Self-esteem and self-love determine our mental comfort. By denying his own personality, a person cannot believe in his own strengths and lowers his level of aspirations. Analyze how well you feel about yourself.
Self-respect, usually called self-esteem, and self-esteem constitute the core of personality. Our motivations, life goals and aspirations depend on the level of self-esteem.
To understand how well you feel about yourself, answer the question: “Do you accept yourself as you are?” Or have you created an unattainable image, you understand that you are far from it, but you don’t even try to get closer to your ideal self?
While the superego is vigorously performing morning jogging, eats a balanced diet, reads smart books, never goes out peace of mind and does not know defeat in arguments, the ego mostly reclines on the couch and watches TV after returning from a hateful job. There is no need to talk about self-respect in this situation. It’s another matter if a person behaves as his ideal image could act, or at least commits real steps in the right direction.
The conflict between the ideal image and reality will hinder self-esteem until you begin to overcome natural laziness and engage in self-improvement. True, there are more easy way– give up the ideal image, lower the bar. The place of your ideal image will be taken by a lazy person and a slob, and you will merge in a harmonious union. It's unlikely you'll be proud of yourself, but maybe it won't bother you. I hope no one has the desire to relax and grunt?
How to grow self-esteem
So, self-esteem increases as we gradually move closer to our own created ideal, and decreases as we move away from it. Let's figure out the ideal image. Do you know him well? How do you measure up to him? I propose to create your ideal portrait: what would we like to be if the circumstances were favorable?
Let's take it Blank sheet and in a column we write down the qualities that our ideal ego should have. We look through the list and note the qualities that we already possess. Are there many coincidences? The more there are, the higher the level of self-esteem should be. In other words, the closer the ideal, the more reasons to respect yourself. By the way, the absolute coincidence of the ideal and the real indicates excessive self-confidence or low self-esteem.
The real and ideal selves cannot coincide with an adequate assessment of oneself, because then the conflict will disappear - driving force, forcing us to move forward and improve. And without development, degradation begins - this is inevitable. The surmountable discrepancy between the ideal and the real self forces one to grow and respect oneself. But what to do if the discrepancies are huge, and there is no strength to change anything?
Let's deal with self-esteem
Psychologists say that you first need to understand how the false image was formed, since self-esteem with such an imbalance is clearly inadequate.
For example, Peter dreams of earning 20 thousand rubles a month without control from his boss. Fedor is making plans for a bungalow on the ocean and spiritual practices in Tibet. If in the first case there is low self-esteem, then in the second there are ambitious goals and needs of a completely different plan. Of course, these people have very different ideas about themselves, and apparently the ways to achieve their goals will also be different.
The plans of a person who respects himself are quite feasible, although their implementation requires tension. But with distorted self-esteem, underestimated or overestimated, self-respect, for the most part, is a farce. A person with an incomplete secondary education who imagines himself to be a president and a certified philologist who works as a loader are equally far from true self-respect.
We recognize a person with self-esteem by his constant balance, goodwill and openness. A truly self-respecting person does not need to constantly put up cordons around his person; such a person is always ready for dialogue and is easy to communicate with. Another one characteristic– respectful attitude towards people, regardless of their age and status.
Unconditional self-respect
The second component of self-esteem is the basic attitude “I feel good (bad) about myself.” This conviction does not depend on the opinions of others or on our real merits; it originates in the very early childhood when only the parents' assessment matters. If this component prevails, a person treats himself with respect.
By combining basic self-love with the feeling that you are getting closer to your own ideal image, self-respect is confirmed by self-esteem. This is the happy occasion when a person becomes balanced, effective and completely satisfied with the overall assessment of his life.
Distortions occur if, with real achievements, there is no emotional approval of oneself or, conversely, self-love is not supported by the grounds for self-esteem. There are feelings of undervaluation and resentment towards life.
The embodiment of self-esteem - the lion in natural environment a habitat. Are there many people who want to test how strong he is? This is how people feel how self-esteem is developed in us. Few people think of making a bad or vulgar joke with a person with developed self-esteem, or of manipulating him. Attempts are, of course, possible, but they are stopped clearly and unequivocally. Individuals suffering from low self-esteem periodically find themselves in situations where others abuse their kindness, humiliate them and interfere in their personal spheres. Lack of self-esteem becomes a provocation for individuals prone to rudeness, which leads to a deepening of the belief: “I am unworthy.”
How to learn to respect yourself
We cannot change those around us, so we will have to change ourselves. Learn to be proud of yourself and give yourself reasons to be so. One day you will notice how internal position will manifest itself in posture, gaze and facial expression. Rest assured, those around you will appreciate the changes, and you will like the changes.
Only you yourself can assess the state of your self-esteem and understand how much work lies ahead. We can give some general tips to get you started.
Don't deny yourself
Accept yourself as you are. This is how parents love their children - of course, regardless of their appearance and character flaws. There are no ideal people, but there are people who are confident in themselves.
Develop yourself
If you love yourself, try to improve yourself: read a lot, expand your horizons, work on yourself.
Learn to love yourself
We are not talking about selfishness, which is based solely on satisfying one’s own needs. But don’t treat yourself like an enemy, allow yourself some liberties at least sometimes. Make a list of pleasures that you would like to indulge in. Perhaps you will be delighted by shopping or a bath with fragrant foam, or maybe you have long dreamed of just spending the whole weekend at home reading a book. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Be loyal to yourself
Treat yourself tolerantly, don’t be angry with yourself if something doesn’t work out right away, don’t reproach yourself mercilessly for failures. Try again or more than once - and everything will definitely work out.
Find something you like
It’s hard to respect yourself if every morning you have to curse the alarm clock, drag yourself to a job you hate, and consider yourself a galley slave. Change your profession if necessary, but do what you love. When you stop making a daily sacrifice, you will feel like a creator and you will no longer have to worry about self-esteem.
"Census" of the environment
Analyze how pleasant the people you communicate with are. If you know there is someone you don't feel comfortable meeting, do your best to reduce contact to a minimum. You will get rid of negative emotions and stop feeling remorse for being constantly irritated.
Don't be fooled by empty promises
Learn to keep your promises. Having promised yourself something, try to fulfill it - you will enjoy it and at the same time increase your level of self-esteem.
Don't compare yourself to others
There is no need for you to compare yourself with anyone - you are a separate person, worthy of respect and not in need of role models. If someone, in your opinion, is worthy of imitation, evaluate his experience, analyze his actions, life principles. You can learn a lot from more successful people, but you don't have to compare yourself to them.
Let go of the past
Forget about your old grievances, forgive the offenders and wish them all the best. While you continually return to past events, the present passes by. You miss opportunities by continuing disputes that have already ended. This is a pointless waste of time and effort.
Value yourself, and if you think that there are not enough reasons for this, engage in self-improvement. We cannot always change our circumstances, but everyone can learn to live with dignity. Don’t do things that you will be ashamed of, don’t betray yourself and be honest with yourself - then you can respect yourself with every right.
Hello, dear readers! In this article I will tell you how to learn to love, appreciate and respect yourself. The question is always relevant, so I will consider it in detail, give advice from psychologists and effective exercises.
How much a person loves, values and respects himself determines life satisfaction and success. The stronger these feelings, the more victories and achievements. Otherwise on life path there are defeats and constant failures.
According to psychologists, self-esteem is the basis for happiness. A self-respecting person accepts his personality without discussion and recognizes his values and virtues. Respect breeds love and helps build relationships with people. It's easier to make friends and find a boyfriend or girlfriend.
People who do not love, value, or respect themselves experience inferiority, inability, and insecurity. As a result, doubts arise, and endeavors are accompanied by difficulties. In such conditions, achieving a goal or building relationships with people is problematic.
Such people are of the opinion that everything is set against them, and in the near future they will be ridiculed and condemned. Someone else's assessment greatly hurts, and excessive sensitivity, coupled with shyness and the expectation of bad events, is the reason why people avoid society.
Loneliness is not considered the key to relief. Such people want to be supported mentally and physically, but they do not dare to ask for it. The person who finds the answer to the question under consideration will cope with difficulties, enjoy life and achieve success.
How to love yourself - psychology
Every person should love himself. Some people don’t understand why to love themselves, thinking that this is a manifestation of narcissism and selfishness.
Everyone has children, a husband or wife. But each family member has his own life and there are times when it is better to pay attention to yourself. People often compare self-love to a manifestation of selfishness, but this is wrong. It’s all because of the fact that they don’t know the meaning of the expression “loving yourself.” Therefore, to begin with, I propose to understand this.
Loving yourself means believing in yourself. A person who loves himself knows that he can reach his goal and achieve results just as well as others.
Loving yourself means considering your body beautiful. Nobody forbids striving for the best. If you need to remove the sides, do it, but do not forget that beauty lies in the soul, smile and eyes.
Loving yourself means soberly assessing your possibilities. A person cannot be an expert in all areas. Someone is able to sell some little thing, someone sings, and someone is able to solve problems.
- You won't be able to force yourself to love. There are two ways to achieve your goal. Accept yourself as you are. If it doesn't work out, fight the shortcomings.
- Not everyone can cope with character or appearance flaws. Some try their best to remove their hips or get slim stomach, guided by advertising or wishes loved one. At the same time, they do not realize whether this is necessary. Everyone has their own positive features, and it is better to change at will.
- Without increasing your self-esteem, you won't be able to love yourself. Lack of confidence prevents the discovery of talents. Only confident person he can love himself, because he is capable of much. At the same time, he can give love to loved ones.
- It will not be possible to achieve the goal without sacrifices. Remember when you cannot do without sacrifice, and when there is no need for it. Don't neglect your needs. When choosing food, clothing and entertainment, be guided by interests and tastes.
Having realized that your body and soul are beautiful, love yourself and give joy and light to those around you. It will remain to maintain the condition.
Video tips
Do you like creativity? Give him more time. Do you like to visit restaurants or dress up? Don't think this is wrong. Do what brings emotion and pleasure. This is the only way you will find happiness.
Every person, regardless of gender and age, tries to bring something new and valuable into life, but even after receiving the result they do not value themselves. But in vain, because this is the only way to become better and smarter.
First of all, make a list of the important things you have done throughout your life to estimate the amount of work done. As a result, you will have reasons to value yourself. If this doesn't happen, get an incentive to learn.
- Increased self-esteem . The best way reach the goal. Self-esteem determines a person’s capabilities and actions, and its absence does not allow one to do even a simple thing. Pay due attention to the development of self-esteem.
- Self-development . Only a person who works on himself will achieve success. By focusing on development, you will benefit yourself and your loved ones. Later you realize that a lot in life depends on you. Play sports, read books, increase your IQ and gain experience. Mistakes and failures should not hinder the achievement of a goal, because thanks to them a person becomes stronger and better.
- Love and respect yourself . If you want to learn to value yourself, love and respect yourself always. A person cannot exist without mistakes and failures. There are positive aspects in everything. Without giving up, look for a way out of the situation. It is possible that after overcoming the barrier you will have the opportunity to find happiness and achieve success.
- Find strengths . Don't ignore shortcomings. Thanks to this, you will approach the decision correctly life issues and cope with difficulties easily. A person who knows his strengths uses them for their intended purpose.
- Practice . Learning to value yourself through inaction is unrealistic. The key to happiness and success is practice. I advise you to start with actions. If you begin to respect them, learn to value yourself and other people along with the world around you.
- Find your life purpose and passion . Favorite hobby will bring joy, while you will be able to treat yourself with respect, regardless of the result.
How to respect yourself and others
Only a self-respecting person becomes a happy person and enjoys life. The world imposes rules on people, which is bad for confidence.
People who don't respect themselves are treated with disrespect by those around them. Everyone knows this, but not everyone tries to change something in life. Self-respect is not difficult to learn.
- Accept yourself despite flaws in appearance and character flaws . There are no perfect people.
- Engage in self-development and strive for excellence . Read books and work on skills and habits. This will allow you to become smarter and start living a full life.
- Love yourself. In this matter, the main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise love will become selfishness, which involves the satisfaction of personal needs.
- Pamper yourself more often . Make a list of things that bring you pleasure. This could be reading books, a warm shower or shopping.
- Treat yourself more tolerantly, without making too many demands. . If an attempt to do something ends in failure, this is not a reason for self-criticism. Analyze everything and try again.
- Change your stressful job . People go to work every day, wake up early, and throughout the working day find themselves in stressful situations. Labor activity brings negative emotions. A self-respecting person will definitely change jobs and find employment that meets his needs and brings pleasure.
- Take a closer look at the people you communicate with . If communication is not to your liking, refuse it or minimize it.
- Keep your promises . If you make promises to yourself, try to keep them, especially if we're talking about about goals and desires. Each fulfilled promise increases self-esteem, which is good for building self-esteem.
- Don't compare yourself to strangers . I advise you to analyze the qualities successful person or an individual entrepreneur, principles and actions, and apply the acquired knowledge in practice.
- Don't hold on to the past . Let go and forget unpleasant situations and grievances, and forgive the people who have anything to do with it. Otherwise, you will not be able to fully enjoy the delights of life.
Before you take action, think about the reasons why you still treat yourself with disrespect.
Video instructions
It is possible that complexes and psychology are to blame, low self-esteem and lack of privacy. Do not forget, the world will begin to respect you after you do this.
What is this image of a woman who doesn’t respect herself? Is this the image of a notorious ugly woman from whom the whole world has turned away, as if from an outcast? Or a drunkard who turned herself into a creature of unknown gender?
Not always. This image is so multifaceted that even a luxurious stealer can have her dignity dropped below the plinth. Let's arrange it general cleaning yours inner world and let’s figure out where the hotbed of self-abasement is.
Deal with conscience
You can't sell yourself! No, this does not mean prostitution.
By the way, sometimes even the lowest caste of prostitutes deserves more respect than rich kept women:
Prostitutes go to the panel at great risk to themselves, but it is this hard work that gives them the opportunity to feed their family or save a loved one from illness.
But if we do not take into account the sale of the body, then many people are morally capable of selling their soul to the devil in order to achieve their own goal. And even “walking over corpses” does not frighten them.
Some women themselves don’t notice how badly they do it:
Harassment of colleagues. Everything is used: dirty gossip about colleagues, belittling their capabilities, and even with the goal of getting a soft chair for themselves.
The desire to be in the crowd of multitudes. It happens that a person stumbles, and everyone “throws stones at him,” harassing and humiliating him in every possible way. And so, instead of lending a helping hand to the poor fellow, it’s easier to be in the crowd of indignant and indifferent people. Even if this poor guy is his best friend.
The desire to beat off a man for his own benefit. Sometimes the impudence of mistresses knows no bounds. They don’t care about the suffering of their legitimate wife and children, they just need to take the rich sheep into their flock. All these passions and muzzles don’t bother them.
Exchange of conscience for money. This is all about personal enrichment, even if you have to lie good man and even perjury in court. This is something similar to the fear of being outside the crowd, only with benefit for yourself.
It seems that financial problems can be solved. But having cleared your Mailbox from numerous loan bills, you can terribly stain your conscience. And this can no longer be washed off.
Therefore, when selling yourself, think carefully:
Am I betraying myself, and will this make me happier?
Will I be able to live next to the people I offended?
What if I were in the place of that poor fellow, wife or convict?
It would seem, what does self-respect have to do with it? The fact is that all your remaining dignity will be nailed to the plinth by precisely those people from whom you turned away or whom you “overthrew.” And your conscience, which begins to gnaw at you at night, will simply mutilate your own soul.
Conscience - how toothache: won't let go until you get treatment.
All these trips to churches will not help much - you won’t be able to “talk your teeth.” If you have already screwed up a lot in your life, both in relationships with colleagues and with people in general, then you will have to ask for forgiveness from those who offended you or leave forever from the place of your disgustingness. Otherwise, forget about your merits even to yourself.
Feelings of guilt and internal complexes
All internal complexes are often on par with a huge sense of guilt. Often they are inspired by the same “righteous” crowd that teaches the “correct” life. It doesn’t matter whether this is a trend from childhood or already in mature age, but the presence of the complex is already there, so there is nothing to respect yourself for.
But in order to make you love and respect yourself, you need to find not an excuse, but a solution to this problem.
You're an ugly duckling! Scary, fat and stupid. In this case, you will need an article. It describes everything in detail about both external data and character qualities.
You drink too much! In what sense is it a lot? Do you lie next to the trash heap or like a glass of wine with dinner? If there is a problem and children are taken away, then yes, we need to get treatment. And if you are your own boss, then no one should care about your glass of wine.
You are not purposeful! But not everyone needs all this “Run, Grow, Improve.” There is a video in the article with Sherlock Holmes, he has a wise opinion on this matter. This is exactly how you respond to “well-wishers,” who are also not oligarchs or Nobel laureates.
You are a slob, your house is dirty! This is also how you look. Most women always have a light creative glove compartment. There are not so many absolute clean people. If you are not in complete bedlam, then everything is fine. Believe me, it is more difficult for a man to get along with a clean person than with one who is a little sloppy. And you can always clean up.
And so it is in everything. There is no need to polish yourself to perfection, because if you live a life that is not your own and bend for others, you yourself will stop respecting yourself. You won't recognize the reflection in the mirror.
By the way, due to the inability to achieve this ideal that others want to see in you, you will acquire even greater complexes.
People often protect themselves, trying to hide behind the sins of others - then their beam in their own eye is not so noticeable. If everything is not so catastrophic for you (your house is not dirty, you are smart enough and don’t take rubbish to the pawn shop to drink it away), then live by your wits - it’s more respectful. And drive the “righteous” away so that they don’t interfere with your ability to develop a full sense of self-esteem.
Believe in yourself
No, this is not a call to “Run, Grow, Improve.” There are real, difficult things that God forbid you have to experience. Then you will know whether you should respect yourself or not. Let's give a couple of examples.
Illness of a loved one
He is not a burden for you, but your dearest person, without whom life is impossible. He is recumbent and requires spoon feeding and diaper changes. Moreover, such rehabilitation is long and very difficult. There are two ways:
Rent it out for a long time specialized institution with thoughts, they say, in front of doctors and very well.
Take full responsibility for his care, including medical procedures and nursing services.
But you know our hospitals very well. The loved one will lie helplessly, looking at the ceiling, and no one will come to him. There is no longer a deal with your conscience, but simply your own heart will break from pity and fear for this person.
Do not think that it will be incredibly difficult; a person knows little about his capabilities. But the body is designed in such a way that all internal resources, which a person did not even know about, begin to work only in a stressful state.
And when you manage to put your loved one back on his feet without pushing him out of your life, you can be proud of yourself. It is your merit, your strength, your prayers and work that saved him. This means there is something to respect yourself for.
Test of Poverty
For example, your scoundrel husband left you, kicked you out of the apartment, and you have nowhere to go, and even with children. Here again there are two options:
You can organize a sit-in at your ex’s entrance, shake down the courts, knock on doorsteps.
You can rent a corner, even in a village, learn to carry water from a well and get a job in the most difficult way so that you can survive.
That is why coaches who “treat” people with the help of psychology lessons push their students to the most severe trials: work a day at a hospice or a week at a tent camp. If a person learns to believe in his own strength, then he will respect himself.
But you don’t need coaches if you try to educate yourself and recognize your inner resources. For this, the chapter “School of Survival” in the article will be very useful to you.
When you're in a relationship
If you never learned to respect yourself before you entered into a relationship with a man, then there will definitely be difficulties. And that's why:
Complexes will not allow you to behave appropriately. If you still consider yourself a terrible slob for whom a glass of wine is a disaster, then you risk destroying yourself. Either the man will tyrannize you, or he will believe in your “legend” and leave you.
You can become capricious and materialistic if you are not familiar with difficulties. God forbid, of course, that you go through all the tests for real, but you can create artificial ones, for example, become a volunteer or go on a difficult hike.
You risk cowardly betraying your man by “jumping ship” like a rat if the crowd suddenly condemns him. Will you be able to live after all this and proudly and with dignity look at yourself in the mirror? Hardly.
But if you are still destined to separate, even though you have learned to respect yourself, then you can say with a light heart: “It’s not my fault, but his! I did everything I could for him! And I’m proud of myself.”
It's time to learn to recognize and appreciate yourself for everything you have achieved today, throughout the year, and in life. Can you remember your successes over the past month, as well as your mistakes and failures?
Many people underestimate what they do every day. However, they can remember in detail all their mistakes and what they failed to do. This is because the brain remembers events more easily when they are accompanied by strong emotions. You can remember your graduation, entering university, how you lost 15 kg, received an award. But will you remember?
- How did you talk for a long time with your spouse,
- How did you spend quality time with your child?
- How did you complete your entire to-do list for the day?
- How well did you take a nap?
If you don't acknowledge your successes the same way you acknowledge your mistakes, you can be sure that your memory will be full of errors. How to learn to love yourself?
Recognize your success. Be proud of your successes and don't wait for someone else to praise you! If you only remember mistakes and failures, you won't be able to take the risks that will lead you to success.
Strengthen your self-esteem by remembering everything you have done well and in which you have succeeded. And your brain will strengthen the associative connections that your achievements happen again and again. Find time to write down your achievements throughout your life. Start from when you were very young and remember all your achievements since then. Write down not only the big achievements, write down everything that you take for granted.
You can also write down your progress each day in a planner, notebook, or notepad. And look into it when you encounter new problem. By writing down all your achievements every day, you store them in your memory. They will become part of what drives you towards your goals.
Surround yourself with reminders of your success. Put photos, articles, prizes, awards, anything that reminds you of your achievements and successes in a prominent place. Be proud of them! People like to be surrounded by people who have healthy self-esteem and achieve their goals. By recognizing achievements, your brain will tell you: “You can do anything!”
Where it all begins
August. Last night we looked at the starry sky... The Milky Way is mesmerizing, and it is difficult to compare the depth of Space and its own size. It seems that you are lost in this bottomlessness of the Universe.
This is how we most often live in our lives: with this feeling of our own smallness, insignificance and with the thought that “I cannot do something great and important since I am so small.” Spiritual Teachers tell us about the equivalence of Big and Small, but how difficult it is to wrap your head around it! Moreover, this childhood experience and the experience of one’s own smallness and unimportance - again about the same thing!
Therefore, the greatest resource for our development is precisely in overcoming this illusion of our insignificance and lack of influence. It is there that all the “treasures of the world” are hidden; it is in the development of our own value and importance that our path to self-realization and achieving our Dream lies.
It is important to cultivate self-worth from childhood
The importance of developing high self-esteem in a child cannot be overstated. When parents support their child, respect him and love him unconditionally (no matter what he does or doesn't do), they help him feel important, and then achieve the most amazing things in life!
But in order to be such a parent, you need to learn to value yourself. It is impossible to pass on to a child what you yourself do not have!
How often do parents, out of a desire to compensate for the feeling of their insignificance and unfulfillment, strive to make their child a “star”. But everything we do out of compensation has no basis and does not bring the results we dream of! It's like building a house without a foundation.
Therefore, let’s talk about the “foundation”, that is, about our self-esteem, about our value in this world.
First ask yourself a few questions:
- Do you know how to adequately and painlessly perceive the influence of the world around you?
- How good are you at collaborating with other people?
- Can you say no when necessary?
- Do you know how to take care of yourself? And do you do this regularly?
- Do you see yourself making a difference to other people? Do you feel the value of your life?
If you often notice your painful reaction to the attitudes and behavior of others, then this is the first sign of low self-esteem. This means that you perceive everything through the prism of childhood painful reactions and unlived feelings.
Comparisons with others
For example, your parents often (with the best intentions, of course) criticized you and compared you with others. You always felt worse than someone else and, therefore, believed that you were unworthy of love and respect. No matter how much you did and tried, it was not enough for the love and attention of your parents.
Then you might decide that there is no point in trying! Or you decided to go ahead and prove to everyone that you are worthy of respect and love!
In the second case, a person spends all his energy on proving his importance. BUT! There is constant pain inside from the knowledge that “everything is useless”!
My client, 45 years old, has achieved career success and occupies a high leadership position. She raised two wonderful children, alone.
And she has such pain inside because there is a lot in life that she herself has created, but she doesn’t have the most important thing: the feeling that you are loved and important to your partner! There are no loving, sincere and trusting relationships in her life!
There is a lot of pain from misunderstanding of loved ones! And this pain comes from childhood, when her parents demanded only the best results from her, and everything else was unimportant to them!
Most often, it is the sphere of partnerships that has to be sacrificed in order to achieve social heights in life. If your self-esteem is weak, then all your strength goes into compensating for children’s feelings of uselessness and unimportance.
And all the difficulties in interpersonal relationships then they are perceived inappropriately painfully and categorically! And in this area, more than in any other, flexibility and acceptance of the partner for who he is are important. The important position is “we are together”, not “who is right”.
What to do if you notice this in yourself? It is important for you to cultivate within yourself the feeling that everything that my partner (and all the people around me) does is out of love for me. It’s just that sometimes he doesn’t know and doesn’t know how to build relationships, he doesn’t know everything – LIKE ME.
And this is normal: learn to build relationships, learn to accept your mistakes and forgive them to others. The more we invest in our relationships, the more we begin to see the depth and variety of views on life, on people, on ourselves.
How to stop feeling weak and unvalued?
Scientists have discovered that a split second before any feeling arises within us, a thought-decision appears in our brain about whether to experience this feeling or another?
And if experience suggests that our reaction is “correct,” we begin to feel accordingly. And correctness is determined by the habit of reacting in a certain way.
And we can CHOOSE to experience certain feelings in our lives or not. This is the experience of Personality development. If you always only habitually react to circumstances, relationships and do not see the possibility of CHOICE, then there will be no development as such!
You will repeat the same scenario an endless number of times. And always get the same result. Choose to feel good, regardless of situations and other people's attitudes towards you, and your life will change dramatically for the better!
Know yourself. This will help you identify what kind of unique person you are and increase your self-esteem. Think about your talents and strengths. This process of self-discovery may take some time, but it will be time well spent.
Learn to forgive yourself if you want to increase your self-esteem. Forgive yourself for what you have done in the past. If necessary, admit your mistakes and ask other people for forgiveness. If you blame yourself for offensive words or wrong actions and decisions, then it will be difficult for you to live. Remember that all people make mistakes and learn from them, so forgive yourself and others.
Be yourself. Love and accept yourself for who you are. Don't think that you are ideal - just come to terms with who you are. Be proud of your strengths and don't be discouraged by your weaknesses, especially those you can't change.
- Are you planning to love yourself only after you lose 20 kg? This is a bad approach. Love yourself for who you are in the present moment.
Develop self-confidence. You can't respect yourself if you're not happy with who you are, what you look like, and what you do. Developing self-confidence will take a lot of effort, but daily exercise will help you with this.
- Watch your posture, smile more and think about yourself in a positive way at least three times an hour.
- Say “Thank you” to the person who complimented you.
Maintain a positive attitude. This will help you succeed in life and increase your self-esteem. Even if your life is going downhill right now, think that everything will work out in the end. Be content with what you have this moment time. If you anticipate a terrible ending to any situation, it will be difficult for you to learn to respect yourself and gain respect from other people.
- For example, when going for an interview, don't think that you will fail because there are stronger candidates. Tell yourself that you are proud of yourself for passing this interview.
Don't live someone else's life. Often the main reason for low self-esteem is negative thoughts about your life compared to other people's lives. For example, you may be unhappy with yourself because you earn less than your friends. Set goals without regard to other people and achieve them. Don't waste your time on something that will impress your Facebook friends. Do what you want, not what is fashionable or prestigious.
Don't envy anyone. Do everything you can to achieve your goals. Envy is accompanied by bitterness and resentment, and these feelings destroy your self-esteem and make you strive to be like others. Do what makes you happy.
Believe in the correctness of your decisions if you want to increase your self-esteem. Don't change your beliefs and try to understand what makes you happy. Reward yourself for doing the right thing decisions made and stick to them (even if it's very difficult).
- If you need help, ask someone else for it, but don't think that you are doing everything wrong and that you need to do it all over again.
Learn to take criticism calmly. This is the only way you will respect yourself. If the criticism is objective and constructive, be sure to listen to it. Perhaps the information received will be useful to you for self-development. Thanks to constructive criticism, you will achieve your goal - to become better.
- For example, your girlfriend may say that sometimes she needs more attention and care from you. Or your boss will recommend that you add more detail to your report.
- It happens that someone is just picking on you or trying to insult you. This approach is not constructive criticism, so learn to distinguish between constructive and unconstructive criticism (this is not so easy the first time).
Don't let others pressure you. Self-esteem comes from your inner self, not from other people. Perhaps awards or compliments will boost your self-esteem for a while, but self-esteem must come from your consciousness. Don't let other people put you down or question your beliefs. Believe in what you accept right decisions and learn to ignore bullies and envious people.
- A person who changes his decision or opinion under pressure from others will be known as weak person without strong convictions. Stand your ground and people with a negative attitude towards you or towards life will gradually leave you behind.