Today I will share with you the technology for solving any life problems. It works even in cases where, at first glance, there are no solutions. Read this article to the end, I have prepared a gift for you.

When it comes to problems, one wonderful anecdote comes to mind. During the interview they ask the question: “What talents do you have?” The candidate thinks and answers: “I have one talent: I can turn any basic task into a hopeless situation with a bunch of problems.”

Most of humanity has this talent. In simple words this is called “making a molehill out of a molehill.” Why is this happening? main reason- this is an attempt to solve a problem while being in an excited state emotional state. Remember the fragment from the movie “The Diamond Arm”: Chief, everything is gone.”

In 2008, when my wife was eight months pregnant, the head of the company where I worked announced the closure of the business. How? Why? Why now? Thoughts popped into my head: “What now?” “How to repay a loan taken out at 36% per annum?” “I’m giving birth in a month, but there’s no money and debts are through the roof...” How did this internal dialogue on emotions end? Three days of rest with high pressure. Did I solve this problem by working myself into a white heat? Of course not, I only strengthened it. What happened three days later? I calmed down and started solving this problem. First, I called all the suppliers and asked for help in finding a suitable job option. Most automatically answered what they would mean (it’s not clear: me, my situation, or...)

This incident gave me the opportunity to determine who is who in my environment. One person responded. His name is Dmitry, to whom I will be grateful until the end of my days. He introduced me to a wonderful and decent person, my current business mentor, Pavel Viktorovich, and my career began new round my career and personal development.

Analyzing this situation now, I understand that when any problem arises, you need to ask yourself the questions not “Why?”, but “For what?” Behind the solution to any problem, there is always an equal or greater opportunity.

I want to say a few words about the questions. Asking yourself an endless series of questions “Why?” You are heating up emotions that overshadow all common sense. And you drive yourself into a dead end. Of course, you need to understand the reason for this obstacle, but the question should be formulated as follows: “What does this problem signal and what will its solution lead to?” Problems and obstacles are training.

How to give yourself the first ambulance when another test comes into your life. Usually everyone says: “Calm down, everything will be fine, etc.” How to calm down? And what does it mean to calm down?

So, as soon as life throws another challenge at you, you need to remember the “golden rule”: “Never solve problems based on emotions.” Remember what happens to you when you encounter problems? The pulse quickens, the breathing becomes erratic, the head is a mess... Simply put, panic. A simple breathing exercise will help you calm down.

Take a deep breath, raising your arms up as if trying to absorb as much as possible, and lower your arms as you exhale. Let's do this exercise together. While doing this, concentrate on your breathing. Try to make the inhalation and exhalation as long as possible and each of them takes from 15 seconds to 30 seconds. Repeat several times if necessary. The result of this exercise will be the normalization of pulse and breathing and the readiness to move from the problem to its solution.

If this action does not help, move on to plan B. Put off solving the problem and go for a walk in the fresh air. I'm quite serious... The only exception: someone feels bad and requires an immediate response. In all other cases, half an hour in the fresh air will bring benefits many times more than you will continue to sit and be dumb, not knowing what to do. Believe me, nothing fatal will happen in 30 minutes.

After your walk, start looking for a solution. The most wonderful exercise “Brainstorming” will help us with this. To complete this we need a pen and a sheet of paper. It can be done alone or with other people.

What is it for? When a problem arises, it stands in front of us like a concrete wall and prevents us from seeing what opportunities lie behind it. Our task is to “push” this wall so that it becomes a bridge between the place where we are now and where we want to go. Simply put, turn the problem into a subgoal.

The technology is very simple. Write your problem at the top of a piece of paper. Then start writing down all the solutions that come to mind. Forget about all sorts of possibles and impossibles, nonsense is not nonsense, real or not, don’t edit, don’t think, don’t suppress your imagination, otherwise you might miss the most interesting thing. Just get all your ideas out on paper. All ideas are good. Brainstorming helps you get rid of the “garbage” in your head and helps you believe that there is more than one way out of the situation. Nothing excites us to action more than clarity of direction.

Once you've run out of ideas, choose a few options that excite you the most, even though they may be intimidating in their scope. Do not delete the remaining options. Try to find at least something in them that can help you.

Once the solution options have been identified, write down a plan for achievement and immediately begin targeted actions.

When any problem arises, you need to understand the main thing: “Never in our life do problems arise that are beyond our ability and that behind every problem lies the same or even greater opportunity.” This understanding will add confidence that you can cope with any problem.

And now the promised gift. If you have a problem that you cannot solve on your own, voice it in the comments to this video and I will choose the three most interesting options and help you find solutions absolutely free. If this problem really bothers you, hurry up.

That's all for today. See you again, friends.

A lot has been written about the classification of problems, about the methodology for solving them, various algorithms for “solving problems” have been painted and painted, but nothing really changes. If there are problems, then there are methods to solve them

A lot has been written about the classification of problems, about the methodology for solving them, various algorithms for “solving problems” have been painted and painted, but nothing really changes. If there are problems, then there are methods for solving them, well, it cannot be that humanity has not encountered problems since its inception. There were many of them and they were somehow resolved. Now we have no problems with the fact that the saber-toothed tiger, who wants to eat us, prevents us from leaving the cave for food. Problems are being solved.

The first thing you need to know (and many people already know this, but I’ll just remind you) is that if a person himself does not want to solve his problem or problems, then they will not be solved. You can only help a person solve it. And this statement has been tried - tried, tested and re-tested, but the fact remains: if a person (or a group of people) does not want to solve a problem, then it will not be solved and no one will help solve it. There are, of course, even more Hard case, when a person or a group of people do not realize at all that they have real problems and, accordingly, they will sit in them, and they (the problems) will ruin their life. Therefore, in order to solve a problem or problems, it is necessary to first recognize and detect them.

And here is a method, whether you want to call it an exercise or something else, but it works:

• The first thing to do is take a piece of paper and a pen and write down a list of problems that you have or in your field of activity, regardless of whether you think it is one that can be solved or one that cannot be solved, just write it down .
• Second: from the entire list, choose the problem whose presence you are most easily aware of, that is, the problem that seems to you or is perceived by you as the smallest. People often make the mistake of trying to do something about their biggest problem.
• Third: you have chosen such a problem (you want to mark it somehow in the entire list or write down its wording below the entire list), and now write down (of course, you will need to think about it) what you can do to solve this problem . That is, it is realistic what you can do to solve this problem.
• And fourth: do it!!! That is, solve it, this little problem.

Let's go over it quickly:

1. You make a list of problems (for example, you have 5):
   - I have a problem with my teeth, I need to go to the dentist, but I’m afraid;
   - Apartment without renovation for 15 years;
   - no one would take out the trash can, the kitchen stank;
   - there is no additional source of income, but I want even more money;
   - My son doesn’t want to study and we can’t do anything about it.
2. You see that the trash can is the least of your worries (and you don’t need to include here “my son is a blockhead, not only does he not want to study, but he also doesn’t take out the trash, he doesn’t understand that the trash needs to be taken out” - it stinks to you now, and not him - you have a problem). So you write down this problem as the smallest one or mark it on your list.
3. Write down what you can do with it. You, not a blockhead. And you write “Take it out into the yard in trash container" (or home garbage disposal, or somewhere else where normal people the garbage is thrown away, and not for the neighbor's apartment, since this will be another problem).
4. Easily or grittingly, gritting your teeth, you take out this bucket of garbage and bring it home without garbage and perhaps wash it (if something stinks in there). And it’s one less problem, and then you don’t persecute your son for it - it doesn’t exist.

And here’s the math here: let’s take and designate one problem as a unit, a unit of your nerves, attention, time, effort, mental activity, worries, energy and other things. In our example there are 5 problems, that is, 5 units. Due to the fact that you have them, they do not add up to one another, but rather multiply, since they are all yours. And we get 5 (units) problems multiplied by 5 problems (units) and we get 25 units negative emotions, nerves, and so on, and the feeling that you have not 5 separate problems, but 25! And all this puts pressure on you and rather you have the feeling that everything is a problem and there is no way out of it.

And so you wanted to cope with the biggest one - where do you get the strength if you essentially have 25 problems that are pressing on you with all their might?

And then you took out the trash can and now you have 4 problems, and 4 times 4 is 16, that is, 9 units of negativity or tension less. These are the 9 units that are now yours, and which you can now use to solve the next problem on the list and for some other, more constructive or useful and pleasant things.

Then look at the list further. And you find that the next problem that is easiest for you to look at is that you need to get your teeth in order and you write down what can be done about it and then go to the dentist (perhaps having quickly found out before that where the most humane in dentist in the world) and get your teeth in order. Now you have 3 problems, and 3 times 3 equals 9 units, which is 7 units less. And so on down the list: find the easiest one from the list, write what you can do with it and now you have 2 problems or a total of 4 units (and the rest of the original 25 are released and give you more opportunities to do something and more courage to solve other problems, the like arises). And then you are left with one problem, which most likely will no longer be a problem, but will be a task that needs to be completed.

There is one caveat here: as the number of problems decreases, you may be tempted to abandon all the others. Don't do this, the right thing to do is solve them. Naturally, when you release the units “locked” in problems, a new outlook on life will appear and you will re-plan something in your life and something will simply cease to be your problem (for example, a hurricane in the USA will stop bothering you or you will find out that your son knows what he wants and is interested in specialized training, and now the goal will appear - to find those people or institutions that will help your son develop his abilities and talents in the field of activity for which he has a craving).

Take these 4 steps, they help a lot and it’s natural that it may take a few minutes to take out the trash can, but creating and promoting your business (or another one) will most likely take more time.

If problems start to arise, just do these 4 steps.

As for solving problems that concern not you personally, but, for example, the team (staff, country, and so on), then on the contrary, everyone needs to remove the biggest blockages together, but this is already separate topic.

You will succeed!

The black streak can become a takeoff

We all face problems from time to time. Sometimes some situations and circumstances seem hopeless to us. I want to run away, close myself, forget everything that happened. But is it worth it?

After all, then the lesson will repeat itself again. There is another way to go into the problem, think about it day and night, shed tears, pour it over, drink it or eat it, in general, disguise it with something. And find the culprits!

Complaining about a problem and finding someone to blame will also only take away our strength and energy and lead us away from solving the problem.

It is also important to remember that the more we resist, the more the situation will escalate and become more complicated.

We need to find a way out! And better not alone. As the saying goes, from any hopeless situation there are at least three favorable ways out.

What methods of solving problems exist, and how to choose the most suitable one, or perhaps combine them?

1. A look from the outside.

This method involves searching for information on your own. Throughout history, man has found solutions to a great many problems. And he recorded the results of his decisions on material media: papyrus, paper, stone, computer.

When solving a problem, it is advisable, first of all, to independently turn to sources of endless information.

2. Contact a specialist.

We live in a society, we are surrounded by thousands of people, each of whom is an expert in some field. Psychologist, tarot reader, astrologer, coach, psychic, there are even problem solvers.

A specialist in solving “problems in general” differs from them only in that he works with problems that do not require extensive knowledge and extensive experience in a narrow field, but only intelligence, accuracy, common sense, some basic ideas, general problem-solving skills and, of course, inspiration.

Undoubtedly, someone has already encountered the problem you have encountered. Most likely, they were already solved by someone once, and many times.

The work of a professional saves your time and nerves, however good professional is expensive, and dependence on a psychologist can develop when a person has not solved his problems and still does not solve them.

3. Ask people close to you for help.

This method of solving problems is one of the most traditional. The method is quite reliable, since these are people with whom communication gives you pleasure. Often such communication can reassure and provide support.

Tell your family, friends, people you really trust. They will always be ready to help - with advice, with deeds. It's much better than drowning in negative thoughts and experiences.

This good opportunity get an “outside view.” The main thing is not to be intrusive and always be ready to provide such help.

4. Change focus.

Often we are too close and too emotionally involved in a problem to see and evaluate it from a good perspective. Try to look at the problem as an outside observer. With a broader view, you'll see more options.

Often we think about a problem, savor it in our brains, focus on it, but it is not solved. We try to decide with our minds, drowning out our intuition. In order for it to be solved, attention must be removed from the problem, the importance must be removed.

The content of automatic writing very often consists of drawings, incomprehensible signs, circles and, of course, texts.

All you have to do is write down everything that comes to mind. This must be done for 20 minutes to an hour. The main meaning and purpose of the process of automatic writing is to surrender to the flow of sensations you perceive.

Understanding the problem and a way out of it will come in the letter itself.

6. Ho'oponopono.

Ho'oponopono is the ancient Hawaiian art of problem solving. Translated from the Hawaiian language, the word "ho'oponopono" means "to correct a mistake" or "to put everything in its place." There are four affirmations that you should repeat over and over again, non-stop:

"I'm really sorry".

"Please forgive me".

"I love you".

"Thank you".

If you don't like something about another person, it means it's in you too. Your job is to get rid of it. When you succeed, the other person will also change.

When you use Ho'oponopono, you are not purifying a person, place or event, but rather neutralizing the energy associated with that person, place or event. The advantage of this method is that everything happens within you, there is no need for an intermediary.

7. Arrangements.

This method was developed by German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger. Arrangement is an effective method that allows you to easily and clearly identify the problem.

Using this method, you can discover the reasons that tie a person to a certain system of relationships, limit freedom of action and complicate personal development, preventing him from building his own life.

With the help of constellation, you can analyze what is happening to you, find an effective solution in your situation and

8. Reincarnation.

« If a problem arises, you need to dive deep into it. Then you will either find the treasure, if there is one there at all, or you will find only emptiness there. In both cases you will be enriched.

When you discover a treasure, you will naturally become rich. Finding emptiness will end it all“- Osho seems to be talking about reincarnationism.

It is immersion into oneself, into one’s memories, that this method presupposes. There can be no other people's answers or ready-made solutions here. Reincarnation seeks the root of the problem, and through time and space. And then it’s just a matter of small things – a decision.

Vladimir Zhikarentsev:

If we had the strength to create a problem or illness in our lives, then we have the strength to solve this problem.

Remembering past lives , you will understand that you have dealt with a similar problem more than once, and if not, then you will realize what result the approach you have already used led to. Perhaps a repeating situation lasts more than one life.

Often a problem, a block stores a resource, creative potential, that very treasure, upon discovering which you will no longer be the same. And no matter where or when you left it, it is yours, and you can use it at any time.

All you need to use this problem-solving method is trust in yourself, a good guide and the Internet.

Reincarnationism also involves self-help, self-absorption, which means you yourself can become a problem solver and help others.

There is always a way out. And the most amazing thing is that you know him. You know how to solve the most difficult problem, how to find a way out of the most difficult and confusing situation.

You can and should learn from problems, create and discover opportunities that otherwise would not have been discovered.

Fragment from the book by Richard Newton. From words to action! 9 steps to making your dreams come true. - M.: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2014.

With this book, you will draw up an action plan, create a visual diagram of achieving your goal, breaking the difficult path into clear, short and achievable stages, and begin to systematically move towards your dream, be it your own business, new profession or professional skills in playing a musical instrument.

Problem solving - part Everyday life. And you have to be prepared for them, especially when you're working towards achieving a big dream. The more ambitious and complex it is, the more often you will encounter difficulties, and serious ones at that. As your ambitions grow, you will become increasingly dependent on your ability to confront circumstances and learn from your mistakes.

Fortunately, insurmountable problems are extremely rare. And many of them can be considered far-fetched, since we create them ourselves when we start to panic and lose control of ourselves. When faced with a problem, we sometimes don't give ourselves enough time to think about why it's happening and possible ways changes in the situation. And most importantly, we don’t draw conclusions and don’t learn.

Not giving up and working hard to achieve your dreams requires both courage and a willingness to put in serious effort. In this chapter we will try to help you understand that problems are nothing special, they can be solved in one way or another. We'd like you to treat them as normal, so we'll show you how to draw conclusions and learn. By following our advice, you will significantly increase your chances of success and learn to take into account your own experience.

Sources of problems

Challenges are obstacles and difficulties that must be overcome in order to achieve a goal. As a rule, they arise for various reasons and are often the result of our own mistakes and failures. There are several factors that usually lead to problems. To identify them as early as possible, we advise you to regularly ask yourself the questions listed below.

• Am I really busy? necessary thing and get the result? There is no point in deceiving yourself by evaluating your work unreasonably positively. Do you see real, measurable results from the work you undertake? Very often we do not achieve our goals and encounter problems because we are not fully immersed in our work. But if you allow yourself to be lazy and indulge your weaknesses, you are unlikely to make serious progress towards your dream, and problems cannot be avoided either.
• Do I understand what resources will be needed to take the next step?

When we start working on our dreams, we don’t have a complete idea of ​​what exactly we will need along the way. Therefore, you should constantly ask yourself what resources will be needed in the next step. Most often we miss some details at the very beginning - and it is important that everything you need is at hand at the right time, and not sometime later.

• Do the people who help me and work with me understand well what needs to be done, what we have already achieved and how the situation has changed? Almost always, the weakest link in a project is communication between participants. For some reason we think that those around us completely understand us, although often we don’t even give them complete information about what we expect from them. In our opinion, they know the same thing as we do, therefore, in general, everything is known and understandable. We believe that colleagues and partners know how the situation is changing and what needs to be done in the new conditions. It is very, very important to check and double-check that everyone knows and understands everything, especially if you feel that communication between participants is poor. This way you can avoid at least some problems. The fewer assumptions you make, the better the information will be conveyed about what is truly important and relevant.
• Am I developing paranoia? Some people think too much about what might happen. Sometimes we want to avoid failure or mistakes so badly that the thought of it completely paralyzes us. And in general, if you think a lot about potential troubles, you can provoke problems that would not have arisen with a more calm attitude to what is happening. Fear of failure often prevents you from giving your best to your dreams. So don’t let yourself worry too much and think about possible difficulties, better work harder!

How to avoid problems

One simple and efficient technique Solving problems will help you avoid many of them. From time to time, be sure to ask yourself two questions that we have already discussed earlier in this book.

1. What is most likely to go wrong, and what can you do to avoid it?
2. What can improve your chances of success?

Whenever you achieve significant results and add new data to the map, ask yourself these questions, remembering to take into account the real situation, changes that have occurred in your project since work on it began, as well as potential changes. The further you move along the path to your dream, the more detailed you will be able to answer these questions, because you will begin to better understand what else is needed in order to make your dream come true, what techniques work more effectively and where failure may lie in wait.

In addition, the experience you gain will help you spot new opportunities and increase your chances of success. Use them to avoid some problems. You will become more confident as you gain new experiences.

How to solve a problem

The main thing in solving a problem is to understand what it is and not give in to fears and anxiety. There's nothing worse than panicking and trying to change something you don't fully understand. This way you can ruin everything without finding any solution. We offer you some tips that will help you overcome many difficulties that arise during your work.

• If you feel like you are overreacting to an incident, try to calm down. What can help here? Go somewhere where you can relax, treat yourself to something nice, take a walk or something similar.
• Try to explain to someone you trust what happened. After discussing the problem, you will not only calm down, but you will also immediately discover some mistakes that you would not notice if you began to dialogue with yourself. Describe the chronology of events as accurately as possible. Do not miss any details, even minor ones, and most importantly, listen to the questions and comments of your interlocutor.
• If you are working on a team, be sure to discuss what happened with everyone on the team. Listen carefully to their point of view in order to compare with your considerations, pay attention to discrepancies in assessments. During such conversations, the cause of the problem is easily identified.
• When starting work, you probably made various assumptions and assumptions. Be sure to check that they are correct, especially for those parts of the plan where you experienced failure. We all tend to make assumptions without checking their truth. Troubles most often arise because we start from the wrong premises at the very beginning of our work.
• Having dealt with what is happening, do not rush to blame yourself or someone else for the failure. Finding someone to blame is unlikely to help find a constructive way out of a difficult situation. Direct all your efforts to get the most positive result possible in the current situation. Think about the best way to move forward and solve the problem quickly.
• Take the time to discuss everything with your team, internalize the lessons learned, and draw conclusions from them. What can I do to avoid this in the future? Don't assume that everyone, including you, will do it correct conclusions unless you at least discuss what happened. The more concerned you are about a problem, the more important it is to draw conclusions and discuss them with your team.

Give up everything that doesn't work

Successful people know how to quickly figure out what doesn’t work and give up on an unsuccessful idea in time. Teachers and parents probably warned you how important it is to be able to quit a hopeless business - as long as you don't give up on your dream. Change the wrong tactics, give up the wrong path, but don’t give up on your dreams. Every day we make mistakes, as a result of which we understand what is effective and what is not. Mistakes, to a much greater extent than successes, help humanity develop.

As you work to achieve your dreams, prepare for the fact that everyone involved in the project will make mistakes. If you learn quickly, adjust your tactics, and begin to move forward more successfully, mistakes will turn out to be positive for you. To be defeated once does not mean to fail completely. But the inability to take into account negative experiences and change behavior certainly leads to failure.

It is also important to pay attention to what problems you usually encounter. Suppose that from time to time you use the wrong tactics, but have not yet realized this and, accordingly, have not drawn any conclusions. If you feel like the same problem is happening over and over again, or if you see a pattern in a series of troubles, then you haven't noticed or recognized the repeating mistakes. If so, try to apply the problem-solving techniques we recommend and reflect on how you approach things in general. Talk to other people and, as soon as you understand what you are doing wrong, stop doing it. As Albert Einstein said, “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a new result is insanity.”

Don't be afraid to change your approach to work and see what happens. Most often, no radical changes are required: small improvements lead to great results and increase the chances of success.

Don't give up on your dream

Don't give up on your dream just because you're faced with a problem and don't know what to do now. Be patient, both with yourself and with others. Give yourself time to understand what is happening. Jonas Salk* said: “There is no such thing as failure, only a lack of perseverance.”

*Jonas Salk (1914–1995) - American researcher, virologist; known as the developer of the first polio vaccine. Note ed.

As you work towards your dream and learn more, you will begin to have a better idea of ​​the outcome and a clearer vision of how to achieve your goal. We strongly advise you to adjust your map whenever you learn something new and important. Improving your map and defining your dream more clearly is great practice. But giving up a dream halfway is no good. By doing this, you will only increase your own fears, undermine your self-confidence, and then it will become more difficult to develop. The more often you give up on your goals, the less likely it is that you will be able to achieve any of what you dream of.

How do I know if I'm doing everything right?

You can understand that everything is going as it should, that you are persistent enough and are successfully coping with problems:

• You talk calmly about the problems you face. When you are calm, you work through a problem from a rational rather than an emotional point of view and are more likely to find the optimal solution.
• You don't lose your sense of humor. If you are still able to laugh at own mistakes, this means that you accepted them, drew conclusions and moved on.
• You understand well what you need to do differently now to avoid problems like the one you just encountered. You can't wait to continue working on making your dreams come true.
• As problems arise, you feel more and more confident and you no longer doubt that you will cope with them.
• The same problem does not occur over and over again. Even if difficulties appear, they can be considered new.

See also: What is your problem? © R. Newton. From words to action! 9 steps to making your dreams come true. - M.: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2014.
© Published with permission from the publisher

What makes a problem unsolvable?

A problem looks unsolvable when a person 1) does not know how to solve it 2) knows, but cannot.

Let's deal with the first point first.

A person does not know how to solve a problem, does not see a solution.

This is the most difficult, nervous and unpleasant state. When you already know, but can’t, it’s easier, it’s clear what to do, the task is to gather your strength. And not knowing how, a person rushes about and looks for someone who could help him see these paths. He goes to friends, looks for an answer on the Internet, and makes an appointment with a psychologist.

I already gave universal recipe how to discover solutions to any problem. To do this, when considering this problem, it is enough to change the external locus to the internal one.

The explanation for this miracle is simple. A person does not know “how” when the description of the problem is beyond the boundaries of his influence. Once you place the problem within your own boundaries, a solution will appear.

Look again at examples of how the locus changes and problems are reformulated.

Problem: “the woman I love doesn’t love me.”

This problem is unsolvable because its solution is beyond the limits of human influence, we're talking about about what another person does or does not do, in this case - does not love.

How can we reformulate this problem by changing the locus?

There are several options. “I worry because a woman doesn’t love me” - and then the problem is worry. You can work with feelings, you can work with suffering self-esteem, bitterness and fear of the collapse of relationships. “It seems to me that they don’t love me” - and then the problem is to figure out whether they love me. Although in the latter case it is important to understand why you need to understand? What will he do with this knowledge? Will he leave and try to restore balance? If it’s the first, it makes sense to find out, but if it’s the second, you can work on balance without this knowledge.

There is a more or less general formulation for such problems, which requires an understanding of the concept of imbalance: “I am at a disadvantage in this relationship” - and then the problem is its own disadvantage, you can work with it. This work is about reducing your dependence on a person and forming your persona in his field, more significant than it is now. The second is the opportunity to even go beyond the boundaries a little while remaining in the internal locus (from the point of view of psychology this is “magic”, but it has scientific explanation, that is, it does not concern anything supernatural).

The internal locus is a spacesuit that allows you to go into any airless space and visit alien planets. Within the limits of one’s own planet (its own borders) the locus is already internal, the spacesuit is replaced by the atmosphere.

Let's look at another problem: loss of a job (any loss of anything or anyone, even a wife)

In the internal locus, this problem will look like “worries about loss” and (or) “search for a replacement.” You can work with both problems, and even both at once. There's just nothing you can do about losing your job. The job has already been lost, this is beyond human influence. But a person can do something with his experiences: he must find ways to switch, compensate, console, cope with the trauma inflicted on him (raise self-esteem, restore his integrity, renew his defenses, and so on)

By the way, about injury. Having a problem with trauma, it is very important to again stay in the internal locus. The injury has already been caused (or so it seems, it doesn’t matter), you can’t go back, the task is to remove all the negative consequences and recover. (Or you need to formulate the problem not as “my injury”, but differently, for example, “the fight for the rights of other injured people”). In healing trauma, "revenge" or "forgiveness" is different ways restoring internal integrity, it is important to find the method that will be most effective, but do not forget about the future. Some people believe that without revenge, integrity cannot be restored, but this is not always the case. Some are sure that if you try to take revenge, you will always lose more. This is not always the case either. It is important to consider your situation and carefully understand why you want revenge, what exactly it will restore or not restore, very often this gives only the illusion of restoring “justice” and “self-respect,” but sometimes not only an illusion, and then the only question is finding adequate ways.

But this is a separate topic, and if everyone is very interested in it, I will tell you in more detail later.

The locus always needs to be shifted, even when it seems impossible to shift it inward. There is always at least part of the problem that can be shifted within one's own boundaries. Everything that is beyond the borders is unsolvable, inaccessible, and does not deserve long-term attention, since nothing can be done.

Of course, knowing the solution is still very little to solve the problem. There must still be strength. That’s why I wrote at the beginning of the post that the problem is unsolvable when a person does not know how, or knows, but cannot. To find means to solve a problem that is located in the internal locus, that is, within one’s own influence, it is important to understand what is blocking the forces. As a rule, this is either 1) frustration (apathy), or 2) fear, aka uncertainty.

I will tell you how to overcome or cheat frustration and how to cope with fear and self-doubt to solve a problem.

In the meantime, there are problems for you on the topic “changing an external locus to an internal one.”

Reframe the following problems so that the locus changes from external to internal. There may be not one wording, but several.

1. “My colleague is annoying me with stupid conversations at work.”

2. “Mother constantly interferes with unnecessary advice”

3. “The child does not want to do his homework”

4. “My husband is offended because sex is too infrequent and boring”

5. “Nothing interesting happens in life.”

6. “My wife is constantly nagging about money.”

7. “The boss is a fool”