Communication is a normal part of every person’s life. With the help of communications, experience and knowledge are transferred, and social needs are satisfied. But in modern world When the number of contacts increases, fear of communication often arises.

Social phobia is the fear of communicative interactions with other people. This ailment falls within the competence of a psychologist and can be successfully treated during classes.

There are these types of fears:

• communication with people;
• contacts with strangers;
• communication with high-ranking people;
• fear of telephone conversations.

The problem of phobia is easier to solve if the root cause of this phenomenon is established. The main factors are the following:

• criticism of significant adults (parents, teachers, bosses);
• ridicule of peers: classmates, friends;
• poor start to conversation;
• poor public performance and more.

The main signs of social phobia are:

• palpitations when communicating;
• trembling, sweating, muscle tension;
• dry mouth, headache and feeling of heat;
• facial redness,
• irregularities in work gastrointestinal tract, stomach ache.

Social phobia greatly interferes with study and work, negatively affects personal life and can even cause divorce. That is why the disease requires urgent overcoming. Moreover, the patient himself should be interested in treatment, since it happens that fear of communication is only a means of attracting attention.

Fear of communicating with people

Communication requires at least two people. If a person communicates daily and works in an office, then he is unlikely to face social phobia.

Communication skills tend to be lost:

1. Categories of people such as housewives, young mothers, people who, for certain reasons, have been without full communication with new people for a long time.
2. For some people, fear of communication may be related to hypertrophied dependence and inflated self-esteem your image. Such people, as a rule, have no friends and avoid communication so that no one can destroy their ideal image. If communication does occur, but such a person is not in the zone of attention or is subjected to jokes and ridicule, then he withdraws into himself for a long time.
3. Insecure people They are also unsociable, but the reason for their fear lies elsewhere. They are afraid of being underestimated and misunderstood. Self-doubt gives rise to isolation, which aggravates the situation, making the sociopath unsociable, withdrawn and aloof even with close relatives. Such people believe that they are owed everything, that they are not given enough attention and love.
4. Young mothers for a long time forced to communicate only with the child. Because of this, they have the idea that they are unfulfilled and unattractive, which gives rise to an inferiority complex. In this case, family relationships are also at risk.

With strangers

Communication with strangers is traumatic for an ordinary person, but for those who have a fear of communication, it may be completely impossible.

A stranger is full of secrets and dangers; he is unpredictable in his reactions and attitude towards what is happening. All this frightens sociopathic individuals, preventing not only the communication process itself, but even acquaintance and the first stages of communication.

With the opposite sex

Communication with the opposite sex has a lot of features and at the same time causes most problems for those who have a fear of communication.

Young men are especially susceptible to this, because the right to take the first step remains with them:

1. Young men are not confident in their attractiveness and are so embarrassed by the opposite sex that they prefer to experience their feelings in silence, suppressing emotions.
2. There is another side to the fear of communicating with the opposite sex - excessive rudeness. Boys are either openly rude to girls, or have several relationships at the same time, trying to prove to their friends that they are cool. In fact, behind such a mask there is a fearful, insecure teenager hiding.

Psychologists believe that fear of communication affects health, causing not only psychological, but also physical discomfort. Various tics, obsessive movements, etc. may appear. This also aggravates the situation and requires deeper psychological work.

Women often suffer from a fear of communicating with men. This feature begins to develop in them in childhood.

Very great importance has the way the girl’s mother treats herself and her child:

• If she considers herself beautiful, adequately evaluates her appearance and loves herself, then the girl is not at risk of sociopathy.
• But if the mother does not love herself and takes it out on the child, humiliating her dignity, saying that she is ugly or not like everyone else, then this is a direct path to the child’s sociopathy at a very early age.

With high-ranking officials

The fear of communicating with superiors at work or with those whom a person considers superior to himself is often revealed: teachers, celebrities, etc.

This fear is easy to overcome, since contacts are usually quite frequent and formal in nature:

1. To overcome fear, you just need to turn to the biographies of such people. In childhood, they were all ordinary boys and girls, so you shouldn’t be afraid of communicating with them. It is necessary to see them as people first, and then status.
2. To defuse the situation, you can directly talk about your feelings. This will not only allow you to have a more sincere conversation and overcome fear, but also gain respect high-ranking official thanks to his courage and openness.

By phone

At work and at home, you need to answer phone calls. Some people are afraid to do this because the phone is also a means of communication between two people.

Sociopathic individuals believe that they have a strange and ugly voice on the phone, that the person on the other end of the line laughs at them, and so on.

This type of social phobia is less dangerous, but also requires work on oneself.

Social phobia in children

Social phobia is considered mental illness, however, in children it can be a consequence of improper upbringing.

Typically, the disease begins in adolescence during puberty: a changing body, voice, and appearance raise many questions in young men and at the same time give rise to complexes.

But the first phenomena that can lead to illness in the future can be identified already at school.

If mild social phobia is considered normal in kindergarten-age children, then school age When a child first encounters the model of a “society of strangers,” social phobia is unacceptable.

New faces offer stricter rules for the child and have a lower level of acceptance of the child for who he is compared to the family circle and kindergarten group.

If the child is unable to adapt to new conditions (and this happens in 50% of cases), then the help of a psychologist is required.

Socially significant situations for a child at school are:

• communication with strangers;
• conversations with teachers, answers at the blackboard;
• carrying out their actions under supervision.

In addition, a shy child over 7 years of age may experience discomfort when eating with new people, which is especially problematic since children often simply refuse to eat.

Approximately 40% of children refuse to go to school at all due to the emergence of strong uncontrollable feelings of anxiety. For this reason, socialization work must begin from the very beginning. early age, attending various events with your child, introducing him to many new people.

The main signs of the development of social phobia are:

• refusal to go to school;
• does not communicate with peers;
• does not come into contact with teachers, psychologist;
• refuses to go to the board;
• At home he is afraid to fall asleep alone.

The normal reaction of parents is to have a conversation and stop a social phobia attack with the phrase: “Pull yourself together, you’re already big.” Threats in this case are unacceptable, since they will only aggravate the situation, and the child will include his parents among the dangerous persons.

How to overcome

Treatment for social anxiety takes time. Usually the fear of communicating with people goes away for six months. During this time, the psychologist struggles with the cause of the phobia, teaches the child to deal with frightening situations, and relaxes him. IN severe cases psychotropic drugs and psychotherapy are prescribed.

There is no need to be afraid of taking medications, since modern medications are not addictive and do not have withdrawal symptoms.

Parents should take active position and contribute in every possible way to the child’s recovery by conducting therapy at home in the form of play methods and fairy tale therapy.

• realize that fear of communication is not at all a sign of a strong personality and ideal self;
• stop “putting labels” on other people;
• choose a job where there is communication with people, albeit moderate;
• do everyday things with maximum communication: friends, colleagues, household members;
• It’s worth defending your opinion, your needs.

In general, the recommendations are quite simple. Only he himself can help a person with social phobia. Otherwise, no therapy will help. There is no need to set clear goals for yourself, as they increase anxiety, but you need to systematically and purposefully work on yourself.

Psychologists have developed a number of tips for people who want to get rid of communication problems:

1. Learn to make eye contact. At first, you can do this on the Internet: communicate on forums, comment on photos. After this, you need to go to the store more often and communicate with sellers while shopping.
2. Master the phone. This method is simpler than real communication, so before moving on to personal interaction, you can try doing it over the phone.
3. Go to real contact . During this period, it is necessary to contact strangers with requests, in stores to agree to the sales assistant asking for help, etc.

Thus, social phobia is a serious problem. Today a person in modern society cannot live without knowing the ways effective communication. That is why overcoming communication problems should be task No. 1 for any person.

Video: A word from a specialist

Video: Training

Do you feel nervous and afraid of communicating with a stranger? Most people are afraid of such communication. This mainly occurs when you communicate with high-ranking people who are self-confident and relaxed in communication. Fear of communication is one of the most common phobias.
If you are a confident conversationalist, then this article is not for you. But if you are familiar with the fear of communication, when the right words simply disappear from your head, then reading this article will benefit you.

Let's look at how you can overcome your fear of communication and become a more confident and interesting interlocutor.

1. It is a big misconception when you disguise your fear of communication as modesty and shyness. These are slightly different things and should not be confused. To succeed in this business, you need to overcome the barriers of modesty and start starting conversations first. It may be superficial conversations about nothing at first, but over time you will be able to have deeper conversations. Understand for yourself that only in this way, overcoming modesty and shyness, can you overcome fear and communicate freely without obstacles.

2. Get rid of the habit of thinking what the other person thinks about you. Very often you can hear the following words: “What might he think of me, that I am too intrusive or that the conversation may seem tedious and boring to him.” But you cannot know exactly what your interlocutor thinks about you. It is not yet possible for humans to read each other's thoughts. And who cares what he thinks about you if he doesn’t voice it anyway. Many people don't bother to think anything about you or others at all. People's heads are filled with many other thoughts and they don't care about you. So, stop thinking during a conversation what your interlocutor is thinking. In fact, you will never know what the other person may really think about you. Immerse your thoughts better in the conversation.

3. If, in order to combat the fear of communication, you have chosen a job where there is a lot of communication with different people, then it’s better to quit that job right away. Believe me, this will not bring you anything useful. Professional communication in business sphere work is not a place where you can practice your communication skills. To do this, you will need a different environment, more natural, conducive to free communication. And with such harsh methods you will simply cause stress in yourself and create even greater fear of communication. Therefore, do not resort to such radical methods, communicate more face-to-face in normal everyday life.

4. Choose simple and natural conditions to overcome the fear of communication. Try to hone your communication skills every day. There are probably many occasions in your everyday life where you can communicate with strangers. Situations and events arise that require you to communicate and find compromises that can only be achieved by communicating more and more often. Use any opportune moment to chat, in the store and at the bank, at the bus stop and in transport, on a trip. But you must have a goal to talk and start a conversation, this will not happen by itself. You need to learn not only how to carry on a conversation when someone starts talking to you, but also how to be the first to have a conversation. It won’t work out right away, but you shouldn’t give up, you need to keep going. The skill of conducting a conversation and communicating freely needs to be honed day after day. Over time, you will be able to communicate with those you want without effort or fear. Such training will teach you the art of real communication and bring it to automaticity.

5. You can easily carry on conversations if you are cheerful. Seriousness and efficiency only scares people away. Joke more, have fun, smile. Fear and tension are very quickly relieved by laughter. As soon as you laugh heartily together, fear and embarrassment will no longer arise.

6. Don't take to heart any conversations that don't go the way you expected. Or you felt like you had a terrible conversation. Even if this is so, then so what? You haven't lost anything, your life goes on. Don’t take this as a mistake and a reason to stop practicing communication. Instead, you should consider past failures in future conversations. This is how they learn. Don't dwell on unpleasant communication experiences. Take it lightly, without much seriousness.

7. And the last recommendation, do not look too closely at this complex. Don't think about it all the time, just live your life to the fullest and exercise in between. Communicate simply and naturally, without thinking that at this moment you are overcoming your fear. Let go of such thoughts during the conversation. Treat this problem itself more simply. This is only at first, you will feel discomfort when communicating with strangers, but after some time you will get used to the new skill.

It is important to understand that all people have certain complexes and weaknesses. Therefore, if your interlocutor is a self-confident person, just remember that he also has his weaknesses. And there is probably an area in which you are more competent. Don't get confused or feel weak in his presence. In fact, your interlocutor is also constrained by new communication and feels the same awkwardness and embarrassment. Therefore, take this into account and start communicating freely and joyfully, enjoying it.

Most people experience discomfort when communicating in unfamiliar company, and fear public speaking sometimes it causes numbness. Episodic manifestations of anxiety do not indicate serious disorders. But if a person constantly worries when he gets into the company of people, we can talk about social anxiety, or social phobia. Shy individuals who had problems in childhood also suffer from fear of people.

What is social anxiety

The danger of social anxiety lies in the fact that a person suffering from this disorder nullifies all communication with people, and psychoactive substances - alcohol, drugs - become his constant companion. Moreover, men are more predisposed to alcoholism.

Signs of social phobia:

• limited social circle;
• fear of social responsibility;
• discomfort from attention, fear of glances and observation;
• panic before public speaking;
• fear of showing dissatisfaction;
• avoidance noisy companies(parties, conventions, concerts);
• nervousness in company, panic attacks.

People with social anxiety disorder worry about what others will think of them, so they try to limit contact, work from home, and do not attend public events.

Social phobia and introversion should not be confused. An introvert does not strive for communication; he is comfortable alone. But he does not experience anxiety in society.

Social phobia in half of the cases manifests itself quite early - at 10-20 years of age. Accompanied by social anxiety, depression, facial flushing stressful situations, sweating, hand trembling, increased heart rate, nausea. Patients with anxiety disorders are helped by cognitive psychology, which includes training and role-playing games. Antidepressants are sometimes prescribed, both prescription and over-the-counter. The drug is selected strictly by a psychiatrist or psychotherapist, since antidepressants have a lot of side effects.

The most common situations cause anxiety in people. Some people are afraid to give a prepared speech in public, some are afraid to talk to a stranger, even on the Internet or by phone, some are afraid to get a job, because they expect refusal in advance. Especially shy people are afraid of direct contact and are afraid to look into the eyes.

How to learn to trust a man

Why do people become afraid of communication?

Fear of people can be associated with both social phobia and character traits. The fear of communicative interaction begins in childhood. If a child was teased for being shy, was not accepted into his company, was offended, he adult life It won't be easy to become confident. Criticism from adults has a significant impact on the formation of personality. The child lives in constant stress and begins to be ashamed of his words and actions.

If a child has considered himself a failure since childhood and finds it difficult to communicate with people, he needs to change the situation. The bullies have grown up, but they still remember that the person was cyberbullied at school. You can move to another city where you have no friends and start life with clean slate. Then you need to make new friends and not dwell on the past. There is no need to be afraid that something will not work out; you can change even after 30 years, and even if you are already over 60.

The fear of communicating with people manifests itself in those who are forced to stay at home for a long time - mothers on maternity leave or pensioners. Isolation leads to loss of communication skills. In this case, you need to leave the house as much as possible, find an interest, so as not to drop out of social life. Yoga classes, interest clubs, and part-time jobs will help.

Those who are unlucky in their personal lives also experience problems. An unpopular person begins to fear relationships with the opposite sex, fears being rejected and misunderstood. If talking is not your thing, you can become a grateful listener. People are so focused on their problems that they need to vent to someone. By becoming your interlocutor's personal psychologist, you can quietly become friends, and over time, count on more. You need to learn to joke, hone your communication skills daily in communicating with random people you meet, and soon you will be able to have casual conversations.

Another common fear is fear of superiors. When someone occupies a higher position, he seems to us to be some kind of unattainable standard. In reality, the boss is the same a common person, with the same problems, he also reports to a superior.

Popular advice given by psychologists: if a person trembles in front of his boss, you can imagine that he is naked. This mental exercise helps relieve anxiety.

Psychopathy signs in men

How to get rid of shyness

People without anxiety disorders experience shyness when interacting with strangers. In a close circle, they may feel anger, irritability, misunderstanding, but not panic. Insecure people place too high demands on themselves, idealize those around them, not noticing their shortcomings.

Tips against fear of people:

When you manage to become an interesting person, it will become clear that people do not shy away from you and you have nothing to be embarrassed or afraid of. There is no need to be afraid to change companies if you feel aggression. Somewhere you will definitely be accepted and understood, because there are no people who are completely different from anyone else. You need to throw away the idea of ​​your exclusivity.

How to deal with anxiety

How to overcome crowd fear

It is easier for a person who is afraid of people to start relationships remotely, gradually moving on to face-to-face communication. When your relationship with your new acquaintance becomes more trusting, you can ask him to introduce you to your friends. This option for establishing communication is much less traumatic compared to the situation when a person finds himself in a completely unfamiliar company.

It's a completely different matter if you have to perform in front of a large audience. Here you become the center of attention and all eyes are on you. Everyone had to speak publicly at least once, for example, to defend their diploma.

What to do if there is public fear:

1. 1. Rehearse in front of the mirror. Monitor the timbre of speech and breathing. Then perform in front of family and friends. Ask to record yourself on camera and analyze how you need to behave and what to work on.
2. 2. Work through a negative scenario. Imagine that the public will perceive you disapprovingly. You should not be afraid of defeats, you need to be prepared for failure. You cannot allow yourself to be humiliated or made excuses and run away with a feeling of shame.
3. 3. Speak convincingly and breathe deeply and calmly. Proper breathing helps you calm down in a stressful situation. Be sure to rehearse your speech several times. It’s better to confidently talk nonsense than to speak to the point, but being embarrassed, blushing and confused in your words.
4. 4. Consider performing in front of a crowd of people as an adventure. You need to imagine that this is a film or a scene. You need to try to look relaxed, even if everything inside is shrinking with fear. The public is charged with confidence and trusts more those who do not shrink and hide their eyes.
5. 5. Don't be afraid to be funny. The problem with many shy people is that they are afraid of looking stupid and ridiculous. You should pay attention to popular bloggers. Many of them sometimes behave stupidly, but radiate confidence - and the public believes them.
6. 6. Don't apologize. Even if it seems that in the voice or appearance something is wrong, you shouldn’t focus on it. The apology looks pathetic. There is no need to be overly polite and ingratiating with the public, but ostentatious rudeness is not the best method of communicating with the audience. There needs to be a balance.
7. 7. Record success. Surely the performance will go well. People treat the speaker favorably or loyally. You need to remember the feeling of confidence and enjoy your success. You can write this down daily in your diary and, in moments of self-doubt, re-read the entry.
8. 8. Take a sedative. To stop worrying, you can take a mild sedative.

If self-hypnosis does not help, you should not delay contacting specialists. Psychology helps overcome social anxiety, namely cognitive behavioral therapy. Through working through bad scenarios, the patient comes to the result - the ability to get acquainted and maintain a conversation.

One way or another, we encounter difficulties in communication quite often. We happen to remain misunderstood, show our incompetence, receive a refusal, experience an awkward pause, or not start a dialogue at all.

This topic will probably never be exhausted. Especially when failures or difficulties are not a temporary phenomenon, but a real difficulty. The fear of communication, which psychologists call social anxiety, can literally paralyze a person when he is among strangers. In this article, we'll look at what keeps social anxiety burning and how to deal with it.

Before you begin to understand the problem itself, you need to focus on some important things without which it is impossible to achieve success. To get rid of social anxiety, you must follow the following principles:

• Responsibility. The main role on this path is given to you. You can read an endless number of articles, find out a lot of opinions, but still not change anything. No psychologist can help you without your participation. Even if you are a very busy person, plan your path to combat social anxiety and move at your own pace. Only personal experience will help you.

• Courage. You need to challenge yourself. Overcoming social anxiety is a series of experiments, tests, attempts. You will need to question your beliefs and fundamentally change your behavior to test your hypotheses. It takes courage. But it's worth it.

• Patience. Patience and more patience. Sometimes things won't work out. You will blush again, will not be able to express your thoughts, and will leave without starting the conversation. The main thing you can do is to accept it as inevitable and not allow such incidents to undermine your confidence and desire to overcome communication difficulties. Patience and perseverance will lead you to your goal.

So, if we break social anxiety down into its components, we discover the processes that support it. By recognizing what fills each of them in your case and breaking the vicious circle, you will get rid of social anxiety.

Ways of thinking that support social anxiety

The vicious circle of thinking in the case of fear of communication is as follows: some situations are assessed as carrying risk, and the feeling of impending danger increases the level of anxiety. For example, you are afraid to meet someone. Just one thought that you will need to approach to a stranger and start a conversation, includes internal dialogue: “What will I say? I'll definitely stutter. He'll think I'm crazy." And you will immediately feel anxiety begin to rise in your throat. The way we think affects the way we feel and vice versa. If you feel yourself shaking, you may think others have noticed it too. And it’s not far from thinking that everyone has dubbed you inadequate or inferior. This cycle of thoughts and feelings can be depicted as follows:

To reduce the influence of thoughts on mood and the development of anxiety, it is necessary to question them, and not perceive them as facts.

1. Find out what you think about before anxiety gets the better of you in social situations. For example, you thought, “They think I’m weird.”
2. Is it possible that this is not actually the case? What would you think if you were in their shoes? Can you say that you really read their minds? Is there an alternative view of what is happening? “I can’t know 100% what others think. Maybe I feel worse than I look." Choose a thought that is useful to you.

Behaviors that support social anxiety

The way we think influences our behavior. And behavior depends on the result we get. There are behaviors that support social anxiety.

Defensive behavior: communicating only with “safe” people and only on “safe” topics, trying to cover your face with your hair so that no one sees your blush, etc. The desire to be constantly safe maintains the idea that the situation is risky. And it’s difficult to get rid of this thought.

Avoidance is potentially dangerous situations and people. Here the mechanism is the same as in the case of defensive behavior. Fear of anxiety leads to selection, avoidance gives more fear and, accordingly, more avoidance.

Both defensiveness and avoidance can provide relief from anxiety, but the relief is temporary because the anxiety never really goes away. You probably already guessed what needs to be done. We need to give up defensive behavior and stop avoiding, to check whether communication situations are so dangerous.

Will you actually faint from excitement? Is it true that you will stutter to such an extent that a person will prefer to run away from such an interlocutor? Could it be that no one actually even notices how red you are?

Identify what you are doing or avoiding. Maybe you have stopped attending parties altogether, and corporate events are pure torture for you? New Year very soon, experiment! Challenge yourself, set a goal. Describe what happened. Try again. Perhaps this stage of the fight against the fear of communication is the most difficult, but also the most effective. The main task is to gain a different experience.

Shyness and internal focus

We focus too much on the unpleasant symptoms of anxiety, don’t spend enough time with the people around us, and then worry even more about this, too.

Therefore, it is necessary to learn to shift the focus from internal experience (symptoms of anxiety) to external - the process of communication itself.

It is possible to overcome the fear of communication. You need to pay attention to thoughts, beliefs, emotions and habitual behavior patterns, and at each stage something will change. Like any project, it requires an investment of energy and time, but it can truly change your life. You will stop feeling anxious when communicating with strangers, you will begin to easily establish new contacts, you will feel comfortable at any meeting, and you will discover the joy of live communication. Today, go to a new place, meet someone you like right on the street, or invite a random friend for cocoa.

Have a nice and easy conversation!

Yulia Gridasova, psychologist, psychotherapist.

Shyness in front of people and fear of communication is a common problem. Most often, introverted people and teenagers encounter it. It is for them that it is extremely important what impression they make on others and whether others like them.

What is shyness? In psychology, this is a person’s state and the behavior caused by it, the main features of which are uncertainty, indecision, awkwardness, constraint in movements and manifestations of one’s own personality.

Different psychological schools explain in their own way the root causes of shyness and, accordingly, offer different variants solving the problem. Each person decides for himself which of them are closer to his personality, character and life experience.

1. Differential psychology. According to this theory, shyness is an innate quality and is inherited. Confidence cannot be learned. A rather pessimistic view of the problem, because... an innate personality trait cannot be changed.
2. Behaviorism. According to the theory of behaviorism, any human behavior is a reaction to incoming stimuli, which under certain circumstances and strength emotional involvement becomes part of the personality. So it is with shyness - people were unable to master the feeling of fear in response to the stimuli of the social environment, which ultimately led to pathological uncertainty in communicating with people.
3. Psychoanalysis. Psychoanalysts explain shyness by the presence of an unconscious conflict in the personality structure. In their opinion, this is a reaction of the unconscious to unsatisfied instinctual needs and a conflict between moral standards, reality and instincts.
4. Individual psychology. Followers of this trend actively studied shyness and the closely related “inferiority complex” that appears in childhood, when a child begins to compare himself with his peers, often encounters his own imperfections and begins to be embarrassed about his appearance, his abilities, his family, etc. If the child does not have sufficient confidence in own strength, he becomes fearful, withdrawn, passive. However, it is in this direction that psychology is given Special attention opportunities for personal self-development, i.e. Shyness is not a predetermined problem, which means that it is possible to get rid of it by working on yourself.
5. The theory of "high reactivity". According to her, the tendency to be shy is the body’s reaction to overload. In this case, the consequences of this reaction can be of two options:

• the child tends to “avoid”, does not like to communicate and get to know each other, becomes insecure and fearful in public;
• the child enters into a fight and is overly self-confident.

Shyness can be based on two reasons: natural and social. Natural means character, temperament, type nervous system. Under social – the influence of education, environment, communication within the family.

Why is shyness dangerous?

Shyness and fear of people have common roots.

• the second is more related to personality pathologies and manifests itself in the experience of a feeling of fear in the presence of strangers and in the process of communication;
• the first is considered a common phenomenon and does not cause concern among parents if their child is inclined to be shy in company and avoid strangers, and is afraid to meet others. An adult considers this quality a character trait and a specific temperament that one does not need to do anything about, but just has to come to terms with.

Pathological fear of people is dealt with with medication or through sessions with a psychologist, but shyness is most often ignored. However, this is not entirely true.

In the context of life, shyness and inability to communicate can sometimes bring a person many problems and missed opportunities if you do not start working with it.

Shyness in most cases leads to:

• narrowing your circle of contacts. It is difficult for a shy person to make acquaintances and communicate freely. Typically, such people limit themselves to interaction within the family circle. At the same time, most often they suffer because of this - because they actually need diverse communication;
• Shyness affects the objectivity of the perception of the situation. When a problem or stressful situation arises, a shy person often becomes illogical and forgetful;
• a shy person can rarely speak openly and defend his opinion;
• shyness is the cause of depression and reduced emotional background; shy people tend to feel dissatisfaction;
• poor emotional and social life a person who is inclined to be shy leads to physical weakness and rapid fatigue, the appearance of muscle tension, and stooping.

Based on the consequences of shyness listed above, it becomes obvious that it needs to be dealt with.

Shyness not only leads to negative experiences of fear and uncertainty, but also reduces social adaptation and significantly affects the mental and physical level of personal development.

What to do?

Psychologists have developed exercises, by performing which a person will understand how to stop being afraid of people, reduce general level anxiety and a tendency to be shy in relationships with people and overcome your shyness.

1. In any communication situation, when you begin to be afraid of others, remember that shyness is an ordinary feeling that has no objective reasons. It arises on the basis of a chain of thoughts that follows the feeling - I will be funny, I will look ugly, I will not be able to speak decently, I am afraid to answer, etc. And all this happens in your mind, although in reality everything may look exactly the opposite. Always keep this in mind when you start to feel shy or afraid of people.
2. Act despite the feeling of shyness that appears. Try to meet new people more and talk openly about your feelings.

Each time you act to overcome your fears, you add a new positive experience to the “piggy bank” of your consciousness, on which your courage and confidence in relationships with people will subsequently be built.

1. Learn to talk and respond, thinking only about your purpose of communication, discarding all other thoughts. Forget all the “what if.” Keep in mind only your goal and options for achieving it.
2. When communicating with people, avoid excessive politeness and large quantity introductory phrases. Construct your conversation clearly and do not mumble. Learn to speak a little, but to the point.
3. In moments of particular anxiety and fear, use breathing techniques. In yoga, they are actively used and help manage your condition and minimize embarrassment.

How to “remove” shyness from your life

In addition to certain exercises that reduce situational shyness, allow you to manage your condition and not be shy in communication, psychologists have outlined rules for relating to life, yourself and other people. By building your lifestyle according to them, the question of how to stop being afraid of people will be closed:

1. Understand (on your own or with the help of a psychologist) the reasons for your shyness. Where did it come from? Why should you be shy and afraid and what benefits do you have from this? Write down the realizations you gain and refer back to them periodically.
2. Live with the understanding that people are primarily concerned with themselves, and there are no spotlights on you.
3. Know your strengths and weak sides . Don’t forget that there are no ideal people, they are not divided into “good” and “bad” and you are not alone with your problem.
4. Always find reasons to praise and thank yourself. This needs to be done regularly.
5. Strive to communicate more, get acquainted with new opinions, take an interest and study others, less “digging” into your own experiences. The tendency to reflect is an important quality, but only in moderation. Excessive self-analysis drives you in circles, moving you away from reality and interaction with others. Strive to do, not dream.
6. Exercise regularly. Movement is the basis of life. Sport allows you to release accumulated negative energy fear and anxiety.
7. Always be prepared that you may be refused or not appreciated. Figure out why this scares you and what is the worst thing that could happen? You should learn to accept the word “no”, don’t try to please everyone.
8. Give yourself the right to make mistakes. Perfectionism will be a bad thing for you. Remember, it is impossible to learn something without mistakes.

Only those who do nothing make no mistakes.

1. Don't miss out on the opportunity to practice your social skills and communicate more. Learn from those who you think have overcome their shyness. Go to trainings on communication skills or public speaking from time to time, where you can learn not to be shy and speak openly about your feelings and desires.
2. Find comfortable communities for yourself. You shouldn’t do like everyone else - if the majority of people around you like to have fun in clubs and socialize at parties - this does not mean that you should do the same.
3. Always be careful what you say and how you say it. Notice people's reactions. Forget and distract yourself from your fear. In moments of anxiety, repeat: “I’m not afraid of people, they won’t do anything bad to me, I don’t have to please everyone.”

Final comments

Shyness reduces our life potential and deprives us of many opportunities. This personality quality has long been recognized as a problem in psychology and is being actively researched. The ability to communicate is the key to success in social life.

Based on the majority psychological theories Shyness is not a congenital defect or a disease.

You can deal with it on your own if you regularly work on yourself. By doing certain exercises when you need to communicate with other people, it is possible to cope with shyness here and now, and by making the above rules the basis of your life, you can enjoy communication and forget about the problem of shyness.