with dignity and steadfastness
Survived these hellish torments.
* * *
On this day full of heartache,
We sympathize with your misfortune,
Our life, unfortunately, is not eternal,
Every day we are getting closer to the line...
Our condolences... Strength of spirit
We wish you at this moment,
May the earth rest in peace to those close to you,
May the Almighty protect you from troubles.
* * *
When you left, the light went dark,
And time suddenly stopped.
And they wanted to live together forever...
Well, why did this all happen?!
* * *
May your sleep be serene
No one will ever disturb you,
Nothing can break it
Oblivion of eternal peace.
* * *
Thank you, dear, for being in the world!
Thank you for loving me.
For all the years that we lived together.
I ask you not to forget me.
* * *
We remember, dear, and mourn,
The wind blows coldly on my heart.
We love you forever,
No one will replace you for us.
* * *
How we loved - only the Gods know.
Only we knew how we suffered.
After all, we went through all the hardships with you,
But we could not step over death...
* * *
In this vicious circle - no matter what -
It will not be possible to find the end and the beginning.
Our role in this world is to come and go.
Who will tell us about the goal, about the meaning of the path?
* * *
There are no, Lord, sins and atrocities
Above Thy mercy!
Slave/slave of the earth and vain desires
Forgive the sins for his/her sorrows!
What was his life like? – Rough sleep.
What is death? - Awakening from terrible dreams.
Woke up, he smiled -
And again, maybe the dream began there.
* * *
You left and it immediately began to snow.
May you have a good time there.
Let him cover himself with a soft white blanket
The land where you are no longer there...
* * *
Without chasing meaningless fame,
Keeping love in your heart,
He left, but managed to leave us
Eternal music bright motive
* * *
This order is unshakable.
The passage of time is eternal.
Let it be quiet and sweet
Your peaceful sleep!
Funeral poems are published in the newspaper as condolences. Words at the wake should not contain ambiguous phrases. Extremely clear and understandable lines for all those present will be the most appropriate and correct.
Funeral toasts
The funeral usually ends with a memorial dinner. While at such a table, you must follow the rules of mourning etiquette. It is not allowed to talk loudly or laugh. You should not interrupt the person making a speech at the wake. Often at the table, speech takes the form of a toast. Funeral toasts at a wake are significantly different from ordinary ones. They do not contain a call for fun, but Once again emphasize the bitterness and pain of loss.
They sit in the next world, in Paradise, souls at the table, talking, drinking, pouring more. One overturned his jug, but it was empty. “That’s it,” he said, “I’ve been forgotten on Earth.” So let’s drink so that the jugs of our departed loved ones do not become empty!
Blessed memory of those who have left us, Let us drink to this now. May our hearts, like granite, preserve the memory of loved ones who have passed away. Let all the good things that happened to them not be buried in a damp grave. As long as we preserve our memories, they will live with us for as long.
Toasts at a wake can be pronounced in poetic form:
The philosopher knew that everything has its time,
Fate cannot be deceived:
The poet has been lonely for centuries -
May the glorious one be completed...
There is no water in the funeral cup!
Let's not grieve:
The midnight star will rise -
We will meet again!
Let it pour from the righteous peaks,
Before the days are gone,
The melody of your soul -
Why be sad about her?
Christian wake
One of the most widespread religions is Orthodoxy. Orthodox funerals differ significantly from secular ones. So, for example, speeches at funerals are practically not spoken for 40 days, 1 year. Christians gather at the table these days and pray together for the soul of the deceased. It is also customary these days to go to church and submit memorial notes, a sample of which can be seen in the church shop.
The wake (9 days) is the next obligatory stage after the burial. Although it originated in the Christian religion, everyone adheres to this tradition. So how to spend a wake for 9 days? What are the features of the ritual?
Memorial service
If the deceased was a Christian, then you definitely need to go to church. It is believed that
at this time the soul can still visit the places of its earthly habitat. She completes the work that a person did not have time to do during his lifetime. He says goodbye to someone, asks for forgiveness from someone. A prayer service held at this time according to all church traditions helps to calm the soul and unite it with God.
It is advisable that the wake (9 days) and relatives begin with an appeal to the Lord. In a short prayer, you should ask the Almighty to forgive all the sins of the deceased and place him in the Kingdom of Heaven. This has always been part of the ritual. In the temple they light candles for the remembrance of the soul. There is a special place for this. If you don’t know, then consult a temple minister. But usually you can determine it yourself. The platform for has a rectangular shape (all others are round). Nearby there is a printed text of the prayer. Don't be lazy, read it.
What do 9 days of commemoration mean?
In Christianity, the path of the soul to the Lord is described in sufficient detail. So, in the first days, the Angels show her what life is like in Paradise. The ninth is the time, so to speak, of the exam. The soul appears before the Lord, who determines it future fate. It is believed that sinners are afraid and tormented, finally realizing how mediocre they are
wasted their energy. The righteous may also suffer from not knowing whether their path in life will be approved by the Lord. Help for the soul of the deceased is extremely necessary during this period. Relatives with their prayers can help her cleanse herself and receive a “pass” to Paradise.
IN Christian traditions The 9-day wake is considered very important, since it is the last duty, the final stage of the earthly existence of the soul. After the Lord assigns her to Heaven or Hell, the living will be practically unable to help her. The clergy say that 9 days is almost a holiday! Because at this time the soul finds its shelter. It is imperative to pray that her stay in that world will be comfortable.
Funeral dinner
A trip to the cemetery is mainly for those closest to you. And those who want to express their respect to the deceased and his family members are invited to see him off modestly. The first, second and compote are prepared. IN
In Christianity, neither all kinds of snacks and salads, nor alcohol are accepted. Traditions with a hundred grams and a piece of bread arose in very difficult times, when there was no other way to relieve stress. Nowadays there is no need to drink alcohol at funerals, and it is not encouraged.
Of the “excesses,” only baking is allowed. So, they usually make pies or buns and serve them to the table. Everything should take place calmly and modestly. This is not an indicator of poverty. Rather, this demonstrates the recognition of the frailty of everything physical before the spiritual. At the table, everyone is given the floor to express their grief, share the confidence that the soul will go to Heaven, and simply remember the person who recently left this world.
Funeral feast
But not everyone has lunch these days. Some people don’t have enough time, others don’t want the extra hassle. The Church does not insist on strict adherence to this particular tradition.
It is quite permissible to replace a shared meal with a treat. What it is? You need to prepare such food that it is appropriate and convenient to serve to people without an invitation to the house, and so hold the funeral for 9 days. What are they giving away? Usually cookies and sweets. The easiest option is to buy what you need in a store. It is recommended to bake pies or cookies yourself. It is believed that by such actions you express greater respect to the deceased. You can distribute what you have prepared at work, in the yard to grandmothers and children.
How to calculate the required period?
People often get confused with this. It is best to contact Father, who will help you figure out the deadlines and tell you on what day to celebrate what. Due to its importance to the soul, you need to know exactly when to hold a wake for 9 days. How to count on your own? The first day is the day the person died. It is from this that we must count. From the moment of death, the soul begins its journey through the Kingdom of Angels. She needs help on the ninth day (and before that). Do not miss any deadlines, even if the death occurred before midnight. The first day is the date of death. The third, ninth and fortieth days are then important. You need to calculate them immediately and write them down so as not to forget. These are the dates that definitely need to be celebrated.
Who is invited to the funeral?
Family members and friends are the people who should definitely participate in the sad meal. They themselves know this. Souls demand to meet and support
each other in grief. But a wake 9 days after death is an event to which people come without an invitation. It is not customary to drive away someone who wanted to take part in it, even if they are complete strangers. The logic is this: the more people pray for the salvation of the soul of the deceased, the easier it is for it to get to Heaven. Therefore, driving someone away is unacceptable, even sinful.
Try to treat as much as possible more people. And if it is not necessary to invite everyone to the funeral dinner, then you can give out sweets to everyone you meet on this day. Strictly speaking, it is not accepted to invite people to the event. People themselves should ask when it will take place (and in general, whether it is planned or not). For convenience, organizers most often take responsibility themselves and call everyone who has expressed a desire to remember the deceased.
Is it necessary to go to the cemetery?
Strictly speaking, a 9-day funeral does not include such a trip in the list of essential events. The Church believes that the graveyard contains mortal remains that have no special significance. Going to church and praying are welcome. But usually people themselves want to visit the final resting place of a dear person. They bring flowers and sweets there. Thus, as it were, a tribute is paid to the deceased. But this is more important for
living than for the deceased.
Under no circumstances should you bring alcohol to the cemetery. This is strictly prohibited by the Church! If you decide that you definitely need to visit the cemetery on this day, then take care of the appropriate clothing. Outfits should be modest and not flashy. The presence of mourning symbols is also desirable. Women tie mourning scarves. Men can wear dark jackets. If it’s hot, black scarves are tied to the left forearm.
How to prepare a house for a funeral?
On this day, lamps are lit and a photograph of the deceased with a mourning ribbon is placed in a prominent place. There is no need to cover mirrors anymore. This is done only while the body is in the house. Naturally, on this day it is not customary to turn on music or watch funny films and programs.
You can place a glass of water and bread in front of the icon as a sign of help to a soul traveling through an as yet unknown world. It is desirable that an atmosphere of severity reign in the house. If you invite people to dinner, then worry about their comfort. Usually carpets are removed from the floor so that you can walk around the house in shoes. You also need to place a small vase or plate near the photograph of the deceased. This is where the money will be put. This is done when a lot of people come, including strangers to the household. They may express a desire to donate some amount to the monument. And giving money to relatives is not always convenient.