Perhaps, in the life of every person there have been periods when you wanted to give up everything, cross out, erase, break and, when leaving, burn the bridges behind you in order to start new life. How to start life with clean slate when all meaning is lost and disappointment in life reaches its climax? Adopt a series of drastic changes!
Changes of any nature can be either rapid, severe, comprehensive - revolutionary, or soft, long-lasting, gradual - evolutionary. Of course, evolution is better than revolution in changing your own life as well as in other areas.
Evolution is always less painful and destructive (both for the person himself and for those around him), but due to the fact that many people like to stretch their problems to the extent of a catastrophe, it is often possible to solve them only through revolutionary means. By analogy with illness, we can say that while life problem small, it can be eliminated by taking pills, but if it is already life-threatening, a serious operation is needed.
For example, if a woman has been putting up with her unemployed husband for ten years, who is idle and does nothing but beg her for money for drinks, while supporting him and the whole family, there is only one way out - divorce and eviction from the apartment. If the problem is that there is less passion and more routine in the relationship between husband and wife, the evolutionary method is suitable: make changes in everyday life, responsibilities, add extreme, novelty to life, change externally or internally for both or one of the spouses and etc.
Is it easy to start life from scratch?
To start life from scratch, sometimes you need absolutely minor changes, such as apartment renovation, conversation with wise man, a change of image or a trip to a country that you have long wanted to visit.
It happens that a new life begins unnoticed as a result of gradual personality development and self-improvement. But most often people need quick and significant change in life circumstances, which is unlikely to happen by itself (or it will take another life).
As a rule, several dramatic changes or a complete lifestyle change are required. To start living from scratch, you need to set yourself this target.
Unfortunately, there are people (and there are many of them) who live in ignorance or unwillingness to change anything, even if life brings them nothing but suffering. Such people either consciously choose the path of torment, considering it correct, or they simply find and receive unhealthy pleasure or hidden benefit from their torment.
What do they want people who realize the need for life changes? Most often these are the following desires:
The problems that caused the desire to start life from scratch can be different, for each person they are special (although they may be perceived by others as typical), but the ultimate goal is the same - happy life.
Every person wants to be happy, the only difference is that some people expect happiness as a miracle and believe in such a possibility for themselves, others always complain that they have had an unfortunate lot and do not try to change anything, and still others believe in better life and create it with their labor.
Analysis of the old and design of a new life
The Russian language is unusually rich in meaning. Very often, answers to many complex life questions are hidden in words, phrases, sayings and proverbs.
So the phrase “start life from scratch” already contains the answer to how to do this: arm yourself with a clean sheet of paper and a pen. For what? In order to describe the desired new life and begin to turn the dream into reality.
There are no and cannot be universal recommendations on how to start life from scratch, but psychologists recommend adhering to the following algorithm of actions:
- The very first and most important thing is understand that it’s time to start life from scratch, dare to do it, overcoming fears and self-doubt. There is simply no other way but to gain courage and courage.
You need to pick up a blank sheet of paper and write the title “My new, happy life!”
- Answer two questions:
- What prevents you from being happy?
The answers need to be written down one below the other on the left half of the sheet.
This question is easy for most people to answer. Everything that gets in the way are pressing problems: unloved work, loneliness, unfaithful husband/wife, lack of self-confidence, excess weight, lack of money and so on.
You need to write down everything that comes to mind, not only external interference, but also internal barriers. Then select and highlight the largest ones that give rise to other difficulties, life difficulties. It may be that there is only one main problem and, by pulling it like a thread, you will be able to unwind the whole tangle of troubles. If such a problem is discovered, it should be highlighted specifically.
- What will make me happy?
Also write down the answers in the column on the right, opposite the first list.
When answering this question, you need to try to be as precise as possible. If you need money, then how much, if a husband, then what kind, and so on.
As a result, you will get two columns that are very similar in content, only the first will describe the problems, and the second will solve them. Perhaps one problem will have several solutions, or vice versa.
Solutions will be either cardinal, revolutionary or softer, evolutionary.
For example, an annoying girlfriend who constantly calls on the phone and spends hours talking about her problems prevents her from living happily (as a result, things are not done, her mood is at zero, she has breakdowns with her family and quarrels with them). What is not enough for happiness is either a sharp and complete severance of relations with a friend (a drastic measure) or a gradual reduction in the time of communication with her (a softer measure).
You need to imagine, dream about how you want to live, and then write down or sketch all your desires on a piece of paper.
These dreams should not be exorbitant, but achievable. When dreaming, you imagine not only what is customary and fashionable to want in society, but what suits, complements, and makes you truly happy.
One can imagine one day from happy life and describe it: where it begins, what people are nearby, what the day is filled with, what the work schedule is, what the nature of the vacation is, and so on.
In fact, the picture of a happy life is a set of answers to the question “What will make me happy?”, only not scattered, but holistic.
From words to actions
After it becomes clear what you need to get rid of for good and what you need to bring into your life so that it changes radically in better side, we need to take active action.
Naturally, after the analytical work done, drawing up a picture of a happy life, making new plans, each person will have his own goals, but as an example we will further describe active actions to help you start living differently:
- changing thinking from negative to positive,
- increased self-confidence, optimism,
- taking responsibility for one's own life,
- changing of the living place,
- change of social circle, environment,
- change of type of activity or place of work,
- change of marital status,
- acquiring a new hobby,
- change in image, appearance,
- getting rid of fears, complexes and other psychological problems,
- resolution of health problems,
- getting rid of bad habits and addictions,
- acquiring new, positive habits (walking in nature, reading, playing sports, living in the present and enjoying life, asking for forgiveness and forgiving, helping loved ones, others).
Changes should start from the very beginning main problem. For example, if life is poisoned by an unloved job, you need, first of all, to change it, perhaps all other aspects of life will improve after that on their own.
If it is difficult to start with radical changes, you can take on smaller ones, the main thing is begin.
The second thing that is important to remember: fundamental changes must be thoughtful, and not hasty. When leaving a job, it is better to find another one in advance, or at least understand that it is possible to find one. When leaving to live in another city, learn in advance and as much as possible about how people live there. When entering into a new relationship, take a closer look at your partner, and not through rose-colored glasses.
What is also extremely important to know and not forget when changing your life is that any external changes impossible without internal transformations. Sometimes only internal work on oneself serves to change life.
For example, there is a huge difference between when a person moves to a new place of residence due to the fact that he cannot realize himself as a professional and another situation when he is unable to hold down any job due to an irresponsible attitude to work. In the first case, a person will move, find himself and live for a long time (maybe forever), and in the second he will continue to move from place to place, not understanding that it is not his job or place of residence that needs to be changed, but himself.
This leads to another important conclusion: it is necessary know what mistakes were made earlier so as not to repeat them in the future. At the same time, remember that no one is immune from mistakes. In the new life, they may also happen, but you should not perceive them as a failure, this is experience and while everything can still be corrected, this must be done immediately, without delaying or increasing the scale of the problems.
And finally, even if you have to step into nowhere, starting life from scratch, not knowing what lies ahead, it is better to take this risky step than to live your whole life feeling like an unhappy person.
There are certain moments along the life path of every person that we would like to avoid. No one is immune from such psychological blows. Only clairvoyants can foresee all situations in advance, and even then not always. Sometimes a person wonders how to completely change his life, due to the fact that the previous situation does not meet his ideas about happiness.
Causes
The most common situations or circumstances that force you to reconsider your views include:
- Unloved job or activity that is not your business. Often a person becomes hostage to his own professional employment, although it does not bring decent material income and personal growth. Sometimes the fear of changing something is so great that it is better to let everything remain the same.
- Exhausted relationships. When a partner stays close more out of habit than out of choice.
- Unsettled personal life. It seems like it’s high time to start a family based on your age, but there’s no suitable candidate. However, relationships are not built as smoothly as we would like.
- lack of a normal way of life.
- Serious illnesses, your own, those of one of your relatives or friends, as well as the loss of one of your loved ones due to tragedy or an incurable diagnosis.
- Excess weight, which becomes a problem every day.
How to start a new life and change yourself?
To give good advice In this regard, we must remember that much here depends on the initial state of the person, his current situation and psychological mood. Many people are pushed towards change close environment. Some seek advice on how to change themselves from professional psychologists. The solution to the problem directly depends on the starting point at which the person is in this moment. Much also depends on age.
What should a teenager do for the better?
The first rather difficult psychological period begins around 11 and ends at 17-18 years. How to start a new life for a teenager if something goes wrong along the way. There can be many reasons for such a decision. For example, often in adolescence children are experiencing their parents' divorce. If a child was very close to his father, who suddenly leaves the family, this can cause deep psychological trauma. During this period, adolescents are highly susceptible negative influence society. Sometimes at this age people try drugs or alcohol for the first time.
To understand how to start a new life and change yourself, you should frankly look the problem in the eye. During this period, the teenager will need the support of someone close to him or the help of a psychologist. After the debriefing, you need to take as much time as possible free time useful activities. It is useful to treat psychological pain with physical labor or exercise. Thus, most great athletes, as well as famous people became such thanks to life's difficulties, which forced them to show their will. A person who finds himself next to a teenager at a difficult moment for him should help him not to withdraw into himself, to perceive the world positively, and also to figure out how to start a new life from scratch.
Changing your life at 30-35 years old
At any other age, people are no less susceptible to the influence of difficult psychological periods. That is why a change of job most often occurs between 27 and 30 years; until the age of 35, a person tries to realize himself and his ambitions. If reality coincides even one hundredth with expectations, there is a chance that the age waves will pass calmly.
If, however, a person realizes that the circumstances in which he lives do not suit him, the question will arise of how to start a new life and change himself. The advice of a psychologist on this matter is very varied. Let's look at the main points.
Action plan
An effective method: you need to become what you want
Many psychologists advise using this method: in order to be who you want, you first need to become like that person. Here's how it works. A person chooses a model of behavior. For example, having bad habits, he accepts completely. The person behaves like an athlete, attends appropriate events, and dresses appropriately. Over time, he begins to feel physically developed, healthy person. Subsequently, everything turns out that way. Everything works on the power of self-hypnosis.
What to do at 40?
This age is a rather difficult period. This is due to many circumstances in life. How to start a new life at 40? You should evaluate the situation, find positive aspects, reconsider your actions and just calm down. To begin with, you should let go of your past, whatever it may be. You should tell yourself that what is not there is no longer worth anything. If memories only bring negative emotions, you need to protect yourself from them. A person must make it clear to himself that:
- all responsibility for actions lies solely with him;
- All incidents in life happen for a reason. If we cannot change the outcome of the matter, then we need to try to accept it;
- he himself is a powerful source vitality. No one except the person himself can influence changes for the better.
Methods
How to start a new life at 40? There are also simple ways:
- find your own hobby for which you previously did not have enough time;
- meet new interesting people;
- change your image;
- make repairs to your home, update the furnishings;
- reconsider your habits.
Parting phrases
We figured out how to start a new life and change ourselves. To summarize, consider the list of things that were once said by the great. Let them bring confidence to everyone:
- When starting your journey again, you need to understand that all changes will not happen at once.
- To successfully take a hundred steps, you must take the first one. Anything can happen in life, but with a positive attitude towards everything that happens, it seems that the sun shines brighter.
- Man is the greatest creation of the Universe. Realizing your uniqueness, you can be confident in your own high self-esteem and the success that awaits beyond the horizon of the future.
- You cannot return the moment, but you can live it here and now.
- When people meet nearby on the way, they are given to a person to see himself from the outside. Some give an image of the past, others - the mistakes of the present, and others - the possibility of the future.
- All troubles in life need to be translated into attempts to gain experience, and this is priceless.
- Gratitude is the greatest feeling that opens closed doors, shows the right path, and calms the spirit.
- By maintaining purity of thought, a person brings it into his actions.
- We show the world what we have in abundance inside, and those around us also look at us.
The burden of mistakes, painful memories, damaged relationships... All this often poisons people's lives. Is there a way out and how to start life from scratch? Let's talk about this today.
Where to start first steps
- a) Determine whether you really need it? It happens that a moment of weakness or small everyday problems become for us like a wall along the entire path of life. This is one thing, but it is completely different when everything that surrounds you begins to put pressure on you. In this case, it’s time to start restarting your life. b) Think about what you will take with you into your new life: friends, acquaintances, things... All this can put pressure on you or, on the contrary, inspire you! Think about who or what you will take into your new, happy life. c) Believe that nothing can stand in your way if you really want to be happy in your new life, bright life! Nothing! Yes, at first it will be difficult to part with old attitudes and complexes, but the more active you are on your path to happiness, the faster you will be able to achieve that very state in which you will finally find happiness!
Is it worth quitting your job and living the way you want?
Here you just need to understand what is meant by the words “live as you want.” If we're talking about about lying on the couch all day and doing nothing, then this is definitely the path to nowhere. We'll talk about something else. If you feel that what you are doing in life is not bringing you pleasure, then think about whether it is the right one. life path, which you need, which is destined for you by fate. After all, a born artist, for example, should not drive a tram, or a baker should paint fences. As Confucius said: “Choose a job you like, and you will never have to work a single day in your life.” You can quit your job if you don’t feel happy for a day at it. And it’s not just that you’re busy with something other than your own business. An angry team can also poison the atmosphere. The point is that you need to do what you love where you are, and it will be in demand. For example, you write articles well and got a job as a journalist in one of the central newspapers. You are talented, and there are many envious people out there who consider you an upstart reporter. Intrigues begin to weave against you, you are not given the best tasks, etc. But this is not a reason to quit journalism, but you can change your job. Don't take your current job as a mistake. It was just a step where you were able to build up a portfolio and gain experience that you can implement in a new edition, with a more accommodating team. Sometimes things go so badly for people that it seems like life has completely collapsed. In this situation, there is no choice left: either to live on, or to wallow in grief over a broken life.
What a new life could be like at 30
The midlife crisis is suddenly approaching! You begin to feel worthless and look for flaws in others. Your youthful spark has gone out, and your life has begun to turn into a routine. If all this matches your condition, then this item is for you. Congratulations. You are a victim of a midlife crisis! It begins because you begin to rethink the values of your youth. This is approximately like the transitional age in youth, only it comes to maturity, around the age of thirty. In this situation, you understand that you “lived aimlessly” your youth, and you can’t get it back. Is it possible to start a new life at thirty? Certainly! And here's how:1) Play sports! It's never too late. Of course, you are unlikely to get to the Olympics, but you will get your body in order. 2) Think about whether everything is fine in your personal life? If you are unhappy in your marriage, or still live with your mother, then it’s time to sort it out. 3) Think about your friends: if you feel that those with whom you spend time are dragging you down, you should immediately untie this ballast. Otherwise, your ship will also sink. 4) Work: Consider the following questions:- Why did I choose this job? Am I paid enough? Do they bring me joy? Do I like the team? Do I want to work at this job until I retire?
You can start all over again at 40 years old
Remember Henry Ford. His famous company “Ford Motors” was founded by him at the age of 40! Or Colonel Sanders? Or Red Bull founder Dietrich Mateschitz. They all began their path to fame at the age of 40. If it worked for them, why can’t it work for you? Fifty years. The round date is exactly half a century. But, if you feel that further life is becoming difficult for you, then who said that nothing can be changed? For many, life is just beginning at fifty. If you feel like you're getting old and can't keep up with life, then this is a great reason to immediately change your life. Urgently think about what you would like to do in a new, happy life and go ahead to exploits. Life is given to us once, and it cannot be wasted. Just start looking younger - change your hairstyle, look for some modern gadgets, look for a hobby on the side, in the end. Just remember that you don’t have much choice - either keep up with the times, or a rocking chair, a blanket and endless TV series... Do you need it?
Neil Fiore's book "The Easy Way to Start a New Life"
This work by a famous psychologist is dedicated to how to start a new life. It says that doing this is not as difficult as it seems. Brief description of the book From the author’s point of view, a person develops bad habits precisely at the time when he is trying to cope with stressful situation. Neil Fiore teaches you how to unlock the enormous potential within yourself that will allow you to cope even with difficult life situations. The book is written with irony, but at the same time it is not harsh. Professional psychologist understands well that his audience is people who have experienced stress and are very vulnerable. But the work contains many comical situations that will not only explain how to get out of the situation correctly, but will also have a lot of fun. Download Neil Fiore's book " The easy way to begin a new life"Vladimir Gerasichev: “After the film, start a new life”
If you don’t like reading books, then you can get information on how to start living again from a wonderful video that lasts just over an hour. It is only advisable to watch it to the end. This is a film by Vladimir Gerasichev about how different people achieve their goals. What’s impressive about the video is that a person is taught here not so much to be successful, but to be happy. After all, while some cannot realize their dream, others simply do not even have it. All these situations are analyzed by the author of the video.The best motivational training film
The video “After the film, start a new life” can rightfully be called the best. Yes, the author sometimes speaks harshly to people who came to him for training. Perhaps this is being done to motivate lazy people. But for those who have lost hope, it’s good to pay attention to Nick Vujicic- a man who has no arms or legs, and Slava Polunin - a famous clown, and also the winner of a rare award. There are other heroes here, and they are so different that everyone can find an example to follow. How it was possible to fit so much into a short video is beyond belief!Watch Video: Life Changing Movie
Why you can’t start life over again - psychology
There's a lot here different options, why exactly nothing works for you:1) Perhaps someone is pulling you down? Friends, work, family, co-workers... All of them can be the reason for your failures: colleagues set you up, your wife nags you, friends call you only when they need a drinking buddy... This is all a heavy burden and in order to throw it away, you need to forever understand that you will have to get rid of those dragging you to the bottom once and for all. Radically. Yes, it may be cruel, but when gangrene spreads along the leg, the leg is cut off in order to save the entire body. Like this. 2) Laziness? Perhaps you are simply not ready to work to change your life? Of course, laziness often overcomes each of us, but think about what will happen if you don’t start working on changing your life. All of the above are paths to nowhere. And if you don’t turn away from them, then your life will become even more miserable than it is now. Is this what you want? If not, then start changing, or you will continue to vegetate. 3) Perhaps there are objective circumstances that are stopping you? Illnesses of relatives, debts, small children and others life situations, preventing you from developing here and now. Here you need to understand that such situations do not last forever and can be resolved by you if you take them seriously. Children will grow up, relatives will recover, and you will pay off your debts. It’s never too late to start a new life, the main thing is that on the way to this there is nothing that will drag you back. 4) Perhaps you are dominated by a tyrant relative. This is a most unpleasant situation, but you can get out of it. You won’t be able to do this right away, but you can start squeezing the slave out of yourself drop by drop, and this will definitely lead you to success. The first thing to do is to leave the despot by hook or by crook. You need to leave it to yourself, and during this time you need to work on yourself. You can find a defender, moral support in the person of other relatives, friends, your other half, and even a child. Such a transfer of the fulcrum will give respite, new strength and a sense of freedom. And if necessary, you will even have to rein in the tyrant, show him his place. It’s easier if the despot is the mother-in-law or father-in-law, it’s worse if own parents. But you are already an adult, you have the right to your own life and your own opinion. Implement it, you can do it! In conclusion, I want to say that there are no insoluble problems. Also, there are no unsolvable situations. There are only your capabilities that can be improved, and your laziness. If you have arms and legs and are not bedridden, then everything can still be fixed! You should not give up, and you should always try to approach everything with humor. The exception, of course, is death loved one, there is no time for jokes. But you can rise above other adversities and even ridicule them. And when your soul becomes lighter, it will no longer be so difficult to cope with the problem. Rising above the bustle, you will feel a new person in yourself. You can even do the same thing you did before, but you will find yourself again, you will become younger in soul. And then you can safely say that you have started to live all over again.
There are other ways to start a new life, so Altucher urges listening with a grain of salt. This cheat sheet works for him. However, he has seen it work for several hundred other people. James was able to verify this by conducting numerous interviews for his podcast, reading letters addressed to him, and simply living for the last twenty years.
James Altucher
So, if you dream of changing your life, trying something new, then this is for you Faktrum publishes these useful and uncompromising tips.
1. Updating never stops
Every day you reinvent yourself. You are always on the move. And every day you decide what kind of movement it is - forward or backward.
2. You start from the beginning
Every title from the past that you will defend is just vanity. Were you a doctor? Graduated from an Ivy League university? Were you a millionaire? Did you have a family? Nobody cares. You have lost everything. You are zero. Don't even try to prove that you are anything.
3. You need a mentor
Otherwise you will go to the bottom. Someone needs to teach you how to move and breathe. Don't worry too much about this point.
4. Here are three types of mentors
- Direct. Someone who is next to you, who tells you how he achieved everything. What lies behind “everything”? More on this later. By the way, the mentor is not at all someone like the elderly Japanese man from the 1984 film “The Karate Kid”. Almost all mentors will hate you.
- Indirect. These are books and films. You can get 90% of mentoring from books and other materials. 200–500 books are comparable to one good mentor. You ask: “What good book do you recommend?” There is no answer to this question. There are 200-500 good books that you should read. Whatever your beliefs, read every day.
- Everything around you is a mentor. If you are a blank slate and strive for renewal, then everything around you becomes a metaphor for action. You see a tree, but you don’t see its roots and the underground sources that feed it - all this is a metaphor for computer program, if you put the facts together correctly. In the future, you will find connections in everything you see.
5. Don't worry if you don't have a passion for anything.
You are concerned about your health. Start with this. Small steps. You don't need a strong mental drive to succeed. Do your job with love, and success will follow.
6. It takes 5 years to update
Here is a transcript of these five years:
- Year one: you scatter your energy on a lot of useless things, read voraciously and are just starting to take real action.
- Year two: you know with whom and why you need to communicate. Dedicate yourself to your work every day. Finally realize that your aspirations are like a Monopoly board.
- Year three: you are already good enough to start earning your first money. But life is still far from ideal.
- Year four: you are living a beautiful life
- Year five: you earn wealth.
It's easy to get discouraged in the first four years. “Why is nothing happening yet?” - such a question will torment you. This is fine. Just keep going. Or stop and choose new area. After all, you are already dead, and starting a new life is a difficult matter.
7. If you're doing it faster or slower, you're doing something wrong.
The history of Google illustrates this well.
8. It's not about the money. But money is a good measure
When people say “it's not about the money,” they should be sure they have another good measure. “What if you just do what you love?” - you ask. Keep in mind that there are many days ahead in which you will hate what you do. If you do something just for the love of it, it will take much longer than five years. Happiness is only positive impulses in our brain. Sometimes you will be unhappy. The brain is a tool we use, not who we are.
9. When can you say “I’m doing X,” where X is your new career?
10. When can I start doing X?
Today. If you want to become an artist, buy a canvas and paints today, start purchasing the first of 500 books and pick up a brush. If you want to learn to write, then do three things:
- Read
- Write
- Take your favorite work by your favorite author and rewrite it word for word. Ask yourself why he chose those particular words. Today he is your mentor.
If you want to start your own business, start thinking about a business idea. The update starts today. And it continues every day.
11. How will I earn money?
Over three years, you will devote 5-7 thousand hours to the business. This is enough to become one of the top two or three hundred in anything. The top 200 specialists in almost any field make a pretty decent living. By the third year you will know how to make money. By the fourth year you will already be earning enough. Some stop at the fourth year.
By the fifth year, you will be among the top 30-50 in your business and have amassed a fortune.
12. How do you know what exactly you need to do?
Everything that your soul will feel while reading 500 books. Go to a bookstore and find this. If you're still bored after three months, go back to the bookstore.
13. How do you know what exactly you need to do?
It's normal to be disappointed. Success is better than failure, but we learn the most important lessons from failure. It is very important not to rush. You will find yourself again many times throughout your life. interesting life. And there will be many mistakes. Find the positives in it.
When you make drastic life changes several times, your chronicle turns into interesting book stories, in a non-boring textbook. Many people want their life story to be a verified textbook. For better or worse, the book “Altucher” is a book of stories.
14. Your choices today will become your biography tomorrow.
Make interesting decisions and you will have an interesting biography.
15. What should I do if I like some kind of absurdity? For example, biblical archeology or 11th century warfare?
Follow all the steps above and you'll be making a ton of money by year five. How? No idea. Don't try to find the end of the road on the first step.
16. What should I do if my family wants me to work as a financier?
How many years of your life have you promised your family? Ten years? All life? And then wait next life. Good news it's up to you to choose.
Choose freedom or family. Freedom from prejudice. Freedom from authorities. Freedom from having to please people. Then you will please yourself.
17. My mentor wants me to follow his path.
Great. Study his path. And then do it your way. Sincerely. No one is putting a gun to your head, is it?
18. My spouse is worried about who will take care of the children.
Then get on with your new life after a 16-hour day as a janitor. Anyone who reinvents himself will always have free time. Set aside a little time for your business. Reflect on it whenever possible.
19. What if my friends think I'm crazy?
What other friends?
20. What if I want to be an astronaut?
This is not reinventing yourself, but just specific work. Do you like outer space? You have a big one career choice. Richard Branson wanted to be an astronaut and launched Virgin Galactic.
21. What if I like to party and drink?
Read this post in a year.
22. What if I cheat on my wife/husband or betray my partner?
Re-read this post in two or three years, when you get divorced, lose your job and no one needs you.
23. What if I have no skills at all?
Re-read point 2.
24. What if I have no education or a useless diploma?
Re-read point 2.
25. What if I have to pay off debts or a mortgage?
Re-read paragraph 18.
26. Why do I always feel like an outsider?
Albert Einstein was the same. Each of us at some point feels out of place. Highest degree creativity born out of skepticism.
Just give up.
28. What if I'm too sick to update?
Renewal stimulates the production of useful chemical substances in your body: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. As you continue to move forward, you may not be completely cured, but you will become healthier. Don't use illness as an excuse. Finally, take care of your health. Sleep more, eat more. Play sports. These are the key steps to start a new life.
29. What if my previous partner cheated on me and I'm still dating him?
Stop the litigation and never think about him again. Half the problem was you, not him.
29. What if I go to prison?
Fabulous. Reread point 2. Read a lot of books in prison.
30. What if I'm shy?
Turn your weaknesses into yours strengths. Introverts listen more attentively, focus better, and are more effective at winning people over.
31. What if I can't wait five years?
If you plan to live another five years at all, it would be good to start today.
32. What is the best way to meet people?
Imagine a concentric circle. You are in the center.
The next circle is friends and family.
Next is online communities.
The next one is meetings based on interests and invitations to coffee.
The next one is conferences and opinion leaders.
The next one is mentors.
The next one is clients and producers of goods.
Develop relationships through these circles.
33. What if I think I'm the best at what I do?
After 6-12 months you will return to point 2.
34. What if I'm passionate about two things? different areas and can't choose from them?
Combine the two areas and you become the best in combination.
Start teaching with YouTube videos. Start with one student and see if the audience grows.
36. What if I want to make money while I sleep?
In the fourth year, outsource your business.
37. How to meet mentors and opinion leaders?
Once you have enough knowledge (after 100-200 books), write 10 ideas for 20 potential mentors. None of them will answer. Write 10 more ideas for 20 new potential mentors. Repeat this weekly. Make a mailing to those who don't respond. Keep going until someone answers. Start a blog about your efforts. Build a community around what you want to become an expert in.
39. What if I can't come up with an idea?
Keep practicing coming up with ideas. The muscles responsible for ideas atrophy over time. You have to build those muscles.
It's difficult to reach your toes unless you exercise every day. To do this, you need to repeat the exercises regularly. Don't expect ideas to start coming on the first day.
After books, read websites, forums, magazines. But, by and large, there is only garbage there.
41. What if I do everything you say and it still doesn't work?
It will work. Just wait. Don't try to see the end of the road. The fog prevents you from seeing your destination. But you can see where to take the next step, and you know that every step brings you closer to the end of the road.
42. What should I do if I'm depressed?
Spend an hour in silence. This is required to reconnect with your inner self. If you think it sounds stupid, don't do it. And continue to sink into depression.
43. What if all this scares me?
Sleep eight to nine hours a day and never gossip. Sleep is the key to health. But not the only key, just No. 1. Some people say: “I only need four hours of sleep” or “in my home country, sleep is equated with laziness.” Well, these people will face failure and early death.
When it comes to gossip, our brains biologically tend to be friends with 150 people. When you are alone with one of your friends, you start discussing the 149 others. If you don't have 150 friends, then your brain forces you to read gossip magazines to create the illusion that you have those 150 friends.
Don't be as stupid as your brain.
44. What if I continue to feel that none of this will work for me?
Take ten minutes a day to practice gratitude. Don't suppress fear. Pay attention to anger. Anger is never encouraging, but gratitude is a good way to deal with it. Gratitude is the bridge between your world and parallel universe, where all creative ideas live.
45. What if I constantly have to deal with people who don't believe in me?
Find yourself a new environment. Anyone who starts life with a clean slate encounters those who encourage them to deviate from the intended path. Biology tells your brain to protect you from danger, and renewal is risk. So get ready to say goodbye to people who are trying to stop you.
And learn to say no.
46. What if I'm happy sitting in an office cubicle at my current job??
47. How can I trust you when you have failed several times?
Don't trust.
48. Will you be my mentor?
You have already read this post!
Probably every person at least once wanted to start a new life. If you feel a desire to change something in your life, then it appeared for a reason and you should not ignore it.
How to start a new life and change yourself
There is no need to be afraid to part with the past.
Many people simply cannot imagine starting the next day any other way. After all, it often seems that things could get worse. However, if you are optimistic about tomorrow and look forward to changes for the better, it will happen.
Make a list of problems that you want to eliminate from your life.
Read it carefully, feel your negative attitude towards them and burn this list. This is a psychological technique that will help you overcome your troubles to start a new life.
Find a new hobby. Very often, new hobbies help a person overcome depression, open up new horizons in life, and help distract from negative thoughts. That is why a new hobby must appear in the life of a person who wants to start a new life.
Meet new people, make new friends.
From communicating with new people you can gain knowledge and emotions that will be useful to you in your new life. This doesn't mean you need to cut ties with friends from your past. You only need to break up with those people who create problems for you.
Remove from your sight everything that reminds you of past life.
It could be a photograph ex-wife or documents from previous work. You shouldn't destroy them, because when you start a new life, the memories won't be so painful.
Change your appearance.
It is not for nothing that there is an opinion that changes in appearance are equivalent to the beginning of a new life. We do not advise you to make radical changes in your appearance, although if you want, you can afford them. It’s enough just to slightly change your hairstyle, update your makeup, and consult with a stylist about your clothes. At first glance, this recommendation applies only to the fair sex, however, men can also change their appearance somewhat.
Learn from your mistakes from your past life and try not to repeat them.
Of course, you made the decision to start a new life for a reason, so try to make the most of your experience so as not to repeat the mistakes of your past life.
Starting a new life at 40
There is hardly a person in our country who has not heard catchphrase that “at forty, life is just beginning.” However, how true is it? This is not at all as simple as it seems, because forty years is a rather difficult time of a midlife crisis.
Focus on your achievements, not your failures.
The main difficulty of this age is that at this time most people begin to sum up some results, analyze what has been done and what has not been achieved. There will always be things that were not completed and goals that could not be achieved. Therefore, the main attention should be focused on the positive aspects, while outlining plans for the future.
If you want to change your life, change your attitude towards it.
Is it worth it once again remind that dissatisfaction own life will not lead to changes for the better. Live as if everything is fine with you, and soon you will see the first positive changes and realize that you managed to start a new life at 40 years old.
Do what you love.
If you've spent many years working in a job you don't love and that's stressful, maybe now is the time to make a change. Even if you can’t change jobs right now, find a hobby you enjoy. Who knows, maybe after a while it will become your job.
Make your cherished dream come true.
Nothing inspires and invigorates more than the fulfillment of long-standing desires. Maybe you for a long time you denied yourself some interesting trip, or maybe you wanted to buy something for yourself. Now is the time to do it.
Take care of your health.
You definitely need to take care of your health and appearance, because only a healthy and attractive person can confidently take on new things. In order to feel good, you need good sleep, balanced diet and moderate physical exercise. If you have bad habits, it's time to give them up. This will give you additional self-confidence and faith in own strength.
How to start life at 40? If you put in some effort and believe in yourself, you will definitely be able to achieve success. new stage development. The main thing is to remember that your soul has no age, which means you will definitely have enough vital energy to survive. a large number of new achievements.
What's stopping you from starting a new life?
Absolutely any day of the year is suitable for starting a new life. The question is often different: “How to start living again”? If you say that it is easy, it will not be true, but the efforts made will undoubtedly justify all your hopes. Before you begin direct leadership, keep in mind that you need an irresistible desire to change everything and an unshakable belief in success.
Let's get rid of the past
All the events you experienced, memories of them, negative thoughts represent your past. To start a new life, you need to get rid of this unnecessary burden, let's stretch our imagination and imagine the past in the form of a suitcase. Huge and inconvenient, crammed to capacity with unnecessary nonsense, it takes up both your hands and partially blocks your view. You have long understood that the contents only bother you and burden you, but you don’t dare throw them away, thereby freeing your hands.
Walking through life, as if through the streets, you notice new objects that you want to take, new people who you want to extend your hand to greet and get to know, but your hands are full. Now that you understand that your past is only weighing you down and taking up space in your heart and mind, you are ready to throw away your suitcase!
Forgiveness
It is impossible to start a new life without forgiving yourself and others associated with you. Forgiveness is the main condition of any liberation. This stage is perhaps the most difficult. To make it easier to overcome it, make a list of people who offended you, and everyone against whom you have even the slightest complaint, including relatives, loved ones, friends, parents, etc. Then, taking a comfortable position, close your eyes and imagine the people on the list.
Let each of them approach you in turn. Ask him sincerely (this is important!) for forgiveness for the hurt caused, and then listen to his apology, hug and feel relief. Then let the next person from the list come up and so on until it ends. This is the longest ritual on the path to liberation, but integral and important.
The last person in this line should be yourself. Apologize for opportunities you didn’t use, for wrong decisions made, perhaps for something else, and let your previously conflicting halves merge into one whole. Open your eyes, take a deep breath and feel empowered because your hands are now free.
Setting a goal and moving towards it
The main secret is the goal, the ability to set it correctly and achieve it. And to do this you only need to do two things:
- Determine your goal as accurately as possible.
- Act, daily performing the necessary manipulations to start a new life.
Make a list of goals, hang it above your bed or write it in your diary, and most importantly, constantly look at it, adjust or change goals, write down new ones. Monitor yourself with questions to determine the importance of your goals:
- How will I feel when I get what I want?
- Do I really want this or am I doing this to please someone?
- How does this goal combine with others, does it conflict?
Don't be afraid of anything and start every day with a smile.