Is pride a manifestation of weakness or, on the contrary, is it strength? Pride is a trait necessary for a person or most likely interfering with him? It is important to decide these questions for yourself, because it is this trait that can change a lot in a person’s life.
Often in modern world people focus on proud people. Often these are not at all worthy role models, but such people often achieve so-called success. And gentleness and humility are considered a weakness of character, which has long been no longer applicable in the modern world. However world history And personal experience those who have encountered pride show that everything is exactly the opposite!
It's worth looking into, though. what is real pride and true humility.

After all, any advantage can become a disadvantage,

and some disadvantage can be turned into an advantage!

What is pride?

Pride is a feeling of self-respect, as well as satisfaction from something.
As mentioned above, pride can be appropriate and inappropriate.

Appropriate pride.

Appropriate pride has a tinge joy for some of your achievements, for the success of your children etc. It warms the heart and gives confidence in one’s abilities and encourages one to continue to do good.
For example, an honest person faces a situation that prompts him to compromise with his conscience and his beliefs, but he does not give in to it. For example, he does not steal or cheat at work, although he has the opportunity to not be punished for this. After the temptation is overcome, he feels proud of his core and that he did not show weakness.
Also, if such a person teaches children to act honestly and not to succumb to the bad influence of others, he will feel proud if his child does this, especially if the parents are not around. For example, the child did not support some incorrect behavior of the class during the lesson and at parent meeting The teacher praised, personally or in front of everyone, the parent for raising the child well. Also, the parent will be proud of his child and, in turn, will praise him, and this will encourage both to continue to do so.

Misplaced pride.

Such pride is often not justified or has only external motives for pride.

For example, it is not appropriate to be proud of achieving some of your goals, say studying or working in a prestigious position that you managed to get only thanks to connections or money. Also, talents and abilities can often cause a feeling of pride, although talent and skills are acquired.
So, if a parent praises a child only for his abilities, then this cultivates inappropriate pride in the child. When such children are faced with reality, they do not understand why they are not admired by everyone, everywhere. It is also difficult for such people to start making efforts. To master new area labor activity and achieve success in something else.
Talents and abilities are good. It's nice when something works out without much effort. But those areas where a person has achieved success through effort and persistent work are worthy of real, appropriate pride and adequate self-respect.

The price of pride.

You have to pay for everything, and pride also has its price.

If a person does not work on himself to overcome pride, then there will be consequences. Unfortunately, many people realize this too late and have to pay a high price for their carelessness. What is the price of pride?
In family.
Pride has no place in a loving family. Pride in the family manifests itself in the unwillingness to give in and take into account the opinion of others. Also, a proud spouse can generally make decisions without even informing his companion. The pride of one spouse encourages them to think only about their own needs, for example, physical, emotional or sexual.
Children who have adopted the proud behavior of their parents then behave the same way in their families and are often not grateful to their parents.
Thus the price of pride is quite high for those who wanted to have strong family in the full sense of the word. Such families are not happy for real and this is visible to the naked eye.
In society.
Pride is often the cause of even world clashes and conflicts. Reluctance to help, give in and appreciate Natural resources stir up wars, which only worsen the situation.
However, even on a mini-scale there is a different price list of pride. For example, a proud person may not have real friends. Pride can generally prevent a person from calmly communicating with others.
At work, it is difficult for a proud person to listen to the leadership of his boss and therefore interpersonal conflicts inevitable.
Health.
Pride makes a person irritable, constantly dissatisfied with something, and this negatively affects his physical health. Nervous system becomes loose and very sensitive to the slightest irritants.
The digestive system can malfunction under stress.
The endocrine glands (thyroid, pancreas, adrenal glands) suffer from stress and this aggravates their already difficult work.
Suffering from stress and frequent conflicts cardiovascular system. Often such people become hypertensive.
Agree, how high the price of pride is! Therefore, it is worth thinking about whether there is inappropriate pride in your character and how to overcome pride? But it is possible to overcome pride!!!

How to overcome pride?

Overcome selfishness.

Selfishness and pride often go hand in hand. A person who does not respect the opinions of others is too focused on himself. Of course, you need to respect and love yourself, but in moderation.
Motivator against selfishness.
Is an egoist emotionally mature or not? want to be more mature? Fight with pride!!!
Think about your emotional development. Often people who are emotionally mature are less focused on themselves and are more willing to give to others.

Therefore, set yourself the goal of giving more than expecting and receiving from others.

Is an egoist a welcome friend and guest or not?
Think about how an egoist looks from the outside, how people usually don’t like to deal with egoists, and how difficult it is for them to give something even to those closest to them.
Remember examples of how a selfish person got burned when he lost good friends because of his character.

Respect others.

Pride is the opposite of respect for others. A proud person wants to be respected, but he himself does not show much attention and respect.
Think:
can other people have a different point of view from yours?
Can other people not like what you like and like what you don't like?
Can others make decisions based solely on their heads, or should they be led by you?
Of course, parents and educators have power over children, but this means something else.
For example, in a family, husband and wife may have different preferences, let's say on vacation. The husband just wants to sit in front of the newspaper or TV, and the wife wants to take a walk and even chat with someone and go on a visit. Does this mean that one of them is more right? Of course not! It's just different points of view and different needs who have the right to be. Therefore, there is no place for pride here. Both husband and wife can give in certain cases and compromise to please your life partner. The husband may one day give in and go visit his wife, and the wife may one day simply sit at home and give her husband an emotional break from communicating with others. In any case, if each spouse sees that the other is trying and does not just want to dominate, then it will be easier to give in.
Also with friends. If your friend doesn't share your music, emotional needs 100%, then this does not mean that he is wrong and you are right. You are just different, but this is not an obstacle to friendship, but rather diversifies it.
Of course, it’s worth remembering about bad campaigns, which you don’t need to adapt to and turn a blind eye to the obvious bad consequences of communicating with them. There is no need to give in to a bad cause. This is where you need to show respect for yourself and refuse to do something immoral, immoral.

Ask for forgiveness.

Pride prevents you from saying: “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”

Therefore, you need to purposefully work on this expression in your speech. If you were reprimanded and your mistake was pointed out, then do not be afraid to say words of apology and regret. It is worth mentioning your motives, the non-intentionality of your actions, which will contribute to the speedy forgiveness of you.

Try at the end of the day to analyze your behavior, speech and identify manifestations of pride and understand who and how you offended.

Gather all your willpower and ask for forgiveness, even if only briefly. For example, you can write an SMS and even a note on the table for your wife.

This will be a real victory! This simple exercise will definitely help you overcome pride over time!
Another way: ask for forgiveness right away. This will help the offended person to quickly forgive you and not worry about you. If you understand. If you offended someone with your pride, then immediately say that you regret your words or actions and sincerely ask them to forgive you. Most likely, the person will appreciate these words and you will be friends again.

Praise people.

A person's pride prevents him from thinking. that others also have successes worthy of praise. Therefore, the praise of others is the antidote to pride.
For example, you see that your subordinate is doing his job very diligently, then just come up and say that he is “Well done!” If you see that your friend has received a promotion or has some joy in life, then praise him for his determination and victory!
If a wife has prepared a delicious lunch or dinner, her husband can praise her for her culinary efforts. And if the husband is good at something and succeeds at something, then the wife will not forget to praise him.

Learn to wait.

Patience and the ability to wait help overcome pride. Pride encourages him to consider his plans more important than everyone and everything and does not like to wait for anyone. Of course, it’s unpleasant to wait, but anything can happen to a person and the reasons for the delay can be very valid.
Therefore, if you see that someone is delayed, then occupy yourself with some kind of activity at this time. useful thing. Don’t leave immediately as soon as the hands are exactly at your agreed time (perhaps someone else’s watch is simply slow).

Communicate with different people.

Pride limits his social circle and such a person communicates only with people who are convenient for him, that is, who are never late, who are never confused with their thoughts and who have a certain education.
Therefore, if you see a person in front of you who does not have such brilliant abilities as you, then do not ignore communication with him. This person will help you develop patience, humility and self-control. He will be your trainer for these qualities.
Let the other person finish the thought.
Don't interrupt.
Don't take the initiative in the conversation.
Praise him for any knowledge he has about something.
Avoid a tired expression or tone of voice.
Tell them you'll continue the conversation next time and that it was a pleasure talking to you.

Listen for real

Ask for help.

Pride prevents you from asking someone for help. Proud people, even if they cannot cope with the problem, then simply try to keep silent about their failure, but do not ask anyone or anything. Therefore, be determined that if you really need someone’s help, then you will ask for it. You may not need anything specific, but simply a word of support and understanding.
For example, a husband may tell his wife that he is worried about family budget or for raising teenage children who are becoming increasingly difficult to raise correctly. The wife will definitely assure her husband of her support and this will strengthen the family.
A wife can tell her husband about her needs directly and tactfully, rather than waiting for him to figure it out himself. A husband cannot read his wife's thoughts, no matter how well he knows her or how long they have been in the tank. Therefore, a wife can say specifically what she needs her husband’s help with, and as many examples have proven, the husband readily responds when the request is formulated simply and tactfully.

Find real friends.

Your social circle greatly influences your character, even if your character is not weak.
It is important to remember the example with cucumbers. No matter which side the cucumber is in the jar, it will still become salty. It’s the same with communication - it still has an impact, it’s just a matter of time.
Therefore, if there are people around you for whom pride is acceptable, then this will affect you and it will be very difficult to overcome pride. Therefore, finding true friends is a worthwhile goal. These friends will help you be more gentle and approachable and happier. Such friends will love and value you not for your money, but for your qualities. Such friends will not leave you when you are in trouble, as many proud people will do.
So, you are already less proud if you read this article. At a minimum, you have already thought about this quality itself and decided to think and start acting. Therefore, you are definitely great and you will be able to overcome your pride!!! Good luck!!!

Read useful articles below.

Saint Ignatius Brianchaninov This vice includes a whole complex of actions, thoughts and experiences, from contempt for one’s neighbor to heresy.

Perhaps, pride can be briefly described by paraphrasing the words of an ancient philosopher: “I am the measure of all things.” The danger of pride is not even that I consider myself the best. The fact is that I see events, other people, even God Himself only with my own eyes - and I believe that my vision is one hundred percent.

And my vision is at least no better than everyone else's. And, by the way, the worst thing I can see is myself. Your own head seems to be the center of the universe - but this is only my universe, limited and small...

The best advice for dealing with sin can be given by God Himself. as a “healing against pride,” he suggests more often re-reading “the passages of Scripture directed against it”:

“When you have done all that was commanded you, say: We are worthless servants, because we have done what we had to do” (Luke 17:10).

“Whoever thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, deceives himself” (Gal. 6:3).

“Whatever is high among men is an abomination to God” (Luke 16:15).

“Learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29).

“He remembered us in our humiliation, for His mercy endures forever; and delivered us from our enemies, for His mercy endures forever” (Ps. 135:23-24).

“The Lord is gracious and just, and our God is merciful” (Ps. 115:5).

“Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord” (Prov. 16:5).

To the verses recommended by St. Ephraim the Syrian, one can add the well-known: “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6), “in the mouth of a fool is the scourge of pride; but the lips of the wise guard them” (Prov. 14:3), “everything that is in the world: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, is not from the Father, but is of this world” (1 John 2:16) and others quotes.

2. “It’s not me.”

Strictly speaking, we have nothing to be proud of. once again reminds us of the parable of the servant fulfilling his duties:

“As soon as possible, consign your merits and works to oblivion. Shame on you if a bee and an ant surpass you in this. The fruit of pride in one’s merits is anger, quarrels and enmity between people, and behind them is an inevitable feeling of uselessness and despair. Have you ever seen a bee and an ant in despair? Indeed, it would be a shame if they better than people fulfill the commandment of Christ: When you have done everything commanded you, say: we are worthless servants, because we did what we had to do (Luke 17:10).”

Venerable John Cassian the Roman also recommends attributing the success of your work to God and explains:

“I do not say this so that, by disparaging human efforts, I would like to discourage anyone from caring and intense work. On the contrary, I resolutely affirm that perfection cannot in any way be achieved without them, and by them alone, without the grace of God, it cannot be brought to the proper degree by anyone. … The grace of God is communicated only to those who work by the sweat of their brow.”

3. Mathematical method of dealing with pride

“But I do a lot of good, right and kind things!” - the proud man will defend himself. And he will be wrong. “A lot” – how much? What if we compare it with the number of sins?

This is what he advises to do:

“When a reckless thought comes into your head - to count any of your good deeds, immediately correct yourself for this mistake and quickly count your sins, your continuous, countless insults to the all-good and righteous Master, and you will find that you have them like the sand of the sea, and Compared to them, there are no virtues.”

4. Humiliation or humility?

An even more common debate than the debate about the nature of pride is where is the line between humility and humiliation? Is it true that a Christian should only have a “feeling of his own unworthiness”?

No it is not true. And the line is very simple: a person is humiliated against his will, but he himself is humbled. Humility is an active state. Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh says about him:

“When we seek humility, we can ask ourselves the question: how do we feel about the fact that the Lord sends us to this or that situation? With inner peace or with protest, with legibility? “I don’t want this, I want something else - why did you send me here? I want good, You should have sent me to an environment where everyone around me is kind and will inspire me, help me, carry me in their arms; Why are You sending me to an environment where everything is darkness, where everything is bad, where everything is disharmony?”

This is our usual reaction, and it is one of the indicators that our reaction is not humble. And when I say “humble,” I’m not talking about feeling or recognizing oneself as if defeated: “What will I do against the will of God - I will humble myself.” No, not defeat, but active humility, active reconciliation, active inner world make us messengers, apostles, people who are sent into a dark, bitter, difficult world, and who know that there is their natural place or a blessed place.”

“It is most useful for people of a proud disposition to be obedient, to lead a life that is the most rude and despicable... Nothing humbles the soul more than being in poverty and subsisting on alms.”

It is clear that treating pride on your own with poverty or obedience - and living in a poor family or in humiliating slavery - are two different things. In the second case, humility can also be useful (or harmful, depending on how you look at it), but this has nothing to do with the eradication of pride.

5. Punishment for sin

Who can hardly be accused of exaltation and drunkenness, gives completely radical advice - to punish yourself for pride, including physically. Actually, initially this is advice against anger:

“Find a rope - a thick one - and go to your sister. Having bowed to her, say: good sister, do me a service, with this rope give me a good blow. You can prescribe a measure - five, ten blows, as long as it is sensitive. Do this after every angry outburst. This technique is also good against pride.”

After all, we do not live in a monastery in the 19th century, but in the world a century and a half later. If we invite our neighbor to flog us for displays of pride, at best this will cause him bewilderment. But it doesn’t hurt to punish yourself independently and without self-harm.

I fulfilled the boss’s instructions and turned my nose up - refuse the football match. She looked down at her sloppily dressed colleague: “It’s my impeccable taste!” - no dessert...

6. Don't be shy to cry

The Fathers of the Church often talk about the benefits of tears, and modern man this causes misunderstanding. What is the use of sentimental sobs - even repentant ones?

Saints are not sentimental. They know how to harshly denounce sin, and their sermons are often menacing. Tears are not needed for touching experiences or for lamenting one’s hard life and injustice. Tears are an admission of one's imperfection.

He likened pride to a plant growing on parched ground. A contrite heart lifts up the damp (moistened with tears) layers of the earth so that the soul can bear new fruit. Crying compassion and repentance is the key to healing dry and callous pride.

“To create a heavenly pyramid, tears of furious anger and tears of regret for lost or not received earthly wealth are not needed,” explains the saint. – Gospel tears are those that flow from a contrite and repentant heart. Gospel tears are those tears that grieve for paradise lost. Gospel tears are those tears that mix with the tears of children and sufferers. Gospel tears are those tears that wash away the harm that we have caused to heavenly Love.”

7. The Only Healer

Let's go back to the beginning. Our vision is weak, we incorrectly evaluate ourselves and others, therefore, completely trusting ourselves is pride, a grave sin.

Our contemporary Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov) compares the proud man to the man born blind from the Gospel - having received healing from the Savior, he was healed spiritually and believed in Him. On the contrary, people who did not want to accept the grace of Christ, the Pharisees, accused Him of performing miracles by demonic power. This is a manifestation of not simple, but satanic pride.

“He who is blind in soul through pride and stubbornness is the most unfortunate person, the prey of hell, the fiend of Satan, imbued with the pride and malice of his father the devil. This is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, when a person, out of pride and stubbornness, does not want to believe the obvious truth, proven by obvious miracles. There is no forgiveness for such a person, neither in this nor in the next century,” emphasizes Father Kirill.

Indeed, the conscious rejection of Christ - God - is the result of pride, its actual goal. So the most reliable remedy in the fight against this illness is to look to the One who can heal it. “In everything we need to strive to imitate how the Lord acted, as the Gospel teaches us.”

A person is an emotional person who has developed his own life rules. He has a huge energy reserve, through his feelings he expresses his own attitude towards others and the world, but what energy this person’s thoughts are endowed with, and what kind of emotions he shows when communicating with other people, depends solely on him and his desires. Let’s try to find out further what pride is and why it is a sin for people.

Pride - what is it?

Pride - a feeling of complete superiority own personality over others. It is an inadequate assessment of personal importance. The manifestation of pride very often leads to stupid mistakes, because of which others suffer. This sin manifests itself in arrogance, not showing respect for other people, their lives and experiences. In people with heightened senses pride, increased desire to brag about one's achievements. They consider their success only to be their merit, not taking into account the help of others and higher powers in ordinary life situations, do not recognize the help and support of others.

In Latin, “pride” is translated as “superbia.” It is a sin because every quality of a person is laid down by the Creator. And considering yourself the source of all your achievements in life and that everything around you is the result of personal labor is fundamentally wrong. Criticism of the actions and speech of other people, accusations of incompetence, rude ridicule - greatly amuses people with pride and brings them untold pleasure.

Very often a person does not even realize that he is submitting to pride and thinks this is some other quality of his character . But then it gets worse– as a result, a person is completely immersed in this sin. How can you discern it in yourself and other people in order to stop in time and protect yourself from sin? To do this, you need to familiarize yourself with and learn to distinguish the following signs of sin:

It is these signs that are often confused with pride itself., sometimes accept these signs as virtues, but only when they take first place in a person’s character and begin to guide him. After this, the person is unable to control himself, and this inevitably leads to harm to himself and the people around him.

Eat different types this sin. This may be an age-related type of pride. When adults treat little ones with disdain, because they are still very stupid and naive due to their age. Or, on the contrary, young people believe that older people do not understand anything about modern trends and their views on life are outdated.

There is pride of knowledge. When a person considers himself the smartest, and everyone around him is a fool.

Pride of beauty. This sin mainly affects women who consider themselves the most beautiful, and other women unworthy of compliments and love.

National pride. People believe that their nation is superior to others, and some nations do not even have the right to exist. An example of this sin can be seen in the Germans' views on Jewish nation During the Second World War? Why is this not an indicator of the full manifestation of pride and not the result of the complete mastery of sin by some Germans.

There are a sufficient number of types of pride, each type manifests itself in one or another area of ​​human life and activity.

The results of this sin

Pride mainly acts as a source of bad thoughts and emotions, which negatively affect the state and behavior of people, in other words, prevent them from living a “correct” life, since an inflated sense of the importance of one’s “I” becomes the starting point of aggression towards other people. Other ideas about the world give rise to inside there is a flash of the following emotions: anger, resentment, hatred, contempt, envy and pity. They primarily lead to absolute destruction mental health man, respectively, and his consciousness.

Pride and psychology

This sin often becomes a sign of incorrect upbringing. IN early age Parents often tell their child that he is better than others. However, the baby should receive praise and support, but only for a specific, real reason. False praise will create inflated self-esteem, which will invariably lead to pride. Such children, when they grow up, will not be able to realistically evaluate their own shortcomings. An example of this is that they do not know from childhood about criticism directed at them, and they will not be able to perceive it as adults.

As a rule, such sin brings discord in communication- after all, maintaining a friendly relationship with a proud person is a dubious pleasure. No one wants to feel humiliated from the very beginning, listen to long monologues about someone’s perfection and rightness, the lack of steps towards compromise will not lead to anything good. A proud person never recognizes the talents and abilities of another.

Pride in Orthodoxy

This is the main sin in Orthodoxy, since it is precisely this that is the source of other human vices: greed, anger. The salvation of a person's soul is based on the concept- The Lord is above all. Then you need to love your neighbor, sacrificing your interests and desires. But pride does not accept debt to another person; it does not have a feeling of pity. A virtue that eradicates pride and humility.

Current society imposes the opinion that a woman can easily do without a male representative. Pride in women does not recognize a family in which the man is in charge and his opinion is the main one. Women in similar relationships They do not recognize that their husband is right, they constantly show their independence as proof, and try to subjugate the man to themselves. For such women, it is important to be a leader and a winner without deviating from your principles. It is not possible for such a woman to make sacrifices for her own family. Draws similar pictures for us modern society .

Total control, the habit of “dripping on the brain” and female irritability are poisonous family life. Every quarrel ends only after the man admits his own wrong and the woman’s ego wins. A man's compulsion to praise a woman over every little thing lowers his self-esteem, which is why love dies. And the man wants to break off all relationships.

Get rid of this sin

When a person realizes what sin he carries within himself, and there is a desire to get rid of it, then the question immediately arises: how to get rid of it? This is not to say that this is very easy to do. After all, in order to get rid of a bad quality of character, you need to go through a long and difficult path, realize the sources of sin, and the most important thing is to make every effort to get rid of it, since the struggle will be with yourself.

Liberation from this sin - the path to knowledge of oneself and God, each subsequent step must be deliberate and confident. To do this you need to remember these rules:

1. be in love the world as he is;
2. learn to perceive any situation that occurs in life without offense and indignation, each time to show gratitude to God for what he has sent, because all circumstances are something new and useful;
3. be able to see positive sides in any position, although they are not always noticeable at first glance, since awareness often comes after some time.

We fight pride

There are such situations when a person himself can no longer do anything with himself to overcome pride. In such a situation, you should ask for help from your “senior comrades”, listen to their wise instructions and be able not to refuse them. This will help you take the true path, the path of resistance, and will also give you the opportunity to step further on the path of self-knowledge.

Most effective method when fighting sin - service to family, society, the world and God. By giving oneself to others, a person changes because environment becomes different - cleaner, brighter and more righteous. It’s not for nothing that the sages say: “Change yourself, everything around you will change.”

We often lack knowledge about how to build harmonious relationships with people around us - be it friends, children, husband/wife or, for example, our parents. As a result, many problems arise in relationships - these include slight misunderstandings, tension, or even aggression, which many cannot overcome. And, it would seem, as soon as people receive the necessary knowledge, the atmosphere in the relationship should begin to improve and improve. But, unfortunately, relationships in such cases, instead of improving, often begin to deteriorate at an even greater rate, and the reason for this is pride. How to prevent mistakes along the way, or at least reduce their number, what are the signs of pride and how to overcome pride?

When do people most often begin to strive for knowledge? When do they want to learn the meaning of life and the secrets of the universe, when do they want to get to the bottom of the truth, progress spiritually and bring love into this world? Or maybe when discord begins to appear in a relationship, for example, between a husband and wife, and with the words “You know, dear/dear, our love is melting,” they pick up books and go to seminars on psychology? No, such a culture in relationships is simply nonsense for our time. As a rule, everything is much more banal and simpler - life has simply become so difficult and unbearable for you with loved ones who are so tired of you that you don’t know how to continue living. And sometimes problems not only with the husband/wife, but also with parents, colleagues and friends.

Of course, most often problems arise in your personal life - in the family, your husband/wife does not understand you, you terrorize each other, trying to somehow influence your loved one to correct his behavior in better side, began to love and respect you, and finally began to fulfill his male/female responsibilities. And, as a rule, one person decides to go to some psychological seminar on improving relationships. You listen to a lecture and... you begin to see how you were wrong, that you behaved incorrectly, that now you yourself will begin to follow all the wise advice that you have learned about, and you will not touch your loved ones.

If, more often than not, people, having received knowledge, begin to evaluate and judge their husband/wife, parents, friends, neighbors, that is, anyone, but not themselves - these are signs of pride. Pride takes hold of people in such a way that they are already in anticipation of coming home and telling the whole truth about how someone lives wrong and how they should live. What they said about you, and about you, in general, if there’s anything bad, it’s definitely about everyone around you, and if there’s anything good, it’s about yourself. Many of us have a mind that works in such a way that if anyone is to blame, it’s not ourselves., and even if they are guilty, then not so much compared to those around them. Well, we know how to justify ourselves, pride prevents us from looking inside ourselves, but to overcome pridenecessary .

“For their disasters, people tend to blame fate, the gods, and anything else, but not themselves.” Plato

We have now become proud and important, we are beginning to consider ourselves better than others, but before we didn’t really know how to live correctly, sometimes we were not confident in our words, but now he said about it, he understands this issue. What are the signs of pride - such people begin to tell their loved ones, “You should listen to his speeches and read his books,” that is, they try to blame everything on other people. And this happens all the time. For example, a husband and wife have relationship problems and accumulated grievances. If you approach either party and say, “Take and listen to the lectures, they can help your relationship,” then most likely, each of them will say that it is the other who needs to listen to this lecture, but not himself.

When we receive knowledge, and instead of applying it in our personal lives, we begin to dictate to others how they should live - then this is sure sign pride, and such knowledge only further aggravates the relationship. Sincerely believing that everyone should listen to our advice, we begin not only to restore, but to destroy, and not only the relationships themselves, but also to undermine faith in those sources and those people from whom the knowledge was received. A person thinks that he has fulfilled his mission - he has received knowledge, now it must be passed on so that everyone around him begins to follow it, but maybe God is hinting that since you have received it, then you should follow it? How to overcome pride - it is necessary to recognize the fact that not only those around you or your loved one are to blame for everything, but also you yourself.

“If there is no work on ourselves, we start working on others” Vyacheslav Ruzov

When I listened to lectures on psychology, I myself began to be proud of my knowledge, sometimes looking down on those around me, considering myself smarter than other people, often condemning the behavior of all those people who did wrong. Much has changed when, while listening to Oleg Torsunov’s seminar, I heard the following words: “If you, while listening to me, did not look inside yourself, and instead of thinking about your shortcomings, you only remembered who from your environment behaves incorrectly, and that when you meet If you tell them the whole truth about how to live correctly, it would be better if you didn’t come here - such an attitude will not bring anything good.” At that moment it struck me and I looked back, trying to remember what good I brought into my life and the lives of other people by starting to study psychology - nothing except strengthening my own selfish position, my pride and hostility towards others.

From that time on, I tried to switch from seeing the shortcomings of others to correcting shortcomings in myself, although I often did not have the strength to remain silent and not make a remark to the people around me. Knowledge is power, knowledge is a tool that one must be able to use. One of the most obvious examples of the misuse of knowledge is. When we gain knowledge and at that moment it appears in our head: “It’s Marya Ivanovna who is doing the wrong thing, and this is Fyodor Stepanovich,” then nothing good will come of it. By gaining knowledge, we must become more strict with ourselves, and more lenient with others - this way we can overcome pride.

“Whoever moves forward in knowledge, but lags behind in morality, goes backward rather than forward.” Aristotle

In fact, almost every one of us goes through the stage of fanaticism. Why? - because each of us wants happiness first of all for ourselves, and not for those around us, including by receiving knowledge, we want to fill our own lives with happiness. In the depths of the heart, everyone considers himself good, without giving of great importance their sins, at the same time, thinking that it is the sins of those around them that are much more problematic. The period of fanaticism (from hatred to love) can be compared with our growing up - in childhood we were unreasonable, but then many became older and wiser, but some, unfortunately, remain in their development at the level of a child. To some extent, fanaticism even helps strengthen our faith, since when we are fired up by some kind of knowledge, we begin to delve deeper into this knowledge.

I used to be an idealist - you have to do this and that in life. You can, of course, write now that it’s bad to be a fanatic, you have to try, taking something on faith, rejecting something, soberly comparing the facts - this is all correct, I’m not arguing, but this is a theory. The reality is that the stage of fanaticism and hostility towards others will affect almost everyone, the only question is how long a person will stay at this stage. Yes, this is just a stage of life that we must try to live as correctly as possible. At this time, it is necessary to try to monitor your state, your feelings, your attitude to what is happening, whether pride has taken over us, whether we, our environment and our relationships as a whole are changing for the better.

We must gradually become more attentive to ourselves - our thoughts and actions, watching for signs of pride and fanaticism:

• Yes, I lost my temper and called my family damned meat-eaters.
• Yes, I couldn’t restrain myself and began to prove to my atheist friends that God exists.
• Yes, I was wrong that I could not be humble about the wrong behavior of my husband/wife and inserted inappropriate words, etc.

But this should not act as some kind of justification - no, the point is that we get rid of our own sins when we see them manifested in own life , V own actions. To overcome pride or any other sin, it is enough to simply notice its manifestation from time to time. And then, at least mentally, it is necessary to ask for forgiveness and repent for the fact that we behaved incorrectly, thus gradually becoming humble and more forgiving. Our value system during the period of fanaticism can be very fragile and shaky, so we are trying to prove our philosophy to everyone, we are trying to find support from the people around us.

“The first condition for correction is awareness of one’s guilt” Seneca

First of all, as Seneca said, we must recognize within ourselves the fact that we are doing wrong, thus stepping over our ego. The following signs of pride can be identified:

• You cannot allow your interlocutor to remain with a point of view that is different from yours. This thought is unpleasant for you, after such a conversation you can think all day that your interlocutor is wrong - how could he say that, how can he think that. You think that you are always right, “I know everything,” trying to have the last word in every situation.
• You cannot tolerate the wrong behavior of people around you. You criticize them when they make mistakes, you look down on everyone who defers to you, you display an arrogant attitude towards people and an inability to come to compromise solutions.
• You cannot accept even a little criticism. This immediately throws you off balance, you become filled with anger, trying to prove the opposite.
• You constantly boast about how smart and reasonable you are, use clever words that no one understands in your speech, the phrases “I am everything to them, and they ...” flash in your head and melt from the praise addressed to you, although you even think that you are better than you are being told.
• You throw in your unsolicited advice where and when you are not asked at all, which only makes things worse for those around you.

To overcome pride, stop believing that you know better what others need, try to listen to the needs of the people around you. If your advice doesn't make people feel better, then maybe you should stop for a minute and think about why your relationships continue to deteriorate, instead of considering the people around you to be fools who do not want to listen to you and act on your wise advice. Pride clouds our minds, and instead of helping others, we actually have a desire inside us to judge, that is, we begin to consider ourselves better and superior to others. But the purity of a person lies not in how many people he tried to put on the right path, but in the fact how much he was able to do.

“Any fool can notice bad qualities; you don’t need a brain to do that. After all, we know that in someone else’s eye a person sees a speck. Noticing other people's bad qualities is no problem, we have a very clearly functioning mind and intelligence in order to notice other people's qualities. But that’s not what the culture of mindfulness is about! The culture of mindfulness is about learning to see and appreciate the wonderful qualities in other people - when another person shows the qualities of the soul, when another person serves.” Bhakti Vijnana Goswami Maharaj

It is necessary to learn to respect other people's value systems and their needs. Love is when you are understood and accepted, isn’t it, but when they try to change us, and even by force, then who will like this, you? No, there is no need to impose advice, there is no need to insult other people, there is no need to oppose the knowledge you have received to them, even if it is the ultimate truth, especially when you are not asked for it - these are all signs of pride, you should not consider yourself the most smart and others foolish.

If you push philosophy, you yourself will listen to it, answer yourself, you don’t think that a person is like a robot with a bunch of toggle switches - turn on patience, forgiveness, compassion and listen to me. No, put yourself in the shoes of another person, and you will immediately understand why the people around you do not behave the way you want them to. We must admit that we have an egoistic attitude that the reason why we want to stuff our loved ones with knowledge is, as a rule, our desire to help ourselves, not others.

“If there is any secret to success, it lies in the ability to take another person’s point of view and see things from their point of view as well as from your own.” Henry Ford

If you want to sincerely help a person, then at least try to listen carefully loved one, understanding his needs and requirements, instead of reading morality again and again. If your loved ones don’t accept the knowledge you’re telling them about, well, don’t tell them, but how you want to push philosophy. If these are your friends, then let them remain friends in other areas, accept that they have a different worldview. Pride pushes us to place and show ourselves superior to others in certain areas. life issues, but we need to come down from heaven to earth and understand that in fact we are not rising at this time, but are falling lower and lower.

I have atheist friends who are better in their behavior than many believers, and, by the way, we get along fine. I myself eat meat, because my close relatives are not ready to accept any kind of vegetarianism, so why should I argue with them? I myself am a supporter of registered marriages, I do not drink or smoke, but this does not mean that I should not love all those who live differently. To overcome pride, it is necessary to throw out of your head the principle “Whoever is not with us is against us”, there is no need to get hung up on some principles in life, putting them above human relationships.

“One should strive for knowledge not for the sake of controversy, not for the sake of contempt for others, not for the sake of profit, fame, power or other goals, but in order to be useful in life.” Francis Bacon

“You can give another reasonable advice, but you cannot teach him reasonable behavior.” Francois de La Rochefoucauld

You can tell a person about some knowledge if he listens to you, but you should not be attached to him hearing you l. And most likely, a person will not immediately accept knowledge if it differs from his worldview - and this is normal. Now, if a person were immediately fired up by some kind of knowledge, then such a person would most likely be very gullible, and such people often linger for a long time at the stage of fanaticism. If a person did not immediately begin to follow what you said, this does not mean that he did not hear you, perhaps time will pass, and he will gradually begin to live in accordance with the knowledge that you told him about, especially if he encounters the problems that you told him about.

Parable “What is within me is also outside”

There lived a man. He was famous for his calmness, goodwill and wisdom. Any business he took on, he did great. Everyone respected him and often came for advice. One day a neighbor came to him and envied him for everything. He was majestic and proud.

- I have everything in my life! - the neighbor said to the respected man. - I live in complete prosperity. But you are respected more in the city than me. Who do you think I look like?

The wise man smiled and said:

-You look like God.

the neighbor smiled contentedly. But he wanted to do something nasty to his friend, so he shouted:

- But you look like a pile of manure! I don’t understand why the whole city is dragging its feet to you!

Didn't respond to this a wise man, just smiled slightly. This angered the neighbor even more. But he continued:

- Why aren’t you offended by my words, because you called me God, and I called you dung.

- What is there to be offended about here? - answered the wise man. “Whoever recognizes God in himself sees Him in other people. And the one who is full of dung sees only dung around.

People often become arrogant, looking down on others when they acquire knowledge - these are the most obvious signs of pride . But then they may still see wrong behavior in themselves, and this time pride may again take possession of them - we see this in ourselves, but others do not. In my life, karmic reactions sometimes come very quickly, especially when it comes to pride. I think you’ve often heard that what we criticize is what we attract into our lives, the Universe seems to be telling us: since you’re so smart, let’s see how you behave in the situation for which you judged others. And as soon as I write, for example, an article about how to live, I can immediately find myself in the described situation, where fate begins to test me.

On the one hand, this is very good, unless, of course, you are ready to correct yourself and admit your mistakes. Some might think that I'm just starting to be more attentive and focused on the aspect of life that I'm talking about - I don't mind that opinion. Or sometimes in the comments I begin to receive far from flattering reviews, when, as in the article, very correct things can be written, and all because the author’s mood may be completely different. I noticed that when a person only talks or writes about how one shouldn’t live, that doing this and that is wrong, then most often such a person is very proud. Such a person will argue, proving that he is right, and it does not matter to him how many people his words will help, the main thing is to show himself how smart he is, or to promote his services, or in this way trying to shift the pursuit of knowledge to others. To overcome pride, you need to learn to notice and recognize such behavior in yourself.

In such words one can often hear only protest, and not love and compassion. I myself experienced this to some extent. We often try to shift the burden of knowledge onto other people's shoulders.- someone clearly and rudely through criticism, scolding and impositions in a direct conversation . And some subtly, and sometimes even imperceptibly, through some articles, as I sometimes did. And even now, when I write these lines, notes of pride slip into my mind, that I’m such a great guy - I saw such manifestations of character in myself. Pride is a quality that can take over us at any moment., which can become a part of us, whether we are young (I am so young, and I know so much) or old (I have lived so much, no one advises me, especially young people). And even more so if we begin to noticeably succeed in any area, beginning to have more extensive and deeper knowledge than others.

“The greatness of a great man is revealed in the way he treats little people.” Thomas Carlyle

When we become proud, we become closed to knowledge., just as water will flow out of a full vessel new water no matter how much you pour into it. The hardest thing is to teach great people; they are not able to accept that they are wrong. In me, for example, when I began to absorb knowledge, I developed a very critical and picky attitude towards everything around me. I remember how I read one book and threw mud at the author on every page, and, having read it completely, I took practically nothing for myself, except for an even greater increase in my importance - signs of pride on my face.

When I read this book again, after several months, I perceived it completely differently - I found a lot in it useful information, and no negative reviews were created in my mind at all. This is a very good criterion by which we can determine whether we are proud - when we do not try to understand the essence and look into the depths, when we try to find not similarities, but differences, when we lose meaning behind the letters, when we find fault with little things, when we are trying to grab onto a thin thread, a thread with which we do not agree or which is not pleasant to us.

“The higher a person considers himself, the easier it is for him to hold a grudge against people. The more humble a person is, the kinder and less angry he is.” Lev Tolstoy

It is necessary to cultivate love in your heart, a compassionate attitude towards people, and not just engage in self-improvement. Many on this path don't care the main objective selfish - simply improve your character, and people begin to invest strength only in themselves, as a result of which many are overwhelmed by pride and vanity, as well as a disdainful attitude towards others. You can be patient and emotionally restrained, you can be non-envious and non-greedy, and at the same time not loving. The process of self-improvement should be filled with love, we may be far from perfect, but right now we can start giving people love. Don't focus on yourself, The best way fighting your negative character traits is serving people, give love to others, and you will be able to overcome pride in yourself and gain the upper hand over your selfishness.

P.S. I do not hide the fact that I myself am young, and I still have to learn and learn, that I have made and continue to make many mistakes at times, but which of us is perfect. I try to be grateful for what fate sends into my life. My first reaction is sometimes far from humble, but then I try to think about what this situation shows, and if, for example, I was criticized, even sometimes far from constructively and rudely, then it often turned out to be on point, and for this I am thankful. You just need to be attentive to life - when our mind is calm, we are able to react correctly to the events happening around us, we are able to notice in them what God wants to convey to us, when we are calm, the right thoughts come to our mind. Contrast pride with humility, and instead of a pretentious mood, develop a grateful mood.

Every person faces pride in life. It’s just that some people have a predisposition to its growth. She can not only spoil human life, but also turn it into hell. This is a flaw that is worth fighting.

How to get rid of pride and arrogance will be discussed in the article.

Pride - what is it?

If we talk about this feeling in simple words, that is strong love to yourself. Moreover, it is blind, and to some extent, fanatical. That moment when no one else is seen or heard behind one’s own person, and the rest simply do not matter at all, neither for the proud man, nor for the world as he understands it.

Pride is excessive respect, reverence for oneself, while everything else seems insignificant and has no meaning. Only his interests, feelings, desires are important.

Unlike egoism, there is a clear element of exalting oneself over the whole world. A direct example: “I should get this position because I am the best.” It doesn’t matter what you’re better at: at work or in your personal life. This clean water arrogant pride.

How does it manifest itself?

Manifestations of pride come in many different forms. It’s better to recognize with examples, but let’s start with the most common. The man has achieved success in life. For example, he made a fortune through his own efforts from scratch. Naturally, he will be proud of himself and feel confident, but over time, people began to seem lazy and slackers to him. Only he plows like an ox, giving all the parasites jobs, food, salaries, and therefore has every right to humiliate everyone around him, since he earned this right with his own hump. This is roughly the difference between pride and arrogance.

Pride hides behind arrogance. So, a person considers himself the one and only, the most beautiful and intelligent, and therefore no one has the right to tell him otherwise. Pride is often confused with narcissism, arrogance, and selfishness. In fact, pride is at the root of these manifestations. Their original source.

Sometimes it manifests itself as increased sensitivity. Resentment arises against the background of the fact that someone did not do as the proud man wanted, although he should have (of course, everyone owes him). Ordinary resentment passes quickly, but in the case of pride it does not. It remains in a person for years, destroying relationships with others and him at the same time.

When an individual lives in harmony with himself, he loves everyone around him, is happy for others, and enjoys life. With pride, everything is not enough for him, he is never satisfied, he believes that he deserves the best. Vanity joins in here, creating an explosive mixture of disgusting qualities. Resentment towards the whole world, eternal discontent, negative emotions accumulate inside a clot of energy, which destroys the body from the inside, and over time turns into diseases.

Methods of disposal

Return to a normal perception of the world - the only way to avoid a lonely death, and only working on yourself can help.

Recognize the problem

No matter how trivial and simple it may sound, awareness of the problem is the first step towards a solution. A person who realizes that he is subject to pride will find in himself the ability to pacify it.

He will begin to pull himself together, control his own thoughts, and finally fight. Thus, the solution to the question will come by itself, because all the answers are within us.

View the horizons

A person who has achieved success has the right to be worthy of himself, but not to humiliate others. Look around, do all successful people really consider others to be complete dirt, then you too will be a nonentity for him. Think about this more often.

Connect with more successful people in other fields

Another method of dealing with pride can be considered communication with people who are more successful and developed. Look for those, strive for those and get to know them. Moreover, be interested in business issues, life and everyday issues. Find someone who will be an example for you.

You will say that you are already good enough to take an example from another person. So answer the question: why don’t you have world fame, haven’t invented anything or haven’t given birth to children?

Constantly change your hobbies

When considering what a hobby is, we imagine an activity that we like and enjoy doing. Over time, having “eaten the dog” in a hobby or other type of activity, pride increases, they say: “Here is how much I can do!” The task of a person, being successful in one area, is to constantly be at the bottom of another.

Let it be cross stitch, pottery, figure skating.

As soon as you have learned to do something thoroughly, immediately change your occupation. This is useful for comprehensive development, and so you will always remind yourself that there is still something to learn.

Work with your own shortcomings

That's right, don't win, but work with them. Weaknesses are part of individuality and distinguish one person from another, so working with them is a normal practice that allows those who soared to heaven to descend to earth.

The work is as follows: you write your shortcomings on a piece of paper, and then regularly consider them, thinking about whether a person with such a set can be ideal and whether there is something to strive for.

Criticize yourself

When pride has saddled a person, then it is worth fighting it with the help of criticism addressed to oneself, from oneself. Criticize yourself mentally, on paper, on a tape recorder, whatever you like, but criticism should accompany you everywhere.

Try to keep it healthy and objective.

Ask a loved one for criticism

A person with signs of pride has a weakly expressed ability for self-criticism, and therefore it will be much more effective and objective to ask the opinion of another person. This could be a husband, girlfriend, sister. Any person you trust. Ask him to name three of your negative qualities, and then grit your teeth and don’t even think about proving him wrong.

Sleep with this thought for a day, two, think about what you were told. These are your shortcomings! Work on them.

Reading an article about pride already indicates that you have the ability to recognize and understand problems, which means you can get rid of them in no time, because a reasonable approach and willingness to work on oneself moves a person from one stage of development to another.