There is no need to be modest today - Respond in the hall Aries.
Aries is an energetic sign. Always confident, Aries is capable of a lot. And if after a week-long party you decide to relax, and you are dragged into night club, Aries does it.

Well done and tomboys, Where they sit with us Taurus?
Taurus are constant and decisive. And if someone constantly and decisively asks you; “Do you respect me?”, then this is Taurus.

Where are the brave guys? Faster than everyone else Twins!
Gemini is an eternally youthful sign. They love jokes and fun, they love beauty in everything. They have a very good tongue, etc. if you're having fun, it means Gemini is nearby.

The zodiac has many signs, now I want to see Rakov!
Cancers are the most cautious sign; they are unlikely to go on an adventure. Cancers are also the most loyal sign. Cancers are reliability itself.

You will respond in unison, Kings of Beasts, beauties Lions!
Leo is the most creative and generous sign. Is it true. Leos love to show authority, so if there is a POWERFUL concern nearby, it is a Leo.

Everyone look to the right, to the left, Where in our hall Virgo?
Virgo is the most meticulous and painstaking sign. She never makes hasty conclusions and would rather measure seven times and pour once. Virgo is practical.

Lift up your noses, show yourself to us, Scales?
Libras are calm and affectionate. And therefore they can easily borrow 1000 euros from you and kindly not return them.

Queue according to all laws Stand up and have a drink Scorpios!
Scorpios are a living intuition, they clearly know where, wherever, in order to... But, being very “alive” by nature, Scorpios can be excellent friends and life partners.

All the signs here are great, lucky everyone - Sagittarius.
Sagittarians are very fond of all kinds of challenges and adventures. Being optimists, they will always find adventures in their second 90s.

Don’t be strict with the presenter... respond, Capricorns!
Capricorns - since childhood, they are very fond of precision and clarity. They are tacticians and strategists, so if someone tactfully gets you drunk, then it is Capricorn.

Let them raise their glasses soon. Without hesitation, Aquarius!
Aquarians are a very friendly sign, but they prefer peace and solitude. Therefore, many Aquarians can calmly and privately indulge in their favorite activity.

And on our holiday let us smile. They give affectionate Fish!
Pisces are dreamers by nature. They sing songs or write poems. Pisces is creativity and if someone next to you is creatively sleeping with their face in a salad, it could be Pisces.

2. Alcohol horoscope for guests

1. Aries it's high time

Have a glass of wine

You just need to drink wisely:

Not under the holiday table.

2. And to the stubborn Taurus

Getting drunk doesn't suit you

You better decide

Have fun without vodka

3. Twins, understand yourself

Don’t poison your soul with vodka,

Better drink milk

You will live to be a hundred years old!

4. Well, eh Cancer you can have a drink

But just a glass or two,

Just be very careful

Otherwise there is a scandal in the family

5.Lviv we want to warn you

That you shouldn't drink a lot,

Don't let the temperature enter your body,

Pour some tea into a glass!

6. Virgos, don't drink too much,

Have pity on your stomach

He may not understand you

Do not take lard with vodka!

7. A Libra in harness together

Need to pour more fully

So don't be shy

And drink alcohol to the bottom

8. Scorpion still a child

He can't drink at all

If he drinks vodka,

Everything will be upside down for you!

9. A Sagittarius the advice is:

If you want to be healthy,

You better have a drink

Instead of vodka, lemonade!

10. Capricorns lucky

You can drink to spite everyone,

The evening will instantly last an hour,

All that's left is to have fun!

11. Aquarius good,

They drink vodka from the heart,

Don't give in to vodka

Better stay sober!

12. Pisces everyone needs

A glass full of wine,

Overturn, but not past,

Definitely to the bottom!

Aries

Let's start getting acquainted with how zodiac signs get offended with a cute lamb. Anyone who managed to hurt him need not worry too much. This villain won't have time to dodge anyway. Aries are compassionate people and are unable to remember grievances for a long time. They will definitely forgive: once on the head with something heavy, the second time on the kidneys with a foot. Later, however, they will also regret it if they catch up with the offender. But in general, these cute creatures are able not to react to stimuli if they have headphones in their ears, according to their horoscope. How the zodiac signs are offended, Aries, in principle, doesn’t care. The lambs concentrate on their world, where justice reigns (as they understand it). It is better not to touch an offended Aries for a couple of days (or years). Then he will forget about the evil deed and will behave as before. Aries have a strange ability to try on the suffering of the offender. In a couple of days, they will really try to understand him; they may even bring flowers to the hospital, where the former “villain” is restoring his damaged health.

Taurus

If your loved ones or friends are patronized by this horned resident heavens, then information about how zodiac signs are offended is vital. Read and understand, it will not be superfluous. It is strictly not recommended to irritate a Taurus. He just has great, incredible patience. He will begin to cherish, worry, nurture, without showing his emotional state in any way. When the time comes, he will sit the “villain” on an uncomfortable stool and begin to read the notation with abandon. Taurus approaches all matters extremely responsibly. You will have to sit on the lanky “calvary” for a long time, but you won’t be able to escape. Taurus will remember all the dirty tricks and sins you have committed since the time of King Pea. In his speech he will definitely include the most important information about how people are offended different signs zodiac, focusing on your own. Here it is better not to remain silent, but to ask for forgiveness. Maybe you'll be lucky and Taurus won't let things get to you.

Twins

It is unpleasant to quarrel with a representative of this sign. And for both sides. Gemini will be surprised by such impudence and will instantly react to the insult. The hurricane will not last long; almost everyone will survive. The villain should not be afraid of assault. He will be dragged through the mud with words. The scandal will also end suddenly. Gemini will never remember you again!

Cancer

People under the protection of this sign are so sentimental and romantic that those around them, against their will, fall under their charm and relax. And they should remember about the claws. Cancers take offense often and tastefully. These people have hypertrophied sensitivity. Any little thing can hurt them and plunge them into the abyss of angry experiences. If you notice such a change in mood, immediately sincerely repent! In the first moments, the villain still has a chance to escape without much loss. True, Cancers will try to thoroughly check the offender for the truth of repentance, expecting a catch. You need to convince with all your might, otherwise terrible revenge awaits you. Cancers cook it with pleasure, trying to touch the particularly delicate strings of the villain’s soul in order to hit it harder. For creative people it won’t matter how the zodiac signs get offended, comic horoscope they will put it aside. For balance, Cancers need to return justice to the world, giving the offender equal suffering, which they will certainly do.

a lion

With representatives of this star tribe, you can forget about caution. Interested in how zodiac signs get offended, people read about Leos with surprise and inspiration. And the whole point is that kings should not react to some kind of stupidity. Leo may well ignore an offensive remark and turn away at the moment when they are trying to offend him. Why should he, a royal person, deal with the petty claims of mortals? Well, if you are persistent, he will roar so much that your legs will shake. This will be the end of the incident. Leos do not bother their heads with nonsense, they already have a lot of royal affairs, and even more plans. Particularly annoying offenders may be shown their fangs. But this rarely happens. Their authority is so indisputable that few people dare to annoy them.

Virgo

By studying touchiness according to zodiac signs, astrologers discovered a real psychological phenomenon. He is associated with Virgo. These people are basically not touchy. To touch them, you have to try very hard. If you still decide to offend Virgo, take care of the will first. And the point is not that the counterpart will harbor a grudge. Not at all. Virgos forget insults quickly, almost instantly. But they will act in accordance with their life principles. They will put the villain on all the black lists that have been going on since infancy. And those who are designated there are supposed to be rewarded according to their deeds. Revenge will inevitably overtake the offender, and even from the direction from which they did not expect. Life will seem completely destroyed, heart broken, ideals debunked and the like. This unfortunate man will also not be able to connect the catastrophe with the offended Virgo.

Scales

Here's Who to Focus on When You Study How People Get Offended various signs zodiac Libra loves to pout, deliberately showing the villain the full extent of his vile fall. These people don't know how to take revenge. But they will rush around with their resentment with desperate tenacity and taste. If you don’t apologize right away, get ready for censure from the “wide circles of the public.” Libra will definitely notify all their acquaintances and not so much about how heinously they were treated. Black gossip is their strong point. The story will drag on for many years. Libras are fundamentally opposed to evil, wherever it is found. It is important for them to eradicate it from the planet; they will spare no effort to do so. Try to clarify the relationship immediately, otherwise you will be included in the list of fiends of hell with all possible consequences.

Scorpion

Scorpio is the master of revenge. These people carefully collect and store evil towards themselves and resentment, like collectors. For every misdeed there will be retribution. This is not just a principle for them, but a passion. The offender will regret that he ever got involved with Scorpio. By the way, this is the only sign that does not disdain physical violence. He won’t wave his fists, but he can give a fight. Scorpios follow the trail of the offender more stubbornly than a greyhound chasing an animal. Their poison will certainly overtake the prey. The only person who is outside the risk zone is Scorpio's loved one. Everything will be forgiven for this person.

Sagittarius

There is no sign more peaceful. However, even these cuties can be seriously hurt. The result will be worse than when Scorpio was offended. Sagittarians will not plan revenge or sulk in corners. These are open and honest people, they will pour out their emotions on your head. The scandal will be as grandiose as the experiences of the affected Sagittarius. More than once during this phantasmagoria, the offender will come up with the idea of ​​using a rope with soap. Believe me, it is easier to give up your life than to withstand the angry outpourings of Sagittarius. Try to distract him by offering to travel together at your expense. Having heard about the upcoming trip to distant lands, Sagittarius will forget the differences. The second time, try not to run into his anger if you value the relationship. Sagittarius will go into the distance, not wanting to bother with the re-education of the “incorrigible” villain.

Capricorn

This is someone who is not inclined to react to other people's stupidity. Capricorn can only be offended by malicious criticism of his favorite project. In this case, you risk hitting his pre-sharpened horns. It is better to immediately approach the solution of the issue constructively, come up and explain. Five minutes of shame, as they say, and all problems are solved. Otherwise, you will know what Capricorn's revenge is. This man is patient and calm. He won't throw a tantrum, he won't make a scandal. Even communication will be the same as before. He'll wait. And when you need his support in an important matter, he will forget about the existence of such a person. In addition, Capricorns spend a lot of effort trying to win friendship powerful of the world this. These influential people will also forget about you under the influence of an offended Capricorn. The world will flow forward to success, and you will remain suffering on the shore.

Aquarius

Do you think that you have offended the person protected by this sign? In vain. Aquarius reacts negatively emotionally only to rejection of his brilliant ideas. Criticism hurts and worries him at the same time. He won’t figure it out, that’s not his character. First of all, Aquarius will doubt the mental abilities of the offender. Having drawn conclusions, he will decide that it is not worth wasting time on a fool. He will go where there are intellectuals who can appreciate his genius. Do not expect deceit or evil gossip from him behind his back. This person has already forgotten about your existence. His intellect is busy saving the world and generating global ideas. He doesn’t have time to think about the fools who dare to criticize his work. If you want to restore the relationship, you will have to take the initiative. Talk to Aquarius about the essence of the world, the depravity of humanity, prove that you have the right to his attention.

Fish

When figuring out how zodiac signs react to insults, don't miss out on the most important information. Pisces don't like to be offended, but they can. The representative of the sign is not malicious, but will not forgive immediately. The fish will pout its lips, carefully selecting facial expressions to demonstrate to the offender emotional condition. She will catch your eye, carefully monitoring the reaction. Are you not asking for forgiveness? Well, okay. Pisces will forgive, because anger causes wrinkles, and they don’t need that. But from this moment on, a different game will begin. The fish will try to prove to the whole world that they are angelic beings, and you are a demon in the flesh. Believe me, they have no equal in this matter. Before you know it, the public will be on the side of the offended Rybka, and you will already be anathema. Why did you persist, you ask? If they had said right away that they were wrong, everything would have ended before it even began. And now you are faced with a choice: either run to the ends of the earth, or prove that you didn’t jump out of hell.

This is how zodiac signs react to offenders. Astrologers tried to identify character traits. Naturally, each person has his own individual characteristics influencing behavior in stressful situations. Observations show that deviations from the given descriptions are at the level of statistical error. How do you react to insults? Did the description match your behavior? Write in the comments to correct the conclusions of stellar researchers.

This fun, humorous horoscope for today according to the zodiac signs can be used every day. Open this page every morning and good mood for the whole day guaranteed in full!

And for everyone who believes in happiness, we recommend reading our happy eastern horoscope by year of birth with recommendations from astrologers and poets. All our serious and funny horoscopes were written specifically for the “Favorite Holiday” website. Share them with friends, put links, but respect our authors - do not reprint our horoscopes. Thank you.

Cool, fun horoscope for today for Aries

Be active and decisive.

First, try doing some exercise.

So that your work does not go in vain, remember: if people are valued by their work, then a horse is better than any person.

Cool, fun horoscope for today for Taurus

Be careful. Before you do anything, think it through.

Measure seven times and only then cut eight times.

The seventy-first time you will succeed.

The stars do not advise kissing your secretary in the presence of your wife.

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Cool, fun horoscope for today for Gemini

New things await you.

Remember: even the stupidest idea can be executed masterfully.

And don't be afraid to do what you don't know how to do.

After all, the ark was built by amateurs. Professionals built the Titanic.

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Cool, fun horoscope for today for Cancer

Life is good... hic... Repeat this, spreading red caviar on the bread in a thick layer. Or black.

But don’t rush to pour vodka.

Remember: alcohol is a time machine.

I drank and it's tomorrow.

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Cool, fun horoscope for today for Leo

Talk less, listen more.

It’s better to remain silent and grunt with pleasure.

Your income will be higher than your expenses. Because there will be no expenses at all.

Get a piggy bank and grunt together.

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Cool, non-boring horoscope for today for Virgo

You will be thrown from one extreme to another.

First, the boss will call you on the carpet and scream like a pack of crocodiles.

In five minutes, he will offer you the position that you have been seeking for a long time.

Agree!

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Cool, non-boring horoscope for today for Libra

You will be on horseback.

Everyone else will probably have to travel on foot.

You may feel out of place.

The stars advise you to break the plate, get off the horse, break the plate, get off the horse and finally exchange it... for a bicycle.

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Cool, fun horoscope for today for Scorpio

You will have a romantic date.

Enjoy, forgetting about everything in the world....

When Sveta starts getting ready to go home, pretend to be asleep.

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Cool, fun horoscope for today for Sagittarius

Your mood will jump.

From TV to cabinet, from cabinet to table.

Try to catch him anyway.

Stand somewhere in the corner and ask: “Kolis! Who are you working for?!”

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Cool, fun horoscope for today for Capricorn

Your sixth sense will not let you down. It will say: "Enough!"

The other five senses will fail.

They will say something absurd, but you will understand them.

Because after the fifth glass, a Russian person is able not only to understand the Chinese language, but also to forgive it.

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Cool, not boring horoscope for today for Aquarius

Everything will be given to you with ease.

Even a visit to the dentist.

At first you will be very afraid. Then it turns out that his drill is broken.

But don’t relax and remember: if you are happy for more than one day, it means they are hiding something from you.

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Cool, fun horoscope for today for Pisces

A creative upsurge lies ahead of you.

Stock up on climbing equipment in advance.

Already stocked up?.. Then full speed ahead!

To conquer the next height!... Just don’t shout later" “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawonsssssssss from being a chess player"

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Comic horoscopes lift your spirits, but they also contain some truth. Find out which life principles characteristic of your Zodiac Sign. Among the funny offers you can find useful information and change for the better.

Horoscopes, no matter how humorous they are, are based on the observations of astrologers. It is known that planets and constellations influence the character and behavior of people, which means that the jokes are not so far from the truth. The site team compiled the site for you funny horoscope, in which the characteristics of each Zodiac Sign fit into short and succinct expressions. We hope that they will help you not only lift your spirits, but also get rid of your weaknesses.

Aries

Aries can characterize themselves. Capacious phrases fully reflect their contradictory and purposeful essence.

  1. There's no use arguing with me. You can't convince me.
  2. I will do it first, and then I will think.
  3. I don’t slow down where everyone else is slowing down.
  4. I will remain young forever, because becoming an adult is boring.
  5. You can do the same thing as me. You won't be able to do better anyway.
  6. Please speak faster. I don't have the patience to listen to you.
  7. My stubbornness is not a vice, it was simply born before me.
  8. It is much easier to control any situation than emotions.
  9. I won’t hit you first, but you better not touch me.
  10. It’s good to be honest - unnecessary people themselves stop communicating with me.

Taurus

If Taurus could describe themselves in a humorous way, they could use the following phrases.

  1. I never waste money on buying things, but I always spend money on entertainment.
  2. I don’t need someone else’s, and don’t you dare touch what’s mine.
  3. It's better to be bad friends than to have good quarrels.
  4. It is better to stay in the familiar comfort of four walls than to admire the colors of nature.
  5. Food is a wonderful invention of mankind.
  6. It's better to go second to save energy.
  7. Taste delicious dishes and wine is my passion.
  8. Be affectionate and then you can achieve more than others.
  9. There is no need to pull someone who is well settled.
  10. Disposable things were invented for disposable people.

Twins

Ten succinct phrases that reveal their character and behavior will suit restless Geminis.

  1. Today I am again different from who I was yesterday.
  2. Being in control of the situation is useful - you get more information.
  3. One mind is good, but two are better. Especially if both belong to you.
  4. Today I'm here, tomorrow I'm there.
  5. Ideas should not gather dust on shelves with old books.
  6. If you didn’t make it, it means you’re late. We need to speed up.
  7. You need to move quickly through life so as not to get bogged down in “textures.”
  8. I rarely answer for my words, but with humor.
  9. I don’t have enough time for quality, so I take quantity.
  10. There should be more means of communication.

Cancer

Cancers will be able to recognize themselves and their behavior patterns by the following interesting phrases, which in a humorous form reflect their style of behavior.

  1. Life is difficult only where it is impossible to hide in a secluded place.
  2. Behind the stone walls of my fortress, I am invulnerable to the cruel world.
  3. Supplies need to be replenished so that they never run out.
  4. Being a nanny is great. And it doesn’t matter how old your ward is.
  5. If you know how to wait, happiness will eventually find you on its own.
  6. You need to meet friends at home, and not walk around cafes.
  7. An abundance of food in the refrigerator is real happiness.
  8. Money should be spent only on quality things.
  9. My past is always with me. And it doesn’t bother me at all.
  10. Ten years is not a long time for good quality clothes.

a lion

Proud Leos do not always agree with the characteristics that people around them give them. However, in every joke there is some truth that is worth listening to.

  1. It is much more pleasant to help people than to find yourself in the role of someone asking for help.
  2. Follow me, I know the right path.
  3. Good manners- the key to personal success.
  4. The sun shines exclusively for Leo.
  5. It's nice to earn good money, but it's much nicer to spend it.
  6. A dictator sometimes needs to be hidden behind a mask of prudence and benevolence.
  7. I don’t understand how you can not admire me.
  8. I need more gold, more pathos and more admiring glances.
  9. Even if the item is not needed, I must have it. Especially if it is expensive and looks gorgeous.
  10. The sign on my office door must be immaculate.

Virgo

Virgos sometimes need to look at themselves from the outside in order to change their attitude towards life. Ten humorous phrases will help you with this.

  1. If you work hard, good things will definitely come of it.
  2. All things must be in their place.
  3. Modesty adorns any Virgo.
  4. Logic should be in everything, even in love.
  5. Everything should look perfect. No crookedly hanging pictures.
  6. You need to live not only for yourself, but also to help others.
  7. Large scales are scary - it’s difficult to bring order to them.
  8. Beauty will save the world, especially if you create it with your own hands
  9. There is no need to throw away old things. They can come in handy at the most unexpected moment.
  10. Less difficulties, more routine.

Scales

For Libra, the following statements may be familiar. Perhaps they will help you doubt less and change your behavior for the better.

  1. Any task must be done with the appropriate mood.
  2. You can win by agreeing.
  3. Making a choice is one of the most difficult and tiring tasks.
  4. Politeness can move mountains.
  5. Beauty should be in everything: in the image, in the home, and in the workplace.
  6. Information is needed like air.
  7. Laziness is the engine of progress.
  8. One of the stupidest things to do is argue. It takes up too much energy.
  9. Doubts sometimes help to avoid troubles.
  10. Not all i's need to be dotted.

Scorpion

If Scorpios could talk about themselves in succinct short phrases, then the following expressions would suit them.

  1. You need a good reason to smile.
  2. It’s a pity that sometimes there is no one to “sting”.
  3. This world is short of knights.
  4. I am like a cactus: flowers open only for a select few.
  5. Revenge should be served cold, but only to those who truly deserve it.
  6. Even if there is a hurricane inside you, remain calm on the outside.
  7. The world needs stations to refuel people with emotions.
  8. You need to go through a break, even through a windfall.
  9. People are like books: you just have to open them.
  10. You need to constantly take risks, otherwise there will be nothing to remember in old age.

Sagittarius

Sagittarians could make a presentation of themselves and their character in the following humorous expressions.

  1. Those who have it feel remorse. Mine doesn't bite.
  2. There’s no point in panicking ahead of time, I’ll figure it out when the pressure comes.
  3. The spirit of competition allows you to be better in everything.
  4. Do you want to cheer yourself up? Ask me how.
  5. I forgive everyone I owe.
  6. Argument is another opportunity to show off your intellect.
  7. I am not obligatory, but I am immensely charming.
  8. I'm throwing it around for free and professionally.
  9. I know how to become a philosopher in five minutes.
  10. Commitments save more than one life.

Capricorn

For Capricorns, whom people may not understand, the site’s experts have selected the following funny sayings. We hope that they will help lift your spirits and smile more often.

  1. Even one in the field can be a warrior.
  2. The laws of meanness work for me.
  3. I'm like cognac: I only get better with age.
  4. It's good to talk about beautiful places and countries while sitting at home.
  5. Financial Advisor. Long, expensive, with a guarantee.
  6. You can allow yourself to drop from the top if you have been climbing it all your life.
  7. Life is a train that stops at its stations exactly according to the schedule.
  8. If necessary, I can become the head of the Universe
  9. There is no place for sprints in my life. I am a true marathon runner.
  10. You can gore anyone with stubbornness.

Aquarius

Ten sentences characterizing Gemini may seem naive, but for many representatives of this Sign they can be useful.

  1. There is no greater boredom than being like others.
  2. I come up with ideals myself.
  3. Living with prejudices is for fools.
  4. Everything will be great in the future.
  5. Be an angel? Why not?
  6. Sometimes a good intention is enough. It is not necessary to do this.
  7. Family is great, but friends are more important.
  8. There are no lonely thoughts in my head. They make friends and create chaos.
  9. I can be in several places at once because good man there must be a lot.
  10. Life should have stops, not quiet havens.

Fish

Pisces, with their world of illusions and reluctance to explain their behavior, can use the following pithy phrases.

  1. My profession is to sympathize professionally.
  2. There is no need to put off until tomorrow what can be done the day after tomorrow.
  3. I can promise. I love it, I can do it, I practice it. But I won’t rush to do it.
  4. I understand everyone, but not myself.
  5. Don't put pressure on me, otherwise I will disappear.
  6. Yes, I am busy, but few can understand.
  7. We need more handkerchiefs and vest people.
  8. Food needs to be chewed, work needs to be done.
  9. Maintaining order in the house - who needs it?
  10. The world of illusions and fantasies is beautiful. There is no need to leave him for a long time.

A humorous horoscope can reflect your inner state. In any case, you shouldn’t ignore even funny statements about your Sign. Be careful in your actions and desires so that there is no room for disappointment in your life. Attract good luck into your life and be happy. We wish you all the best, and don't forget to press the buttons and

Funny horoscope 3.50 /5 (4 votes)

Aries is an emotional bastard.

If he is passionate about something, he does not bother to explain his actions to others, he simply acts as he sees fit. Pride does not allow asking for forgiveness. I am convinced that the truth is in him.
Excuses: “Something came up”, “Damn confused me” etc.

Taurus is a greedy bastard.

We are obsessed with the idea of ​​purchasing. A purposeful avenger, he always calculates the trajectory of the strike to be sure.
Excuses: "You are worthy of such a fate".

Geminis are a careless bastard.

Loves games, jokes, fun companies. The eternal dichotomy of evil and good. For the sake of a joke, he devalues ​​rules and traditions, depriving them of drama, sincerely not understanding what he is doing and quickly forgets about it.
Excuses: “Are you offended? WHY?"

Cancer is a miserable bastard.

Because of his vulnerability, vulnerability, receptivity, he is always an “angel-like creature” who innocently suffered, while his opponent is a monster in “devilish guise”, even if Cancer himself is a champion in nastiness and dirty tricks. He will also make sure that the whole world knows how unfairly you treated him.
Excuses: “It’s your fault that I’m like this!”

Leo is a pompous bastard.

Well, everything is clear here, the crown is pressing, the greatness of the world is being distorted. Everything is divided into “He” and “the rest.” He is great, the others are dust underfoot.
Excuses: “I wanted it that way.”

Virgo is a vindictive bastard.

In the eternal pursuit of perfection, impeccability and correctness, he paints his portrait of “God in the flesh on earth”, such a walking messiah, and don’t let you be careless in speaking unsatisfactorily and unfavorably about her. He may wait long and hard for the right chance to remember.
Excuses: Triumphantly "Do you remember …"

Libra is a mercantile bastard.

Windy and changeable. Great virtuosos get out of sticky situations. A real politician, pursuing his own interests, will promise, lie, or slander if necessary.
Excuses: none. Nacoyotil and disappeared.

Scorpio is a first-class bastard.

Those who like to create a veil of mystery around themselves such that they themselves become entangled in it, plus an unquenchable thirst for the ideal clouds their mind, forcing them to position themselves as an instrument of justice and retribution. If, from their point of view, you have violated some rules, you must be punished.
Excuses: none.

Sagittarius is a cantankerous bastard.

A very complex creature, eager to prove himself in the field of social activity and, quite successfully, in this matter. Tram squabbles, market squabbles, all kinds of quarrels and conflicts in which you can relieve your soul - this is his element.
Excuses: raised tone, meaningless text, obscene language.

Capricorn is a clueless bastard.

Just as an ostrich hides its head in the sand, believing that there is no danger, so a capricorn, with its horns resting “in anywhere”, does not want to see, feel and make decisions. Moreover, he firmly believes that if he persists in this way, the problem will resolve itself, and even according to his scenario, and when he sees the ashes around him, he will be stupidly surprised: “How did this happen?”
Excuses: "It happened".