Bipolar personality disorder (manic-depressive psychosis) is a mental disorder characterized by frequent mood swings and changes in energy. One of the main signs of the disease, in addition to problems with social adaptation, loss of sense of time and increased tendency to suicide, is an alternating combination of phases of “mania” and “depression.” Symptoms of mania include euphoria, increased performance, insomnia, pressure to speak, and an excessive sense of self-importance. Depression is expressed in sadness, loss of interest in others, a pessimistic view of the future and obsessive thoughts.
How does the excerpt describing mental illness relate to rap? Direct, because this is a description of the diagnosis of Oxford University student Miron Fedorov, the future performer of MC Oksimiron.
I knew my diagnosis in advance - spontaneous combustion.
The doctor said: “Manic depression!
In the song “Spontaneous Combustion” from the album “The Eternal Jew” in 2008, Oxy already addressed the topic of his illness, which, however, never stopped him from performing and “raising rap from his knees”: numerous tracks, rap battles, new albums, performances . In a series of new events and headlines, the rapper’s listeners remember his mental disorder erased from memory, so the track “Bipolarochka”, published on September 14, became a revelation for many fans...
We ask in vain: give us all here more than just an overnight stay (not sleepy vegetation in routine, but something more, spiritual, being with meaning, ed.)
And the nomad is waiting for the light of the tavern to blink
We are the ones who sacrifice everything to the onlookers here.
You start listening - and the thought flashes through your head that the performer’s voice seems to be similar to Oxy, but sounds different: there is no longer the energy and charge that we are used to hearing in all tracks, regardless of the “filling”. The patient's suppressed voice, as if after a dose of strong narcotic substances. Obviously, this is the notorious “depressive phase”. “Chills and jet lag” – loss of temporary sensation, as when changing time zones. The thought of a “gravestone” on which the year of death is already inscribed. Complaints about the difficult life of the “conqueror” of Russian rap, who, like the hero of “The Lord of the Rings,” throws the “ring of omnipotence” into the mouth of a volcano.
“What in return?” Myron asks himself. What is it for? What kind of payoff does our hero get for “sacrificing everything”? Oksimiron never sought fame in the primitive sense of the word, always condemning those (like ST) who participate in battles to advertise their albums and increase concert attendance (“But I’m not trying to outdo my opponent, but my own achievements from the past battle"); That’s why it turns out to be offensive - in the course of self-analysis - both his own desire to earn money, to break out from the bottom, and his performance on the show “Evening Urgant” on Channel One (isn’t it for PR?).
Part two: Self-examination of the unfortunate clown
Oks, what are you on?
You have everything you could ever dream of, underground rap player,
You grew up from the rabble, instead of calmly enjoying the ups -
Again a deplorable text.
In the second part of the track the rhythm speeds up. Oxy moves from a “slow flow” to a quick reading and assessment of his persona by the listener. “What would a fan from the province say if he heard all this?” — Myron seems to be asking himself. Why these complaints? Yes, he has everything, he has achieved the very heights of Russian rap: money, wealth, fame; his tracks are memorized, battles with his participation gain record views. You can relax and have fun, but here – “deplorable text”. Does he understand that the way his surroundings live - whether in St. Petersburg or Moscow - is the dream of all residents of the regions? Poor cities and villages, literally surviving on miserable wages and pensions. Drunkenness and drug addiction. Pseudo-social state. “Our alcohol is cheaper than a textbook.” Yes, if Oxy continues his whining after this, then he is not the “king of Russian rap”, but simply a “sucker like Chandler” - an insecure and weak-willed character from the American TV series “Friends”, hiding his insignificant nature behind sarcastic humor.
Part three: “I waited a year to give up the throne”
Here Oksimiron again “takes the floor” and refutes his own words. “Yes, okay, they may be right, but don’t rush,” “the boys drew conclusions too early.” Besides happy life, overflowing with bright emotions and successful performances, there is also a negative: problems with objective self-esteem, loss of the original mood against the backdrop of the death of friends and a girlfriend - in intensive care. Here it is, a tweet from the account on September 9:
I didn't disappear, guys. It’s just that a big misfortune happened to a loved one, compared to which everything else is such nonsense. But I'm here.
Nerves. Constant mood swings. Fear of making a mistake and losing the faith of fans when “your every step is under a microscope.” Let us recall again the lines of the battle with ST - this is quite appropriate, since, as I already noted, Oksimiron uses battles exclusively to express his thoughts and ideas, simultaneously voicing fears and doubts:
Oksimiron (Oxxxymiron, real name Miron Fedorov) is a well-known and revered rapper in Russia and abroad, in at a young age emigrated to Germany. He became famous for his extraordinary polysyllabic rhymes, rather witty metaphors and high vocabulary. He is considered an innovator of the grime genre in Russia.But the defeat from the Glory of the CPSU and the “given throne” - now we understand this from the words of Miron himself - gave some relief, removed the burden of responsibility, first of all, to himself. In the end, everyone gets tired of “fucking everyone in the mouth.”
Here Oxy makes a reference to his past - the distant shores of Foggy Albion, the “drifting island”, where there was nothing to lose, because it was impossible to find a job in England as a philologist - even an Oxford graduate. Hence the relaxation, simplicity, lightness: “You catch it out of thin air, you bully adults.” And immediately back to today: pressure from the crowd, an internal desire to give up everything, a frankly inflated sense of responsibility (“still MC, Big Boss,” CEO - boss, chief executive officer).
Oxford graduate, no one cares
You are above the abyss in the rye, above the abyss of the rye.Oksimiron feels like a sort of Holden Kielfield, the hero of J. Salinger's novel "". Thinking about his future and choice of profession, the teenager admits that he would like to catch small children playing in the rye in the evening on the edge of a huge abyss so that they do not fall down. However, throughout the entire novel, Holden himself hangs over the abyss, because he is in an unequal confrontation with the outside world and its hypocritical values. So Oxy - as an “eternal teenager”, the only “adult” among the “small” MCs - extols his uniqueness and exclusivity and at the same time admits that he has never found any other use for himself in life. The lines of the track “Ivory Tower” immediately come to mind:
After all, they twisted it into a knot the mighty of the world this.
So much so that stress, boiling, running, Quidditch.
I used to think that thirty was the end.
But I'm here, see?Part four: “My bipolar”
The ending of the song again testifies to Oksimiron’s nervousness, which is degenerating into a kind of “persecution mania”: “MC are friends against each other, circling and wandering. There are already round dances around my carcass,” as if every rapper is waiting for his “sunset.” This is an internal feeling; It is impossible to say from the outside how justified this is. It is curious that Myron continues the idea that he is the same living person and also feels pain like everyone else, through the oxymoron - “a living corpse.”
In the last verse, the performer concludes that he – in a global sense – “doesn’t give a damn about anyone”, again focusing on the fact that “he was a schoolboy with glasses”, but became a cool rapper. Entering mania again?
If you evaluate the entire track as a whole and ask yourself: “How will it influence further creativity?”, then after some thought the answer comes: “Basically, not at all.” “Bipolar” is unlikely to be performed at a concert: it is impossible to deliberately put yourself into such a depressive state. Even with a real diagnosis.
Oxxymiron spoke about painful issues. “I went crazy.” Calmed down. And he continued to write tracks and prepare for the first international, Russian-American rap battle with MC Dizaster.
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Childhood of Miron Fedorov. Education and first creativity
Miron was born in one of the Leningrad maternity hospitals on January 31, 1985. The now famous rapper comes from an ordinary intelligent family: Miron’s father was a physics professor, and his mother was a librarian. For the first 4 years he studied at Leningrad school No. 185, after which his father was offered a place at one of the universities in Germany, and the family moved to the German town of Ruttenscheid. 
Finding yourself in a foreign environment without knowledge German language It was difficult for Myron. At the prestigious school named after Maria Wechtler, where he studied, he was humiliated by his classmates, who came from wealthy families. He subsequently spoke about his attitude towards this difficult period in the song “ Last call" It was rap that became the anchor of salvation that helped the 13-year-old teenager overcome ridicule and bullying. He composed his first works under the pseudonym MC Myth.
MC Myth – “Al Ogon” (2000)
At the age of 15, the guy changed his place of residence again - he moved to English city Slough, which in those days was firmly established as one of the drug trafficking centers in Britain. According to Miron’s recollections, among the local kids there were many “chavs”, drug addicts and outcasts, but what about the local school? young man I have only pleasant memories.
It was the teacher who taught history there who noticed the boy's potential and insisted that he apply to Oxford. At that time, the most prestigious university in the country seemed mythically inaccessible to Miron; Among the other applicants in 2004, despite his good erudition and a decent certificate, he seemed to himself to be an “uncouth peasant.” This was due to imperfect knowledge of the language, a German accent, and the lack of any social or sporting achievements. Apparently, due to his innate stubbornness, Miron chose the Faculty of English Literature, specializing in “Literature of the Middle Ages,” and still entered - during the course he was surrounded by native Englishmen from the “top of society.”
In 2006, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, as a result of which Miron was expelled from the university. However, he recovered and eventually graduated from Oxford, but his diploma grades were the lowest possible.
After graduation, Miron rented an apartment on the outskirts of London - this period of life is also often mentioned in his works - and tried to get a job, but it quickly became clear that without necessary connections this is not easy even for an Oxford graduate, especially with such an unclaimed specialty and low grades. As a result, he got a job in construction - this decision was not easy, but he needed money to support his family and realize his creative ambitions. Subsequently, he changed many professions - he worked as a tutor, guide, entertainer, worked in an office, unloaded trucks, and even for some time was a “literary black man.”
The beginning of Oksimiron's musical career
Miron “appeared” on the radar of the general public around 2008 - at this time he began posting his demo recordings on the Internet. By this time, he had taken the pseudonym Oxxxymiron, which was a reference, firstly, to his real name, secondly, to the literary term “oxymoron”, and the triple “x” referred to the generous use of obscene language in his tracks. 
In 2009, he took part in the 14th independent hip-hop battle from the HipHop.ru project, where he created a real sensation - his tracks in the rounds “In the Country of Women”, “No Communication” and “Magician’s Box” were recognized as the best among those performed as part of the battle of compositions. He also won in the categories “Best Sparring”, “Breakthrough of the Battle” and “Best MC of the Battle”. Oxxxymiron reached the semi-finals of the hip-hop tournament, where he met with rapper Chest. The latter won, which caused the indignation of many listeners, who considered Oksimiron a much more worthy opponent.
After winning the battle, representatives of the Russian-language recording label Optik Records from Germany drew attention to Oksimiron. This is exactly how Oxxxymiron and Schokk (Dmitry Hinter) met, which resulted in a fruitful, but short-lived creative union.
Oxxxymiron's first solo album. Vagabund
In the summer of 2010, Oksimiron broke off relations with OptikRusha due to personal contradictions. Together with Schokk and another performer known under the pseudonym Vanya Lenin, Miron created his own label “Vagabund” (translated as “tramp”, “wanderer”). As part of this working alliance, he released his first album, “The Eternal Jew,” which gained wild popularity among the Russian-speaking audience and the “Discovery of the Year” nomination from GQ magazine.Oxxxymiron – “Tumbler”
Together with Shock, Oksimiron went on a long tour of the CIS countries, but soon there was a rift in the team due to a clash with rapper Roma Zhigan. After the quarrel, Shock left for Germany, and Oksimiron gave a free solo concert in Moscow, after which he went to London.
For some time he “went underground”, but in 2012 he presented fans with his first mixtape “miXXXtape I”, a year later the next one was released – “miXXXtape II: The Long Way Home”.
During this period, he also actively collaborated with a number of prominent Western artists, including Canadian rapper Madchild and Germans Automatikk.
Oksimiron participated several times in promising domestic project Versus is a hip-hop battle, where participants read their “disses” against the enemy without a beat, and the text of the speeches is prepared in advance and read out in three rounds. His opponents were rappers Dunya, Krip-a-Krip, Johnnyboy - and each time he won an unconditional victory, as the audience said, “flawless victory.”
Versus: Oxxxymiron VS Johnnyboy
The release of Oksimiron's second solo album was postponed since 2012 and finally took place in November 2015. The record, called “Gorgorod,” was a complete conceptual work telling the story of a writer named Mark, and therefore recommended for listening in strict order of compositions, of which there were 11 in the album.
In 2016, Oxxxymiron conducted two big tours: “Takeover tour” and “Back to Europe Tour”, and also participated in the recording of three joint compositions with rapper Porchy.
In June 2016, Versus Oxxxymiron vs. took place. The video of their battle was posted on Youtube on June 19, and just three days later the number of views exceeded 5 million.
Versus: Oxxxymiron VS ST
In August 2017, Oksimiron’s long-awaited rap battle with battle MC Gnoyny took place. At the end of three rounds, all five judges voted for Gnoyny.
Versus X SlovoSPB. Oksimiron VS Purulent
A month later, the rapper broke his one-and-a-half-year silence and presented a new track, “Bipolarochka,” which he wrote and recorded in one night.
On October 15, Oksimiron clashed with his colleague from the USA, the famous battle MC Dizaster (real name Bashir Yagami). The verbal duel took place in Los Angeles. The opponents read on English language, for Russian viewers the text was dubbed with subtitles. It is noteworthy that Dizaster was the first to show interest in the Russian rapper, impressed by the multimillion-dollar number of views that the battle between Oksimiron and Johnnyboy collected.
Oksimiron opened his first round with words from Alexey Balabanov’s film “Brother-2”: “Tell me, American, what is strength?” Oksimiron succinctly described his impressions of the battle on his Twitter: “I’m dropping the West, ooh.” Another entry appeared on Disaster’s Twitter: “Oksimiron, you were great!”
Personal life of Oksimiron
Oksimiron does not like to comment on his personal life in the press. It is known that he was married, but divorced. In 2014, fans attributed his relationship with a girl named Sonya Grese, as many joint photos appeared online, indicating a close relationship between them. Subsequently (during the battle with Gnoyny) he denied this information. The question of whether Oksimiron has a girlfriend is still of great interest to the rapper’s many fans. 
Oksimiron now
Oksimiron publicly supported a series of opposition protests in the wake of the exclusion of independent candidates from the Moscow City Duma elections in July-August 2019. 
At the end of August, the rapper announced that he was leaving Booking Machine, whose head he had been for seven years. He also hinted that he would probably stop touring.
Bipolar- Oksimiron’s song, which he released in September 2017 after a year and a half break. Immediately after this, the abbreviated name for bipolar disorder became fashionable among teenagers listening to the rapper, and formed a small subculture around them.
Origin
Rapper Oxxxymiron September 14, 2017 released new track “Bipolarochka”. He tweeted that he recorded and mixed it in one night.
Since 2015, when the album “Gorgorod” was released, Oksimiron has not had new songs. In “Bipolar” we're talking about about the life of a rapper, problems with press attention, fatigue and the death of friends. In addition, the text contains a hint of a battle with Slava CPSU, to whom Oksimiron lost with a score of 5:0 in August.
Lyrics of the song “Bipolar”
Abs, chills and jetlag are fucking my brains out again
Stick your badge and questions up your ass, Sherlock
We give rap a part of ourselves, like Tosin djent
We mow down the cache without wiping away our tears, the year is inscribed on the tombstone
We ask in vain: give us all here more than just an overnight stay
And like a nomad, the tavern light is waiting for the light to blink
We are the ones who sacrifice everything to the onlookers here.
Those who carry a ring around their neck and throw it into the mouth
What in return? My friend, what in return?
What is the bitter bread of people's love - banter at the evening show
When you're poor you expect all the dreams from a big check, but
Where do you go when the check doesn’t save you like medicinal juice?
“Ox, what are you on?
You have everything an underground rapper could dream of
You grew up from the rabble, instead of calmly enjoying the ups -
Again a deplorable text, check how we live,
Probably no one lives like this with you
Our alcohol is cheaper than a textbook.
So if you whine you suck like Chandler
It's bigger than you, bigger than
Your self-examination of a worthless clown,
Man, remember, you and I have been walking in step for a hundred years
Side by side for a hundred years we walked along the road to our dreams
From the depot to the final one. How to lie low
For a couple more years, it’s better to move away from this crap.
“Listen, Jew, you’re not going to last forever.
Come on, get your act together! Why are you so gentle?”
The truth is yours, but you seem
It’s too early to draw conclusions from it, guys,
I lost myself in a year and a half.
Friends: two are dead, the third is in intensive care.
Every step I take is under a microscope
And real talk, if I made a mistake at least once, that’s it
I waited a year to give up the throne
Monomakh's hat is heavy, I'm tired of fucking everyone in the mouth
The age when you start and that’s just it,
You catch it out of thin air and bully adults.
Do you remember? My home was a drifting island
Of property only the future and air?
Nothing to write - “Oxy, grow your hair”
I've gone completely bald in three years in the media.
And I would like to leave, but I’m letting my friends down
They don’t give you scraps of honor and conscience
And from the oral cavity
We need a new verse and flow plastid
Seems like a pop artist, but still an MC
Big boss, CEO, who feeds the team
Good son, he’s the same guy on the board
Oxford graduate, no one cares
You are over the abyss in the rye, over the abyss in the rye
On Crowley's hand is the motto, God forgives.
MCs are friends against each other, circling and wandering
There are already round dances around my carcass
But I, a living corpse, am choked by flesh
And if you stab me, I’ll tear my tummy
So sing the gypsy song
It became unclear what, there was a schoolboy with glasses
But I'm not fucking sad, I don't care
Because my bipolar girl loves me
Oksimiron's fans enthusiastically accepted the song. A day later, the word “Bipolarochka” flooded Russian-language Twitter, and dozens of people even changed the names of their accounts to this word. And although not all fans fully understand the severity of the disease, many of them began to apply quotes from “Bipolar” to their teenage suffering.
Quite quickly it became a fashionable word, and, like everything fashionable, this phenomenon had its haters. Those who are familiar with the manifestations of real bipolar first-hand are indignant about this.
We can say that the passion for the song has already short term form a small subculture. Already now, the dominance of similar posts a la “my bipolar girl loves me” is reminiscent of the era of “vanilla” or emo. Oksimiron's fans are actively looking for signs of bipolar disorder in order to somehow be closer to their idol.
Meaning
The word “bipolar” is an abbreviation for “bipolar affective disorder,” which is also called manic-depressive disorder. In people with this disease, the state of mania is replaced by depression, sometimes there are periods mental health. To treat the disorder, you need to take a significant number of medications.
Oksimiron was diagnosed with bipolar disorder while he was studying at Oxford. During his illness, he was expelled from the university, but recovered and graduated from the university.
After the release of the track, “bipolar” began to symbolize any blues and depression, although these are different concepts. In some cases, you can also find the transfer of words to inanimate objects.
Gallery
Friends! Please note: in order to correctly correct the lyrics of the song, you must highlight at least two words
Chords. Whole song chords: G#m C#m. Comfortable tonality: +1
[Verse 1, Oxxxymiron]:
Again, brain-fuck abs, chills and jetlag.
Stick your badge and questions up your ass, Sherlock!
We give rap a part of ourselves, like Tosin gives a djent.
We mow down the cache without wiping away our tears; The year is inscribed on the tombstone.
We ask in vain: “Give us all here more than just a place to stay for the night!”
And that the nomad is waiting for this, the light of the tavern will blink.
We are the ones who sacrifice everything to the onlookers here -
Those who carry a ring around their neck and throw it into the mouth.
What in return? My friend, what in return? What?
People's love - bitter bread, banter on the "Evening" show?
When you're poor, you expect all the dreams from a big check, but
Where do you go when the check doesn’t save you like medicinal juice?
[Verse 2, Oxxxymiron]:
Oks, what are you on? You have everything -
What an underground rapper could only dream of.
You grew up from the rabble, instead of calmly
Rejoicing in takeoffs is again a deplorable text.
Check out how we live -
Probably no one lives like this with you,
And here alcohol is cheaper than a textbook -
So if you whine, you suck like Chandler.
It's bigger than you! More than
Your self-examination of a worthless clown.
Man, remember, you and I have been walking in step for a hundred years,
Side by side for a hundred years we walked along the road to our dream from the DEPOT to the final one.
Why lie low for another couple of years -
Better move away from this crap.
Listen, Jew, you’re not going to last forever.
Come on, get yourself together! Why are you so gentle?
[Verse 3, Oxxxymiron]:
Your truth, but I think it’s too early
You guys drew your own conclusions from it.
I lost myself in a year and a half;
Two friends are dead, the third is in intensive care.
Every step I take is under a microscope.
And real talk, if you make a mistake at least once - that’s it
I waited a year to give up the throne.
Monomakh's hat is heavy.
I'm tired of fucking everyone in the mouth!
The age when you start, everything is simple;
You catch everything out of thin air and bully adults.
Remember, my home was a drifting island; -
Of property only the future and air?
There is no point in writing: “Oxy, grow your hair!” -
After three years in the media, I went completely bald.
And I would like to leave, but I’m letting my friends down
They don’t give you scraps of honor and conscience.
[Verse 4, Oxxxymiron]:
And from the oral cavity it would be necessary
New verse and let the flow be plastid!
Seems like a pop artist, but still an MC
Big Boss C.E.O., who feeds the team.
Good son, his name is the same type,
Oxford graduate - no one gives a fuck.
You are above the abyss in the rye, above the abyss of the rye.
The motto on Crowley's arm is "God forgives."
MCs are friendly against; circling, wandering -
They are already dancing around my carcass.
But I am a living corpse, my flesh is strangling me,
And if you stab me, I’ll tear my tummy.
Like Leisya, song, gypsy girl.
It became unclear what, there was a schoolboy with glasses;
But I’m not sad, nigga, I don’t give a damn -
After all, my bipolar loves me.
About the song Oxxxymiron - Bipolar
- After a year and a half of waiting (or, to be precise, 511 days according to Levon Saribekyan’s website), Oksimiron releases the single “Bipolarochka”. Quote: “I haven’t released anything for so long that I forgot how and where to upload it - so I’m counting on folk craftsmen!” The work was written and recorded on the night from September 13th to September 14th, 2017 at the production company BluntCath, which rapper GUF “rinsed” in his track To Clean in August. The song was recorded and mixed by London beatmaker, MC and singer of Portuguese origin Porchi (real name Dario Vieira).
It is worth noting that the composition is quite depressing in nature (some admirers of Miron’s work compared the content no less than Confession). The very name “Bipolar” means manic-depressive psychosis, which is what Oxxxymiron actually talks about, remembering all the events that happened to him over the past Lately. The text also makes reference to the death of one of the group leaders
You can have different attitudes towards Russian rap (or not at all – as, for example, I did until last week), but this is a phenomenon more than worthy of attention.
When about your mental disorder a person who is listened to by millions speaks frankly, this greatly influences people’s attitude towards the diagnosis in general. And if in the USA and Europe there are many such brave people, then here Miron Fedorov is, if not the first, then one of them. Which is very typical for a “bipolar” person, after a year and a half without new products, Miron came up with and recorded the track in one night.
The official website of Oxxxymiron says: “During the course of his studies, he was expelled (from Oxford, in 2006) with a diagnosis of manic depression and was re-entered. So the title of the composition is not an artistic image at all.
But I’m a living corpse, my flesh is strangling me, and if you stab me, I’ll tear my tummy.
So sing the song, gypsy girl.
It became unclear what, there was a schoolboy with glasses.
But I’m not sad ***** [not at all – hereinafter “translation” of the author], he didn’t give a damn.
My bipolar loves me."
The quote “My bipolar loves me” became a meme in a matter of days, and teenagers continue to spread it across hundreds of accounts.
And older people write snide posts about how they were bipolar when it wasn’t “fashionable” yet. Judging by social networks, most rap fans have not thought much about the context, considering “bipolar” a fancy word like “hype.” For example, in Oksimiron’s public page with 800 thousand subscribers they write: “Come on, get out of depression and creative collapse!”
But there are also those who think seriously. “I can tell from every song whether Oxy is manic or depressed,” writes a girl with a sad avatar. And there is some truth in this. Miron’s work reveals not only his philological education, but also all the nuances of the worldview of a person who is regularly thrown from a height into the abyss and back.
A lot is about survival and struggle. Fight against yourself, your own craving for self-destruction
I knew my diagnosis in advance - spontaneous combustion.
The doctor said, “Manic depression!”
("Spontaneous combustion")
Mirona throws up from depressive hopelessness:
Brown's movement through dirty dens.
There are either clowns or clones around – there are millions of them.
Gray days gray people like gray dust
They settle on my gray convolutions.
(“I'm bored with life”)
...to the point of manic frenzy:
Kitties, kitties, kitties, kitties all around, I am a March cat!
….This is probably my paradise!
("Madness")
But all the joys of his life are mixed with pain:
And why this pain from the experiment?
I don't even have the will to be disobedient.
I don’t understand why it hit me specifically -
But it covered me specifically and, presumably, for a long time.
("Girl** [femme fatale]")
I know the virgins will lead to problems,
But your *** under the hairdryer and ibuprofen;
When ****** [finished] he burst into tears...
("Spontaneous combustion")
And between these poles are melancholy, apathy and despair:
Live, people run back and forth, only their heels sparkle.
These people always know what to do, but I'm bored.
Life is boring, life is boring, I have nothing to do and therefore it’s boring.
Living is boring, living is boring, living.
(“I'm bored with life”)
I need a doctor, better at home and immediately!
Watson, Freud, Kurpatov, Pepper.
The horizon became clouded and a window slammed somewhere.
By *** [it doesn’t matter] who, but give me light: God or fiber optics.
("Signs of life")
The good thing about “fashion” is that it eliminates stigma. People stop being afraid of their condition and considering it something shameful
Myron has verses about almost all the symptoms of bipolar life. For example, about the feeling of one’s own grandiosity:
For you it's cool - heaven or hell,
Drugs are a gap, and sometimes it’s so creepy,
It felt like I was starring as Jesus in a movie about the New Testament!
(“Thoughts dirty the brain”)
...and about racing thoughts
I... I can't convey
What's in my skull of TV shows.
I'm back, hold on peace!
("Signs of life")
A lot is about survival, about struggle. With whom, with what? Miron grew up in the family of a university teacher and librarian, studied in a good British school, then at Oxford. This means that it is about the struggle with oneself, one’s own craving for self-destruction.
I lost myself in a year and a half, friends: two are dead, the third is in intensive care.
(“Bipolar”)
I'm alive, thanks to fortune!
I balance across chasms on stilts.
I walk, stooping, and jumping up and down like a fool,
Through fate and storms, to the elusive Ultima Thule.
("Ivory tower")
About this anxious-depressive “everything is in place, but something is wrong”:
Oks, what are you on? You have everything an underground rapper could dream of,
You have risen from the rabble, instead of calmly enjoying the ups, again a deplorable text.
(“Bipolar”)
It’s interesting that his nickname itself is about a combination of incongruous things. Manic depression is also an oxymoron.
It is not surprising that impressionable fans, after listening to these rather gloomy recitatives, will find certain symptoms. (I myself felt seriously uneasy after two albums in a row.)
But “fashion” definitely has good side: It destroys stigma. More people will cease to be afraid of his condition, to consider it something that needs to be hidden with shame.
It will be easier for them to explain their characteristics to others. If in England they usually say about someone they know with bipolar disorder: “Oh, it’s like Stephen Fry”, in the USA - “well, Demi Lovato too,” then now we have a recognizable face who has received the diagnosis.
And people will finally be able to ask for help. After all, it doesn’t even occur to many that their problem is not laziness and irresponsibility, but a disease that has a cure. So Myron’s frankness about his balancing over the abyss may well save someone’s life.
about the author
Masha Pushkina– journalist, editor of bipolar.su, author of the book “Bipolar People: How People with Bipolar Disorder Live and Dream” (Publishing Solutions, Ridero, 2017).