Good manners are the basis for the behavior of a well-mannered person in society. The way of dealing with other people, the expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, gait, gestures and facial expressions are all called manners. Modesty and restraint, the ability to control one’s actions, to communicate carefully and tactfully with other people - these are the qualities that are based on good manners. There are a few basic rules of etiquette that you should adhere to.

Bad manners are considered to be the habit of speaking loudly, without hesitation in expression, swagger in gestures and behavior, sloppiness in clothing, rudeness, outright hostility towards others, disregard for other people's interests and needs, shameless imposition of one's will and desires on other people. Also - the inability to restrain one’s irritation, deliberate insult to the dignity of people around him, tactlessness and foul language.

Manners relate to the culture of human behavior and are regulated by etiquette. Etiquette implies a benevolent and respectful attitude towards all people, regardless of their position and social status. It includes polite treatment of a woman, respectful attitude towards elders, forms of address and greeting, rules of conversation and behavior at the table. In general, etiquette in a civilized society coincides with general requirements politeness, which are based on the principles of humanism.

A prerequisite for communication is delicacy, which should not be excessive. Do not mistake flattery and unjustified praise of what you see or hear for this quality. There is no need to try hard to hide the fact that you are seeing, listening to, tasting something for the first time, for fear of seeming ignorant. Any pretense is repulsive.

Ability to behave correctly in different situations can protect you from an unfriendly attitude, which is certainly important for any person, and especially if we're talking about about him business relations. The exchange of formal courtesies (unless it is outright fawning) is actually not such a banal thing as it seems at first glance. By showing the proper tact, you win over your interlocutor and leave a pleasant impression - that’s the whole axiom.

The idea of ​​excessive complexity of etiquette rules and the desire to simplify relationships is very controversial. Stopping showing each other signs of respect does not mean taking life easier.

Courtesy

When it comes to social events, you should: answer as quickly as possible whether you will come or not; a promise should not be broken except for a very serious reason; and immediately inform the organizer of anything that has anything to do with your participation in the event.

This approach is universal. Of course, a formal breakfast is more important than a party in a pub, but the essence is the same. Call by phone if you are delayed or cannot come at all, even if it is about informal meeting. It may surprise you, but people sometimes worry about you. For example, did you have an accident if you didn't show up for a meeting? Nowadays, with the widespread use of answering machines, you can cowardly call people when you expect them to be absent and leave your apologies on the answering machine.

How to introduce people

There are formal rules about how people should be introduced. There are situations where you certainly must do this with utmost care. More generally, in an ordinary everyday situation or at work, if there is any doubt that someone does not know someone, you should introduce people to each other in the simplest way possible. Of course, you can say more if you want. You can also immediately continue on your way, but you still have to introduce yourself. It is considered very bad form to force your friends to listen to your conversation with someone else without even introducing them to each other.

All this is even more important when it comes to social events. Many people who are otherwise polite and reasonable do a poor job of this task. They believe that introducing people to each other is not their business. Either they are too shy, or they assume that everyone already knows each other; or find it too formal and tedious to introduce everyone by name. However, presentation is so important to the flow of conversation that it doesn't matter who does it. You may introduce your brother and sister to each other by mistake, but remember: it is better to introduce people you already know to each other than not to introduce them at all. Don't assume that everyone already knows each other. This is another example of underestimating one’s own importance: at some public event. You may know virtually no one, but others may know even fewer there. Then you can become a link between the two groups, and it is your responsibility to introduce them.

How to give thanks

What could be more important than this? When I tell people I'm writing a book on etiquette, this is the topic they care about most, and they insist that I cover it. They get hurt by how much other people don't bother to say "Thank you." This feeling is so universal - then who are the people who don’t bother to say thank you? Perhaps people expect words of gratitude from others to a greater extent and react sharply to their absence or insufficiency, while they themselves generally forget to say “Thank you.”

There are a huge number of options in this area, and you have to respect local traditions. However, in general, you should thank people appropriately for almost everything: an invitation (even if you decline it), a gift, a weekend spent visiting someone. You express gratitude immediately, and if the service or gift is very significant, you thank again later - in a letter, or by phone, or in person. (If you are thanking a family or group of people, it is best to do so in writing, since you may not be able to reach everyone by phone.) In some cases, you may want to give a small, symbolic gift. You should never say, “Oh, they probably know how grateful I am to them, so there’s no need to talk about it,” or, “So many people gave me wedding gifts, so I don’t think they expect me to thank each of them in writing.” " Both are completely wrong! I want to emphasize again: you will never make a mistake or offend anyone by expressing gratitude, but you will be wrong if you neglect this simple show of politeness.

Personal habits

There is a general consensus that certain manners and habits are inappropriate. This point of view of people should be taken into account, even if you yourself do not share it. The rules include the following:

1. Use your hand to cover your mouth when you cough or yawn.
2. Use a tissue when you sneeze, or cover your nose with your hand if you don't have time to do otherwise. Don't pick your nose or sniffle.
3. Don't itch or pick anything out from under your nails - such actions create a repulsive impression.

The main idea: you should not do anything that is unpleasant to the people who are forced to watch it.

A little embarrassment

Sometimes it happens that we unwittingly offend someone. No one is immune from mistakes, from accidental tactlessness in conversation or gesture. As a rule, all you need to do is apologize sincerely and the incident will be over. If you have a sense of humor, then perhaps the best way an apology will be an acknowledgment of one’s mistake in a cheerful manner, laughing at oneself. In any case, the moment of tension that has arisen cannot be left unresolved - it will be unpleasant for both you and your interlocutor.

When a person sneezes, you should tell him “be healthy!” even regardless of whether you know him or not.

Cloth

Many people always dress their own way and don't worry about it. For example, they wear jeans with a shirt everywhere - both to work and to a wedding. Others don't leave the bedroom without makeup and high heels. Such people probably have no problem deciding on clothing. The rest of us (this is especially true for women, since men tend to have fewer styles and clothing options and thus are less likely to make mistakes) have to think about this problem. In this case, you need to either follow the rules or think carefully yourself.

If we are talking about a completely official event, then perhaps the invitation will give some recommendations about this, or you can call the organizers and ask - this will be a completely normal and reasonable step. If the event is less formal, it is best to ask the hostess or another guest. When it comes to visiting some fashionable place, it would be correct to ask the owner (or a friend, if he invited you to stay at his parents’ house): “Are we going to change for dinner?” An elegant dress will help a woman in almost any situation. This is more difficult for men, since in some cases a tuxedo will be required for dinner. Usually you will be warned about this in advance, but there is nothing wrong if you ask about it yourself.

If you still can’t figure out how to dress properly for an event, ask yourself: “What clothes seem most appropriate for me in this case?” Some people don't like wearing too little, others don't accept formal style, others absolutely don't want to dress like others... Think carefully about everything and choose your outfit; It may not be perfect, but at least you won't feel uncomfortable.

Old-fashioned good manners and their modern version

There were many traditional rules regarding how men should behave towards women. Today these rules may seem quite old-fashioned. On the one hand, there is nothing wrong with men continuing to show scrupulous politeness to women. Even the most ardent feminists are unlikely to be angry with someone who is simply trying to be polite to them. There is nothing offensive about, for example, having a door opened for a woman. On the other hand, it should not necessarily be considered a sign of rudeness or bad manners for a woman if a modern young man, generally polite and attentive, does not treat her as if she were a porcelain vase and unable to take care of herself.

Old rule: Men always open the door for women.

New rule: The door is opened by the one who goes ahead, or who is stronger, or who is simply more convenient to open it. So, whether you are a man or a woman, hold the door for those who are older than you, or limited in their abilities, or carrying small child or shopping - it doesn’t matter who is what gender. You can also go first, but then hold the door on the other side for the person behind you. The one who received this service says: “Thank you.”

Old rule: A man walks around the car (which he is driving) to open the door for a female passenger.

New rule: The driver - male or female - opens the door from the outside for the passenger to sit down. At the end of the trip, the driver opens the door and helps an elderly or disabled passenger exit, but in other cases he may assume that the person can handle this task himself.

Old rule: Men give up their seat to women on public transport.

New rule: Young, healthy people both sexes give way to elderly or sick people, pregnant women, people with heavy luggage.

Old rule: Men stand up when a woman enters or leaves a room, and also when she gets up from a table in a restaurant.

New rule: In a restaurant, the host or companion may stand to greet the newcomer, show him his seat, and perhaps pull out a chair. At semi-formal meetings, when new person or someone is leaving, it is considered normal for all guests to stand up to greet or say goodbye. This avoids dissonance between those who are sitting and those who are standing, which could lead to some awkwardness. Of course, it is quite natural that some will remain seated due to medical problems or due to old age. If someone leaves the room (or table in a restaurant) on a short time, then the rest don’t have to get up.

Old rule: A man accompanying a woman walks along the outside side of the sidewalk, that is, from the side of the roadway.

New rule: There is no such thing. Many young people do not even suspect that there was once a rule about this.

Good manners

Good manners - One of the basic principles modern life is to maintain normal relationships between people and the desire to avoid conflicts. In turn, respect and attention can only be earned by maintaining politeness and restraint. Manners are a way to carry yourself, external shape behavior, treatment of other people, expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, characteristic gait, gestures and even facial expressions.

Therefore, nothing is valued as dearly by the people around us as politeness and delicacy. But in life we ​​often have to deal with rudeness, harshness, and disrespect for the personality of another person. The reason here is that we underestimate the culture of human behavior, his manners.

Manners are a way of holding oneself, the external form of behavior, treatment of other people, expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, characteristic gait, gestures and even facial expressions.

In society, good manners are considered to be a person’s modesty and restraint, the ability to control one’s actions, and to communicate carefully and tactfully with other people. Bad manners are considered to be the habit of speaking loudly, without hesitation in expressions, swagger in gestures and behavior, sloppiness in clothing, rudeness, manifested in open hostility towards others, in disregard for other people's interests and requests, in the shameless imposition of one's will and desires on other people, in the inability to restrain one’s irritation, in deliberately insulting the dignity of people around him, in tactlessness, foul language, and the use of humiliating nicknames and nicknames.

Manners relate to the culture of human behavior and are regulated by etiquette. Etiquette implies a benevolent and respectful attitude towards all people, regardless of their position and social status. It includes polite treatment of a woman, respectful attitude towards elders, forms of addressing elders, forms of address and greeting, rules of conversation, behavior at the table. In general, etiquette in a civilized society coincides with the general requirements of politeness, which are based on the principles of humanism.

A prerequisite for communication is delicacy. Delicacy should not be excessive, turn into flattery, or lead to unjustified praise of what is seen or heard. There is no need to try hard to hide the fact that you are seeing, listening to, tasting something for the first time, fearing that otherwise you will be considered ignorant.

At the table it is considered impolite to talk about the cost of dishes, whisper in a neighbor’s ear, and much more. Dishes, silver, crystal, porcelain. The business card is widely used in business relations and protocol diplomatic practice. It is just as foolish to despise fashion as it is to follow it too zealously. Business letter should be short, precise and to the point. Demeanor is the same way to show respect for the people around you, like neat clothing, polite behavior in conversation, and tact. Some table manners. First courses can be served either in a deep plate or in a special broth cup. Costume - business card business person. “You are accepted by your clothes,” clothes are the main condition for how good a person’s opinion is of you. Passengers who are familiar with the norms of etiquette do not have drinking bouts in the compartment, do not make cosmetic masks, and do not clean their nails. Leading Rule behavior in the theater - maintaining silence. You can recognize a well-mannered person on the street by his measured gait and ability to behave modestly but with dignity. Wines are served either chilled, warmed or simply cold. Champagne is served chilled, Bourgogne or Lafite is served warm. The rest of the wines are served simply cold. Don't stand out with your clothes during working hours. The tone of the conversation should be smooth and natural, but not pedantic or playful. Each nation has its own rules of meetings and partings. Rules for talking on the phone. You can't insult a woman. When setting the table, you should keep in mind that it is not customary to put more than three forks or three knives (each type of dish must have its own utensil) since all the utensils will not be used at the same time. The letter itself begins with an exact repetition in the upper left corner of the address written on the envelope. Making a phone call is not so simple: even if the interlocutor does not see you and cannot evaluate your appearance and manner of behavior, the more he will pay attention to your voice, to the slightest intonation. Faxes are gradually fading into oblivion, but in some places they still continue to be used. The meaning of colors, their combination with each other. The foundations of economic ethics were laid by Aristotle. Usually, before entering the hall, visitors examine themselves in the mirror. Etiquette in letters is essentially the same formalities that have turned into customs.

About 100-200 years ago, great attention was paid to issues of ethics and behavior in society when raising boys and girls. Each noble family considered it their duty to hire a tutor for their son and a governess for their daughter, whose main duty was to teach their children not science, but good behavior. At that time, children learned the rules of etiquette and good manners, as they say, with their mother’s milk. Are they needed today? After all, life now places much more demands on a person related to career achievements and self-improvement than those aimed at forming impeccably courteous relationships between members of society.

Of course, certain etiquette requirements remain. They have become somewhat simplified due to the fast pace of modern life and the abundance of information that must be thought about and used, but they have not disappeared at all. Let's see what kind of person is recognized by the society of the 21st century as polite and well-mannered.

Basic rules of etiquette in society

Norms of behavior in society can be divided into several subsections. These are the rules of conduct:

• at work and business meetings;
• when attending business events;
• at friendly meetings;
• visiting.

The very first thing a person who wants to be considered well-mannered should pay attention to is this. If, for example, you said hello on time, shook hands with a friend according to the rules, hastily jump up every time a female person enters a room, know how to conduct small talk in a low voice, and have even learned to sneeze almost unnoticed by others, but at the same time you wear a stale shirt and shoes cleaned last time last week - you will never be recognized as a person who knows the rules of etiquette. It has long been customary in society to greet people by their clothes.

You probably noticed, like in spy films: main character he just successfully shot back, dodging the bullets of twenty bandits, then crossed a swamp, and then ran for a long time through the entire city, because he urgently needed to get to headquarters with a report, and in the end his suit was not even wrinkled, his boots shine like polished , and your hairstyle hasn’t gone astray? This is how it should be (ideally, of course) for you.

You should wear a suit and a light shirt to work. Women can add some jewelry, but keep it subtle. IN Lately Dark-colored jeans are considered acceptable for men. The main thing is that everything should be clean and ironed.

When entering a room, the person who entered is the first to say hello. If you are at work, then the subordinate should be the first to greet the boss, and the junior should be the first to greet the senior. If a woman is in a subordinate position, whose boss is also younger than her, then he should be the first to greet the lady.

Often in small teams it occurs sensitive issue: Is it possible and when can I switch to “you” with colleagues? Previously, it was believed that this was unacceptable, but current etiquette makes it possible to find a solution to the issue, because calling by name greatly simplifies relationships, makes them more trusting, and therefore the entire team more united. But you should switch to “you” only if it suits everyone and does not create awkwardness.

A business meeting most often takes place over a cup of coffee or lunch. The main rule here is not to be late. You should not talk loudly, interrupt your interlocutors, or “interject” into a conversation between two partners without warning. If you want to say something, you need to ask for forgiveness for having to intervene in the conversation, and only after that make your comment.

At friendly meetings everything is somewhat simpler. The rules of good manners here boil down to saying hello to the company upon entering and subsequently behaving in such a way as not to stand out too much from the general background with your behavior. Smile, be friendly, pull up chairs for the ladies, offer them wine (if it’s already time for a feast).

Do not slander or gossip under any circumstances! In general, don’t talk about those who are absent – ​​unless in a positive way. Discussing other people's shortcomings behind the backs of the “heroes of the occasion” is the height of bad manners.

When visiting, say hello first to the hostess, then to the owner. Wait for your hosts to introduce you to the crowd. IN general conversations Do not touch on topics such as politics, money and religion. What can we talk about? Start with something neutral: nature, weather, travel. Anecdotes are also quite appropriate, but preferably not from the series about Lieutenant Rzhevsky. When saying goodbye, thank the hosts for their warm welcome.

Women and girls should be especially attentive to their own behavior in society. After all, they have to conform to men’s idea of ​​the fair half of humanity as gentle, sophisticated and vulnerable creatures in need of male support. Previously, girls were even specially taught the art of fainting, so that a man would not dare to insult them not only by action, but also simply by an immodest word or look. Those who were especially quick fell in such a way as to fall into the arms of a sympathetic subject, after which they successfully got married.

Fortunately, these days the rules of etiquette for girls have become much simpler. They don’t need to run away or slap the gentleman who dares to use the word “passion” in a conversation. There is no need to coyly, refuse tasty morsels at the table, pretending that they eat less than a bird of heaven, or leave the male company as soon as business conversations begin. But some postulates in order to become a true lady are still worth learning.

A girl must learn to emphasize her own personality. It is better to choose clothes, makeup, and hairstyle closer to the classics if you have a first date.

Accessories also shouldn’t be brutal.

The girl's task is to call young man the desire to protect and take care of her, and not to drink together “for brotherhood.” Therefore, a skirt or dress, a small handbag, and high-heeled shoes will come in very handy.

It won't be so easy for a girl who has been invited to a restaurant by her gentleman. She should know the following:

• A well-mannered admirer will invite her to study the menu first.
• Before starting dinner, you need to put a napkin on your lap (on your lap).
• You shouldn’t greedily drain a glass of wine - you need to drink it several times in small sips.

Of course, it is unacceptable to slurp (even if the soup or roast turns out to be very tasty), or to spit fish bones even on your own plate (they must be carefully and, if possible, unnoticed, removed from your mouth and simply placed on the plate with your hand). You cannot sit and enthusiastically “cut” fish or fish for several minutes. meat dish, so to speak, to immediately prepare it for use. Instead, cut it off little by little as needed. The knife must be held in right hand, the fork is in the left.

In fact, these are not all the rules, but you shouldn’t get too hung up on following them perfectly. And remember: if you make a mistake (for example, accidentally spilling red wine on white shirt gentleman), the main thing is not to get confused. A sweet smile and “Oh, I didn’t mean to!” will help you. If he truly loves you, he will forgive you.

Rules of good manners: a few general comments

Generally modern rules good manners are simple.

Your task is to be able to learn to harmoniously combine naturalness and politeness.

This politeness should in no case become cloying and intrusive. For example, in public transport a man must give way to a lady. You gave in, she doesn’t want to sit down. Don't insist! However, you are still obliged to offer the lady your seat.

When talking, always be attentive to your interlocutor, listen to him, and only then express your opinion, preferably not in a categorical tone, firmly, but politely. Ask questions, give the person a chance to talk.

Don't be rude in response to rudeness. If you are offended, the best response would be an ironic but calm remark made, or simply ignoring the boor.

If you are walking with a companion and meet an acquaintance with whom you start a conversation, introduce your companion and interlocutor so that both do not feel awkward.

Always carry a perfectly clean handkerchief with you. Do you suddenly sneeze or yawn inadvertently? The scarf will serve an invaluable service.

Well, and finally:

Be optimistic and friendly.

Do not walk around with a gloomy face - this causes negative emotions in others. As they say, smile, be simpler - and people will be drawn to you!

The times are long gone when rules of behavior in society were taught in schools. After many years of oblivion, good manners and etiquette are returning to our lives. The ability to behave at a table, in the theater, even on the bus will make your life easier and help you avoid awkward situations.

Here are a few simple rules that will definitely come in handy

1. A man always lets a woman go first. However, there are several exceptions to this rule. The representative of the stronger sex enters the elevator first. The one closest to the door leaves first. A man is the first to descend the stairs of a ship, an airplane, or from public transport. And further. Those entering and leaving always hold the door.

2. If you have to walk to your seat along a row of chairs, go facing the people sitting in them. The man must go first.

3. When entering from the street, a woman may not take off her hat and gloves. But if you have a hat on your head and your hands are hidden in mittens, it is better to leave them in the hallway.

4. If you enter with a wet umbrella, it is indecent to dry it open. Fold and place in a special stand. If you don’t find one, hang the umbrella on a hanger.

5. Without a handbag, any woman feels insecure. But where should I put it so that it’s at hand and doesn’t bother anyone? Large bag You can hang it on the back of a chair (your own!) or place it on the floor. A small, elegant handbag looks appropriate on a table. But placing it on your knees or behind your back is unacceptable. This is bad form.

6. By coming to visit without calling, you can put the hostess in an awkward position. Well-mannered people make an appointment in advance.

7. If you decide to meet in a restaurant, the question arises who pays. Usually the one who invites. Even if a woman invites, say, her colleague. But if she says: “Let’s sit in a restaurant,” this assumes that everyone pays for themselves.

8. You should not inform your dining companions about the peculiarities of your diet. If you don’t eat sweets or fatty foods, don’t offend your hostess with a categorical “no” to her cake. Let the delicious piece sit on the plate. But to try it or limit yourself to complimenting the cook’s abilities is your decision. The same rules apply to alcohol.

9. If you don’t want to catch contemptuous glances, don’t carry plastic bags as bags, even with the logos of the most prestigious boutiques. They are only suitable as packaging for purchased goods.

10. What is decent to wear at home? Many people think that a robe or pajamas are just the thing. A sweater, trousers, a comfortable house dress will not only make you more attractive, but will also add respect to others.

11. Maintain moderation when decorating yourself with various jewelry, not every woman is capable. An international protocol comes to the rescue. He is quite loyal, limiting their number to 13 items. And a few more nuances that distinguish a lady with taste. Rings are not worn over gloves, even thin ones. But the bracelet is appropriate. Diamonds have always been considered an evening decoration. True, now the rules have been relaxed somewhat, and diamond earrings or a ring can be worn during the day.

12. Don’t want the man accompanying you to look funny? Don't let him carry your bag. And he takes his coat just to carry it to the locker room.

13. Have you given your child a separate room? Train yourself to knock if you want to go to him. This important element in developing self-esteem. And he won’t burst into your bedroom without knocking.

14. Polite address to the interlocutor exists in all languages ​​of the world. In Russian this is an address to "you". A well-mannered person says “You” to all people over 12 years old. Those who like to “poke” are unlikely to gain respect from their interlocutor. You have to be able to put them in their place. Let's say, coldly and distantly: “Are you addressing me?”

15. A car is an important attribute of modern life. There are also several rules for using it. A woman occupies the driver's seat. The satellite (if there is one) is located nearby. It is considered good manners to open the door for a lady and help her get out of the car. True, in our hectic times, this rule is becoming increasingly difficult to observe.

16. For the ability to conduct small talk, it is important to know which topics it is better not to touch upon. Among the forbidden are age, religion, salary and, in general, monetary relations between people (as well as intimate ones).

17. Despite the fact that sometimes you really want to discuss the habits or actions of an absent friend at a friendly table, do not give yourself free rein. Ushakov’s dictionary gives the following definition of the word “gossip”: “An unkind or defamatory rumor about someone, spread on the basis of incorrect, inaccurate or fabricated information.” So is it worth stooping to savor these fabrications? Just like complaining about your husband. By humiliating him, the wife humiliates herself and gives reason to consider herself a stupid woman.

Courtesy in communication, the ability to say hello, express sympathy, congratulate on a holiday, thank and respond to gratitude - all this, by and large, is the rules of good manners. Jack Nicholson, the famous American actor, producer, director, said that they - "... to everyone clear language mutual respect."

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The school of good manners is a reliable barrier to bad behavior

Are good manners a thing of the past?! Today's times have given rise to an unprecedented stream of rudeness. The reasons are permissiveness, the cult of violence, the decline of morals in the family, school, and on the street. Now hear swearing from the lips of the students junior classes, and sometimes preschoolers, is a common occurrence. There is no desire to go to places with large crowds of people: stadiums, hospitals, shops - where you can be insulted, humiliated, and often used physical violence. But how to deal with this? How to prevent the whole world from plunging into the abyss of obscurantism, foul language, and disgusting behavior? There is only one way out - cultivating good manners. This advice is good for people of all ages. After all, how nice it is to be in the company of well-mannered people - real ladies and true gentlemen!

Lessons in manners

The great German philosopher Immanuel Kant said wonderful words:

“Two things fill my soul with ever new and ever stronger wonder: the starry sky above my head and the moral law within us.”.

One can also recall the thoughts of A.P. Chekhov on this matter, who wrote:

« You have only one drawback. It contains both your false soil and your grief. This is your extreme bad manners. The fact is that life has its own conditions... In order to feel at ease in an intelligent environment, so as not to be a stranger among it and not be burdened by it yourself, you need to be brought up in a certain way... (...)".

I think many Russians can apply these words to themselves.

Good manners examples

What traits characterize a well-mannered person? Of the many constituent qualities of good upbringing, only four examples can be given, but provided that they act together:

1. Self-dignity. The most important sign that speaks of respect not only for oneself, but also for the Image as a whole, in the Likeness of which we are created.

2. Respect for other people. Follows from the first point because we are all equal and made of the same stuff.

3. Speech culture. It is by this quality that a person’s manners are judged first of all when meeting him for the first time.

4. Appearance. It’s not without reason that they say that people are first greeted by their clothes and are unlikely to good impression can produce a sloppy, unkempt person.

ABC of good manners

What do you mean by dignity? This is not only a combination of high moral qualities, but also respect for them in oneself. I'll try to give brief description sublime ethical principles. These are not violations physical boundaries other people without urgent need. There is no need to pat, hug, flirt, or invade the intimate area of ​​other people. To put it more clearly and briefly, do not be familiar with strangers. But there is also emotional boundaries, which affect not only our feelings, but also the feelings of others. Excessive modesty and overt causticism are completely unacceptable here. Shy people often cannot resist rudeness, which consists of unjustified attacks, slander, offensive remarks, etc. (let's remember the culture of speech).

Respect for other people

Good manners are instilled from early childhood

If a person has gaps in moral education, he has great difficulties communicating with other people. At the same time, defects arise that are striking to outside observers: suffering - the desire to be alone; selfishness; and sometimes aggressive behavior. Often there is a state of anger, uncontrollability of one’s behavior, which arises from resentment, injustice, dissatisfaction.

This behavior of parents provokes in the child the development of fear of unreasonable punishment. A conscientious worker has a fear of not completing a task, while a lazy worker has a fear of any work. Therefore, even a not very well-educated person is constantly tormented by remorse, shame, guilt, and, as a result, anger at himself, which goes deep into the personality, poisoning his life. As a result, contempt for other people (most often for one’s loved ones), a feeling of disgust, and disgust may develop. Gradually formed syndrome bad mood when a person begins to look for excuses in hateful work, his children, unsettled life and other reasons.

Teach children good manners

But there is one very important feature. Good manners can only be taught to a child, and then only up to a certain age. It is impossible to teach this to an adult unless he wants it himself! The Bible says this wonderfully: “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces.” Learn to control your behavior in any environment: at home, at work, in in public places- this will be the first step in developing good manners.

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