Since, according to the ancient Mayan calendar, the end of the world is supposed to come in 2012, and the Internet is constantly trumpeting about this, we need to celebrate 2012 in a special way. We have developed specially for this case New Year 2012 scenario, and it’s called “Saving the Earth or a Secret Message from Aliens.”
So, when all the guests are gathered, the sound of a flying spaceship, and space music sounds. An image appears on the wall using a projector (which can be replaced with a plasma TV) (it must be recorded in advance). On the screen everyone sees 2 aliens:
First, first, I'm second. Can you hear me okay? Welcome!.. We are messengers from the distant constellation Pleiades, descendants of the ancient Mayans who lived on your planet. We have arrived to reveal to you the secret of the Mayan calendar. But first you must agree to visit your Earth and sit with you at the festive table!
After the earthlings allow the aliens to attend their holiday, the sound of an explosion is heard and smoke appears, this is exactly the effect suggested by the New Year 2012 scenario. Two disguised presenters enter the hall:
Greetings Earthlings!!! We are glad to meet you after so many light years. We want to get to know you better. Please, introduce yourself.
The aliens pass the microphone into the hall, and all the guests take turns saying their names. The aliens joke, paraphrase the names of the guests, approach some of the guests, start checking their pulses, look at their hairstyles, in general, they pretend to study people. While one alien walks around the hall, the second one writes down the observations of the first one in a notebook. Everything needs to be done with irony, but in such a way as not to offend anyone.
After all the Earthlings have been studied, the aliens, according to the New Year 2012 scenario, offer a drink to meet each other. The first toast sounds. And right behind him is the second one. One of the Aliens says that he knows an old earthly ritual, which says that there is a small break between the first and second!
After this, the Aliens hold several table contests. For example, “Message from Earth”. A text is prepared in advance where adjectives must be inserted. The guests' task is to name any adjectives that will then be inserted into the text. Usually it turns out very funny, since the guests do not know in advance what will be discussed. When all the adjectives are written down, the message is read out. Laughter and smiles are guaranteed.
After the table competitions, when it’s 12 o’clock at night, everyone listens to the president’s message on the big screen on the wall, drinks New Year. And the Aliens congratulate everyone on the holiday. After this, the Aliens call all the guests outside to see the cosmic starfall (fireworks) on the occasion of the New Year.
After the fireworks, everyone returns to the hall, where guests will find an incendiary star disco with dancing, competitions and prizes from the Aliens.
At approximately 2-3 o'clock in the morning, the cosmic Santa Claus arrives to visit the Earthlings. An old man in steel-colored clothes, with large false ears and a long nose, space antennas should stick out of his hat on his head, and there should be wings on his back. Cosmic Santa Claus says:
I flew from the vast intergalactic space in order to congratulate you Earthlings on the New Year, pick up these two dunces and inform you that no end of the world is expected on Earth in 2012! Humanity will live forever!!! But you must learn to love not only each other, but also Mother Earth, who waters and feeds you. Don’t litter it and don’t poison it, otherwise it won’t be possible to live on Earth!
After this, Santa Claus distributes gifts to everyone, takes the Aliens, space music sounds, and the alien guests hide in puffs of artificial smoke.
After this, the Earthlings continue to dance and have fun.
Scenario for New Year 2012 “Saving the Earth or a secret message from aliens”
Scenarios of alien conquest of the Earth that science fiction writers don’t like to write about September 28th, 2017
We discussed something like this and at least However, when you read science fiction books and watch films, in them aliens usually try to conquer us with rude military force. It is assumed that their technology and weapons are better and we are fighting back. Sometimes successful, sometimes not.
But imagine that there could be more than just violent or military scenarios...
1. Military trade
Aliens secretly establish contact with the government of one of the earthly states. They offer him a weapon that provides superiority over anything existing on Earth, but, naturally, inferior to their own. For a fee valuable resources, or in the version of a military alliance - they say, we are waging a war in space here and we need a strong, united, highly developed planet as an ally, and not the mess that you have. Stick with us, you will eat meat. It is advisable to choose weapons that do not pollute the planet for delivery.
As soon as those benefited go to war with other states, the enemy is also offered high-tech weapons. It is possible on behalf of another alien race: they say, we don’t want the Earth to be for our enemies, beat the traitors and be free. Or for a fee, nothing personal, just business. As the conflict develops, the parties are supplied with increasingly cool wunderwaffles at higher prices, and so on until complete mutual extermination.
2. Economic.
The aliens, having arrived, establish friendly relations with earthlings and offer mutually beneficial trade. If their civilization is capable of moving among the stars, it means they are at least several technological levels and tens of generations of technology ahead of us. They offer us high-tech consumer goods that are about 30 years ahead of the level of development of earthly science and technology. That is, they do not give earthlings technological superiority.
If we suddenly manage to reproduce production technologies, generation + products are released onto the market. They take it inexpensively - the same as their earthly “analogues” cost, so that they cannot be accused of dumping. They accept our money as payment, which is invested in the purchase of land and deposits of raw materials. Properly pay all taxes and duties. Additionally, they offer transport services - from space tourism for the rich to cheap cargo transportation within the Earth, as well as delivery of raw materials that are scarce on earth from other planets.
To ensure the loyalty of local governments, some of the production can even be located on Earth, employing local workers who perform the simplest operations, even those that could be performed automatically. Earthlings are happy, there are no reasonable arguments for refusal - if some state begins to act, an embargo is declared on it.
After several decades of such cooperation, not only does the main part of the earthly industry die - there is no point in investing in it, both light and heavy, since no one needs earthly machines or ships with trains, but earthlings lose the ability to produce even what they could previously . There is no point in studying to become an engineer or scientist - there is no job anyway. At this stage, the aliens already have pocket governments and pocket armies, which begin to reduce excess food, up to minimizing the Earth's population.
3. Scammer
The aliens arrive, conduct a cultural exchange for some time, ingratiate themselves, demonstrate high level science and technology, some of them are simply donated, but without fanaticism, explaining the restraint with the risks of unbalancing the development of civilization. They admire earthly culture, take state leaders and the cultural elite to visit them, show how well they live, admire the wisdom of earthly scientists and politicians, and applaud the concerts of earthly musicians.
Then they report that their science has discovered that the Sun will soon - within a few years - explode. They express their readiness to take free of charge to a safe planet and save a part of the Earth’s population of our choice - be it children, or great scientists and athletes, or the unfortunate with Down syndrome, or some of those whom they decide for themselves.
At the same time, “representatives of the third force” secretly appear on Earth - supposedly a different race of aliens, or not so disinterested fellow citizens of the first. They are ready to take out additional people who can pay dearly for tickets. Non-ferrous and radioactive metals and their deposits are accepted as payment - with their technologies they can be quickly extracted.
Panic begins on Earth, a fight for resources that can be used to buy a ticket, anarchy on the eve of the inevitable end. The elite, which could establish order, has no time for it, every man for himself. If someone resists and doesn’t even accept a free ticket, others eliminate him for the same ticket. A couple of years later, the Earth was thrown back into barbarism, the elite was taken out and sold into slavery/for organs/meat, nuclear warheads and planes were torn up for scrap, the new owners dictate their terms to those left behind.
4. Conspiratorial
The aliens secretly take back some of the promising earthlings, show them their prosperous society and explain that those taken out are in fact the descendants of representatives of their race who accidentally got stuck on Earth. There shouldn’t be any problems convincingly portraying humanoids in stationary conditions for representatives of such a race, even if you present humanoid robots to earthlings, even if you use hypnosis with drugs. They let you stay at home and taste the delights.
After this, the guests are told that humanity is dangerous to the peace of the Universe, and it must be destroyed, but the galactic UN does not order this to be done by forces of external invasion; it must be persuaded to the right path of development. Those processed as familiar with local specifics are thrown back to Earth, well prepared, with the task of infiltrating key positions and preparing the capture process. It’s like a link, but with the opportunity to save time by doing faithful service and receive a hearty ration for completing the task.
Zaslantsev is supported financially and informationally, advised on what to say, who to rely on, etc. To simplify the seizure of power and the development of chaos, you can feed the rest of the Earth's population information that they have alien agents operating, and give some false signs to expose the agents, such as a certain chromosome set. As a result, after several decades, the finances, governments and armies of the Earth are headed by people convinced that they are representatives of a different race, the invasion of which they in their posts contribute in every possible way, agreeing to any unequal treaties and blocking resistance.
5. Theologically sadistic
The aliens arrive and hang their ships in the distant orbits of the Earth, where they are practically inaccessible to earthly weapons. They don’t make contact, perhaps they even remain invisible to us. Sometimes, completely spontaneously, they carry out targeted strikes, the logic of which is impossible to understand.
Then they will take and destroy some Big City. Then they will release a virus that eradicates a specific plant or animal species, but leaves others untouched. Then they will incinerate the temples of one particular religion. Then they will begin to methodically shoot at planes and ships in a certain area of the Earth. All weather satellites will be destroyed. They will burn out a piece of remote taiga, etc.
Not only will the global economic system, since the volatility in the markets is already tens of percent daily, and insurance premiums have skyrocketed, but the earthlings are also psychologically broken. The sword of Domocles, constantly hanging over one’s head, the blows of which cannot be predicted, provokes mass psychoses, the emergence of totalitarian sects, group suicides and pogroms.
When the aliens finally decide to make contact, the society, which has fallen into anarchy, will willingly submit to them, happily accepting the version that the gods have descended to it. The will to resist will be broken, humanity will fulfill any, even the most idiotic demands. The earth will be conquered without much destruction and casualties, but with a huge amount of lulz for the invaders.
sources
New Year's scene“Aliens visiting the guys”
A children's production about aliens can be included in the New Year's program. Sketch for children New Year's holiday designed for children aged 8-9 years (grades 2-3). It can be either part of the holiday script or an independent theatrical performance.
Characters:
– aliens: Chupi, Mupi and Bupi;
– presenter;
- Father Frost.
Chupi looks into the door of the classroom (or hall where the celebration is taking place), looks around carefully and enters.
Chupi: Moopy, Boopy, where are you? Come here! The inhabitants of the Earth are sitting here, and they seem to be intelligent!
Moopy and Bupi enter.
Moopy: Do you think they are not dangerous?
Boopie:(approaches the Christmas tree) Oh-pi-pi-pi!.. What is this? Some kind of plant. Grows right on the floor! (reaches out to the tree with his hand).
Moopy: Pee-e-e! Do not touch!
Boopie: Why-wee?
Moopy: Suddenly it explodes! We don't know anything here!
Boopie: But I'm interested! After all, I am an astronaut explorer!
Chupi: Stop arguing. Mupi says it right - you need to be careful. And just in case, polite. What if the inhabitants of the Earth don’t like us touching their plant! Pi?
All three begin to carefully examine the tree.
The presenter enters.
Leading: Hello guys! Hello, dear guests! Let me congratulate you on the New Year, wish you happiness, health, and fulfillment of your dreams. And now we are starting our festive... Oh, who are they?
The aliens get down on all fours and start hitting the floor with their palms. Then they stand up, all together lift first the left leg, bent at the knee, then the right. Then they raise their arms bent at the elbows with their fingers spread out.
They say in chorus: Pi! Pi! Pi!
There follows a short scene of surprised silence.
Leading: I don’t understand... What is this?
Chupi(to his friends): What a stupid earthling! He doesn't understand that we welcome him.
Okay, let's try it differently. (to the presenter) Well, what’s incomprehensible here, pi? We arrived from the planet Apilikryak, our spaceship received some damage while passing through your dense atmosphere...
Moopy: I don’t understand why you need so much oxygen, our stabilizers almost flew off!
Chupi: Don't interrupt! Don't bother making contact! Well, I say: We sat on the roof of this building, we are highly civilized, I hope you are too, and we ask if you will help us fix our starship?
Leading: Well, I do not know…
Boopie: Well, can you at least explain to us what kind of plant this is? Moopy over there says you can't touch him or he'll explode.
Leading: No, no! This is a New Year's Eve!.. Oh, no, Elon's Eve... No, no, a New Year's Tree, here!
Aliens in chorus: Now we don't understand!
Leading: Guys, let’s all say together: “NEW YEAR’S TREE”, otherwise I’m getting excited!
The guys say in unison: Christmas tree!
Boopie: A-a-pi-pi-pi!.. Now it’s clear. Although not very...
Chupi and Mupi:(shakes head) Peep-pee-pee...
Leading: Dear Apilikryans! I am very happy, and the guys are very happy, and we are all very happy!...We are celebrating the New Year here and invite you to the holiday. And when you watch our concert, you will understand everything! Now sit down and be our guests.
Everyone applauds, the aliens sit down in the hall.
Leading: Well, now everything is assembled, we can begin our concert.
One of the guys - spectators: Have you forgotten about Santa Claus? If he doesn’t see our concert, he might be offended!
Leading: Well, let's call him!
Everyone calls Santa Claus.
Father Frost: I'm coming! (enters, out of breath) Oh, I think I made it! Haven't started the concert yet?
Leading: No, what are you, what would it be like without you? Who will light the Christmas tree for us?
Father Frost: Christmas tree then? So right away and the Christmas tree? OK! (He approaches the tree, casts a spell with a staff, blows on it, the tree does not light up). I'm tired, I guess I need to rest!
Leading: Of course, take a break from the road and watch our concert! Here is a chair for you, the biggest and most comfortable one, sit for a while.
A small concert begins. Children read poems, sing songs, dance.
Leading: Well, Grandfather, did you like our concert? Did you, dear aliens, like the concert?
Everyone applauds.
Father Frost: Well done boys! We deserve gifts! (puts the bag under the tree). Now let's try to light the Christmas tree together. I’ll cast a spell with a magic staff, and you say: “One, two, three! Shine Christmas tree!"
The Christmas tree lights up, everyone rejoices, and Chupi, Mupi and Bupi surround Santa Claus.
Chupi: Santa Claus, your staff is truly magical! Maybe you can help us fix our spaceship!
Moopy and Boopy: Yes, Santa Claus, help us, please! Otherwise we won’t be able to get to Apilikryak in time for our New Year!
Father Frost: Well, guys, should we help our Aliens?
The guys agree Santa Claus and the aliens say goodbye: Happy New Year!
Characters:
Father Frost
Snow Maiden
Alien Khrum - Thrum
Alien Gosha
Father Frost and Snow Maiden appear on stage
D.M. Hello, dear guests! Hello, children and dear adults! We have gathered on this wonderful day - on the eve of the New Year - and each of us believes that a miracle will happen to him today!
Sn. New Year's holiday is coming soon!
The whole earth is waiting for him!
The forest is dressed in silver...
Expect miracles this holiday!
D.M. (pointing to the sky) What a miracle! A small green star is approaching the earth. It's getting bigger.
Sn. Yes, it's a flying saucer! Are we really going to meet aliens?
(Cosmic music sounds, the alien Gosha appears)
Gosh. I'm on this jalopy
Fly to your planet!
I'm not afraid of you either,
But a little surprising:
What is this white speck?
Is it very cold?
Incomprehensible your summer-
There are no leaves on the trees,
The needles just grew
Here on this one on a broom! (nods at the tree)
Sn. This is not a broom, but a Christmas tree!
Gosh. Christmas tree?
Sn. This is not a white grain, but snow!
Gosh. Zne - eg?
D.m. And this is not summer at all, but winter.
Gosh. Winter is bad, cold! (shakes)
Sn. No! Winter is very good! To avoid freezing, people dress in warm fur coats, mittens and boots.
D.m. In winter you can build snow forts and play snowballs!
Gosh. And it’s always hot on our planet! We have no snow! No snowballs!
D.m. Don't you have a New Year?
Gosh. What is New Year?
Sn. Holiday! All earthlings decorate Christmas trees, light colorful lights, and cook delicious dishes and give each other gifts!
Gosh. A-ah! and my dad and mom also gave me gifts!
Sn. Where are your dad and mom?
Gosh. My dad and mom
Aliens too!
We flew and flew away,
We were looking for a protector!
I got a little lost, got lost, got lost!
D.m. Why did you need a defender?
Gosh. Our planet was attacked by the terrible Khrum - Trum! He is from a different planet, very, very, very evil. He wanted to turn us all into Tamagotchis and sell us to your planet! Here!
Sn. Don't be afraid, Gosha! We won't let you offend!
How much joy there is in winter if you don’t sit still! (round dance around the tree)
D.m. You can sled down the hill, skate and ski!
Gosh. Explain to me, my friends,
What is eating skates?
Is this a difficult riddle?
D.m. No!
Gosh. Is this a little horse?
D.m. No!
Gosh. Do skates wave their manes?
D.m. No!
Gosh. Are they running in a race?
Gosh. Skating, skating, relay race!
When I return to my planet,
I'll make artificial ice,
ride all day and night!
Sn. Dear Gosha, on this day
You didn’t come in vain!
This holiday is the best!
New Year - what a miracle - a fairy tale!
Gosh. Fairy tale! Fairy tale! Oh, I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I don't want to!
D.m. Well, what, are you afraid, you fool? Are all fairy tales on your planet scary?
Gosh. Boring! Fairy tales are “twice two is four”, “three times three is nine”... I don’t want a fairy tale!
D.m. “twice two makes four” is a multiplication table! And fairy tales are magical stories.
Sn. The tale of miracles is full! We all need a fairy tale! Every fairy tale is, children, a small country!
(the song “Little Country” is performed)
Gosh. Little country! Little country! I want, I want, I want a fairy tale! Tell us!
D.m. No, we won't tell a fairy tale,
We better show it!
Guys, do you know a lot of fairy tales? Then tell me which fairy tale main character…
Sn. He really liked to lie, he made up a hundred stories: he shot a cherry pit at a deer...
Gosh. Shooting?
Sn. I dragged myself out of the swamp by my hair...
Gosh. Taskal?
Sn. Have you flown on wild ducks?
Gosh. Lethal?
Sn. On cannonball rode...
Gosh. Did you ride?
Sn. And I was never left a fool!
D.m. Guys, tell Gosha, what was the name of this dreamer and liar?
(Baron Munchausen)
Gosh. I want, I want, I want to be like this baron! If my plate breaks, I want to ride on the cannonball!
Sn. There is another fairy tale...
D.m. About the princess!
Sn. Who couldn’t sleep all night, kept spinning and turning, because under her 12 down jackets and 12 feather beds lay... What, guys?
Gosh. Ice cream? Under the feather bed? A! Understood! It must have been such a fabulous ice cream - it didn’t melt!
D.m. Yes, not ice cream, but a pea! That’s what the fairy tale is called: “The Princess and the Pea.” Yes, the princess and the pea, not the ice cream! Let's have a game for our girls.
Gosh. I am the first! I am the first! I want to be a princess!
Sn. Gosh, you got everything mixed up again! Only girls can be princesses!
Gosh. Confused? Yes, I am the world's most important changer - a mixer!
Sn. And I know one simple girl who became a princess because she was obedient, kind and cheerful. There is both a fairy tale and a riddle about her:
Even though it's hard for her to work,
And if he works, he is not lazy,
But she is destined to come out
Behind fairy prince!
What is the name of this fairy-tale heroine? (Cinderella)
Gosh. I know! I guessed! I can’t be Cinderella either! (Snow Maiden disappears unnoticed and changes into a Baba Yaga costume)
I like fairy tales so much!
Fairy tales, yes!
All fairy tales are beautiful
And always kind!
(music sounds, ditties are performed)
B. i. Well, guess who I am,
Just don't open your mouth,
I'm known to everyone
Grandma is wonderful!
I live in a hut in the forest
With a wart on the nose.
Maybe I'm nasty
But at least it’s sporty!
I can play football
Bone leg
And I’ve been called for a long time
Just Grandma - Yozhka!
Gosh. - oh, I'm afraid, I'm afraid! Leave, evil grandma, go away nasty Hedgehog - lame!
D.M. Gosha, Goshenka, don’t be afraid, set yourself in a good mood, look carefully - you’ll definitely find out! This is not Baba Yaga at all, but the Snow Maiden! She just changed her clothes to cheer everyone up.
Your wonderful planet
Everything is full of love and light!
Everything is good here
games, singing and dancing!
AND frosty winter
It's not cold here!
There are no boring or gloomy ones,
I won't be lost with you
And from the evil Khrum - Truma
I will find protection here!
Sn. - Well, what are you talking about, Goshenka! Maybe the evil Khrum - Trum will not find you here...
(Ominous music sounds, Khrum - Trum appears.)
Hrum.
Krum-krum, rum-rum,
Krum-krum, rum-krum!
Glory to my mighty mind!
I ran fast like a light
and now Goshin’s trail is on him!
Don't wag your tails
Give it back to Gosha quickly!
D.m. (menacingly) Who are you talking about tails to? I'll freeze you now!
Hrum. And I will shoot beams from a laser - maser - igniter!
Sn. No no no! No need to shoot rays, no need to freeze anyone! There are children here! Let's resolve everything peacefully!
Hrum. In what other peaceful way? I am the strongest! Your peaceful ways are of no use to me! I will beat you all, no, I will defeat you! No, I will win! Briefly speaking! I have won and will continue to win.
D.m. And you can test your strength with the guys! (game “Get Out of the Circle”)
Sn. Well, strong man Khrum-Trum? Will you fight the strongman?
Hrum. Fuck - drums! There is no force on our planet like that of your pushers! I will not fight with them, never, not for anything, no, pipes, figurines, the hell out of it! Smart because I am! Smarter than everyone else because I am! Give me Gosha quickly!
Sn. Well, if you really are smarter than everyone else, let’s play riddles! If you guess just one, so be it, take Gosha!
(in a whisper to Gosha) don’t be afraid, Goshenka! He will never guess my riddles!
Hrum. I can guess your riddles like biting a nut with my teeth. Crack - crack - and smack! Hrum-Thrum!
Sn. Here's my first riddle:
The good gnome repairs the sky -
Hitting the clouds with a hammer!
Who is this?
Hrum. It's me! I'm flying, I'm thundering, I'm hitting the clouds - give me Gosha! Hrum-Thrum!
D.m. Ah, the scarecrow is flying, he doesn’t understand anything! It's thunder!
Hrum. Ah-ah, how can I not guess! I am tearing and throwing! But don't fly back! Bring on your next riddle! I'll chew her brains out! Krum - rum!
Sn. I walked through the earth and found Little Red Riding Hood!
Hrum. It's me, me, me! And flew through space! And passed through the earth! And I found Gosha! Are you hiding it under a red cap? I'll find him now! Chrum Thrum!
D.m. Oh, you flying head chattered! It's not you at all, but a mushroom! If only you could fly from here, hello, before I give you the initial acceleration!
Hrum. No no! I don't agree! I have another riddle! I’ll guess it and take Gosha with me! And he will no longer be Goshenka, but Tamagoshenka! Ha ha ha! Hrum-Thrum!
Sn. Guess the riddle well!
Who goes all over the earth
Does he give gifts to everyone?
Brings joy to children
This - …
Hrum. This is my flight! Krum - rum! Fuck - drums! And everyone is happy!
D.m. No, no one is happy to see you! You are a space pirate!
Sn. Gives gifts to everyone on the glorious holiday - New Year!
D.m. You lost, you didn’t solve anything!
Get out quickly, evil space spy!
Hrum. I’ll catch Gosha anyway, because he’s good! He will make an obedient Tomagotchi. Khrum - Khrum!
D.m. You won't succeed! Don't be afraid Gosh, come out! (game "Cat and mouse")
Sn. Cats - mice, mice - cats - can't catch Hrum - Truma Goshki!
(he stops the game with a gesture, waves his hand and throws a bag-suit, decorated with stars and foil balls, over Khrum’s head - the scary pirate turns into a New Year tree)
D.m. He became a green tree - an evil space spy!
Hrum. Needles are growing on me...
Listen, friends,
The Forest Raised a Christmas Tree -
And this tree is me!
I was once terrible
Space villain
Now I want to go to the party
Make the children happy!
Together.
He used to be very nasty
I used to be very angry
But now it’s smart - yes!
And so polite!
Hrum. I used to be shameless
Space Pirate,
Now I have become a Christmas tree
And very, very happy!
Together.
It's so good that the Christmas tree
She came to us for the holiday
And a New Year's song
I brought it for the kids!
(mysterious cosmic music and calling voices are heard from somewhere far away: “Gosh-ah! Son-ok! Home-oh!”
Gosh. This is my dad and mom found! That's why they will be happy when they find out that the evil Khrum - Trum has become a green Christmas tree! And this miracle was performed by earthly kindness! And my saucer boat was repaired!
Sn. Today a big New Year's miracle happened - kindness won! And small miracles are still on the way.
D.m. They can happen to each of us - if we are cheerful and kind, friends!
Happy New Year!
Summary:
The first action takes place on the planet Orion, which is acutely short of water. two aliens, after drinking water from an unknown source, turned into girls. The scientific council of the planet decides that only Russian moonshine on planet earth can help them. And, the newly baked girls go to earth and end up in the bathhouse, where fellow employees gathered before March 8th. Our men, of course, will help the aliens........gradually the action moves on to congratulating women on the holiday
Characters:
Men from the planet Orion. (3-4 people)
Snickers - Two men who later turned into girls
Men of planet Earth in the sauna (in sheets, with brooms, in steam room caps)
Kuzmich
Act one.
There is a meeting on the planet Orion. The meeting room must have a computer and a screen for projecting images.
1st alien: -The situation on the planet remains difficult. Water supplies are running out; it may last for a maximum of six months. And the search for it all over the planet has not yet brought tangible results.
2nd alien: - Message received from Snickers.
1st alien: -Turn on
The screen lights up, on the screen there are two aliens (Snickers) in helmets near a drilling rig (it is necessary to make a video recording near similar equipment)
1st Snickers: -Eat. There is water. Transparent.
2nd alien: - Just don’t drink without testing.
2nd Snickers-Yes, we already tried it, it’s delicious.
The connection is suddenly interrupted.
3rd alien: -What's there? Why was the connection interrupted? Second, find out the situation?
The second one tries to communicate via the computer, but nothing works.
2nd alien: - -I’ll go to the backup communication source and find out. Leaves.
1st alien: - What could have happened there?
The second one returns.
2nd alien: - The trouble is, with our Snickers, a mutation occurred due to the ingestion of untested water. As a result of metagenesis, the dinB gene encoded an error-prone DNA polymerase and they turned into women.
1st alien: - Let’s punish them for arbitrariness, for violating safety regulations.
3rd alien: - What do we do?
2nd alien: - A living cell in some cases is capable of not only regulating the rate of mutation of its genome, but also effectively coping with the harmful effects of the resulting mutations, with the help of chaperones, which can sometimes help even a “spoiled” protein fold correctly. We must look for such chaperones, we have them no. (*from the point of view of genetic biology, this is, of course, complete nonsense, but just right for a laugh)
1st alien: - Third, organize a search through the system of interplanetary information space.
The third one taps the computer keys. Looking for. And screams
3rd alien: - Yes, I found it. Sings.
You can download the backing track here: http://plus-msk.ru/download.php?id=848
Earth in the porthole Earth in the porthole The ground is visible through the porthole Moonshine is distilled there, moonshine is brewed there Only she can help us in trouble This is an earthly drug, this is an earthly drug There Sneakers should be taken inside And they will become men again and they will become men again There at the same moment, there at the same moment again And there is still something there that we need so much There is water on that planet everywhere We will send them there on a visit of friendship and we will conclude a contract for a year. Snickers comes in already in the guise of girls. 2nd alien: - Well, unfortunate drillers. We told you not to try the water without analysis. 3rd alien: - It’s good that we found a panacea for this mutation. 1st alien: - Fly to planet Earth. There you need to drink moonshine. After which you will be men again. But besides this, you must conclude an agreement with the earthlings for the supply of water. It's clear? Snickers: - It's clear. 3rd alien: -Now we will determine the exact coordinates of the place on earth where there is moonshine within a radius of 100 m. Fly to the place and look there. Go. Act two. Men in the bathhouse, having fun with beer and vodka.Download the free backing track http://plus-msk.ru/download.php?id=7590
The eighth of March is around the corner again
And again we face only problems
Decorate women's leisure time
And he can definitely sing something to them
It's time to please just once a year
Let them laugh at us at this hour
Bye-bye-let's show them the show today
Just let them not judge us harshly
You need to congratulate women “C'est la vie”
And wish them happiness and good luck
But what is happiness without love?
Men are needed here even more so
It's time to rejoice in your lifetime
Such a handsome man, such a man
When, when, when will you see this again?
Our man is in full juice.
It's time, it's time, let's rejoice in our lifetime
We sauna and steam and strong beer
Poma-poma-waving an oak broom
We will whisper to fate more than once “Mercy to the side”
1st:-Okay, guys. 2nd:- Pour it They drink. 1st:-Yes, everything is fine, but the holiday is just around the corner, the women need to be congratulated. 3rd:-Not women, but women. 1st:-Yes, but to come up with something like that. 4th:-Come on guys, think, think. 3rd:-Or maybe one more, to help you think better. 2nd:--Pour it. They pour it again and drink it. Suddenly there is stomping, noise and Snickers girls burst into the bathhouse 1st:--Wow. Girls, where are you from? Alien girls sing: Here you can download the backing track: http://plus-msk.ru/download.php?id=5678We were guys on our planet too
Women loved us, and how we loved them
Once on the ill-fated day we drank some water
It so happened that everyone now needs a groom 2 r
And we became girls, cherished friends
And we have to wear bras and tights
Oh! If only they knew what a torment it is
Walk steadily on a high stiletto heel 2 p
We do makeup and hair styling
We collected cosmetics from all our relatives
We buy tampons and pads at the pharmacy
And, of course, we suffer on critical days 2 r
And so we flew here to meet fate
We want to return home so badly as men
Pour some moonshine, what are you really doing?
Do you really feel sorry for the fire water? 2 r
1st Snickers: - We came from the planet Orion to you for help. You have some kind of drug called moonshine, we need to use it to return to men. 2nd Snickers: -We would like a little bit. Science has proven that moonshine contains chaperones, with the help of which living cell in some cases, it is capable of not only regulating the rate of mutation of its genome, but also effectively coping with the harmful effects of the resulting mutations. 1st Snickers: - They wrapped it up! Have you heard, guys, what properties our moonshine has! 2nd:- Well, we don’t have moonshine now, we drink vodka over there 1st Snickers: - They targeted us. 2nd Snickers: -They said there is definitely food within a radius of 100 m.. 1st:- Guys, there definitely is. Kuzmich lives nearby, he drives, I know. 3rd:-Well, call him and let him drag the girls, ugh, that is, the boys need to be helped out. Come sit down with us, little ones. 1st:-Or maybe you won’t rush, just be girls and entertain us. Snickers (shy away): -No, we should quickly become men. 4th:-Well, let's call your Kuzmich quickly. Yes, let him grab more, we will also take this medicine. 1st: -(Takes phone and dials number)-Hello, Kuzmich, hello, tramp. Do you have moonshine? Come on, bring us to the bathhouse. But just give us first-aid, and more. No, don’t worry, everyone here is your own, well, you know me. He'll come now. Kuzmich arrives with a liter bottle of moonshine Kuzmich: - Great, guys. 1st:- Great, Kuzmich. Well done, you're fast. 2nd:- Well, guys and girls, come on over. ( Pours a full glass) 2nd Snickers: -Oh! that's probably a lot 1st Snickers: - We would like a little bit. 2nd:- Why waste time on trifles, we definitely need a glass, and you and I will accept the first meal. 3rd: - Eh, it went well. Kuzmich, you are a master. The distilled moonshine is good. 1st Snickers: -Oh! My head is already spinning! 2nd Snickers: -Ugh, what disgusting. The lights go out or the curtain falls. At this time, Snickers must quickly change clothes and become men again. 1st Snickers: -Did it really work? 2nd Snickers:-Hurray, we are men again. Thank you. 1st:- Yes, you were better girls. 3rd: - Let's go to the table, guys. Let's talk and establish contact. Pour it up, Kuzmich. Kuzmich:-We're fast. Spills. 2nd: - Well, tell us how your life is on your planet. 1st Snickers: -We have problems. Water supplies are running out. 2nd Snickers:-You obviously have problems with this here. Our baths are prohibited. A law has been introduced to limit water consumption, all its expenses are strictly limited only to essential needs. 1st Snickers: -Can’t we conclude a contract with you for the supply of water? 1st:- No problem. Only delivery by your transport. 2nd Snickers:-That suits us. What do you want in return? 1st:-In return? Interest Ask? In return, let's take excursions to your planet to exchange experiences. 1st Snickers:- We think this option will suit us. 1st: - Hands down then.3rd: - This needs to be washed. Kuzmich, pour it!
2nd: And you have holidays on the planet. Well, for example, March 8 is Women's Day. Women should be congratulated.
1st Snickers: We have few holidays, but we do have Women’s Day - it’s called Matriarchy. On this day, all women have the right to fulfill any one desire and men have no right to refuse them. Naturally, all these desires should not go beyond reasonable limits regarding changes in the government system and the security of the planet and violation of property rights.
3rd: Wow. Imagine, Petrovich! On March 8, your wife will ask for a yacht or a diamond necklace for a million dollars. Think about it.
2nd Snickers: Yes, a yacht and a necklace and even sex with another (free) man - all this can be requested by our women on Matriarchy Day.
1st: And you give your women festive performances
1st Snickers: Only if this is their desire for the Matriarchy holiday, but they often have other desires.
2nd: Yes. We wanted to ask for advice on how we can congratulate women. Bummer.
2nd: Listen. I figured it out. Let’s just congratulate our women with flowers and give them invitations to the first excursion in the history of the earth to the planet Orion for the Matriarchy holiday (addresses the aliens). I hope, within the framework of our agreement, you don’t mind. We give you water, you give us excursions.
1st Snickers: Certainly. We agree.
3rd: Great, guys, let's send women into space and let them get divorced. And we will rest here without them.
The final song of all performing men.
You can download the backing track here http://plus-msk.ru/download.php?id=1664 We like all the women in the world Blondes or brunettes don't matter We admit, without wasting words, What we decided for ourselves a long time ago For lovely ladies, for lovely ladies Our first toast here and there Without nice ladies, without nice ladies We don’t know how to live the day For lovely ladies, for lovely ladies we will do everything here and there And your ticket to Orion we don't feel sorry Men give women flowers and colorful comic invitations to the planet Orion for the Matriarchy holiday.