Experiences and worries are an integral part of our lives. Sometimes they are a stimulus that encourages people to act, and sometimes they have a destructive effect on people, posing a serious threat to health and well-being. It’s a paradox, but as civilization develops, the number of events and objects that may seem potentially dangerous increases. In people with a weak, unstable psyche, they cause a storm negative emotions accompanied by nervousness and fear.
To stop getting upset over trifles, and learn to effectively resist the “temptation” to get nervous, you need to understand the nature of your experiences. Most anxious people admit that they are “forced” to remain in this unpleasant state by worrying about the health and success of their loved ones; for mistakes and oversights made at work; for the safety of property; for relationships with relatives and colleagues... this list can be expanded endlessly. All fears and worries can be divided into two groups.
The first group is worries about danger that really threatens life, health, and well-being: a mother’s anxiety about a seriously ill child; fire victims' feelings about where they will live in the near future; the excitement of a person who finds himself in a foreign city without a means of subsistence; thoughts about the upcoming difficult exam. Such experiences, which are objective in nature or accompany events that have already occurred, are necessary. They help a person mobilize all his strength to solve an existing problem. In such situations, anxiety is temporary and goes away as soon as the problem is resolved. The person returns to a calm life.
The situation is completely different with the second group of experiences associated with a non-existent but expected danger: worries due to the fact that the son or daughter’s mobile phone does not answer; that the boss didn’t say hello in the morning; that the husband stayed at work longer than usual; that the neighbor didn’t invite her to her birthday... Behind each of these reasons there seems to be a tragedy, a catastrophe that is about to happen. In reality, nothing bad happens, because objective prerequisites do not exist - they exist only in a person’s wild imagination. But unnecessary worries, as a rule, do not pass without a trace, providing fertile ground for the development of all kinds of neuroses.
It is not difficult to notice that many people often become nervous even in situations that do not encourage this at all. When life passes against the backdrop of such groundless worries and worries, a calm worldview changes to pessimism, apathy, and loss of the meaning of life. Neurotic disorders appear.
If you are tired of worrying and being nervous, if constant worry deprives you of the joy of life and brings you many painful moments, it’s time to think about parting with causeless nervousness.
- Realize the fact that you often get nervous, not because there are objective reasons for this, but because you are used to being in a state of anxiety and no longer know how to get rid of it.
- If you suddenly feel worried about something, do not brush this feeling aside, but think through the situation associated with it to the end. Your daughter hasn’t called for a long time, and you decided that something happened to her? But this has happened more than once! Then she'll run out of power mobile phone, then she doesn’t look at the clock at all and simply forgets that it’s time to call home, or even just thinks that she’s already big and doesn’t have to report to anyone. So is there a reason to torture yourself? Each time, analyzing the situation, bring it to its logical conclusion, explaining to yourself that the next fear is unfounded.
- If you don’t have the strength to calm yourself down nervous tension, talk to one of your friends. But be scrupulous in your choice. The best interlocutor in such a situation will be a person who is sincerely disposed towards you and is an optimist by nature. Such people know how to see the world in its true colors. If such a person says that your experiences are far-fetched, just believe him. Life will very quickly confirm that he was right, and you were not mistaken in trusting such a person.
- Surround yourself with positive people who know how to sincerely enjoy life. Observe them, see how they behave in situations that seem to you to be harbingers of tragic events. Learn optimism from them and try to share their wildest and most joyful expectations.
- In moments when there is absolutely no one to support you, turn on your favorite tune or movie. Especially for such situations, choose something that can have a calming effect on you.
- Nature is the best healer of the soul. Take a walk, watch birds, plants, and water inhabitants.
- Live in the moment. A day or evening of worries is a day erased from life: instead of enjoying any pleasant or useful activity, you indulged in worries about that bad thing, which you spent several hours waiting for. Isn’t it better to solve problems as they arise, and even more so, not to “predict” them!
- Accept life as it comes. Do you not like one of your colleagues or neighbors? But this is their life and they have the right to live it the way they want. Recognize this right for them! Be surprised if there is something about them that you don’t understand, but don’t judge or disdain. Better, try to understand why this person is the way he is and why this “otherness” of his irritates you and makes you nervous. Most likely, you have created certain models (of people, behavior, relationships, etc.) into which the person you dislike does not fit. Think about whether this is correct.
- Love people, nature, the whole world. Love calms the soul, fills a person with confidence and tranquility, gives joy and harmony.
September 14, 2014 --- Anna |
For those who are faced with sudden (frequent) mood swings, who can write to themselves – “I’m constantly freaking out, but I don’t see any reason,” and often – “when I calm down, I see that I could have done without screaming / swearing / tears,” it is important figure out what happened that you started freaking out “seemingly for no reason.”
Below is a list of the 5 most popular reasons why even little things can irritate you, why you can’t get by without “crazy people,” and how to stop freaking out and getting nervous over little things.
1. Reasons – physiological.
One of the first options to consider is physiology. You need to check:
Thyroid condition
Hormonal background (hormone tests).
As a rule, if the problem is the thyroid gland, then taking medications prescribed by the doctor will help you notice a difference fairly quickly. People are becoming calmer, screaming less and less often, or “as soon as they burst into tears.”
It's corny, but true. First of all, go to the clinic.
2. The reason is a change in lifestyle.
Severe stress can cause “failures” on all fronts. In fact, if you:
Got married/got married
- changed their place of residence,
- changed jobs, social circle,
- started studying or went to work for the first time,
- recently gave birth to a child / family composition has changed,
It makes sense that you are stressed. And if you don’t listen to him carefully and don’t help yourself, then you can go quite far – with outbursts of rage or tears.
3. The reason is monotony.
Most often it’s like “I’m freaking out - I can’t do anything”, with irritation at the sound of a teaspoon or a noisy sound. tea drinkers close ones are experienced by those who, due to circumstances, feel the need for greater diversity.
Routine work, the need to sit “within four walls” with a small child, “forgetting” about one’s needs (even the smallest and most banal ones - going to the cinema / theater at least once a month, meeting friends) sooner or later leads to “crazy "
4. A less obvious reason: you have entered a quiet period in your life.
This is precisely the reason that those who finally reach a psychologist or psychotherapist discover. As a rule, this period is preceded by very complex, costly relationships, difficult circumstances and traumatic events.
Once upon a time (or even recently) it was really necessary to “pull yourself together and cope.” But this does not mean that along with the traumatic events, your feelings about this also disappeared. It is highly likely that if you have experienced:
A painful divorce, the end of a difficult relationship,
- betrayal of loved ones, business partners,
- rape or attempt to rape you,
- any other events that your psyche cannot cope with,
then in a calmer environment, when everything is already behind, previously suppressed and unrecognized feelings rise up. This is normal and it goes away, either with or without the help of a specialist (longer), or with the support of friends and family. Be patient!
5. The reason is in the future.
A person’s problem may not be where he expects it to be. Plans (even for the better!), a potential move to another country, the need to apply to a university or buy an apartment - all this can cause the state of “constantly freaking out” in the present moment.
As a rule, it is enough to admit: what lies ahead of you is a truly serious, important, complex matter. And you are really worried because you want to do it well, so that everything works out for you. It is also desirable to somewhat reduce the “heat of passion”, reduce its significance, provide escape routes and various options for the development of events.
By recognizing that you are worried “about the future,” you can stop “freaking out” and constantly stressing about current little things.
Similarly, young mothers may worry about the health and well-being of the child (a good thing), but “blow the minds” of their loved ones for no particular reason.
6. The reason is the type of nervous system.
Easily excitable people, as a rule, already know about this peculiarity of theirs, and are familiar with the state of “always freaking out” from the very beginning. early childhood. If this condition has not manifested itself in you, and you have known it for a long time, then it is worth choosing strategies on how to act in different situations if you are “covered” or “carried over”.
Mini-instructions for those who often freak out and get nervous
a) Look at what’s going on with your health. Check your thyroid and hormones. Check whether you are taking care of yourself, whether you sleep on time, whether you eat well, whether you have enough entertainment, whether you follow a banal work and rest schedule. If there are no violations, proceed to the next point.
b) Think about how long ago the “I’m constantly freaking out” state appeared. If you have known it for a long time, develop strategies on how to be yourself in this world and continue interacting with it. If recently, see further.
c) Take a closer look at your “life line”. Imagine events in one row - past, potential future. If you have had serious difficulties and experiences in the past, treat this with respect. It takes time to “crap out” of experiences that have been stopped. If you plan to change circumstances in the future or you want to achieve a big goal, reduce its importance!
It’s rare that someone manages not to worry or be nervous, that’s just the way people are made. This is a completely normal condition. There are times when you have to worry and get nervous, but we are all normal, living people. We'll talk about something else. If you are completely overwhelmed by your emotions, you cannot cope with anxiety long time, you start to get nervous over any trifle, then it’s definitely time to sound the alarm and urgently rebuild your consciousness to the normal rhythm of life.
I hope that the tips below will help you understand - how to stop worrying for any reason.
Live joyfully and positively.
Think about how your day starts? From what mood you woke up in, what you were thinking about, to whom you gave a smile and a wish. Good morning, will depend on how the whole day goes. It is very important to make the morning as positive and emotional as possible. Ambiance, nice music, several physical exercise Your smile, your thoughts - everything should help you tune in to a wave of joy and love. The Universe reacts very sensitively to your emotions and will definitely send them back. Try to ensure that only good things come to you in response.
Don't think negative thoughts.
Often, while waiting for the decision of some event, we begin to get nervous. For example, you passed your exams or sent your resume and are waiting for the result. You start replaying it in your head, imagining for some reason the worst possible outcome. But you have already worked hard to achieve a positive result and you cannot change anything. Should you worry if nothing can be changed? Relax, take a break from excitement, praise yourself, mentally thank those who helped you. In this case, the chance of a successful solution will increase several times.
Get rid of guilt.
Many people confuse experience and compassion. These are completely different things. Experiences are an expression of fear, compassion is an expression of love. Compassion means striving to help, even mentally, to support someone in difficult times, and not tormenting yourself with empty worries. Moreover, there is no need to take responsibility for the actions of other people; after all, adults have the right to solve their problems themselves.
Get rid of fear.
Fear of losing your job, fear of not paying off your loan, fear of your spouse cheating, fear of the end of the world. It happens that a person becomes entangled in his fears, like in a web, invisible and sticky. Look at yourself from the outside in such moments. Do you like yourself? I think no.
Solve problems as they arise.
Try to be here and now. You need to think and solve the problems that you currently have. If you live today as well as possible, then this will be the key to success in the future. We can only live each day once, so we need to use it as efficiently as possible. There is no need to poison your life with worries about the past, and indulge in empty dreams about the future. Stay happy now, then the future will be wonderful for you.
Set clear goals.
You must clearly understand the goals you want to achieve in the future. You must feel them, live them, be in the state when they have already come true. We must remember this state. Do not doubt, your subconscious will also remember and begin to push you to repeat this state as soon as possible already in real life. When you clearly know what you want, you will have less time to worry.
Learn to prioritize.
The fear and worry of a pile of accumulated tasks can be easily avoided if you learn to highlight important tasks and solve them first. Take a diary. Having things written down and crossed out is the best way to help sort everything out. Do the important things first, and only then the small ones. When the main job is done, you will have less reason to be nervous and worry.
Evaluate things and deeds correctly.
Try to look from the future at those things and matters that you are currently worried about. As a rule, they will seem insignificant and not so important to you. Then why be upset about something that will depreciate over time?
Keep yourself busy with something interesting.
Find a hobby that brings you satisfaction. There are thousands of such hobbies, and there is no person who is not interested in absolutely anything. By doing something that interests you, you automatically plunge into a state of passion, and your brain switches to the creative process. As a result, there is less time to make yourself feel upset.
Accept each person's individuality.
We sometimes get offended by people close to us. We think we wish them well by constantly monitoring and teaching. But people are all different, and we ourselves have shortcomings. Let your loved ones be who they are. And accept them as such, because we love them very much.
Look for the positive in everything.
A plate breaks – is it worth being upset? Maybe it's time to treat yourself to buying a new plate? A child received a bad grade in mathematics - maybe this is the first sign that he has a talent for the humanities? Your husband forgot about your birthday - urgently change your dressing gown to normal clothes and finally take care of yourself. The time that you will devote to yourself will bring you invaluable benefits and many positive emotions. A girl left you - it is quite possible that the Universe needed to make room for the one with whom you will be truly happy.
*****
If you can't learn right away don't get upset about anything– don’t worry, no one succeeds right away. But if you try to reconsider your life values, then your life will become more fulfilling and happy. Start by trying to understand what is stopping you. Every time you start to worry, analyze what the reason is, try to eliminate it, switch your consciousness to something else. Nothing comes by itself, you need to work on yourself and learn to tune yourself to positive thoughts necessary too. No one else will do this for you. All in your hands!
Hello everyone, friends!
In this article you will learn how to stop constantly being nervous about any reason, about little things, trifles, at work and in everyday life at home. The methods described below will help you calm down and feel good.
Many people worry very often and greatly for various reasons: circumstances, events and problems that arise in their path. And it's not strange!
But at the same time Negative influence on the body, nerves carry colossal pressure into the flesh, leading to stomach ulcers, stroke and others serious illnesses internal organs.
And when old problems and difficulties are solved, a person begins to worry about others, which saves him from the full joy of life. And therefore you need to learn and control yourself in order to avoid the possibility of getting nervous about any reason.
Today you will learn not only how not to be nervous or stop doing it for a while, but also how to remove and eliminate this state in yourself as much as possible, so that in any difficult situation remain morally stable.
How to finally stop being nervous about anything?
1. Solve problems as they arise.
No matter how trivial this phrase may sound. I guarantee 100% that you do not use it all the time. Problems that need to be solved are those that require it in this moment otherwise you will simply burst apart! Never at any time have attempts to solve everything at once brought any results.
If you think about all the past troubles, defeats, and that something might happen somewhere someday and worry too much about it, trying to influence, then you will only worsen your emotional condition. Something has happened, there is no need to sit and be nervous, but it is better to concentrate your attention on how you can solve it.
2. Live in today's compartment.
There is no need to worry about what was and what will be. What is important is what will happen at this moment. I'm not saying you have to live one day at a time (although happy people that’s what they do), of course you need to make plans and strive to achieve them, but that’s not what we’re talking about now.
It is important to understand that in order not to destroy your nerve cells, you need to give your maximum today, and live it usefully and efficiently for yourself and those around you. And then there will be no reason to worry.
3. Collect all the facts and analyze them.
Each of us is nervous for our own specific reasons, in order to eliminate this, write down on a separate sheet of paper all the sources of anxiety, everything that worries you and gives rise to this feeling. After compiling detailed list analyze each item separately. Find the causes and roots of your anxiety.
And when you have found it, immediately begin to act towards solving the problem that makes you nervous, unless of course you can personally or indirectly influence them... If not, then...
4. Accept the inevitable.
It is also possible that there will be a situation, an event, an incident that you cannot influence in any way. And in this case, you just need to accept the situation as a given, as something that cannot be changed in any way.
For example, if you kept your money in dollars, and its value fell sharply, then unfortunately you will not be able to greatly influence it to rapidly increase in price, because this depends on a huge number of factors.
Or, for example, at the university you tried to pass the test with a 5, but you passed with a 4 and a retake was no longer possible, it was the last day. Or lightning struck your lawn at the dacha and completely destroyed your apple tree. Yes, all this is not pleasant, but nothing can be changed. The only way saving your nerves means accepting what has already happened or will happen as inevitable.
Remember: “If the water has flowed away, then it is no longer possible to grind grain with its help.”
5. Determine what the worst thing could be.
In a situation where it is difficult to somehow control yourself and not be nervous at all about what might happen, the best method is to determine what could happen in the worst case. And when you understand and accept it, most likely it will not be so bad and catastrophic.
For example, when I was still 19 years old, I first earned money that was quite serious for me at that time and decided to invest it in business.
And I understood the risk of my investments, and yet I decided (the amount was very significant for me, I will not disclose it, but I will say, to make it clear, I could live for 1 year without working and without denying myself anything).
And at that moment I said to myself: “The worst that can happen is that I will lose this money.” I invested, and the investment did not pay off, more than I lost it all. But if I had walked around and been nervous, it certainly wouldn’t have made me feel any better. And this technique helped me a lot to prevent this from happening. I advise you to use it too.
By the way, about that. how to control yourself, I will soon write a separate article and video, so I advise you if you want to learn how to do this all the time.
6. Get busy.
Any task that is interesting, entertaining, or about something that may need to be done around the house, for example, is good for calming and distracting from stressful situation. If you find yourself in one, switch to some activity and it will help you stop being nervous.
7. Don't worry about other people's opinions.
Believe me, you shouldn't do this. Many people worry about what others will think of them. But in fact, the majority don’t care about you, they have enough worries of their own to think about you. So you can do what you want, within reason, of course. By the way, this helps yourself a lot, so use it and don’t worry.
8. Don't expect others to meet your expectations.
Often parents, relatives, friends, acquaintances, couples expect from each other exactly what they would like, those qualities that do not exist, those actions. which are not accomplished. In general, you don’t need to be angry with them because they are not what you would like them to be. After all, we are all different and you are not perfect either.
You shouldn’t find fault with little things and worry about the fact that something is wrong in a person, because you can’t change an adult... if... by the way, this is in a separate article... so if you want to find out how to make a person be like You want or do what you need, then stay tuned so as not to miss this and other interesting articles.
9. Don’t invent your own problem.
It happens that, in anticipation of some event, we begin to use our imagination strongly, overthink ourselves about what could happen, come up with the worst options and begin to get very nervous about them.
If you really can’t change this in any way, then stop worrying (remember the first tips). You have already done everything to get the result, or even not everything. then the action is completed! What will happen. it will be. You need to understand this and relax.
10. Accept that you are not perfect.
If you don’t like yourself, then this is only a disadvantage for you, because you will always find flaws in yourself - in height, weight, appearance, intelligence, character, etc. But you shouldn’t worry about this, because no one is perfect, neither you nor I, you need to agree and accept.
At the same time, no one forbids you to improve yourself, develop, improve external physical data and internal qualities.
Of course, this is not all the advice that I would like to give, and therefore in the following articles I will continue to talk about how to stop worrying, worrying and start living fully without worries, at least 10 more tips that you should learn about and that you They will also help, it’s already in my head.
Do you know anyone who constantly feels anxious? I wouldn't be surprised if you say that there is. They would like to learn how to learn not to be nervous. They simply develop a habit of anxiety and imbalance. The daily appearance of what seems to them to be problems infuriates them and makes them nervous. I just want to say: “Pull yourself together, buddy! What banana are you mad about?” By being nervous about or without it, they simply deprive themselves of the joys of life. I wish I could learn to cope with myself... With constant stress life is, to put it mildly, not fun. Or maybe you are also used to tickling your nerves? I invite you to admit it in the comments...
Psychology is a subtle science. Accordingly, psychologists are not fat. By the way, have you ever met an overweight psychologist in your life? I've never seen anything like this. Well, okay, we're talking about not about them, but about our nerves.
So, how can you learn not to be nervous and start enjoying only pleasant moments from life? There are some pieces of advice that boring psychologists love to give out.
Surely you have already heard about them more than once from your family and friends, unless, of course, you are overcome by your nerves that are not of steel. The same if there is a feeling of uncertainty about the future.
How should you behave in order to keep your nerves healthy?
Well, first of all, never keep to yourself everything that, as they say, has boiled over. Being left alone with a problem, as Nagiyev said in the Fizruk series, is not an option at all.
Feel free to share it with someone. With whom? Well, in your life, I hope, there are people with whom you can have a heart-to-heart talk? So tell them everything as it is. Your interlocutor's advice may have no meaning at all. They are not important.
The important thing is that he will listen to you carefully, show interest in your problem, and, if necessary, sympathize. This is how you need to learn to let go of the passions that simmer inside. The role of interlocutor can be either your closest relatives (wife, husband, sister, brother, matchmaker, etc.), or even strangers(random seatmate on a bus, train or plane). Well, of course, always be ready to listen and share someone else’s misfortune. There is no need to be nervous alone.
Distract your brain from bad thoughts
Develop the ability to distract yourself from bad thoughts that constantly haunt you. There are simply moments in life when your problems harm not only you, but also your loved ones. Do you know what I mean? Imagine that you came home from work and, in addition to being terribly tired, you feel very nervous and irritable because your boss criticized your project or simply snapped at you.
I agree, this is an unpleasant thing, but is it worth bringing it into the house? Don't think. 60% of people, coming home from work and starting to get nervous out of the blue, quarrel and even make trouble with their relatives because of their stupid irritable head. Try not to infect others with your bad mood.
Remember, you simply do not have the right to convey to others your gloomy thoughts and heavy mood. A very bad impression is made of someone who brings all their problems (even the most insignificant ones) into the world. Depression can inspire bad thoughts.
Take control of your anger
Anger is a feeling that frightens, excites and turns a calm, balanced person into a clap of thunder. When you feel that a wave of anger is about to approach your brain, take a short break and just wait until it passes by. During a pause, reflect on the situation that has arisen, study it and analyze it.
Learn to analyze. Analysis always leads to sound decisions. During such reflections, the thought will certainly come to you that an explosion of negative emotions will not lead to anything good, but rather the opposite. It is for the sake of this soap that it is worth taking a pause.
Well, for those who cannot be calmed by any pause, there is another option - hard physical work will calm your nerves by 99%. Don't believe me? Try it! Let's move on to the fourth tip on how to learn not to be nervous.
Know how to give in to your opponent
Imagine two men discussing the political situation in the country. Each of them has his own opinion, which in no way coincides with the opinion of his opponent. Naturally, an unforeseen discussion turns into a quarrel, or even a fight. So, in order not to walk around with flashlights under your eyes, conduct the conversation wisely.
Sometimes it’s worth giving in and not letting yourself turn into a capricious child who stubbornly stands his ground. In this way, you will save yourself not only from unnecessary nerves, but also, possibly, from a painted face. A reasonable act will always be appreciated by others.
Constantly improve at what you do best
One day the show “The X Factor” was shown on TV and a girl came on stage who thought she was a good singer. After she met the judges of the project, the soundtrack was turned on and all the spectators (in the hall and at the screens) froze in anticipation.
After the girl began to sing, on the second or third line of the first verse, some of those waiting burst into tears of laughter. I don’t think it’s worth telling how it all ended. However, you yourself probably saw this performance.
Here's what I want to say about this. You can't be perfect at absolutely anything. Look, . They concentrate on those matters that they truly understand. Some live their whole lives in constant fear that they are somehow worse than others and are trying to correct it with everyone possible ways. After all, it can’t be like that! How can you not be nervous if you create these nerves for yourself?
We must not forget that all our talents have limits. Find yourself in one or two industries in which you will be well versed and feel like a fish in water. Try to do well the work that you are really good at, and do the rest at an optimal level. I think this is enough to feel satisfied. Am I wrong? =)
If your search for your purpose has reached a dead end, I highly recommend visiting Mikhail Gavrilov’s blog.
Get out of the habit of demanding too much from others
This will make you more nervous than ever. I know it from myself. Do you want to change your relatives? Leave this crazy idea and never return to it. Otherwise, this will be one of your biggest mistakes.
It is very, very difficult to re-educate an adult. Most often it is impossible to do this at all! The fact that the one you are trying to change does not fulfill your requirements makes you constantly nervous. This behavior of yours causes the victim of re-education to have a hostile attitude towards you.
You have to choose one of two things: accept people as they are or have nothing in common with them at all. Try to see the virtues in those around them and during communication, rely only on these qualities.
As Bruce Lee said: “A quick temper will make a fool of you very soon.”
In a word, carefully put your nerves in a box and enjoy life, friends. It's never too late to learn to live in peace.
Denis Statsenko was with you. Healthy lifestyle to everyone! See you