What to do when the mood is at zero... when you give up... when you don’t see where to go, and you want to give up everything... once and for all.
Know that even at this moment you are NOT ALONE. There are MANY people like you. There really are a LOT of us already!
So different, so different... and yet I = YOU. YOU = ME.
We offer you 20 quotes famous people as support and inspiration on your journey! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
1. “If you are always in a hurry, you may miss a miracle.” Lewis Carroll
2. “Believe in the fact that there is something to live for, and your faith will help this fact come true.” William James
3. “To reach the goal, you must first go.” Honore de Balzac
4. “The biggest mistake you can make in life is to be constantly afraid of being wrong.” Elbert Hubbard
5. “What is the purpose of man? Be him." Stanislav Lec
6. “Knowledge is a treasure, but the key to it is practice.” Fuller Thomas
7. “Life is not suffering. It’s just you suffering from it, instead of living and enjoying it.” Dan Millman
8. “The fate of a person who sits still does not move.” Philip Farmer
9. “There is no point in looking for a place where you will feel good. It makes sense to learn how to create this well anywhere..."
10. “You cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can always raise the sails to achieve your goal.” Oscar Wilde
11. “When you feel very bad, raise your head. You will definitely see the sunshine." Drew Barrymore
12. “While we pedal and steer towards our goal, it is important not to forget about the beauty that opens before us every day.” Paulo Coelho
13. “Life is beautiful when you create it yourself.” Sophie Marceau
14. “When you really want something, the whole Universe will help you to Your wish came true." Paulo Coelho
15. “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it frees the future.”
16. “This world is like an echo in the mountains: if we give up anger, anger returns; if we give love, love comes back.” Osho
17. “Most people are only as happy as they decide to be.” Abraham Lincoln
18. “You can only see what you believe. Believe it and you will see.” Wayne Dyer
19. “You won’t see the most important thing; Only the heart is vigilant." Antois De Saint Exupéry
20. “The goal of every person’s life is to become as happy as possible. Happiness is the goal to which all other goals come down. » Deepak Chopra
Many thanks to my VKontakte administrator Natalya Bukhovtseva for such a wonderful selection of quotes!
A person with cancer needs communication and your warmth. © Shutterstock
In such difficult situation When a person has such a terrible diagnosis as cancer, it is difficult to advise anything. The patient's family is in shock, having difficulty understanding what and how to do.
In the West, many questions from the patient and his loved ones are answered by an oncologist. In our clinics, unfortunately, this position is not even provided staffing table. That is why the international charitable foundation AICM, with the support charitable foundation"Development of Ukraine" has published advice for such difficult situations.
All advice is maximally adapted to Ukrainian realities, because Ukrainian specialists took part in the creation of the brochure: oncologist highest category Konstantin Yarynich and psychologist Vladimir Tarasov.
What kind of support does a sick person expect?
A person who suddenly finds himself faced with a terrible disease expects, first of all, support from his loved ones, because victory over the disease is impossible without self-confidence and fortitude.
A person with cancer expects support from loved ones during treatment and during consultations with a doctor. Because the patient is sometimes confused and cannot ask the right questions to the doctor. This can help close person. In addition, a loved one will help you understand medical terms, choose the right treatment and help you get through it.
What not to say to a cancer patient
A cancer patient needs to be listened to and reassured. But you can’t tell him that the illness is temporary and will pass quickly, you can’t simplify the situation, because this will give him the feeling that the situation is not serious and doesn’t require special attention. Or the sick person will perceive these words as a manifestation of indifference.
When talking to a person with cancer, you cannot share your fears and experiences associated with his illness. Under no circumstances should you cry in the presence of the patient; on the contrary, he needs to show confidence in the future.
A sick person should not be given statistics related to the disease, even if they seem optimistic. After all, a person with cancer may perceive them completely differently, and will see a half-empty glass in front of them rather than a half-full one.
You cannot compare illnesses when talking to a patient. different people, even if the diagnosis is similar. Only a doctor can make such comparisons with a certain probability, since cancer can have distinctive characteristics even under similar conditions.
What is important for a cancer patient in everyday life?
It is especially important for a person with cancer to have a loved one nearby, their attention and touch, understanding and support during treatment. You should not hide your feelings from a sick person and claim that your life has not changed.
We need to honestly say: “Yes, we have difficulties today, but together we will overcome them.” It is necessary to show the person that you understand his fear of treatment, illness, death, and empathize with him. Although the words “death”, “relapse”, “cancer” should be avoided in direct communication. Do not let the patient withdraw into himself, although be understanding if he wants to be alone for some time.
Don't tell a person with cancer, "Call me if you need anything." Better say: “Today I will be free, let me come in and we will decide what we can do together.”
It is especially important that everyday life the patient’s lifestyle did not change dramatically so that the person’s role in the family remained the same. A person with cancer should participate in family life, go to work if possible, you need to, as before, consult with him and solve problems.
But at the same time, it is necessary to understand that specific treatment causes in a cancer patient not only general poor health, but also sudden mood swings, up to aggression or alienation, a desire to be alone and not communicate with anyone. All this must be understood and accepted, patiently hoping only for the best.
You cannot avoid talking about your well-being and pain; on the contrary, the patient should have the opportunity to speak out, discuss his condition and ask for help. And instead of the question: “Is everything okay?” It’s better to ask: “How are you feeling?”
When communicating with a cancer patient, it is very important to maintain contact and trust; communication should take place on equal terms, without obvious playing along.
All these tips and more useful recommendations can be read in the brochure “If someone close to you has been diagnosed with cancer?”, which was recently published by the international charitable foundation AICM with the support of the charitable foundation “Development of Ukraine”.
Good afternoon friends! Relatives of people who have suffered from one or another cancer disease often come to me with a request. support their loved one. Their letters are filled with despair, grief, and tears. How can I help my loved one?; What should/should I do?; How can I cure my husband/wife, help my daughter/son, cure my mom or dad? - they ask.
Since I had too much material on this issue accumulated in my head, I decided to break it into two parts. And today I will try to convey misconceptions about responsibility for the health of a loved one.
Of course, support from loved ones people is necessary for a person facing such a challenge as oncology. But sometimes relatives don’t even suspect that sometimes their intrusive attention and care, they can mobilize all their strength and devote it to their own recovery.
Other people's goals...
More than once one of my clients’ stated goals is to cure a loved one. Is this true? In my opinion, this goal doomed to fail. Why?
Because this goal is not yours, it is someone else’s goal.
Why do you need to treat him? Maybe he likes being sick somewhere on a subconscious level? Maybe this person needs the disease to teach him some lesson, to teach him something, to move him from a “dead point”? Why are you stopping him from dealing with his own illness?
Why should you be responsible for the health of a loved one? After all, he himself did not care or care about his health, and only he is responsible for his decisions.
Even a surgeon, when he performs an operation, does not set himself the goal of curing the patient. His goal is to successfully perform the operation without errors in order to help the patient recover as much as possible.
Remember that you cannot decide once and for all what is good for the patient and what is bad.
Personally, I find only one explanation for why people set such a goal for themselves. They depend on the patient person, it doesn’t matter psychologically or financially.
You had a calm and happy existence, some habits. There were wonderful pictures of the future regarding your loved one, but now it collapses in an instant.
It is possible that upon learning about the illness of a loved one, you experience an even greater shock than the sick person himself. The entire future disappears in one moment, leaving only emptiness. The emptiness is frightening and paralyzing. It needs to be filled with something new, but where does the strength come from?
Do you recognize yourself?
I need him/her because I:
- it will be difficult without him/her;
- I can't live without him/her;
- I will be lost without him/her;
- I don’t like the world without him/her;
- the world will be empty without him/her;
- who will the children stay with?
- Add yours in the comments below.
How to properly support a loved one?
Of course, a loved one can play a huge role in the recovery of the patient, but can he “cure”?
To answer this question, d First let's figure it out what a relative or simply a close person may experience in relation to the sick person, and which of these components will be positive and contribute to recovery, and which, on the contrary, will interfere.
Typically, there are three options:
- responsibility for the illness of a loved one;
- feeling of guilt for illness;
- caring for the sick.
What can we advise our relatives on how to behave, looking at the situation from the point of view of an oncology patient?
Do not take responsibility for your loved one’s illness!
Some people have small (and sometimes VERY big) problems understanding this rule.
I love this man, he is not a stranger to me, his life is my life, his illnesses are my illnesses, I am obliged to cure him, I am obliged to help him.
Responsibility for the illness of a loved one
We were all taught at school that being a responsible person is good, and being irresponsible is bad.
Indeed, to be the master own life- this is the main quality of a successful healthy person. If a person does not take responsibility in all my life take on yourself, then there is immediately someone nearby who can take responsibility for your life and begin to manage you. Where a person is afraid, hesitant, or lazy to make a decision, others do it for him.
But in our case, the person is sick, and, as everyone knows, “saving a drowning person is the work of the drowning person himself.” Remember Munchausen pulling himself out of the swamp?
A person who has just been diagnosed with cancer is, to put it mildly, in shock, and sometimes his relatives at this moment completely take the initiative into their own hands and begin to take him to doctors, etc. And this is absolutely correct. This is called showing care and help. But we will talk about them later - in the second part.
Can't take excessive responsibility to myself. What is excess responsibility? Excessive responsibility is when you take responsibility for something over which you have no control.
How I have no power, I will move mountains for my beloved! - you will say, and you will be right, but there is a very THIN, almost invisible line between taking responsibility for someone else’s life and showing care for your loved one. The first carries a destructive, overwhelming force that maintains the weakness and powerlessness of the patient, the second carries healing power and confidence in recovery: “Together we will cope and overcome all difficulties. I'll be with you all the time until YOU you will fight and heal!”
When you are filled with excessive responsibility, you extinguish the patient’s will to recover. You can only harm him.
Let him look for answers to the questions of why he got sick. The health of your relative is not your business! His health and life are his life. And yours is yours!
Positive effect on recovery:
- Help a loved one undergo treatment: go to doctors together, take the patient to procedures, etc.
- Create an atmosphere around a sick person where the needs of not only the patient, but also all other family members are met.
- Allowing the patient to carry on with his normal daily routine and praising him for doing well.
- Expand your area of interest, come up with some new hobby that is not related to the disease. In a word, do something that will distract you from the disease and bring positive emotions.
- Discuss openly and honestly the problems associated with the disease - the likelihood of relapse and death.
Negative impact on recovery
- complete deprivation of the patient's physical independence.
- hiding some problems in the family, hiding the diagnosis and negative prognosis.
- “indulgence” of the patient’s weakness.
- task: to make him/her healthy, to cure a person.
I hope that this material will be useful to you. In the second part we will talk about the feeling of guilt and how you need to take care of the patient so that it benefits him.
1. Get well soon, may illnesses and illnesses go far away from you forever, may strength and vigor return to you, fill your soul with hope and optimism, may the energy of the sun, the power of the earth, and the support of loved ones help you recover and get back on track with life’s events and again have the pleasure of creating, dreaming and loving!
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2. Get well soon, let the illness become only a short-term test that you can quickly overcome. I wish you to gain courage, follow the doctors’ recommendations, and tune in for the fastest possible healing. Think about the good, then all ailments will recede!
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3. Illness can never be an obstacle to the feelings of loved ones, right? That’s why I continue to think and worry about you, about how you feel on the spiritual and physical plane, in your emotional world. Dear little man, I want to wish you an active recovery, because you should once again enjoy the world around you and successful life. We will definitely make every effort to successfully eliminate the disease, which can knock you off your feet and bedridden. Very soon you will go outside again and be able to smile at the sun and think: “I’m healthy, finally!” Don’t waste a single day to successfully fight your illness, but take action. My support and care, I hope, will be useful. I believe that in the very near future we will go on an active walk, enjoying life to the fullest. Get well soon, please, dear.
4. Any illness can pass, and your illness will definitely be eliminated in the shortest possible time. Try to follow all the advice of experienced doctors who know how and with what to treat the existing disease. Follow a routine for your quick recovery, give preference to nutritious foods. Need to do something around the house, cook healthy dishes? Just tell me and I will definitely come. Now I am sending you impulses of goodness and happiness, I wish you good health and strong immunity. Let health return and allow you to look at the world differently. Life is given so that you find in it every day bright colors and used the chances to make his dreams come true. Close people and Good friends should always be together, that's why I'm next to you now. Get well, please, because you will make yourself and me happy by fulfilling this wish!
Wishes for recovery in your own words
5. My sunshine, get well, such a kind and good person shouldn’t get sick. I am very worried and sincerely hope that you will recover quickly and be back in in great shape, fully armed and with full readiness to achieve great goals and conquer peaks.
6. My dear little man, let your illness leave you, get well soon. Stop being sick, let's conquer this world and enjoy life, strive for dreams and realize your ideas. Sunny, get better and don’t get sick anymore.
7. My soul can’t find a place, my bunny is sick. My beloved little man, get well soon, honey, let’s get well and boldly go into battle, go ahead - conquer this world and fly towards bright happiness!
8 Illness is always untimely, They won’t invite her to visit... I want to wish you a speedy recovery! Let your strength quickly return to your weakened body, and quickly appear beautiful, so that nothing hurts in the future!
9. The most important thing for a person in life is his health. It’s not without reason that the phrase “A healthy mind in a healthy body!” has been known since time immemorial! This is really true, because if you are healthy, it means you have - great mood and any matter is argued. Therefore, with all my heart I wish you the very best health!
10. Beloved, I wish you to move towards recovery in step with your immunity. But first, let's start preparing for the fight raspberry jam, honey and linden tea.
Wishes for recovery in prose
11. I wish you to spin in a dynamic waltz as soon as possible with correction, relief and complete recovery!
12. I wish that every cell of your body works for recovery and overall improvement, and the sweet, sunny orange juice that I left on your nightstand will not go amiss!
13. Let every link of your immunity be strong, strong, heat-resistant... Which is not afraid of any viruses, illnesses and temperature changes! Let's get well soon my dear!
14. I will rise with the sun, walk through forests and roads, and collect the dew of health in my palm. And you, having washed yourself with happiness, will forget about your worries, you will be able to completely beat your illness! Let the disease run shamefully into its den, slam the doors behind it and don’t open it again. And courage, feel free to call for help, about laughter and good mood, look, don’t forget!
15. I wish you to become healthy as soon as possible, forget all medications and bitter mixtures, have fun again and play football in the morning, completely forgetting that you have a temperature.
I want my body to quickly overcome all the pain that has accumulated, so that everything around me will be fine, and so that the disease will not happen again.
Get well wishes pictures
