We all know how important it is for children to develop self-esteem even at a young age. early age. Such self-esteem should be able to be formed in a child in the preschool period, and only then will it be adequate. After all, only adequate self-esteem can play a significant role in the formation of a child’s personality. Children are not born with a certain attitude towards themselves. That is why parents invest self-esteem in their child along with his upbringing. This is precisely why it is very important for parents to know the basic rules of formation adequate self-esteem and be sure to follow them.

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Photo gallery: Rules for forming adequate self-esteem

We offer you 7 rules for developing adequate self-esteem in a child, which will help over time your baby clearly understand who he is and what place he occupies in the world around him. Remember that children achieve normal self-esteem with the help of the awareness and feeling that they are valued and unselfishly loved by the people closest to them - their parents. That is why parents, first of all, need to create an atmosphere of love and mutual understanding for their child. Only after this, when the child grows up, will he be able not to be afraid to express his thoughts, make responsible decisions and cope with life’s difficulties without any difficulties. So, here are seven steps to developing a positive, objective, healthy self-esteem.

Love for a child

Of course, all parents love their children and are not afraid to say it out loud. But, no matter how strange it may sound, it is out of good intentions that many parents make mistakes. Of course, there are no absolutely ideal parents in the world who would follow all the rules of upbringing and always make the right decisions in the process. But both mother and father should treat their child with respect and understanding. You should not save on time spent with your child. Don’t forget to walk with your baby, play, play sports, do homework, help develop imagination and so on. It is worth remembering that any joint activity should radiate positivity and joy for both you and your child. Sincere communication with your baby will give him the full opportunity to feel what you see in his childhood image of a little person with whom you want to constantly spend time and be friends. After all, a child’s immature thinking is always based on the perception of the world around him as a way to satisfy his desires and needs. The child always concentrates on what he sees, and does not think through logical reasoning.

At the stage of formation of the baby’s personality, there is no need to compare him with other children. It is clear that when you talk about how the neighbor's child holds his back beautifully, you want your child to be the best, but when he grows up, he will become an insecure person with low self-esteem. So you won’t achieve adequate self-esteem by doing this. Suggestion occurs from childhood, also the formation of adequate self-esteem. Remember this!

Develop your baby's sense of competence

When forming an adequate and correct form of expression of one’s “I” and self-confidence, it will be nice if you reveal a sense of competence in the child. This will further help him realize himself in all areas of life. Make sure that your child can do a lot of things with his own hands, solve problems and rely only on his own strength, and all this will bring him pride in the achievements he himself has made. Find an area of ​​activity where your child can express himself at his best. the best side. For example, developing the skill of singing or drawing well will help increase his self-esteem and confidence in his strengths and capabilities. Remember that one success gives rise to the desire for the next!

Encourage your child as much as possible and punish him as little as possible.

It is important that the baby is praised not only by his parents, but also by strangers. Create conditions for your child so that others can appreciate his efforts. All this will play a significant role in raising his self-esteem. By the way, it wouldn’t hurt to say that some children really don’t like it when they praise someone else and not him. If you notice this, try to develop a sense of goodwill in your child.

You also need to praise your child correctly; find that “golden mean” for which your baby should receive praise.

And yet, often, due to the child’s whims or disobedience, parents apply severe punishment to him: they reproach him, express their dissatisfaction in a harsh form, and even threaten him. This negatively affects the child's upbringing, reducing his attachment to his parents, and causing feelings of bitterness and hatred as he gets older. Empty threats also do not bring good, if the parents promised to punish - let them do it. But remember, everything can be achieved with the right tone of conversation, and not with shouting and swearing!

There is no need to demand the impossible from a child

It's always worth keeping a balance. On the one hand, it is necessary for the child to gain experience, and on the other hand, it is necessary not to overload him. Experts advise determining a child’s self-esteem using a special formula. This formula includes two ways to increase self-esteem. In the first case, self-esteem can be increased with the help of effective achievements in a variety of activities, and in the second case, by reducing the level of aspirations. Remember that the child’s aspirations must correspond to his acceptable potentials and abilities. This is the only way he will achieve success, and his self-esteem will become adequate.

Instill in your child confidence that he good man

All parents want to see their children happy and to be good. But for this it is necessary to teach the child to do good deeds and enjoy it, which will raise his self-esteem. Give the baby constant practical advice that will instill in him responsibility, independence, kindness and competence. All this will help him acquire high self-esteem and self-respect. By the way, the best way to do this is with the help of good and instructive books.

Criticize your child as little as possible

The basic rules for developing healthy self-esteem say that you should not notice all the mistakes and failures of a child and hang “labels” on him. If he knocks over a glass, don't call him "clumsy." Such words, due to their frequent use, can kill a child’s self-esteem, lower his self-esteem, forcing him to believe that he is like that. Avoid “sharp” remarks. Remember that with praise and support he will achieve a lot and he will grow up with adequate self-esteem!

Khomut Svetlana Nikolaevna

teacher primary classes MBOU "Secondary School No. 3", Chernyshevsky village

Article

Formation of adequate self-esteem in junior schoolchildren as a tool for implementing the requirements of the Federal State Educational Standard

“Self-esteem is the most important organ of mental life,

serving to regulate behavior and human activity,

his successes and failures."

G. A. Tsukerman.

In the context of modernization of the modern education system, increased interest in the student’s personality is important. V.A. Sukhomlinsky noted that the primary task is to discover the creator in every person, to put him on the path of original creative, intellectual full-blooded work. The problem of personality development is especially relevant today when education is in an intense process of reform.

The goal of the school is to form the student’s personality with maximum regard for his individual capabilities, abilities; preparing students for independent self-improvement - makes it especially significant problem formation active position schoolchildren in the educational process. Self-esteem is the most important indicator of personality development.Main functions of self-assessment:

Ascertaining

Mobilization and incentive

Design

The main meaning of self-assessment is the student’s self-control, self-regulation, independent examination of his own activities and self-stimulation.

The importance of self-assessment is not only that it allows a person to see the strengths and weaknesses of his work, but also that, based on understanding these results, he gets the opportunity to build his own program for future activities.

It is necessary to accustom a child to the idea that a person can and should evaluate himself; this assessment is the most important, since it allows him to move on independently, and not look at others: what will they say, how will they evaluate my actions?

Self-esteem has a number of dimensions: it can be adequate or inadequate (or, more simply, correct or false), relatively high or low, stable or unstable. Distinctive feature a mature personality is differentiated self-esteem: a person does not believe that he is generally kind, smart, etc.; he clearly recognizes and highlights those areas of life, those areas of activity in which he is strong, can achieve high results, overcome significant difficulties, and those where his capabilities are ordinary.

Depending on the level, self-esteem can stimulate or, conversely, suppress a person’s activity.

A person whose self-esteem is high creates around himself an atmosphere of honesty, responsibility, compassion, and love. Such a person feels important and needed, he feels that the world has become better because he exists in it. Only by feeling his own high value can a person see, accept and respect the high value of other people.

Inadequate low self-esteem contributes to the development of lack of confidence in one’s own capabilities, limits life prospects and can be accompanied by severe emotional breakdowns, internal conflict, etc.

Two factors have a decisive influence on the formation of self-esteem:

The attitude of others and

The child’s own awareness of the characteristics of his activity, its progress and results.

And this awareness will not appear automatically: parents and teachers need to teach the child to see and understand himself, teach him to coordinate his actions with the actions of other people, and coordinate his desires with the desires and needs of others.

At primary school age, educational activity is the leading activity; it is on its course that it depends decisive degree the formation of a child’s self-esteem, it is directly related to his academic performance and success in learning. Moreover psychological research show that the self-esteem of younger schoolchildren is still far from independent; it is dominated by the assessments of others, especially the teacher’s assessments.

Weak students gradually begin to develop self-doubt, anxiety, timidity, they feel bad among classmates, and are wary of adults.

A different set of personal qualities begins to take shape in strong students due to high self-esteem. They are distinguished by self-confidence, often turning into excessive self-confidence, and the habit of being first and exemplary.

Both underestimation and overestimation of one’s strengths and capabilities is far from a harmless phenomenon for a student.

The development of the personality of a junior schoolchild occurs under the influence of both educational activities and in extracurricular activities.

I began my work on new educational standards by testing my students, the purpose of which was to find out what kind of self-esteem children have, using different methods, carried out in different conditions (success and failure)

Methodology A.I. Lipkina "Three assessments".

The students completed a written assignment. The work was assessed with three ratings: adequate, overestimated and underestimated. Before handing out notebooks with grades to the students, she said:“I checked your work. I gave you three different grades. Circle the grade you agree with.” . Then I had an individual conversation with each child, during which I found out the answers to the questions:

1. What kind of student do you consider yourself: average, strong or weak?

2. Which grades make you happy and which ones make you sad?

3. Your work deserves a grade of "3", but the teacher gave it a "5", will you be happy or sad about this?

During the conversation, I tried not to impose my opinion; I recorded and analyzed the answers.

The level of self-esteem was determined by the following indicators:

 coincidence or discrepancy between self-assessment and teacher assessment;

 the nature of self-assessment argumentation: argumentation aimed at the quality of work performance; any other argument; stability or instability of self-esteem, which is judged by the degree of coincidence of the nature of the mark given by the student to himself and the answers to the questions. Self-esteem can be adequate, overestimated or underestimated.

Using drawing tests you can identify your level of self-esteem .

I asked to draw a person, a family, a non-existent animal. These methods, along with other indicators, help assess the child’s social well-being and level of self-esteem.Low self-esteem - a small figure, located not in the middle of the sheet, but on the edge, the details are poorly drawn, or the use dark colors, shading. Aboutadequate self-esteem says a well-drawn figure located in the center of the sheet, a well-drawn face and parts of clothing, enough Long hands and legs.Heightened self-esteem - the figure is too large, heavily decorated, all other figures in the picture seem inconspicuous and inconspicuous

Test "Ladder"

She invited the students to draw a ladder of 10 steps on a piece of paper, and explained that on the lowest step there are the worst (angry, envious, etc.) boys and girls, on the second step - a little better, on the third even better, and so on. . But on the very top step stand the smartest (good, kind) boys and girls... Draw,what step would he stand on?? Let him draw himself on this step or put a doll.

In my first class, 28 people took part in testing, 10 of them with high self-esteem, 8 children with low self-esteem and 10 with adequate self-esteem

At primary school age, the level of self-esteem may change.The work of a teacher in developing adequate self-esteem should be based on two principles: the principle of measure and the principle of consistency.

Every appeal to a child, every assessment of his activities, reaction to successes and failures - all this influences the child’s attitude towards himself. That is, a teacher with properly structured, systematic and targeted work can help a child form adequate self-esteem.

Therefore, in my work I used various technologies, techniques, and forms to form adequate self-esteem.

I try to use the following educational technologies in my lessons:
-technology of problem dialogue (stimulates learning motivation; increases cognitive interest; forms independence; forms beliefs)
-project activity (forms the accumulation of meanings, assessments, relationships, behavioral dispositions)
-ICT technologies (forms adequate self-esteem, awareness of learning and educational motivation, adequate response to difficulties, critical attitude to information and selectivity of its perception, respect for information about privacy and information results of other people, the basis of legal culture in the field of information use is formed)

Situational learning technologies (develops the ability to demonstrate one’s position, moral assessment of a situation, accepting someone else’s opinion, adequate assessment of others, constructive interaction skills)
productive reading technology

Technology of level differentiation (forms adequate self-esteem, self-development and self-improvement, educational motivation, ability to set goals)
Work on the formation of adequate self-esteem occurs at all stages of the educational process: in academic, extracurricular and extracurricular activities.

Every teacher knows that it is very important to reduce emotional stress in a timely manner, create situations of success, and a comfortable psychological climate in the classroom.

These practical games and exercises I conduct on classroom hours, at the beginning of the lesson, during breaks, during dynamic breaks.

Game "King"

Goal: the student is given the opportunity to be in the spotlight for a while, in the role of a strong and confident king, without embarrassing or offending anyone.

How many of you have ever dreamed of becoming a king? What benefits does the one who becomes king receive?

Content: One of you will become king. Everyone else becomes servants and must do what the king orders. Naturally, the king does not have the right to give such orders that may offend other children, but he can afford a lot.

Game "T-shirt with an inscription"

Goal: to encourage the child to self-knowledge, to open up,

Sometimes T-shirts have telling inscriptions that characterize their owner. I invite participants to write down their motto for an imaginary T-shirt (about your favorite activities, desires, attitude towards others)

Game "Collect a bouquet"

Goal: to teach how to interact with each other, getting joy and pleasure from it, the child has the opportunity to choose and be chosen.

Content: The participant declares himself a flower and finds two flowers for a bouquet, explaining his choice. Invite someone who is close and attractive to you into your bouquet. Let's try to collect one bouquet.

Game "Pyramid of Love"

Goal: to teach how to show love to others and feel good attitude to yourself.

Contents: Each of us loves something or someone; We all have this feeling and we all express it differently. I love my family. Home, children. Tell us who and what you love. Now let's build a pyramid of love from our hands. I’ll name something I love and put my hand in, now each of you will name something I love and put my hand in. Do you feel the warmth of your hands? You are pleased with this state. Look how tall our pyramid turned out, because we are loved and love ourselves (I give hearts).

Here are somedrawing and graphic techniques , which are advisable to carry out at the beginning of the lesson in order to establish emotional contact or at the end of an activity.

I. Drawing and graphic techniques.

1. “Sun-cloud”

“Sunny” - I succeeded in everything, “sun and cloud” - I didn’t succeed in everything, “cloud” - I didn’t succeed;

2. “Joyful gnome” - everything is fine, “sad gnome” is not good;

3. “Mood pendulum” - reflects the child’s mood.

4. “Ladder of success”

Bottom step, the “little man” has his hands down - nothing worked for me;

middle step, the “little man” has his arms spread to the sides - I had problems;

the top step, the “little man” has his arms raised up - I succeeded;

5. “Dress up the Christmas tree” - successfully completed the task - hung the ball, there were mistakes - the ball remained near the tree;

6. “Tree of Success” - green sheet - no errors, yellow sheet - 1 error, red sheet - 2-3 errors;

7. “Magic ruler” » In the margins of their notebooks, children draw scales and mark with a cross the level at which, in their opinion, the work has been completed. When checking, the teacher, if he agrees with the student’s assessment, circles a cross; if not, then draws his own cross lower or higher

8. "Traffic light" » assessment completing tasks using color signals: red – I can do it myself, yellow – I can do it, but I’m not sure, green – I need help.

9. "Symbols » The assessment is recorded as follows:

The student knows the material well and is able to use knowledge in a non-standard situation %

 - the student knows the material, but applies knowledge according to the model in a non-standard situation;

The student has difficulty completing the task;

The student does not know the material and cannot cope with the task;

10. “Steal the cake.”

I am satisfied with my work in class - the color red.

I worked well, but I can do even better - green.

The job didn’t work out, I’m not happy with myself – the color blue.

11. Graphic technique

Goal: identifying the level of difficulty, emotional attitude to the task

Contents: Place an icon next to each completed task

I liked doing it - it was difficult

I didn’t like it very much - it wasn’t very difficult

Didn't like it at all - not difficult

II.Verbal techniques

a) To develop self-esteem, the following questions are asked at the end of lessons:

– What did you learn in class?
– What did you learn?
– What can you praise yourself for?
– What else needs to be worked on?
– What tasks did you like?
– Which tasks seemed difficult?
– Have you achieved the goal set at the beginning of the lesson?

b) we use a visual aid that helps in assessing our achievements

Today in class I...
I can praise...
I'm not enough...
I did my best…

Through my work in class I:

Satisfied

Not entirely happy

I'm unhappy because...

I chose these activities in class because:

I like them better than the others;

I feel like I can handle them worse than other tasks

They are easier than other tasks.

c) “Compliment”

The goal is to evaluate your activity and quality of work.

Content: students evaluate each other’s contribution to the lesson and thank each other (Compliment-praise, Compliment on business qualities, Compliment on feelings) and the teacher for the lesson. This option for ending the lesson makes it possible to satisfy the need for recognition of the personal significance of each

III. Tables. self-observation cards, assessment sheets, reminders (see Appendix)

Such techniques are most effective in 4th grade. I use it for group training. Children, working in groups, evaluate the work of their own and other groups. And at the end the work is assessed by the teacher.

In order for the development of self-esteem to be effective, the following conditions must be met:
1. Joint development by teacher and students of clear assessment standards for each specific case;
2. Creating the necessary psychological mood for students to analyze their own results;
3. Ensuring the situation of independent free reference assessment by students of their results;
4. Comparison and conclusions about work efficiency;
5. Students draw up their own program of activities for the next stage of training, taking into account the results obtained

“Plus-minus-interesting

Purpose: summing up the lesson.

Contents: This exercise can be done either orally or in writing, depending on time availability. For written completion, it is proposed to fill out a table of three columns. In the “P” - “plus” column, everything that you liked during the lesson, information and forms of work that aroused positive emotions, or in the student’s opinion may be useful to him in achieving some goals, is written down. In the “M” - “minus” column, everything that was not liked in the lesson, seemed boring, caused hostility, remained incomprehensible, or information that, in the student’s opinion, turned out to be unnecessary for him, useless from the point of view of solving life situations. In the “I” - “interesting” column, students write down all the interesting facts that they learned about in class and what else they would like to know about this problem, questions for the teacher.

It should be noted that positive results were achieved in developing the self-esteem of primary schoolchildren:

Conscious perception by students educational material, understanding the limits of one’s knowledge;

Increasing the level of responsibility for educational activities;

In the actions of children one can already feel the ability to foresee the results of their activities; most are able to predict the consequences;

Children show the ability to assess their own changes based on a sense of duty and self-knowledge skills;

Confidence in mastery abilities for self-realization and self-affirmation social experience;

Ability to assess your position in the system social relations“adult – peer – me.”

Self-esteem is one of the most important aspects personality formation.Working on the self-esteem of my students, I strive for them, first of all, to believe in themselves, open up, consider the precious grains of talent within themselves, embark on the path of their development, and be happy now and in the future. It is important to believe in yourself and make your aspirations come true

Developing adequate self-esteem is not just a way to become happy man. This is the foundation on which all life must be built, so Special attention should be given to the formation of self-esteem at primary school age.

Literature

1.A.G.Asmolov How to design universal educational activities in primary school. M. Education2010.

2.Vorontsov A.B. Pedagogical technology of control and evaluation of educational activities. M., 2002.

3. Zakharova A.V. “Formation of self-esteem in educational activities”
Psychological problems in the educational activities of schoolchildren. M, 1977.

4. Larina A. B. Formation of cognitive self-esteem of students in elementary school: Toolkit. – Kaliningrad: KOIRO, 2011.

5. Fennell M. How to increase self-esteem. – M.: AST, 2005.

Annex 1

REMINDER

"Learn to control yourself"

(self-assessment scheme)

How can this diagram be useful to you?

The older you get, the greater the responsibility for your

the work is entrusted to you yourself. Successful students are those who

knows how to check his work and correct his mistakes. They also know how

set goals to improve your performance.

How to use the self-assessment scheme?

There are several tricks. You can:

a) try to evaluate part of the work done and see

how much it satisfies you;

b) ask your friend to help you evaluate how good

you completed the task;

c) use the self-assessment scheme to improve your

ability to complete tasks.

What your work looks like:

1. Does it look neat?

2. Does it have a title (if necessary)?

3. Do you use fields?

4. Do you carefully underline the title and other sections of the work?

5. Do you start each paragraph with the required indentation?

6. Are there any ways in which you could

improve appearance work?

Important elements your work:

1. Is it easy to read what you wrote?

2. Do you check your spelling?

3. Do you check punctuation marks?

4. Can you say it's done?

carefully?

5. Do you correct mistakes?

6. Can you clear conscience say that you did everything you could

capable?

Improve yourself!

There is little behind the words “I will try”; we need to find out what

and how you will improve.

Decide for yourself what exactly you will accomplish with maximum

diligence when working on the next task. When you're done,

check it using the self-assessment scheme and evaluate your result.

1. What am I going to improve in my work on this assignment?

2. How will I do this?

3. My rating for effort. (Excellent. Very good. Good. Satisfactory)

Appendix 2

In the “Achievement Notebooks” table

I can

I'm at a loss

I do not know how

Teacher

Teacher

Teacher

Form the infinitive form of the verb

Determine by indefinite form conjugation

I know verbs - exceptions

Write unstressed personal endings of verbs

Appendix 3

Assessment should serve the main goal - to stimulate and guide the educational and cognitive activity of a primary school student;

The teacher must give a meaningful assessment of the work of the younger student;

Assessment should not complete educational and cognitive activity, but accompany it at all levels;

In educational activities, it is necessary to compare children who have approximately the same abilities, but achieve different results because of different attitude to learning;

It is necessary to use peer review, while noting strengths and weaknesses when expressing opinions about the assessment;

After review, the work is returned to the author, and students independently analyze their work;

Offer a student with low self-esteem to provide assistance to a low-performing junior student;

It is necessary to include situations that update the child’s self-esteem, challenge him to understand the specifics of his work, its strengths and weaknesses, and promote the child’s focus on his own ways of acting;

It is necessary to introduce notebooks in which students make notes according to a special scheme, analyzing and evaluating their work in the lesson, determining the degree of mastery of the material, the degree of its complexity, highlighting the most difficult moments of the work;

It is necessary to invite children to independently evaluate classwork and homework before submitting it to the teacher for checking; after the work has been checked and graded by the teacher, it is necessary to discuss cases of discrepancy in grades. Find out the basis on which children build self-esteem and the indicators by which the teacher evaluates;

It is necessary to use praise when working with children who have low self-esteem.

Appendix 4

According to G. Reichlin and K. Winkler, parents set the initial level of a child’s aspirations - what he aspires to in educational activities. The level of aspirations directly affects the child’s self-esteem, so parents should follow the following recommendations in order to develop differentiated adequate self-esteem in their children in the process of upbringing:

Find time, at least a few minutes every day, to give your child all your attention, without sharing it with anything else;

Show the child that parents recognize and understand his feelings, even if they do not agree with him. Explain that different people may have different feelings. None human feelings are not right or wrong. Remembering and acknowledging a child’s feelings, even negative ones, does not mean allowing him to behave inappropriately;

No matter how much you like the situation or any plan, ask the child’s opinion about it, if necessary, offer him a couple of alternatives. This will not only teach the child to think independently, but also to understand that his opinion is valued, which gives the child a sense of control over the situation;

Show children your selfless love;

Set consistent, firm limits. This will allow the child to understand that the world predictable. Putting them into practice requires developing appropriate consequences for poor behavior;

Praise your child for specific actions. If a child sees that his parents really noticed his attempts to do something well, he will repeat them;

Use role-playing games to play out difficult or unfamiliar situations with children in advance, so that when faced with them, children feel confident, comfortable, knowing what to do and what to expect;

Help children learn to solve problems themselves, without the help of adults;

Respect children's efforts;

Show the child obvious evidence of his development, his achievements. Show the child his old drawings or his earlier video to prove to him what progress he has made, what new skills he has acquired;

Explain to your child that everyone has failures sometimes. It is very important to understand that mistakes give a person the opportunity to learn;

Try to concentrate on the positive, come up with something interesting;

Help your child feel important by assigning him some tasks or responsibilities to help the family;

Treat with respect individual characteristics the child, to his degree of development at different stages;

To acknowledge strengths your child and praise them for them, rather than focusing on his weaknesses. Provide the child with as many opportunities as possible to achieve success in what he likes and what he is good at. This will help him gain self-confidence;

Avoid comparing your child with others. Let him know that he is loved for who he is;

Tell your child interesting details about the family and family history. Ask relatives about this;

Be sure to arrange family holidays. Establish your own family traditions;

Open up your inner world to your child, share with him your passions, knowledge and emotions;

Treat with care inner world child, respect his interests, take grief seriously, no matter how trivial, repetitive and boring they may seem;

The child must see that the parents are proud not only of him, but also of themselves;

Parents should understand that humorous nicknames or teasing by a child can be taken seriously. And if he asks you to stop, you should listen to him;

Try to look at some things through the eyes of a child, remember that his understanding of the world around him is based on limited experience and his undeveloped thinking;

Introduce the child to the diversity of the world around him, talk about the fact that every person is unique, and so is he;

Talk respectfully about cultural, physical and more subtle differences between people.

"Self-esteem,
a person’s assessment of himself, his capabilities, qualities and place among other people. Relating to the core of the personality, S. is the most important regulator of its behavior. A person’s relationships with others, his criticality, self-demandingness, and attitude toward successes and failures depend on S. S. is associated with the level of a person’s aspirations, that is, the degree of difficulty in achieving the goals that he sets for himself. The discrepancy between a person’s aspirations and his real capabilities leads to incorrect self-esteem, as a result of which the individual’s behavior becomes inadequate (emotional breakdowns, increased anxiety, etc. occur). S. receives objective expression in how a person evaluates the capabilities and results of other people’s activities.”
TSB

- I am smart, handsome, strong, brilliant! And I discovered all this in myself!
Joke

As the term suggests, self-esteem is, like, “evaluation of oneself.” That is, for the formation of SELF-esteem, how others evaluate you should not seem to matter.
But the problem is that very, very many people sometimes significantly confuse these things. If only because they do not know how, are not able to “evaluate themselves” and involuntarily expect the evaluation of others. And accordingly, they evaluate themselves according to the principle “what the majority of others will say.” Even though these estimates may be blatantly biased.

Example:
“The subject is in a room like a school classroom. Along with him there are a dozen and a half extras, and the subject is sure that they are all the same “guinea pigs” as he is. The experimenter draws a picture on the board (or shows a pre-prepared poster): two parallel lines A and B. Moreover, the naked eye can see that line A is slightly longer than line B. And then the survey of the experiment participants begins. One by one, the extras are asked which line is longer. And they unanimously categorically declare: “Of course, B! This is immediately obvious! And there can be no doubt!” After all the statisticians have given such unambiguous answers, the experimenter turns to the real subject: “Well, what do you say?” And the poor subject answers in a trembling voice that yes, of course, line B is longer. After all, by this moment he is really convinced of this. Although at the beginning of the experiment I observed the opposite with my own eyes..."

But SELF-esteem, especially “objective and adequate”, is a truly complex issue. And in many ways this is why: self-esteem IN GENERAL does not exist. Just as there is, in theory, no “general assessment of others.” Saying about someone "he's a good person" or "he bad person" - these are essentially meaningless words. Because many questions immediately arise: what is good? What's bad? For whom? By what criteria?
After all, even at school there are many different subjects in which a student has the right to receive different grades. And when forming “your own assessment of yourself,” it is useful to first of all divide the “area of ​​your entire life” into small separate areas with more or less general criteria, and literally form a separate self-esteem in each of them.

One of the problems clients have is that they ask “to help them increase their self-esteem AT ALL.” Instead of thinking about what specific “pieces” you can divide this self-esteem and determine in what area it does not suit you and in what way.

In particular, if there is a more specific question - say, to determine how much you are worth (in the sense of claims to a particular salary level) - it is more logical to look for the answer in accordance with certain parameters in certain areas.
Therefore, to make this determination, you must first formulate specific requirements for an employee in this area, and then determine how well you meet these requirements.

For example, if your work involves laying networks, then it is unlikely that your self-esteem and your aspirations in this area will be greatly influenced by the fact that, for example, you do not know how to knit or make jam. If your job requires you to knit well and does not require, say, driving a car, then it is unlikely that your self-esteem in this area will be greatly affected by the fact that you do not know how to drive a car. And so on and so forth.

And if, speaking more generally, your job requires an increased ability to make non-standard solutions, and you have it, you may well qualify for something not the latest in terms of salary level. If your new job presupposes standard blind submission to superiors, and you have difficulties with this - then you should generally think about whether you can achieve high altitudes, even if you need to do what you know how to do.

By the way, we can also talk about why, in this case, so-called perfectionism can be formed: the desire to “always be perfect in all respects.” Perfectionists most often approach self-esteem “in general,” and moreover: if they are “less successful” in some area (which happens quite often, because it is physically impossible to be able to do EVERYTHING), they do not say about themselves “they say, in this area, I can’t do much, but then…” - they give themselves a GENERAL “F” in life. Precisely because they at least don’t know how to do something.

Those who do not suffer from perfectionism approach self-esteem using the method of Matroskin the cat: yes, they say, I’m not good at this, “but I can embroider and I can also use a sewing machine...” 🙂
Therefore, the main problem of working with perfectionists is adjusting intermediate life goals, so to speak. In particular, the understanding that it is physically impossible in life to be an “excellent student in all subjects.” And just between you and me, often after school, former straight-A students do not show particularly high results, because they often have to apply their abilities outside of school in a specific area, and they most often have not formed any special priorities.

It is also impossible to be an “excellent student in all subjects” in life because, firstly, any areas of application of your strength have very different “evaluation criteria”, and secondly, there are too many of these areas. Much more than subjects at school...

And the adequacy of “evaluating yourself by yourself” does not lie in striving to be able to do everything, but in objectively assessing yourself in every area. Of course, where this can be measured in numbers (the same salary, after the above-mentioned ratio of the qualities required at work and your personal characteristics and skills) - there it will be more objective. But there are areas where it is very difficult to make such a “self-assessment”. And those who nevertheless set it for themselves in this area are, as a rule, mistaken, both downward and upward.

For example, one of the most difficult areas to assess is what kind of sexual partner you are. Here, however, the evaluation criteria are the least specific, and SELF-assessments even more so. Therefore, both those who say about themselves “I’m a complete nonentity in bed” and those who boast “I’m a great lover”, as a rule, are mistaken. At least in some ways. After all, in fact, you should ask your sex partners about what kind of sexual partner you are. But taking into account that all their assessments will be subjective, and the criteria will be very different. So in this area, objective self-esteem is practically never achieved - and is it necessary?

So, you shouldn’t give yourself a “final GPA” in life. Always, at any point in life when you need to refer to your self-esteem, proceed from the criteria of a specific situation. And from this it actually follows that self-esteem is difficult (and practically impossible) to form “once and for all,” or at least “once and for a long time.” The most adequate self-esteem is constantly being formed; This is a flexible and moving thing, depending, let me remind you, on a variety of criteria in a variety of life areas. Therefore, you should always refer to the extent to which certain of your capabilities are in demand and implementable in a particular area.
And it is also important not to confuse self-esteem with assessment of society - which is where we actually started. Very often you hear in the office something like: “But no one loves me, and that’s why I don’t love myself...” You can, of course, say that such a client’s self-esteem is “lower than ever.” But excuse me, where is SELF-esteem?

And very often society instills in a person an external assessment, and one that does not correspond to him at all. But this person is so suggestible, so unable, unable or unwilling to use his own logic and pragmatism, that he undoubtedly accepts this external assessment as his own and lives with it further, despite any external changes. And by the way, if there is no incentive for these changes, if a person has come to terms with this very external assessment, where will the changes come from? After all, external social assessments are sometimes quite rigid (that is, they do not lend themselves well to changes provoked by new situational conditions), and if you do not begin to adequately re-evaluate yourself, no one from the outside will, as a rule, do this.

Moreover, this happens both with an underestimated “assessment from the outside” (when a person is deliberately made into an “omega”), and with an overestimate. In the first case, a person gets used to the idea that he is a nonentity, and increasingly talks about “low SELF-ESTEEM,” often even turning this into a kind of psychological coupon. And forgetting that there is no SELF-esteem here again. Because it is unlikely that a person thinks: why exactly does he value himself so low, if it is he who values ​​HIMSELF, and not the external society? It happens, of course, that people are too lazy to think about it, everything is already cemented at the level of their preconscious, and “they are reluctant to get into this, and sometimes it’s unpleasant” - and when the question is posed in this way, they begin to slander themselves: “I’m incapable, I’m ugly.” " and so on. Forgetting that, again, assessment of abilities, beauty, etc. they use EXTERNAL, and not their own.

It's the same with high self-esteem. External society (usually the very first one - family, parents, mother) gives such a person a more than inflated assessment, sometimes also for the sake of satisfying their own needs and increasing their own “self-esteem” (I put this word in quotes again, because here, too, the assessment is often more primary society - they say, “give me an A from outside, because I have such a capable child”). But for the child himself, such overestimation is most often pleasant, and he does not strive to do anything to somehow correspond to this assessment. Moreover, he may not yet see the fact of obvious overestimation at all - precisely because he does not yet have independent criteria for assessing and perceiving himself, and sometimes there is no need to develop and use them. Since mom said that he is the smartest, strongest and most beautiful - so it is, and what to worry about? And how many tragedies happen when such a family favorite goes to another society (to a kindergarten or school), where no one cares for him anymore? beautiful eyes will not give inflated ratings. But he doesn’t know how to evaluate himself. And in a collision with cruel reality“It often happens that “inflated self-esteem” abruptly gives way to “low self-esteem.” And this is a serious psychological trauma, and the later in life it occurred, the more pronounced its consequences.

Therefore, when separating self-esteem from assessments of external society, it should be remembered that external assessment is always biased. If only because there is an assessment of one society, another, a third... And, as you know, it is simply impossible to please everyone.
And even in the formation of self-esteem, there is a danger of replacing some personal criteria (or even all) with public criteria. And then we get what we have more than once called “list happiness” - albeit in some “part of the list”: “Let’s say, I become a director of a bank, then I will value myself.” Or “When I get married, then I will value myself.” And the fact that these life milestones are sometimes imposed from the outside, and not your own, is imperceptible. Especially for individuals from the second group of motivations.
And the danger of replacing one’s own assessments with those imposed from the outside exists more among those people who are not too pragmatic, again quite suggestible and, moreover, highly dependent on “public opinion.”

By the way, underestimation of one’s own assessment is more likely the less a person has so-called relevant social roles. In other words, the fewer those very different small areas, in each of which it makes sense to form separate self-esteem.

For example, if a man perceives himself only as a “money earner,” then his inability to carry out certain financial transactions will be perceived by him as the collapse of his entire life in general. And if we talk about his self-esteem here, then only as “nowhere lower.” Despite the fact that there are many other areas in which this person could achieve significant heights, these areas are irrelevant for him, he does not see them and does not perceive his participation in them as something serious. Or, for example, if a woman becomes fixated on the fact that she must “become a good mother” and nothing more - any problems with the reproductive function for her will be equal to the same ultra-low self-esteem. Despite the fact that there are still a lot of areas of life in which she could become super successful: but for her these areas do not exist.

So it is difficult to expect adequate self-esteem from an individual who seeks to evaluate himself only in one specific area. Especially (which happens quite often) if a person is not very successful in this particular area, because this area is not very adequate to his own personal abilities and interests (and as happens even more often, the choice of this particular area for implementation is dictated precisely from the outside).
And, probably, we can say that the most adequate self-esteem is formed where the individual has an adequate dose of the notorious reasonable egoism. If we were to use “simple formulas” at least as an example, we could say this: they say, in the case of high self-esteem, a person lacks intelligence, and in the case of low self-esteem, selfishness. Of course it is beautiful expression, but it may still be somewhat journalistic. Because in the case of both low and high self-esteem, no matter how strange it may seem, the individual has problems with reason, logic, and practicality. In particular, in order to formulate adequate criteria for oneself by which to evaluate oneself.

And also - speaking about self-esteem, one cannot help but say a few words about the fairly common “formula for calculating it”: they say, self-esteem is success divided into aspirations, and in order to increase self-esteem, one must either increase success or reduce aspirations...
If only everything were so simple!..
Unfortunately, this formula reminded me old joke: “Communism, as you know, is Soviet power plus electrification of the entire country; therefore, Soviet power is communism minus electrification. Or: electrification is communism minus Soviet power.”
As for self-esteem according to this formula, have you seen many individuals with clearly low SELF-esteem (which is another question, how much SELF-esteem..), who are able to somehow “increase their success,” that is, achievements? More often than not, they are initially confident that “they won’t succeed anyway.” Because that's how they value themselves. And also, people with low self-esteem more often reduce their aspirations literally to the minimum: but I’ll tell you a secret, this does not increase their self-esteem, rather the opposite. And people with high self-esteem often do not notice their “failures” - and also constantly increase their claims, but this has little effect on the value of their own assessment :)
So I very much doubt that self-esteem, success and aspirations are in such a direct relationship...
At least, adequate self-esteem is a self-esteem in which temporary crises do not lead to the collapse of the entire self-esteem (or rather, we can finally say - SELF-PERCEPTION).

And the last thing I would like to say is that self-esteem, which is “in general”, which is derived precisely as ASSESSMENT, is essentially a function (according to E. Berne) of the “inner Parent”. But the approach to self-esteem that is proposed in this material is the work of your “inner Adult”. It’s not for nothing that so many times people appeal to logic, to pragmatism and to REASONABLE egoism.
Therefore, it may be worthwhile in general to abandon the “final self-esteem from the position of the Parent” in life and use the “Adult Approach” in this regard - not to give yourself any assessments at all, to perceive yourself in the environment according to slightly different, non-evaluative criteria. Of course, not everyone can and can do this. Some people have to be helped to master this during consultations. And for many, this approach is generally unacceptable, because for them (especially those whose inner Adult is not developed or has atrophied due to lack of use) it is “Parental assessment” that is important - including assessment of themselves.

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Man is designed in such a way that he constantly evaluates himself. Whether we think about it consciously or allow the subconscious to do the work doesn't matter. Making mistakes, receiving criticism - this and much more can significantly affect our self-esteem. And what’s even worse is that it’s a vicious circle, because if it’s low, we make mistakes, and because we make them, our self-esteem drops.

Before you begin to form correct self-esteem, you need to diagnose yourself. If it is not there, then there is nothing to start from.

Three types of self-esteem

There are three types of self-esteem:

• understated
• normal
• overpriced

The purpose of this article is the formation of normal, correct self-esteem, because the other two types lead to serious psychological problems and also interfere. While high self-esteem leads to self-confidence and pride, low self-esteem leads to insecurity and inability to act. Let's take a closer look at both extremes.

Consequences and signs of low self-esteem:

• Pessimism
• Guilt
• Excessive self-criticism
• Sensitivity to criticism
• The desire to please other people in everything
• Indecisiveness
• Hostility as a defensive reaction
• Lack of self-confidence

With such a set it is extremely difficult to achieve success in life. A person with low self-esteem seems to live his life for others or is simply meaningless. Despite all the above signs, you can still equate low self-esteem with self-doubt.

Consequences and signs of high self-esteem:

• Confidence in one's own rightness, despite logical arguments
• Narcissism
• Self-confidence
• Selfishness
• Inability to forgive
• Desire for constant competition
• The presence of the pronoun “I” in almost every phrase
• Desire to talk more than listen
• Arrogance
• Pride

In this case, a person often does not want to admit the presence of inflated self-esteem. It is extremely difficult to do something about this, because the “patient” does not understand that he is “sick”. In the case of high self-esteem, you can equate it with self-confidence.

Inflated self-esteem is formed in childhood - either the only child in the family or a spoiled one. He receives a lot of affection and benefits simply for existing. Having entered the adult world, he continues to live by the same patterns. He demands attention and reverence for no reason, which can lead to serious discord both in the psyche and in the family and relationships with others.

As a result, we can derive quite simple patterns:

• Low self-esteem = lack of self-confidence
• High self-esteem = overconfidence
• Normal self-esteem = self-confidence

Lack of self-confidence can lead to the destruction of one’s life, while self-confidence can lead to the collapse of the lives of many people and even jeopardize the existence of the state (history knows such examples among leaders).

That is why it is so important to form normal self-esteem. Let's call it correct, because it is based on more or less objective assessments of one's abilities and the desire to become better.

Formation of correct self-esteem

Correct self-esteem allows anyone to determine their strengths and weaknesses. He will know his strengths and try to develop them. And at the same time, work on the shortcomings to correct them.

The main problem with increasing low self-esteem is that it can get out of control and become inflated. Perhaps you have witnessed such changes when a person at school was quite withdrawn and unsure of himself, and after some time he became self-confident. As we have already seen, both extremes are destructive. This article will focus more on how to deal with low self-esteem.

These are the tools that will help you form adequate, correct self-esteem.

Diary and introspection

In order to understand who you are and what advantages and disadvantages you have, you need. Taking notes about yourself is a good way to do this. Of course, this process is not quick, so get ready for a long and exciting journey. At this point, you just need to evaluate yourself and not try to do anything about it. Approach this matter with a cool head.

You can start with fairly simple tables like listing the advantages and disadvantages. After some time, it may turn out that you were wrong about something. Admit it right away, because it is misconceptions about yourself that form incorrect self-esteem.

Watch yourself. Less judgment at this stage, just list the facts. If you are envious, write down this trait, but do not let it spoil your opinion of yourself. Everything can be corrected. The same envy disappears when you acquire qualities such as nobility and gratitude. You need to understand what to start from.

Self-knowledge and self-acceptance

At the second stage, you can already evaluate yourself, just avoid extreme characteristics. There is no need to consider yourself lazy or stupid, because there is too much uncertainty in these words. In some situation you may have behaved stupidly, but that does not make you stupid. Treat mistakes and failures as new challenges.

You have to get to know yourself again and again every day, because this process will never end. You are constantly changing, some estimates need to be revised. Remember that you do not have to pass judgment on yourself, you are only assessing your abilities on this moment. Everything can be learned, which means there is reason for optimism. Let it become a conscious process for you.

They can make you understand something that cannot be expressed in words and that science cannot explain. This is a great way to use completely different capabilities of the human body.

Accepting yourself is a very important step. You roughly understand what to expect from yourself, you know your good qualities, and the presence of bad ones does not spoil your mood - after all, you are determined to get rid of them. Many people are so intolerant of their shortcomings that it literally eats them up. You need to calmly and methodically get rid of your disadvantages if they poison your life. Separate yourself from the shortcoming and boldly work to eliminate it.

You can analyze 50 characteristics of your personality and understand yourself better. Join us!

Affirmations

It's time to use the subconscious. The first step is to gain self-confidence; repeat the appropriate affirmations to yourself as often as possible. Many people consider this a waste of time, but it is self-hypnosis that allows you to become more decisive. work great with your hidden capabilities. You've probably had days when you were confident and everything worked out for you. So why not increase the number of these days and make confidence a habit?

Focus on action

Affirmations and self-hypnosis are good, but only if you take action. Confirmation is important. If you say that you are confident, then where are the results, where is the evidence? Actions are what give your brain confirmation.

Surprisingly, the action is not important of great importance, the only important thing is what meaning you yourself attach to it. Simply clearing your desk can be proof that you can take action. And the more such evidence, the sooner you will begin to move by inertia. Therefore, start with something simple, only after completing each task, note it to yourself, or better yet, put a tick on your to-do list.

We wish you good luck!

REPORT

Formation of adequate self-esteem of a junior schoolchild

The formation of adequate self-esteem is the most important factor in the development of a child’s personality. Relatively stable self-esteem is formed in children under the influence of assessments from others, primarily from nearby adults and peers, as well as in the process of the child’s own activities and self-assessment of its results.

Jr school age is a period of intensive development of self-esteem, which is due to the child’s inclusion in new socially significant and valued activities, and a significant expansion of his social circle. At this age, as experience accumulates in assessing the results of one’s own activities (primarily academic), the child’s self-esteem becomes autonomous and less dependent on the opinions of others. Self-esteem “reflects what the child learns about himself from others and his increasing own activity aimed at realizing his actions and personal qualities.”

Self-esteem, as the most important mechanism for regulating behavior, plays a big role in a child’s mastery of educational activities, in the realization of his capabilities and abilities, in the establishment of friendly relations with classmates.

Adequate self-esteem underlies the formation of a child’s self-confidence and his capabilities, and serves as the basis for the development of personal usefulness and competence. Inadequate self-esteem (both overestimated and underestimated), on the contrary, prevents the disclosure and realization of the child’s capabilities and abilities, leads to the emergence of internal conflicts, communication disorders and, in general, indicates the unfavorable development of the child’s personality.
Since self-esteem is formed under the influence of the assessment of others and, having become stable, changes with great difficulty, it can be changed by changing the attitude of others. Therefore, the formation of optimal self-esteem strongly depends on the fairness of people's assessments. It is especially important to help a person raise their inadequately low self-esteem, to help them believe in themselves, in their capabilities, in their worth.

Self-esteem is a necessary component of the development of self-awareness, i.e. a person’s awareness of himself, his physical strength, mental abilities, actions, motives and goals of his behavior, his attitude towards others, towards other people and himself.

Correct self-esteem is very important for mental health. If a person - especially a child - thinks that he is a mediocre, unlikable and useless person, he begins to behave according to this assessment. An objective attitude towards oneself forms the basis of normal self-esteem. In our environment there will always be people superior to us in some way: stronger, more beautiful, charming, intelligent, successful or popular. And in the same way, there will always be those who are inferior to us in this.

The difference between a confident person and an insecure one is especially noticeable at the moment when you need to take a decisive step. The first one concentrates on the task at hand, thinks about what he must do. The second one manages to remember all his failures, misfortunes and problems combined. Consequently, only through numerous trials and errors does a person comprehend the extent of his real opportunities.

Self-doubt has positive side- it forces people to constantly improve and not stop there. In a word - develop. Problems begin when doubts grow to the point of gigantic size, paralyzing a person, completely destroying his attempts to take the initiative to do something significant, to break the vicious circle.

Another important one psychological feature, which influences a person’s achievement of success, are the requirements that a person places on himself. The one who claims to himself increased requirements, tries to achieve success to a greater extent than someone whose demands on himself are low.

Proper self-esteem is very important for mental health. If a person - especially a child - thinks that he is a mediocre, unlikable and useless person, he begins to behave according to this assessment.
With adequate self-esteem, the subject correctly correlates his capabilities and abilities, is quite critical of himself, strives to realistically look at his failures and successes, tries to set achievable goals that can be achieved in practice. But self-esteem can also be inadequate - too high or too low.

Children with high self-esteem are often characterized by arrogance, snobbery, the desire to win an audience at any cost, and tactlessness. They react painfully to criticism, believing that best protection- this is an attack. They like to criticize their classmates. They often exaggerate their own capabilities. People with high self-esteem have communication difficulties. A person who considers himself much smarter than others, and even more so deliberately emphasizes this, inevitably irritates those around him. This is natural - after all, the thought “see how smart I am” implies a disdainful attitude towards others.
Inflated self-esteem, as a rule, is a feeling that arises in response to the unfair attitude of others towards oneself. Inflated self-esteem contributes to touchiness and intolerance to the slightest remarks (however, there is another extreme: a person from the height of his “I” does not even take serious criticism to heart).

Self-esteem may also be underestimated, i.e. below the real capabilities of the individual. This usually leads to self-doubt, timidity, lack of daring, and the inability to realize one’s abilities. Such people do not set difficult-to-achieve goals, limit themselves to solving ordinary problems, and are too critical of themselves.

Too high or too low self-esteem disrupts the process of self-government and distorts self-control. This is especially noticeable in communication, where people with high and low self-esteem cause conflicts. With inflated self-esteem, conflicts arise due to a dismissive attitude towards other people and disrespectful treatment of them, too harsh and unfounded statements addressed to them, intolerance of other people's opinions, manifestations of arrogance and conceit. Low self-criticism prevents them from even noticing how they offend others with arrogance and indisputable judgment.
With low self-esteem, conflicts can arise due to the excessive criticality of these people. They are very demanding of themselves and even more demanding of others, do not forgive a single mistake or mistake, and tend to constantly emphasize the shortcomings of others.

The problem of the emergence and development of self-esteem is one of the central problems in the development of a child’s personality. A child is not born with some kind of attitude towards himself. Like all other personality traits, his self-esteem develops in the process of education, in which the main role belongs to the family and school.

When a child enters school, a new period begins in his life; the leading form of his activity becomes educational activity with its special regime, special requirements for his neuropsychic organization and personal qualities. The results of this activity are assessed with special points.

In educational activities, a junior schoolchild needs the ability to set goals and control his behavior, to manage himself. To manage yourself, you need knowledge about yourself and self-assessment. The process of forming self-control depends on the level of development of self-esteem. Younger schoolchildren can exercise self-control only under the guidance of an adult and with the participation of peers.

The self-esteem of a primary school student depends on the teacher’s assessment and on success in educational activities. Exploring the role of self-esteem in cognitive activity discovered that the child attaches special importance to his intellectual capabilities; the assessment of these capabilities by others always worries him very much. Children preferred to consider themselves lazy and undisciplined, but no one attributed their failure to insufficient intellectual abilities.

Children of primary school age exhibit different kinds self-esteem. Children with high adequate self-esteem are distinguished by their activity and desire to achieve success in educational activities. They are characterized by maximum independence. They are confident that through their own efforts they will be able to achieve success in their educational activities. This is based on correct self-assessment of your capabilities and abilities. Thus, a junior schoolchild and teenager with adequate self-esteem are characterized by activity, cheerfulness, cheerfulness, a sense of humor, and sociability. They know how to see the strengths and weaknesses of their own personality. Tolerant of criticism.

Children with high self-esteem overestimate their capabilities, the results of educational activities, personal qualities. They choose tasks that are beyond their capabilities. After failure, they continue to insist on their own or immediately switch to the easiest task, driven by the motive of prestige.

Children with low self-esteem behave completely differently. Their main feature is self-doubt. In all their endeavors and affairs, they expect only failure.

Children who have adequate self-esteem are active, resourceful, cheerful, look for errors in their work with interest and independently, and choose tasks that correspond to their capabilities. After success in solving a problem, they choose the same or more difficult one. After failure, they test themselves or take on a less difficult task.

But, sometimes, having worked hard and successfully completed the task, the student sets an easier goal for himself - this is low self-esteem. When, having not achieved success, the student sets himself an even more difficult task - this is inflated self-esteem. If at the same time the student does not become arrogant, does not treat his friends condescendingly, and sooner or later achieves success on his own or with help, inflated self-esteem is useful.

Low self-esteem can be due to many reasons. Sometimes a person adopts it in childhood from his parents, who have never dealt with their personal problems, in other cases it develops in a child due to poor performance at school, which, in turn, is the result unfavorable conditions for homeschooling or lack of parental attention. Both ridicule from peers and excessive criticism from adults can have a detrimental effect on a child’s self-esteem. Low self-esteem also contributes to such character traits as touchiness.

Inadequate low self-esteem in younger schoolchildren is clearly manifested in their behavior and personality traits. Children choose easy tasks. They seem to protect their success, are afraid of losing it, and because of this, they are somewhat afraid of the educational activity itself. The normal development of children with low self-esteem is hampered by their increased self-criticism and lack of self-confidence. They are only waiting for failure. These children are very sensitive to approval, to anything that would increase their self-esteem.

The stable self-esteem of a junior schoolchild forms his level of aspirations. At the same time, the younger student has a need to maintain both self-esteem and the level of aspirations based on it.

It is known that children have different attitudes towards the mistakes they make. Some, having completed the assignment, carefully check it, others immediately give it to the teacher, others delay the work for a long time, especially if it is a test, for fear of letting it slip out of their hands. To the teacher's note; “There is a mistake in your work” - students react differently. Some ask not to indicate where the error is, but to give them the opportunity to find it and correct it themselves. Others, unconditionally agreeing with the teacher, humbly accept his help. Still others immediately try to justify themselves by citing circumstances.

The attitude towards mistakes made, towards one’s own mistakes, shortcomings not only in learning, but also in behavior is the most important indicator of a person’s self-esteem.

Pupils, encouraged and encouraged by the teacher, gradually get involved in the work and often find the mistake themselves.

A child’s self-esteem reflects not only his attitude towards what has already been achieved, but also what he would like to be, his aspirations and hopes. Self-esteem is closely related to what a person aspires to. The development of self-awareness in a child at primary school age is manifested in the fact that children gradually become more critical and demanding of themselves. First-graders predominantly evaluate their educational activities positively, and attribute failures only to objective circumstances; second- and third-graders are more critical of themselves, assessing not only their successes, but also their failures in learning. At primary school age, there is a transition from evaluating one’s actions and actions to a more generalized one. Independence of self-esteem also increases. If the self-esteem of a first-grader depends almost entirely on the assessments and behavior of adults, then students in grades 2 and 3 evaluate their achievements more independently, subjecting them to critical evaluation and the evaluative activities of the teacher himself. Becoming independent and stable, self-esteem begins to serve as a motive for the activity of a primary school student.

Correlating one’s own assessment of one’s educational activity with the assessment that this activity receives from others, the ability to take into account the point of view of others, the emergence of this two-sided approach is a significant milestone towards the formation of students’ critical self-assessment of the achieved results of educational activity.

It is important not only for the teacher to adequately assess the objective result of educational activity itself, but also to take into account what the student himself sees and values ​​in this result.

Thus, at primary school age, self-esteem can be unstable, while children exhibit different types of self-esteem: adequate, inadequate low and inadequate low. At the same time, self-esteem is formed in educational activities and in communication with the teacher and peers. Inadequate self-esteem of younger schoolchildren requires attention not only from teachers and parents, but also from a psychologist, because These children may have problems learning and communicating with other children.

With children who have low self-esteem, correctional and developmental work can be organized aimed at increasing self-confidence, reducing emotional stress, and creating a situation of success.