From early childhood, a person is taught to tell the truth. Don't lie - this is one of the rules of morality. But a person does not always like the truth, but certain cases can lead to tragedy and become life-threatening.
So what is better: the bitter truth or the sweet lie?
It is very difficult to answer this question unambiguously. Of course, the answer is that better truth, whatever they are. The ability to speak the truth, not to lie, not to change one’s moral principles - this is characteristic only to a strong man, morally pure. After all, not everyone likes the truth. Especially if a person’s opinion goes against generally accepted views and foundations.
How many examples does history know when people sacrificed their lives, but did not betray their views. It is worth remembering the famous D. Bruno, who died at the stake for claiming that the earth was round, who dared to express a theory that ran counter to the canons of the church. From time immemorial, people have gone to the chopping block for their ideas, for the truth.
And yet a person must tell the truth. Living according to conscience is difficult, but also easy at the same time. There is no need to dodge, invent something that doesn’t exist, or adapt to the opinion of your interlocutor. A truthful person lives with a clear conscience and does not fall into the web of his own lies. It is truthful people who move history, they are the initiators of the greatest deeds, they are the color of any country, any people. It is no coincidence that truthfulness, as psychologists say, is one of the first places among positive qualities that people highlight.
But what about lies?
After all, she is so sweet, pleasant, soothing. It may seem strange, but lies also have a right to exist in our world. It is simply necessary for people who are weak, selfish, and unsure of themselves. They live in an illusory world of deception.
Yes, the epiphany will be terrible, the truth will still come out, it is invincible, but for now, such people think, let everything remain the same. It’s so nice when a person is praised, admired, admired. Sometimes these people don’t even understand where the line is between truth and lies. This is a real human problem. It’s good if there is someone nearby who will open his eyes and show the truth, no matter how difficult they may be. And let this happen as soon as possible.
However, lying is sometimes simply necessary for a person. How to say that he is hopelessly ill, that he only has a little time left to live? It is common for a person to believe that he will still live; sometimes this faith does real miracles - it actually prolongs a person’s life. And this may be a few, but still days, months, and sometimes years, when a person lives next to loved ones, people who love him.
The choice between truth and lies is made by each person himself. This choice ultimately reveals what it is.
If telling the truth were as easy and pleasant as Bulgakov’s hero claimed, then the language would probably have the expression “ sweet truth" However, no, only lies are sweet for us. As we know, only the bitter truth can be better than that.
Why is the truth bitter?
Most often, the truth turns out to be bitter because it contains unexpected information or speaks about something that a person is afraid to admit to himself. Let’s say management calls the cartographer and says: “Ivan Ivanovich, are you aware that the earth is flat and rests on three pillars?” And then 10 minutes later another call would ring: “Hello, Vanya, it’s me, your brother, lost in childhood.” What do these two messages have in common? The answer “April 1” does not count. The fact is that both phone calls change the picture of the world of the unfortunate Ivan Ivanovich, and radically.
Each of us has a picture of the world. It is formed and confirmed by the experiences that we receive every day. For example, the fact that dogs love you, that if you light a cigarette at a bus stop, a bus will come right away, or that a worker at the emergency department issues certificates only for a box of chocolates - these are signs of your picture of the world. Each person’s picture of the world includes not only ideas about others, but also ideas about oneself, about one’s own relationships with others, about one’s place in this world. And suddenly some monstrous contradiction arises, like a dust bag hit the head...
For most, redrawing their own picture of the world is not only a long, but also painful process. It turns out that a situation in which a person is “happy to be deceived” often becomes our defensive reaction.
The bitter truth is like a poisonous plant
Growing conditions. The bitter truth is unpretentious. To grow it, you only need one thing: the presence of initial distorted information. Moreover, it does not matter for what reasons it was distorted - intentionally or accidentally. Favorable soil for the growth of bitter truths are omissions, the desire to protect another from troubles, the fear of being misunderstood, the discrepancy between one’s ideal self and the real state of affairs.
What do you least want to know?
Facts that influence our self-esteem.
Unpleasant discoveries in personal life - when a person discovers that he has been deceived about the qualities of a loved one or the circumstances surrounding him.
Unflattering information about close relatives.
Information concerning our health.
About the so-called figures of silence: this is the truth, seemingly known to everyone, but to which everyone carefully turned a blind eye before its publication.
Distribution area. Can grow anywhere: in interpersonal relationships, both in work and in assessing events - in all aspects that make up our picture of the world.
Signs of poisoning. What is at stake when we discover the bitter truth? Firstly, our picture of the world is changing. Secondly, relationships with a truth-teller may turn out to be hopelessly damaged. Thirdly, the bitter truth can seriously affect our self-esteem, and in some cases even unsettle us for a long time.
Healthy dishes based on the bitter truth
Whether to tell the bitter truth or keep it to yourself is an eternal question. Opponents of dumping the bitter truth on the interlocutor usually cite the example of seriously ill people who, having learned their diagnosis, completely lost the will to live. But lovers of the bitter truth will certainly like the plot of one of Maupassant's stories, the heroine of which borrowed a diamond necklace from a wealthy friend, and, having sparkled and danced at a party, discovered that she had lost the jewelry. Horrified, she makes every effort to urgently borrow money, buy the same necklace and return it to her friend without scandal. She devotes her entire life to paying off debts to creditors, and only many years later does she learn that the necklace she lost was fake. The plot, of course, is melodramatic, but the moral is clear: sometimes, because of the fear of telling the truth, your whole life goes awry.
So there is no clear recipe for truth and lies. With the same terminally ill people, not everything is so simple. For example, it is known that several decades ago Solzhenitsyn overcame an oncological diagnosis largely due to the fact that he was harshly told: “He’s not a survivor.”
Therefore, operating with the bitter truth, you must follow several rules.
1. Assess your goals and upcoming results. That is, to ask the question: “To whom?
will there be any benefit from this truth? If you answer “I just can’t wait to open my eyes,” you will be counted among the ideological truth-tellers. The answer: “It will be useful, but only to me,” exposes you as a person who does not care at all about the interlocutor. In other words, it is better to speak the truth when the situation objectively demands it.
2. The degree of bitterness of the truth should be measured not by oneself, but by the one to whom it is addressed.
3. Take into account the characteristics of the physical and mental state of the person being enlightened. Worry someone close to you nervous breakdown, it’s not worth it unless absolutely necessary.
In addition, it is better to clearly understand that a deceiver (including those who deceive with good intentions), like a fighter for the truth at any cost, is driven by his own understanding of the situation, which may turn out to be true only in one instance or a completely incorrect assessment. A historical anecdote says: “They wanted to tell Socrates something about his student. Then Socrates asked: “Will this help me, benefit me, or teach me?” They told him no, and the philosopher did not want to listen. So he never found out about his wife’s betrayal.” This also happens.
Olesya Sosnitskaya
Every person more than once in his life faced a choice: whether to reveal the true state of affairs or to embellish the situation if it would be more favorable in this case.
Let's speculate: what is better: a pleasant delusion or pure truth, sometimes even of a sad nature.
Completely different events happen in life: joy is replaced by sadness, the smiles of Fortune alternate with certain obstacles.
Thinking about the relationship between what is happening and our thoughts and actions, one cannot help but notice one very important detail: No matter what, it is much preferable to know correct, truthful information than to enjoy pleasant but false information.
After all, if we begin to believe in a fairy tale, which, in fact, does not exist, then sooner or later this fact will make itself felt: one careless step can change fate in the absolutely opposite direction. Being in captivity of illusions, a person stops assessing the situation in real time. He sees only the outer shell of circumstances, not noticing the inner one and not paying attention to the “pitfalls” of this or that matter.
One of the most common misconceptions is often a misunderstanding of the feelings of other people. A veil of romantic inspiration envelops the eyes and sometimes does not allow one to understand how sincere the words of a loved one are.
We know the example of Sophia, main character poems by Griboyedov A.S. “Woe from Wit”, who, having fallen in love with Molchanin, a modest but selfish employee of the girl’s father, first accepts his romantic impulse as a gift of fate, which finally made her happy. But everything is revealed in one moment: after seeing the scene of the declaration of love between Molchanin and the sweet maid, Sophia realizes how wrong she was.
Disappointment is an indispensable companion of any delusion. The later the real picture of life becomes clearer, the more painful and difficult it is to accept the truth, understand its essence, and most importantly, change your life for the better.
In love, for example, sometimes it happens that we overestimate the sincerity of the chosen one’s intentions: perhaps his words are at odds with his actions.
So, being mistaken in some significant issue, we plunge into the world of illusions, and it, most likely, will not be able to lead us to the right road leading to success. On the one hand, in some cases a pleasant lie, or, as it is commonly called, a lie in the name of salvation, seems to be the only relevant solution. But, on the other hand, why mislead the people who are dearest and closest to us; While wishing them well in this way, we may be dooming them to unpleasant consequences: disappointment, resentment, sad thoughts.
Therefore, in our quest for a successful career and a harmonious atmosphere, we should not forget that all this can only be achieved if we clearly see the picture of events. If reality is clearly embellished, someday it will become known, the shadows will disappear, the secrets will be revealed.
According to Mark Twain, “When in doubt, tell the truth.” Indeed, you shouldn’t invent non-existent facts, because it’s up to you to unravel the threads of fate.
A pleasant delusion can only help for a while; it does not allow life energy to be realized in full force, which means a person risks missing out on the unexpected gift of His Majesty Chance.
The illustration was found on the Internet.
If everything related to truth or lies were simple and understandable, the people would not have the expression “better the bitter truth than sweet lie».
However, this saying is found in almost all languages of the world. Let's figure out which is better and whether there really is a better of these two evils.
Better means "more profitable"
Alas, most often when people talk about choice, the advice is aimed solely at achieving their own benefits. Agree, it is ridiculous to somehow follow advice that will leave you in the “fool”. The saying “better the bitter truth than a sweet lie” is no exception. What is meant here is not the moral side of the issue, but one’s own interests. After all, it is obviously clear that by telling the truth, you will remain “clean”, not soiling yourself with the mud of lies. So what if such truth can cause pain and suffering to someone? “I’m clean!” the ego will say. “Yes, it’s unpleasant, but it was the truth!” It turns out that if you move away from the principle known from childhood, nothing bad will happen? Moreover, a lie can be salutary, while the truth can harm and destroy? We'll figure it out!
Fools and children always tell the truth
Children don't tend to lie. The kids are so truthful and natural in their rightness that they shamelessly point their fingers at strangers, filling the space with “unpleasant” questions: “Mom, why is uncle so fat?”, “Why is this aunt dressed like a parrot?”
It is not difficult to guess who first teaches a child to lie - of course, the parents. It could be “Shhh!”, or it could be a gift in the form of a slap on the head. And the baby understands that the truth, such as it is, can be very unpleasant and even painful. As the child grows up, he notices more and more lies around him and gets involved in this mutually beneficial game. After all, the world is not a holiday, you don’t want to go to school, you don’t want to do your homework, you don’t want your parents to scold you for a bad grade. We ask the question: “What is better - a bitter truth than a sweet lie?” V early childhood. However, the issue of truth and honesty only becomes more acute with age.
There is only one truth
You may have heard the expression: “There is only one truth.” This is a very commonly used saying when we're talking about about morality, good and evil, things “right” and “wrong.” Meanwhile, if you dig deeper, it turns out that everything is not so simple.
For one person evil is abstract, for another it is concrete. Some people believe in justice, while others believe that everything has been bought and everyone in the world is for themselves. Imagine that there is a war between two nations. Ask a representative of one people - who is right in this war? Of course, he will answer that his side is right, but his opponents are both evil and insidious. But his opponent will also stand his ground, claiming that the truth is on their side. If this thought experiment does not seem convincing to you, then conduct your own, real one.
Interview several people (your parents, friends). Ask them questions like: “What is truth?”, “What does it mean to act honestly?”, “What is untruth?” You will see that everyone will give their own answer, related to their own life experience and baggage of experiences. Finally, ask: “Which is better, the bitter truth or the sweet lie?”, and you will again hear different answers. It's simple - a person judges solely from his past. Someone encountered a lie, suffered from it and now does not accept it. And someone has become a victim of the truth, naked and merciless, and now prefers to close their eyes to the facts, to hear lies, but without pain. It turns out that the question is: “What is better, the bitter truth or the sweet lie?” doomed to remain unanswered?
Everyone has their own truth
Sometimes it is not easy to come to the truth. As they say: “How many people, so many opinions,” and this means that Meanwhile, deep down, everyone knows the correct answer to the question. And this is for all the accumulated experience, for the traumas of the past and the wounds of the present. Each person can deny something out loud, disagree with something in his mind, but deep down we all know the only true answer.
It doesn't matter what kind of God you believe in or what religion you profess. You can be a convinced atheist and deny the existence of the Almighty. And you can have any position in life. But you must admit: in any situation you always feel what would happen the right decision. No matter what happens, at every moment you can clearly say what should be done. But we most often act as it would be more profitable for us or as circumstances dictate.
What is this for? Because every person always knows what is best. How to do the right thing so that everyone feels good. Moreover, the inner voice sometimes puts the interests of others above its own.
For the inner voice to answer
Every time we are faced with a situation called “better the bitter truth than a sweet lie,” we also hear an inner voice. We have been told many times that the truth is always better.
We have heard that the bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie, and sometimes we blindly followed this rule. And tell me honestly - has this always led to good results? Was a person always happy to hear the truth, or would he rather make do with a lie? It turns out that half the time you can lie - and it will be for the good.
Don't follow stereotypes
Forget about the so-called rules if you want to live happily ever after on this planet! Who told us that the bitter truth is better than a sweet lie? Parents who themselves taught us to lie. Teachers who are not role models.
Other people who tend to make mistakes. All rules are invented by people, and what they come up with does not work in almost half of the cases. Don’t ask yourself: “A bitter truth is better than a sweet lie - is that true?” Remember your life situations when you followed this rule. Did this lead to a good result? Has the truth caused you and people suffering? There is no truth! There are a million circumstances and situations, and there are many ways out of them.
The only truth is not to harm yourself or others. If harm is the so-called “truth,” then sometimes a sweet lie is better than the bitter truth.
When is it okay to lie?
You yourself know the answer to the question about the ethics of lying. You can lie when the truth can destroy and cause pain. This is not about blissful ignorance. But the thing is, sometimes the truth can turn the tide completely human life, make it worse. A person may be so unprepared for the truth that it can literally kill him. In this case, the dilemma “better the bitter truth than a sweet lie” should not even arise.
Focus on your inner voice
Even being brought up in certain traditions, we still always know best option our behavior or reaction. A person is not a machine, not a robot or an animal.
Yes, sometimes we are guided by instincts, sometimes by education, but nothing can drown out the voice of the soul and heart. People who live in accordance with their inner instincts are the most calm - because they always act “in truth.” Of course, not all actions in this case will be determined by their own benefit, and, nevertheless, they will be the best choice.
Forget about stereotypes. Don't worry about choosing anything - these are created by people for fun. Live according to what your heart tells you. This is the best compass in life's ups and downs.