Among the common superstitions is this: you cannot baptize the first girl unmarried girls. Let's try to understand the reasons for this superstition and find out whether it is actually possible to baptize the first girl. We will also give the opinion of the Russian Orthodox Church (Russian Orthodox Church) on this matter.
Why can't the first girl be baptized?
There are two explanations for this: one is really from the realm of superstition, but the second is quite realistic, with which we will begin. It is believed that a young unmarried girl does not yet have enough life experience to be a full-fledged godmother for the baby, to truly take care of her if something happens. However, it is worth noting here that, firstly, all people are different: some are already quite mature by the age of 20 in order to take care of others, while others remain mere children even at 50. That is why, if a girl is serious and wants to be a godmother, and the baby’s mother also agrees, there is and cannot be any obstacle to her desire. Another thing is that christenings are often not taken seriously, they do not realize that this is a responsible matter, because, in essence, we become responsible for the fate of the baby.
The second explanation relates to the area of superstition. Allegedly, if a young unmarried woman or girl becomes a godmother for a little girl, this means that she herself will not be able to give birth and will be unhappy in her personal life. We will not argue with people who fanatically defend this point of view. Firstly, they are often deaf to the arguments of reason, and secondly, they will give you a lot of examples to prove it. So, on one of the forums I literally read the following: “There are many examples from life when godmothers, being unmarried or without children, baptized girls - and were left with either an unsettled personal life or later did not have children. I will even say: There are too many examples like this." And on the other hand: “My sister became a friend’s godmother at the age of 18. And it’s okay: she got married and gave birth to her own daughter!” - and I counted no less such examples. This suggests an obvious logical conclusion: the happiness or unhappiness of a woman who baptized a girl before her marriage does not depend in any way on the christening. There are completely different reasons at work here that are not the topic of our conversation. Therefore, the question of whether a girl can baptize her first girl should be answered not based on signs, but on her own readiness to take such a serious step.
The Church's opinion on this issue
The Church believed, believes and will continue to believe that such talk is just stupid superstitions that have nothing to do with reality. The priests say that, of course, you can baptize the first girl, nothing bad will happen to you. The only obstacle to this may be if the godfather is the young man whom the girl is going to marry. Because the godmother And Godfather will become related after the christening, relatives will no longer be able to marry. However, this only applies to weddings; there are no biological or civil prerequisites for this and there cannot be, so it all depends, again, on your superstition.
For parents of a child who have decided to perform the sacrament of baptism for their child, perhaps the main task is to choose an attorney for mom and dad. Until the very day of the ceremony, the question often arises for a girl whether she should be a married woman or not.
Traditionally, it is believed that the godmother should be chosen from singles. There is a belief: if the godmother is not married, then after the ceremony she will meet her long-awaited love. But if a girl, unfortunately, for a long time cannot get pregnant and suddenly acquires the status of godmother, then soon she herself will definitely be able to enjoy motherhood.
If the godfather is in charge worldly life child, then the godmother is called upon to guide him on his spiritual path: it was she who brought the baby into the temple, and she raises him in faith and purity.
Difficult choice
To choose a girl for the role of godmother, you can contact an ordained or simply experienced priest. Most often, a week before the priest, they talk about the sacrament itself, what things need to be purchased, and about the important role and mission that the chosen new parents have. In the end, the most important thing when choosing a godmother is not the question of her status in society, but the topic of religion. It is important that the godmother is a believer and baptized.
The godmother is obliged to buy an icon of the saint with the girl’s name and a special cloth, which is covered with kryzhma. The best kryzhma will be absolutely new fabric, symbolizing the purity of a little girl. It is believed that in the future the baby’s mother will carefully store this fabric and not show it to anyone.
A child can be baptized after 8 days from birth, but it is important to consider that a woman who has given birth cannot enter the temple for 40 days from birth.
Beliefs
But still, there are many terrible legends among the people that if the godmother did not have time to get married before the ceremony, she will give away her family happiness, but she herself will never marry happy wife. Allegedly this is why it is necessary to invite married woman, who already has a wonderful destiny and has her own family. One way or another, all these are just superstitions, and it’s up to the parents to choose who will be the godmother; the main thing is to approach the issue seriously. It is important that the person intended for the role is kind, believes in the Lord, and treats with all the responsibility entrusted to him new role. The godmother is the second mother of the child, who throughout future life will help and support him in all matters and endeavors.
There are many signs and superstitions associated with the institution of godparents. Becoming godparents, it is necessary to take care of the child, if possible, try to take part in his upbringing, but no godparents can ever do without gifts. Why is there a sign that a girl cannot be baptized first? For men, such superstitions have no strength or power, but more emotional women tend to take signs on faith and follow them folk wisdom. Here ancient signs and superstitions are intertwined: not only is it impossible to baptize a girl first, but also whether nursing mothers can drink milk, why they can’t sit on the table, why they can’t give certain things as gifts. The roots of these superstitions go back to ancient times, but you can try to figure out what’s terrible about the ban on baptizing a girl first.
According to some beliefs, you cannot baptize if the future godmother is not married and has not yet given birth. It was believed that the goddaughter would take away her godmother’s future happiness and she would not marry. There is also a belief that a girl can take over the fate of her godmother in the future. Therefore, those who are happily married should be chosen for this honorable role.
The next superstition says that if the first godson is a boy, then such a girl’s own destiny in the future will be happy. Such friends who refuse to be godparents can seriously offend young parents, who may believe in omens, but the child’s happiness is more important to them.
An interesting belief from England can be read on the Internet. It turns out that in Northern and Western England this problem arose for a completely different reason. According to medieval English superstition, a girl cannot be baptized first because the witches flying around will give her the ability to take all the hair from the second baby - a boy, and he will be without a mustache and beard for the rest of his life, which in those days was considered a sign of Satan's henchman.
Parents decide whether to believe in such signs or not. To refuse such an honorable mission as to become godmother to the child extremely shameful. After all, baptism is a sacred rite, and bad omens and superstitions are invented to justify own mistakes and failures. The Orthodox Church has never confirmed such superstitions, and not a single church minister will refuse to baptize a girl first, because it is the church that stands in the way of such signs. Therefore, you should not give up such an honorable right as becoming a godmother for fear of losing something in life. Baptism imparts such positive energy that nothing bad can happen.
Do you believe in omens????
Any church sacraments in the popular consciousness are associated with far-fetched and empty ancient thoughts, superstitions and prejudices that have no connection. The word “superstition” is formed in two parts: “ sue» - « in vain" And " faith", which means " vain belief», « vain faith", i.e. empty. It is extremely unwise to live by superstitions alone and give them important, especially when performing church sacraments. One of them is baptism - the beginning of the path of the immortal soul to eternal life, to God.
Why can't the first girl be baptized?
Various superstitions have come down to us regarding the choice of a godmother. For example, it is believed that pregnant women cannot baptize a child, otherwise their child may die without being born or will not live long after birth.
Many have heard such a superstition that unmarried girls and women were not called godparents for girls. unmarried? People have several answers to this question:
- Unmarried women can “give” their happiness to their goddaughter.
- To prevent the “crown of celibacy” from going to the goddaughter, only married people were chosen as godparents.
In addition, due to the fact that the goddaughter “takes over” the fate of her godmother, only women who were happily married and satisfied with their fate were taken as successors.
Church opinion
Civilized people, and especially religious people, should not believe in superstitions. For a child it doesn’t matter what social status his godmother takes over. It is important that the recipient lives according to God’s laws and passes on her spiritual knowledge.
English superstition
Such superstitions regarding baptism exist not only in our country. The British living in the north and west of the country try not to baptize a girl before a boy. Why can't the first girl be baptized? in England?
According to medieval belief, witches flying around a girl can take hair off a boy’s face: a man’s lack of facial hair – a mustache and beard – is a satanic sign, and the man himself is Satan’s henchman.
Baptism ceremony
The ritual of baptism existed long before the advent of Christianity, which borrowed it from ancient pagan beliefs. In ancient times, baptism “introduced” the newborn into the community, which protected its new member from enemies, evil forces and evil spirits. Basically, baptism took place immediately after birth: the midwife “sold” the child to the future godparents, who carried him to church to “create a man.” According to scientists, the rite of baptism in paganism has ritual significance. According to him, the midwife represents the pagan principle, nature, which “sculpts” the body, creates the form, and the godparents represent the Christian, they give the name to the newborn and introduce him to the spiritual sphere. Through the joint efforts of godparents and midwives new person through the rite of baptism he enters the community, society.
That is why baptism is considered the main rite of the beginning of life, as a result of which the child receives one more, spiritual, parents (adoptives) - godmother and godfather (for biological ones - godfather), who are responsible for the spiritual education and piety of the godson before God. In addition, in Everyday life godparents act as protectors and wise advisers.
The meaning of the sacrament
As a result of baptism, the child’s original sin is washed away and he appears clean before God. In addition, baptism allows a person in the future to become the recipient of another child, to get married, to take part in other church sacraments, and for others to pray for him.
Kumovya
We can say that the choice of recipients is a crucial moment in preparation for christening. The choice of godparents for baptism was based on good relationships between godfathers and parents. They tried to choose people who were baptized, kind, quiet-eyed, with a light hand, and for whom everything would go well in life. Take a child from the font to light hand, it was considered to give him a long and happy life. An important point in the choice of godparents is the absence of marriage between them, both during christenings and after them.
For baptism, it is enough to invite one of the godparents: for a boy - a godfather, for a girl - a godmother. Catholics do this, but in Orthodoxy, according to Russian tradition, both are invited for a child.
What do godparents give?
At christening, the godfather gives a cross, and the godmother gives a baptismal shirt, scarf and kryzhma, to which she receives the child from the holy font.
According to the first ancient rituals, the godfather paid for the christening, presented the midwife with money (“ransomed” the baby) and gave the child’s mother a chintz scarf.
When making a choice - to be a godmother or not, do not be guided by signs and superstitions. Don't think about the question " Why can't the first girl be baptized? ?. Becoming a godmother is a sacred, honorable and responsible role. The Church does not recognize or confirm any existing superstition and stands firmly in their path. According to church canons, the godmother not only cannot lose anything, but on the contrary, she gains positive energy by participating in a good cause. The role of goddaughter is especially important for an unmarried woman. After all, only by becoming a godmother can you understand your responsibility for the purity of your goddaughter’s soul before God. A good godmother will take part in the upbringing of her godchildren and will become an adviser and support in life.
When deciding to become a girl’s godmother, remember that baptism is a good deed, and the role of godmother is honorable, and God’s grace will descend on your life.
The rite of baptism contains certain signs and superstitions. Being godparents means carrying a responsible burden. After all, the responsibility of such parents is to care for the child and raise him. Great responsibility raises many questions. Among the frequently asked questions is: “ why can't an unmarried girl baptize her first girl??. Let's try to answer it in detail and learn about the features of the baptismal rite.
For some reason, men are never guided by superstitions, but emotionally malleable girls tend to obey folk superstitions, wisdom and signs.
Reasons why an unmarried girl should not be baptized
Considering the non-Orthodox reasons that girls often believe in, we note the following:
- 1st sign: a nulliparous and unmarried girl who baptizes a girl can take away her goddaughter’s happiness;
- 2nd sign: an unmarried girl who has entered into the ritual church sacrament baptism, may prevent the goddaughter from getting married in the future;
- 3rd sign: the fate of an unmarried godmother may in the future affect the fate of her goddaughter.
There is also an opposite sign. If the first person baptized by an unmarried woman is a boy, then the girl’s life will be happy and her future marriage will be strong.
Whether or not to believe the superstitions associated with baptism is up to you to decide. By refusing this honorable rite, you can offend the child’s parents. The sacrament of baptism is a special rite. There is no place for prejudices and superstitions here. Sometimes they help justify their own bad actions and mistakes.
The opinion of the Orthodox Church on the baptism of children by unmarried girls
Today even the Orthodox Church has heard the question: “ Why can’t an unmarried girl baptize a girl??. She considers such superstitions stupid and unfounded. The priests claim that such girls at the time of baptism will not harm either the health or the fate of the child. The only caution that unmarried ladies need to take into account is that the child’s godfather should not be her future husband. The fact is that in the church young people will become related, and relatives, based on Orthodox canons, it is forbidden to enter into a church marriage or get married. So beware at this point.
What girl can be a godmother?
When becoming a godmother, a girl must be raised to Orthodox faith and observe church customs. There are no age limits here. The main thing in this case is to understand all the responsibility that lies in guiding and instructing godchildren on the spiritual path. If you feel ready for this, then feel free to baptize the girl even if she is unmarried. Baptism will not only help the child, but also bring you closer to the spiritual world.
There is no point in looking for reasons in superstitions and omens to refuse the holy sacrament. Before baptism, you can consult with the priests and learn more about the features of the rite.