Before reading this text, I must warn you: deterioration in life does not occur overnight, they are the result of gradual and sometimes imperceptible processes for the brain deceived by illusions. It doesn't happen that way! and everything in life became dramatically worse. A person himself prepares the ground for this - he strengthens inadequate realities and unviable attitudes with faith, makes strategically erroneous decisions, ignores facts, etc. and so on.

To begin with, you should understand and accept as an axiom one simple thing, which is that There are no unsolvable problems, there are unpleasant solutions. It is difficult to accept it, because in the minds of many people, a woman’s attitude toward the perception of reality, “what is true is pleasant,” “I close my eyes and all the bad things will disappear,” dominates in the minds of many people. It is with its elimination and eradication that the process of getting out of the ass into which a person has driven himself begins.

Next step- This sober look to reality. You cannot correct a situation / solve a problem without recognizing the facts. This is usually made difficult by the fact that the individual is accustomed to lying to himself. Freud also proved that most of our words and thoughts serve to hide the truth. First of all, from ourselves. It’s difficult to figure out your own lies and false interpretation of facts on your own, so smart people turn to those who know how to separate reality from bullshit for help.

In fact, after this step, we can consider that half the path has already been completed. Because an honest and conscious look at reality automatically puts everything in its place and a large (if not most) part of the problems falls off by itself. This, by the way, is the basis of Allen Carr’s methods for overcoming drug addiction (“the most easy way quit smoking” and others).

Third step is decision making. It seems like a simple action, but it stalls in the swamp of childish infantilism generated by a woman’s upbringing. The average representative of society does not have the desire and ability to live independently, that is, to live freely - he is accustomed to others deciding everything for him: first his parents, then the school and college, then the authorities with the government and money, which the moneyphile-bred man in the street perceives as “universal.” problem solver,” they say, I’ll take it where it needs to be, I’ll pay and there’s no need to strain myself.

And this is where the mistake comes in, because the active, that is, subjective life position ALWAYS involves the application of effort, and any effort requires a certain amount of tension. Otherwise, it turns out, as in that vulgar joke: “And what did you understand, Vovochka? - Don’t relax, otherwise you’ll #boot!” True, you also need to strain yourself mentally, and not like the horse Boxer from Animal Farm, who, in the situation of the onset of another ass, constantly said the same thing: “I will work even harder.” As you know, the horse ended badly - he was sent to a slaughterhouse and soap factory. Yes, you have to work not 18 hours, but with your head.

The degree of tension, by the way, directly depends on the steepness of the solution. You won’t have to work hard to fix or even slightly tint a leaky fence, but the result won’t be particularly beautiful and won’t be very durable. But for little man with small goals it is generally quite acceptable. To completely reconstruct a dilapidated house (if everything is really bad in life), all forces and resources must be concentrated into a fist. Well, of course, you need to know WHAT EXACTLY do. Because, as the classic bequeathed, “a specific analysis of a specific situation is the very essence, the living soul of Marxism.”

In fact, the development and assistance in implementing a detailed strategy for overcoming the crisis is the subject of coaching and consulting work. Since this requires operations that are very problematic to do alone - take an honest look at yourself and your life from the outside, clarify your true goals and desires (understand your real, not fictitious purpose/vocation) and discard false ones, subject to critical analysis and revision of beliefs and the attitudes that previously guided me in life and which ultimately led to my ass (after all, our fate is neither more nor less, but the deployment over time of our unconscious attitudes and “game packages”). Well, and various other important things.

“Deceive the Emperor and cross the sea”

Another dissatisfied reader will grumpily say: so, they say, everything is bad, there is no health, life is not going well, debts, loans, no home, no work, in general, I don’t want to live, and then I have to spend a lot of money on the help of a trainer-consultant. I would like some free, effective advice.

But, unfortunately, there is no such thing as free and effective advice. For everything in life you have to pay. And often not with money (a virtual and renewable resource), but with much more expensive resources - time, energy, health...

There is this thing that I called "the theory of last money" and which has numerous confirmations in world practice (for example, the biography of the former poor man Peter Daniels or Edison Miranda, a homeless man who became a famous boxer). Its essence is to put yourself in a hopeless situation when “it’s either hit or miss.”

The fact is that any person always has money, even if he thinks that he doesn’t have it (here, as a rule, we are dealing with a perverted form of lying to oneself). The question is priorities. If survival is a priority, then all the money is spent on it. And a person will do only one thing all his life - survive. If the priority is a leap forward and development, then all his actions will be subordinated to these goals. Therefore, when a person invests all his money in himself, then he has no other acceptable options except to win.

The problem, however, is that the vast majority of people by upbringing have an unconscious ban on winning (hence the life-survival "victim philosophy"). But this can also be treated. The main thing is to overcome your own fear. Fear of finally becoming yourself, strong and free!

A “stone” in the soul is not a simple depression caused by a light bulb. This means that there are unfinished problems in life, and thoughts are painful and confused. There seems to be no one to put the burden of your problems on; you have to solve everything yourself, and what exactly to do with everything that has piled up is unknown.

And when the very peak of bad luck comes, everything is bad, there is emptiness in the soul, and one gives up, only then does that same depression begin. If you are already in this state, then let’s dig in - what went wrong?

Procrastination - compound word, but its essence is familiar to almost every person. Psychologists use this word to mean putting things off “until tomorrow.” This “tomorrow”, again, is postponed to an indefinite day, and meanwhile other unfinished tasks are collected in a huge lump.

No, this is not simple laziness when a person just wants to relax and gain strength. This is a burden of problems that need to be dealt with urgently, so rest is out of the question. But other things cannot wait, and they are all just as urgent. In the end, everything is done on a quick fix V last minute and a blunder.

The result is that the result did not bring joy, the chance of victory was missed, and hence moral devastation. To prevent this from happening, here are some tips:

If you get down to business, try to do it right away. Well, as a last resort, take a short time out for inspiration.

Don't take on everything at once, doing everything halfway. It is better to abstract from other problems, but focus on the most important.

Don't make promises to everyone to look good. It’s better to refuse once and remain honest than to promise, fail to deliver, and then hide.

If you are overdue, find out if there is still a chance to catch up. If there is, do everything immediately; if not, forget about it.

Don't mope over what you missed. This is a lesson for you - either you are trying to burden yourself with something beyond your strength, or the process itself is unpleasant for you, and therefore unnecessary.

Procrastination is dangerous when it comes to personal health or the health of loved ones. These problems definitely cannot be put off. And everything else is nonsense: work, household chores and other little things. So they weren't that important if they could be put off.

Therefore, the emptiness in your soul is just time to think about new plans. Like a space on a keyboard between words: finished one word - “space” - start another. Just don’t repeat your mistakes, at least make a clear schedule.

Almost all people are afraid of losing the property they own. The fear is almost obsessive. They think that if they lose everything, there will not only be emptiness in their souls, but life will lose all meaning.

Nowadays the path to getting rich is too easy. Take out loans, a mortgage - here you have housing, a car and a house full of all the benefits. But as soon as you lose a prestigious job, everything goes topsy-turvy:

The apartment and car are taken away for non-payment.

All the gold remained in the pawnshop.

Loans are stifling, collecting interest.

An emptiness in your pocket is an emptiness in your soul; no one can help, because even friends have defected to the side of more successful friends.

Unfortunately, the severity similar problems is felt by the vast population of our country. They lured everyone in with too sweet a candy, without explaining how bitter it was inside. And only a few look at everything with optimism:

We didn’t live richly - and there was no need to start. Again rental apartment- yeah, I don’t care. A mortgage is the same as renting, only much more expensive.

Thank you to fate for helping me get rid of false “friends”. Now it’s clear who is who. True friends remained close even in poverty.

The loans will go away and be forgotten. And fate gave me a chance to start living with clean slate and pointed out past mistakes.

The main thing is that key phrase here to “start living.” And therefore, everything is just beginning, and it’s time to fill this emptiness in the soul with something new and good.

If you don’t look at everything with optimism, you will mentally kill yourself and your family. But in such a situation, you need at least one person who will pull all those suffering up, and not down. And it will be better if you turn out to be such a person.

In general, we need to look at all these problems philosophically: “Thank you, God, for taking me with money. All my relatives are alive and well, and that’s the main thing!”

Changes in your personal life - and not for the better

This is where the spiritual emptiness is difficult to close. Only doctor time can heal. Although in some cases all is not lost.

My husband left me

Such sad changes in the family throw a woman off balance for a long time. Especially when a homewrecker appears on the way. First there are hysterics, threats, belittlement, and then - depression, emptiness, heaviness in the soul.

But how many times have such gulens returned home guilty? How many times has it happened that women have already “boiled over” and no longer want to let their spouses in the door? And how many times have women fallen in love in a new way, and she no longer needed this old womanizer!

Therefore, if your husband is now lost, and you can’t find a place for yourself, know that he is actually still alive. There are many options for returning him to his family, and one option is that you no longer need him.

Or maybe you are to blame for something? Maybe there is a chance to fix something? Maybe there is no homewrecker? Then don't put it off until tomorrow - dry your tears and act today.

Losing a loved one

This is where things get more complicated. For example, my mother passed away. You've already cried all your tears, they're gone scary days all the farewell ceremonies, and you went into deep depression. You look at one point, you don’t want to communicate with anyone, even though you are incredibly lonely.

For now, time is working to heal you psychologically. Nothing is needed yet. Unobtrusive care from family and friends is good. The main thing is that they don’t jerk you now in order to “knock the depressive crap out of your head.” This is not nonsense, this is how it should be.

The best way out is to communicate with someone who has already gone through a similar stage. Only he will help calm you down and explain how best to get out of depression. It is in him that there will be trust. Just don't get hooked by some sect.

I hear apathetic ringing, but I don’t know where it is

The worst thing is to succumb to depression when you are trying to make yourself feel worse. I want to cry, but there seems to be no reason. Some kind of melancholy, nothing more. It either swirls in the stomach area or gives off pain in the heart, but you don’t understand: is this a premonition of something bad?

Yes, there is fear for the future - you are expecting something, but you have convinced yourself in advance that the outcome must necessarily be bad. This is the mistake many people make. Moreover, the roots of this behavior sprout from childhood.

If you grew up in some kind of inevitable fear from childhood (there was violence and tyranny in the family), then such an oppressive state will always accompany you. It is called the persecuting and punishing superego. Moreover, if what scares you does happen, then you will only have yourself to blame for it.

If your condition If you’re already close to the fact that only a bear’s bed can save you, then read the article. Maybe this is where your depression lurks, even to the point of health problems. But if you are still able to move and work, then a few tips will not hurt you:

Don't beat yourself up over stupid things. Like, I had a dream bad dream or the fortune teller guessed something. A dream is just a reflection of our thoughts, which is why this “scenario” develops. But a fortune teller needs to earn money, so he prophesies all sorts of nonsense.

Surround yourself with positivity. If you want chocolate, but if you want, let’s sabant with your friends. Watch comedies on TV, switch to thrillers and don't watch politics.

Don't put your problems on others if they are incompetent to do so. Lawyers and doctors are one thing, amateurs who promise but don’t deliver are another.

Think only about a good outcome. And for this, act yourself, if it is in your power. And again, don’t put anything off.

In general, you can easily get rid of the feeling of heaviness in your soul with the help of some sedative medications. And they cannot be excluded either. Calmed my nerves - cleared my head for good thoughts - and there will be so many solutions at once to throw off a heavy mountain of problems from your shoulders!

There is one simple answer to the question “What to do when everything is bad” - enjoy the moment, so as not to miss it later, because soon the crisis will pass and a bright streak will come! But seriously, in order for the gloomy clouds overhead to disperse, it is enough to take simple 9 steps, the effectiveness of which has been tested by time.

Need specifics

Many of us have a well-developed ability to exaggerate. To do this, many use a technique known from literary theory as hyperbole. Its meaning is deliberate exaggeration to enhance effect, emotional enhancement, and so on. Most often, under the phrase “everything is bad” there is an exaggerated “something specific.”

In other words, these are certain moments or situations on which the general condition of a person depends. It is advisable to find them. To do this, you need a piece of paper and a pen that will “endure” everything bad. Most likely, from the first line it will turn out that there are not so many reasons for depression.

But those reasons that exist and are specifically defined have created the effect of a snowball that impudently fell on tired shoulders. If the same question has been ringing in your head for a long time: “What to do when it’s very bad?”, it is advisable to start resolving the current situation right now. Which, in fact, is already happening.

Negative overboard

In order to cope with the surging problems, you need at least enthusiasm and desire. But where do they come from when everything has been “eaten up” by the “what to do” state? To change the situation you will have to collect last drops strength and throw them into a healing activity, which is different for everyone.

This could be going to the bathhouse, cycling, skating, jumping on trampolines, in general, anything that will get rid of the negative, replacing it with the positive. The main thing is to get physically tired, throw out your emotions by screaming or laughing, and also switch. It's worth it, because what's at stake is the common emotional condition. It is this that determines our readiness to fight for things to improve. Don’t forget that a healthy mind is in a healthy body, so delicious food and good sleep are exactly what the doctor ordered.

Black humor

Sometimes black humor and self-irony remain underestimated aids in the fight against depression, but much is known about their healing properties in the world of modern psychotherapy. Perhaps it is worth thinking about what is “missing” for a complete picture of hopelessness. After all, it can always be worse. Laughing at yourself, and this is considered a sign of a strong personality, not only lifts your spirits, scaring away the snowball of failures, but also reminds you that everything is really not as bad as it can be.

If it’s hard for you to find a reason to laugh, then it’s time to go to the movies, but only to see a comedy. Movies are therapeutic, so choose something incredibly explosive.

Algorithm of actions

When negative emotions gone a little, it’s time to return to the “black” list. Opposite each item that “poisons lives” you can write detailed instructions on how to provide yourself with emergency help. medical care. That is, think through your actions, the so-called ways to overcome the problems that have arisen, in order to clearly determine for yourself what to do if everything is bad.

The main thing is not to look for global and sophisticated solutions, but to find affordable and simple options that are easy to take.

spring-cleaning

It is worth admitting that rarely does anyone have perfect order in all areas of life. Many different things have been put off for years in a long box of immense size. Now is the time to carry out an audit in this “long box”, thereby making general cleaning in him.

If you are passionate about doing something, improvements will begin imperceptibly in at least one area of ​​your life. Decorating furniture, traveling to distant relatives, replanting flowers will be a good reason for global vital reforms.

Equilibrium as an axiom

Many scientists different industries agree on the idea that everything is balanced in the world. If it disappears somewhere, it soon appears in another place. So, in every unpleasant situation there is a second side of the coin, on which bright colors a rainbow is drawn, you just need to look at it.

• Is your dress torn? There was an opportunity to update the style by altering it in the workshop.
• Got fired? It's time to take a break and find something more worthwhile.
• Has your husband (wife) left? That's what he needs, but for me new life begins!

Healing Humility

Sometimes people, hastily searching for what to do when everything is bad, need to calm down and stop doing anything at all. There are things that do not depend on us. Naturally, it is quite difficult for those who are accustomed to control their own destiny to come to terms with such a statement. But no one can predict illness, accident or the loss of a loved one.

It is important to try to forgive your fate, accepting its “gifts” with humility and gratitude. This is difficult, but effective, because a little humility and understanding attracts love, and anger and resentment attract hatred.

Good deed

If we don’t know what to do when everything is bad, then the whole world seems unfair, spoiled, embittered. If gray, gloomy weather is added to the dejected mood, then a meeting with apathy is guaranteed. To warm yourself up by helping good defeat evil, you can do something good for another person.

It could be anything: a charity dinner, gifts for children with special needs, visiting a patient, and so on. As a result, it turns out that this helped ourselves first of all, because sincere gratitude from others heals, over time returning goodness threefold. And the ability to share and sacrifice leads to a mature alignment of priorities and values. It’s not without reason that they say that the hand of the giver will never fail.

Looking in the mirror

If, after some time, the situation has not improved, but only worsened, moving into the chronic stage of losing on all fronts, then it is time to use heavy artillery. It is a critical self-analysis of one’s actions and behavior. A psychologist, spiritual mentor, or other person with good life experience will help you cope with this.

It’s worth asking yourself questions: “What did I do wrong?”, “How do I respond to other people’s requests?”, “How do I feel about fulfilling my duties?” The main thing is to remain honest with yourself. Only under this condition can you see yourself from the outside. Having determined which behavior pattern attracts trouble, breaking the chain of failures will become much easier.

These 9 steps were created for a person who is tormented by the question “What to do when everything is bad?” Each step is a small hint leading to the answer. Those who have decided to act, grow and change their life for the better can use them. Perhaps there are those in your circle who need advice at this moment. Share this post with them to help cope with the cloud of problems flying at their heads and prevent the onset of the Ice Age.

If now, in your opinion, everything is bad in your life, listen to one story that happened to me several years ago and which turned my life upside down.
For a long time, I believed that my life was already pre-programmed for a certain amount of success and failure, with much more of the second component in it. And there’s nothing you can do about it except come to terms with it and learn to survive - I didn’t see any other way out.

One day I met an old friend of mine, whom I had not seen for many years. Despite a series of tragic circumstances in her life, she looked young and happy, led an active lifestyle, and was full of optimism.
I was interested to know her secret happy life. It turned out to be very simple, but difficult to implement - every morning to thank the Universe for everything you have in life and sincerely believe that every day all your affairs are getting better and better. At that moment, her secret of a “happy life” seemed strange to me. Moreover, if problems constantly arise at work, with health, there is a chronic lack of money, relationships are not going well, and in general - this is not the life I dreamed of. But I decided to try and signed up for training in a coaching group.
Thus began my new rebirth to a completely different life - meaningful and filled with wonderful transformations and surprises, surrounded by positive and successful people.

What to do if everything is bad in life?

Now I can say with complete confidence that black line, which is often present in life, is actually a runway. And in order to take off, you need to properly accelerate along it and gain the high speed necessary for takeoff. And always set your sails so that they catch the tailwind.
And this means that it is necessary to take responsibility for everything that happens in life into your own hands.
And you need to start with controlling your thoughts - the energy that materializes in the real world. What we think about is what we get.
There is an excellent exercise for this - “Candle”. Every evening for 10 minutes just look at the candle without thinking about anything. This is how you develop the habit of controlling your thoughts and the ability to concentrate on the main thing.

Secondly, start every morning with . This is a huge flow of life-giving energy that miraculously transforms all problems, failures and failures into new solutions, new opportunities and new achievements.
And a miracle happens - everything around begins to change better side.

Third, constantly fill your life with love, kindness and positivity. Dismiss whiners, negative people and pessimists from it, and surround yourself with positive, bright, kind and successful people. They will support and give additional incentive to move forward.

Fourthly, be sure to believe that everything that is planned will definitely work out. And do not let even a shadow of doubt into your heart. If you repeat many times: “God is good. Good is God,” confidence appears, and new ways to solve vital problems open up.

And always remember that at any moment you can change your life, but in order for it to change, you need to want it and start changing it. Start doing this meaningfully, asking yourself the right questions: “Why am I doing this?” Not everything works out right away, but with some effort, perseverance and perseverance, the result will not take long to arrive. And it will exceed all expectations, I know this for sure, because it has been tested by life.

When failure haunts a person, the question arises: what to do when everything is bad in life? Practical psychologists A special algorithm of actions has been developed that will change the situation for the better. But in order to achieve changes you will have to work on yourself.

Stage 1: Getting rid of negativity in conversation

Many people have gotten into the habit of complaining about fate and arousing pity for themselves. You have to fight this, driving away from yourself negative words, thoughts and emotions by willpower. You need to force yourself to stop complaining about life and not show negative emotions; if you can’t force yourself, you can use some exercise, for example, come up with a reminder in the form of a colored thread, tying it around your wrist, that you should avoid negative conversations for a certain time.

This reminder is very useful because, willy-nilly, you will have to think about your problems, look for the cause of their occurrence and the opportunity to get rid of them. After such exercises you will not want to talk and complain about hard life, even with others when they complain. Here you need to learn to turn everything into a joke or change the topic of conversation.

The negative conversation has been dealt with, but emotions and internal experiences that poison life remain.

Stage 2: Getting rid of negative emotions

It is difficult to control your emotions. They arise spontaneously, making a person angry and irritable. But, if you look at it, emotions do not appear on their own - they arise based on a person’s thoughts. So you need to analyze your thoughts.

Before you think about your thoughts, you need to convince yourself of the following:

• worries about what to do when everything is bad in life do not change anything, but only spoil life, the problem remains;
• most difficulties are mere trifles and not worth attention;
• learn to face reality and not run away from the answer.

All problems are divided into two camps:

• those that depend on the person himself - they must be resolved immediately, and not deal with empty worries;
• those that do not depend on a person - they must be accepted as is, understanding that a person is not able to influence them.

And you need to determine for yourself the boundaries of your experiences. A person often confuses these facets and spoils relationships with others. This is especially true for children and spouses. But this does not exclude caring for some person.

Stage 3: Caring for others

You need to take care of your neighbor not in words, but out of love. Often, grumbling, reproaches, and worry are called caring. This kind of concern is suspicious. Some people are probably satisfied with the state of worry so as not to do anything, to think about anything but solving their problems. This begs the question: is there a way out of this situation?

Instead of problems - new things!

Instead of needlessly worrying about any troubles, you need to look for an opportunity to correct the problem that has arisen. This does not mean that you need to find good points in everything, as some teach. It's not productive. You must be able to find a way out of any situation that arises. To do this, you need to focus on actions and your own development, and not on passively waiting for help from someone.