Death is a person’s transition to eternity, the beginning of a new life. For a person, the time of exploits, spiritual struggle, and cleansing of the soul from sinful defilements ends. The time has come for retribution. Man has to meet face to face with the Creator. It depends on how a person lived on earth whether his soul is capable of accepting the eternal bliss of the Kingdom of Heaven. Did she wash herself in the waters of repentance during her life or did she indulge in sins and vices? Earthly life influences eternal destiny. After the soul is separated from the body, only the living can help the deceased. Therefore, the Holy Church established the rite of remembrance of the dead. Living people, relatives and friends of the deceased, should pray as often as possible for the salvation of his soul. Funerals are done primarily for common prayer. You can pray both at home and in church.
for days special commemoration for the deceased, the third and ninth days after death, forty days, the anniversary, birthday and name day of the deceased are considered. Funeral services are also held for six months. You can remember for six months at a common meal, which is done for the relatives and friends of the deceased; you can also feed the poor. IN fast days food should be lean, in ordinary times it should be lean. There should be no alcohol at the wake. Before the meal, you need to pray: you need to read “Our Father” and sing “Eternal Memory”. During the meal, you can remember the deceased. If it is not possible to have a common meal, you can distribute small treats or some kind of memorable item (scarf, dishes, etc.) to those who remember you. It is very important to give alms - to help the poor with a request to pray for the deceased.
You can remember the deceased in Orthodox church, at the Divine Liturgy. For commemoration, the sorokoust is ordered - this is the commemoration of the deceased at the Divine Liturgy for forty days. Commemoration in the temple can take place for a longer period - six months, a year. You can order a commemoration at the proskomedia. Proskomedia is the first part of the liturgy, in which bread and wine are prepared for the sacrament of Communion. Being present at the Divine Liturgy, the relatives of the deceased can receive communion and confession. At the same time, particles are taken out from the prosphora (special bread that is baked for serving the liturgy) for the living and for the dead. There are special prayer chants for the departed - requiem and lithium (in this case, the type of lithium read about the repose of the soul of the deceased is meant). You can read funeral prayers at home, in front of icons.
You can invite a priest to serve a memorial service - at home or at the cemetery. The requiem and lithium can also be served by the laity, while the prayers that are usually said by the priest are omitted. The memorial service and litiya for the laity can be found in the Orthodox prayer book. You can remember for six months by reading the funeral psalter. Relatives of the deceased can read it at home; you can also invite a clergyman home to read the psalter. It should be noted that it is customary to read the gospel about deceased priests instead of the psalter. Not everyone organizes funerals for six months. But it must be remembered that for the deceased it is very important prayer help alive. It is necessary to pray for deceased relatives and friends throughout your life.
In the section on the question: Funeral for half a year - is there a generally accepted ritual associated with this event? given by the author Prosphora the best answer is Funeral services, held in the immediate aftermath of death - until the fortieth day, and then after six months and a year, were performed as a family rite, a rite life cycle, family ritual. They were characterized by a closed character, the presence of a narrow circle of relatives and close family members. It is aimed at a specific person, a specific family member. Their goal is to preserve consanguineous ties with the dead. The deceased is commemorated on six months, a year, birthday, and the day of the Angel of the deceased. Orthodox canons establish that there should be no alcohol on the funeral table, since the main thing in a funeral service is not food, but prayer, which is clearly incompatible with a drunken state, in which it is hardly permissible to ask the Lord to improve the afterlife fate of the deceased. No wonder the popular proverb says “Drinking is joy of the soul,” but on such a day the fun is unlikely to be festive. There is a tradition of placing a utensil on the funeral table for the deceased (a knife and fork are placed parallel to an empty plate), a lighted candle is placed, often decorated at the base with a black ribbon, as well as a glass (shot glass) with vodka, covered with a piece of black bread. Funeral words It was customary to say it while standing, and after the first one to honor the memory of the deceased with a minute of silence, also standing. It was not customary to say thanks for the treat. After eating, the spoon was usually placed on the table and not on the plate. By the way, it should be mentioned that according to custom, if during lunch a spoon fell under the table, then it was not recommended to pick it up.
Getting up from the table, they often bowed in the direction where the deceased’s utensil stood, addressing “him” with words like “we ate, drank, it’s time to go home, and may you rest in peace,” after which, saying goodbye to the relatives of the deceased, went home. As a rule, they sat at the table for a long time, which was considered a good omen, since many good things could be remembered about the deceased. In some places there was a sign that whoever stood up first from the funeral table would soon die, so they tried not to be the first to leave the table. After the guests left, the household, if they had time, usually washed themselves before sunset. There was no need to remove anything from the table, but they tried to cover all the cutlery and remaining food with something, except for that intended for the deceased. All doors and windows were tightly closed at night. At dusk they were already trying not to cry, so as not to “call the deceased from the cemetery” popular belief. It is very useful on the memorable days of the deceased to donate to the church, give alms to the poor with a request to pray for him. You can bring sacrificial food to the canon. You just cannot bring meat food and alcohol (except for church wine) to the canon. The simplest type of sacrifice for the deceased is a candle that is lit for his repose.
Commemoration of the dead should take place according to Christian traditions. Everyone knows that there are obligatory dates for this, but whether the commemoration is done for six months or not is a question for many. The constant dates for commemoration are: the second day after burial, the ninth day after death, the fortieth day, for a year.
We remember regardless of the dates
But most people have a question about whether it is necessary to organize a wake for six months after death. And how to properly organize a remembrance, often loved ones do not know and turn for advice to old people or clergy, who will certainly tell you what should be done in this case.
The fact is that Orthodox people must remember the deceased, regardless of the dates and periods from the day of death, it is customary, according to church canons, to pray and visit the temple, leaving notes or ordering prayer services. This must be done before starting Divine Liturgy, since during the service the clergyman at a certain moment reads out all the names of the people who are indicated in the notes, he says prayers for the peace of their souls in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Notes are submitted not only in ordinary churches and temples, but also in monasteries and Lavras; it is believed that the more and longer they pray for the deceased, the easier it will be for his soul.
It is worth finding out in advance how to properly submit notes and what services are available for this so as not to make mistakes.
Rules of remembrance in church
In order to remember in church, you need to come in advance before the service and write notes with the names of the deceased. The Church does not set dates or restrictions on dates and periods, since remembering people who are no longer in this world is church rules necessarily and even necessary every day in your prayers.
Exist certain rules, according to which funeral lists can be submitted, the fact is that Orthodox Church can only remember baptized people in his prayers; he can pray for people of other faiths in his heart and soul. It is also worth knowing that you cannot remember people who have passed away on their own; they are buried without church rites and funeral services. Otherwise, there are no prohibitions, the priests say that you need to remember as many of your ancestors and relatives who are in the other world as possible, by doing this a person not only does good for them, but also for the whole family.
So, at six months it’s still worth coming to church and holding a service, after which you can order a prayer service for the remembrance of the dead and submit a note with the name. It is worth remembering that in the note names are written strictly in the genitive case. Even if you came to order this prayer service for the sake of one person, then it is still worth writing in the note all the deceased relatives and friends.
It is also worth ordering the “magpie for the deceased”; these are certain prayer rules that the clergy will read for forty days. You can submit notes in different temples and at the same time, this will only enhance their effect and power. They pray at home during this period, if you don’t know how to do it, then the right decision do not undertake prayerful feats on your own, but with the blessing of the priest. If the priest gives a blessing, then at home you can read the psalter and special prayers every day, which the priest will tell you about.
Of course, in order for prayer to come from a pure heart and have great power, it is worth taking the sacrament yourself, but only after adequately preparing for this event. Before this, it is necessary to fast for three days and complete morning and evening routines. prayer rule, in addition, read the three canons and the procedure for Holy Communion. All these rules and detailed recommendations is in every prayer book, the main thing is to begin this task with peace of mind and good intentions.
Nowadays, pilgrimage is very developed, and many have a wonderful opportunity to visit various holy places; in many temples, notes are collected and delivered to a sacred place by a certain date, where they will be read.
When coming to church, you should know that candles for the dead are placed only in a certain place. If you look carefully, you will find a large crucifix of Jesus Christ in the church, and next to it a flat candlestick with a large number of cells for candles; other options are possible, but this is the more common type.
In many churches there is a printout nearby with a prayer that should be said at the cross and lighted a candle.
Many churches have a special memorial table on which people place food for remembrance. This could be bread, cereals, fruits, cookies and candy. In monasteries, this food goes to the kitchen, where a meal is prepared for parishioners, and if these are monasteries, then for pilgrims.
How exactly to remember at six months
On a certain date in the morning you need to visit the temple, defend the service and submit a note. It is worth leaving food items for remembrance. If possible, then after the Divine Liturgy you need to order a memorial prayer service. You should definitely light a candle and quietly pray from the bottom of your heart for the deceased, you need to say the words to yourself and you can say them in your own words. The main thing is not eloquence, but the essence and purity of thought and prayer that is addressed to God. This will help you to quench your sadness and sadness a little; such prayers allow you to feel the soul of your loved one and gain a certain peace.
After visiting the church they go to the cemetery. You need to light a candle at the grave, so that the light does not go out, it is better to purchase a special lamp in advance in which the candle is placed. You can leave cookies and candies on the grave so that random people can remember. It’s still not a good idea to host a meal at the grave yourself; the custom involves leaving funeral products at the grave. The clergy always say that the main thing is prayer, not food, and especially not in the cemetery. There is a place of peace and quiet, where you can only mourn and pray.
They often arrange a memorial dinner in a cafe or at home, inviting people who knew the deceased and remember him with kind words. As a rule, people come in the first half of the day, and the meal itself does not last for long time. The range of dishes should be restrained, in other words, it’s still not worth throwing a feast.
You can prepare the deceased’s favorite dishes for the table, but the rest of the menu has a classic look, this is the first, second, salad and mandatory For each of the guests, a pie and sweets and cookies are placed on the table. This is a fairly old custom; pies are used to commemorate people after death on the ninth day and on subsequent dates. But after the funeral has taken place, on the second day, the relatives of the deceased bake flatbreads, pour honey on them and distribute them to neighbors and relatives who knew him well. This tradition has been preserved since ancient times, when people did not buy pies and donuts, but baked them themselves.
Before the meal, you must read a prayer and taste three spoons of kutya, and after that you can start eating.
Some people know in advance how many people will be at the dinner and prepare memorial envelopes for them. This is a small set consisting of cookies and sweets, the quantity is determined by everyone independently, but, as a rule, it is a couple of cookies and the same amount of sweets. It is worth remembering that if six months fall during fasting, then the dishes must necessarily be lean.
There is no need to worry or be upset about this, since there is a large selection of lean and quite tasty dishes.
Meat dishes are replaced by fish, but the rest of the menu remains unchanged. If six months falls during Lent, then you can commemorate either on Saturday or Sunday. Wednesday and Friday are considered permanent fast days; on these days, dishes should not contain meat products.
The church does not approve of commemoration with alcoholic drinks at all. It is advisable to have non-alcoholic drinks on the table.
Dishes on the funeral table
Kutia is an obligatory dish on the table; it is made from millet or rice. Place it in small bowls, each for 2-3 people. Before you start eating, you need to eat three spoons of kutia. This tradition has its roots in ancient times, when Christian traditions were just beginning.
Prepare kutya from wheat as follows:
- The cereal is soaked in water overnight. Early in the morning the wheat is cooked until tender.
- When the cereal is ready, season it with honey and add raisins.
- Raisins should be soaked in hot water for a couple of hours before adding to kutya.
- The dressing is made from warm boiled water and honey.
- Kutya should not be too liquid or thick.
In addition to the traditional funeral kutya, compote or jelly, as well as pies baked in the oven, are obligatory.
The main menu consists of a first course, most often borscht. This dish can be either lean or meat, it all depends on the time of remembrance.
Second courses are usually mashed potatoes and meat gravy. From meat dishes prefer cutlets or chops. For Lenten menu Goulash can be replaced with baked or fried fish.
The rest of the menu is at your discretion. For example, the salad served can be meat, fish or vegetable; some people prepare two types. For appetizers, you can make spring rolls or pita rolls. You don’t need to put a lot of snacks, two types are enough, two salads and slices with cheese and sausage.
If the wake is held in a cafe
Today, many people prefer to hold funeral dinners not at home, but in cafes where there are funeral tables. In such establishments, the menu has already been carefully compiled, and if desired, it can be slightly supplemented and changed in your opinion.
The cafe offers two types of menu, Lenten and classic. When ordering lunch in a cafe, you need to agree in advance on the time and number of guests; many people order dishes with a reserve, as there are different situations. The fact is that previously everyone who wanted to honor the memory of the deceased came to the memorial meal, but today this tradition has changed a little; people, as a rule, do not come without an invitation.
Still, it is important to remember the deceased first of all in church; special attention should be paid to this.
For Christians, it is very important to order a prayer service for the soul of the deceased in the church on the day of remembrance and go to the grave, where a lamp is lit in memory of the person.
Very often there are small chapels on or near the cemetery where you can light candles and leave notes. In addition, priests often agree to hold a prayer service directly at the grave of the deceased; this is considered a good tradition, where the priest mentions not only the name of the deceased, but also those who are buried nearby.
It is worth commemorating not only on certain dates, but also every day in your prayers, this will help preserve the warm and bright memory of a loved one and gain peace of mind and some consolation for my loss.
Instructions
Pray for the deceased in the morning on the day when six months have passed since the death of your loved one. This should be done at home in front of an icon, photograph and a pre-lit candle. Stop by the church before going to the grave. This should be done before the start of the church service. Place a donation and buy a candle (required).
Submit a note with the name of the deceased to the appropriate window of the temple, ordering a special ceremony. It is best if you order a memorial at Proskomedia. In this case, a small piece is taken out of a special prosphora for the deceased and subsequently dropped into a special bowl of holy water as a sign of washing away his sins.
Light a lamp or just a candle bought in church. Set a small table with food near the grave, so that, as they say, you can eat with the deceased. According to legend, it is believed that the spirit of the deceased hovers in the clouds and is nearby. You should also place a few pieces of food on the grave. At the same time, it is important to observe fasts, if there are any at the time of commemoration.
Pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased near the grave. Gather everyone who visited the grave of the deceased and invite them home to the memorial table. Food on the table should only be allowed by the church at the time of commemoration (fasting - fasting, and also depending on the day of the week on which the commemoration takes place).
It is necessary to perform lithium before meals. This can be done by a lay person by reading a prayer accordingly.
Serve first, before starting the meal, kutya (porridge) made from wheat or rice with raisins and honey.
Start your meal, remembering each time good deeds and the actions of the deceased. This is where the name “Wake” comes from.
Attention! When remembering the deceased, you should abstain from alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink.
IN Christian tradition remembering the dead symbolizes faith in eternal life and that after “biological” life another life begins, unknown to earthly people, but no less real for this. By remembering, we try to help the person who has left us in eternal life. And since the remembrance of the dead is, first of all, based on faith, all customs are in one way or another connected with the church.
You will need
- * prayer book;
- * church candles.
Instructions
First, pray. Since the world to which we turn when the dead are dead is immaterial for us, the basis of interaction with it is prayer. Despite the fact that you can almost always pray, there are special days: after - the third, ninth, fortieth, as well as birthday, death day, etc. Bring prayer at home or in church. At the same time, it is believed that prayer has greater power of grace. During a church commemoration, the priest pronounces the names, which you hand over to the church kiosk before the service by writing on. Also light a candle.
Funeral meal- also one of the important components of the funeral tradition. Meals are arranged for relatives and friends of the deceased on the third, ninth, fortieth day and anniversary. Traditionally, before a candle or lamp, one of the relatives reads the 17th kathisma from the Psalter, after which everyone present reads the “Our Father.”
A few words about the funeral table. Serve the kutya first, having previously blessed it in the church or sprinkled it with holy water. Pancakes are also traditional. Alcohol, contrary to popular belief, should be excluded.
Please note that if it falls on Wednesday or Friday or time, the table must be fast. And from the weekday of Lent, move them to the next Saturday or Sunday.
The custom of visiting the graves of deceased loved ones on Radonitsa is widespread. Believers not only clean graves after winter, but also pray. Usually the Easter troparion “Christ is Risen” is read or sung three times. Next you can read Psalm 90. Instead of the usual funeral kontakion “Rest with the saints,” it is customary to read or sing the Easter kontakion “Even if you descended into the grave, the Immortal One.” Special funeral troparia from the requiem service and litany “With the spirits of the righteous who have died” can also be read or sung. Some believers in cemeteries on the day of Radonitsa read (sing) the Easter canon.
Commemoration of the dead on Radonitsa can be performed at home after visiting the liturgy and burial places. The above Easter chants can also be sung at home.
Radonitsa serves as a special remembrance of the fact that Christ descended into hell and brought out people who believed in him, saving them from spiritual death.
When after death loved one Some time passes, relatives ask themselves: six months since the date of death? Rules for holding memorials exist not only in Orthodox tradition, but also refer to secular norms accepted in a particular culture.
How do Christians remember the dead?
There is no information in church books about how to organize a memorial table and whether it is worth going to the cemetery six months after the death of a relative. But church ceremonies for the deceased still exist.
According to tradition, after six months a prayer service is ordered for the deceased person. Various prayers for the repose are also read. In the church on the funeral eve a candle is lit for the deceased.
At home, the relatives of the deceased can pray for the repose of his soul in front of the icon. Sometimes during this prayer, a photo of the deceased is placed next to the face of the saint and a candle is lit.
A funeral feast can be organized either at home or in a special restaurant that has a special menu for such occasions. On this day you can take kutya and pancakes to the cemetery, which are left at the grave.
All relatives and close friends of the deceased are invited to the funeral table. Before the meal begins, prayers are said. Then stories from the life of the deceased person are told.
The menu for the commemoration includes fish pies, salads, kutia, pancakes, and pickles. If there is a fast during this date, then the table should be set modestly. This is especially true for those people whose deceased relatives were deeply religious during their lifetime.
Whether to drink alcohol during a wake is up to everyone to decide for themselves. But it is still not worth consuming it in large quantities. It is necessary to remember the deceased with slight sadness. It is not advisable to indulge in intense grief, because he has gone to better world to God.
Funeral with rescheduled date
How to remember six months from the date of death if it is not possible to organize a memorial on this date? According to the rules, you can organize a wake three days before this date, and two days after it.
On the day of the funeral, you can distribute all the belongings of the deceased to those in need. It is possible to perform such manipulations before this period, but not everyone can do it. Sometimes it is advised to wait a year to give someone personal items and clothing of the deceased.
But if relatives cry a lot for their deceased, then it is necessary to remove his things from the house exactly after six months from the date of death.
On the morning of Remembrance Day, it is necessary to distribute alms to the poor and ask them to pray for the deceased person. In the evening, you can attend a service and submit a note there with the name of the deceased, so that the church will pray for him.
What should you not do at a funeral?
The following things cannot be done at a funeral:
So, how to remember six months from the date of death, if emotional condition leaves much to be desired? You need to take a sedative. Ask family and friends to help organize the funeral. And try to understand that the pain from the loss will someday subside, it won’t always be so bad. Everything related to the wake must be organized with the utmost care and attention. After all, according to popular belief, the soul of the deceased is nearby on such a date and observes the degree of respect the living show it.