Very often in the world we do not know how to properly organize the funeral of a deceased person close to us. And when is it supposed to remember the dead? It is no secret that there are certain rituals when the deceased are remembered on the second day after the funeral, on 9 days from the date of death, on 40 days and on the anniversary; we have already written about all this separately. But questions often arise about whether it is possible – and should it be – to organize a wake for the deceased, six months after death, and also how exactly to do such a wake, and today we will talk about this in detail.

Orthodox Christians often commemorate deceased relatives in temples and churches often, without strictly paying attention to dates. After all, the main thing in prayer is the repose of the soul of the deceased person. And in the bustle Everyday life very often people forget about the need to come to church and light a candle for the repose. And many do not even know how to properly remember the dead after six months have passed from the date of death.

How to hold a wake six months from the date of death?

Although there is no church certain rules There are no prohibitions on how to hold a wake for six months from the date of death and who should be invited to them, and there are no prohibitions on organizing a wake for half a year, but there are also no regulations that these funerals should be organized.

Nevertheless, it never hurts to pray and remember the deceased with a kind word, even if this date is not official and obligatory. After all, the souls of the departed do not need laudatory toasts and dishes, the main thing is that prayers be heard for them.

How to properly remember the dead in church

To properly remember the deceased for six months, you need to come to church for the evening service or before the start of the Liturgy. You can prepare at home or in the temple itself and submit special notes with the names of the deceased. At the same time, you need to know that the names of only baptized deceased Christians are indicated.

At the top of the note you need to put an Orthodox octagonal cross, write the title “On Repose” and write the names. In this case, the name must be written in the genitive case, and the name must also be written in full: Maria, Anatoly.

“Masha and Tolya” - such entries are not allowed. During the service, the deceased are commemorated while particles are removed from the prosphora. You can independently pray for the departed during the funeral litany. Or put a candle in front of a canon with a crucifix.

Your prayer for a deceased relative will be more effective if you approach the sacrament during the service.

Also on the day of the funeral, donations must be brought to the temple. Give alms to a beggar, asking him to pray for the deceased.

Organization of a memorial table for six months from the date of death

Christians have long had a custom of commemorating deceased relatives at meals, which we have already written about in detail in previous articles. You just need to remember that on this day everyone gathers at the table not to meet with family and eat delicious food. The purpose of the wake is to read prayers for the soul of the deceased.

Before eating in honor of the deceased for six months from the date of death, lithium must be performed. This is part of the worship performed in churches, and can be performed by a simple Christian. As a last resort, you need to read Psalm 90 and the Lord’s Prayer.

Or read the prayer at home: “O Lord, rest in peace the souls of your departed servants and all my departed relatives and benefactors, and forgive them all their sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.” It is advisable for everyone who has gathered for the funeral to read the prayer together. And you should start your meal during a funeral with kutya or koliva. These are rice grains boiled with raisins and honey.

All hosts try to treat their guests well, but we must remember that fasting should be observed during the wake. And after prayer you can raise a small glass of wine. At the same time, everyone understands that it doesn’t matter to the deceased how much vodka we drank and how much meat we ate, the main thing is to remember the deceased with a kind word.

What to do for six months of wakes?

Six months have passed since the death of someone close to you. The pain of loss has subsided a little, but a good memory remains. On the day of the funeral, you can serve the deceased’s favorite dishes and give some things of the deceased to relatives in memory of him.

In the morning at home, on the day of the funeral, light a candle for six months from the date of death, place a photograph of the deceased next to the icon and read a prayer. If there is a service in the temple on this day, then before the service begins, go to the temple and, after giving a donation to the temple, buy a candle.

Order a funeral service right there in the church, and you must submit a note with the name of the deceased. After you have completed the service, you need to buy another candle and then you can go to the cemetery.

When you come to the grave of the deceased, you need to light a candle, and bring some food and place it on the grave. At the same time, there is a belief that the soul of a deceased person is nearby on Memorial Day, hovering in the clouds. Therefore, the funeral prayer will be very important. Everyone who came to the grave can be invited home to the funeral table.

At home, after reading the prayer, you can sit at the table and remember the deceased. In this case, one must take into account fasting and refrain from drinking alcoholic beverages.

Dishes served during funerals six months after the death of a relative

During the wake, traditional dishes such as kutia, honey syta and a variety of jelly were served on the table in Rus'. Lunch began with kutia, and always ended with jelly and a full meal.

Depending on the regions of residence, traditional dishes during funerals were served for six months in the northern regions of Russia, fish pie, and in southern regions pancakes. Nowadays, more and more often, cafes and restaurants have a special menu for funeral tables. The church does not prohibit such commemorations, but it is advisable to adhere to fasts and set the funeral table without alcoholic beverages.

The most honorable place for the deceased is always left on the funeral table, since it is still believed that at this time the deceased is nearby and these are his guests. A bowl and cup are left for him and the following words are said: “Come, dear, eat with us!”

Food must be lean if the funeral is held on Friday or Wednesday. If the wake falls on , then it can only be organized on Saturday or Sunday.

In Rus', the funeral meal was usually completed with a pie. Which was brought out on a large platter. There were candles around the pie, after they were extinguished, this pie was distributed to the poor to commemorate the soul of the deceased.

Funeral kutia (kolivo, sochivo, eve)

To prepare kutya, you need to soak the washed wheat grains overnight, then cook them until tender and season with diluted honey or sugar. Washed and dried raisins are added to the grains. Instead of wheat, you can use rice to make koliv.

Refreshments at the funeral meal

Ham rolls with cheese and garlic

Compound. 300 gr. Cut the ham into thin slices, boil the eggs and separate the whites from the yolks. Grate the eggs, grate the yolks finely, and the whites coarsely. Combine egg whites, chopped garlic and herbs with mayonnaise.

Place the mixture on a slice of ham and roll it up. Dip the roll in mayonnaise and roll in grated yolks and place on a plate.

Tomatoes stuffed with fish salad

To prepare this snack you need to take 4-5 tomatoes, a jar canned fish, boil 5 eggs, herbs, pepper and salt.

Cut the tops of the washed tomatoes and carefully scoop out the pulp with a teaspoon. Grate the eggs and combine with the tomato pulp. Mash the canned food with a spoon and mix with mayonnaise. Pepper and salt the tomatoes. Combine the egg and fish mixture and place in the tomatoes. Garnish with herbs or grated cheese on top.

Eggplants with tomatoes and garlic for the funeral table

Preparation: you need to wash 3-4 eggplants, 4-5 tomatoes, 4 cloves of garlic, parsley, cilantro, salt and pepper.

Drain the washed vegetables and cut into slices 0.6-0.8 mm thick.

Fry eggplants on sunflower oil on both sides and place on a napkin to remove excess oil. Place them on a plate and top with pieces of tomato, chopped garlic and herbs.

Salad “Spring freshness”

To prepare this salad you will need 1 cucumber, 2-3 tomatoes, 4 pcs. radishes, 1 tablespoon of granular cottage cheese and 2-3 tablespoons of yogurt, greens. Add salt to taste.

Chop the washed and dried vegetables into strips, chop the greens and put everything in a salad bowl, add cottage cheese, season with yogurt, and add salt.

Meat in French for the funeral table

Compound
pork - 400-500 g,

onions - 3-4 pieces,

hard cheese - 200-300 g,

mayonnaise - 400 g,

pepper, salt, herbs.

To make meat in French for a funeral table for six months, cut the meat along the grain into layers 1 cm thick. Beat these pieces, add salt and pepper. Place tightly together on a greased baking sheet. Place onion, cut into half rings, on each layer; you can add mushrooms or potatoes.

Pour generously of mayonnaise and sprinkle with grated cheese. This dish is baked at 180°C. Within 25 minutes.

Lenten dishes served at funerals

Fish jelly

Prepare 1 kg. fish of different varieties. Shred it and cut it into pieces.

Pour 1.5 liters of water into a saucepan and cook the fish waste. Add 1 carrot, 1 pc. to the bowl. onions, salt and pepper and add pieces of fish to this broth. Cook it until done. Place the fish on a dish and pour over the strained broth with the addition of gelatin. And place in a cool place to harden.

Potato salad with pickled mushrooms and green peas

Peel 8-9 boiled potatoes in their jackets and cut into cubes. Chop the pickled mushrooms. Peel the onion and cut into half rings. Liquid from a jar with green peas drain and put everything in a salad bowl. Season with vegetable oil. Season with salt and add as desired. Greenery.

Eggplant stuffed with mushrooms

To prepare this luda you need to take 2 pcs. eggplant, 2 pcs. bell pepper, 1 PC. onions, 2 pcs. tomato, 150 gr. Champignon mushrooms, 2-3 cloves of garlic, parsley or cilantro, walnuts, vegetable oil, salt pepper.

Eggplants should be cut into halves lengthwise and the pulp should be removed with a teaspoon. Place the eggplants on a baking sheet greased with oil and salt each of the “boats” inside.

Fry finely chopped peppers, onions, and eggplant pulp in a frying pan. At the end of cooking, add grated tomatoes without skin. Separately fry the champignons and combine them with vegetables.

When the eggplant “boats” are ready, fill them with filling and sprinkle grated nuts on top.

How to prepare funeral apple jelly

To prepare funeral apple jelly, pour 1.5 liters of water into a saucepan and bring to a boil. Place 5-9 pieces in water. apples cut into small pieces and add a piece of cinnamon. Boil over low heat for 5-7 minutes.

Then strain this broth and rub the apples through a sieve. Add them to the broth and put 250-300 grams in it. sugar, and squeeze the juice of 1/2 lemon. Boil this mixture, gradually add 1/2 cup of flour and quickly stir everything. Let cool and serve.

We hope that our article will help you in organizing a memorial for six months from the date of death of your close relatives, and also read (anniversary) and, and also about which days you should not commemorate.

Hello! Today we will reveal very important topic: How to correctly remember the deceased on the day of death, for 9, 40 days, what memorial Saturdays are, how to remember on Radonitsa and much more.

Where does the soul go?

According to Church Tradition, based on the sayings of Jesus Christ, the souls of the righteous await their destiny at the gates of heaven, until Last Judgment. Then eternal bliss awaits them. The souls of sinners are redirected to demons, where they will “cook” “in hell, in torment.”

What does the Last Judgment mean? It is where souls are determined. Sinners who did not do good deeds will be condemned, and those who repented of their sins and then lived righteously will be justified.

What stages does the soul go through?

According to Holy Scripture, for the first 2 days the soul of the deceased is still on Earth. Accompanied by Angels, she wanders through those places where a person committed righteous or unrighteous deeds, where he experienced earthly sorrows or joys. On the third day, the soul ascends to heaven to appear before God. On this day, a memorial service is held in the temple for the soul of the deceased.

In the following days, Angels lead the soul to heaven to contemplate unprecedented beauty. This happens from the 3rd to the 9th day. On the 9th day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to the Almighty for worship.

The Holy Church again earnestly prays for the soul of the newly deceased. Then the Angels accompany her to hell to contemplate the cruelest torment of sinners who have not repented of their actions.

On the 40th day, the soul ascends for the third time to the Creator, where its destiny is decided. She is transported to the place she has earned through her deeds. Therefore, in these days, especially in the 40th, it is necessary to pray fervently and remember the newly deceased.

In prayers one must ask for forgiveness of sins and the inclusion of the soul of the deceased with the Saints in paradise. On these days, memorial services and litias are celebrated in the Church.

Memorial service on day 3

The memorial service on the 3rd day is performed to commemorate the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity. The commemoration for 9 days is performed in honor of the 9 angelic ranks. Angels these days ask for mercy for the deceased.

Funeral meal on day 9

On day 9, the funeral meal resembles a family dinner. A photograph of the deceased is placed on the table, a glass of water and a piece of bread are placed next to it. On the 40th day everyone who wishes to honor the memory of the deceased is invited. Often those who were unable to attend the funeral come.

Funeral for 40 days

The 40-day commemoration is performed in honor of the forty-day mourning of the Israelis over the death of Moses. Jesus Christ also ascended to heaven on the fortieth day after the Resurrection.

Therefore, the Church has established: to perform commemoration on the 40th day after the death of the deceased, so that his soul ascends to the holy Mount Sinai, appears before the Almighty, and settles in the villages in Heaven with the Saints.

Through prayer, God forgives the deceased, relieving him of many sins or completely justifying him.

These days it is necessary to pray especially earnestly, helping the deceased to pass all the tests:

• submit notes to the Church for commemoration at the Liturgy and Panikhida;
• at home, invite relatives to pray for the deceased.

People often ask: should we hold funeral services for six months? This is not mandatory; the decision is made by the relatives of the deceased. A funeral date is not a reason for a party. Orthodox Christians arrange a modest family dinner, without unnecessary conversation, with warm memories of the deceased, that’s all that is required on days of mourning.

Godins. How to celebrate?

A year later, on the day of death, relatives and friends gather again for a memorial meal. They remember the righteous deeds that the deceased performed in his life and express condolences.

By Orthodox canons They remember only people who underwent the rite of Baptism. The Church does not pray for the unbaptized, suicides, non-Orthodox, heretics. The unbaptized, after saying goodbye to the place where he lived, is taken to the cemetery, bypassing the Church.

How to mark a death anniversary

) function runError() (

On the anniversary of death, they always visit the cemetery, then gather in a close family circle. It is advisable to arrive at the cemetery before 12:00. You can give out alms - these are sweets, pies, good things of the deceased.

Wreaths made from fake flowers were banned by the Synod back in the last century. In Christianity, it is forbidden to bring anything to a grave. You can light candles and lay fresh flowers.

Any anniversary of death is held only for the closest people. A leisurely, calm atmosphere, even quiet music is possible, photographs on the table are a worthy way to honor the memory. Often the meal is spent at home, but it is also possible in a cafe.

How to write in a note - newly deceased and ever-memorable?

The deceased is called newly deceased within 40 days after death. They are called ever-memorable after forty days.

The word “ever” means always. And the ever-memorable, that is, for whom they always remember and pray. During the time of year, you should write in the church note: “of ever-memorable one.”

How to set the table

During any funeral, it is customary to place an even number of dishes on the table. Forks are most often excluded, but if the family of the deceased wishes to serve forks, this is not prohibited.

Among the dishes considered obligatory are pancakes, honey, cabbage soup, second course, porridge, fish, etc. fast days- peas, pies, compote and definitely jelly. In Orthodoxy, it is customary to place a kutya consecrated in the temple on the table.

If your conscience torments you, what should you do?

After death loved one many suffer from the fact that during life they treated the deceased incorrectly. What to do in this case? The Church recommends coming, confessing, and cleansing your soul. Most often the person gets relief.

Then don’t forget to pray, give alms, church notes for the repose of the departed, spend your days doing charitable deeds, and take care of others.

It is especially important to pray for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased before the Last Judgment of God. It is on the 40th day that the soul will receive its assigned place.

On the day of death, it would be correct to order the magpie in the temple, and then commemorate it for a year. You can visit several temples at once.

Why is Parents' Saturday important?

On a specially designated Saturday, the Church commemorates all dead Christians. This day is called Ecumenical Parental Saturday. Almost all parental Saturdays do not have a fixed date; they are associated with the celebration of Easter.

Meat Saturday occurs 8 days before the start of Lent. Parents' Saturdays occur on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th week. They remember mom, dad, relatives. We need to pray for the repose of the deceased even after parental Saturdays.

Memorial Saturday- this is any Saturday in the calendar. Saturday days (except for Great Saturday, Saturday on Bright Week and Saturdays coinciding with the twelve, great and temple holidays) are considered days of remembrance of the dead. These days, parents and all the dead are remembered.

Nine days after Easter, Tuesday after Holy Week comes . On this day, our Savior descended into hell to announce victory over death and brought the souls of the righteous out of hell. Go to the cemetery, remember your mom, dad, all your relatives, close people, light candles, put fresh flowers on the grave.

How to pray for a dead baby?

Infants are also buried and memorial services are served for them. It is important to know that in prayers they do not ask for the forgiveness of sins, since they do not yet have consciously committed sins. For the child they ask the Almighty to vouchsafe him the Kingdom of Heaven.

Is the birthday of the deceased celebrated?

Our ancestors never celebrated the birthday of the deceased. If a person died on his birthday, then the date of birth was not marked in any way. Remembering the soul on its birthday, relatives involuntarily pull it to the ground, that is, they do not give peace to the deceased.

You cannot pour alcohol on a grave, it insults the deceased. Let us honor Orthodox traditions too.

On what days are the dead remembered? Is it possible to perform funeral services for suicides? How to pray for deceased parents? Archpriest Igor FOMIN answered the most common questions about how to properly remember the dead.

What prayer should we use to remember the dead? How often do we remember the dead?

Christians remember their dead every day. In every prayer book you can find a prayer for the departed; it is an integral part of home prayer rule. You can also remember the departed by reading the Psalter. Every day Christians read one kathisma from the Psalter. And in one of the chapters we remember our relatives (relatives), friends who have gone to the Lord.

Why remember the dead?

The fact is that life continues after death. Moreover, the final fate of a person is decided not after death, but at the second coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, which we are all waiting for. Therefore, before the second coming we can still change this fate. When we are alive, we can do this ourselves by doing good deeds and believing in Christ. Having died, we can no longer influence our own afterlife, but this can be done by people who remember us and have heart problems. The best way to change the posthumous fate of the deceased is a prayer for him.

When are the dead remembered? On what days are the dead commemorated? At what time of day can you remember?

The time of day when one can remember the deceased is not regulated by the Church. Eat folk traditions, which go back to paganism and clearly prescribe how and at what hour to remember the dead - but they have nothing to do with Christian prayer. God lives in space without time, and we can reach heaven at any moment of the day or night.
The church established special days commemoration of those who are dear to us and have passed on to another world - the so-called Parental Saturdays. There are several of them a year, and all but one (May 9 - Commemoration of Dead Soldiers) have a moving date:
Meat Saturday (Ecumenical Parental Saturday) March 5, 2016.
Saturday of the 2nd week of Lent, March 26, 2016.
Saturday of the 3rd week of Lent, April 2, 2016.
Saturday of the 4th week of Lent, April 9, 2016.
Radonitsa May 10, 2016
May 9 - Commemoration of deceased soldiers
Trinity Saturday (Saturday before the holiday of Trinity). June 18, 2016.
Saturday Dimitrievskaya (Saturday before the day of memory of Dmitry Solunsky, which is celebrated on November 8). November 5, 2016.
In addition to Parental Saturdays, the deceased are remembered in church at every service - at the proskomedia, part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it. Before the Liturgy, you can submit notes “of remembrance.” The note contains the name with which the person was baptized, in the genitive case.

How do you remember for 9 days? How do you remember for 40 days? How to remember for six months? How to remember for a year?

The ninth and fortieth days from the day of death are special milestones on the path from earthly life to eternal life. This transition does not occur immediately, but gradually. During this period (until the fortieth day), the deceased person gives an answer to the Lord. This moment is extremely important for the deceased, it is akin to childbirth, birth little man. Therefore, during this period the deceased needs our help. By prayer, good deeds, changing oneself in better side in honor and memory of someone close to us.
For six months, such a church commemoration does not exist. But there will be nothing bad if you remember it for six months, for example, by coming to the temple to pray.
An anniversary is a day of remembrance when we, those who loved a person, come together. The Lord commanded us: Where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them (Matthew 18:20). And joint remembrance, when we read a prayer for relatives and friends who are no longer with us, is a bright, resounding testimony to the Lord that the dead are not forgotten, that they are loved.

Should I remember on my birthday?

Yes, I believe that a person should be remembered on his birthday. The moment of birth is one of the significant, great stages in everyone’s life, so it will be good if you go to church, pray at home, go to the cemetery to remember the person.

Is it possible to perform funeral services for suicides? How to remember suicides?

The question of funeral services and church commemoration of suicides is very controversial. The fact is that the sin of suicide is one of the gravest. This is a sign of a person's distrust of God.
Each such case must be considered separately, because there are different types of suicides - conscious or unconscious, that is, in a state of serious mental disorder. The question of whether it is possible to have a funeral service and commemorate a baptized person who committed suicide in a church rests entirely with the responsibility of the ruling bishop. If a tragedy happened to one of your loved ones, you need to come to the ruling bishop of the region where the deceased lived and ask permission for a funeral service. The bishop will consider this question and give you an answer.

As for home prayer, you can certainly remember a person who committed suicide. But the most important thing is to do good deeds in his honor and memory.

What can you remember? Can you remember it with vodka? Why are they remembered with pancakes?

Trizny, funeral meals, came to us from time immemorial. But in ancient times they looked different. This was a treat, a feast not for the relatives of the deceased, but for the poor, crippled, orphans, that is, those who need help and would never be able to arrange such a meal for themselves.
Unfortunately, over time, the feast turned from a matter of mercy into an ordinary home feast, often with copious amounts of alcohol...
Of course, such libations have nothing to do with real Christian commemoration and have no bearing on posthumous fate they cannot influence the deceased.

How to remember an unbaptized person?

A person who did not want to unite himself with the Church of Christ, naturally, cannot be commemorated in church. His posthumous fate remains at the discretion of the Lord, and we cannot influence the situation here in any way.
Unbaptized relatives can be remembered by praying for them at home and doing good deeds in their honor and memory. Try to change your life for the better, be faithful to Christ, remembering all the good things that the one who died unbaptized did during his life.

How are Muslims remembered? How are Jews remembered? How are Catholics remembered?

In this matter it makes no difference whether the deceased was a Muslim, a Catholic or a Jew. They are not in the bosom of the Orthodox Church, therefore they are remembered as unbaptized. Their names cannot be written in notes for the proskomedia (the proskomedia is part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it), but in their memory you can do good deeds and pray at home.

How to remember the dead in church?

In the temple, all those dead who united themselves with the Church of Christ in the Sacrament of Baptism are remembered. Even if a person for some reason did not go to church during his life, but was baptized, he can and should be remembered. Before the Divine Liturgy, you can submit a note “for proskomedia.”
Proskomedia is the part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it. At the proskomedia, bread and wine are prepared for the future Sacrament of Communion - the transfusion of bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ. On it, not only the future Body of Christ (the Lamb is a large prosphora) and the future Blood of Christ for the Sacrament (wine) are prepared, but also a prayer is read for Christians - living or dead. For the Mother of God, the saints and us, ordinary believers, particles are taken out from the prosphora. Pay attention when they give you a small prosphora after Communion - it’s as if “someone picked out a piece” from it. It is the priest who takes out particles from the prosphoras for each name written in the note “for proskomedia.”
At the end of the Liturgy, pieces of bread, symbolizing the souls of living or dead Christians, are immersed in a chalice with the Blood of Christ. The priest at this moment reads the prayer “Wash away, Lord, the sins of those remembered here by Thy Blood through the honest prayers of Thy saints.”
Also in churches there are special memorial services - requiems. You can submit a separate note for the memorial service. But it is important not only to submit a note, but also to try to be personally present at the service where it will be read. You can find out about the time of this service from the temple servants, to whom a note is given.

How to remember the dead at home?

In every prayer book you can find a prayer for the departed; it is an integral part of the home prayer rule. You can also remember the departed by reading the Psalter. Every day Christians read one kathisma from the Psalter. And in one of the chapters we remember our relatives (relatives), friends who have gone to the Lord.

How to commemorate during Lent?

During Lent, there are special days of remembrance of the dead - Parents' Saturdays and Sunday, when full (as opposed to shortened on other days of Lent) Divine Liturgies are served. During these services, a proskomedia commemoration of the dead is performed, when for each person a piece is taken out of a large prosphora, symbolizing his soul.

How to remember the newly deceased?

From the first day of a person’s repose, the Psalter is read over his body. If the deceased is a priest, then the Gospel is read. The Psalter must continue to be read even after the funeral - until the fortieth day.
The newly deceased is also remembered at the funeral service. The funeral service is supposed to take place on the third day after death, and it is important that it is carried out not in absentia, but over the body of the deceased. The fact is that all those who loved the person come to the funeral service, and their prayer is special, conciliar.
You can also remember the newly deceased with a sacrifice. For example, distribute his good, high-quality things to those in need - clothes, household items. This can be done from the first day after a person’s death.

When should you remember your parents?

There are no special days in the Church when we need to remember our parents, those who gave us life. Parents can always be remembered. And on Parents’ Saturdays in church, and every day at home, and by submitting notes “for proskomedia.” You can turn to the Lord at any day and hour, He will definitely hear you.

How to remember animals?

It is not customary to remember animals in Christianity. The teaching of the Church says that eternal life is prepared only for man, since only man has the soul for which we pray.

The man didn't die - he just left...

The man didn't die, he just left...
He left everything in the house as it was...
He just doesn't see or hear,
He no longer eats the bread of the earth...

He just became different from people
He opened another... astral path...
Where is another life... another wisdom
Where is the other salt... the other essence...

There will be a bookmark in the book
On the page about his love...
There is a note on the table... very briefly:
“Remember, but just... don’t call...”

The man didn't die... he just left
And opened air bridges
Between the shores past life
And another invisible feature...
Elena Gromtseva.

The question of how to remember for 9 days after death and how to properly celebrate the memory of the deceased is important for families who have experienced loss. There are many customs and rituals that must be observed on this day. Funeral meal, service in the church where funeral services are held, church prayers, visiting the grave - all this is a mandatory and integral part of the wake. In order to honor the memory of your neighbor with dignity, you need to know how 9 days from the date of death are celebrated.

Commemoration of the dead in Orthodoxy

Commemoration of the dead is a special custom among Orthodox Christians. In Orthodoxy the numbers 3, 9, 40 have sacred meaning, so these days are special for commemoration. According to church traditions, after death you need to remember a person in order to help the deceased find peace with your prayers. After leaving earthly life, the soul of the deceased is in search of its path in new life. She's looking for her new house in the other world. By remembering a person and praying for him, neighbors ease the fate of the deceased and help the soul find peace.

Funeral service for 9 days after death

In Orthodoxy, Christians have a tradition of honoring the memory of the deceased for nine days from the moment of departure. There are special customs for remembering the deceased, which are extremely important to observe, because these are traditions established over time. Adhering to these traditions and rituals is important not only from the point of view of religion, but also for peace of mind and the balance of the family of the deceased.

Necessary funeral rituals for 9 days after death:

• going to church;
• performing a service (memorial service, lithium, funeral service, magpie);
• reading a prayer (in church or at home);
• visiting a grave;
• funeral lunch.

Why do funerals last for 9 days?

The commemoration of the deceased is held for 9 days after death in honor of the nine angels who protect the soul of the deceased and ask the Almighty for its salvation. Following Orthodox tradition, the purpose of a memorial service is to help the deceased find his new home. The ninth day after a person’s departure is a very important period for family and friends. According to church customs, the transition of the soul of the deceased to the Kingdom of Heaven depends on them. With their prayers, relatives can help the soul of the deceased find peace.

Who is invited

Traditionally, nine days of wakes are considered uninvited. It is important that people come at will. It is not customary to invite or remind about this date. Orthodox traditions. However, in modern world often invited to funerals in order to plan and resolve organizational issues in advance. Sometimes the relatives of the deceased themselves casually remind about this event, thereby, without breaking traditions, they warn in advance about their arrival. If expected a large number of people, then the memorial is held outside the home, for example, in a restaurant.

What's being cooked

The most common dish that is prepared for a funeral for 9 days is kutia: boiled wheat seeds, to which something sweet is added, such as sugar or honey. Seeds are a symbol of life, and sugar or honey is the sweetness of life after death. Instead of kutya, you can prepare another porridge, for example, rice. It is customary to place compote or jelly on the funeral table for 9 days. Sometimes at funeral meals you can see pancakes, pies, various fish dishes, cutlets, as well as borscht. According to Orthodox customs, the funeral meal should be without alcohol.

What to do for 9 days

Commemoration for 9 days after death is the day when the deceased is remembered and only good things are remembered about him. During this period, it is not customary to organize mourning gatherings or, conversely, to organize a joyful feast. It must pass quietly, and the family of the deceased must behave humbly. In addition, there are a large number of different customs that need to be taken into account.

Funeral customs 9 days:

• There should be a slice of bread and a bowl of water at home from morning to night.
• You need to light a candle or lamp next to the photograph of the deceased.
• You need to visit the cemetery of the deceased, but you cannot arrange a funeral right in the middle of the cemetery.
• The funeral meal should be modest, without excesses.
• Food left over after a funeral meal should not be thrown away. The remaining food should be distributed to the poor and homeless people.
• On this date, you need to give out alms, give lunches to the poor, and help those in need.

Prayer

Correctly commemorating the departed on the 9th day means praying for them. Despite the pain and bitterness of loss, you need to realize that prayer will help the deceased more than tears. It is important to let go of your loved one so that his soul can find peace in the afterlife. It is extremely necessary to pray for the mercy of the Almighty towards the deceased, because if they pray for the deceased, it means there is something good in him. Therefore, it is important to visit the temple and order a magpie for the departed. Before the funeral meal, it is extremely necessary to read the rite of lithium about the deceased.

How to count 9 days after death

According to Christian canons, commemoration on the 9th day after death - an important event, so you need to correctly calculate the date on which it falls. In order to correctly count nine days, you need to start the report directly from the day the deceased left. The first day should be considered the day of death itself, and not the funeral. Nine days inclusive from the moment of death must be counted only if death occurred before midnight. If the death occurred after midnight, then they begin to count from the next day inclusive.

Video

Today, many people are interested in the question of how to remember the deceased, how best to organize a feast, whether to distribute rolls and scarves, and why cover mirrors in the house?

Who comes up with these rules?

I suggest you familiarize yourself with tips for conducting a funeral ceremony. After all, commemorating the dead means a desire to help a person’s soul and alleviate its suffering.

There are a lot of funerals around folk signs which have become traditions. We are used to following them unquestioningly, being in ignorance and a state of shock.

Many people can be understood, because they hope that in this way they will drive away troubles from their family. Here are some of the popular superstitions.

FUNERAL SUPERSTITIONS:

You can't eat with forks at a funeral.

Relatives do not carry the coffin so that the deceased does not think that his death is welcome.

All mirrors in the house where the deceased is located must be covered with black cloth.

At a funeral dinner, the deceased is given a separate place at the table, with a glass of alcohol, covered with a piece of bread, and a plate with a spoon.

Children under 6 years old and pregnant women are not allowed to attend funerals.

If a deceased person lies in a house, it cannot be cleaned until the body is taken outside the premises.

Everyone who attended the funeral should be given bread and a scarf.

The bench on which the coffin stood must be turned over for a day and an ax placed near it. This is done to prevent another dead person from appearing in the house.

You cannot leave things in the house that came into contact with a person who is already dead.

The door and gate of the house where a person died should be kept open for three days.

Believers are advised not to pay attention to superstitions, but to consult with church ministers. Commemoration of the dead is, first of all, a church prayer service. “Truly I also say to you that if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven,” says the Gospel of Matthew.

According to church teachings, the dead should be commemorated on the third, ninth, fortieth days after death and on their anniversary. The day of death is always considered first. The most important thing is not the funeral meal, but joint prayer. If your family decides to organize a dinner in memory of the deceased, remember a few rules.

HOW TO HOLD A FUNERAL DINNER:

On special days of remembrance (3rd, 9th, 40th and anniversary), order a memorial service in the church and attend the liturgy if it is scheduled for that day.

Consult with the priest what day you can reschedule lunch, if it falls on big celebration. The best time to eat is on Saturday. Funerals can also be held during Lent.

Don't have a lavish feast. “If you can pray for a person, pray; if you can’t pray, say good things about him; if you can’t say them, think good things about him.”

On a special day of remembrance, you should light a candle bought in the church and read the prayer: “Through the prayers of Christ and your Forerunner, who gave birth to You, the apostles, prophets, hierarchs, the venerable and righteous, and all the saints, give rest to your departed servant.”

Before eating, everyone who sits at dining table, must read the Lord's Prayer. After the meal, ask God for all the dead: “Grant, Lord, remission of sins to all who have previously departed in the faith and hope of the resurrection, take away our brothers and sisters and create for them eternal memory. Blessed are you. Lord, teach me through Your justification.”

There should not be a lot of food on the funeral table. The first dish that guests eat at a wake is kutia (kolivo, or sochivo) - boiled grains of wheat or rice with honey and raisins. Grain is a symbol of resurrection, and honey is the sweetness of the righteous in the Kingdom of God. It is advisable to consecrate Kutya during a memorial service, but if this does not work, it must be sprinkled with holy water.

Food from the funeral can be distributed to those in need; it cannot be thrown away.

Bringing food to the grave of a deceased person is wrong; it is a pagan tradition.

Commemorations on the anniversary after death are kept modest. On this day, gather in a close circle of loved ones and remember the deceased common prayer, you can without a meal.

The Church does not approve of drinking alcohol at funerals. Wine is considered a symbol of earthly joy, and a wake is a time for intense prayer for a person who may be suffering greatly in life. afterlife. Under no circumstances should you leave a glass of vodka and a piece of bread on the table; this is a relic of paganism, and this is not done in religious families.

But what if the deceased was an unbeliever, unbaptized, a suicide, or followed other religious teachings?

This is how the Holy Father answers this question:

“In churches they do not pray for such people and do not perform a funeral service for them, but in the case of suicides, with the blessing of the priests, home prayer should be read, and funeral meals with relatives are not prohibited. You should visit the Trinity Church parent's Saturday- on this day the church prays for all those “who have died from eternity,” including those “who hold them in hell.”

You cannot submit suicide notes, but you can and even need to take part in the service and pray “for everyone.”

In memory of the Gentiles, you need to pray for them and give alms. Since they were never in the womb Orthodox Church, they don’t give notes about them and don’t light candles.”

No one lives on this earth forever, we are sentenced to death. But death is birth into a new life, because only one dies physical body, and the soul is immortal. People are destined to meet after death, but where depends on us now, on how we spend this life.

Pray and repent, live according to the commandments and do not shed useless tears for the dead.

Remember them in home prayer or in the temple.

HOW IMPORTANT IS IT TO SEND SORCIES OF RELATIONS?

Teachings of the elders: how important it is to give magpies for repose.

“This story is taken from the book - Modern elders Mount Athos, published by the Russian Pilgrim publishing house.

This non-fictional story, based on the example of one family, tells how important it is to give magpies for the repose of deceased Christians.

So, Elder Daniel had to go from the Vatopedi monastery to hometown Smyrna and stay there for nine months.

“As soon as I arrived (in Smyrna), I considered it my duty to visit George, the son of the unforgettable Demetrius.” (Demetrius was a simple layman, but his great faith and virtue gave him “heavenly wisdom,” and he became famous for his wise advice and instructions. His teachings strengthened many souls, including the soul of the elder Daniel in his youth. “I asked him in detail about death father, whose death I knew from many people.”

In response to the monk’s request, George described the death of his venerable father in great detail, accompanying the memories with tears. And one detail is so remarkable that we must tell you about it now.

Having reached the end of his earthly life, the inspired Demetrius was forewarned of the day of his death, determined for him by the Lord. On that day, he asked one pious, pure-hearted priest, Father Demetrius, to come to him.

“I will die today, father,” he said. “Please tell me what to do when the last moments come.”

The priest knew about his virtuous life, knew that he had confessed, received unction and received communion several times. But after listening to the request, I decided to offer the following.

“If you wish, order that after your death, forty liturgies (sorokoust) be performed for you in some rural church.” The dying man gladly accepted the priest's advice. After a little hesitation, he called for his son.

“My son, I ask you for one favor. I ask you that after my death you order forty liturgies for me in some rural church.”

He replied: “Bless me, my father, I promise to fulfill your desire.”

Two hours later, the man of God gave up the ghost. Without delay, his worthy son turned to Father Demetrius, not knowing that it was he who recommended the forty liturgies.

“Father Demetrius, my father left me an order to serve forty liturgies for him somewhere outside the city. And since you sometimes stay in the Church of the Holy Apostles, I ask you to take the trouble to serve them. I will take care of all expenses.” The priest answered with tears: “Dear George, it was I who gave such advice to your father, and as long as I live, I will always remember him... But I cannot perform these forty liturgies, because just now my mother is ill. You will have to go to another priest.”

However, George, knowing the great piety of Father Demetrius and his father’s devotion to him, insisted until he persuaded him. The priest, coming home, said to his wife and daughters:

“I must perform forty liturgies for the soul of the good Christian Demetrius. Therefore, don’t wait for me at home for forty days, I will be in the Church of the Holy Apostles.”

And he began to diligently celebrate the liturgy. I’ve already completed thirty-nine, the last one falling on Sunday. But on Saturday evening his teeth hurt so badly that he was forced to go home. He groaned in pain. The wife suggested calling a doctor to remove the tooth.

“No,” answered Father Demetrius. - Tomorrow I have to do last liturgy”.

However, in the middle of the night the pain intensified so much that I had to call a doctor and have the tooth removed. And since there was bleeding, the priest decided to postpone the last liturgy until Monday.

On Saturday afternoon, George prepared money to pay the priest and intended to give it to him the next day. On Sunday night he began to pray. The silence of the night contributed to a prayerful mood. Passed for a long time, he was tired and lay down on the bed, remembering the good deeds and instructions of his blessed father. The following thought came to mind: “ Do the forty liturgies really help the souls of the dead or does the church prescribe them to comfort the living?“And at that moment I fell asleep.

He saw himself in a wonderful place, in a place of such indescribable beauty that cannot be found on earth. However, he felt unworthy to be in such a holy heavenly place, and he was seized by the fear that he should be expelled from there to the depths of hell. But he was strengthened by the following thought: “If the Lord Almighty brought me here, He will have mercy on me and give me more time to repent, because I have not yet died and have not been separated from my body.”

After this comforting thought, I saw the purest and brightest light coming from afar, shining much stronger than the sun. He ran towards him and with inexpressible surprise saw a spectacle of unprecedented beauty. In front of him stretched a huge garden, or a forest, fragrant with a wonderful, unfamiliar aroma. He thought: “So this is it, Paradise! Oh, what bliss awaits those who live righteously on earth!”

Looking at this unearthly beauty with amazement and pleasure, I drew attention to the most beautiful palace of exceptional architectural grace, the walls of which shone brighter than gold in the sun and diamonds. It is impossible to describe its beauty in human words. He stood amazed and speechless. Coming closer - oh, joy! - I saw my father, luminous and shining, at the door of the palace.

“How did you get here, my child?” - the father asked softly and lovingly.

“The mercy of our Savior Christ and the intercession of His Mother, whom I especially honor, gave me this place. Today I was supposed to enter this palace, but since the builder who built it is unwell - today his tooth was pulled out - forty days of construction were not completed. Therefore I will enter it tomorrow.”

After these words, Georgy woke up with a feeling of miracle, with tears, but somewhat puzzled. I did not sleep the rest of the night, constantly praying praises to Almighty God. In the morning I went to liturgy at the Cathedral of St. Photinia. Afterwards, taking prosphora, wine and a candle, he went to the region of Mirtakia, where the Church of the Holy Apostles was located. He found Father Demetrius in his cell, sitting on a chair.

The priest greeted him with joy and said, not wanting to upset him: “I just came with Divine Liturgy. Now forty liturgies have been celebrated.”

Then George began to describe in detail the vision he had at night. When he came to the description that his father’s entry into the palace was postponed because of the builder’s toothache, the priest was filled with fear, but at the same time with joy and a sense of miracle. He stood up and said:

“My dear George, I am a builder who worked on the construction of the palace. Today I did not perform the liturgy because of a pulled out tooth. You see, my handkerchief is covered in blood. I didn’t tell you the truth because I didn’t want to upset you.”

Elder Daniel was deeply moved by this story. In the end, George invited him to visit Father Demetrius, who was then asceticizing in the parish of St. John the Theologian. The priest confirmed the authenticity and said to write everything down as very instructive. And so it happened, since we found it in manuscripts. At the end, Elder Daniel added in pencil: “I heard what was written down in 1875, in October. Our unforgettable Demetrius died in 1869.