To achieve success in life, it is important to believe in yourself and not be afraid of difficulties. How to become confident? What does it take to work this out? valuable quality? Let's try to figure it out and find the answer.
Psychologists say that self-confidence is a person’s belief that he:
- able to cope with life situations;
- can find a way out of any difficult situation;
- knows how to pacify the fears and doubts that rage in the soul.
Many people think about how to become bolder and more self-confident, because they understand that shyness greatly complicates life and interferes with advancement and communication with the opposite sex.
Looking at successful people, it immediately becomes clear that they know what they want, easily overcome life’s obstacles and achieve heights in any business. It often seems that confidence is an innate feeling that only a select few have. But this is not true. This behavior is the result of self-improvement. The difference is that some people need to work on themselves more, while others need less.
The first rule of how to become more self-confident is to believe in yourself. But this requires reasons. Try to develop in yourself several useful qualities that are characteristic of confident people.
- Don’t feel sorry for yourself, this is only characteristic of weak, insecure people.
- Learn to respect yourself. Each person is unique, inimitable and has all sorts of talents. Set yourself the task of finding qualities and actions for which you are worth respect, and develop this feeling.
- Always maintain perfect appearance and smile often. It is much easier to show strong character and self-confidence if your clothes, makeup and hair are in perfect order. People around you feel positive energy and pay attention to it. This raises self-esteem and gives self-confidence.
- Try to realize yourself. You need to find an activity that brings satisfaction and joy. Favorite hobby helps you stand out from the crowd of people and achieve self-realization.
- It turns out to cut beautiful dresses, knitting, embroidering? Your work will be admired and this will boost your self-confidence. You can run your own blog, organize a shelter for homeless animals, and play sports. People will definitely appreciate your achievements, and this will help raise self-esteem.
The main thing is don’t be afraid to start new life, change behavioral stereotypes. Stop putting up with the supporting role and start playing every day bright colors. It's difficult, but possible. Look back and count how many opportunities you missed, how many things you left unfinished, how many meetings you were afraid to attend due to lack of self-confidence. It's never too late to stop being shy. You can always gain courage and develop a sense of self-confidence that will help you gain the respect of others, become brave and live a fulfilling life.
Step-by-step instruction
Psychology books often reveal this information, and they tell you how to become self-confident especially carefully. Many tips bring real benefit and help you work on yourself. For any recommendations to work, it is important to set a goal and not deviate from it. This is the only way to become confident people.
- Record your progress
This may seem strange to some, but the method really works. Small successes are difficult to keep in mind; a person is embarrassed to talk about them, so he quickly forgets.
Buy a regular notebook and in the evenings write down in it the achievements you managed to achieve during the day. They don't have to be grandiose. It could be new hairstyle, a successful purchase in a store, a successful project at work, a new acquaintance.
Periodically re-read a kind of diary to remind yourself of your successes. This gives confidence on a subconscious level. Gradually you will notice that there are more and more achievements. One day you will realize that you have become a more confident person.
- Fight your fears
To achieve what you want, you need to overcome obstacles. Children won't be able to learn to walk until they fall a few times and get a few bumps. An athlete will not become an Olympic medalist without sprains and injuries. To gain self-confidence, you need to constantly do things that you fear.
If you're afraid to talk to a guy or smile at him, do it. It's difficult to read a speech in front of a large audience - get over yourself and read it. It's scary to stand out from the gray mass of people - take a risk and stand out.
This will help you find a way to stop being ashamed of yourself and become confident. Patience will be required, as fear is difficult to overcome. But every new achievement will fill you with confidence. You will quickly notice that shyness and discomfort disappear, and you become calmer and braver.
- No comparison
Self-confidence often crumbles to dust when a person begins to compare himself to other people. Under no circumstances should this be done. You immediately lower your self-esteem. If a girl is dating interesting guy and looks stylish and well-groomed, this does not mean that she is a fatal beauty and better than you. You see only the outer shell and don’t know what this lady’s life really is like; perhaps she doubts herself and her strengths in the same way.
People are not alike. This does not mean that some are worse and others are better. We're all just different.
- Ignore the failures
Psychologist's advice, books, and Internet resources often talk about how to become more self-confident. These include important rule- don’t dwell on failures. When something doesn't work out, don't beat yourself up about it. Just analyze the mistakes you made and forget about what happened. If you delve into yourself for a long time, scroll through your head different variants developments, next time it will become much more difficult. Everyone has failures. From them a person learns to achieve success.
- Criticism is not always good
Psychologists have long noticed that children who are often criticized grow up to be insecure people with low self-esteem who find it difficult to succeed in life.
As adults, try to avoid hanging out with people who speak badly of you and criticize you a lot. Their negative emotions pull down and significantly reduce self-esteem. If it doesn't seem to have an effect on you, deep down you are still upset and worried. In such situations, it is better to forget about the trouble and say: “I am becoming calmer, I am confident in myself and in my abilities.”
- Change the way you talk
To become more self-confident, it is important to be on an equal footing with other people. Speak clearly, slowly, and do not show excitement or fear. Don’t be afraid to be active at work, express your opinion, take part in the life of the team.
Develop your speech. This is the main communication tool. If it is inconsistent, start correcting the defects. For example, you can record your voice on a voice recorder, listen to it and try to correct any shortcomings.
Find like-minded people and communicate with them on topics that interest you. Once you are carried away by the conversation, you will forget about uncertainty, your speech will become clear, bright, and over time you will learn to speak like this always.
- Praise yourself
How to become a confident person? Praise yourself more often, encourage yourself. There is no need to brag in front of other people; good manners do not allow this. Say that you are great to yourself when you overcome the next obstacle. Think positively. This will help you gain confidence and forget about many complexes.
A self-confident person is identified by an even posture, a sense of humor and an open look. Tell yourself: “Stand up straight, straighten your shoulders, don’t slouch.” Keep your back straight all day and you will feel less stiffness and shyness.
- Jokes more, don't hide your sense of humor. Laughter brings people together and allows them to relax. This good way How to become sociable and confident.
- An insecure person tends to avoid looking other people in the eye during a conversation. If you have such a habit, eradicate it.
- When people doubt your ability to do something, don't get discouraged or withdrawn. Just demand clear answers to why they think this way, and explain to yourself that you will definitely cope.
For a person to become self-confident, it is important not to look for excuses when you don’t want to or are scared to do something. Get rid of this habit and boldly acquire new knowledge, work hard, read, communicate with people, travel. With each new success, self-confidence increases, and the interest in overcoming obstacles increases in order to achieve great achievements.
Self-doubt not only prevents you from setting and achieving desired goals in life, building interpersonal relationships, but is also an unpleasant emotional experience. Insecure people often dream not so much of gaining self-confidence in order to achieve more in life, but of getting rid of the painful feeling of inadequacy that arises from failure or social contacts.
Self-confidence is a concept in psychology that describes emotional condition or sustainable personal quality, the essence of which is to accept one’s individuality, a positive assessment of one’s abilities, skills and rights. Confidence in psychology is the ability to allow oneself to have certain requests and the absence of fear or guilt when presenting them to others, initiative and courage in social contacts.
From a psychological point of view, confidence is the norm, a sign of a healthy, harmonious personality. This is a quality that every person should strive for when engaged in self-development. Self-confidence must be distinguished from self-confidence (conviction in the absence of negative qualities, arrogance, a tendency to treat others with disdain).
Characteristic signs of a self-confident person are the following skills.
- Playfulness, a tendency to improvise, open and spontaneous self-expression.
- The ability to admit your mistakes, but without self-deprecation and self-criticism.
- Calm acceptance of both complaints and compliments addressed to you.
- The ability to discuss, directly and honestly express one’s own opinion, even if it is unpopular in society.
- The ability to repeat a request, question, or remind another person of the promise he has made. Willingness to protect your interests and rights.
For an insecure person, the presentation of his point of view, achievements, needs, desires is accompanied by a lot of negative experiences (fear, embarrassment, shame, guilt). The more insecure a person is, the more difficult it is for him to take active steps to achieve his goals and make independent decisions. Too much energy is wasted on worry and doubt. Possible failures do not frighten a confident person and do not unsettle him for a long time.
How to become a confident woman: the psychology of an excellent student
The excellent student complex, also known as perfectionism, is a problem for most women who lack self-confidence. There is still a “good” girl inside them, who is obliged to bring home only A’s. A girl who was allowed to walk in a white dress, and she returned home in the evening without a single spot. Such women simply do not give themselves the right to make a mistake or an imperfect result. After all, this is no longer an “excellent” rating. As a result, any unimportant task becomes very energy-consuming, and the presence of even minor defects in a completed project is accompanied by an acute feeling of guilt and shame.
Women with an excellent student complex are very easy to manipulate. Management often assigns the most difficult work to them and asks them more than other employees. Although there is no financial encouragement, understanding that hypertrophied responsibility itself will do its job.
This inner little excellent student has enormous power over consciousness. It is her voice that dissuades you from trying something new, because you probably won’t be able to achieve perfection in an unfamiliar task right away. So why try? It is this little monster with bows that prohibits you from enjoying life and makes you feel unworthy of anything good until you have lost weight, gotten a promotion, and made those around you happy.
To regain self-confidence, you need to know the enemy by sight. Mentally imagine before your eyes this girl with a straight posture, neat pigtails, perfect handwriting and dolls arranged according to height, every time it starts And give her a good mental kick. Never allow yourself to be addressed with statements like “stupid”, “bad”, “incapable of anything”, “stupid”, “lazy”. Think about whether you would say something similar to yours to the best friend or a child? In case of failure, you should not torment yourself with accusations, but first of all, support.
How to become a strong and confident woman: the psychology of stereotypes
Gender stereotypes that still exist in our society help maintain gender inequality. And many of them serve a disservice to women who dream of social fulfillment.
The media, especially the film industry, literature and video games, where women and men are portrayed in exaggerated stereotypical ways, have a strong influence on the formation and maintenance of gender stereotypes. Traditionally, men are credited with such qualities as initiative, activity, enterprise, talent for the exact sciences, and are given the right to express aggression and competitive behavior. " Real woman“should be soft, gentle, fragile, delicate, emotional, primarily family-oriented and devoid of career ambitions. If such characteristics do not correspond to a woman’s sense of self, then social pressure becomes a real source of stress and the cause of the formation of self-doubt.
The majority are convinced of naturalness and naturalness gender roles accepted in society. However, in reality, there is a diversity of ideas about gender depending on the culture and era in question. Moreover, gender stereotypes do not reflect the real statistics of women's widespread participation in professional activity V modern society at all levels. For example, the creator of the first programming language was a woman - Ada Lovelace.
The boss criticized you, the girl refused? What does it mean? You have never you will succeed, no one can love you? When you fail, ask yourself: what of this? The answer to this question will help identify your complexes and false ideas about life.
Create a positive self-image
Self-confidence is greatly influenced by the established image of one’s personality. By identifying with the image of a loser, people unconsciously begin to live up to the negative self-image, failing even when given opportunities. For example, doubting his attractiveness to the opposite sex, a guy begins to behave awkwardly or unnaturally when communicating with women. As a result, he pushes them away and receives “irrefutable evidence” that he is nothing interesting.
Once you expand your understanding of your personality, external events will begin to confirm your new views of yourself. To achieve this, you can go in two ways. Or boost your psyche with in various ways self-hypnosis (), or gradually get rid of the restrictions existing in your consciousness. Question one false belief after another, looking for or deliberately creating positive situations in your experience.
Describe at least three situations every day that indicate your success (a compliment received, gratitude from a friend, getting a job). Give as much energy and attention to pleasant memories as to failures. And soon you will feel how the feeling of self-confidence grows and strengthens in you.
Before we dive headfirst into building true self-confidence, let's take a step back and try to understand what confidence is.
Confidence is knowing that what you have will later become what you want and make you happier. This is a necessary condition for an idea to become an action.
Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself when a big deal comes up, raise your hand when an interesting project comes up, or speak at a conference (and without any anxiety!). Confidence is not a 100% guarantee that everything will always work out, but it helps you get out of your comfort zone, expand your boundaries and set a course for success.
Statistics confirm that success has more to do with confidence than competence. So here are five steps to self-confidence.
1. Act confident
As strange as it may sound, to learn to be truly confident, you can first fake confidence. IN wildlife some animals pretend to be brave in the face of danger. Pretend too.
Self-hypnosis doesn't work. Our brain analyzes and compares our expectations with our experience and reality. life situation. If these two aspects do not correspond to each other, the brain goes out of control and you begin to experience stress. Anxiety and negative thoughts, because of which all self-confidence disappears. So what should we do?
Better prepare for an exciting situation, rehearse in front of a mirror (pay attention to both the tone of your voice and facial expressions) and look at others positively, enjoy communicating with them. This will give the brain “sufficient reason” to believe that our positive attitude corresponds to a favorable external situation, and confidence will appear on its own.
2. Remember that you expect more from yourself than others expect from you.
The good news is that the whole world will believe what you show. Thank God, no one can read your thoughts or know about your fears and anxiety.
The bad news: you can misinterpret any sideways glance, any random word, any reaction of people to your actions, and then worry about this (thought up by you) issue.
In this case, psychologists recommend listening to your inner voice (don’t get scared ahead of time, no one is going to persuade you to engage in self-hypnosis). Try a little experiment: for one week, write down what thoughts are spinning in your head (exact wording) when you feel a lack of self-confidence.
By simply recording and analyzing your self-talk, you'll be one step closer to reducing and hopefully eliminating these thoughts.
In addition, it is useful to write down and keep on hand a list of your achievements, experiences, events that made you feel important, confident, and understand that your actions are beneficial.
Every time your inner voice gets out of hand, take a three-minute break, pick up a list, and remind yourself how good you can be. Provide your brain with tangible evidence when you need extra reassurance.
3. Monitor your physical condition
I understand that it is a cliché to say that you need to take care of your health, but this cliché did not appear out of nowhere. Have you ever wondered why all successful leaders, without exception, regularly play sports? If you overwork, eat fast food, don't sleep enough, and lead a mostly sedentary lifestyle, it becomes harder to show off to the world. better version myself.
You don't need to train until you drop for several hours a day: a 30-minute walk from work to home or climbing the stairs to the 10th floor can be enough to release endorphins. Start with small changes in your usual lifestyle and gradually get used to them.
Difficulties and, accordingly, stress need to be added to your life in very small portions. It is necessary to trick yourself so that both physical and mental health are in balance.
4. Increase your output, change your internal dialogue
Do you know why most people's communication skills leave much to be desired? Because they are in their own thoughts. Instead of focusing on their interlocutor and demonstrating their affection, they think about how not to blurt out something stupid and what smart thing to say next. main reason such behavior: they were poorly prepared.
It's almost impossible to be truly confident if you haven't prepared enough to put your best foot forward. Think about the people you are talking to. What do they really want? What's stopping them? How can you help them?
If you focus on helping your interlocutor, you will get rid of anxiety and receive the same genuine interest in response.
This method is worth using to promote your services or if you want to make an impression at any event.
Take the time to research materials on the topic and your audience. Every hour spent doing this activity will bring a disproportionately large result. And what happens when you get positive feedback? You guessed it - you will gain lasting, genuine self-confidence.
5. Fail fast, fail often.
The dreaded word that paralyzes even great people and prevents them from achieving success is failure. It especially haunts those who are perfectionists by nature and are chronically afraid of doing something wrong.
But failures happen in our lives, it’s simply inevitable. In fact, if you don't make mistakes, it means you're not learning anything new. Remember Ramit Sethi’s saying more often: “It’s not a failure, it’s a test.”
You're just checking that it won't work. And when you know this, you can move on and find ways that will lead to the desired result.
And most importantly: once you come to your senses after another “failure,” you realize that you don’t feel empty. After all, it is these experiences that help you face your fears and achieve your goals in the future.
Achieving success in life is sometimes not so easy. Stress and conflict create uncertainty that deprives people leadership qualities and does not give the opportunity to develop. In order to become more successful, you need to start with yourself.
Self-confidence is an important component of every personality. Confident people find it easier to achieve their goals, express their opinions, and engage in own business. In order to find yourself in yourself, use effective advice from psychologists.
1. Choose the right clothes
Clothes and appearance say a lot about a person. To feel more confident, do not forget about personal hygiene and wear clean, neat clothes. If you are satisfied with your appearance, it will be easier for you to contact people and express your point of view. A simple rule will help you look stylish: buy high-quality clothes that will last you much longer. Fewer clothes in your wardrobe will not clutter the space, and you will always look neat.
2. Change your gait
A self-confident person is always distinguished by his gait. Energy and determination are transmitted to the whole body, which is why such people’s steps are swift. They have somewhere to go, they are confident in their actions. If you can't walk quickly, add some liveliness to your gait. This will help you get organized and feel much more confident and purposeful.
3. Watch your posture
Lack of self-confidence is visible in drooping shoulders, drooping head and sluggish movements. Start watching how you hold your back, start training at home. A straight back and a confident head posture will help you gain self-confidence. In addition, you will be able to make a good impression on employers, colleagues and people around you.
4. Promote yourself
Motivational speeches are needed in order to feel a surge of strength and confidence in your actions. Write a short speech for yourself, highlighting your strengths. Learn it and recite it while standing in front of the mirror. Psychologists recommend performing this exercise “in full dress.” So, if you need to undergo an interview, give a report or conduct business meeting, put on a formal suit and start building your self-confidence. Pronounce complex phrases so that your speech is correct and competent.
5. Don't forget about gratitude
Any completed task requires a reward. Learn to thank yourself for what you succeed at. This motivation will help you avoid discouragement when you fail to complete a difficult task. Take a break and remember what you managed to accomplish brilliantly. This way you will raise your self-esteem and begin to perform your duties with enthusiasm.
6. Be mindful of compliments.
In order not to transfer your bad mood to the people around you, make it a habit to praise them and say pleasant words. Eliminate any gossip and judgment of your environment behind your back. Thanks to compliments and a reciprocal sincere smile, you will cheer yourself up and become more confident in your words and actions. In addition, by giving compliments, you discover in yourself best sides and begin to stay on course for success.
7. Choose seats in the front
Lack of confidence causes people to choose distant places at meetings and other events. By deciding to sit in the front row, you conquer your own fears and strengthen your self-confidence. In addition, your position will be advantageous if you are aimed at actively participating in the event. You will be able to show off, engage in conversation, and be noticed by people speaking.
8. Express your own opinion
9. Don't neglect exercise
Physical form affects self-confidence as well as appearance. By paying attention to sports, you become more resilient, keep your figure in order and constantly feel a surge of strength. Working out also builds willpower and improves your mood, so constant practice will help you gain self-confidence.
10. Take care of the people around you
When we get hung up on own desires, we stop seeing the world in integrity. In order to be confident in yourself, you need to pay attention to people's needs. Good deeds and selfless help will help you not to dwell on your own shortcomings, and sincere gratitude will help you become better. Experiencing a surge of positive emotions, each person subconsciously begins to gravitate toward goodness and light, which increases his chances of success and self-realization.
Drawing up a daily work plan will also help you gain self-confidence. This will help you be more collected, calculate the time correctly and eliminate annoying mistakes. Get yourself a diary in which you note down the necessary things, thank yourself and the people around you, be happy and don’t forget to press the buttons and
How to become successful, confident and confident in just five minutes happy man? Want to try?
You can become more confident and significantly increase your self-esteem quite quickly. 3 main principles of self-confidence will help you with this. These are the tips of the famous psychologist and relationship expert Irina Udilova.
1. The “Translator” principle
The first of them is the “Translator” principle. The principle of the “Translator” is to use, broadcast in your life, distribute around yourself only those things, those values, that knowledge that you yourself are very pleased with. For example, of course, it is very important for you to receive respect; it is very important for you to live among people who value, love, respect you and, even if they criticize you, do it with love. The most important thing, the most basic thing: be sure to distribute exactly what you like. Don’t talk about those things that make you sad, depressed, disappointed, throw you into some state when you don’t want to do anything at all - you give up. Don't allow these things to happen in your life. Be sure to broadcast, broadcast what you really like. What we broadcast, we ourselves multiply in our lives. This one Magic wand, which greatly affects your confidence, your success, how you feel.
2. The principle of “Clay Pots”
The second principle that will definitely allow you to become self-confident is the “Clay Pots” principle. It certainly sounds tempting: what kind of pots? And it turns out that back in the nineties, American scientists conducted an interesting experiment. They assembled two groups. One group was given the task: “Make pots, as many pots as possible.” And the second group was told: “Make good pots, quality ones, so that every pot is perfect.” And what do you think was the result? Which group made more quality pots? It turned out that there were more of them in the first group. Those people who didn’t bother, those people who acted, everything turned out much easier for them. And, of course, you also noticed that when you are in any creative process When you act, you have more energy, more joy. And when you doubt, measure, prepare, then tension and fear grow. The future result is always on my mind. And all the doubts, fear, tension - this is what exactly prevents us from doing what we want in life, and doing it at a good level. Remember that all the doubts, all the improvements, all the improvements that we usually really want to make in any of our business are just marking time. We do not allow ourselves to act at this moment. And microsteps are your precise progress towards what you want, towards the goal that inspires you. Allow yourself to make mistakes, allow yourself to “walk”, act and enjoy it.
3. The principle of “Sufficiency”
And the third principle, which will definitely allow you to become self-confident, is the principle of “Sufficiency”. It is based on the principle of insufficiency, that there will not be enough of everything. This is our childhood. When we were little, we always wanted someone to give us at least something else: candy, sweets, attention. And in this position we always remain children. An adult knows for sure that right now he has in his hands everything he needs to improve his life, in order to help someone else. When a person gives, he has a feeling inside that this is a lot, this is enough. And the more often you are in this position, the more effective you will be in your life, the more effective you will be in what you do for other people. Thanks to the feeling of sufficiency, the feeling that you have enough, you have the strength to share it with others. And this is what allows us to change our world radically, allows us to contact each other, be useful to each other, and unites the whole world.
And these were exactly the 3 principles that right now, within five minutes, will allow you to feel more confident, happier, because you have everything you need:
- You can broadcast those things that are important to you and valuable to you.
- You have your sufficiency.
- And the third thing is to sculpt pots, act and do it with pleasure, with joy.
This is what will affect your world and the world in general.
Be confident in yourself and everything in your life will be top-notch!
Arthur Golovin
Interesting